My wife thinks I have a problem. We've know each other since 8th grade, and after 28 year of marriage, you would think that she would come around to share in my obsession. But no! If it not some lifetime or Hallmark channel movie about someone dyeing of some terrible disease, or if it's not written by Nicholas Sparks then she doesn't want to invest the time.
It not like I asked her to take-up Square-dancing or Smoking Crack! (No offence to any Square-dancers or Crackheads out there)
Don't misunderstand, We are soul mates for life and I could never love anyone as much as I do her. But she is missing out on this important aspect of my life. She doesn't even get my "Snappy Come-backs". She came out to my Wood-Shop at 10:00 pm to tell she was going to bed. She sees me watching "Werewolf of London" and sayes
"WHAT YOUR WATCHING WOLFMAN AGAIN?"
(I just let the mis-identification of the movie go) But then she says
"I THINK YOU MUST BE CRAZY"
to which I retort.....
"CRAZY AM I, WE'LL SEE WHETHER IM CRAZY OR NOT"
Obvious response. Correct?
She just rolled her eyes and said
"GOOD-NIGHT, LOVE YA, DONT FORGET TO LOCK-UP."
But on the other-side she's never told me to 'Grow-up' or don't get our kids hooked on these old movies. (FYI, my sons are though they don't like to admit it). I do remember once, not too long ago my wife saying.....
"If you buy one more Monster Statue or Monster Mask, Im gonna Kick you till your dead"
But I don't really think she meant it....... Ummm..... I'll get back to ya on that one, right after my next E-bay purchase.
So am I the only Member of the Army who has to deal with this type of unreasonable behavior from their spouse's. If I'm not perhaps we could start a support group.
Fear not, it is a rare spouse that shares the full frenzy that we work ourselves into when dealing with the monsters. My wife likes to watch all sorts of movies, horror and SciFi included, but pretty much only something with a lot of action. She likes to watch those depressing movies on Lifetime too.
She doesn't collect monsters, but she does collect other stuff, especially Disney. Oh sure, she'll shake her head from time to time when she pokes her head into my monster room, but as a collector herself, I think she "gets it" on some level.
C'est la vie...
Rob
Hey!
Your wife is the same as my hubby! He likes those Lifetime movies, too! I hate those. Somebody always gets killed or there's a plot against them, or their children get kidnapped, or worse. He doesn't share my hobbies either. At first he didn't understand, now at least he's tolerant. I don't have a workshop, so whatever work I do is in the kitchen or the basement. If I use spray paint I alway spray it on the top of the deep freeze in the basement. I always use newspaper but the over spray gets it. My son likes to work with his hands too and he contributes to the colors on the freezer. He likes the work I do, but he doesn't like the mess it involves. Well, we're pretty much in the same boat but in reverse! I'm the collector/hobbiest, hubby is the Lifetime movie watcher!
My wife has a new obsession.... game shows. And reruns of them at that.
I can't share in her obsession, and don't expect her to share in mine. I think "how utterly insipid" when I see them, but figure she thinks the same way about my old monster movies, so... 8)
I guess I'm pretty lucky, Karen shares my love for monster movies, but I still have to watch how much I spend on my collecting. Tough situation, good luck with this.
"If you buy one more Monster Statue or Monster Mask, Im gonna Kick you till your dead"
[/quote]
Oh, that is funny, only because I can relate to it!
My wife sometimes acts as if I'm the only person on earth who likes this stuff. And she absolutely will NOT sit still for any kind of genre film. I have my own plasma set in my studio, where all my stuff is. The rest of the house is her territory. Our house was built in 1939 and I truly think that some of my classic posters would look amazing in our living room, but there is NO WAY that's ever gonna happen! Alas.
I was able to put things in perspective a few months ago with a good "come back". After a stressful day at work I settled down with a favorite film. At some point I heard her at my studio door saying something like: "You're watching THAT again? What's wrong with you?". I looked over and casually quipped: "It's comfort food". THAT she understood.
Both of my Ex-Wives used to say the same things, now I watch whatever, whenever , and don't have to sneak monster models in the house!
QuoteShe came out to my Wood-Shop at 10:00 pm to tell she was going to bed.
I think you missed a signal there, dadabigalow. ;) Good luck and we're here for you!
