example= I was just made the ceo of Microsoft.....
and the next person would type in...
Unfortunately, it's located in Siberia..
then the same person who wrote the Unfortunately part, would start again with a sentence..
okay?....I will start.....
I just inherited a million dollars..
Unfortunately, it's all in Confederate bills.
I just found a diamond ring on the sidewalk......
Unfortunately, It's owned by a Sumo Wrestler....
Elisabeth ededed
Quote from: Elisabeth on June 01, 2010, 07:04:51 PM
Unfortunately, It's owned by a Sumo Wrestler....
Elisabeth ededed
you were supposed to continue with a sentence too, so the next person could go.
I'll restart it...
I found keys today...
Unfortunately, they were next to shackles, and a prison jumpsuit
I just found a very hot and suggestive note on the windshield of my car
... unfortunately, it was from a guy named Bill.
I'm going to a new restaurant tonight...
Unfortunately I am suffering from chronic diarrhoea and a prolapsed rectum.
I am attending a school reunion on friday.......
Unfortunately, it's my wife's
My wife packed a lunch today
Unfortunately, you grabbed yer son's science project instead.
I just met the woman of my dreams
....Unfortunately I was dreaming.
I've just been promoted.
Unfortunately, she's a He.
I've finally solved a Sudoku puzzle
unfortunately, you became the head janitor...
unfortunately, it wasn't a sudoku puzzle, it was yer taxes...
Today I climbed Mount Everest
Unfortunately I never found my lost uncle Abe....
I've just quit smoking....
Unfortunately, I received 3rd degree burns before someone put me out.
I just came across some old letters
Unfortunately they were from the Dementia clinic and I've missed my appointment missed my appointment.
I just won a date with a hot celebrity
Unfortunately it's Paris Hilton...
I have invented the ultimate product in mosquito repellent....
Unfortunately...... it didn't guard any of the bodies orifice, the repellent triggered a
chemical reaction to the mosquito. The mosquito then developed an
appetite for human flesh, entered peoples bodies and ate
them alive!!!!!
Today, I found the fountain of youth!!!!
Quote from: marsattacks666 on June 03, 2010, 12:17:21 PM
Today, I found the fountain of youth!!!!
Unfortunately, it was bubbling up in the public toilet of my local "Dennys".
Today I found a method of dropping 25 pounds without exercise or dieting........
Unfortunately, it involves cutting off my head.
Today, I borrowed money from the mob...
Unfortunately they won't accept a baloni sausage carved in the likeness of Joe Pesci as repayment.
I've been given 6 months to live....
unfortunately, you must spend those last 6 months on an island with yer mother in-law, watching "David Hasslehoff sings the Blues"..
I found the lost city of gold
Unfortunately, it's what I owe the IRS.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life...
unfortunately you were just shot in the gut six times and are bleeding out.
I just saved the president.
Unfortunately, it was the president of the 'Let's Tar and Feather MorsVampiris' Benevolent Society...
Your wife just told you she saved $800.00....
unfortunately, she spent the other $999,200.00 from the million dollar lotto you won.
I traveled to the Himalayas and captured the elusive Yeti
Unfortunately, when I brought him back PETA pelted him with red paint for wearing fur.
I just became the new center fold photographer for Playboy.
Unfortunately, it's the Playboy Centerfolds of the 1940s era...
I just met my fiance's parents for the first time
I regret meeting him, he beat me senseless for not thanking him every time he did something.
I am the first man to land on mars
and Unfortunately the last....Martians ate the brain!
Today I won a trip to Alaska.
unfortunately the plane crashed on the way there, and everyone died.
I just got married to the hottest woman I can find
Unfortunately, she's a psycho hose beast and.....well, just transformed
into a centipede.....Ouch!!!
I just found a warehouse full AHI male Creature(s) from the Black Lagoon!!!
Unfortunately the AHI stood for Angry, Hormonal and Incontinent.
I just watched my teenage son perform in a play.....
... Unfortunately, it was an all-nude production of "HAIR"!
I was pretty excited when someone knocked on my door this morning...
Quote from: Unknown Primate on June 04, 2010, 02:37:54 PM
... Unfortunately, it was an all-nude production of "HAIR"!
I was pretty excited when someone knocked on my door this morning...
Unfortunately,only a flaming bag of dog poop was there to meet me.
My daughter was just elected Prom Queen......
Unfortunately.......in Outer Space!!!
I just fell in love with an Alien lifeform, named..........
IT! The Terror From Beyond Space... Unfortunately.
I have a funny feeling in my stomach... Hope it's love...
Probably it's ANTS!!!! Eating and eating at your lower intestines..... Unfortunately
let's all go for a swim, in my new pool!
unfortunately its filled with nuclear waste.
I just became president of the USA
Unfortunately, you were assassinated just 30 seconds after the inauguration..
I just invented a serium that cures all diseases
Unfortunately, you're too weak from disease to inject yourself.
I just bought a brand new bicycle!
unfortunately, you bought it from Fast Eddies pawn, and earlier that day , he was arrested for selling hot merchandise..
I went on a Safari in Africa
unfortunately you were just eaten by a lion.
I just bought a new car
Unfortunately, it has two dead bodies in the trunk....(did you also purchase this from Fast Eddie?) ;D
I just became wwe world champion
Unfortunately, I had to kill two panda bears and a turtle to get the belt.
I just got job as an ethics officer in Washington.
Quote from: Ormsby on June 04, 2010, 06:08:22 PM
Unfortunately, I had to kill two panda bears and a turtle to get the belt.
I just got job as an ethics officer in Washington.
that would only work if I said WWF...not WWE :P
Doc you broke the chain in your own game! Shame on you and damn your impudence! ;D
I've been recognised by the Guiness Book Of World Records.....
unfortunately it was for the shortest time living. 1 whole second. way to go!
I just found a my long lost son...
Unfortunately he bit off a chunk of my ear, apparently he wasn't happy with the name I'd given him.
I have just joined a band....
Unfortunately......it's a Boy band.. Haaaaaa!!!!
I really wanted to invent Hot Pockets. But, someone........
already had the idea and patented it first. how unfortunate. you could have been rich.
I just bought the first house on the moon
Unfortunately, the 'house' is just a small Habitrail set up and the aforementioned 'moon' is just some guy named Hank's hairy buttock...
I just got a secret admirer flower arrangement...
Unfortunately, it's from Rosie O'Donnell.
I just met the girl of my dreams.
Unfortunately she is upstairs with a spinning headed, vomitting pea soup.
I'm going out for a night in NYC...
...unfortunately there's a gang war currently.
I just invented a working Time machine.....
unfortunately, you used a porty-potty as the box, and that smell just wont go away...
I just found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow
...unfortunatley it was gold foil covered chocolates.
I just got an invitation to the Playboy Mansion....
unfortunately it is vacant (empty) when you get there and there is a sign saying sold on the front lawn. No sex for you.
I just became the world's best sniper...
Unfortunately for mr. Squirrel....
I met my new neighbours today....
Unfortunately.....they were cannibals. Zombie No Smile
The medication I started taking, turn out to be............
a poison lethal to most humans. you eventually got sick and puked blood until you died. how unfortunate
I discovered a cure for AIDS
Unfortunately, the AIDS virus is killed by injecting the infected person with the bacteria that causes leprosy.
I finally found my long lost love......
she was mauled by a bear and is 5 seconds from death.
We just discovered an alien race.
Unfortunately they all look like this......
(http://i924.photobucket.com/albums/ad81/benfifield/mac.jpg)
I just won an all expenses paid holiday for two.....
unfortunately its to cuba and they still are mad at you for betraying them... decisions decisions. death with pleasure or survival with out.
I just produced a significant amount of anti-matter...
Unfortunately, in this example, 'anti matter' is code for explosive diarrhea in your pants.
I just woke up from a dream that I was being eaten by a shark...
unfortunately three days later my dream came true.
I just found the lost city of Atlantis...
Unfortunately it's in New Jersey.
I just discovered a way to make lead into gold.
Quote from: Ormsby on June 06, 2010, 08:33:56 PM
Unfortunately it's in New Jersey.
I just discovered a way to make lead into gold.
Unfortunately,since that news got out the priice of lead is now the same as the price of gold.
I just got a great new job......
...unfortunately it's as a zoo monkey.
I just discovered the secrets of the Universe.
unfortunately, the vast knowledge was too great for yer brain, and it exploded..
I was asked to star in the next Spiderman movie
.....unfortunately as Doc Conner's love interrest.
I just inherited copies of every Horror comic ever printed.
Unfortunately, the will stipulates that I must have sex with Ray Ferry to collect.
I just discovered a new planet.......
Unfortunately, it's inhabited by Divine clones and they need to use you as a human salt lick to sustain life... all 6.5 billion of him (them).
I just figured out how to turn invisible...
unfortunately I haven't found out how to become visible again.
I just built a home made nuclear warhead...
Unfortunately you forgot to install a timer device.
I just discovered that I have a year remaining on car payments
Unfortunately, Godzilla stomped my car like a pop can.
I've discoverd I'm related to the Royal Family.
Unfortunately my great-great grandfather was a hideously deformed royal secret that escaped from the palace attic and bred with local peasants.
I just found a treasure map under my floorboards....
Unfortunately, the map leads to an oilwell in the Gulf Of Mexico currently pumping millions of gallons of crude into the ocean.
I just won first prize on American Idol.
