When do you let a girl you're dating see your collection?

[Unknown Primate]

When I first saw the subject line, I thought I'd never see my own collection again because my wife would KILL me!  Thankfully you mentioned wives, too  .

My wife bought the Universal US Postage Stamps for me when they first came out.  Then, for Christmas, she picked up the Godzilla New York "playset" on clearance for about 5 bucks.  Wasn't long after that, the bug hit me and I started collecting these denizens of the dark.  She's ok with it now, but I definitely recieved some teasing, sarcasm & eye rolling off & on for quite awhile.  Plus, she has some cool Disney stuff, which I encourage.  She also likes wiccan stuff, but hesitates to collect it because she's afraid her mother won't approve (i.e. jump her ass!).  I'm 56 - she's 49.  My mother-in-law is only 10 years older than me, and she thinks I'm irresponsible & weird... 

My 21 year old daughter & her friends dig my collection the most!

[missdead13]

Q: When do you let a girl you're dating see your collection?
A: When she begs me to!

  WELL SAID..... LMAO... AGREED 10000% PERCENT.  although I'd say " when He begs me Too.. " , as Im the one with the collection.(s) and
uhm.. Ya. it comes firstttt.. its a package deal.. like thats my life. If they didnt know that about me, I wouldnt even be close enough to that person to start dating
in the first place... seriously.... this whole question seems bizarre to me ...  Like anyone who even KiNDa sorta knows me , at least knows THATTTTT.. 

[missdead13]

What do you do then in cases like Charp and Missdead where they beg to see your collection before you've ever even asked them out?

   omgosh.. im roflmao..... cause thats what I was wondering as well...
I am SOOOOO lost with this whole question... Im absolutely floored in fact..  How in the world do you even " wonder when to tell someone"
.. I mean.
How could they possibly NOT KNowwww.. like even if they just kinda knew you as a friend.??
I mean.. like am I missing something here ? I dont get it . at allll...
can someone please explain this to me. Im confused.
or am I not understanding the question 

[missdead13]

Question-When do you let a girl you're dating see your collection?

Answer-Sadly, when it's far too late and she BECOMES part of my collection!


Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!



S.P.

dont be joking . . that roxxx... 

[aura of foreboding]

Something I've never understood (and I'm not trying to offend anyone but I'm genuinely curious) is how Peter Pan and Tinkerbell became gay pride symbols. Yes, Peter lived with lost boys but he also fought pirates and his thing was keeping the adventure of youth. It wasn't about homosexuality. I didn't know "tink" was slang for gay until I was out of college. I don't get that either unless it's because "fairy" is and she's the most famous fairy of all. But still, I don't even get the fairy term. But I've had people assume I'm gay or a pervert (like a Michael Jackson type) just because of what I collect and what I do for a living and I'm just as normal as anyone. I don't even have a quirk like J. Edgar Hoover's dressing in drag.

I think ADD gets thrown around a lot too. I've been called that by people also, even by some collectors, because when I start collecting something I try to get the complete set. When you collect something why wouldn't you? I'm casual on some things though. I only got the characters I liked for Star Wars and Lord of the Rings for example, but on others I MUST get everything sooner or later. I never pay huge sums either. The most I ever payed for an action figure was 66.00 and today he goe on Ebay for 500.00. So that was a special case. But anyway...

I'm just going to go on record in saying that I don't think these characters are "gay pride symbols" anymore than they are symbols of other things - and are most likely more symbolic and more associated with said other things.  I have never heard of Peter Pan being representative of any faction of society other than those who "refuse to grow up" - either in the "correct" way or the "incorrect" way as is outlined in your previous post.  So that is news to me.  And millions of people love Tinkerbell.  She has become so popular that she is used by all kinds of people to mean all kinds of things.  And a concept so popular is bound to bring hundreds of followings.  It's silly to focus on just one, especially when I don't think that is the prevalent association.  Regardless, these are classic characters who millions of kids and adults love.  And I think it's silly to say they have become representative of one thing (something of which I have never heard them symbolizing) when they represent so much more to legions of individuals.  Disney's Jake and the Neverland Pirates has really helped to bring Peter Pan back to popularity with the younger set.  And I am glad for that, because he's an awesome character. 

