Good moaning everyone! I'm not Irish but most of you are painfully aware that I write limericks. A reknown member whom we refer to as Meek suggested recently that we might trade limericks on St. Paddy's day. To that end I have come up with three little doozies and sorry Meek, I like you too much to make you bear this horror on your own so for your own good I am spreading the pain around evenly. Please no offense meant to anyone I like and any similarities to a real person is purely inevitable. Also do let me know what you think of these, only one is really monster-related (but it's my favorite). Readem and weep:
The Irish and Martians have been
interbreeding again and again.
There's proof they're related -
both their homes populated
with nothing but little green men!
Our children today are misled.
Watching TV until time for bed.
While their parents get stewed
Irish kiddies are cued
by St Patrick on Spongebob instead.
An Irish Vampire has got to
suck your blood even though he knows not to
But you can't really blame
when revealed his name
is none other than Nosfer O'Atu
Peace be to Ireland
pk
Well now, I'm not Irish nor do I play one on TV but I do have an Irish sense of humour(that's what happens when the USAF crosses with the Luftwaffe), so I shall rise to the challenge and add a few of my own.
The first one 'tis my own, written whilst I had a cogitate in a hot bath this fine morning after removing 3 inches of wet snow from the sidewalks:
"Fritz had a right dirty job,
What with assorted graves to rob.
Dr. Henry stated that
He must wear a cravat,
And Fritz thought to himself "Coo, wot a snob!"
The rest are classics from Bennett Cerf's "Out On a Limerick":
"There was a young monk in Siberia
Whose existence grew steadily drearier.
Until he broke from his cell
With a Hell of a yell,
And eloped with the Mother Superior."
"There once was a spinsterish lass
Who constructed her patties from brass.
When asked "Do they chafe?"
She replied "Yes, but I'm safe---
From pinches and snakes in the grass."
"There was a yong lady from Tottenham,
Whose manners she'd quite forgotten 'em.
While at tea at the Vicker's,
She took off her knickers,
Explaining she was much too hot in 'em."
"The limerick is furtive and mean
And you must keep her in close quarantine
Or she sneaks off the to slums
And immediately becomes,
Disorderly, drunk and obscene."
Today I'm wearing my Notre Dame green sweatshirt and people will ask if I attended said college and I always reply "No, but I have a crooked back." and watch the puzzled look on their faces.
Hoots!
"Meek"
Paul: Since I've been sifting the sands of time in my room in a vain attempt to put things in order I've had to put my limericking on the back burner until just a short while ago---looks like it'll just be you and me doing this.
Well, hold yer nose and here we go:
"Elder Robert of the UMA
Has many a collection---they say.
From worldly Vincent Price
He's got knick-knacks quite nice,
But how much he spent he won't say."
"When Jane & Max did wed
Many thought Jane's reason had fled.
But its really no surprise,
For Jane is exceedingly wise
And had always be told she'd get a head."
"A certain Pvt. named "Meek"
With an Avatar depicting a Sheik
Is often prosaic
About things archaic
And likes to give the odd ego a tweak."
And one from Bennett Cerf:
"An accident really uncanny
Befell a respectable granny:
She sat down on a chair
While her false teeth were there
And bit herself right in the fanny."
"Meek"
Meek, stereotypical librarian,
Had an inner life oh so barbarian.
She wanted to make
Like a certain fair sheik--
But was trapped in a life too agrarian.
General Terry is always a'tellin'
Of his passion for a dame named Helen.
If this reached his dear wife
Just think of the strife
There'd be no end to all of the yellin'.
"The UMA is very well known
As being humorously prone.
With high-flown quips,
And occasional snips
Its always guaranteed for a groan."
Come on you lot, crank up yer brains and write a few effing limericks!
"Meek"(talking to myself)
I'm too preoccupied tonight to think straight but here's one of my favorite old ones in case you forgot it!
The Hunchback ate beans, not a few.
And filled his belltower with "phew!".
So instead of that perch
He came down to the Church,
taking sanctuary in his own pew.
You guys are putting up some great ones! Thanks for posting these.
I'd love to participate but I'm afraid my limericks all involve "Girls from Gavot", "Men from Nantuckett" and "Men from Trent". Not suitable for this forum I'm afraid. (But funny.)
Creepy Jeff (indeed)
You forgot the Old Lady From France . . .
and you forgot...the girl from Galoobs (there once was)
Y'know, I'm about Limericked out for now and ready to move back to more mature and intelligent conversation. BRAAP hey who baked one? Heehaw!
Ahem. Good moaning, indeed.
In a certain European area
Of the wee village of Vasaria.
Locals are always out of luck
When various monsters run amok
And they live in a state of hysteria.
Packy's rhyming skill has shown
To cause an occasional moan.
But of late his poor brain
Has suffered a strain
And Meek is stuck in The Limerick Zone.
A cat in despondency sighed,
and planned to commit suicide.
She fell under the wheels
of eight automobiles--
And after the ninth one, she died!
DEAR UMA FANG-MILY,
... Considering that we are professionals, our decorum should be of a proper gravity, and, educational, as well. Hence, i make this offering:
In the UMA Army, so gay,
It is free, so, no-one must pay,
Yet, there once was an Ootmah,
A WEREWOLF, who'd shoot ya,
If, you said, that, he wears a toupee!
Happy ST. PADDY'S WAGON!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON O'WOLF-BLARNEY-STONE
There was a young fella named Max,
Lost his head people said to an axe.
Through life he keeps sloggin,
Though he's just a noggin
And his pal Jim Beam helps him relax.
That UMA General, named TERRY,
Has an odd body, quite hairy,
Now, on his trusty web-cam,
He smears his body, with SPAM...
Reminds me, of MOE, CURLY, & LARRY!
Three cheers now for Mr. Jim Bertges!
He stifles his blood-spillin' urges
With daily good deeds--
But the whole village bleeds
When he's out on the "nacht" of Walpurgis!
And what about Matsui (Rodd)?
His twin was seen acting quite odd!
Said Rodd, "That was no twin,
For I saw him begin
As a bubbly blank blob--in a pod!"
There's a young Jersey Devil called Rob,
Who has plans to pull off a sly job--
So look out, Mr. Shank!
Tullo vows he will yank
Souvenirs from your bucket of BLOB!
THE PUN OF FRANKENSTEIN:
-------------------------------
Puts the "ICK!" in Limerick, eh, wot?!
````````````````````````````
Sir Robert o' Taylor, 'tis said,
Haunts a house, in Ohio, with dread,
As Dear Friend, of BORIS' Daughter, SARA,
His knowledge could scare ya,
Into turning your beds head-to-head.
Our old Timotheus, the Baron,
In daylight is sometimes called Herron--
But at dusk, when he howls,
How he startles the owls
With that fearful greasepaint he's a-wearin'!
Here's 2 for now. Maybe more if I can find the time.
In Ohio was the Taylor collection
It had clutter in every direction.
But Karloff and Price
Made it real nice
In fact, it was a thing of perfection.
In Pittsburgh we find our chum Max
Whose sobriety had become lax
He is a nice fellow
And is usually mellow
But autograph frauds he attacks.
Where the deuce were all of you with yer limericks back on St. Patrick's Day?
Hmmmmn, these must be time-released limericks . . .
Do keep 'em coming!
"Meek"
The Necronomicon?? You can't be shown one!
While the libraries never will loan one!
But if it's so rare
And guarded with care
Why does every nutcase seem to own one?
- Dennis Maggard
Our dear Severed Head; who's named MAX,
Is a particularly sharp champion, of facts;
Yet, losing his head, 'tis reportedly said,
'Twas done, with THE TOWER OF PUN-DOM'S AXE!
typhooforme writ:
Our old Timotheus, the Baron,
In daylight is sometimes called Herron--
But at dusk, when he howls,
How he startles the owls
With that fearful greasepaint he's a-wearin'!
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Elder Brother ROBERT!
... Is it Moi? Or, is there a draft, in here? ... Now - Thanks to you! - I shalt have to undergo ye tedious, expensive Cosmetic Surgery ... for, reading your insightful humour, I laughed mine Arse OFF... COMPLETELY! {'Tis no cheap thing, to replace one's hind-quarters!}
It only hurts when I sit!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON "OWLS WELL THAT ENDS WELL" Von WOLFSTEIN
That murderous man, COFFIN RAY,
Has "toys in the attic", they say,
He's mad, but, he's real,
With vegan sex-appeal,
A CAST-STEEL Trouper, o' THE UMA!
Kind of non-Limericky but what do you think I was doing this afternoon?
A Vampire dark and full of fright
Glared down from on my roof this night -
said "It's all right, I vill not bite,
just taking down your Christmas lights!"
And to keep up here's another proper limmy skeleton from my closet:
Once needing more juice than was able,
a monster lay pouting on table.
His capacitors leak,
cosmic power is weak,
So he's begging the Doctor for cable.
Oh and who could forget:
As Count Dracula slowly ascends,
from the Shady View Rest Home of mens.
It's not blood that was stoled,
"It's no fun being this old -
ven you haf to filch somevun's Depends!"
Now for a different point of view...
There's a human on top of my bed.
If he moves I can bite off his head.
But not even a rustle,
Packy won't move a muscle.