Unfortunately, now it's a date with Billy Idol
While out at a rustic restaurant, I got a free dessert on my Birthday, from a hot Waitress (I know not veyy pc)
Quote from: Opera Ghost on June 07, 2010, 05:44:05 PM
Unfortunately, now it's a date with Billy Idol
While out at a rustic restaurant, I got a free dessert on my Birthday, from a hot Waitress (I know not veyy pc)
Unfortunately, the dessert was flaming Baked Alaska, which your wife promptly extinguished on your face for ogling aforementioned hot waitress.
(http://newworldodor.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/hooters-girl-ashley1.jpg)
From now on, you eat here:
(http://to0oni.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/hot-waitress2.jpg)
Which is fine, because you're blind.
I recently saw Wayne Newton in concert.
unfortunately the music at the concert was terrible and you hated yourself for going.
I found a brand new gold mine...
unfortunately, it's crawling with cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers.....
I just discovered a new reptile species
unfortunately it ate me.
I just located the island of beautiful Amazon Women...
...Unfortunately they're not beautiful.
I walked outside and it was a lovely day...
unfortunately, you were standing on the porch of Ed Gein's farmhouse....
I have just been asked to replace Simon Cowell on American Idol
Unfortunately I have no use for American Idol or anyone on it.
Today I reconnected w/my high school sweetheart.
Unfortunately she is now a traffic policewoman and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.....
I just finished writing a book....
unfortunately it didn't sell very well.
I found my valuable collector's items I lost 2 years ago intact.
Unfortunately, it is a Buy It Now item on EBay
I skipped breakfast this morning, and see the roach coach is outside the office
Unfortunately there is a Samoan Rugby Team already in the queue....
I have been accepted into the CIA....
....unfortunately this is the society of Completely Incompetent A*holes :P
I just won a beauty contest...
unfortunately you were the only one in it so you had no competition and you would have been the ugliest there.
I made the first successful peace treaty with an alien race...
Unfortunately, the whole Arizona thing is putting a crimp in relations, and they still haven't gotten over Roswell.
Just bought a house and there are weird noises in the attic
unfortunately, it's just Tom Arnold on a drinking binge again(just a joke Tom....just a joke) ;D
I met with Tom Arnold's lawyer today
Unfortunately the plea deal you were offered was to sleep with Roseanne Barr
I ate some delicious chinese food tonight...
Unfortunately, the cook forgot to remove the collar that read "Fido"...
I just saved a bus load of cheerleaders from drowning in the lake
Unfortunately, as you were pulling the last luscious and extremely grateful lovely ashore, a stray piranha accidentally freed from a local exotic pet store devoured your genitalia.
I just saved 15% on my car insurance with Geico.
unfortunately, this Geico stands for Giant Eared Iranian Cannibal Ostriches, which were hiding in the trunk of yer car....
I just had my debut fight at the UFC...
Unfortunately this UFC stands for United Fighting Crocodiles
I just voted
Quote from: Opera Ghost on June 09, 2010, 11:12:41 AM
Unfortunately this UFC stands for United Fighting Crocodiles
I just voted
Unfortunately, we got our current President anyway.
I was just abducted by a UFO.
Unfortunately the old anal probe stories are quite real....
I've discovered the Colonel's secret recipe....
Unfortunately it's Colonel Klinks recipe for POW surprise.
I've just been hired by NASA.
Unfortunately, it's as a test subject for the effects of prolonged isolation and celebacy
I just discovered a Time machine
Unfortunately, I'm now trapped in a "Groundhog Day" type cycle in which I'm trapped in a closet and forced to observe Roseanne Barr's wedding night in perpetuity.
I've discovered the secret to curing male pattern baldness.
Unfortunately you need to have lots of chest hair for it to work....
I've been picked to star in a new reality TV show....
Unfortunately, it's called "Piles with your Proctologist"
I just had a psychic vision
...unfortunately it's of the neighbor's Neopolitan Mastiff, Capt. McFarts, humping you as you try to get into your car tomorrow.
I am up for an award...
Unfortunately, it's for "The Guy who will most likely never move out of his parent's basement." award
I just purchased the car of my dreams...a 1932 Ford Deuce Coupe
Unfortunately, 'she' likes to be called Christine...
I just got a phone call from my mother-in-law...
Unfortunately, she will not be able to come visit for the wknd, however..she will be able to stay the whole month of December, for Christmas Holidays...
I keep hearing voices telling me.."if you build it..they will come.."
...unfortunately they were talking about outhouses.
I just found out I'm of Royal blood.....
Unfortunately, that means you're the product of the same centuries of inbreeding that produced Prince Charles.
I just discovered oil in my backyard.
...unfortunately that proves your living on a Toxic Waste dump.
I just met the girl of my dreams...
unfortunately, you werent the guy of her dreams.....
I was just crowned Mr.Universe
Unfortunately it was a ploy from MAD magazine.
I'm going to Europe this weekend.
Unfortunately your tickets are to SEE Europe... the 80's band, not go to Europe, the continent. They are opening for Hall & Oates in a roadside tent just outside of Hyannisport. 1st eleven patrons get a John Oates fake moustache. Congrats.
I just finished my laundry...
Unfortunately the blood of all those campers didn't wash completely out.
I was hired to be the star of a new horror movie.
Unfortunately, it's called "Castaway 2" and you play opposite a golf ball
I discovered a crack in the wall of my basement
Quote from: Opera Ghost on June 10, 2010, 10:03:57 AM
I discovered a crack in the wall of my basement
Unfortunately, I live in freaking Florida, so I can't even have a basement wall to crack.........or turn into my Monster/NFL Media room.
Sorry, I have to do my daily gripe about living in Florida.
I just found the original Munster Dragster used in the TV series in a local junkyard.
Unfortunately, "Spot" was dragging it around.
I just got a text about a meeting in 10 minutes
Unfortunately, it was a text from your Family doctor. Time for your Prostate examination! Ouch!!!!!! :P
I opened a bag of potato chips, just to find a weird.........
........mutated potato bug. Guess what insect got into the teleportation booth THIS time??
I just discovered and trapped a live Bigfoot.
Unfortunately......He broke loose, and now, He's re enacting the scene from Deliverance. OOOOOfffff!!!
My Wife just gave me a letter from the Govenment.......
Unfortunately its from Governor Schwarzenegger informing me of his intention to run away with said wife.
I've been accepted into my local lodge of freemasons....
Unfortunately.......they are all SATANIST! >:D
As I watching the movie THEM! I started to drift off, and fell asleep.
Only to discover.....
Ants in my pants!
I have finally mastered a second language....
unfortunately its a dead alien language no one speaks. sad face
I Caught an FBI's most wanted criminal single handedly
Unfortunately he had already chopped off my other arm.
I have just inherited a priceless piece of modern art....
Unfortunately, it comes alive at midnight and devours all of your Monster collectibles...
I have been tracking the elusive Jersey Devil for 3 days, and I finally came across his nesting site....
Unfortunately, the nest was full of your offspring
(...and no, we're not satanist)
I just visited Area 51
(I dont have any offspring)
Unfortunately, you black out and wake up on an operating table,surrounded by 4 alien lifeforms...
I just found the remains of Jimmy Hoffa
Unfortunately, they were in the hotdog you were eating.
I'm going to be the host of The New Gong Show..
Unfortunately, .................*GONG*....................... ;D
I found an ancient scroll that can give me immortality
Unfortunately, it burst into flames before I got the chance to use it!
I tried on a new pair of underwear...
...unfortunately they were used....and FULL.
I just learned to talk with animals....
Unfortunately, you pissed them off by screaming "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, YOU DAMN DIRTY APES!!"
I just got a brand new puppy.
....unfortunately it's a WEREWOLF puppy, and rips you apart.
I just found the fountain of youth....
... unfortunately, it was contaminated by the BP oil spill, >:(!!!
I just booked a room at a fancy hotel...
...unfortunately it's the Bates Hotel!!
I just hit the lottery....
Unfortunately, it is for "The Box"!
I just started vacation in Hungary
Quote from: Opera Ghost on June 11, 2010, 09:49:37 AM
Unfortunately, it is for "The Box"!
I just started vacation in Hungary
Unfortunately, you arrived at the height of the
"412th Annual Vlad The Impaler Historical Re-enactment And Ghoulash Festival", and they were short one pasty Anglo head to sit on the last pointed stake in the garden.
I just invented a perpetual motion machine.
Unfortunately it's a Rottweiler named Rough Shot Johnny and the 'machine' in perpetual motion is his tongue/ twig 'n berries...
I just drank a formula that made me strong as an ape...
unfortunately, it's side effects include...nausea,diarehha,indulces vomiting,irritating rash,and ugly pus filled blisters that cover the body.
I just learned that I am not of this world
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on June 11, 2010, 09:01:56 PM
unfortunately, it's side effects include...nausea,diarehha,indulces vomiting,irritating rash,and ugly pus filled blisters that cover the body.
I just learned that I am not of this world
Unfortunately, upon hearing this news, the world heaved an enormous sigh of relief.
I just discovered the Fountain of Youth.
Unfortunately upon further examination, you are actually the carrot from the Great Vegetable Rebellion Lost in Space episode... and this is not Earth, but the Giant Rabbit Planet...
It was dark, but I swore I had a date with the Landers sisters last night...
Unfortunately, it was Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby.
I just threw a football 50 yards.
