When do you let a girl you're dating see your collection?

[Flower]

Q: When do you let a girl you're dating see your collection?
A: When she begs me to!

So .. No one's seen your collection? ... 

[Count_Zirock]

So .. No one's seen your collection? ... 

My housekeeper wishes she'd never seen it, since she has to dust it!
Since my mother's Tinkerbell collection is mixed in with my monster and "Star Wars" stuff,  sometimes they get into that.
One of them did something weird, recently. She was sitting next to the table where I have two Godzilla figures, my DST deluxe Drac and Frank, the JAKKS Drac, and the Amok Time Elvira. I noticed she was fiddling with them, but, no big deal. Until the next day, when I noticed she'd positioned a Godzilla on either side of Elvira, and each had their mouths up to her bossoms!
She's getting a 2nd date!

[seed_murda]

You let her snoop and find out right away. That way if your further along in your relationship, nobody gets hurt if she doesnt like your stuff. Remember, what you like is part of who you are, and you shouldnt ever try to change who you are. If they dont like you for who you are then F$#(*at*) em.  No, really..... F$#(*at*) em and then leave  em. There are plenty of fish in the sea, thats for sure. I kind of think of dating as more of a trial and error until you find the right puzzle piece to fit your puzzle. Dont waste any time, you only live one time !!!!

[Count_Zirock]

Dont waste any time, you only live one time !!!!

Unless you're descended from Transylvanian nobility, then, you've got a shot at immortality.

[Flower]

. Until the next day, when I noticed she'd positioned a Godzilla on either side of Elvira, and each had their mouths up to her bossoms!
She's getting a 2nd date!

Sounds like a keeper, I hope that she likes cats ...

[aura of foreboding]

This is not related to dating, but I have to say that each time I have shown a friend my collection, I have lost contact or had a falling out with said person.  Not really because of my collection directly, but  because I have a habit of picking "friends" who really don't measure up to the quality of my monsters.    

On the other hand, I have very good relationships with people who have never seen my collection.  And while we talk of many things and I feel I can trust them very much, I never bring them into my world.  It's an odd thing.  I guess I associate losing friends with allowing them to see my monster collection.  But it's more than that.  For really knowing me is knowing my monsters.  And I guess that knowing me isn't for a lot of people... at least the people I have had the unfortunate experience of encountering.  Yes, I need to find new friends, I know.   

[SeptimusPretorius]

Question-When do you let a girl you're dating see your collection?

Answer-Sadly, when it's far too late and she BECOMES part of my collection!


Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!


j/k


S.P.

[Wizard_Of_Ed]

Since we're sharing ages, I'm 31 and single and I'll be 32 in September. I have a PVC collection that I started when I was 9 year old that now contains over 5,000 figures easily. I have nearly every Disney action figure I know to exist from Little Mermaid (Bendums) to Treasure Planet when they stopped making them. I have some Pixar ones too. I have a nearly complete Muppet action figure collection and every Christmas action figure I know to exist with a few exceptions. I have several cabinets full of snow globes and statues based on Christmas and Disney films and a Christmas village of Christmas film houses. I have about a thousand Christmas ornaments and my DVD collection has past 1,200 volumes. My library of books is something like that too. I mostly collect Christmas stuff because I mostly do Christmas projects.  I like all holidays though and that's how I got interested in old Monster movies. I did a story for Halloween that was a Monster Comedy and I collected the small scale Sideshow Monster figures as I did it. So I have a fairly large collection of things but I really don't collect much anymore. There's not much to collect.

I'm always up front after  I get to know women about what I do and what I like (and I'm not an ugly guy either...) but they can never get over it like "real men" don't do creative things or collect "toys". Yet everyone I know in my profession does. I'd love to wind up with a girl who would pick me up a figure just because or something like that. I didn't think they were out there anymore.

Women are strange though. I have a friend who's mom owns a McDonald's Franchise and he manages one. He got really serious with this one girl but she dumped him because she just couldn't tell her friends that her husband/boyfriend/fiance' worked at McDonalds even though he brought in hundreds of thousands a year and when the mom dies and he inherits it he'll probably make millions. Who cares where your money comes in from as long as it's legal and coming in?

