Monster Halloween boxes

[Hepcat]

Taking a cue from 1960s monster cards, the backs will feature horrible jokes:

I really like the idea of the corny jokes! So much like the You'll Die Laughing and Spook Stories cards I collected as a kid.

My wife says the screwdriver joke is objectionable, so I'll probably replace it with, "What did Frankenstein's monster say when he ran for office? 'Volt for me!'"

Did your wife collect these cards back in the day? If she didn't thus work on her apprenticeship, what could she possibly know about corny jokes for the backs of monster boxes?



Incidentally both jokes get my Good Monstering Seal of Approval.

[a71678]

She did not, incidentally... but then, neither did I! I missed the "Spook Stories" craze (which, incidentally, is where I got the idea for putting corny jokes on the back) by a couple decades.  In fact, even when I began to collect non-sports cards as a teenager, I didn't give monster cards much due (except I did have a complete set of "Fright Flicks" stickers, pulled from repackaged Warner fun packs).  It wasn't until I started collecting again about nine years ago that "Spook Stories" and "You'll Die Laughing" (all four series, including the test issue) made their way into my collection.

I got bored over the weekend and started designing the labels for 2019 (yes, I haven't even tested the first series yet, and I've already planned three years out...).  I think I'm going to do urban legends on the back of those, each one starting with "Is it real?" and ending with "What do YOU think?"  Jokes are already prepared for the 2018 series....

[Hepcat]

It wasn't until I started collecting again about nine years ago that "Spook Stories" and "You'll Die Laughing" (all four series, including the test issue) made their way into my collection.

Can you tell us more about the You'll Die Laughing test issue?

[horrorhunter]

Can you tell us more about the You'll Die Laughing test issue?

http://thewrapper.tripod.com/youlldie.html

"Another interesting subtlety of this series are the 18 test cards discussed by Ron Wilson in Wrapper issue #119. Only the real hard-core collectors bother with those though, since they are identical to the regular cards except the numbering sequence is different."

I have them in the binder with my other Creature Feature/You'll Die Laughing sets. They aren't expensive. Since they are identical to regular cards in the '73 series (except for numbering) I only bought them as a completest.

[Hepcat]

Just eighteen cards? I wonder how the test cards were therefore sold/distributed.

[Mike Scott]

Just eighteen cards? I wonder how the test cards were therefore sold/distributed.

If they sold them, they wouldn't be "test" cards.

[Hepcat]

Card sets were test marketed regionally through regular sales outlets. That's how Topps or whoever gauged demand for the issue.



But a "set" of eighteen cards?

[Mike Scott]

Card sets were test marketed regionally through regular sales outlets. That's how Topps or whoever gauged demand for the issue.

Sorry! I was thinking of a different kind of test.

[a71678]

I've mocked up two cards I plan to have printed up for the boxes (one per box -- dealer's choice!) and found a really cool back graphic, but I'm not quite ready to reveal them yet. (My wife, who greeted this entire enterprise with quasi-polite eye rolls from the beginning, had a whole different take on the situation when I told her people were actually offering to pay real money for some of them; now she's cautioning me not to post too much, lest someone hijack my "brilliant" idea... which is to give cool stuff to kids on Halloween, I guess.)

That said, because I'm putting jokes on the backs of the boxes, I wanted to do something different for the backs of the cards (the fronts will resemble Monster Midgee cards, or smaller versions of Spook Stories). Last week, on the way to work, I came up with the idea of using funny monster limericks. I wrote a handful while watching "Svengoolie" on Saturday night, but I can only use two of them. Any favorites? (I know which one I like best!)

'Twas a vampire barber named Rex,
Who took cash, cards and personal checks,
He slicked back his bangs,
And sharpened his fangs,
Swept his chair and shouted, "Whose necks?"

While opening up today's mail,
The mummy, he started to wail,
He was covered in gauze,
From his feet to his jaws,
Seems too much for a little hangnail.