Quote from: Scatter on June 11, 2010, 09:10:11 PM
Unfortunately, it was Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby.
I just threw a football 50 yards.
You and I are like Magic and Worthy on the fast break, circa 1987. I tee'd that up for someone who might be familiar with THOSE Landers girls AND the Audrey/ Judy pair. Well done.
Quote from: Sean on June 11, 2010, 09:13:25 PM
You and I are like Magic and Worthy on the fast break, circa 1987. I tee'd that up for someone who might be familiar with THOSE Landers girls AND the Audrey/ Judy pair. Well done.
It helps that we're both stuck in the 70s and aficionados of The Love Boat and Fantasy Island............where the Landers sisters appeared on what seems a weekly basis. Or they rotated with Charro (which sounds kinda dirty).
Quote from: Scatter on June 11, 2010, 09:10:11 PM
Unfortunately, it was Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby.
I just threw a football 50 yards.
Unfortunately it was in a small Belleek showroom in Ireland whose policy is 'You breaky... you takey'...
I just caught a foul ball...
Quote from: Sean on June 11, 2010, 09:16:22 PM
Unfortunately it was in a small Belleek showroom in Ireland whose policy is 'You breaky... you takey'...
I just caught a foul ball...
Unfortunately, the ball was attached to the groin of an unbathed iron worker. Foul indeed.
I was on Candid Camera
Oh, and BTW Sean............the Landers set-up was masterful. Simply masterful.
unfortunately, it was a prostitute sting operation posing as candid camera...
I just invented the beer pill
....unfortunarely the DEA busted you thinking it was something else.
I just found Dr.Frankenstein's Journal...
unfortunately, yer kids thought it was a coloring book, and drew you some pretty rainbows,flowers, and dinosaurs...
I just found a flying saucer in my woods
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on June 11, 2010, 11:24:38 PM
unfortunately, yer kids thought it was a coloring book, and drew you some pretty rainbows,flowers, and dinosaurs...
I just found a flying saucer in my woods
Unfortunately, "anal probe" means the same thing everywhere in the universe.
I just saw the Loch Ness Monster
unfortunately, it was just Creepysfan taking a bath....
I was abducted by Beautiful Blonde Big breasted alien hotties!!!
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on June 11, 2010, 11:50:01 PM
unfortunately, it was just Creepysfan taking a bath....
We're more likely to see the Loch Ness Monster than Creepy taking a bath.
QuoteI was abducted by Beautiful Blonde Big breasted alien hotties!!!
Unfortunately, they're all lesbian Beautiful Blonde Big breasted alien hotties.
I've developed a cure for insomnia.
....If you don't mind staring at your grandmother naked....
I have joined the elite ranks of Mensa....
... unfortunately, it's not because you're a genius. It actually stands for:
Monkeys Entertaining Naked Space Aliens!
I just recieved a letter that says, "YOU may already be a Winner!"
...unfortunately it's for Ungliest Pet.
I just joined the TAPS ghost hunters....
Unfortunately, TAPS stands for The Anal Probe Society.
I just discovered the lost continent of Atlantis
Unfortunately my oxygen supply runs out in 40 seconds.
I have invented the ultimate anti-aging cream....
Quote from: Scatter on June 11, 2010, 09:30:20 PM
Oh, and BTW Sean............the Landers set-up was masterful. Simply masterful.
I was the pitcher who grooved one to Mickey Mantle so he could pass Jimmie Foxx on the all-time HR list. ;)
Quote from: long live kong on June 13, 2010, 01:25:28 PM
Unfortunately my oxygen supply runs out in 40 seconds.
I have invented the ultimate anti-aging cream....
Unfortunately it works in reverse, is time-sensitive and the hand you've been applying the creme with is now a fetus's nub and you'll have to wait 18 years before it looks normal on your adult body.
I just got a really cool prize in a Cracker Jack box...
Quote from: Sean on June 13, 2010, 02:34:14 PM
Unfortunately it works in reverse, is time-sensitive and the hand you've been applying the creme with is now a fetus's nub and you'll have to wait 18 years before it looks normal on your adult body.
I just got a really cool prize in a Cracker Jack box...
Unfortunately you're a lonely, bitter old man, so that's the only thing you're going to get for Christmas, Scrooge.
I just won a pie eating contest.
unfortunately, it was just you at the Family Thanksgiving......(yeh, I had nothing...sorry)
Today,I just got the voodoo doll I ordered.
Unfortunately, it looks a lot like you.
I just found a first issue Hasbro GI Joe
Unfortunately I had to break the arm of the kid who was holding it....
I am expecting my third child....
Quote from: long live kong on June 14, 2010, 01:58:47 PM
Unfortunately I had to break the arm of the kid who was holding it....
I am expecting my third child....
Unfortunately, the sonogram clearly showed a "666" birthmark on his head.
I've managed to regenerate dead tissue.
...unfortunately it doesn't work on monkey brains, so your out of luck.
I just became an Ambassador between Earth and an alien world....
Unfortunately, At the reception dinner, you were the main course
I just found a skeleton key
...unfortunately it opens the doorway into Hell.
Valerie Bertinelli just called me up for a date...
Unfortunately, she was asking for Opera Ghost's number.
While I was driving last night, a giant Shadow ran alongside of my car
Unfortunately it was Valerie Bertinelli, who fell off the Jenny Craig wagon and came to collect on that date!
I ate the cheese plate at Restaurant 301 last night...
Unfortunately.......... I just got explosive dia(*at*)#*#(*at*)!
My best friend just told me that, if I take the twinkie out of the package.....
unfortunately, that it would grow arms and legs,and a rather large mouth with long pointy teeth,and devour yer flesh...
I was just asked to star in the new made for tv movie "Dark Shadows:the lost episodes"
Unfortunately....in actuality, it is all mostly film in CGI.
Today while swimming in the Atlantic, as I came to shore, I discovered
a large steam trunk filled with....................
MONEY!!!!!Unfortunately , due to the elements, the money had deteriorated.
Every tween in Border's bookstore is trying to locate a copy of Twilight.....
Unfortunately they all got a copy of Dean Koontz's 'Twilight Eyes' and got to read a real horror novel for a change....
I just purchased a genuine artifact from the Titanic at a bric-a-brac shop....
Unfortunately, a rogue iceberg breaking land from the North shore thru the british isles and demolished the shop.
Had a voicemail from Ed McMahon
...and it said you just won $10 million, but that the 'offer expires when I do'.
I just signed up for a nudist cruise...
Quote from: Sean on June 15, 2010, 09:58:21 PM
I just signed up for a nudist cruise...
Unfortunately, it's an all male gay cruise for Viagra salesmen.
I just found buried treasure.....
Unfortunately, the only way to haul it, is by loading it on that same "all male gay cruise" ship.
I just joined a gym...
Quote from: Unknown Primate on June 15, 2010, 10:41:43 PM
Unfortunately, the only way to haul it, is by loading it on that same "all male gay cruise" ship.
I just joined a gym...
Unfortunately, it's inside the Chimpanzee exhibit at the Zoo--watch out for Scatter
I just got a voicemail from an old acquaintance....
Quote from: long live kong on June 16, 2010, 12:46:00 PM
I just got a voicemail from an old acquaintance....
Thanks for picking up the Ball, Kong...
...unfortunately, they were calling from Hell, and said that I'm late for an appointment with Beelzebub.
A Telegram sent from 1951 just arrived to me
Unfortunately it was from my great uncle Frank and said;
My dearest nephew,
The walls of our bunker are thick and we hear little from outside. Is the war over?
We have eaten our supply of corned beef and are now living solely on a diet of tinned cabbage and distilled urine.
Help us dear boy before all is lost.
..................................................
My son has just graduated....
Quote from: Opera Ghost on June 16, 2010, 11:31:02 AM
Unfortunately, it's inside the Chimpanzee exhibit at the Zoo--watch out for Scatter
I'm the Nolan Ryan of poop flinging.
Quote from: long live kong on June 16, 2010, 04:02:57 PM
Unfortunately it was from my great uncle Frank and said;
My dearest nephew,
The walls of our bunker are thick and we hear little from outside. Is the war over?
We have eaten our supply of corned beef and are now living solely on a diet of tinned cabbage and distilled urine.
Help us dear boy before all is lost.
..................................................
My son has just graduated....
Unfortunately, he was valedictorian of Liverpool Beauty College.
I just saw a falling star.
Quote from: Scatter on June 16, 2010, 10:22:15 PM
Unfortunately, he was valedictorian of Liverpool Beauty College.
For anyone interested the Liverpool beauty college offers a two day course, day one is how to apply copious amounts of fake tan, day two is how to insert oversized gold loop earing's. (If you ever go to Liverpool you'll know what I'm talking about)
I just saw a falling star.
Unfortunately its headed this way.
I just met my childhood idol....
Unfortunately you were on a tour of Leavenworth.
I was just voted most likely to have a date Friday Night...
Luckily, a Monkey popped out of nowhere, and snagged it, dying from the poison after consuming it.
I just inherited a map to Blackbeards treasure
Quote from: Scatter on June 16, 2010, 10:19:38 PM
I'm the Nolan Ryan of poop flinging.
So that's what that smell around you is. ;D
....unfortunately you inherited Blackbeard's vengeful ghost with it.
I'm going to be an honored guest at the Lovecraft Historical Society....
Unfortunately I am required to eat nothing but raw lamb for 3 months prior to the 'meeting' and must prove that I am free of sin in order to be accepted by 'He Who Dwells In Subterranean Slumber'. He has another name but it is too difficult to spell and impossible to pronounce.