Honestly, after reading all of these posts, I think you place too much importance on other people, what they do, and what they think of you.  Be concerned with yourself first.  Be true to yourself, stop worrying about other people, and just find people who can appreciate you and care for you because of who you are.  This can be hard at first, but you get used to it.  Most of us here have.  If we didn't, we wouldn't be here, sitting around so comfortably, discussing monster toys, Horror films, and related topics of awesomeness for years and years.  You have to be comfortable with yourself first.  You have to stop questioning what you do, what you like, and what other people think about it.  It's not important and it never will be.  It's your life.  Live it.  And once you do that, once you are comfortable enough with yourself, you can go out and find other people who are comfortable with themselves, who don't care what other people think. 

I think aura of foreboding is right.

Socializing is key. Bars, libraries, etc.

Maybe your listening to the people who dont like who you are too much?

I have met tons of girls who didnt mind anything I do. And then there's been a couple who didnt like what I do. How long did they last?? About a split second after I said peace out. Man you just gotta go out there. If you dont, then I dont know what to tell you.

Thanks seed_murda.  I think your follow-up advice is even better. 

Wizard of Ed, listen to this.  But only after you accept who you are and once you don't let other people's negativity influence you or make you question yourself.

     I have found that most people are not worthy to be immersed in the Monstery Goodness.....they just don't "get it".

And this is very true, horrorhunter.  But there are people who do or can relate (even on a parallel field), and those are the ones worth keeping.  Hence why I ditched the others.   

[missdead13]

You let her snoop and find out right away. That way if your further along in your relationship, nobody gets hurt if she doesnt like your stuff. Remember, what you like is part of who you are, and you shouldnt ever try to change who you are. If they dont like you for who you are then F$#(*at*) em.  No, really..... F$#(*at*) em and then leave  em. There are plenty of fish in the sea, thats for sure. I kind of think of dating as more of a trial and error until you find the right puzzle piece to fit your puzzle. Dont waste any time, you only live one time !!!!

ya . for sure. .

its a given . right ??  to me, its an immediate deal breaker if theyre not into it..

first question..... :"Do you like toys , monsters, comic books , Gl Joes, antiques, Horror. old/ sci-fi, dead things in jars interest you ??
ok. you do??
ok.  then we can talk.  and maybe even be friends"..  LOL. .

Ill let you know about dating you after I see YOUR collection.
and even then, we might need a pre-nup. if things progress. .  lmao

[aura of foreboding]

ya . for sure. .

its a given . right ??  to me, its an immediate deal breaker if theyre not into it..

first question..... :"Do you like toys , monsters, comic books , Gl Joes, antiques, Horror. old/ sci-fi, dead things in jars interest you ??
ok. you do??
ok.  then we can talk.  and maybe even be friends"..  LOL. .

Ill let you know about dating you after I see YOUR collection.
and even then, we might need a pre-nup. if things progress. .  lmao

THIS!

[Wizard_Of_Ed]

Seed - I've learned long ago that bars are the wrong place to meet people in my neck of the woods. The people who frequent them around here are the rednecks who live in trailer parks and get wasted and watch NASCAR, etc and brag up how many guns they own and how much welfare they collect. It's just not my type of people.

I go to the library quite a bit but I've never met anyone there. Mostly high school students, elderly ladies, libertarians, and gay men frequent my library.

Chris - your story would be the ideal. At least in my experience the women I've encountered in my life whether in college or social gatherings or in the work place all have this idealized version of a man that no one, not even Jesus Christ, could ever live up to. If you have a quirk, forget it not that I'm interested after I find out how they really are anyway.