Tonight I go hungry instead.
A better ambush I must choose.
Tomorrow the closet I'll use.
When he opens the door
I'll grab him before
He can see that I'm not tennis shoes.
Quote from: packy120353 on April 04, 2008, 03:16:57 PM
Oh and who could forget:
As Count Dracula slowly ascends,
from the Shady View Rest Home of mens.
It's not blood that was stoled,
"It's no fun being this old -
ven you haf to filch somevun's Depends!"
Packy, The Depends one cracked me up--er, uh...must be my age or something!
QuotePacky, The Depends one cracked me up--er, uh...must be my age or something!
You mean "The Age of Crackquarius"? Thanks Robert for chuckling! Now go get a paper towel. Mommy, wow!
Dear Brothers, PACKY & ROBERT,
... "Excellent, Mr. Renfield, Excellent!" Charming limericks; except, for that line about:
"hafing to filch somevun's depends!" Poor Olde DRAC! As he & I are so closely associated, it brings a sad down-turn, to the usual allure, of Vampiric 'eternal life'. : {
... Hopefully, this is not too "Olde School"! You younger kids might have to look it up, on-line.
``````````````````````````````````
Our Mr. Brooks, Conrad, by name,
Achieved, long ago, his 15 minutes, of fame,
Not satisfied, he, with mere memory,
Of his past bouquet, of cinematic flowers,
Now, they call him Conrad Add-An-Hour!
``````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
They'll have to get out their encyclopedias to find out who Conrad Adenaur was--that is IF they know how to opeerate an encyclopedia.
"Meek"(if pigs had wings they'd be eagles)
I'm ancient enough to remember Konrad Adenauer. He always looked like he was weaned on a pickle. Gosh, Meek, who'd a thunk the Irish limericks would take this turn!?
Brother Elder ROBERT & MEEK,
... Who'da thunk, indeed! The continuance of Limerick logic answers this question, below:
Limericks, 'tho' Irish, in origin,
Educate; they help us, to think & learn,
That is why, this 'bird-brained', obtuse turn,
About Konrad, via Her{r}on, can make us grin,
And, then, lead us, to an Arctic Tern!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
The was, once, a Professor, named GRIFFIN,
Whose '70's Monsters would glow, and, iffin,
You wanted to know anything 'bout his show,
He'd show you just what you were missin'!
Though real men might not eat quiche
I have a Wolfman on a leash.
He'll eat more than eggs-
he'll consume both your legs
not to mention your arms, kapiche?
When Larry was bit on the moors
his life became horribly cursed
His teeth become fangs
And he grows out his bangs
But the cost of flea collars is the worst
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... Since we're on the topic, of 'direct lineage', here's a spot of remembrance:
````````````````````````````````
THE WEREWOLF OF LONDON'S my friend,
We know, tho', he was DR. GLENDON,
By day; yet, when the full moon held sway,
His Wolfish gullet was full, until a bullet, let go,
Brought his miserable, Monster-ous, life to an end.
````````````````````````````````
Posts-crypt:
... Nice work, PACKY & IVAN {Crrr-azy, man, Crrr-azy!}
Grand to see you limber about being on the limerick wrack!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
When met by the Invisible Man
You should keep your possessions in hand
As a thief he got wealthy
by being so stealthy
And I must admit I'm a big fan
VONDERFUL, IVAN!
... I bet you're a BIG FAN of FRANKENSTEIN, too... An ELECTRIC FAN!
Here are a couple more, from "Yours, Truly"!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Phantom of the Opera, 'twas said,
Slept, in a coffin, for his bed,
When he didn't awaken, there was no mistakin',
That, the locals were, now, free, of dread!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quasimodo was tired, of his plight,
So the Rack, seemed, to be the cure, right?
For a moment, he stood straighter & taller,
Then, he let loose a intolerable holler;
... Well, we, all, had a HUNCH, he'd be BACK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
Oh, Baron, that last one was almost cruel! That bell-ringer has more than paid his toll already.
:D
The Bride the doc made for his creature
Was a vision with resplendent features
In the lab dressed in white
She regarded her plight
By cementing her role as a screecher
A limerick's a hard thing to write;
It must have a rhythm just right.
You ruin the song
With a line that's too long--
Even if you work in a cool idea about a vampire crumbling to dust from being exposed to the light!
Frankenstein's Monster
Followed him to the Arctic
It may live there still
Oh, wait, this isn't the Haiku thread, is it?
Crazy1van writ:
Oh, wait, this isn't the Haiku thread, is it?
****************************
HAI-Kuuuu!!!... Gesundheit!
These are Limerick 'sneezes',
Not, some verbal 'fart', or, fight,
Too short, or, too looooooooong,
They're a Monster Kid's song;
So, for God's sake, try to write it right!
`````````````````
IVAN & MAX might dispute,
the length of a Limerick, so cute;
Yet, try as they might,
So long as they get it right,
We'll all laugh & say: "It a 'BEAUT'!"
*** WARNING - BLANK VERSE -
* Not to be confused with HAIKUUU, FRAU BLEUCHER, or LIMERICK! *
*Read at your own risk*
{... Not to be confused with a BUTTE,
which is that usual comical anatomical thing,
which you'll find, comprising the rump,
of HANNAH, MONTANA!... Unless, the mockery,
of that sort of thing is your BREAD & BUTTE-R!}
APRIL FUELS DAY!
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G. THE BUTTE OF MANY JOKES! B.G.G.
In the interest of rhyming meter, as prescribed for limericks, I've re-worked a couple of my previous attempts... Better, or, Worse - what think Ye? Speak, now, or, forever, write your own limericks! ;^} "Forever?!" Horrors! That's a loooonnnngggg time to have to write Limericks!
````````````````````````````
Quasimodo, tired, of his plight,
Deemed, as the cure, THE RACK, right?
He stood straighter & taller,
Then, loosed an intolerable holler;
Well, we, all, had a HUNCH, he'd be BACK!
```````````````````````````````
THE WEREWOLF OF LONDON'S my friend,
We knew him as DR. GLENDON, by day;
Yet, when the full moon held sway,
His Wolfish gullet he'd fill,
'til a bullet, let go,
brought his miserable life to an end.
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
Baron, please! You've written fine limmericks.
They're as beloved as Halloween Treats-N-Tricks.
There's no need to rewrite 'em
so long as I don't have to fight 'em
Since the monsters all live in your lyrics.
Dear CRAZY BROTHER IVAN,
... Thanks, muchly, for your vote of confidence; 'tis mutual!
We WEREWOLVES have to stick together - I recommend SUPER-GLUE!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
The case of poor Paula Dupree
Is a wild captive jungle tragedy
Through science she was groomed
But her nature was doomed
At least in death she is finally free
Dear FANG-MILY,
... I awoke, at 5:45 AM, with this little ditty dancing in my head!
`````````````````````````````````
Our BENNIE, as GILL-MAN, wished to sire a new race,
The second he beheld JULIE ADAMS' gorgeous face,
Along came RICHARD DENNING, the man, who was winning,
Knocking THE CREATURE, back, into second place!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
There once was a MONSTER, named FRANK,
Who saved UNIVERSAL, by filling up banks,
He was, more, than equal, to making many sequels,
and, luckily, for us, not one of them stank!
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
E-GADS! ... Or, E-GOR! A thread, which like the subject, of this above edgarallanpoetic, cannot die; is indestructible... Ladies & Germs, I give you... "THE LIMERICK!"
Mua-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Et-Cetera!
... Sure beats "A SHRUBBERY!"... but, not, by much! ;^}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON Von WOLFSTEIN, UMA OOTMAH & JUNE PIN-UP GAL, AD 2006
Then I too shall endeavor to see this topic survive into the next millenium... or at least the next month!
There once was a man named Ardeth Bey
Whose skin was quite parched and looked grey
Known as Im-Ho-Tep
In ancient Egypt
He had a love only a mummy could face
I've decided to throw in what's called a "Clerihew", that's a variation of limerick where the first line contains the name of someone, famous or infamous, and consists of only 4 lines; the 1st & 2nd lines rhyme and the 3rd & 4th lines rhyme.
"Young Henry Frankenstein
Unkind Fate did undermine.
Was totally out of luck
When the Monster ran amok."
Think "Burma Shave" slogans and you can't go wrong.
"Meek"
Whilst played the WEDDING MARCH,
The new-born BRIDE, with extra starch,
Didst, toward DR. PRETORIUS, stride -
He, madly, cried, without regret,:
"Why, there's life in the olde girl, yet!"
In Honour of CLASSIC MONSTERDOM'S Literary connection:
````````````````````````````````````````````
WALPURGIS-NACHT proved, in DRACULA's Castle,
For JONATHAN HARKER, to be a real hassle.
THE COUNT, for MINA, got "The Hots",
So, he led her, to his Carfax lair, to "wrassle",
But, Van HELSING staked him, so, now, DRAC rots!
```````````````````````````````````````
... HAPPY WALPURGIS NIGHT!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
MEEK sneezed:"A-Clerihew"! ... GESUNDHEIT!!!
Sorry! Hope I didn't cause you a serious fright!
'Tis the sound, that I make, whene'er I take,
A nose-full, of Pepper, but, then, like a leper,
My nose goes a-flyin', quite out of sight!
