Hello My Love. Where art thou?

[kolchak4ever]

Richard, you sure know how to make certain things tingle.

Tingle? Lets face it, you where scared stiff.

[Richard]

Tingle? Lets face it, you where scared stiff.

TA-dum! (rimshot)

Do you have this file in a larger size? I'll take it anyway I can get it! Please send me an attachment of said pic and I will reward you handsomely.

Larger size?...I can do that. Upload/download times for attaching her may be real long. How big a "pipe" you got? Want her sent as a full blow-up? 

[Nicole]

Larger size?...I can do that. Upload/download times for attaching her may be real long. How big a "pipe" you got? Want her sent as a full blow-up? 

Oh, brother... What's become of our board?

[Gary D Macabre]

Oh, brother... What's become of our board?

What do you mean??? this group has always gotten hideously off topic and a little disturbed from time to time.  Heck things have been pretty straight laced since we left the Yahoo group. Meek shall we hijack this topic with bad puns and Monty Python references?

[fmofmpls]

Can you guys keep it down a bit in here? And can you move over some Gary? And what's this Coffin Joe doll doing in here again? Please .. I'm trying to summon Helen back to this thread! If I'm to do that, I will need complete concentration so she can hear me. She must have gotten lost somewhere during the outage. Helen! I'm still here! Please talk to me Helen! 

[Meek]

    I say Terry, is Helen a goer, eh? Know what I mean? Is she a goer, know what I mean? Nudge, Nudge. Wink, Wink. Into holiday snaps is she? Bathing costumes, eh? Snap, Snap. Wink, Wink. Grin, Grin.
   Ooooo, I bet she does! I bet she does!
   Say no more. Say no more. Nudge, Nudge. Wink, Wink.

    "Meek"(meek by name and by nature)

[helenchandler]

Hello Universal Monster Army. It is me, Helen Chandler. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to check in here as often as Terry would like, but where I'm at, time and space are much different than on the surface of the planet. Here in the afterlife, there are no weeks, no days, no hours; only eternal peace.

I would like to address this strange fixation of Terry's. While I'm flattered with his undue attention towards me and my work as a film actress, I'm also a bit put off with this odd infatuation of his. First of all Terry, you are a married man with two beautiful children. Your family needs you. Your wife needs you. And most importantly, what gives you the idea that you somehow even know me at all? You do not know me. All that you know of me are diluted impressions based upon your strange fascination with the character named Mina; a fantasy role that I played in the 1931 film Dracula. You have no right to long for my affection. You have no right to call for me. I have already lived my life on Earth and you need to continue to live yours. Do you feel that you could have somehow saved me from myself and my demons while in the flesh? How arrogant of you Terry. You have all you can do to even save yourself yet alone save somebody else! No, you need to move on with your life and stop daydreaming selfishly about what could have been, what might have been, and what should have been. Have you also conveniently forgotten that I too was once married? Three times in fact! Do you not think that Bramwell Fletcher, Cyril Hume, and Walter Piascik find this fantasy of yours offensive?

I'm must return now. I would ask that you Terry reevaluate your own life and stop obsessing over mine. You need to be more grounded with your own world and it's important realities than living in a constant fantasy world that will never come to be.

P.S. I would like to come back here and visit more often, but I will not do so if corrupt minds like that of Richard Olson continue to defame me with pornographic images. I thought Terry cared enough about me to even allow such things to appear? I'm disappointed with both him and you Richard. You men both need to grow up and stop acting like school boys. When that happens, I will return.

Much love, Helen.

[Tom Smith Monsternut]

P.S. I would like to come back here and visit more often, but I will not do so if corrupt minds like that of Richard Olson continue to defame me with pornographic images. I thought Terry cared enough about me to even allow such things to appear? I'm disappointed with both him and you Richard. You men both need to grow up and stop acting like school boys. When that happens, I will return.

Much love, Helen.

I guess we will never see Helen again 

[roheimiana]

General, I sure hope you were watching Turner Classic Movies late last night because Helen was singing and dancing up a storm for you. The vehicle was an odd little flick called Long Lost Father (1934) in which she plays John Barrymore's estranged daughter, a girl who can more than out-tipple her dad.

This role is as different from the limp and fragile Mina as you can imagine. So maybe she's sending you a message from the cosmic ether – put on your dancing shoes, pop the cork on a bottle of champagne, party all night, and you'll finally find her waiting for you come dawn!

[fmofmpls]

You men both need to grow up and stop acting like school boys. When that happens, I will return.

Wait! Stop! Please don't go! Come back here Helen! You don't understand. I was going to ban Richard from the group. I know that picture was repulsive. Please don't leave like this! Won't you please give me a chance to explain Helen? I'm not like the rest of these guys. I adore you for your perseverance through adversity and for your work as a film actress. Yes, I know that you were married and that I am married. I meant no harm or disrespect towards your character. With no help from anyone here, I'm afraid my intentions have been terribly misconstrued. Helen, please give me another chance to explain? I promise this thread will not be poisoned any longer by childish pranksters like Richard Olson. HELEN !! COME BACK !!

Argh .. that damn Richard and his Photoshop shenanigans.       

[Gary D Macabre]

"I will put together an army that will staunchly defend you to the very ends of the earth" Terry Ingram.

Farewell Helen.  May your here after be infinitely more rewarding than your time on this planet.  Do not labour yourself with such trivialities as we the living must endure, that time has passed.  General Terry will gather himself straight and continue on until his meeting with Prince Skiri, and at that time you both can sort it all out.  All in all that time is not far off.  Rest in Peace.

Soldier of Helen's army, officer of the UMA.
Gary D. Macabre

[Gary D Macabre]

General,with all due respect to my post, get yourself together Man.  You've got an army to run.  Run it like a man, defend miss Helen her life and her memory, do not whimper like lost puppy.  You bestow no honour on her nor yourself with this simpering.  Make her proud and she will wait for you.

[fmofmpls]

Dear Gary. I'm afraid your right. I'm a mess. I've lost all control. First with Helen, and now with my own army. I've been reduced to a blubbering coward. What are the men saying about me? Max, Raymond, Bobby, and Mike all ignore me. Meek mocks me. Craig ridicules me. Richard offends me. Has it come down to this? Oh dear God what has happened to me? How has a fierce and strong General been trivialized by a silly and selfish fantasy? I am tired Gary. Very tired. You be General for today. I've had all I can take. This world has broken me. This army has turned it's back on me. And now Helen has betrayed me. I'm done. 

[Nicole]

Coming soon: UMA the soap opera.

[Gary D Macabre]

ALRIGHT PEOPLE!!!!  Helen is Gone and General Terry is off to the infirmary.  You heard the Man I'm in charge for the day.  So lets just move along, there's noting more to see here!

Off you go, move along.  That's it, back to your posting on other threads.  Max, you can lock this one up now.

Acting General for the Day
Gary D. Macabre