Just for fun - sometimes we need a little humor

[CreepysFan]

   

  Politicians and diapers need to be changed often.

[Scatter]

Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it's like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.

Classic!!

[Scatter]

   

  Politicians and diapers need to be changed often.

And for the same reason.

[CreepysFan]

   

  I've always been confused why the word service is used with these agencies :

   

    Customer Service

    Civil Service

    U.S. Postal Service

    Telephone Service

    Cable TV Service

    Internal Revenue Service

   

  That is not what I thought service meant.

Today I overheard two farmers talking about how one of them hired a bull to SERVICE his cows

   

  NOW I understand what all these agencies are doing to us.

[Scatter]

   

  I've always been confused why the word service is used with these agencies :

   

    Customer Service

    Civil Service

    U.S. Postal Service

    Telephone Service

    Cable TV Service

    Internal Revenue Service

   

  That is not what I thought service meant.

Today I overheard two farmers talking about how one of them hired a bull to SERVICE his cows

   

  NOW I understand what all these agencies are doing to us.

DING DING DING DING!!!!

[robodog]

Oh hell yes! especially the post office. I still have a plush Spuds Mackenzie dog, one just like the one I had and loved as a kid, in post office limbo. I ordered the dog several years ago. It is clearly lost and despite scouring the net I have yet  to see another like it. Now if I order something I'll pay extra to make sure it is NOT sent by the post office.

[Illoman]

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?' The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.' The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket.
Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?' 'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time. The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?' The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?' The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.

[Hepcat]

The recession has hit everybody really hard...


My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of
pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call
them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico ..

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!

The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by
the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally....

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs,
my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the
Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

[Hepcat]

   

  Politicians and diapers need to be changed often.

And for the same reason.

[Hepcat]

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?' The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.' The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket.
Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?' 'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time. The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?' The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?' The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.

Good one!

[Hepcat]

This is neat:

Ultimate Dog Tease

[CreepysFan]

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

   

This definitely belongs on a monster board.  So close to the truth it's scary.

[Fester]

I'd watch that!



This is why you never see a light saber in one of Shakespeare's plays.

[CreepysFan]

   

   X-MUPPETS

   

  They so need to do this.

[Scatter]

Oh man, that Muppet stuff is KILLER LOL!!!