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Universal Monster Army
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WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
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Author
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 507217 times)
Gasport
Sergeant
Posts: 3405
pull my finger...
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #75 on:
May 09, 2008, 10:33:12 PM »
Frankenstein noticed, alas
he had testicles made out of brass
He banged them together to play "Stormy Weather"
and lightening shot out of his ass.
Did i mention I'm actually related to Walt Whitman?...That's him you hear spinning in his grave.
Logged
BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG
Sergeant
Posts: 4004
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #76 on:
May 10, 2008, 12:11:04 AM »
Gasport writ:
Did i mention I'm actually related to Walt Whitman?...That's him you hear spinning in his grave.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear GASPOT... er, GASPORT,
... Smoking THE LEAVES OF GRASS, again, are we?!
The yarns, which I hear olde WALT spinning, in his grave, must be pure hemp! Ex-HEMP-lary!
Now, PACKY PAUL is prolific, specific, and, even, soporific, yet, delectably, non-sophomoric!
... Alas, Poor Yorick!
```````````````````````````````````
The UMA is blessed, with odd minds,
Letting Limericks, fly, unconfined,
I harbour, not, the least shred, of doubt
that, there's madness about,
which we caught, from olde Doc Frankenstein!
````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
Logged
Meek
Sergeant
Posts: 1379
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #77 on:
May 10, 2008, 09:46:16 AM »
"The way coupling of words can misbehave
Often cause poets to turn over in their grave.
Shelley and Byron,
Were out loud a-cryin'
And Whitman spun 'round like a lathe."
Logged
"I am like a Unicorn in a racing stable. Beast doesn't fit." T.E.Lawrence
Crazy1van
Sergeant
Posts: 1786
Salty sea-dog in the Universal Monster Navy
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #78 on:
May 11, 2008, 02:29:14 AM »
When Bela's full moon curse ascended
he went out and killed a young peasant
He ripped her heart from her chest,
wrote on it "I LOVE YOU BEST!"
to give Maleva for a Mother's Day present
PS: Happy Mother's Day to all you UMA moms out there!
Logged
Homo homini lupus
"Man is a wolf to man"
http://www.pjfarmer.com/woldnewton/Talbot.pdf
BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG
Sergeant
Posts: 4004
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #79 on:
May 11, 2008, 10:35:08 PM »
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
```````````````````
Rememb'ring our MOMS is quite nice, I think!
We know, of One, tho', both, deadly & fright'ning,
Whose MONSTER SON, killed, just, for the sport!
YGOR, his best friend, voiced an insight, so right;
He exclaimed, with a JOLT, that: "Your Mother vas LIGHT'NINGK!"
```````````````````````````````````````
... I agree with CRAZY IVAN... doth that make Moi Crazy, too?!
... CRAZY, about our MOMS, GOD Bless Them, all!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
Logged
BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG
Sergeant
Posts: 4004
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #80 on:
May 13, 2008, 12:25:15 AM »
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... So many limericks; so little time... on my personal calendar... &, too much time, on my hands!
Obviously!
... Am I the Master of Understatement, or, what?! Here's the next teaser to start the Limerick madness brewing a-fresh!
````````````````````````````````````
FULCI'S Italian ZOMBIES are evil & mean;
Aside, from their being rotted & green;
They'll devour your entrails, like spaghetti;
Feast, on your brains; &, before you're ready;
They'll make mince-meat out of your spleen!
````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON Von WOLFSTEIN & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
Logged
packy120353
Sergeant
Posts: 1845
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #81 on:
May 13, 2008, 09:53:03 AM »
As usual - I'm late for Mother's Day! But persevere I do, yes Ma(s)ter. You see...
I don't have to "remember" my Mom
For I think about her all the year long.
Though in 83 she bought hers,
I still see her in my daughters.
www.I miss you dot com!
love packy
Logged
Meek
Sergeant
Posts: 1379
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #82 on:
May 13, 2008, 10:35:05 AM »
Were you aware that May 12th was "National Limerick Day"? Neither did I until I was watching "The Tonight Show":
Last night Jay Leno did say
May 12th was National Limerick Day.
I thought "What is this?"
How could I've been so remiss?
But Limericks do thrive in the UMA.
A cannibal rather chummy
With a 2nds in his tummy,
Suddenly began to frown
From that last slice of clown
Declaring "Coo, that didn't taste half funny.