I've rarely got to the talking about the collection phase because they can't get past the cartoons and working on comic books. I never even read comic books growing up. It's just a field I found later in life and enjoy. It's the one last vestige of visual media where a creator has complete control and can make some genuine art as they entertain. I think it wrongly gets pegged as being like a Peter Pan syndrome thing. I always feel like a freak show when I meet new people because very few people have respected me once they found out what I do. Even when I worked a day job the other guys at work would outright run down the comics. When I see them occasionally on the street they still do. I don't know what it is about it that people think isn't an authentic profession but they do.

What gets me is that I'm not like the stereotype people must think of. For example, I collected the Palisades Muppet figures 10 years ago (anyone remember those? They had a few Muppet Monster selections) but I came to know the people who made them because I was promoting my first book on the same circuit they were at. Whenever lunch came up I'd go get their sandwiches for them. I also wear glasses and carried a backpack so they called me "Scooter", the Muppet's go-for on the show. So one year for my birthday they sent me a Scooter action figure everyone in the company signed. That's pretty amazing and it's the only one that exists. To me that's a big deal that they did that for me and that's the story behind why they did it. To most girls I've met they'd think it was Peter Pan syndrome or something. You should see what happens when I've met some fathers...

Sly wolf - you don't talk too much. Look at me. LOL!!! I think you should keep that girl on the back burner as a possible date material girl. She may genuinely like you as more than just a gamer. I don't know what college you go to but none of the girls when I was in college was into that stuff. I'm not into video games so much. The reason is I could spend hours playing a game or invest that time into creating my own work so I always choose the creating.

I didn't know I could fix the typo but since people like it I leave it.

Yeah, I'd be pretty devastated if I was ever robbed either. I have a lot of stuff that's priceless to me because I've had it since I was a kid. Most of it isn't really worth anything financially but it would be nearly impossible to reassemble my collection again.


Count - Is your Mom aware of the Tinkerbell statue Electric Tiki is doing? I might even get that and I don't collect Tinkerbell or Electric Tiki.

Why is that Amok Time Elvira almost 100.00 though? I would have got one if not for the price. I'm Scotch-Irish so I'm very frugal in how I collect.

And how does everyone handle the dust? A few years ago I dusted everything and boxed it up. I miss having it all out but it was a pain to keep clean. Even the stuff I have in curio cabinets got VERY dusty. Sometimes I think my house is cursed...but it sounds like Aura's Monster collection truly is cursed.

And where are you guys meeting these girls who are supportive of your collection? I rarely meet many women to begin with because I'm nearly always at my drawing board. I'm just an odd mix of a fella. I collect this stuff and am in the arts but I'm a devout Christian and politically conservative and if I meet people through the faith and values side they don't like my collection or profession (most do wind up with military men.) If I meet people through the profession we clash on faith and values. Then the guys I've worked with in day jobs over the years who are not creative but are liberal run this stuff down too. Hence my question. I always get this vibe that people must think there is something wrong with me. I've even had people tell me "If you didn't collect toys or had a real job I know the perfect girl for you...." It sounds like this must not be as common a problem as it's been for me but I can't be the only one like me though.

[aura of foreboding]

Honestly, I feel that it's the groups (and types) of people you are around.  Perhaps it's where you live.  There are a ton of factors that can play into how people perceive what is and what is not acceptable.  In all honesty, I think the people with whom you associate are afraid of really being themselves.  You are true to who you are.  Don't change that, unless you genuinely want  to.  The problem is theirs, not yours.   

In regards to the "Peter Pan Syndrome" thing (a highly inaccurate and somewhat popular term), there are plenty of people like Peter who refuse to grow up in one way or another - and it doesn't come along with  the silly negative things associated with the perception of that mis"diagnosis."  Anyone of us could be compared to Peter for a variety of reasons.  (And I openly compare myself to him all of the time.  He and I have a lot in common.)  If you have good memories of childhood, why let them go?  If you found something that made you happy as a kid and want to stick with it, do so!  You have something that means something to you, and that's great.  Other people have nothing, and they are miserable.  Why be miserable with them?  Why want miserable people around you?  That's silly.  Keep doing what you are doing.  Be you, not what other people think you ought to be.  It's your life.  There are a lot of people out there - and tons of girls who dig "Geeky" guys.  Just break from your current circles, your current social scenes, and find new people.  Once you do that, you won't have to try as hard.  It will just come naturally.  And you'll nab her, I'm sure.   

