Monster Football Team

[Sean]

 Imagine you are the general manager of a football team and you're scouting monsters to play for you.  (Stay away from the giants like Godzilla---stick with more man-sized creatures, or at least CLOSE TO man-sized) Name the monster and what his/ her position would be.  Do a whole starting lineup... or just pick one monster to play a particular position.  Give reasons for your selections.  Give reasons why you CAN'T pick a monster for the team.  Be creative.  Be silly.  Have fun.

[BlackLagoon]

Hmmmm...this is definitely out there, but pretty creative..Ok, I'll name just a few positions because most of these guys are gonna play both sides of the ball...

QB- Invisible Man...by far I think the ability to be the most problem solving, articulate and intelligent. Maybe not the most physical..but I think he could read a defense and come up with some sinister plays to burn them.

Wide Out-Dracula...seriously I dont know how you would cover a bat. He could always switch back to human form right before the reception.

RB- Wolf Man...he would pretty much be the Barry Sanders of the team, I cant imagine anyone else would might be able to run backwards, be that athletic and still come up with forward progress. He'd probably just leap over D lines.

T.E.--I give to Frankenstein...def not nimble by any means but I think as a blocker, and for short gains he has the strength and power to get the job done. He's practically begging for the ball with his arms outstrecthed like that too.

DE- Micheal Myers..too strong, I think when he starts "swimming" over tackles and guards its a bad day for the O-Line.

LB- Jason Vorhees, short bursts of speed, incredible strength....closes gaps every time.

I think Drac and Wolf man could double as Corners and Safeties....


Having said all that, you know its a slow day at work when youre putting monsters at football positions.

[BaronLatos35]

Sounds like fun, all tongue in cheek so I'll play:

- Peter Cushing as the coach. He just says old school like Ditka, Parcells, Landry, Lombardi and he would whup their monster a** in shape or they would face the stakes/silver.

- I like BlackLagoon's putting the Wolf Man at RB. I'll double him at inside LB with Voorhees. Wolf Man would be all Mike Singeltary, crazy eyed and growling behind the DLine playing smash mouth football.

- Dracula's Brides, The Vampire Lovers and the Twins of Evil as the cheerleaders. (sorry had to go there...)

- Elsa Lanchester as Mary Shelly is the owner. She had those 2 men captivated with her tale, she would handle this motley bunch and make bank!

[Sean]

BRAVO!  Baron Latos and Black Lagoon!!  EXCELLENT responses.  VERY creative.  I love the REASONING.  I also love the attention to the coaching staff, cheerleaders and ownership and what you want out of your QB.

This is a stretch of a topic, I know.  I'm just glad someone's latched onto it.  My buddies and me could spend time discussing any ridiculous topic while trying to instill legitamacy into it.  Keep 'em coming.

[BlackLagoon]

I like Baron's idea.

Owner, I'm gonna go with Jim Warren..a very normal looking guy, actually pretty slick, yet all business..and someone who understands the monsters!

Maybe I'll even put FJA in as general manager...

The stadium is needs a catchy name....hmmmm how about UMA Stadium?....Can you picture Mussberger back when with CBS sports..."You are looking LIVE at the Universal Monster Army Stadium!"

[Sean]

    QB--I like the idea of giving the Invisible Man a look (ehhh... that IS if you could actually DO that).  He seems intelligent enough and the pass rush would never get him--though I suppose they could just look for the ball.

            The Fly might get a look.  He has a VERY strong arm... and his field vision would be unmatched, though he did start to crack up in the 4th Quarter of the movie---which you don't want your Field General doing...

     WR--This is where I put the Invisible Man.  He could get behind the defense on every play.  Basically, they could just tell him where to be and throw to that spot.

      Nose Tackle--Frankenstein's Monster.  A rock at the point of attack.  He would get that all important rush up the middle and collapse the pocket.

      Def End--The Creature From the Black Lagoon.  I don't have his combine scores here, but my scouts say he has a 'swim move' 2nd to none.

      Linebackers--Inside LBs; Dracula (he would be my defensive captain).  Dracula could stunt up to the line and get the snap count fron the other team's center.  Next to him would by Quasimodo on the inside---as he would ring the opposition's RBs respective 'bells'. 
                          Outside LBs; Mr. Hyde and the Wolfman.  Mr. Hyde for his dogged pursuit of anything and the Wolfman because he would be leaping over piles to get the ball carrier.  He's my blitzing LB ala Lawrence Taylor.
     

[Fester]

We'd have to include Bob the title monster from I Was A Teenage Frankenstein. He was custom built, as it were, for the team.  Made from the bodies of athletes killed in a plane crash, he even had the legs of a place kicker.

[Sean]

We'd have to include Bob the title monster from I Was A Teenage Frankenstein. He was custom built, as it were, for the team.  Made from the bodies of athletes killed in a plane crash, he even had the legs of a place kicker. >>>

      We need Special Teams!