```````````````````````````````
Dearest MEEK,
... I "HEW", to help you "CLERI"-FY,
with this aulde reprise, I prize:
Want the thing
That's all the rage?
Then get yourself
A BURMA SHAVE!
``````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
The Phantom hid, the Vampire prowled
The Monster groaned, the Wolf Man howled
The Late Night Shows played them Friday Night
Made my childhood such delight
Uh-Oh! Dear FANG-MILY...
Another LIMERICK!
````````````````````````````````````
There is a MONSTER-OUS GENT, named FORRY,
Who begat the latter-day MONSTERS' Story,
I shan't, even, hint, at, nor, mention,
What he does, at Horror/Sci-Fi Conventions,
Since his singing is, not, at all, GORY!
````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
Oh my, have you heard?
Frankenstein went in to a hattery,
put his fist through the window - t'was shattery!
When the cops asked why,
said "My electrodes are dry
and I'd like to charged with battery!"
"Fritz had quite a few 'bewares'
Like trying hard not to fall down the stairs.
But the wonky steps were steep
Where he tripped over his feet
And now Fritz is in the shop for repairs."
MEEK, PACKY, &, IVAN,
... {Which is better than a Meat-Packing Eye-Van!}
... Your work is like alcohol to an alcoholic;
like song to a bird;
like... a smudge on my best shirt! Darnit! How did that get there?!
... Oh, sorry... like a Monster to the UMA!
Anyway you catch my drift;
... If Limericks be the Food of Love, then... brain-death is imminent!
WRITE ON!... Is that how we used to spell that slogan back in the '60's?! It doesn't look rite!
MOOR, sune!
BARREN TIE-MOTH-EH,YOUSE!
(no more early morning bloody marys)
Dracula once woke up screamin
his skin burnt as though by a demon!
Then felt such a fool
realized he was cool
in his coffin and only day dreamin
Dear PACKY: BRAVO! DRAC'S "Future's so bright, he gotta wear shades!"
... and super-uva/uvb suntan lotion!
```````````````````````````````
YGOR got his "nose, out-of-joint",
For, "They hanged me", in violent force;
So, he persuaded THE MONSTER,
To divide and conquer,
But, his victims sure got the point!
```````````````````````````````
NEEEXXXTTT!!!
BARON Von LIMERICKSTEIN
Baron you are per...I mean IN - spiring!
A certain young Baron - no ruffian,
ate an entire buffet, even muffin!
When asked "What the heck?"
Said "What did you expect?
They don't call me Wolfman for nothin'!"
Bone Appetit!
Working in Dr. Pretorious' lab
Karl found to be sometimes rather drab.
But he often supplied
Spare parts on the side,
Being adept at the ol' "slash & stab".
"The Black Lagoon's Creature was no fool,
But young lasses bathing made him a'drool.
When ladies were out for a swim
The Creature would then jump right in
And invite them to come join his gene pool."
There once was a girl named Irene
Whose hair was a bright shade of green
when asked how she dyed it, she simply confided
I just use the juice from my spleen!
*
Quoted from the song "Igor" by John Zacherle, 1958
Br'er PACKY PAUL:
... You were correct, the first time! However, 'tis no sweat, off, of my nose... er, snout!
One, of the few places, where I do not perspire!
... Thanks, MEEK, and, GASPORT, for your continuance of this immoral.. er, immortal thread; a veritable umbilicus, to the Pit... unless it meets a Pendulum! And, no pit-hy remarks, out of you, MEEK!
````````````````````````````
There once was a girl, named MEEK,
Who was, terribly, full, of "cheek",
She would, easily, speak her mind,
Aggressively, like FRANKENSTEIN,
Especially, when taking a leek*!
``````````````````````````
{*You know, those Onions, of which we English are so very fond! Get your bloomin' minds out o' the gutter!}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
I think I've heard about that layer absconder! (The tale of the nom de plume 'n Sacre Bloom'n !)
As an artist she's Meek but a killer,
can crack us up like Phyllis Diller.
Her relatives kin ta
somebody named Linda,
en Francais she's known as Elle Miller
(as in "L" Miller of course mes amis)
This limmerick thread demonstrates much style
That the UMA poets have possessed for a while
Just when it looks like we're slowing
Packy, Meek, Gasport, and the Baron keep showing
Why when I read this thread I can't help but smile!
Such doggerel. Methinks the Herr Baron needs a rhyming dictionary.
"Meek"(the things one hears when hasn't got a gun)
Consider the plight of Jack Griffin
Who vanished from some liquid he'd sniffin'.
Flora's friends all did say
In the nicest of way,
"We really don't know what you see in him."
A Werewolf once tore his own hide
To find out just what was inside
He ripped and he tore 'till his hands ran with gore
But before he found out... he died.
Meek spaketh: Such doggerel. Methinks the Herr Baron needs a rhyming dictionary.
"Meek" (they thinks one hearse; henna snot guts a pun)
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dearest MEEK
... Better, than, mere doggerel - WOLF-FERAL; which is better, than, say... WOLF-OFFAL!
SCAT! I Say! SCAT! Get Away!
```````````````````````````````
BR'ER PACKY,
... Qui, Qui, MONSTEUR! Of course, your mess is amiss!
```````````````````````````````
BR'ER IVAN,
... U may-cuss-mile 2!
```````````````````````````````
BR'ER GASPORT,
... ANY OLDE GAS-PORT IN A STORM... Even, with the PRICE, of GAS, these day, VINCENT! I'm glad you said, "his hands ran with gore"; if you'd said, "his Paw ran with GORE", that would make BILL & HILLARY my parents! Talk about THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF!
`````````````````````````
The OOTMAH of The OFFAL OFFICE!
BARON Von WOLFSTINK!
The Wolfman was feeling forlorn, he
had a sore on his foot and no corn-He
was getting frustrated,
his paw perforated
for the way that he walked was so thorny!
Mommy make it stop!
A groan escaped from the hearse.
Retching sounds and then a curse.
"It's enough to make my liver-sick,
this constant barrage of limerick -
As poetry there's just nothing verse!"
Things on Skull Island weren't right.
A Dentist was flown in one night.
Kong ate the whole jet
guess that's what you get
for trying to adjust the King's bite
Frankenstein noticed, alas
he had testicles made out of brass
He banged them together to play "Stormy Weather"
and lightening shot out of his ass.
Did i mention I'm actually related to Walt Whitman?...That's him you hear spinning in his grave.
Gasport writ:
Did i mention I'm actually related to Walt Whitman?...That's him you hear spinning in his grave.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear GASPOT... er, GASPORT,
... Smoking THE LEAVES OF GRASS, again, are we?!
The yarns, which I hear olde WALT spinning, in his grave, must be pure hemp! Ex-HEMP-lary!
Now, PACKY PAUL is prolific, specific, and, even, soporific, yet, delectably, non-sophomoric!
... Alas, Poor Yorick!
```````````````````````````````````
The UMA is blessed, with odd minds,
Letting Limericks, fly, unconfined,
I harbour, not, the least shred, of doubt
that, there's madness about,
which we caught, from olde Doc Frankenstein!
````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
"The way coupling of words can misbehave
Often cause poets to turn over in their grave.
Shelley and Byron,
Were out loud a-cryin'
And Whitman spun 'round like a lathe."
When Bela's full moon curse ascended
he went out and killed a young peasant
He ripped her heart from her chest,
wrote on it "I LOVE YOU BEST!"
to give Maleva for a Mother's Day present
PS: Happy Mother's Day to all you UMA moms out there!
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
```````````````````
Rememb'ring our MOMS is quite nice, I think!
We know, of One, tho', both, deadly & fright'ning,
Whose MONSTER SON, killed, just, for the sport!
YGOR, his best friend, voiced an insight, so right;
He exclaimed, with a JOLT, that: "Your Mother vas LIGHT'NINGK!"
```````````````````````````````````````
... I agree with CRAZY IVAN... doth that make Moi Crazy, too?!
... CRAZY, about our MOMS, GOD Bless Them, all!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... So many limericks; so little time... on my personal calendar... &, too much time, on my hands!
Obviously!
... Am I the Master of Understatement, or, what?! Here's the next teaser to start the Limerick madness brewing a-fresh!
````````````````````````````````````
FULCI'S Italian ZOMBIES are evil & mean;
Aside, from their being rotted & green;
They'll devour your entrails, like spaghetti;
Feast, on your brains; &, before you're ready;
They'll make mince-meat out of your spleen!
````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON Von WOLFSTEIN & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
As usual - I'm late for Mother's Day! But persevere I do, yes Ma(s)ter. You see...
I don't have to "remember" my Mom
For I think about her all the year long.
Though in 83 she bought hers,
I still see her in my daughters.
www.I miss you dot com!
love packy
Were you aware that May 12th was "National Limerick Day"? Neither did I until I was watching "The Tonight Show":
Last night Jay Leno did say
May 12th was National Limerick Day.
I thought "What is this?"
How could I've been so remiss?
But Limericks do thrive in the UMA.
A cannibal rather chummy
With a 2nds in his tummy,
Suddenly began to frown
From that last slice of clown
Declaring "Coo, that didn't taste half funny.