I have invented a new type of cheese....
Unfortunately it's very expensive because Scatter is the only one who can CUT it... :o
I just watched 2 hours of TV with the wife...
Quote from: Opera Ghost on June 17, 2010, 11:56:09 AM
Luckily, a Monkey popped out of nowhere, and snagged it, dying from the poison after consuming it.
VERRRRY clever, Indy... ;D
Quote from: Sean on June 17, 2010, 09:16:39 PM
VERRRRY clever, Indy... ;D
I have my moments, albeit much fewer and far between than Scatter
Quote from: Opera Ghost on June 18, 2010, 12:11:56 PM
I have my moments, albeit much fewer and far between than Scatter
Most of my moments are senior ones these days.
Quote from: Sean on June 17, 2010, 09:15:29 PM
Unfortunately it's very expensive because Scatter is the only one who can CUT it... :o
I just watched 2 hours of TV with the wife...
Unfortunately it was my neighbors wife.
I just downloaded plans to the Ultimate Weapon in the Universe
Quote from: Opera Ghost on June 18, 2010, 04:40:14 PM
Unfortunately it was my neighbors wife.
Now THAT'S funny!! :D
QuoteI just downloaded plans to the Ultimate Weapon in the Universe
Unfortunately, it requires that Obama be there on Day One to activate it (I know, I'm a little rascal ;)).
I just sold an original oil painting of mine for over half a million dollars.
Unfortunately, you are the CEO of BP, the canvas is the sea, the 'painting' is a satellite photo of the Southeast United States seaboard and the oil is..... the oil. Oh, and the 1/2 mil is in LIFE money.... 5 white $100,000 bills....
I just won 'employee of the month'...
Quote from: Sean on June 18, 2010, 05:25:42 PM
I just won 'employee of the month'...
Unfortunately, you collect blood samples during menstruation cycles of orangutans........and it was a heavy month.
I just got a call from the director of the FBI.
Unfortunately, the director of the Fire ant Buttock Incubators needs you to pay back that favor and house the queen and her 10,000 eggs in your rectum while their usual guy goes for a prostate exam...
The CIA called me with a unique opportunity...
Unfortunately, it was to locate Jimmy Hoffa's dog, that has also been missing
for over 30yrs.
My Wife just purchased a one of a kind antique.............
Unfortunately, it was an 8 track tape player for my car.
I just had the best meal of my life.
Unfortunately.....the best meal isn't the most healthy. When you woke
up the next day from the meal, your bones deteriorated and turned you into a BLOB!
Aliens have landed in my backyard last night and gave me a special gift......
Quote from: marsattacks666 on June 19, 2010, 06:53:40 PM
Unfortunately.....the best meal isn't the most healthy. When you woke
up the next day from the meal, your bones deteriorated and turned you into a BLOB!
Aliens have landed in my backyard last night and gave me a special gift......
Unfortunately, it's still in your rectum.
I survived Hurricane Katrina.
Quote from: Scatter on June 19, 2010, 08:04:26 PM
Unfortunately, it's still in your rectum.
I survived Hurricane Katrina.
Wow, ouch!!!!!
Unfortunately, your secret Ryan Seacrest collection didn't.
I just got a call from my Agent to star on the t.v. show the Jersey Shore.
Unfortunately, it was a real call...
I just found a house I want to buy...
Unfortunately the Bates Mansion isn't for sale :(....
A relative just found some old film in their attic with the words 'London After Midnight' written on the box....
Unfortunately,this "London After Midnight" was an British homosexual stag film......
I just saw a shooting star.
Unfortunately Phil Spector has escaped from prison and has gone postal....
I have just had a new tattoo....
Unfortunately, it's a tattoo of Jerry Springer.....naked!!!!
As I was drinking from the public water fountain, I was shocked to discover......
that it wasn't a water fountain at all, but rather someone's Newfoundland relieving itself on your tonsils...
I just met a pretty girl at the park today while jogging...
Unfortunately, it was at that very moment that you realized you were gay.
I just discovered a cure for the common cold...
Unfortunately, it involves gargling with the urine of a pregnant yak.
I saw Pamela Anderson naked on my pool deck.
Unfortunately, you had just stepped out of a time machine, and she was 93 years old!
I just set a world record!
Quote from: Unknown Primate on June 20, 2010, 09:04:22 PM
Unfortunately, you had just stepped out of a time machine, and she was 93 years old!
I just set a world record!
Unfortunately, Guinness doesn't have a category for "Longest Enforced Celibacy By A Spouse".
I had the best lobster chowder I've ever eaten today.
Unfortunately, there was a type-o and it should have read: Mobster chowder....as you were gulping down chunks of Vinnie and Paulie Saccone of the Saccone crime family.
2 of the biggest boobs you ever saw were in my house today, sans clothing...
Unfortunately, How 2 boobs like Unknown Primate and CreepyFan got IN my house, and why they were naked, remains a mystery.
I got a perfect score on my SATs.
Quote from: Scatter on June 20, 2010, 09:23:49 PM
Unfortunately, How 2 boobs like Unknown Primate and CreepyFan got IN my house, and why they were naked, remains a mystery.
I was sort of expecting that!!!
Unfortunately, SAT in this case stands for: Stinky Arse Test... and your melodorous buttock melted the machine, causing the tech administering the test to exclaim sarcastically: 'Perfect!'
I just won an all expenses paid vacation to a remote island...
Unfortunately it is called 'Plum Island, animal disease research centre'. Apparently Terns nest there.
I have just been handed down an ancient family recipe by my grandmother....
Unfortunately, it's an ancient voodoo cursed spell that cause dead sheep to rise from their earthly tombs and Baaa Baaa people to death.
I just got over being sick for a week..
Unfortunately, your name is Lucy and you were bitten by a nosferatu, so now you're undead as opposed to sick...
I just got back into town to visit my dad whom I hadn't seen in a while...
Unfortunately, he's not your dad. There was a mix-up at the hospital nursery years ago. And oh, it gets worse .. Ray Ferry has been looking high and low for you. ;)
There's nothing to watch on TV anymore with the NBA season being over.
Unfortunately, that means you'll have to take up the art of Crocheting. Every DAY!!!!! tynhrt
While using the Outhouse and talking on my cell phone. I accidentally or accidently(which ever)
dropped my phone........
Quote from: Unknown Primate on June 20, 2010, 09:36:59 PM
I was sort of expecting that!!!
I kid because I love...... ;)
Quote from: marsattacks666 on June 21, 2010, 12:09:35 PM
While using the Outhouse and talking on my cell phone. I accidentally or accidently(which ever)
dropped my phone........
Unfortunate for you, but fortunate for me because I wasn't listening to any more of your CRAP anyways. ;D
I stumbled upon this game yesterday while looking for 'The Person Below Me.'
Quote from: fmofmpls on June 21, 2010, 06:22:34 PM
I stumbled upon this game yesterday while looking for 'The Person Below Me.'
Unfortunately, you felt compelled to post here (WOW did you just walk into THAT one!!). ;D ;)
I just hit the Trifecta!!
I bow to your greatness Scatter. I need a new offensive coordinator to compete in this thread. And my defense is lacking too. Suddenly, I feel like the New Jersey Nets. :D
Quote from: fmofmpls on June 21, 2010, 06:39:04 PM
I bow to your greatness Scatter. I need a new offensive coordinator to compete in this thread. And my defense is lacking too. Suddenly, I feel like the New Jersey Nets. :D
C'mon.......it can't be THAT bad!!
Quote from: Scatter on June 21, 2010, 06:40:07 PM
C'mon.......it can't be THAT bad!!
Yeah, maybe I'm being too harsh on myself. Okay, I feel like my MN Timberwolves. We won three more games than the Nets. ;D
Quote from: fmofmpls on June 21, 2010, 06:45:33 PM
Yeah, maybe I'm being too harsh on myself. Okay, I feel like my MN Timberwolves. We won three more games than the Nets. ;D
Unfortunately, didn't the LAKERS beat the Timberwolves in March 104/96. That was rhetorical. Oh,
and the Lake's will beat 'em again in October. Ouch!!!
Today I feel all warm an toasty inside, because I found a trunk full of ............
Ancient Mayan volcanic idols,unfortunately.....the glowing heat sensation overcomes you and you burn to a crisp..
I spent a lovely day at the beach....
Unfortunately it was Party Beach, & you were consumed by a legion of cheesy Creature knockoffs.
I'm getting my first vacation in 3 years!
unfortunately, it's at the lovely resort of Crystal Lake....
I just moved into a beautiful 3 story victorian house
Unfortunately the last occupants left in a real hurry leaving all of their belongings behind and there appears to be a rat problem in the attic, their scratching sounds are keeping me awake at night. They must be in the walls too as my dog keeps growling incessantly at nothing in particular. Old houses eh?
My daughter has just got engaged....
unfortunately, it was to Scatter.....
I just set a new record on long distance jumping
Unfortunately, it was over the Grand Canyon, and you came up severly short and flat on the landing
A 100 year old Steamer truck just arrived at my doorstep
Unfortunately it was driven by a 100 year old nearsighted gentleman who ploughed straight through my house.
I have invented a miracle alcoholic beverage that can be drank without fear of a hang-over....
unfortunately, it taste's like camel urine....