And despite what I said about my Monster Collection, I have people who genuinely accept me for who I am and care about me as an odd, geeky, and strangely talented guy.  (And I've had a fair amount of girls who have had more than a passing fancy for me.)  I'm just not where I want to be yet, so I don't really want a relationship.  But, if I have met them, they exist. 

[monsterphile]

Sorry for the typo. I have my screen set at the high pixel rate and can't always catch my typos. It should have been Girl, not gitl.

For the record, you can go back and modify your posts (including typos) in the first 24 hours.  After that, you need a moderator to do it for you.  I've gone ahead and corrected it in your first post, but as you can see, it doesn't automatically make the same correction in the subsequent posts that used the "Re:" header.  If there had only been a couple of responses, I may have gone ahead and fixed them, but after this many, well, even I'm not that dedicated.  lol  Just an FYI for all...


As for the question...

When my wife and I met, all that I really collected in any great quantity were comic books and they were in boxes in a spare room and I honestly never really gave the concept a second thought.  Soon after, I actually stopped collecting comic books, but that was something that probably would have happened anyway.  The prices were going through the roof on them and for the most part, quality was declining.

After we were together, I started collecting monsters and the like, but we also got figurines and dolls and stuff for her as well.  We frequented yard sales, flea markets, and gift shops and as long as she was supplied with her "fix" as we went along, it's never become an issue.  I think the key is to date (and eventually marry if she's/he's the right one) someone who also is a collector.  People who don't collect, usually don't get "it" when it comes to our hobby.  As a collector, I enjoy seeing other people's collections, even if I have absolutely no interest in the subject matter.

Rob

[Wizard_Of_Ed]

Even when I was in college where people came from all over the world I never fit in among them. One of my art professors, a world famous artist in fact, slammed the entire class and praised me as the most shocking artist on campus because there was nothing shocking about my work and when most kids begin college they do sex organs and fetuses just because they can. He said they do it so much with no reason behind it that it's lost the shock factor and I think he's right.

In my opinion, the guys who knock the girls up and leave are the ones who suffer from Peter Pan syndrome because they only want to have fun and shirk responsibility. And these are the sorts of guys women seem to flock to as well as the ones who beat them. When I was in college I worked at a Walmart and this cashier's boyfriend threw her through a window in front of a crowd at the store. She was back with him a week later and had kids with him. I don't get how people can be so stupid.

I agree with you. (Peter Pan has always been a favorite of mine ever since I grew up on that Fox's animated series and read the books and saw the film Hook) I don't think carrying on something we enjoyed from childhood into adulthood is a bad thing. Pretty much everything I liked at age 4 I still like today and it's because I grew up with it that it's even more special to me. As I've gotten older I've expanded my interest into other things like I've been on a kick of old, forgotten stories for sometime now. Like the Oz stuff and George MacDonald, and others. People always look at me like I'm nuts when I do the things I do and like the things I enjoy. I think some of them may run it down because they see my pleasure and can't identify with it so they want to ruin it for me. The thing is I don't like the things most guys like. Watching sports bores me (it's the same story every time; someone wins/someone loses. Meh...) I'm not into cars or motorcycles. I don't know how to build things. I'm just not mechanically inclined. I've been told women look at this lack of "useful" skills and see me as a worthless potential match because of it. I've been told there are girls who like Geeky guys, especially because of The Big Bang Theory (supposedly) made them popular but I've never met one. I've met plenty of kinky goth types but those don't interest me.

Something I've never understood (and I'm not trying to offend anyone but I'm genuinely curious) is how Peter Pan and Tinkerbell became gay pride symbols. Yes, Peter lived with lost boys but he also fought pirates and his thing was keeping the adventure of youth. It wasn't about homosexuality. I didn't know "tink" was slang for gay until I was out of college. I don't get that either unless it's because "fairy" is and she's the most famous fairy of all. But still, I don't even get the fairy term. But I've had people assume I'm gay or a pervert (like a Michael Jackson type) just because of what I collect and what I do for a living and I'm just as normal as anyone. I don't even have a quirk like J. Edgar Hoover's dressing in drag.

I think ADD gets thrown around a lot too. I've been called that by people also, even by some collectors, because when I start collecting something I try to get the complete set. When you collect something why wouldn't you? I'm casual on some things though. I only got the characters I liked for Star Wars and Lord of the Rings for example, but on others I MUST get everything sooner or later. I never pay huge sums either. The most I ever payed for an action figure was 66.00 and today he goe on Ebay for 500.00. So that was a special case. But anyway...