When The Creature's Mom was a young-dish,
she and her hubby had but one-wish
to open a diner
and it couldna been finer -
til somebody ordered the Lungfish!
Waldemar Daninksy drove out to the lake
to find the cause of his new tummy ache
His reflection didn't quibble;
he'd gotten round in the middle
Seems he's too old to keep eating Cheesecake.
In honor(?) of yesterday's National Limmerick Day, I'm posting all four stanzas of Fantomas' SPIDER BABY theme song. They don't follow exact limmerick rules, but they 'feel' right.
Screams and moans and bats and bones
Teenage monsters in haunted homes
The ghosts on the stair
The vampires bite
Better beware, there's a full moon tonight
Cannibal spiders creep and crawl
Boys and ghouls having a ball
Frankenstein, Dracula and even the Mummy
Are sure to end up in someone's tummy
Take a fresh rodent, some toadstools and weeds
And an old owl and the young one she breeds
Mix in seven legs of an eight-legged beast
Then you are all set for a cannibal feast
Sit around the fire with the cup of brew
A fiend and a werewolf on each side of you
This cannibal orgy is strange to behold
And the maddest story ever told
Oh, I love that Spider Baby song.
DEAR UMA FANG-MILY,
... WOWSERS! &, Hubba Hubba ! Youse Guys {& MEEK} are LIMERICK FREAKS!
Nor, was I aware, of NATIONAL LIMERICK DAY, when I posted, yesterday! I wrote it on the 12th, but, posted it, in the wee small hours, o' the 13th.... even, as I write this, at 1:47 A.M., on the 14th.
````````````````````````````````````````
THE WOLF MAN, in the moon-lit forest, howls,
Loping, through fog-shrouded woods, he prowls,
Leaping, upon his victim, with snarls & growls,
In blood-thirsty violence, he disembowels,
So scary, that, even, the owls, throw in the towel!
`````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
While Dracula enjoys walks in the moonlight
He really loves the Creatures of the Night
The music they make
Pierced his heart like a stake
Which in retrospect wasn't too bright!
Dear Brother, IVAN,
... This paean hath been writ, to immortalize Thy lugubrious contributions, by which we, all, are, oddly, awed!
``````````````````````````````````
CRAZY IVAN, we must agree, is, aptly, named,
For his sense, of verse, is, provocatively, maimed;
Yet, his pow'r, of reason, is, not, completely, blown,
As he rescues his thread, of logic, with admirable mien,
Redeeming the skewed, by leaving no turn, unstoned.
```````````````````````````````````````````
Your infectionate, er, affectionate, WEREWOLF UNCLE,
BARON "Do You See What You've Done, You Shameless Mad-man?! You've Made Me Cry 'WOLF' & 'UNCLE' In The Same Sentence!"... And, as the final Topper, you've gotten me, so rattled, that, I've forgotten my last name! NOW, WHO'S THE CRAZY ONE, EH?!?!?!
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... In antipasto... er, anticipation, of FATHER'S DAY, I've penned this li'l number, of how our children can succeed our every hope, but, still, fall prey, to the same mistakes, that we did:
```````````````````````````````````````
DRACULA'S Daughter, really, burned The Olde Man;
She, never, looked back, for, she had a plan;
Believing, that, she could become human, again,
Eschewing blood, for wine, and, a boyfriend,
'Til SANDOR, a vengeful Cupid, brought her 'life', to an end!
```````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
COUNT "BIG DADDY" Von DRACULA, B.G.G.
Tony the Teenage Werewolf was full of aggression
His transformation was brought on by a doctor's injection
Every time a bell would ring
Another of his friends would get their wings
He made the highway to Heaven a traffic congestion
Timotheus von Wolfstein was once OOTMAH elected
And for fleas he's oft had to be inspected
But due to his status as limmerick poet,
he rose in rank; now the Baron must show it
Within the UMA he's now the GENERAL ECCLECTIC!
Dear BROTHER, IVAN,
... Thanks for the Up-Grade, in Rank! Allow Moi, to reciprocate:
```````````````````````````````````````
GENERAL ECLECTIC, wrote, to THE SALTY SEA-DOG,
In The UNI-MONSTER-NAVY, to Laud, not, to Flog;
"I'll promote you, IVAN, to a STAR-SHIP Command,
Not, your usual ship; wherein, you'll file STAR-LOGS;
And, mayhap, write BLOGS; but, Water-Logged?! Never, again!"
```````````````````````````````````````
Set Phaser on "Stun"!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, The ROOTIN', TOOTIN', SURE-SHOOTIN', UMA-OOTMAH! B.G.G.
But with Ivan there's one more factor
went nuts on Uhuru and hacked her!
Then he tried to play dead
but went crazy instead -
Good Lord Tim, he's a poet not an actor!
It's life, Tim, but not as we know it.
In space no one screams like a poet.
The starship I commandeered to Saturn
I was surprised Spock didn't see the pattern
With 60 moons here I may never leave orbit!
packy writ, brilliantly:
````````````````````
But with Ivan there's one more factor
went nuts on Uhuru and hacked her!
Then he tried to play dead
but went crazy instead -
Good Lord Tim, he's a poet not an actor!
````````````````````````
... Make No BONES About It! Br'er PACKY, a most clever thread development!
``````````````````````
As CRAZY IVAN writ, in self-defense, inspired, by PACKY PAUL'S STAR TREK Analogy:
`````````````````````````````
It's life, Tim, but not as we know it.
In space no one screams like a poet.
The starship I commandeered to Saturn
I was surprised Spock didn't see the pattern
With 60 moons here I may never leave orbit!
``````````````````````````````````
So, your obit will be an orbit, ad perpetuam?
``````````````````````````````````
Dear IVAN, crazy, like a {20th CENTURY} FOX,
found it, PARAMOUNT, to conceal his motives, heinous,
with 60 moons, upon which, to collect moon-rocks,
He might shock SPOCK, with logic unlocked,
By missing SATURN'S RINGS, but, not, URANUS!
... I feel, as, if, I've just birthed a GALAXY! Ouch! Asteroids, to prove it!
CAPTAIN QUIRK Von SPOCKENSTEIN, B.G.G.
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on May 16, 2008, 11:45:11 PM
So, your obit will be an orbit, ad perpetuam?
``````````````````````````````````
Nay my good Baron, an obit won't be needed
Not when this planet is so well moon-seeded
One of the perks of lycanthropy
is to possess the 'curse' of immortality
So my natural death is defeated
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on May 16, 2008, 11:45:11 PM``````````````````````````````````
Dear IVAN, crazy, like a {20th CENTURY} FOX,
found it, PARAMOUNT, to conceal his motives, heinous,
with 60 moons, upon which, to collect moon-rocks,
He might shock SPOCK, with logic unlocked,
By missing SATURN'S RINGS, but, not, URANUS!
... I feel, as, if, I've just birthed a GALAXY! Ouch! Asteroids, to prove it!
CAPTAIN QUIRK Von SPOCKENSTEIN, B.G.G.
Circling Uranus was never my destination
getting lost in a black hole is not my intention
But the starship I lean on
must ever hunt KlingOns
Seems Fate's dealt me one morehumiliation
The Black Hole we had better ignore,
where certainly no man has gone before
emitting death fogs
and toxic Captain's logs
that get shat-ner the his and hers door
****Yes friends somehow it always comes back to this****
Dear PACKY & IVAN,
... Mea Culpa, for my leading you ass-tray!
... Hmmm, Ass-Tray, isn't that where you crush your butts?!
... So, ignoring the verbal affront, to our back-sides,
let's progress, back, to the front-sides,
above the navel, by delving, into our Monster Kid insides,
of Mind, Heart & Spirit!
`````````````````````````````````
IM-HOTEP, IMHO, was cursed, to fulfill,
His unholy love, denied; 'til, risen, to kill,
Any 'infidel', who defiled the old gods' will,
Avenging their wrath, wrought, by the SCROLL OF THOTH;
'Til ISIS protected her Priestess, &... ARDETH BEY, double-crossed!
``````````````````````````````````
... Ain't Love grand?!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.,
Who once met GENE RODDENBERRY, I was, in full SPOCK Make-up!
Spent a lovely half-hour with him, I did! May he Rest In Peace, EVERNOW!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead « 1 2 ... 6 7 »
packy120353 99 1464
`````````````````````````````````````````
Imagineered, by PACKY PAUL, we've, all, "toed the line",
With Limericks, about Mummies, or, our Beloved Frankenstein,
Dracula & vampires; from Zombies, to Star Trek,
Wolfmen, too; and... Hey! What the Heck?!
'Tho' I've grabbed the one hundredth spot, we're, still, neck & neck!
```````````````````````````````````
FANGS, A MILLION!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOOODDD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead « 1 2 ... 6 7 »
packy120353 99 1464
`````````````````````````````````````````
Imagineered, by PACKY PAUL, we've, all, "toed the line",
With Limericks, about Mummies, or, our Beloved Frankenstein,
Dracula & vampires; from Zombies, to Star Trek,
Wolfmen, too; and... Hey! What the Heck?!
'Tho' I've grabbed the one hundredth spot, we're, still, neck & neck!
```````````````````````````````````
FANGS, A MILLION!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOOODDD, B.G.G.