I'm going on a soul searching journey in the Rain forest
Unfortunately, my journey, like much of the rainforest, was cut short.
My soul still waning, I went on a walkabout to the Outback
Unfortunately, the Aborigines' version of the 'Outback' isn't 'shrimp on the barbie'.... but rather YOU on the barbie...
Some natives wish to honor me in a ceremony...
Unfortunately.....it will be eating you, ALIVE!!!!!!
Driving my car today, a bus load of cannibals................
unfortunately, had a head on collision with a truck carrying spices, as you exited the car to help out,you slipped and fell into the spices,that were scattered about, in doing so....yer cigarette fell out of yer mouth igniting the fumes and you burst into flames,
as the surviving cannibals exited the wrecked bus. (why dont I just write a novel....lol )
As I rolled around in the spices trying to put out the flames, I made a mad dash and jumped off the bridge......
Unfortunately, as you plummeted off the (Winter River) bridge, you fell into
icy water, paralyzing you. Your body later discovered, but still you are alive,
is eaten by wolves.
I went to my first job interview in twelve years..........
Unfortunately, it was for the inmate-staffed food service department at Folsum...
I have a mob of beautiful women chasing me...
Unfortunately, it's into a river of Piranha.
Today I received a letter from Family Guy co-creator, Seth Macfarlane.
Unfortunately, he wants to get your retroactive permission to base a character named 'Meg' (verrrry tightly) on you...
The local sub shop just named a sandwich after me...
Unfortunately, it's a vienna sausage on naan bread
Weather man calls for rising temperatures today across the nation
Unfortunately, the only pool you have access to is a green, 3 foot round, upsidedown turtle that can accomodate about a thimble of water with you sitting in it.
The neighbor's wife is tanning out in her backyard today and you can see her clearly from your office window...
Unfortunately she resembles the old lady from 'There's Something About Mary'....
I was in a taxi earlier and found a script for Rob Zombie's latest masterpiece....
Unfortunately, notes include references to Devine, and Rupal as leads
Had a great drive into work today
Unfortunately it was through your boss's window with a 2-iron...
I took a long nap on a hammock today...
Unfortunately, I discovered that it's unwise to nap on a hammock erected over a fire-ant mound after carelessly eating a jelly donut.
I'm going to be on a TV gameshow.
Unfortunately, it's a new game show introduced by the Serkov family, called "Russian Roulette"
I had a wonderful day, kinda muggy, but then a nice breeze blew in...
Unfortunately, it was the first Hurricane of the season, and I now live in a place resembling Gilligans island.
I just ran into Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
Unfortunately, it wasn't me who ran into her. There can't be anything unfortunate about running into Elvira. Especially if you bumped into her front side. >:D
I ate a bag of Taco Bell for dinner tonight.
I just ran into Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
unfortunately, it was Unknown Primate in drag for Halloween....
I ate a bag of Taco Bell for dinner tonight.
unfortunately, you had nightmares of Betty White wrapped in a tortila shell chasing you all night, Saying "I got your hot sauce right here!"
I am going to investigate the pine barrens....
Unfortunately I am location scouting for George Lucas's new film, 'Jar Jar Meets The Ewoks'....
Tomorrow I am working as an extra on a film....
unfortunately, it's "Cellmates: A Love Story", and you play Bubba's %$#(*at*)...........
I just caught on film the scape ore lizard man
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on June 28, 2010, 07:51:57 AM
unfortunately, it's "Cellmates: A Love Story", and you play Bubba's %$#(*at*)...........
I just caught on film the scape ore lizard man
Unfortunately, Elvis was in the background and now you realize that no one will believe you.
I just jumped 34 cars on a mo-ped.
Unfortunately, the 34 cars toppled over and fell off of the moped, so there was no Guiness Record
I just visited Loch Ness
Unfortunately..... it was an animitronic of the fabled Beast.
While going through my attic today I discovered a doorway to..........
Grandpappy's old private crapper... and the toilet was full AND broke.
I just ate me some fudge...
unfortunately, it was left over from Bob Dylan's bakesale from the 70s.....(wait..is that unfortunate?... ;D )
I just inherited Dracula's castle
Unfortunately, it's just a crappy pizza parlor in foreclosure----and you owe the IRS $50 large.
(http://thm-a03.yimg.com/nimage/0528e658c6a2deae)
I just opened my Cracker Jack prize...
Unfortunately, it was an alien parasite that attached itself to yer face and burrowed thru yer forehead and ate yer brain....
and now yer just a walking alien zombie.
I just found a rare Van Gogh painting in an old trunk..
Unfortunately, it was a paint by numbers painting.
People always compliment me on my magic abilities......
Unfortunately you were whacked out on PCP and it was actually the MISSING neighbor, Eddie Van Gogh, PERSON---not painting, dead, stuffed in a trunk, found in your basement and so now yer doing back to back life sentences in San Quentin.
I just got a free sandwich from Dunkin Donuts...
Quote from: marsattacks666 on June 28, 2010, 10:17:07 PM
Unfortunately, it was a paint by numbers painting.
People always compliment me on my magic abilities......
Unfortunately they always just want you to make yourself disappear....
I just found out the neighbors are swingers...
Unfortunately, that isn't that bad?!? Wow!
Cockroaches have taken me out for dinner and a movie. Yes, Cockroaches! >:D
Unfortunately, cockroaches eat poop... and the movie is just video of what they do to you when you sleep.
My swinger neighbors asked me over for a party...
Unfortunately, I, MARSATTACKS was not invited. Darn,darn,darn!!!!
Robots, witches and serial killers want meet to join their new Club...
unfortunately, you misread it...it actually said..Robots,Witches, and Serial killers want meat,join our club...(why Robots want meat for, I have no idea)
I just got a phone call from my childhood sweetheart..
....unfortunately she's dead, and wants you to "Join us, join us" on the other side.
I just inherited the family mansion and fortune......
unfortunately, it's just an old run down shack in the swamp, and the fortune is all counterfeit confederate bills...
I lost touch with all that was reality
Unfortunately, you were a guest on the Montag 'Wizard of Gore Magic Hour' and he REALLY sawed you in half. (If you're an HG Lewis fan, you'll recall the line: 'what IS reality???')...
My kid just got money from the tooth fairy.
Unfortunately, she is now toothless
Just foundf out that I need a complete blood transfusion
Unfortunately....you have a rare blood type, only Draculonia the idiot, from the Planet DRACON can
give you that transfusion.
Martians spent the night in my basement last night for snacks and pizza......
Unfortunately it gives them extremely bad gas.
I just discovered that I am telepathic
unfortunately, it was just a dream......(couldn't think of a thing to write...)
I heard strange blood curdling screams coming from my neighbors house....
Unfortunately my deformed son has escaped from the basement again....they'l never take him from me!!!....
I've won tickets for the world cup final in South Africa....
unfortunately, you were attacked by a herd of rabid Giraffes en route to the game
I'm going on a Ski trip in Colorado with some friends
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on July 02, 2010, 03:43:50 PM
unfortunately, you were attacked by a herd of rabid Giraffes en route to the game
I'm going on a Ski trip in Colorado with some friends
Unfortunately, the Magic 8 Ball predicts that you will do a "Sonny Bono" on the bunny hill.
I just discovered a previously unknown home movie of Marilyn Monroe at a garage sale.
Unfortunately, it was really a Marilyn Manson homemade porn flick, which the seller erased Manson, and replaced it with Monroe..
My Garden is looking amazing!!
Unfortunately, that amazing garden of opium poppies now has you sharing a cell with a dead ringer for the dude in "The Crying Game".
I just bought new sneakers.
unfortunately, they already had feet in them.......
I just witnessed a UFO hovering over Scatter's house....
Unfortunately for the Aliens, Scatter ate them ALIVE!!!!!!!! Muuuuuuuu,ha,ha,ha,ha!!!!!!!!!!
Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons vow to record the most incredible KISS album ever...........
Unfortunately, all the music will be done with Kazoos...
While vacationing in the remote wilderness of Oregon, I came across some rather large footprints...
Unfortunately a large mysterious shadow then covers your body. By surprise,
the mysterious figure tears your head off. As your head lays on the dirt, for just a brief minute
you then realize the Monster that has decapitated you, is a Mutant Badger.
unfortunately, you left nothing for me to use in this sentence.....
Today I went ice skating with my girlfriend
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on July 02, 2010, 05:39:06 PM
unfortunately, you left nothing for me to use in this sentence.....
LMAO!!!
QuoteToday I went ice skating with my girlfriend
Unfortunately, her knuckles drag, so they nearly froze to the pond.
I'm going out tonight for a gourmet dinner.
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on July 02, 2010, 05:39:06 PM
unfortunately, you left nothing for me to use in this sentence.....
Today I went ice skating with my girlfriend
I can't believe I just did that....Lol >:D
Unfortunately the dinner is youuuuuuuuu!!!!
Driving to work this morning, I accidentally T-bones a bus load of Nuns.
Immediately one of the angry Nuns started to choke me then raised her hand........
and Unfortunately, for her...I reached into my pocket and grabbed my trusty swiss army knife and stabbed her in the eye...
Moments later, Father MGee stepped off the bus with a baseball bat in his hand....
Unfortunately, the big Guy upstairs might extend my Purgatory stay as I buzzed the Padre's tower with 98mph heat.
I had a dream that my house was made of chocolate...
unfortunately, it wasnt a dream....you do live in a house of chocolate in Wonka land, and unfortunately, yer an Oompa....
