NEWS OF THE WORLD - Current Events (May Be Disturbing, No Politics Please)

[charp13]

Isn't that a KING MISSILE song? 

[tv horror]

I went with an hermaphrodite one, they didn't know if they were coming or going...Think about that one for a minute.

[Haunted hearse]

  "Throwaway Penis" 

http://news.yahoo.com/hermaphrodite-sea-slug-mates-throwaway-penis-001103527.html

If this involved Seagulls, instead of sea-slugs, would the discards be called "Penis from Heaven", and would Steve Martin make a movie about it?

[Unknown Primate]

I went with an hermaphrodite one, they didn't know if they were coming or going...Think about that one for a minute.

Do I have to?  Dang - too late - now I'm thinking about it!

[RedKing]

I went with an hermaphrodite one, they didn't know if they were coming or going...Think about that one for a minute.

The thing with hemaphrodites-if you tell them to go screw themselves-they can!

[Unknown Primate]

RedKing - Mastodon of Comedic Destruction! 

[Paladin]

I went with an hermaphrodite one, they didn't know if they were coming or going...Think about that one for a minute.

haha  good one 

[Fester]

Maybe she was just putting out burning flares . . .
Florida Woman Arrested After Genital Kicking Spree


When the Manatee County Sheriff's office got the call that a woman was standing on a street in broad daylight kicking strangers in the genitals, reports the Miami Herald, they sent an undoubtedly unlucky deputy to investigate.

When the deputy found a woman who matched the description of wearing red pants and braids, he called for her to come towards him. Instead the woman, now identified as Katina Jane Collins, ran for it. As the deputy gave chase, Collins allegedly stopped in her tracks and punched the officer in the face, knocking his sunglasses off. The deputy was able to get Collins on the ground and in handcuffs, despite her alleged attempts to scratch the deputy while he handcuffed her, the report said.

What led Collins to be standing in the "street kicking people in genitals and running around kicking a man," according to an arrest affidavit from the Manatee County Sheriff's Office, is unclear. Collins, a 38- year old resident of Sarasota, Florida, was fresh off of another charge for battery of a police officer. It's unclear if the incidents are related.

According to the Florida Sun-Sentinel, Collins has been charged with battery of an officer and is being held at the Manatee County jail on a $1,500 bond. There is no word on the number of individuals who fell victim to genital kicking spree before police intervened.

Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/02/05/florida-woman-arrested-after-genital-kicking-spree/#ixzz2LEEQSCUG

[Paladin]

   Funny 

[tv horror]

In the U.K they call it footballs or I mean football, well she did have to get her kicks somewhere.

[tv horror]

Hey lady...Why did you kick those men, oh I don't know maybe it was because they're used to going around in pairs.

[Fester]

Its just nuts in Florida.

[tv horror]

Fester you are so right, everything is heading South and I don't mean where those men were kicked...O.k I did mean it it's a fair cop. I'll admit it I need help.

[Fester]

The headline reminded me of my cousin Ernie who majored in Animal Husbandry at Montana State--until they caught him at it . . .

Bill would punish sheepherders who go on the lam

Posted on February 25, 2013

BOISE -- Sheepherders who abandon their animals on the open range could soon be guilty of a misdemeanor, according to a livestock-industry proposal that seeks to enlist the state to help enforce conditions of employment.

The Senate State Affairs Committee agreed to introduce the bill Monday seeking to charge sheepherders with a misdemeanor for going on the lam.

Aiding or abetting somebody leaving their sheep would also be a crime.

Idaho Wool Growers Association director Stan Boyd says foreign workers who leave sheep unattended on the open range have become a big problem.

Even so, some lawmakers were skeptical.

Democratic Sen. Elliot Werk of Boise asked Boyd if he knew of any other job in Idaho where workers could be charged with a crime just for quitting.

Boyd didn't know of any.

http://www.ktvb.com/news/politics/Bill-would-punish-sheepherders-who-go-on-the-lam-193061751.html

Guess there are no sheep in Devon . . .

Drunk man 'tried to have sex with an ambulance'

A 25-year-old drunken man tried to have sex with an ambulance, a court heard.

Callum Ward, 25, was seen "pressing" himself against the emergency vehicle before "simulating a sex act" on the bonnet.

Official police logs show an officer who saw him stated: "It looks as though he is attempting to make love to the front of the ambulance".

Ward was drunk and had taken cannabis and amphetamine and was "in relatively high spirits" before the incident in November in Barnstaple, Devon.

He was first spotted setting fire to a packet of peanuts inside a phone box before mounting the ambulance, Barnstaple Magistrates Court was told.

He was found guilty of being drunk and disorderly and in possession of Class B drugs.

He was sentenced to a community order with a supervision requirement for six months and ordered to pay £60.

Ward, of Barnstaple, told the court: "I did start using drugs and drinking. I have seen the error of my ways with that."

In 2007, Robert Stewart, of Ayr, Scotland, was placed on the sex offenders' register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9870635/Drunk-man-tried-to-have-sex-with-an-ambulance.html

[tv horror]

Well it was an emergency vehicle!