Missdead - I asked the question because I've noticed people treat me differently when they learn what I'm into or collect - - especially single girls. I never try to hide it so I wondered if there may be a better approach to introducing people to it. I think people have preconceived notions about people who collect figures or draw comics or are into animation. LOL! Your posts are funny.

I'm surprised you have never heard about that with Peter Pan, Aura. He's not the only character either. Pinocchio is another one (it was explained to me by gay people he's a misfit who wants to be a real boy and that's why they associate with him.) and the Disney Cheshire Cat (I have no idea why on him) Also pretty much anything with the Wizard of Oz. There are people who wont even go to Oz conventions anymore because it's become a code for a gay pride gathering and not about the books or film anymore. I was told about the "Tink" one when I was looking at some stuff at Hot Topic and the person I was with told me that.

It's not that I care what other people think so much as I sometimes get burnt out by the disproportionate negative vibe people give me because of this stuff. The only time I ever cared what others thought was back in high school I used to make HUGE plywood figures (between 8 and 30 feet tall) and stick them in my yard for holidays. The neighborhood kids would steal them and burn them. The State Police finally made me take my display down because they said I make myself a target with it. I got tired of having things I poured so much love into be destroyed. But that was the only time I ever let what other people thought dictate something I did.

I accept who I am and what I do. EVen my entire family thinks I must have something seriously wrong with me because of what I do. My dad's family has pretty much disowned me as the joke of the family and my mom's side all think I've wasted my life. I come from a long line of farmers and factory workers and anything involving imagination is strange to them. But not even that bothers me. I just wondered if when I meet new people I must be letting them know about my interests in the wrong way. I'm not sure how you got the vibe that I was ashamed of it of something. This thread at least gives me some hope.

[ilikemonsters]

Remember to tell her that you are recycling and preventing these items from filling up landfills, because you want to protect our environment.

[missdead13]

Remember to tell her that you are recycling and preventing these items from filling up landfills, because you want to protect our environment.

Remember to tell her that you are recycling and preventing these items from filling up landfills, because you want to protect our environment.

Ok. stop right there.. If any guy told me THAT,  that is when I would not only call him some kind of ..... insert homosexual slur here . ....  your pick. i dont care.
and then maybe beat him up... lol. forget all that disney stuff , wizard of oz and whatever else was supposed to be "gay " related , in original post !!!  the environment comment is what would kill it for me. lol ...   {Hell, I'd even say that to a girl if she told me anything like that.. who am i kidding? lol }

but, ya know. thats me . Im not into being green.. I drive old cars. I like the smell of using too much fuel & motor/ engine// all associated smells & fumes.
I love old stuff made out of metal, that sits around FOREVER, taking up space in the yard, and junkyards. , not cardboard thats gonna fall apart back into the earth. .
I want stuff that pretty much lasts forever.. even if it is covered in rust.   Love it.
Call me old fashioned. Call me whatever the heck you want..

I think those eco -friendly pick up lines only work with University students? / hippies? / most of the other ppl here that live around me in So. Cal/ Berkley / Seattle.. i dunno . lol
......sigh. .......
okay rant over , before this topic gets locked and the General or Ray kicks me off this board.  ( begs .. Pleasseeeee dont kick me off . please . Im not tryin to get political...
I was jus' sayinn)........ shrugs.

[Wizard_Of_Ed]

Funny you mention that...I save the boxes of everything I have. My attic is like a warehouse! I just can't part with the box artwork. I could care less about going green. All of that stuff is a BS filled fad anyway.

I've only ever met 1 girl who didn't think what I do is weird but her best friend did and talked her out of going out with me anymore because apparently what her friends thought of her was more important than a guy....

Yeah! Bring on the big clunker cars!! When I was in college I hit a deer with my 1977 gold Chevy Impala that I bought from a little old lady who only drove it across the street to the grocery store every day for 15 years. (Got it for 500.00!) So I hit this deer and I was like "Oh, crap! I bet I totaled the front of my car!) So I get home and all that was wrong was the grill, which was plastic, was cracked and the headlight was hanging out by a wire but it was STILL lit. Yeah, I'd take a car like that over ANYTHING made now. It was a tank!