`````````````````````````````````
No doubt, that BILL could spin off verse, of limerick persuasion,
Yet, he slept through this last posting, the 1-hundredth occasion,
I'd forgot, to log him, out, and, myself, to log, in,
I just want you, all, to know the facts, lest confusion set in.
So, this confession becomes # 101, I 'opes, t'ain't no sin...
```````````````````````````````````
... SPOTTY, AS A 101st DALMATION, 'e is!
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, Of Which, BILL MILLHORN, is, One, of the Best, B.G.G..
All this talk about three-digit posting
is starting to sound like UMA boasting
I remember the Monster and I feel
we should all gather round at the windmill
For it is he we should be roasting!
A scent invites through Lagoon brine -
His scales off Rita sweetly shine.
He breaks the locks
and grabs the box!
Tonight on Pizza Creature dine!
Erik the Phantom was growing quite bored
The Opera largely was being ignored
He took a cab to the coast
the beach now had to play host
To the Phantom of the Boogie Board
A monstrously limerick fest
is not something we should take in jest.
I hope someday we meet
maybe even to eat
and our wry sense of humor digest!
Limericks have proven, themselves, an addictive strain;
Counted, by some, as loss, &, coveted, by some, as gain.
Yet, to cease their cycle, now, I'd soon as feign,
Some saner way, to re-wire, and, re-boot, my brain;
Time, mis-spent, upon rhyming slime, vouch-safes, us, as, quite, insane!
`````````````````````````````````
"Hear; Hear! There, There, and, Everywhere, Everywerewolf!" THE BEATLES
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
Apparently, I've been moved up, in Rank,
From posting these li'l germs,.. er, GEMS,
Which release, upon you, their fragrant "Stank",
I didn't start them; NO! You have PACKY, to Thank;
Let's use our Medals, of Valour, upon him, to SPANK!
````````````````````````````````
"WARNING:" the sternly issued headline read,
Reader, beware! "Irish Limericks Ahead"!
This madness, upon our dear Monster Army, foisted,
Has died many silent deaths, only, to be re-voiced,
Infecting, to date, 1532, who, having read them, rejoiced!
`````````````````````````````````
As RED SKELTON said: "G'-Bye, fer now, &, May GOD Bless!"
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
The Irish Limerick sang of spud,
I will take blame for that green crud.
But when it died
All jokes aside,
twas MEEK who squeezed that turnip's blood!
"For me 'tis all the same
Upon my shoulders to heap the blame.
But showing no remorse
In beating a dead horse,
There's another far worse I shan't name."
Thanks to Tim Ivan and Meek,
old friends are gone, my family weak.
I hear it all
day "Stop it Paul!"
I've forgotten how to normal speak!
We all must bear blame it is true
But really what else can we do?
I can think of much worse
than a limmerick verse
As long as we don't make them blue.
You ask, yourself: "How long can this go on?!"
"How much, more, can we, humanly, take,
of this undying Limerick thread, so very wrooong?!"
These rhymes, bizarre; from wits, half-baked,
which were writ, to Honour, unfaked, BELA, BORIS & LON?!
```````````````````````````````````
To write, this madness is, kind, of, like, eating pistachios;
For, once, you've started, you're hooked; you cannot stop!
If you've just read, these latest offerings, aficionados,
Then, you're, certifiably, nuts! We'll call the cops!
Need a cop-out, to make this end? How about: "Aw, yer fadder's mustachio!".
`````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
There once was a group about Movies
That thought Classic Horror was groovy
They stayed online all night
thinking of new lines to write
At least they weren't surfing for Boobies!
KING KONG went ape, when he saw her,
MISS DARROW, who crossed many waters,
She was his love-toy,
He was her lover-boy,
Yet, when he came to New York, he was slaughtered.
````````````````````````````````````
... he should have gone surfing instead... as IVAN said!
G'Night! 1:30 A.M.
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
````````````````````````````````
"But showing no remorse
In beating a dead horse,
There's another far worse I shan't name."
````````````````````````````````
... When our Beloved MEEK writ these lines, I wondered of whom she spake, I suspected one of the denizens of CASTLE Von WOLFSTEIN. Certainly, not, little, olde Moi!
... Then, when IVAN writ this:
```````````````````````
"They stayed online all night
thinking of new lines to write
At least they weren't surfing for Boobies!"
````````````````````````````````
... I thought, "Insightfully trenchant!" Then, when this mysterious limerick appeared upon my desk, this morning, and, I saw that it was un-posted, I recognized the hand-writing!
... MEEK'S Culprit, is JOE NOSFERATU, HOMELESS VAMPIRE, who flies in, to use the computer, whilst the rest of us slumber. Much, as I'd love to take credit, for it, I'd rather have cold, hard, CA$H!
```````````````````````````````````
Human women fascinated Sasquatch,
Who, unlike TCFTBL, sought an on-line match,
He declined, tho', to use a photo profile,
Unaware, that his choice, the ladies riled,
He never got to watch a Boobie hatch!
```````````````````````````````
... Ouch! The marriage of Limerick to pun, assures the worst, in verse!
... I feel dirty just reading it!
... Thank Goodness, that, none, of you, others, have ever been guilty of such a heinous crime!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS Von WOLFSTEIN, B.G.G.
When returning from a holiday weekend
It's my pulse that I fear may soon weaken
With no more poetry to host
the board received not one new post
Not since Big Foot had chatroom ladies shriekin'!
Drac was in his coffin sleeping soundly on his back
When mean ol' Doc Van Helsing planned to launch a sneak attack
The sun was slowly rising as he ripped the lid apart...
and drove that wooden stake straight through the Count's undying heart
Because it's true... Even monsters get the blues
We hunt them down with torches, dogs and crucifixes too
It's always open season, and there's nothing you can do.
I say, GAS, Olde SPORT,
... Your plaintive ode really brings an eye to my tear!
``````````````````````````````````
DRACULA & RENFIELD, were in his room,
We saw the sky, above, aglow, with gloom,
His wives, disguised, flying wild & free,
Winged rats, from the Tomb,
Or, worse: BATS, IN THE BELFRY!
`````````````````````````````
NECK-TS!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
Dear IVAN! Welcome back!
``````````````````````````
There are few things, better, than,
A new limerick, posted, by IVAN.
He makes me smile,
At his lack, of guile,
'Til I'm mistaken for a crocodile!
```````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
The Baron's smile can be gruesome
if he's just had a platter of gruel; some
of his meals were once tourists
till Tim's appetite flourished
And I fear, that of his victims, I knew some!
Dear IVAN,
... More, for me, to treasure! Seems, like, we are the only stalwarts, left, to engage, in this TIM-FOOLERY!
... PACKY & MEEK, 'tho', not, IRISH, contributed mightily, and, come next March 17th, may, once again, do so. 'Til then, we must fart the good fart, since, our combined genius is a real GAS! Like admitting to flatulence, few, there are, of such bravery, yet, all, can identify, with this entirely corporeal trait... 1,793 people have viewed this madness, compared to the 10 or so, who have, repeatedly, released these toxic li'l bombs!
... As a variation, on a theme, here's tonight's offering:
``````````````````````````````````
What's eating The BARON... A Clown?!
No, I believe, 'tis the other way 'round;
He made TIM belly-laugh,
Yet, TIM bit him, in half,
Turning his greasepaint grin, up-side down!
```````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
Gasport seems hooked on vampire bashing
As he speaks of Dracula's heart smashing
but I know deep inside
he views the monsters with pride
Why else would he be here monster mashing?
Frankenstein confided that his bride had gone astray
She left him for the Wolfman and is moving out today
He'd kill himself right now, if not for one important fact...
Each time he ends his life some evil doctor brings him back!
Dear GASPORT & IVAN,
... Capital, Lads, Capital! Fine exchanges!
... This is an ode, to ELENA VERDUGO, set, to appear, at the CLASSIC MOVIE MONSTER CON, this October:
`````````````````````
ILONKA, that Gypsy Girl, so fine,
Fell, for THE WOLF MAN, ill-timed,
She gave him a silver bullet, of note,
'Ere, he tore out her throat,
They, both, died, in THE HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN!
```````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
For Ben [ i miss you] Chapman, the REEL GILLMAN:
I ran into the Creature at a restaurant yesterday
He said he had a craving for a tender fish fillet
A waiter soon harpooned him, and dragged him out of sight
Then added Gillman Chowder to the menu for the night.
Because it's true, even monsters get the blues...
Their mates can be unfaithful, friends can be so cruel
You better mind your manners or they might come after you.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... I regret, to inform you, that, here... is another LIMERICK!!!
```````````````````````````````````````
Another Limerick, you say?! HORRENDOUS!
Such, an evil omen, as this, PORTENTOUS!
We thought they were dead,
Now, with this new one, read;
From Ghoulies & Ghosties & Limericks DEFEND US!
`````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
THERE ONCE WAS A BARON FROM NANTUCKET...
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on June 04, 2008, 11:24:31 PM
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
THERE ONCE WAS A BARON FROM NANTUCKET...
Whose dictionary was a bucket
He'd fill it with puns
and then choose the worst ones
And he shares them with us, how unluck.. it.
Awww, Thankee, M'Lad, I'm touched!