One fine evening in Frankenstein's lab,
Where the monster sat up from his slab,
The good doctor was billed,
For the power he swilled,
He hoped Igor would pick up the tab.

The werewolf, he learned all too soon,
To be dressed, shaved and showered by noon,
If it got dark by chance,
And he weren't wearing pants,
Everybody would see his full moon.

The skeleton, he had to shout it,
Just so nobody ever could doubt it,
"I just can't resist,
This beautiful miss,
I'm in love and there's no bones about it!"

The werewolf, infested with fleas,
Asked the vet if she could help him, please,
She gave him some powder,
But he started to doubt her,
Because all it did was make him sneeze.

[Hepcat]

Will you be offended by constructive criticism?

[horrorhunter]

a71678, you've probably already put more planning into these boxes than went into a lot of the original product intended for kids in the '60s. Part of the charm of that stuff is that it was so goofy. I think any of the limericks would be fine.

Just don't burn yourself out on this project before it comes to fruition. The most important thing to focus on is keep it fun for yourself so it actually gets completed. I'm impressed by your work so far and look forward to adding a set of these to my collection come Halloween time. 

[a71678]

Hepcat, construct away!

Thanks, Horrorhunter. To be honest, right now this project is one of the few things keeping me sane! It's nice to have something to think about and look forward to. I just hope it doesn't rain on Halloween!

[Hepcat]

Hepcat, construct away!

To be honest....

Okay then. I'll be honest. You've blown the metre in every single limerick.



The ideas and rhymes are excellent, but you need to work on the metre. i.e. the beat. This is not at all surprising. Most people don't realize that limericks and other poems typically have a beat. That's why they don't understand the concept of metre, and that's usually where people go wrong when attempting limericks.

A classic limerick is composed of five lines of eight syllables, eight syllables, five syllables, five syllables and eight syllables. The emphasis is on every third syllable thus:

da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

Any word with over one syllable has a heavier accent on a certain syllable. Those syllables should be placed where the stress is in the line, i.e. at the DUMS. For one syllable words the strongest should ideally be placed at the DUMS. The strongest words in any language are the action words, i.e. the verbs, with nouns in second. Articles such as "a" and "the" are not naturally stressed, nor are prepositions, e.g. "to, from, in, by, of", etc.

For example, my limerick below scans thus:

da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM da
da DUM da da DUM da
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

A lithesome young lassie named Wray
Was fearful her boyfriend they'd slay.
When he climbed up the tower
With Fay his fair flower
No more could she do then but pray.



So while mine has the right metre, it isn't exactly classic since the syllable count is different. The easiest way though to write a limerick is to take a really good one such as this one:

There was a young lady from Cork,
Whose Pa made a fortune in pork.
He bought for his daughter,
A tutor who taught her,
To balance green peas on her fork.

And then substitute your own words (without messing up the beat of course).

[Hepcat]

Your limerick:

One fine evening in Frankenstein's lab,
Where the monster sat up from his slab,
The good doctor was billed,
For the power he swilled,
He hoped Igor would pick up the tab.

Pretty good but "hoped" is a strong word and would naturally carry stress. Therefore you have:

da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM
da DUM DUM da da DUM da da DUM

I'd modify it thus:

The dark evening in Frankenstein's lab
When the monster did rise from his slab,
The mad doctor was billed
For the power he swilled
But poor Igor was handed the tab!

da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

Alfred Lord Hepcattyson

[Hepcat]

Yours:

The werewolf, he learned all too soon,
To be dressed, shaved and showered by noon,
If it got dark by chance,
And he weren't wearing pants,
Everybody would see his full moon.

There are problems with both the second and fifth lines. My alternative wordings:

The werewolf he learned all too soon
To shower and dress by high noon.
If it got dark by chance
And he weren't wearing pants,
The ladies would see his full moon.

The werewolf he learned all too soon
To shower and trouser by noon.
If it got dark by chance
And he weren't wearing pants,
The townsfolk would see his full moon.

Alfred Lord Hepcattyson