NEWS OF THE WORLD - Current Events (May Be Disturbing, No Politics Please)

[charp13]

Whew! Thanks for the cautionary tale! The last story is just another reason why I have not taken up drinking...yet. Ambulances are pretty hot looking sometimes!   

[Haunted hearse]

Whew! Thanks for the cautionary tale! The last story is just another reason why I have not taken up drinking...yet. Ambulances are pretty hot looking sometimes!   

My 59 Coach was both an ambulance and a hearse.  Somehow, as attractive as I find it, I've never had any unatural desires toward it.

[tv horror]

Mmm...I wonder Haunted hearse after all you get laid in each of those vehicles.

[Fester]

Naked robber leaves lingerie store wearing red dress and blonde wig - but is caught by tattoo on his back

24 February 2013

An Iowa man has been arrested after breaking into a lingerie store and spending two hours trying on various items before leaving wearing a dress and a blonde wig.

Jose Angel Perales Jr., 24, was caught after police noticed a prominent tattoo of his last name on his back as they examined surveillance footage from Dr. John's Lingerie Boutique in Davenport.

Checking the state's mug shot records, they identified Perales and arrested him on Friday for third-degree burglary and third degree theft.

Breaking into the store at around 4.10 a.m. on the morning of February 17th, Perales was videoed entering an unlocked door and heading for the manager's office according to the Quad City Times.

When Perales left the office, he was naked, and was then observed spending the next two hours trying on various items of clothing around the store.

After two hours of shopping, Perales then left the store wearing a dress and a blonde wig that belonged to Dr. John's and was carrying a containing items from the store.

Investigators seized merchandise from the store during a search of Perales' residence, according to the affidavit.

According to the arrest affidavit filed by Davenport police Perales walked around the store and shopped before going into the manager's office.

The surveillance video showed a tattoo on the man's back that read 'Perales' in old English lettering.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2283834/Naked-robber-leaves-lingerie-store-wearing-red-dress-blonde-wig--caught-tattoo-back.html#ixzz2LzInGLUr

[tv horror]

Tattoo on his back? Who was he Ricardo Montalban! 

[charp13]

tv horror!! You are leaving me in stitches! I can't stop giggling over your one liners 
I always knew you were a lyrical genius, but I did not know how funny you are! I hope there are more News of the World stories posted soon, just so you can make me laugh some more! 
As for the ambulance/hearse attraction...I don't know what came over me. teehee

[tv horror]

Why thank you Charp13 you honour me with your compliments. Your comment:I don't know what came over me, reminds me of an old joke. "Doctor doctor I feel like a bridge" The doctor replies "What came over you?" "Oh two cars and a lorry!" Boom boom.

[charp13]

Yes!! That's my favorite kind of joke! I understood it, and I got a great laugh! 
I will re-tell it to my grandson, but replace "lorry" with a motorcycle....8 year olds love joke with motorcycles in them- and I'll look pretty cool...... yay!

[tv horror]

Charlotte I know tons of doctor joke's.

[Haunted hearse]

Yes!! That's my favorite kind of joke! I understood it, and I got a great laugh! 
I will re-tell it to my grandson, but replace "lorry" with a motorcycle....8 year olds love joke with motorcycles in them- and I'll look pretty cool...... yay!

There was the story of a child who told his mother that he was going to play bridge with his friends.  The mother told him that she had no idea he was familliar with the cardgame.  her son said they didn't play bridge with cards, but rather one would stretch out between two chairs, and the others would walk across him.

[Fester]

A guy walks into a doctor's office and starts saying: "I'm a Teepee--I'm a Wigwam--I'm a Teepee--I'm a Wigwam--I'm a Teepee--I'm a Wigwam--"


The doctor says:  "Calm Down! You're two tents!"

[Fester]

Personally, I'm holding out for tickets on the Hindenberg II


Plans for Titanic replica set sail as Australian billionaire avoids sink jinx

Mining tycoon to make exact copy of doomed ocean liner for journey across the Atlantic – but don't ask if it's unsinkable

    Paul Harris in New York
    guardian.co.uk, Tuesday 26 February 2013 15.40 EST   
   

It looks like the Titanic. It is meant to feel like the Titanic. But the Australian billionaire who on Tuesday unveiled blueprints for a successor ship to the doomed ocean liner is confident his dream project will not sink like the Titanic.

At a news conference in New York, mining tycoon Clive Palmer said his ambitious plans to launch a copy of the Titanic and sail her across the Atlantic would be a tribute to those who built and backed the original.

"We will complete the journey. We will sail into New York on the ship they designed," he said at the event being held inside the Intrepid aircraft carrier that is now a museum in the city.

But Palmer, a jovial and brash mogul who likes to style himself "professor", refused to be drawn into predicting that his new boat would be "unsinkable" – and thus avoided repeating an act of hubris that the backers of the first Titanic famously made. "Anything will sink if you put a hole in it," Palmer admitted of Titanic II. But he joked that due to global warming the risks of travelling through the waters near the Arctic circle had lessened considerably. "There are not so many icebergs in the North Atlantic these days," he said.

Palmer said that there was huge demand for the Titanic II's maiden voyage. He said more than a dozen eager customers offering to pay up to a million dollars to snag a first class cabin. But he was less eager to reveal details of the cost of building the ship. Palmer founded Blue Star Line just to build the boat and he has ploughed part of his own fortune into it. "I've got enough money to pay for it," he said when asked if he needed to borrow to raise funds. "Cost is not what it is all about."

For the whole story, including pictures:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/feb/26/titanic-2-launch-new-york-replica

[tv horror]

Fester post another fun story, the Titanic is too tragic to make fun of this time.

[Paladin]

I heard about this. It sounds like a very ambitious and costly venture.

[Fester]

Fester post another fun story, the Titanic is too tragic to make fun of this time.

What? Its too soon?

The Old Canoe sank over a hundred years ago.

And as the boys at Harland And Wolfe said--"Don't blame us!  It was in good shape when it left Belfast."



FROM  ROLLS-ROYCE STAFF MAGAZINE:

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (true story)..

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity.

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the Windshields of their new high speed trains.

Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow..

The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.

You're going to love this......

Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:

"Defrost the chicken."