Styx

[Hepcat]

So Deuce somehow came down with pancreatitis in late November which morphed into liver failure/jaundice. He lost an enormous amount of weight from about 14.7 pounds to 9.3 pounds over the course of his illness but has now rallied and is back up over 10.5 pounds.

Meanwhile our twelve year old cat Styx whom we had rescued off the street bleeding from a fight with another tom in the summer of 2009 seemed jealous of all the attention we were lavishing on Deuce and early last week took to hanging out on the loveseat in the rec room where Deuce has been convalescing. We were pleased that Styx was keeping Deuce company. As a further complication last Wednesday evening we realized that both Deuce and Styx appeared to have contracted cat colds and took them both to the vet Thursday morning. Styx was quite lively and showed a keen interest in whatever the vet was typing into his computer. As we suspected, upper respiratory track infections was the diagnosis. They were each given an antibiotic shot which we were told might not show an effect immediately but should within three or four days. The shot seemed to help Deuce as by Sunday he no longer seemed stuffy, but of course he was still in a recovery mode from the liver problem. But Sunday evening Styx actually looked worse to me than did Deuce.

So we took Styx back the vet yesterday morning. The vet was somewhat concerned as their was a hint of crackling in Styx's lungs but otherwise Styx was alert and active during his re-examination.The vet injected Styx with fluids and prescribed a different antibiotic pill to be administered once per day. By late yesterday evening though I was once again very concerned with the level of lethargy Styx was exhibiting. He just wasn't moving from anywhere we placed him and I was thinking we might have to take him back to the vet this morning. The WOMAN slept on the futon with Styx wrapped in a blanket overnight.

At 6:45 this morning while I was taking a shower, The WOMAN told me that I better come down since Styx was dying. I told her to forget about me and take Styx back to the vet who opened at 7:30 immediately. She replied that I better come too because I might not get another chance to see Styx. It was horrible. He was as limp as a rag doll except every few minutes he was giving out a little mewl of distress/pain.

The upper respiratory tract infection had morphed into pneumonia. The vet said that Styx's chances were at best 50-50. He put Styx on a heating pad and I brought the humidifier we had been using in the cat's convalescent room to humidify the air to help him breath. I okayed intravenous fluid treatments for Styx with more antibiotics to which I gather he seemed to be responding. I was hoping not to hear from either The WOMAN or the vet for the rest of the day at work. The WOMAN's fears were confirmed though. Styx passed away a few minutes past noon.

I'm devastated. I've closed my office door because tears are flowing down my face as I type these words. How could this have happened?  From an upper respiratory tract infection (a common cold) on Thursday to this? He'd had extensive blood work for "geriatric" cats done in November and had received a clean bill of health. There was no sign of the FIV he's been carrying all along kicking in to action. Was there something more I could have/should have done? In retrospect we might have been able to save him had we put him on intravenous yesterday, but there didn't seem to be any need.













RIP my loving friend. Forgive me if I failed you, because given your absolute trust in me I'm not going to forgive myself. Maybe though it was just your time.

[Mord]

 Hep, I really feel for you. My girlfriend & I are both cat lovers and know the heartbreak of losing a beloved pet & friend. Please don't blame yourself, it sounds like you did all you could. Channel all the energy & love to Deuce and possibly some other deserving feline. I'm really so saddened by your loss.
                                   Best wishes,
                                   - Raul (Mord)
PS -I feel that Styx was part of our UMA family after all the lovely photos you've posted through the years.

[Count_Zirock]

So, so sorry for your loss. I don't believe you failed him, at all. You seemed to have done all you could for him. For a cold to progress to pneumonia so rapidly is very rare, but it happens. It just seems so unfair that we outlive our fuzzy companions. Grieve in your own way and in your own time. I still mourn for my little boy, Ignatz, gone two years now.

[Flower]

The pain and guilt of losing a pet is incredible, you don't realize this until it happens to you.  People will honestly tell you that you've given the pet a great life filled with love and everything they could want but it's difficult to accept that a member of the family is gone.  You see them everywhere, expect them to jump onto the bed at night, hear the meows or barks in the distance.

It is unfortunate that cats are great at hiding pain, some will hide and want to be by themselves while others will act 'normal'.

I ran into a neighbor the other day who told me that her cat Cleo had passed and that the experience was overwhelming, I could see the guilt and grief of this woman, who had three children, a husband, another cat, a dog and work.  She force fed the cat every two hours and tried everything in the book but nothing could save Cleo.

It's the quality of our time and not the quantity of time that matters.  Styx lived a great life filled with love and trust.

R.I.P. Styx, you knew that you were loved and are missed by all who knew you.   

[horrorhunter]

Sorry for your loss, Hep.

You did what you could.

Recovering from something like this takes time, but I hope you feel better as soon as possible.

[Most Horrible]

Oh the loss of a beloved pet! They are the best in ourselves, aren't they? I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't beat yourself up, Hepcat.  You did all you could for him - love and care - and Styx knows that. Things like this just happen and I wish we had super powers to make things better. Take care of yourself. We're here for you.

-mh

[Flower]

I spoke to my vet this morning about FIV as we have a cat in for blood tests who is FIV positive.  The vet said that FIV will weaken the immune system so  while there might not be signs of the FIV, the cat's immune system could be weak and the secondary infections will kick in and would be almost impossible to fight.