... which explains my perpetual stay, in the UMA rubber room!
```````````````````````````````````````````
That SALTY SEA-DOG, IVAN, so CRAZY,
His CORN was truly a-MAIZE-ing;
He'd shuck all his puns,
Then, shoot 'em, from guns,
A CEREAL KILLER, swimming, in WACKY & WAVY GRAVY!
```````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
Right back atcha, Baron!
My secret life as a cerial killer; I'll share it.
I offed Yummy Mummy and took his wrap; now I wear it.
I killed Lucky the Leprechaun, how bold;
a shame he had no pot o' gold.
But I heard that our Meek will inherit.
IVAN'S LUCKY CHARMS: {Jingle}"THEY'RE FIENDISHLY DELICIOUS!" &, IRISH-THEMED, at that!
... May you be FRANKEN-BERRIED ALIVE!
... "Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! BERRIED ALIVE; BERRIED ALIVE!" Sang BERRY GIBB, o' THE BEE-GEES!
```````````````````````````````````
So, MEEK shall inherit the earth;
After Humankind's demise, what's it worth?
Amid the books, of her library,
The most precious one's buried,
THE SCROLL OF THOTH, the Curse, to reverse!
```````````````````````````````````
... Wowsers, that one spilled, out, so rapidly, that, it, even, scared me!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
What need have I of the Earth?
When my finances are really quite dearth.
It is generally felt,
That Meek never needs any Gelt,
Since my treasure is my keen sense of mirth.
IVAN'S LUCKY CHARMS: {Jingle}"THEY'RE FIENDISHLY DELICIOUS!" &, IRISH-THEMED, at that!
... May you be FRANKEN-BERRIED ALIVE!
... "Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! BERRIED ALIVE; BERRIED ALIVE!" Sang BERRY GIBB, o' THE BEE-GEES!
```````````````````````````````````
And here I thought Burried Glibb sang "BARELY ALIVE" after suffering from a Saturnian Daylight Fever.
```````````````````````````````````
I know its for all that I speak
When I say the Earth has inherited Meek.
We're so lucky in the UMA to have her
She's like potpourri stuffed in a cadaver;
Without her these forums would reek!
LIMERICK POTPOURRI
------------------------
I draw MEEK, out, with wit & repartee,
Yet, she's indispensable, to the UMA!
Yea, our MEEK is Queen;
A real {volatile} Human Bean,
Exuding Laughing Gas, whenever, we play!
`````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
Universal's theme parks are now fishin'
for a musical monster, so they're wishin'
that the Creature will just sing along
when they teach him their funky fresh songs.
This may work but I don't share their vision. ???
The rain never seems to slack,
As Nature gives Iowa a whack.
The whole state is soggy,
My backyard is so boggy.
And Meek is web-footed now and quacks.
Dearest MEEK,
... Not, so bad, as all that....
```````````````````````````````````
Our Meek is web-footed, now, and, quacks,
Which saves her, from vampires named DRAC,
'Tho', alas, down, on her luck,
Our lass, now, resembles a duck,
But, can become a spokes-critter, for AFLAC!
````````````````````````````````````
Your Kissin' Cuzin Kith & Kin,
COUNT DUCKULA!
MONSTER BASH 2008 is arriving, soon;
For MONSTER KIDS, a yearly boon,
Who fit the Genre, Hand-In-Glove;
Enjoying 3 days, of MONSTER LOVE,
Remembering VINCENT, during the Full Moon!
There once was an Artist, named STAN,
Whose special fx & make-up works were grand,
Despite subject matter quite odd,
I believe, he lives, Now, in GOD,
While his work continues to amaze millions of Fans!
THE BALLAD OF THE BLIND DATE OF COFFIN JOE...
------------------------------------------------------
... In LIMERICK DISGUISE! ;^}
`````````````````````````````````````````
A DATE... BLIND? Why, of course, 'tis so,
All dates are sightless, so far as I know,
Were COFFIN JOE Irish & Wise,
He'd date a Veggie {no big surprise},
This Veggie would see him; since POTATOES have EYES!
`````````````````````````````````````````
"Have a Po-Tat-O!"
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMOTHY O'SHAUGHNESSY, LEPRECHAWN
Oh my goodness for Ray and his brood!
Every angle it seemed was snafud.
He considered his option
decided failure was not-one,
And instead used intestinal fortitude!
There was a UMAer named Packy
Who traveled up north for some snacky
As he cleared his head
from his thoughts of dread
to the UMA he's come backy
(Welcome back, brother!)
Creepy Jeff
It seemed for a while that we ran out of poems
But the Universal Monster Army's kept the limmericks flowin'
It's Tim, Meek, Jeff and Packy
That make this thread so wacky
I think I just wrote one myself, without knowin'.
THE MONSTER BASH, again, came & went.
THE UMA supplied good graces, without stint;
Lending our collective Presence, strong,
How could things, there, e'er go wrong?!
The UMA/BASH imprint, I must say, was truly MINT!
``````````````````````````````````
... Ahhh, 'twas grand to see Thee, one & all, and, to place a new face, or, two, to appropriate, names, herein.
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
A very Happy Carin' BARON, TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
The next Convention is WONDERFEST,
As this summer reaches its crest,
Which began with MONSTER BASH,
And it caught on in a flash,
That October will yield One of the BEST!
```````````````````````````````
... Hope to be at WONDER FEST... and, a few other Conventions, this year! ;^}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
I'm amazed, at how, summer is flying,
Time melts, away, without, even, trying,
'Twill soon be July,
And, in a flying pig's eye,
If I said I was caught up, I'd be lying!
THE VICE O' VERSA!
----------------------
'Tis obvious, I've got too much time, on my hands;
Writing these limericks, suck, like, quicksand,
Although, quite annoying,
And, oft, too sweetly cloying,
'Tis, you, who are daft, as they've never been banned!
The demands, on my every hour, blows my mind,
By the clamouring, of others, sans reason or rhyme;
There's jobs and conventions,
Too many things, to mention...
... I've got too many hands, on my time!
"Its commonly known that I've
Got a keen interest in Colin Clive.
Some are of the opine
That I've got a small shrine,
Where you can almost hear him shout "IT'S ALIVE!"
July's sunshine is summertime's gift,
it beauty, always, gives me a lift,
and, speaking, of beauty,
I, always, do my duty,
on THE 4th, by consuming a fifth!
```````````````````````````````````
A TOAST: BELA-TED HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!
... May GOD BLESS our Service-Men & Women!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
Aah I'm Irish to be sure but truth be told
I've never been told that I'm quite old
but me teeth go to bed with their gold
and me soul has never been sold
then I look forward to the wifes scold
or it's out in the nights cold
as I've never been that bold.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
... Thankee, m'Lad, for your add! Our madness relies upon that o' brave souls, such as yerself!
... Inspired, more, by making rhyming light, than, actual experience, of said plight, I hopes!
``````````````````````````````````
Yer wife's scold places you in the land o' IRE,
No EIRE you'll be knowin', burnin' on that pyre,
'Til ye extinguish that fire,
'Tis a joy we married blokes acquire,
Dear Lad, here, you're singin' to the choir!
``````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMOTHY & FANG-MILY, B.G.G.
Thank ye Tim, here be another.
Of Irish descent our werewolf Tim be,
Bark at the moon said he,
yet on St Pat's day you'll agree,
he changed from brown fur to green for all to see,
Which left him to roam quite free,
In the beautiful land of Innisfree.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
... 'Tis only for the rhyme, that, this one was born!
Hope you get a laugh, out of it, or, else, be RIP TORN!
Not meanin', to be obscenin', about XENA...
``````````````````````````````````````````````
Our MAURICE be Irish: ERIN GO BRAUGH-LESS,
Lets it all hang out & really quite flawless,
His candor, via Condor,
Doth Daze us, with Wonder,
When, as WONDER WOMAN, dis-guy-sed, as LUCY LAWLESS!
``````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
A BRAUGH-LESS Xena now that is a thought, oh I've went all a tizzy.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
... Muchly, I enjoyed your above witty verse;
I may have tak'n it, tho', from bad to worse;
A mood ov'rtook me; I hope, not, a Curse;
Nor, my rhyme, so much slime, unrehearsed,
Shall quench your sterling Limerick thirst!
... Here, then, is my variation, on your theme - ;^} ...
Oh, I wish our werewolf Tim descented be,
The Bark, from his moon, spreadeth much glee, {Laughing gas, silly}
Yet, on St. Bat's-night, you'll agree,
He exchanged his brown fur, for Green Beer {the better to pee},
WICH led him, to Rome, oh, so quietly,
That beautiful land, where his GUINNESS is free!
An A Right Proper MOTLEY FOOLE, I Be!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMOTHY O'SHAUGHNESSY, LEPRECHAWN, B.G.G.
Who'da thunk a true son of Eire
Armed with Biro would suddenly inspire
A deluge of verse,
Some good(and some worse)
From assorted UMA poets most dire.
A Warrior Princess with much attitude
Thought to slay monsters while partially nude
But she had to fight tit for tat
And still Hercules knocked her flat
For the god found her demeanor most rude.
Here's one dedicated to crazyIvan and Tim and those of a werewolf slant.