One of the nice things about being divorced is that I don't have to listen to that sorta crap anymore. I wear what I want, eat what I want, and watch what I want :)
George
I did notice that both of your wives knew that you had watched the movie before, so there is hope.
I've only had one girlfriend that was a "fan" in the sense of the word that I am, & another that had a slight partiality to monsters & imagi-movies. Unfortunately these relationships didn't have much else going for them.
My current ladyfriend of a year & 1/2 doesn't get it. She enjoys tame, predictable dramas & such. She won't even watch A&C Meet Frankenstein, or any harmless B&W classic with me. I don't try to change, or force anything on her either. At 50+ yrs old , she's never even seen JAWS. I thought everyone's seen JAWS! Heck, my mother's even watched it on TV once.
I have an 11" X 17" very cool House of Dark Shadows movie poster in my spare bedroom. To my girlfriend, it's a gruesome photo of "a girl w/a stake thru her heart".
We have other things in common, but it bothers me too that she won't give something "monster" even a look. So I know what you're going thru.
I don't know how much to read into a "problem" like this, if I should even consider it a problem. We've recently began discussing marriage or living together. I think personal space could be a big concern here. I welcome any comments or advice.
To her credit, she's never tried to change me, or outwardly critisized me, but "not getting" something I enjoy so much to the point of not even giving a silly movie a glance is almost as bad. Perhaps I'm too sensitive. I took some heat growing up for liking monsters & things unusual (to me it was/is just plain fun), & I haven't forgotten it. Soooo, maybe a support group would be nice.
Quote from: ChattyLMS on July 08, 2009, 09:45:15 AM
Hey!
Your wife is the same as my hubby! He likes those Lifetime movies, too!
EGAD ;)
My wife has always been very supportive of my love of monsters. Although she herself prefers the more modern stuff (She's hooked on those "8 films to die for" that come out every year, as well as stuff like The Ruins and Quarantine)...
I can always count on some sort of Monster/Horror/Sci-Fi/Superhero type gift on Christmas, Birthdays, and Father's Day. ;D
Basically, you gotta have your own space (both physically and conceptually).
Ha!
My old lady has to listen to lots of Zappa-
(& she's not a happy camper) :P
She'll come around~
My Wife is 100% supportive of all my oddball interests due largely to the fact that I don't care for professional sports.
QuoteSoooo, maybe a support group would be nice.
How about a second TV and DVD player?
I'm reminded of the old adage, "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink."
Maybe you could find something she likes that you could meet her halfway on. If you show her you're making an effort to learn more about one of her interests, I would think she would, in turn, try to learn more about something you like.
And if that doesn't work, well... you'll just have to try to sneak some monster-related movies and reading material into her stuff wherever you can and hope for the best.
Quote from: ChattyLMS on July 08, 2009, 04:00:57 PM
How about a second TV and DVD player?
If we decide to cohabitate, & it's been discussed, we'll probably do just that. I don't require her to like everything I do, I'm just disapointed that she can't even remotely enjoy a monster flick occassionally.
Thanks for the comment!
My wife is a BIG Buffy fan and reads alot of the supernatural erotica stuff. Vampires , werewolves , shapeshifters etc. So she "gets" some of it. She usually watches stuff with me if it interests her. We just watched Underworld Rise of the Lycans and she enjoyed it more than I did. As long as it's not a gore fest like Land of the Dead or Hills Have Eyes remakes she usually watches. HOWEVER,it will be a cold day in hell before I can get her to watch any of the classics or 50's B stuff. " C'mon hon. Giant ants, how cool is that?" Nope,she don't get that.
She does think alot of my props and masks are pretty cool and even helped me with a paint scheme on my first painted mask.
We live in a smallish 1050 sq foot house. I get 200 for my monster stuff and other collectibles the upstairs hallway for my crime stuff. The rest of the house is hers.
I hear you Lester, my wife is similar. She loves shows like True Blood, Underworld, Twilight, LOTR, Harry Potter to other things like Dancing with the Stars etc.
But hell would freeze over before she sat through Bela in Dracula or any other classic pre 1980 horror movie. She always makes fun of this and that and I usually follow suit and it becomes a playful back and forth. She loves to call my obsession with Horror Hosts "your Svengoolie nonsense TV". Man, I love her!
At the end of the day, its all love and we respect each other's interests and thankfully we have 2 TV's! LOL!