It sounds like Styx's FIV kicked in slowly as this disease does and  it weakened Styx, who might've caught something from Deuce or the other way around.  There is no cure for FIV, thus once it kicks in no matter what you did, Styx would've died from the FIV and/or its complications.

Kudos for taking in FIV cats as not many people would take that on.  Yes, there is a chance that it might never kick in or kick in at a very young age.  It seems that Styx, after a bloody awful life of scourging on the streets, found love, hope and happiness that most cats would envy.  Better a shorter wonderful life than a life of terror on the streets, where Styx would've died long ago in misery.

Words can not make these things "better" ... it is unfortunate that we all know in the back of our minds that we will more than likely outlive the cute puppy or kitten that we adopt regardless of any health issues.  It doesn't make the pain any less but as in all things, we do our best.

[Haunted hearse]

We still miss our friend Spooky.  Getting over the loss of a feline friend is never easy.

[Hepcat]

Thanks to everyone for the kind words.

Thinking about the sudden events Styx must clearly have been well over twelve years old. He was already walking stiffly like an old man in the summer of 2009 and has not since I've known him been able to run worth a damn. Also he just looked scruffy and old. That's why I made the decision to adopt him despite having three other cats when a neighbour woman got Toronto Animal Control to pick him off our street in 2009 although an elderly lady across the street was feeding him and had provided him with a shelter behind her house. He wasn't cute. Nobody else would have adopted him and Animal Control would have put him down. I couldn't allow that to happen to a cat I knew from the neighbourhood.

Moreover The WOMAN and I had both noticed other signs of old age in Styx in the past year. He'd lost most of the weight he'd gained since we got him because he wasn't eating as much and he was content just to lie on a chair in the sun or in our laps the whole day. The vet actually believes that the FIV must have started to kick in for the cold to progress to pneumonia so quickly. Moreover Styx was far sicker than he should have been given the extent of the lung congestion revealed by the chest X-ray. We believe now that strokes were a factor. His hind legs collapsed under him briefly on Sunday. That must have been a mini-stroke even though the vet found nothing wrong with his legs on Monday. The WOMAN thinks that Styx must have had a big stroke at 4:30 AM on Tuesday morning while she held him wrapped in a blanket because that's when he simply collapsed.

For reasons of age aggravated by years on the street and perhaps the FIV kicking in, his constitution was very delicate. I suspected he wasn't that strong all along because in the back of my head I never expected Styx to last too many years. There's no other explanation for my having kept an annual count of the Christmases with Styx in our lives (now six).

What's difficult for me to bear is that when he started to go down, he didn't hide as most cats do. He came to us for help. And despite being a cat who hardly ever purred or made a sound, he purred or tried to purr in a raspy fashion as his condition worsened. He was asking us to stay with him. And I failed in my efforts to help him. His whimpers of pain/distress on Tuesday morning are going to haunt me for years.

At least when his time came he went down quickly. My only hope is that he knew we were doing all we could for him.









Deuce and Styx at Grandma's Diner



Styx and Ace



Styx and Cowboy

Worrying about Deuce right now is really the only thing preventing me from dwelling more on Styx's sudden end.

[Mord]

 Hep, We've gone through the same guilt with our pets. Trust me, you couldn't have done any more that what you did. You treated him like a son and gave him those wonderful years he wouldn't have otherwise had. I love those tribute photos you posted. It was a pleasure seeing him these past few years. Please don't beat yourself up over this.

[Hepcat]

Truth. Both The WOMAN and I understand that Styx must have been a very old and feeble cat indeed and that the only way we can honour Styx's memory is to be there for Deuce and the other cats.

Deuce

[Hepcat]

I just got word back from the vet. The lab reports that samples from the fluid that had started to build up in Deuce's chest cavity reveal lymphoma, i.e. cancer of the lymph nodes, which is something cats with FIV are five or six times more likely to develop. We can't save his life again like we did in 2007 right after we adopted him since lymphoma in cats is fatal.

We're going to lose another friend. Today he's bright and happy but we're going to have to say goodbye within weeks if not days. I won't let him suffer.

[Flower]

An ancient Hebrew healing prayer for Deuce ..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36_gFK3mHyc

[Mord]

 That's terrible news. Hep. I'm genuinely sorry to hear that. When it rains, it pours. Try to spend as much quality time as you can with Deuce. Trust me, the best thing you can do now is adopt a couple of new "friends". There are many cats there in need of love (my girlfriend volunteered for a cat rescue/adoption organization for a few years). My thoughts are with you  - Raul/Mord

[Wicked Lester]

Hep
Really sorry about your loss. I've been there many times over the years. Seven cats and one Chow. For almost all of them I questioned myself was there something more I could have done. It's just natural. For many of us these animals are not just pets, they are family and when a family member goes away it hurts. Just keep telling yourself that you gave Styx a great home and he was able to enjoy at least a few happy years being part of your family. Take as much time as you need to heal. After our Chow Little Bear passed away it took me over 18mos to pull the trigger and get another dog. Now we have had Willie Gault (half Pit Bull half German Shepherd) for 3 1/2 years and he is like a son to me.

Take care

Mike (WL)