Along went the werewolf Tee-hee-toe-hoe,
Until he met his ultimate foe,
With an alarm in his howl as he stubbed his big toe,
That was as far as he could go,
Even with Toe in air to see it grow,
Wolfy knew that it had to be so!
Limericks, from MAURICE, shows a most visual bloke;
Of Irish Werewolf habits, as our "tv horror" spoke,
So, GREEN FUR, or, BRAUGH-LESS,
Our XENA'S a bare-naked goddess,
Asking "WHERE?" or, "WERE-", just ain't no joke!
GOD Save The Flying Non-Sequitur!
Non sequitur (humor), a comment that has no relation to the preceding comment or to an ongoing discussion or topic {WIKIPEDIA - full o' oxygenated morons!}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
See what you've done Tim you created a poet and you don't know it (I've done it again) here's one more for your collection..
There was a young werewolf named Bow,
Who came in from the quite heavy snow,
As he had planned to cure his lumbago,
Then he was caught with one mighty throw.
And out in the snow landed head first in a flow,
With only his dignity left in tow,
Stuck in the snow up to his elbow.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
... Novel, that, you should invest your poetic Werewolf scenario, in a blizzard. In an Interview, with BURIED.com, I was asked, by THE UNDERTAKER:
... "Have you ever been accused of being a wolf in sheep's clothing?"
... My reply:
..."Hmmmmmmm, well, now that I think back on't; there was that isolated incidence, which I suppose accounts for 'a wolf in sheep's clothing' mis-perception, back in the Winter of AD 1816, in BAVARIA. A terribly harsh winter, as I recall it.
... Sheep's wool-skins enjoyed a brief vogue as a popular style of clothing; warm, woolly, fleecy and comfy... being covered in this white fur, well, I got stuck in a snow-drift during a skiing/avalanche accident, and, no one recognized me, until some 30 years later, during the spring thaw of AD 1847!
... Talk about your chilling tale... mine was frozen so severely that it had to be amputated! To this day, I'm plagued with a near-mortal fear of sheep."
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
Hello Tim, thank you for the encouragement I can just hear it now "IT'S the wolf it's the wolf!!!! and poor little Lambsey is no more.
From a snow blizzard he came,
And I can assure you he was no dame,
For he was always at the top of his game,
So now he was looking for his old flame,
But she was now married with only him to blame,
what was he to do but stake his claim,
But as it turned out it was his claim to fame,
As he killed the husband and married her all the same,
He still tells the tale to this day even from his frame,
Because now he is alone and quite lame.
Dear MAURICE,
... Brother, Thy plaintive poem hath hit ye nail, squarely, upon ye head!
... The sad, :'( true, Tale, of Me... "and, 6 million other guys!" :) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :-X :-\ :-* :'(
... My, my! Rather, a stoic, motley, lackadaisical bunch, aren't we?!
... Without further ado: Here's today's offense... er, offering!
````````````````````````````````````
In IRELAND thrives a Monster Man,
Who, named MAURICE, doth understand,
The painful plight, befallin',
The noble WEREWOLF Callin',
An', 'e sums it, up, in poems, GRAND! ;D
````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Thank you Tim, That reminds me of the ole joke which goes something like this: I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright NOWwwwwwwwwwww!!
From a frostbite toe suffers our werewolf Tim,
But never worries for that's not him,
For I know that he is far from grim,
As he was always so proper and trim.
Crazy1van writ:
A Warrior Princess with much attitude
Thought to slay monsters while partially nude
But she had to fight tit for tat
And still Hercules knocked her flat
For the god found her demeanor most rude.
```````````````````````````````
IVAN, Dear Brother,
... Delightfully demented; XENA lives on! Sorry I missed replying to this, sooner.
----------------------------------------
The Warrior Princess, possessing much pulchritude
Sought to slay monsters, with her pendulous boobs;
She fought tats for tits,
Being an au naturale BRIT,
Yet, PLAYBOY, begged her to pose, in the nude.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
... Back, in AD 1990, I worked the graveyard shift, in a huge warehouse, and, it was, after months, of this suffering, that, a friend sprung that line on me: "I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright NOWwwwwwwwwwww!!"; it had been a particularly exhausting night, and, as he drove me home, he said it! We broke up, laughing, hysterically!
... Brain-dead half-wit, that, I was, at that point, I immediately chimed in, with: "I used to be a WAREHOUSE, but, I'm all right Nooooooowwwwwww!" Tears rolled down our faces; our laughter beyond control!
... Here, is a candid re-write, of your latex... er, latest, opus.
... Ahhh, the O'PUS Family! They take The wearin' o' The Green, most seriously!
``````````````````````````````````````````
From Paw-in-Mouth disease suffers our werewolf Tim,
He's unconcerned, for that's business as usual, for him,
I watched, as he ate THE BROTHERS GRIMM,
Yet his figure always remains, so svelte and trim.
``````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON, B.G.G.
Ode to Tim of werewolf fame from his fang-mely member brother in the emerald isle.
It's off to the convention in make-up goes he,
Although we know that it is as real as you or me,
Did I imagine his fangs gleam at thee,
No it was the thought of that free-be,
So look at the grin and the glee,
Tim is having the time of his life you'll agree.
tv horror
Ode to Tim of werewolf fame from his fang-mily member brother in the emerald isle.
It's off to the convention in make-up goes he,
Although we know that it is as real as you or me,
Did I imagine his fangs gleam at thee,
No it was the thought of that free-be,
So look at the grin and the glee,
Tim is having the time of his life you'll agree.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Brother MAURICE, & UMA FANG-MILY,
... You got that right! WONDERFEST was WONDER-FULL! Seeing TERRY, RAYMOND & NICOLE, CREEPY JEFF, ELDER ROBERT, MISS DRAC & CONNIE, and, anyone, else, whom I'm forgetting to mention, was a Great JOY! I'm sure, that, you were with us, in Spirit, me Irish brother! Oh, and, since this is a LIMERICK Thread; Have another!
```````````````````````````````
The Second KARLOFF FRANKENSTEIN,
Got a BRIDE, whom, he thought looked "fine!";
Yet, him, she dissed,
With an unforgettable hiss,
He should have gotten pissed, on some wine!
{"DRINK... GOOOOODDD!"}
... MORE, SOON!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
welcome back Tim, the place was so such emptier without your's and the other absent members presence.
Now that the werewolf and his crew are back,
Ready to slew and hack,
The forum seems brighter and not dull as a sack,
hopefully everythings back on track,
It sure is better than a torturous day on the rack,
Knowing that alls well with the horror World and the UMA pack.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
... Thanks,for your appreciative sentiments!
... "To slew & hack"?; "Dull, as a Sack"?
... MAURICE, unless you're keeping secrets, you've ne'er been to HACKENSACK!
So, let's, all, put on our NEW JERSEY... Sorry, our NEW "JOISEY", and look in, on some of its local inhabitants!
`````````````````````````````````````
When FRANKIE MEET WOLFIE; OY VEY!
They nearly ruined everyone's day!
'Til they had their big fight,
upon one Full Moon night,
Then, their troubles were all washed away!
.... Olde Yiddishe Limerick
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & MONSTER MAFIOSO-WHAT!, B.G.G.
Aah it's good to be back and I'm not talking Hackensack, so here's more from the emerald your hack. Thats in case you don't give a heck.
Frankenstein got his doctor Pretorious,
Their plan was to make a mate gorgeous,
Yet their way was not that gregarious,
For in the end proved quite riotous,
For all to be dead that must be really glorious!
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
... Ha-Ha! ;D Nice segue, from FRANKENSTEIN, into a DRACULA {& LUGOSI, no less!} Punch-Line! Mayhap, I can continue the thread, with BELA'S second greatest characterization.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````
YGOR used THE MONSTER, saying: "He does things for me."
Knocking off Jurors, on a mad killing spree;
When WOLFE shot him dead, YGOR'S plan died;
THE MONSTER'S plan, for revenge, after he cried:
To kill WOLFE'S Son... 'til DADDY gave MONSTER a Sulphur-Pit Wedgie!
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS Von WOLFSTEIN & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
Brother Tim or dear baron to his enemies, here be another to add to the fold. See what you have done you've created your own emerald monster, so its goodbye from me and a quick GRrrrrrrrr to the mob. Flamin touches who needs em.
Poor Ygor so soon after his false hangin,
Needed a friend to do his biddin,
Along came the monster found sleepin,
So now he needed the monster a stridin,
And a Frankenstein was a needin,
Ah for a quick jolt of lightenin,
Little Peter's brain was in the reckonin,
But in the end a Lou would do without the pit and the fussing!
Larry wanted to wipe out his curse
So he sought a doctor whose skills were diverse.
But the promise of a cure
was Count Dracula's lure
to bring Big Frankie back; which was worse!
TV HORROR writ:"See what you have done?! You've created your own emerald monster"!
``````````````````````````````
My EMERALD MONSTER is quite green,
Yet, not, from envy, but, spleen,
His bile, morose,
His breath, halitose,
And, everything, else, is obscene!
```````````````````````````````
... Now, I'm even scaring ME!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS Von WOLFSTEIN & FIENDS, B.G.G.
This is for the Crazy 1 and it's nice to see a new face even if it is a furry one.