Maybe I need to live in your neck of the woods? I'm right in the middle of 3 large cities (Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Buffalo) and I never seem to meet anyone. A friend of mine got me to try the online thing but I rarely get any responses. I mention my collection on the profile and I think it must be a turn off. The problem is people can't seem to tell the difference between being a child at heart and being childish.

Last fall I made the move to go to an all digital drawing system and the people in my circle ALL thought I was nuts to do this. Between the computerss, equipment, and how to books I put a few thousand into it. And they were like "Why can't you just used a Sharpie and typing paper? My weakness has always been inking and the digital process has allowed for me to compete with the big boys. Before I'd never have inked my own artwork....I may work something up for my Avatar image on here....But that is what I deal with. I just remember one guy going "Ed, what do you hope to glean from this?" like I was a sad, strange little man. Ah, well....

Monsterphile - I enjoy seeing collections too even when I'm not interested in the subject. A friend I know collects railroad insulators. He's wired like I am in that when we study a subject we like to learn all there is to know and he's one of the top national experts on the subject. He's sold a few of them for 10,000+ each too. To me it's just a piece of glass, so what? But to him he sees a treasure. He and his wife get twhy I collectr by my figures turn them off as much as inulators do me.

I've recently begun to pick up the collecteds of Comic Strips. I've never been a comic book collector and to me the fun of anything is to enjoy it. I wouldn't enjoy books sealed in bags anymore than a sealed figure in the card. I don't knock people who enjoy it though.

The funny thing is some of the girls I've encountered who find my action figures a childish hobby collect dolls or teddy bears themselves and when I've pointed that out they always say "That's different. I'm a girl and you're a man." and I'm never sure if they're saying girls can be childish or men aren't allowed to collect toys. I don't see collecting a plastic figure any different than collecting any other form of sculpture. The fun is the displaying. It's not like I role play with them like I did with toys when I was a kid. But out of doing that as a child I was able to develop my imagination enough to do my own stories with my own characters in various media. But I think it would be fun to be with a collector and go the the same venues you and your wife go to. That's where I find my best stuff anyway....too bad there's not a flea market/yard sale of single women. LOL!

[horrorhunter]

This is not related to dating, but I have to say that each time I have shown a friend my collection, I have lost contact or had a falling out with said person.  Not really because of my collection directly, but  because I have a habit of picking "friends" who really don't measure up to the quality of my monsters.    

On the other hand, I have very good relationships with people who have never seen my collection.  And while we talk of many things and I feel I can trust them very much, I never bring them into my world.  It's an odd thing.  I guess I associate losing friends with allowing them to see my monster collection.  But it's more than that.  For really knowing me is knowing my monsters.  And I guess that knowing me isn't for a lot of people... at least the people I have had the unfortunate experience of encountering.  Yes, I need to find new friends, I know.   

I have found that most people are not worthy to be immersed in the Monstery Goodness.....they just don't "get it".

[Hepcat]

Q: When do you let a girl you're dating see your collection?
A: When she begs me to!

What do you do then in cases like Charp and Missdead where they beg to see your collection before you've ever even asked them out?

[seed_murda]

Honestly, I feel that it's the groups (and types) of people you are around.  Perhaps it's where you live.  There are a ton of factors that can play into how people perceive what is and what is not acceptable.  In all honesty, I think the people with whom you associate are afraid of really being themselves.  You are true to who you are.  Don't change that, unless you genuinely want  to.  The problem is theirs, not yours.   

I think aura of foreboding is right.

Socializing is key. Bars, libraries, etc.

Maybe your listening to the people who dont like who you are too much?

I have met tons of girls who didnt mind anything I do. And then there's been a couple who didnt like what I do. How long did they last?? About a split second after I said peace out. Man you just gotta go out there. If you dont, then I dont know what to tell you.

[Earth 2 Chris]

No real advice here, but I knew me and my wife were meant to be back before we were dating. We were friends, and she came over to my house with some of my other buddies. She came into my room and the action figures didn't even phase her. She plopped down on the bed and picked up a stack of comics and started reading. I was already very attracted to her, but that was the clincher.

Chris