Quote from: LundyAfterMidnight on July 08, 2009, 02:00:35 PM
My current ladyfriend of a year & 1/2 doesn't get it. She enjoys tame, predictable dramas & such. She won't even watch A&C Meet Frankenstein, or any harmless B&W classic with me. I don't try to change, or force anything on her either. At 50+ yrs old , she's never even seen JAWS. I thought everyone's seen JAWS! Heck, my mother's even watched it on TV once.
I have an 11" X 17" very cool House of Dark Shadows movie poster in my spare bedroom. To my girlfriend, it's a gruesome photo of "a girl w/a stake thru her heart".
Get another ladyfriend. ;)
Seriously though, everyone needs to decide for themselves how much 'in common' is enough. Personally I don't feel a terribly strong need for my wonderful woman to dig all the stuff I dig, but she digs most of it enough to put up with me, and sometimes fans the flames.
Others feel a need to have their partners really involved in their deepest passions, and that's fine too, but if that
is the case for somebody and they're not getting that from their partner... well, get another partner.
Honestly, life is WAY too frappin' short and difficult to add to your misery by remaining tied to someone who does not let you be you, makes you feel inferior/immature, or can't at least appreciate that YOU have this passion. If the person who is supposed to love, honor, cherish, obey, disobey, all the good stuff, doesn't mind that their disregard for your passions makes you feel bad about yourself? LEAVE THEM. Life is too short.
I feel very lucky that for 15 years now, I've been with a remarkable woman who is brutally honest about not liking some of the things I like, but never puts me down for it or makes me think SHE thinks I'm beneath her or anyone else, and allows me to be just as brutally honest with her without any hurt feelings. I mean, yesterday for my birthday she gave me a huge box full of hard foam skulls with which to build more Hallowe'en figures. Need I say more?
If someone is wrong for you (not referring to anyone in particular, just a general 'you'), stop trying to fix it.
Find someone else.
Mike C.
Not only does my wife complain about the time and money spent on monsters - she also complains about the time spent operating and enjoying this forum! You see, I get it at both ends. It's not just the movies and the toys anymore, it's the computer time too. What's a General to do? :-\
Which leads me to wonder - how many lonely spouses hate the UMA? There's been a marriage as a result of the UMA (Max and Jane met here), but I have to wonder if the UMA could be responsible for a divorce or two as well? :(
I defer all marital member complaints to my lawyer. ;)
Yup, Im in by myself here as well. All I get is "your watching that movie again" or my favorite is "I cant fall asleep with all that screaming". I guess I kind of like it this way. I could not afford to have us both collecting monster movies and toys. I also know the sheer horror of having to endoor one of those Halmark or Lifetime flicks. I just sit there and shiver and chant "its only a movie" over and over to myself.
Quote from: fmofmpls on July 09, 2009, 07:21:07 AM
Not only does my wife complain about the time and money spent on monsters -
Terry,
Just remember whose wife let you buy that old 5 ft. tall Creature figure several years ago. Deep down, she's an enabler.
Rob
Quote from: Type3Toys on July 09, 2009, 08:11:18 AM
"I cant fall asleep with all that screaming".
This thread if full of great quotes. ;D
QuoteIt's not just the movies and the toys anymore, it's the computer time too.
My hubby doesn't share my hobbies and the first convention I went to he thought I was out of my mind. He has for the most part come to terms with it. Now to comment on the comment. I'm the editor of the Newsletter of the doll club I belong to, and he even helps me with the Newsletter. That's very nice. However there's a price for that. I have to read many of his reports or letters he writes. He's an engineer so there are a lot of reports. The reports are not so bad because that's our bread and butter. But, an email of two lines to a friend or relative, that ridiculous! I'm also a thesaurus and also a dictionary.
My wife sees me on the comp. "Whatya lookin at" Me " Monster stuff. Later same question. Me "Monster board" Later same question. Me " Monster masks"
Now when she asks that question I just say" Monster Sh%$. You should know that by now".
I get the side eye fairly regularly from the lovely Mrs Scatter for all the computer time, but she loves scary movies and monster/Hollywood/classic TV stuff, which we collect.
This last season she even started watching the Steelers with me, and bought me a new jersey.
I love her.
