Dracula vs. Coffin Joe Roast off

[Gary D Macabre]

 First off this is just like a celebrity Roast.  This is a fun game and participants should not take this seriously (myself included).   OK here is how this will work.

1.  Many of us are fans of both characters, so nobody needs to choose sides, you may roast both characters if you like. 

2.  You post one positive OR one negative about either character.  You may however post one positive AND one negative in the same post if one point is in direct contrast to the other.  (eg.'  X wears___, while Y wears____.)

3.  There is NO discussion or debate about the post, the one you just made or any other one. 

4.  All incarnations of the characters are "in bounds"

5.  Do not post twice in a row, allow another person to post after you.

[Gary D Macabre]

I'll start


Negative:

Coffin Joe proclaims himself to be the ultimate human being, but is short and has a uni-brow.

[raycastile]

Dracula claims to have commanded armies, yet he lacks the strategery to wear an armor vest when he sleeps and lock his coffin from the inside.

[Gary D Macabre]

Dracula commands all creatures of the night, Coffin Joe commands the assmen
I have this picture taking up space in my album I best get my use of it

[Nicole]

Dracula needs to drink blood to survive. He becomes weaker, the longer he goes without it.

[Gary D Macabre]

Coffin Joe only had two wives, and when dead they simply decayed.  Dracula had three wives and Dead they were all still hotties.

[SpankRamen]

For Dracula, garlic means certain death. For Zé, garlic can be used as seasoning for the meat he eats on Holy Friday!

[monsterphile]

Ebay searches--

Dracula: 1667 matches
Coffin Joe (who?): 3

[SpankRamen]

If Dracula lost his fangs, his bloodsucking days would be over. If Zé broke a nail, he has 9 more to gouge people's eyes out with.

[monsterphile]

Dracula hangs out with the Frankenstein Monster and the Wolf Man.

Coffin Joe hangs out with Madge the manicurist

[SpankRamen]

Zé makes his living as a mortician.

Dracula moonlights on Sesame Street.

[Gary D Macabre]

No girl that Dracula ever put the moves on rejected him and then hung herself.

[SpankRamen]

NO girl ever skipped her brother's funeral to have sex with Dracula, even though Dracula was the murderer.

[raycastile]

Dracula cowers in fear at the sight of the cross.  Coffin Joe grabs the crucifix and uses it to stab the priest.

[Nicole]

Dracula can't enter his victim's house unless he's invited. Coffin Joe invites himself in.