WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead

[BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG]

Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... On behalf, o' all our contributing POETS {and, I use this word, in the kindest, and, most prolific, of exaggerations} , I offers Ye, all, this WORD O' WARNIN':
                      ---------------------------------------------------
                       YOU KEEP READIN', AND, WE'LL KEEP WRITIN'!
                      ---------------------------------------------------
... HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, AD 2009, B.G.G., and, GOD Bless You, MEEK!
                        "ERIN, GO BRA-LESS!" ... XENA, TOO! 
  **********************************************************

            Me workday, again, is done; too, the settin' o' ST. PADDY'S sun,
            Like DRACULA, now, I Bloody Suck... at makin' Limerick Puns!
            PRIMATES & GENERALS post, on This Thread,
            Yet, the Rank & File are the UMA's local UNDEAD,
            Like, PACKY, IVAN, MAURICE & Moi, who, daily, stick, to our guns!

  **********************************************************
                                      EXANIMO EVERNOW,       
              ST. TIMMY O'BARON & GREEN BEER, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G

[Crazy1van]

It's hard to follow Tim's act
So I may have to throw out my tact
There's just no other way
on this St Paddy's Day
if we're to keep our limmerick thread intact.

Ivan O'Shaunnaski

[tv horror]

Shackles abound with the Barons alter ego, The dreaded Tim is no mere mortal. His demands are legendary he wants us to make whoopee on this thread, but what more can we do to satisfy this human beast. I feel a pity for the poor misunderstood werewolf who has to share this thing of unspeakable evil.


One day they are going to make us a Baron collectible,
I for one will gladly display it for it will be delicable,
Through all Tim's faults he is not a bad fellow,
But get on the wrong side and he will bellow,
So I ask the UMA members to make the Baron more formidable.

[BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG]

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                 LARRY TALBOT treated the Singer, rather, like, a swine,
                 Displeased, as he was, with THE SONG OF NEW WINE.
                 Incensed, by the Toast, of "Living, forever",
                 He wanted, to die; unleashed, from Life's tether,
                 Freed, from his Curse, with the Help, of DR. FRANKENSTEIN!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                      EXANIMO EVERNOW, 
            TIMMY & THE BARON & CLASSIC MONSTERS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G 

[Crazy1van]

"Mister Taylor" did cry out in protest
When long life was promised, in jest
But when flooded with water
Herr Frankenstein's daughter
Saw that Larry could finally get some rest

[BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG]

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

             Olde IM-HO-TEP could exercise stange occult powers,
             To win HELEN GROSVENOR'S Love, without flowers,
             FRANK WHEMPLE was a dandy,
             Who'd have plied her, with Candy;
             THE MUMMY'S Doom came, in mere seconds, not, hours!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                      EXANIMO EVERNOW,   
            TIMMY & THE BARON & CLASSIC MONSTERS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G 

[BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG]

                            My Beloved UMA FANG-MILY,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:

                   I write Limericks, "to hold down the Fort",
                    Until, our noble UMA Troops issue a retort,
                    Yet, sometimes, my rhymings,
                    Filled, with odd meters & timings,
                    Prove my brain "a day, late, &, a dollar, short"! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:
                                  EXANIMO EVERNOW,   
         TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G 

[Crazy1van]

No worries, Tim; your rhyming and verse
Is always welcome here, for better or worse
Though your visage is scary
and your palms may be hairy
I'm glad you share with us your curse

... of writing limericks, of course!

[BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG]

  ... Thanks, Br'er IVAN, for that final note, of Clarification!
     ...  Even Non-WEREWOLVES can be afflicted, with...
          Well, you know ... Don't say, we didn't warn you!
     ... I think IVAN has been ship-board, too long... and, his mind is a-wanderin'!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,     
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G

[tv horror]

Oh these two werewolves are doing my head in,
If they keep on posting I'll soon be in the loony-bin,
Daily now I struggle with my evil side,
But because of my practise I can't afford to slide,
My good side wants to relax while my evil side keeps slippin.


Message from Mr Tv Horror:
PLEASE IGNORE THE ABOVE RANT, HE'S A GOODY TWO SHOES WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE WANTS. AS MY FRIEND THE BARON SAYS POSTINGS ARE GOOOOOOD!

[BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG]

  ================================================>

        Another strangely conflicted note, from that Irish Fella,
        About his split-personality, and, how one don't smella,
        You see, if one stubs his toe,
        The other avenges POE,
        They're, both, RAVEN Mad, in Honour, of BORIS and BELA!

              {And, that's, all, I'm gonna tell ya!}
================================================>
                                 EXANIMO EVERNOW,   
        TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G

[BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG]

                          raycastile writ:
       My brother is a cop and my dad is a retired cop.
       I have a cousin who is a cop.
       So it is a wonder I didn't become a cop.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Brother RAYMOND,
... Oh, NOOOOO! I FEEL A LIMERICK COMING ON!
Please, observe:
      ~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~ 

           I would, rather, cop a feel, than, feel a a cop,
           I'd rather cop a plea, than, say: "Please, stop!",
           These voices in my head,
           Are COFFIN RAY'S Undead,
           And, when the going gets tough, the Undead go, out, and, SHOP!

      ~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~     

... But, more, about Moi, later!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
                          ~~~ POST'S CRYPT ~~~
Mi apologetto, if'n ya'll read this before... but, it belongs, here, too, being a Limerick!
In the interest, of Art, I changed the last line...          

[BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG]

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               We "sprung* forward", just, one week, ago,
               Wish Mother Nature would stop the snow,
               As blossoms uncurl,
               I cry, like, a girl,
               To see them, all, frozen; a heart-breaking blow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                             *Springed? Sprang?
                             EXANIMO EVERNOW,
    TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.

[Crazy1van]

The Baron must be on a roll
He even writes poems about snow
His lyrical leisures
Must give the rest of us seizures
And that why he's stealing the show

[BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG]

  ******************************************************
                         AHHH, SHOW BIZ...
                        ----------------------
       If, I'm "on a roll", then, I shan't throw, in the TOWEL,
       IVAN butters me up, like, my Limericks are "WOW!"
       "Stealing the show", by penning these lines,
       Is, like, the Grave Situation, of DR. FRANKENSTEIN,
       "*That special feeling, when you are stealing that extra" BOWEL!

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      * i.e., "Nowhere do you get..." Thank you, ETHEL MERMAN! { Get it?! }
                         IRVING, "Ich been ein BERLINER!"
                                  EXANIMO EVERNOW,
         TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.