(Wow!! a double unfortunately)
My heart skipped a beat,when I saw her standing across the street...
unfortunately, I soon realized she was a he.
Ed McMahon showed up at my door with a check in hand.
Unfortunately, he wanted to know where the bank was, so he could cash his check...
Paris Hilton called me the other day
Unfortunately she called me sad, lonely little pathetic man after I asked her out on a date....
I have just won a genuine prop from one of the Star Wars movies....
unfortunately, it's Han Solo's jock strap...
I hear eerie voices coming from my fridge...
Unfortunately they keep telling me to eat the cheese....EAT ALL THE CHEESE!...
I have been invited to a celebrity party on a luxury yacht....
unfortunately, it's hosted by Richard Simmons and he's the only one there....
"Come on LongLiveKong...it's time to sweat to the oldies!!"
My dog just started talking to me today
Unfortunately, the guilt got to him and he's confessing to dry humping everything you ate in the last 3 years... (and sometimes it WASN'T 'dry' humping)...
They wanna re-make JAWS with me in it...
Unfortunately, they couldnt rebuild the sharks, so you will be wearing a rubber shark costume instead...
(http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/18132.jpg)
My grandmother commented on how I am such a sweet little boy
Unfortunately, she had just EATEN you!!
I caught lightning bugs last night!!
unfortunately, they are evil little faeries and they damaged all yer monster stuff, cause it was fun....
Father told me if I was a good boy today, he would buy me a pony..
Unfortunately it is a 40 year old Pony, has 3 legs, is blind and was raised in a Chicken coop. Answers to the name Lucky.
I have been selected for a once-in-a-lifetime trip into space by NASA....
unfortunately, it was a new experiment they were conducting,by having you strapped to the outside of the ship....
"*SCREECH* Houston...we have a problem....*SCREECH*"
Today I bagged a huge 18 point buck...
Unfortunately, the ZooKeeper called the feds before I could bolt.
Norman Bates just called
Unfortunately he has discovered that he was adopted and his real mother is my mother, and would like to meet up....
Blood tests have shown that I am immune to every disease known to man....
Unfortunately, you contracted a rare Alien disease parasite that devours you from the inside-out....
While crossing the moors last night, a large beast attacked me, and bit me...
Unfortunately it was a previously unknown species of Were-Cod, and you are now feeling very scaley.
During a recent aftershock to an earthquake, a previously unknown cave was revealled.
Unfortunately, absolutely nothing was discovered in the cave.
My neighbor next door to me baked my family a batch of cookies..........
Quote from: Opera Ghost on July 07, 2010, 10:49:16 AM
Unfortunately it was a previously unknown species of Were-Cod, and you are now feeling very scaley.
"Were-Cod"?? LOL!!! Man, I almost fell off my chair laughing at that visual!!
Quote from: marsattacks666 on July 07, 2010, 01:08:24 PM
Unfortunately, absolutely nothing was discovered in the cave.
My neighbor next door to me baked my family a batch of cookies..........
Unfortunately, when you called your family to share the cookies, they didn't come. Cuz they were IN the cookies.
I just found a 2 carat diamond ring on the sidewalk.
Unfortunately, it wasn't a two carat diamond ring. It was a toy two carrot ring.
Ok....... that was an awful comeback.
My best friend has given me an original copy of Amazing Fantasy 15........
Quote from: marsattacks666 on July 07, 2010, 01:18:37 PM
Unfortunately, it wasn't a two carat diamond ring. It was a toy two carrot ring.
Ok....... that was an awful comeback.
My best friend has given me an original copy of Amazing Fantasy 15........
Unfortunately it was only a cover containing a fan-made copy of Gray's Sports Alamanac
Having heard that a recently discovered cave was found to be empty, I went exploring, and found artifacts beyond a brittle inner wall
Unfortunately, the brittle wall came with a brittle ceiling, and gave away...trapping you inside....
I knew I only had a little air left, so I began searching thru the artifacts, hoping to discover something that could help.....
Unfortunately the only pocket of air I could find was in an Egyptian urn containing a mummified Rat....
I have discovered a cold war bunker buried in my back yard....and can hear movement inside....
Quote from: long live kong on July 08, 2010, 12:21:31 PM
Unfortunately the only pocket of air I could find was in an Egyptian urn containing a mummified Rat....
I have discovered a cold war bunker buried in my back yard....and can hear movement inside....
Unfortunately, when opened, I discovered Margaret Thatcher, Jim Morrison and their love children.
There was however, a secret passage which led into London.
Unfortunately it lead into the grounds of Buckingham Palace and I was met by a rather enthusiastic Royal Gurkha Guard....
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v668/auciker/gurkha.jpg)
I was recently Hypnotised to cure an annoying habit....
Unfortunately, now that I hear the word "Cookie" I begin to cluck like a chicken....
I will never go to a Hypnotist, who works out of the back of his van.
I began clucking at my best friends Unlce's funeral.....
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on July 08, 2010, 02:50:03 PM
I began clucking at my best friends Unlce's funeral.....
Unfortunately,your best friend's uncle was Colonel Sanders, and you were taken forcibly to the nearest KFC where your giblets were covered with 11 secret spices and deep fried.
I just won a gold medal at the X Games.
Unfortunately, you were stripped of your gold medal for cheating, upon close examination of the footage, we can see it was Tony Hawk performing the run, instead of Scatter..
I gotta go fix a gas leak
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on July 08, 2010, 03:16:11 PM
I gotta go fix a gas leak
I just played the best round of golf in my life.
Quote from: Scatter on July 08, 2010, 03:22:29 PM
Unfortunately, blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah
I just played the best round of golf in my life.
ROTFLMAO
Unfortunately, I had a hard time getting it past the windmill
Speaking of which, Tiger just called
unfortunately, it was Tony the Tiger and he was P***ed that you havent been eating his cereal lately..
I'm taking a little trip to Florida, to visit Scatter.... 8j68j68ju
I just met Elvis Presley.
OMG!!!!!! My sides are aching!
Unfortunately he was cramming a PB & Banana sandwich down his pie hole while trying to hide from 'Scilla
Elvis wants help getting "reinstated" in the CIA
Quote from: Scatter on July 08, 2010, 03:36:32 PM
Unfortunately, the airline considers the gerbil in your anus extra baggage, and they charged you another $50.
I just met Elvis Presley.
You really have a deathwish dont you? ggege
Unfortunately the only CIA vacancy for an Elvis impersonator, or better still an actual Elvis is as an undercover rent-boy for Kim Jong IL.
I have been invited to a high school reunion....
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on July 08, 2010, 03:43:09 PM
You really have a deathwish dont you? ggege
This is from the guy who started an entire THREAD bashing me?? :D
Quote from: Scatter on July 08, 2010, 03:50:10 PM
This is from the guy who started an entire THREAD bashing me?? :D
That's OK though. I know you don't hold hard feelings. And I know you don't hold grudges. But that's little comfort to the gerbil, because you sure can hold those butt cheeks together.
I didnt start a thread Bashing you...maybe you should go back and see who started that thread....hmmmm? :o
I just joined in on the fun..... ;D
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on July 08, 2010, 04:26:13 PM
I didnt start a thread Bashing you...maybe you should go back and see who started that thread....hmmmm? :o
I just joined in on the fun..... ;D
My bad........OK, I just made a killing in the stock market.
Unfortunately, it was on the trading floor and 500 people saw it as well as the blood trail you left leading to the broom closet you're hiding in...
I am in the hospital and this blonde nurse with a Russian accent keeps offering to bath me...
Unfortunately, his name is Boris, and he keep's calling you Naughty Natasha.....
I just woke up from a coma, and realized that I'm the last man on the planet.
Unfortunately, I've reached total enlightment, and now understand the fairer sex.
While exploring my new solitary world, I discover an old comic shop full of untouched comics books and magazines!
Unfortunately due to my new understanding of the fairer sex I know to stay away from such places, as any woman worth her salt wouldn't go near a comic-book geek, even if he was the last man on earth. ;)
I found a note outside the comic store that read 'Survivors: meet at the town hall after nightfall'.....
So I walked over to the town hall, and unfortunately, I found several survivors of the war savaged planet,however they were all Zombies
I could run or I could fight, so I did what any smart person would do, I ran like hell......
Unfortunately some wise ass had come up with the idea of sprinting Zombies....
....so I climbed up a tree....
Unfortunately, Zombies can climb too......
So I jumped out of the tree into an open apartment window....
Unfortunately, it belongs to 'Nipples' , aka Clint Howard's character from Little Nicky ... I...IIIII....I Need....I Need....YOU!
I just impressed some babes down the street...
unfortunately, they were giddy and clapping, and laughing....did I mention they were only 12 months old....
I grabbed a chair and smashed it over Nipples, and then ran for the door.....
Unfortunately, it was the bathroom door and you slipped and knocked yourself out on the wet tile. When you awoke, Clint Howard's face was tattoo'd on YOUR face.
I just picked me a winner...
unfortunately, they really turned out to be a loser......
After seeing the tattoo of Nipples on my face, I went totally insane and jumped out of the 3rd story bathroom window....
Unfortunately, it was a temporary tat, so the leap was unnecessary...
I went to a drive thru safari today...
unfortunately, it was at the Kiddie zoo.....
I landed in a garbage pile, so I quickly got up and ran down the street yelling..."Help..I have nipples on my face!"