[Type3Toys]

First date. Why wait? If she cant "understand the child inside the man"(yes, from a Lennon song) she wont last to long in my life.

[aura of foreboding]

I accept who I am and what I do. EVen my entire family thinks I must have something seriously wrong with me because of what I do. My dad's family has pretty much disowned me as the joke of the family and my mom's side all think I've wasted my life. I come from a long line of farmers and factory workers and anything involving imagination is strange to them. But not even that bothers me. I just wondered if when I meet new people I must be letting them know about my interests in the wrong way. I'm not sure how you got the vibe that I was ashamed of it of something. This thread at least gives me some hope.

I get the vibe because of the content of your posts, including the content in the above quote.  They focus so much on other people.  It's not about them.  It's about you. 

The only time I ever cared what others thought was back in high school I used to make HUGE plywood figures (between 8 and 30 feet tall) and stick them in my yard for holidays. The neighborhood kids would steal them and burn them. The State Police finally made me take my display down because they said I make myself a target with it. I got tired of having things I poured so much love into be destroyed. But that was the only time I ever let what other people thought dictate something I did.

This is rather disturbing and more proof to me that you need to leave wherever you live, because that does not happen in the United States of America.  In the United States of America, people can do whatever they want on their property and in the privacy of their own homes (as long as it isn't hurting anyone else) and be protected by the law.  Whoever vandalized your property needed to go to jail, because that is inherently wrong.  And if the police told you to stop putting things on your property, you are, to put it bluntly, living in a backwards place.  I have never heard of something so absurd in my whole life. 

As for all of the characters you mentioned, millions of people love Disney characters.  Those people come in all shapes, colors, and sizes: straight, gay, black, white, neon.  And that was, quite frankly, my point.  I don't think any of them are symbols for anything.  People, whoever they may be and wherever they may come from,  like them because they're very likable, they're fun, they're lighthearted.  I think people need to stop thinking that certain characters and films have taken on meanings deeper than the original intention.  Let's say that a lot of Brits like Lady and the Tramp.  That doesn't make it a symbol for the British.  Millions of Americans love Lady and the Tramp too.  I think a lot of this comes from where you live, because I have never been exposed to such silly thinking.  It's like saying Dracula is a symbol of Ranching, Frankenstein is representative of Big Business, and the Wolf Man is only loved by Cowboys.  It's not healthy.  So leave.     

[Paul L]

When the right person comes along and I'm ready to "start a life" with them is it really that big a deal that I'm into this? If it is......she's waaaaaaaaaay too superficial for me.

We have a bingo here! And would you really be happy w/a so-called "normal" partner anyway? (Normal meaning "most", but not "better", someone w/mundane, predictable, BORING interests & little to no imagination?)

[charp13]

aura of foreboding- I have always LOVED your screen name  Now back to the topic at hand- I feel the exact same way as you do about Disney, Monsters, life, etc. 
I haven't dated anyone in 32 years, so I don't know anything about such wonderful adventures. But I have always been an outsider of sorts (my kids call me- a one-Mom Wolfpack). I have had a monster fixation from the age of 4 and started collecting little things all throughout my marriage. Many were gifts from my husband and kids. But I have always displayed my treasures openly, and feel that my home is my only safe place. My  sister and father think I'm "peter pan-ish", and they all buy in to the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality. But what I am what I am. I might look like a 49 1/2 year old woman, but I'm a kid inside. I guess that's why I've always worked with kids, and I raised 2 productive members of society. If I had to start dating (G_d forbid), I would mention my Universal Monsters collection on the first date, and ask the person I'm with- if they collect any memorabilia. I think it's more acceptable nowadays, due to all the antique and collecting shows on tv. There's nothing wrong with ANYTHING that anyone collects in this crazy world of ours.....oh wait, there are a few things..like humans and what not. Anyway, everyone on this board has so much to offer, and I think that they have some great advice for you!- especially aura of foreboding!!