My "Mrs." is extremely tolerant, for which I am eternally grateful. It's as though she figured out that some guys hunt, some guys fish, some guys are sports fanatics. Some guys' hobbies are frequenting Gentleman's Clubs or downloading pornography. (My wife's favorite cousin lost a husband to that last one.) So why shouldn't Frankenstein be a hobby?
But I've given up trying to have her join me in my monster obsession. Thankfully, separate hobbies aren't necessarily a relationship killer. I don't criticize her flower pots on the deck and she ignores my ever-growing DVD collection.
The biggest problem I have is finding the time to watch my movies when she isn't around. (It's costing me a lot of late-night sleep.)
Mrs Depressedlarry has her stuff, I have mine. They overlap some. We met a weekly BLUES BROTHERS Late Show in the early 80s (a la ROCKY HORROR). We went there for 10 months of Friday nights, me in Elwood clobber.
Our mutual appreciation is compatible even if we aren't into each other's specifics right now. We overlapped more 25 years ago, but you change. But the compatibility remains, and things evolve back-and-forth. I collect UMs, DC and Marvel and some Terminator, Alien, Predator, Robocop, Godzilla, Trek. The pecking order changes over the years. Right now, UMs are back on top. I'm kinda happy for that because (i) that's where it all started for me and (ii) I'm much deeper than ever into what is essentially a very limited pool of material, than I have ever been into stuff that is far more expansive (e.g. Trek). [Thanks UMA!]
Meanwhile, my wife has gone from Star Wars to Harry Potter ... and now she is into parrots. This too shall pass, even if the parrots don't.
I have our house somewhat, ehh, cluttered with toys while she has it full of bird feathers, seed casings and stuff. So at least I now have some comeback about mess.
Anyway my point (yes there is one ..) is that I have mates whose wives don't get it at all. They consider their hubbies immature. One is so desperate to get others on-side about this that she even tries to bond with me about it in front of him, when my place of business and I have probably been her husband's biggest supplier of the stuff (yes, I've been likened to a pusher and a pimp at times, all very jovially of course).
This man is an awesome provider, works super-hard in a very exclusive technical job for a major corporation, travels, brings home tons of bacon, huge house, very industrious on weekends and nights, very capable with all matters of home improvement, builds, renovates, outfits, ought to be a wife's dream .... everything I'm not, in fact ... yet he gets bitched about endlessly because in this huge house, where there is plenty of room and all the cards were on the table from the get-go, before the house was even built .... he has a toy den, full of stuff, and a basement store-room for stuff not yet opened.
They love each other, but it gets acrimonious at times, and I have to wonder.
This is not to single out the wives for scorn; this is just the example I have. I call it 'false maturity syndrome'. Usually it is when one partner thinks they are more mature than the other and cannot distinguish between 'childish' and 'childlike'.
I'm proud to call myself 'childlike'. But when I see what some of the people who think me 'childish' do to other people every day .... :-[ >:( ..well, it makes the blood to boil and the underpants to fall down around the ankles.
You all know that I also collect dolls. I found out that my hubby is really starting to get tolerant of my hobbies. One day we were going somewhere and there was a doll lying by the side of the road. Obviously some little girl's dear little dolly accidently went out the window. I asked my hubby if he would mind to turn around so I could get it. And he turned the car around and I picked up the doll. And he didn't roll his eyes or think that I was weird. He was even amused when you press the doll's tummy that she laughs. He was probably glad that I found it and didn't have to spend any money. I was shocked!
MY wife is highly supportive. She loves my monsters. In fact she has almost all of the same interests I do. It's kinda strange. Her favorite horror film is the "Wicker Man"-- it's one the ways we figured out we're kindred souls.
She had even seen all of "The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue" before we even met, and we have been together since we were both 20, so that is impressive. Years later when pressed on this issue, she revealed she had watched it while living in England for a summer back in the early 90s. That meant she watched it when it was still technically labeled a "Video Nasty." Naturally, my esteem for her grew immeasurably. And yet she also loves the Masterpiece Theater Classics, and once a week, we work our way through some forgotten piece of BBC video (most recently, Frank Finlay's performance in the exceptional Dennis Potter production of "Casanova"). You see, she is an English teacher by trade, and it's like I have brought the "hot librarian" of my youth home, brought her up to my treehouse and made her read all my issues of Famous Monsters-- and she didn't disapprove.