Unfortunately, I ran past a pack of starving Hyena pups who just looked at me as lunch.
Luckily, I came across an open fire hydrant spewing water everywhere
unfortunately, I fell into a musical trance and began singing and dancing to the song "Singing in the rain"...
After my little musical number, I barricaded myself in the laundrymat, and started to remove my wet clothes....
Unfortunately, your clothing was stolen after drying them, by the Alien wet farmers.
Today I went to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show, for the 200th time.....
unfortunately, They told you no admittance for the 200th time.... ;D
So I grabbed a cardboard box and slipped into it,shielding my nakedness, and snuck out the back door.
Unfortunately, the back door led to four men in black cloaks that shanghaied you.
Then forced you to attend The Jerry Springer show. Yuck!!!!!
As I noticed you being blind-folded and tied up, a man gave me a thousand dollars
to keep quite.........
Quote from: marsattacks666 on July 13, 2010, 03:50:47 PM
Unfortunately, the back door led to four men in black cloaks that shanghaied you.
Then forced you to attend The Jerry Springer show. Yuck!!!!!
As I noticed you being blind-folded and tied up, a man gave me a thousand dollars
to keep quite.........
Unfortunately you could not keep quite....that much money, as an IRS agent was trailing you.
All of a sudden, the buildings shook like an aftershock
unfortunately for the cloaked men, they unleashed the beast from down under, the Tasmanian Terror.....
I heard my chance to escape, so I fell to the ground and started rolling, as fast as I could, I gained speed as I rolled down the hill....
unfortunately, it was right into Devine's butt crack as he lay on the pavement trying to snort some dog poop for a new John Water's film....
I just saw Despicable Me...
Unfortunately, I wasnt talking about the movie, I was looking in the mirror.....
As I pulled and pried my face from Devine's bum, I thought to myself..."There's no way this day could get worse..."
Unfortunately, a heat storm rolled in, and I was struck by lightning.
I saw my life flashback before my eyes
Unfortunately, you were plummeting to your DEATH, as a result of Skydiving without
a parachute, that your instuctor forgot to pack. SMACK!!!!!!!
I discovered a new breed of ANT that has become increasingly larger. Due to
their co-evolution with humans and other
life forms..............................................
no wait a minute! I'm looking thru my magnifying glass, unfortunately.
As I lay there in the street, burnt to a crisp, and hear the footsteps of the zombies approaching, I can only hope for a quick painless death...
Unfortunately these Zombies save the brains for last, and always start with the feet....
As the Zombies get nearer, my life begins to flash before my eyes....
Unfortunately, you are the Fly... and the fly part of you is seeing it's life before it's eyes..... there's a larval stage and a lot of poop eating to see..... then the Zombies eat you feet first. Enjoy.
I just went swimming...
Unfortunately...........as you were swimming, you suddenly realized the lake you are in
has deadly water Moccasins. Ouch!
Flying in from California on a 747, all of a sudden from the sky a U.F.O...................
Unfortunately, it saw you and *ZZZZZzzRRRRRrrrr..........ZZZZZZAAAAAAPPPPP*....
As the Zombies begin eating my feet, I reach into my pocket and pull out my trustyworthy swiss army knife.
Unfotunately, unlike the Swiss Government, it did not set YOU free, from your captors
It turns out, Zombies don't like dead animal flesh, and I was able to skidaddle over to a motorscooter
Unfortunately, the scooter was leaking gas, and a line was forming across the street, where I saw the man in black toss a match.
I tossed a match down on gasoline fuse...
unfortunately, a gust of wind blew some of the gas back at me, and I went up in flames,before I could toss the match.
Rob Zombie and Kerry King came over to the house today for a visit
Unfortunately, they totally trashed your place. Destroyed everything valuable
or of value to you. Then when you tried to use force against 'em, Kerry did an
amazing shread guitar solo.......and your head emploded. BOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!! >:D
Wow, now I'm exhausted!!!
As I notice K.KING and R.Zombie destroying Dr.Teufel Geist digs. I immediately
rush in to help and........................
unfortunately, you trip over my now lifeless body lying on the ground, and fall head first into my replica guillotine..
Rob smiles evilly and grabs the katana off my wall to cut the guillotine rope lever....
Unfortunately......with my Evil Powers, I caught Rob Z. and the guillotine on fire.
Rob and the guillotine burnt to a crisp >:D
...........while riding in hearse on my way to Disney Land.....
....I should have been excited, having always wanted to visit Disney Land. Unfortunately I was riding the hearse dead, in my coffin.
I have invented a device that can record and replay dreams....
Unfortunately..... all the recorded dreams are really Nightmares!!!! >:D
From the depths of HELL and the blackest of hate, a hand from below reached
out to me............................
Unfortunately, it was just your wife's divorce attorney going for your wallet.
I just discovered an uncharted island in the Pacific.
Unfortunately it was inhabited by very hungry Cannibals.....Yum,yum!!!!
Upon Scatters discovery of the Pacific island, and while being eaten.....ALIVE!
Unfortunately, he always just dreaming (He slipped on banana peel while watering the backpool,and became unconcious).
I feel cool water splashing on my face...
Unfortunately, THAT isn't cold water! Haaaaaaa!!!
Today Alice Cooper decided to use my drum talents for his upcoming show on the
Gruesome Twosome Tour..............
Unfortunately, he lost yer contract rights in a poker game to Circus Bob last night, and now you have to dress in a ape costume and beat yer bongos.
I 'm in a good mood right now, since I won the $Lotto$
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on August 14, 2010, 10:38:36 PM
Unfortunately, he lost yer contract rights in a poker game to Circus Bob last night, and now you have to dress in a ape costume and beat yer bongos.
I 'm in a good mood right now, since I won the $Lotto$
Unfortunately, in todays mail was a notice from the IRS to inform you of an Audit for the past 7 years
Quote from: Opera Ghost on August 16, 2010, 10:48:43 AM
Unfortunately, in todays mail was a notice from the IRS to inform you of an Audit for the past 7 years
Unfortunately, you did not leave me a sentance to work with, so you have indeed pulled a DWORB!!
I saw Bigfoot swimming in the backyard pool...
Quote from: Dr.Teufel Geist on August 16, 2010, 11:01:42 PM
Unfortunately, you did not leave me a sentance to work with, so you have indeed pulled a DWORB!!
I saw that and went back and fixed it, but did not save it correctly!
I saw Bigfoot swimming in the backyard pool...
Unfortunately, he left a ginormous hairball.
Luckily the pool boy just arrived
Unfortunately, he wants you to STAR in a all male porno with him.....
.....boop, boop e-doop!!!
My interest in finding the right skull, led to a police/ F.B.I. chase. But, I eluded
the police........
Unfortunately, I am just playing Grand Theft Auto6:serial killer edition...while siting in my parent's basement,where I actually happen to live..
I just stepped into a giant mess of strawberry jelly...
Unfortunately that wasn't jelly. It was the BLOB!!!!
I really enjoy watching old Horror movie, eating pizza,(while sitting in my parent's basement).
All of a sudden!!!! I was greeted by a lovely Redhead......
unfortunately, it was Willie Nelson and he was being chased by little green men from Mars..
After singing "On the road again" and taking that last puff....I stepped out of my trailer.
Unfortunately, only to walk into a Alien spaceship, and perform the most
brutal experiments on you!!!
Time to make the donuts......that's right!
Unfortunately,the dough was really an alien parasite that lept upon yer face,and sucked yer brain out thru yer nose...
I heard stranges voices coming from the closet...
Unfortunately, it wasn't anything threatening in your closet.
Only your vintage speak-n-say/spell toy.
Today I won five millions dollars and a lap dance..........
Unfortunately the lap dance is from Paris Hilton, and she's charging 5 million dollars and 45 bucks....
I bumped into my old biology teacher today....
Unfortunately, He used you for unspeakable, depraved experiments.
once in a while, I like to watch the sun rise..............
Unfortuntely, you live on the dark side of the moon.
I saw Bigfoot in my backyard
unfortunately, on a double check..it was only my Mother in-law
I got chased by several headhunters
Unfortunately they only wanted my wallet.
Today is the day I pick up my cheque for One Million dollars..................
Unfortunately you lost the cheque...................forever!!! >:D
My Wife finally found on eBAY a REMCO Creature from the Black Lagoon...
Unfortunately they were my daughter's block collection.
Unfortunately, Dr.Madd forgot to post a sentence, for me to play off of. :P
I was just named 'Man of the Year'
Unfortunately, it was an honor bestowed on me by "Psychopath Monthly".
I just got a subscription to "Psychopath Monthly".
Unfortunately it was addressed to the Lady of the House
I just heard from an old Girlfriend
Unfortunately, the Lady of the House, also heard from her!
I just cleaned out my garage...
unfortunately, I cant think of anything to say...
I just mailed a letter to Santa
Unfortunately I didn't know the Ice road truckers were in the Himalayas.
I didn't know the rules to this game.
unfortunately, that excuse has been used before, by that fella locked in the dungeon.... u6juu
I have been elected as the new Emperor of China
Unfortunately the communists shoot emperors.
Quote from: Dr. Madd on December 03, 2010, 11:33:13 AM
Unfortunately the communists shoot emperors.
and.....(continue.)
Unfortunately, Dr. Madd forgot - AGAIN ;D!
Dr. Madd has a chance to redeem himself, again :)...