Logged
"I am like a Unicorn in a racing stable. Beast doesn't fit." T.E.Lawrence
packy120353
Sergeant
Posts: 1845
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #83 on:
May 13, 2008, 11:03:24 AM »
When The Creature's Mom was a young-dish,
she and her hubby had but one-wish
to open a diner
and it couldna been finer -
til somebody ordered the Lungfish!
Logged
Crazy1van
Sergeant
Posts: 1786
Salty sea-dog in the Universal Monster Navy
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #84 on:
May 13, 2008, 07:22:41 PM »
Waldemar Daninksy drove out to the lake
to find the cause of his new tummy ache
His reflection didn't quibble;
he'd gotten round in the middle
Seems he's too old to keep eating Cheesecake.
Logged
Homo homini lupus
"Man is a wolf to man"
http://www.pjfarmer.com/woldnewton/Talbot.pdf
Crazy1van
Sergeant
Posts: 1786
Salty sea-dog in the Universal Monster Navy
Spider Baby lyrics
«
Reply #85 on:
May 13, 2008, 08:21:40 PM »
In honor(?) of yesterday's National Limmerick Day, I'm posting all four stanzas of Fantomas' SPIDER BABY theme song. They don't follow exact limmerick rules, but they 'feel' right.
Screams and moans and bats and bones
Teenage monsters in haunted homes
The ghosts on the stair
The vampires bite
Better beware, there's a full moon tonight
Cannibal spiders creep and crawl
Boys and ghouls having a ball
Frankenstein, Dracula and even the Mummy
Are sure to end up in someone's tummy
Take a fresh rodent, some toadstools and weeds
And an old owl and the young one she breeds
Mix in seven legs of an eight-legged beast
Then you are all set for a cannibal feast
Sit around the fire with the cup of brew
A fiend and a werewolf on each side of you
This cannibal orgy is strange to behold
And the maddest story ever told
Logged
Homo homini lupus
"Man is a wolf to man"
http://www.pjfarmer.com/woldnewton/Talbot.pdf
neonnoodle
Sergeant
Posts: 1706
Horror Express
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #86 on:
May 13, 2008, 09:35:39 PM »
Oh, I love that Spider Baby song.
Logged
Beautiful moving, shifting colors!
See TRANSLUCE: Rainbow Meditation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz5aqIhYI_Q
BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG
Sergeant
Posts: 4004
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #87 on:
May 14, 2008, 12:49:21 AM »
DEAR UMA FANG-MILY,
... WOWSERS! &, Hubba Hubba ! Youse Guys {& MEEK} are LIMERICK FREAKS!
Nor, was I aware, of NATIONAL LIMERICK DAY, when I posted, yesterday! I wrote it on the 12th, but, posted it, in the wee small hours, o' the 13th.... even, as I write this, at 1:47 A.M., on the 14th.
````````````````````````````````````````
THE WOLF MAN, in the moon-lit forest, howls,
Loping, through fog-shrouded woods, he prowls,
Leaping, upon his victim, with snarls & growls,
In blood-thirsty violence, he disembowels,
So scary, that, even, the owls, throw in the towel!
`````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
Logged
Crazy1van
Sergeant
Posts: 1786
Salty sea-dog in the Universal Monster Navy
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #88 on:
May 14, 2008, 07:39:47 AM »
While Dracula enjoys walks in the moonlight
He really loves the Creatures of the Night
The music they make
Pierced his heart like a stake
Which in retrospect wasn't too bright!
Logged
Homo homini lupus
"Man is a wolf to man"
http://www.pjfarmer.com/woldnewton/Talbot.pdf
BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG
Sergeant
Posts: 4004
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
«
Reply #89 on:
May 14, 2008, 11:02:57 AM »
Dear Brother, IVAN,
... This paean hath been writ, to immortalize Thy lugubrious contributions, by which we, all, are, oddly, awed!
``````````````````````````````````
CRAZY IVAN, we must agree, is, aptly, named,
For his sense, of verse, is, provocatively, maimed;
Yet, his pow'r, of reason, is, not, completely, blown,
As he rescues his thread, of logic, with admirable mien,
Redeeming the skewed, by leaving no turn, unstoned.
```````````````````````````````````````````
Your infectionate, er, affectionate, WEREWOLF UNCLE,
BARON "Do You See What You've Done, You Shameless Mad-man?! You've Made Me Cry 'WOLF' & 'UNCLE' In The Same Sentence!"... And, as the final Topper, you've gotten me, so rattled, that, I've forgotten my last name! NOW, WHO'S THE CRAZY ONE, EH?!?!?!
Logged
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WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
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