She cares about my monster friends deeply, and if ever she feels I am devoting too much time to work, she makes sure I get in touch with them. I have grown quite close to some of the friends I have made in monster collecting over the years--- and most of that attachment has been accomplished through Nancy's intervention ad insistence. I fear that if it were up to me, I would sulk in a dark room, far from the madding crowd. I think she likes how my monster community draws me out of my shell, keeps me from brooding too much.
She is very astute in this regard-- I think she realizes it's far easier to exert influence in one's sphere if you show an interest and an aptitude for it rather than merely disapproval. I am far more likely to listen to her with regard to my monster collecting because of the fact she is so much a part of it. Thus, she can prevent me from doing unreasonable things ("No Matt, you can't put in a bid higher than $1300 for that Frankenstein bank-- it is senseless." "But Nancy-- when am I gonna see it again??!!" "You've been on Ebay ten years and you have seen it twice-- by my count that makes at least 10 more times before you die.")
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
Beast witches,
Matt
Here's Sissy playing my "Mr Hyde" game with me. If that's not love, I don't know what is.
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3417/3591871992_ca4ddc6c37.jpg?v=1244016604)
It's so refreshing to hear all the beautiful things being said about the significant others in this thread rather than the usual griping. I'm going to go and kiss my wife passionately right now, spurred by this outpouring of mate affection.
If I'm not back in an hour..........think dirty thoughts.
Quote from: BaronLatos35 on July 08, 2009, 07:35:36 PM
I hear you Lester, my wife is similar. She loves shows like True Blood, Underworld, Twilight, LOTR, Harry Potter to other things like Dancing with the Stars etc.
But hell would freeze over before she sat through Bela in Dracula or any other classic pre 1980 horror movie. She always makes fun of this and that and I usually follow suit and it becomes a playful back and forth. She loves to call my obsession with Horror Hosts "your Svengoolie nonsense TV". Man, I love her!
At the end of the day, its all love and we respect each other's interests and thankfully we have 2 TV's! LOL!
Yeah my wife doesn't get My Svengoolie nonsense TV either...
Quote from: spawn54 on July 24, 2009, 01:44:31 PM
Yeah my wife doesn't get My Svengoolie nonsense TV either...
LOL! there's more of us...lol.
My wife knows I have a problem, and I can't hold it against her!
I'm not married, but my boyfriend and I both love this stuff. He went to his second Monster Bash this past June and we already booked the room for 2010 right after we checked out. We even paint monster models together. lol Everything is awesome and the interest in monsters is the icing on the cake. Heck, on Saturday we get the curios at Ikea to display the Universal Monster toys! :)
We support each others habit. hee hee!
Quote from: claudin on July 30, 2009, 11:29:39 PM
I'm not married, but my boyfriend and I both love this stuff. He went to his second Monster Bash this past June and we already booked the room for 2010 right after we checked out. We even paint monster models together. lol Everything is awesome and the interest in monsters is the icing on the cake. Heck, on Saturday we get the curios at Ikea to display the Universal Monster toys! :)
We support each others habit. hee hee!
Haha, nice!
My wife isn't entirely into my monster and horror hobbies but she shares my passions enough that she is a total instigator! "Honey, we can't spend x on x this year, we have to rein it in... but look at these cool figures at Amok Time!"
In-sti-ga-tor.
She 'gets' most of it though, and has her own passions which she feels as strongly as I do my own, and we absolutely indulge and support each others' madness.
I don't know if I'd completely love her being precisely as into my passions as I am; I might get claustrophobic. I think we have a very good balance.
Mike C.
QuoteThis man is an awesome provider, works super-hard in a very exclusive technical job for a major corporation, travels, brings home tons of bacon, huge house, very industrious on weekends and nights, very capable with all matters of home improvement, builds, renovates, outfits, ought to be a wife's dream .... everything I'm not, in fact ... yet he gets bitched about endlessly because in this huge house, where there is plenty of room and all the cards were on the table from the get-go, before the house was even built .... he has a toy den, full of stuff, and a basement store-room for stuff not yet opened.
Sounds like the ice water in hell type. We have a basement full of stuff. I don't complain about his stuff, he doesn't complain about mine. He just wants me to clean up my craft area. We have an old deep freezer that we need to replace. That's a toughie. It's the best spot for my son and me to paint our creations.