Unfortunately, Madd was eaten by his latest claymation creation, so no redemption is forthcoming.
I just planted an entire crop of venus flytraps.
Unfortunately, the soil I planted them in was from the same area that the giant, mutated ants in "Them!" came from.
I climbed a tree today...
Unfortunately, a Tiger was waitin' for you below..Yummmmm!
Yesterday cannibals decided to invaded my private island and attack my family.
Acting quick, I pulled out my 9mm and began shooting!!!
Quote from: Unknown Primate on December 03, 2010, 04:33:11 PM
I climbed a tree today...
Unfortunately, it was my Christmas tree, and I'm presently being violated by the uppermost point of the electric star on top.
I just watched the best movie I've ever seen!
Quote from: marsattacks666 on December 03, 2010, 04:36:30 PM
Acting quick, I pulled out my 9mm and began shooting!!!
Unfortunately, all I heard was "click-click-click-click, etc! "
Quote from: Scatter on December 03, 2010, 04:36:57 PM
I just watched the best movie I've ever seen!
Unfortunately, it was from inside a plane that was about to crash!
I just tried on some new underwear...
Unfortunately, they're bikini briefs and you look like a pear with a rubber band around it.
I just learned to waterski.
Unfortunately, I'm being towed by Godzilla!
I just signed up for Dancing With The Stars...
Unfortunately, I'm dancing with Roseann Barr
I just looked out the windowof my virtual office to see a very hot and attractive woman walk by
Unfortunately, she was 50 feet tall, reached through the window and flipped my nose with her finger!
I asked her to go have coffee with me anyway... and she said, "Ok"...
unfortunately, you were the victim of her jealous 50' boyfriend,who answers by the name of Bobzilla..
I just dug up some rare valuable coins
Unfortunately, they were buried next to the Titanic...............and you're out of oxygen.
My wife just got a boob job.
unfortunately, she divorced you and married Hugh Hefner, and is starring in Ashton Kutcher's new movie " Triple D 3D"
I just landed the lead part in a new 3D movie :D
Unfortunately, it's Pigs in Space in 3D.
Popeye and Olive Oil just learned today they are having a child......
unfortunately, the baby resembles Bluto and Whimpy...... (now that's a scary baby)
Today I was inducted in the Rock N Roll hall of fame
unfortunately, It was an error. Denied! >:D
I wrote the most perfect song in the last twenty years
Unfortunately, it's going to take another 20 years to write the perfect music to go along with the perfect song...
Dracula and the Wolfman are coming over to play Bridge
Unfortunately when Wolfie played "spades" Drac said "no thanks, I always bring my own" ::)
I heard Igor was giving up grave robbing...they said
Unfortunately he's taken up the fine art of bloody vengeance.
Our band just hired a new lead singer....
Unfortunately, it's William Hung.
William Hung - Shake Your Bonbon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_YhhQuAYKQ#)
I recently retired to a private island
Unfortunately, it turned out to be Monster Island, although I guess that would actually be pretty cool.
I just inherited an ancient gothic castle...
Unfortunately it's full of ancient Goths
I've finally learned to dance just like the "old man"....
Unfortunately, the 'old man" died dancing-at the end of a rope!
I just saw good ole' Santy Claus!
Unfortunately he wasn't wearing any pants and was stealing your light-up reindeer off your front lawn.
I just found out what my wife is getting me for Christmas...
unfortunately, its life insurance and she's the recipient.
I just did a bust of Adolf Hitler for my rogue's gallery...
....unfortunately I used Orville Reddenbacher as the model
Yesterday I tried to de-claw the cat.....
unfortunately, I'm a lion tamer.
A person got in trouble for having an affair with their teacher....
....unfortunately they were home schooled (yikes!!!!)
The other day I met a guy who was stocking his survival shelter for 2012....
Unfortunately, t he Mayans were off by a year.
I went to a celebrity roast..
....unfortunately they were just making fun of the celebrity
I taught my dog a new trick yesterday....
Unfortunately, he keeps "burping up" the mailman, today!
I started building a snowman today...
....unfortunately the mailman defrosted before I could finish and got away
Last week I hired a painter to do my living room...
unfortunately it was that guy that paints with elephant dung.
I made a Golem.
....unfortunately, rather than listen to me he wiped the letter off his own forehead
Last week I actually found the end of the rainbow....
unfortunately, the IRS found it first and took 50 % of it before I arrived.
I went looking for a suit of armor.
....unfortunately all I could find was a suit made of Armour hot dogs
I found a great way to clear the snow from my driveway in less than ten seconds!
Unfortunately, the snow was really a Demon in the form of snow, and PRESTO, you are now
SNOW!
My Wife has bought me the most wonderful Christmas gift...............
...unfortunately I already had an abnormal brain!
I put a new bird feeder in my back yard...
Unfortunately, The Giant Claw swooped down and ate the whole damn thing!
I've tried really hard to be a good boy (or girl, for you female types) this year...
...unfortunately some people don't think locking Justin Bieber in a dungeon is a good thing!
I set a new world record the other day.....
unfortunately, it was surpassed by a 95 year old chimpanzee.....
I caught mommy kissing Santa Claus
Unfortunately, It's easter.
We were watching an episode of Cops...
....unfortunately it was a live episode and we were the subject
I taught my parrot to speak....
Quote from: Pauspy on December 26, 2010, 12:28:22 PM
....unfortunately it was a live episode and we were the subject
I taught my parrot to speak....
Unfortunately, it can now tell you what it thinks of you.
I'm snow bound with my wife and 2 daughters...
Unfortunately I drew the short straw and we are now preparing to eat my feet....
The whole family are coming round for new years eve....
Unfortunately My bloodline is cursed so that dead family members come back New Years eve to collect the living.
I got a new wok.
Unfortunately, it wokked away....
I received a strange disturbing call from George Lucas
....unfortunately he offered me the lead in "A Jar-Jar Binks Christmas"
I finally learned how to herd cats.....
Unfortunately, it involves rubbing liver on your arse and running like hell.
I going to be on "Jeopardy".
....unfortunately it's giving Alex Trebeck his foot massages
I discovered an easy way to cook a gourmet meal....
Unfortunately, it was a tongue and eyeball soup recipe from Gourmet Chef Dimorte...
We are close to finishing the book.
....unfortunately we were reading the dictionary.
I installed a new water heater in my house....
Unfortunately its not my water heater.
I made a killer robot.
...unfortunately after he finished dancing he was taken back to prison. (he did the "robot"...get it? :D)
I finally taught my elephant to fetch....
Unfortunately, he's also taken up humping my leg.
I just learned to waterski.......
unfortunately I live on the magma planet from Revenge of the Sith.
Santa Claus came to visit me.
...unfortunately it was to take his gifts back again.
I just got a membership to a gym....
Unfortunately, the guy who it belonged to wanted it and his wallet back.
I made a tiki
....unfortunately I also wear a matching sarong
I finally found proof that UFO's are real....
...unfortunately you also found out rather directly that all that hulabaloo about anal probing is CORRECTAMUNDO!
I am living a real life Twilight Zone episode...
Unfortunately it is actually living me.
I got a gas turbine body on Monster lab
....unfortunately that's what you get when you eat too may radishes.
Last year I took up mountain climbing...
....unfortunately your wife is a hoarder and your 'mountain climbing' is really just you going from kitchen to bedroom over laundry and garbage....
...someone told me I look like a movie star today...
Unfortunately, They meant Rondo Hatton.
I was on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives..
....unfortunately I was the "dive".
I love recycling.....
Unfortunately, my hand was caught in the recycling machine. Ouch!!!
Today, I found my thrill on............................
Blueberry hill. Unfortunately, I found no thrill or thrills.
As I search for the Holy Grail of collectibles toys.............................
....I unfortunately find out the most collectable toy in the world is a troll doll
Yesterday I went to a restaurant for the first time in months....
.... I unfortunately found a fly in my soup.
Today I went to my closet only to find that ...
.......................unfortunately my collectors coins turned to coal. My newest girlfriend tells me she is wealthy........
....unfortunately she's also a Kardashian
My last doctor told me I was in perfect health.....
.... unfortunately for someone who is 110 years old.
I returned home this evening, only to find that my cat had ...
..finally caught that mouse. Unfortunately, he used hand grenades to do it.
My cooking finally won a major award...
Quote from: Pauspy on September 08, 2011, 11:10:06 AM
My cooking finally won a major award...
Unfortunately, it was from ALPO.
I just found a crisp new $100 bill on the roadside!
Unfortunately Ben Franklin was pictured with an afro.
I finally taught my dog to sit...
Unfortunately I have a lisp....
I apperared on a talent show today....
Quote from: long live kong on September 10, 2011, 03:46:11 PM
Unfortunately I have a lisp....
OK dammit...........THAT was funny Ben!! ;D ;D
Quote from: long live kong on September 10, 2011, 03:46:11 PM
Unfortunately I have a lisp....
I apperared on a talent show today....
Unfortunately.....my trained monkey took a nice health _ _ _ _, and threw it on of the judges.
Underneath my house, I found the most amazing discovery........
.. of a big bag of money, unfortunately, it was confederate bills and counterfeit ones at that.
Last night, my cat racing in the door ....
....executed a perfect 90 degree turn. Unfortunately it was into a wall.
I finally learned to ice-skate backwards.....
Unfortunately....for you....didn't see the tree behind you! ouch!
Today is the final day to get tickets for Ghoultrons last show.......