Good evening Mr Renfield and now behold,
All the tales of vampires and werewolves be told,
The legends of folklore from the land's of old,
Be true and worth their weight in gold,
As the blood is the life, you're now welcomed into the fold,
With the vampires bite your soul is sold,
Now you have only to fear the bold,
With their torches flames and jeers that scold!
There, once, was a Vampire, from Transylvania,
Who, as soon as he saw ya, would drain ya;
In his appetite, foul,
He would snarl & growl,
Then, as his slave, he'd retain ya!
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... In Honour of this Thread, being read, for the 3000th time, I submit this commemorative poem... ok, ok, LIMERICK!... for your erudition, as a stern reminder, that:
YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE!
... &, in failing, to do that, to get a LAUGH, instead!
... Thanks, to all you brave stalwarts, who risk ridicule, and rejection, by daring, to write such vile humours!
````````````````````````````````````````
Our limerick thread breaks the 3000 mark,
Of loyal readership, who, indulge, as a lark,
Their love, of bad rhyming puns,
From moonlight, to sun,
From one, whose bite, is, far worse, than his bark!
``````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Three cheers for Baron Tim, if you're not in you cannot win, he got the landmark 3000. 3000 odd (very odd!) readers of this long forgotten lore have come in from the dark to enjoy this lark. What is a limerick but a "sour Richard" (Groan).
It is in fortuitous times,
That the UMA pack do rhymes,
Some are down right bad,
But reading them aloud makes me glad,
With a beat that not quite chimes,
And we keep clean from all the dust and the grimes,
So we monsters can enjoy without being sad,
All the poor limericks no matter how we are clad.
"Whoever would've thunk
That this thread would have so much spunk.
And, dare I say
That the UMA
Has troops with a lot of neat junk."
I really must get a life, as the werewolf's remark cut like a knife. Here is a limerick in honour of Meek.
With an ungodly shriek,
It's someone called Meek,
Whose neat replies we now seek,
In the forum of those that are foul and reek,
Legends are made from this mountainous peak,
And not someone's version of a home grown geek.
One needn't have very much courage
To fling about heaps o' verbage.
Listeners never can tell,
When under the Limerick's spell
That we're poets who need to be discouraged.
Dearest MEEK & MAURICE,
... Bon Mots, to all!
``````````````````````````````````````````
Ye Sands, of Time, become Green Slime,
Whence Limericks doth afflict one's Mind,
In Horse-Pill Dose,
Our Friendly "Roasts",
Devoured, by FANG-MILY... They keep us close.
```````````````````````````````````````````
... {To the toilet! Or, "Water-Closet"; whate'er ye prefer!} MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-ET-CE-TE-RA!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
We should be copyrighting these or Howlmark will make a fortune, as from our fun comes the bad pun. I've caught this from Tim the rhyming bard and now there's no stopping me, as you're now part of my captive audience.
When all the denizens of the dark are called at night,
It is the time to be of fright,
Neither storm nor the crisp Moonlight,
Can stop you from your pursuit or flight,
As you race with your heart so tight,
From the creatures that hunt by sight,
All that you can hope is for your soul to be contrite.
Dear Brother, MAURICE & UMA FANG-MILY,
```````````````````````````````
Strictly, "OFF-THE CUFF", these two new off'rings are,
'Tis too early a morning, for my wit, to stretch, far,
My most 'umble apologies,
For, if these sound, off-key...
You should hear me play the GUITAR!
````````````````````````````````````````````
"I've created a MONSTER!", the olde saying goes,
Extolled, by TV HORROR, who claims my work "blows"...
... Chunk-y, or, funky,
They're yours, to dispose,
Of corpse, in the night, they, eerily, glows!
``````````````````````````````````
There, once, was a MONSTER, from EIRE,
Who blamed his poetic madness & fire,
Upon an Olde WEREWOLF Chap,
Whose puns were mere crap,
Released, to expel the gas, out, of his spare tire.
```````````````````````````````````
... Seriously, Brother MAURICE, keep up the Good.. Oopsi! I meant, "BAD" {my bad!} Work!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS GOO-O-ODD, BAD & UGLY {You BET-TY Your Life!}, B.G.G.
We are fang-mily (hey someone should write a tune with that) and the urge is there for us to purge the fire in our soul that glows.
Sometimes it's nice to get of so cheap,
When said werewolf is far from a creep,
With his deep cutting wit,
That ends so far of the pulpit
And his meanings come off so deep,
But in the end all I can do is weep,
At the humour that is ours and not some twit.
*SNIFF!* {Teary-eyed WEREWOLF, unabashedly wipes away lachrymal secretions}
... Thankee, M'Lad! Nice, to be so appreciated; 'tis mutual, I assure Thee!
Meanwhile, back, to the Subject at hand...
````````````````````````````````````````````
There was, once, in France, a HUNCHBACK,
Who, entranced, gave the Church-bells no slack,
For The Gypsy, ESMERALDA, he pined,
His Love, drove him out of his mind,
For, by her great beauty, he was taken aback.
````````````````````````````````````
... Or, Mayhap, this one:
````````````````````````````````````
There, once, was a HUNCHBACK, in France,
Who rang the Church-bells, entranced,
He fell, for ESMERALDA, the Gypsy,
His Love, for her, made him tipsy,
Yet, whilst, in that state, his heart danced.
`````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
My dear friend Tim, I got all teary eyed myself being left upon the shelf like some half eaten elf, when you wrote with so much to emote. If it's a tale of a hunchback you want to hear now is the time so never fear.
Being as ugly as the man in the moon,
Brought tears of dismay ever so soon,
Poor Quasimodo sure had his high noon.
But not from his honey allcoon,
For Esmeralda hated being treated as a loon,
And all he could offer was a bell like croon,
When the poor fellow died he was seen floating as high as a balloon,
Now he is remembered in some Disney cartoon.
WOWSERS, MAURICE!
... A veritable Essay; no... A Dissertation, in rhyming couplet, triplet & quadruplelet! Mayhap, Thou wert, even, having a sextuplet, in the Port-o-let! Well-Done, JOHN DONNE! ;D
``````````````````````````````````````
Ah, the IRISH penchant, for BLARNEY, so choice,
Full-bloom, as yon Poet assumes Balladeer's Voice,
Reminds me, more, than a bit, o' JAMES JOYCE,
As his words makes me laughing eyes, moist,
'Til, hit, with The Kitchen Sink, in surrender, I rejoice!
```````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BLARNEY RUBBLE, B.G.G.
Fritz muttered to himself over lunch
That Henry F. was in need of a punch.
The Herr Doktor would start in
Whilst wearing a lopsided grin,
By saying "You sure about that Fritz or do you just have a hunch?"
I have to get this off my chest instead of the Barons family crest although he may beat his breast or expand his proud vest I have only just tried my very best.
In the olde town of Transylvania,
It's kind of hard to see ya,
Yet look at the great towns encyclopaedia,
It's listed under horror mass media,
The coming of monsters and the foretold paranoia.
There, once, was a LYCANTHROPIC Fellow, named TALBOT,
Whose victims were, mostly, innocent HALIBUTS,
Sounds "FISHY", you say?
"RED HERRING"?!... Hooray!
SUSHI WEREWOLVES, everywhere, go NUTS!
`````````````````````````````````````````````
... This was told, to me, by a very olde WEREWOLF, centuries ago. I offer it, here, as a charming example, of how un-convolutedly brains worked, in those simpler times, of the days, of YORE, EEYORE, YGOR... & IGOR... &... E-GOR! {My Wise-Crack Legal Team; although, one, of them is an Ass... but, he worked, for DISNEY!}
... Surely, I can be absolved, of sharing this, since I know, that, you'd never suspect Li'l Olde Moi, of writing this, or, even, pulling your leg..... or, finger!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
No last name necessary... nor, first, for that matter. Middle initials are "F."& "M.", should anyone inquire... B.G.G.
LYCANTHROPIC!!! I cant even say it never mind spell it, Tim you are a cad and I know that it might make you mad if only for a tad. I'm now convinced that you've infected me with your canny ways as I've became a poet and I didn't know it (agggh there I go again writing in that type of vein).
In honour of Fritz I'll now give you a blitz of an actor far from all the so-called glitz.
There was once a young man, who had a taste for a fly,
Renfield was his name and he was not very sly,
But blood was the life and so he must die,
Leaving us to have a good cry,
Such was the actor Dwight Frye.
tv horror writ: "you've infected me with your canny ways as I've became a poet and I didn't know it (agggh there I go again writing in that type of vein)."
...........................
You see, my dear Brother, MAURICE {SPACE COWBOY; GANGSTER OF LOVE},
... Were you an American, you'd know the last line, of:
I'm a poet and I don't know it,
BUT, MY FEET SHOW IT... THEY'RE LONG FELLOWS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ODE TO BRAMWELL FLETCHER
----------------------------------
There, once, was a man, who laughed himself, mad.
Got chummy, with THE MUMMY, and, lost it; too bad!
To the Nut-House he went,
To do his last stint,
But, at least, he died, happy! I'm glad!
```````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Who's that rapping, nay a gentle tapping at my chamber door, it's Longfellow looking back his feet! My dear Tim, if it's a mummy you want then try this one for size (12).
To keep the mummy in his wrap,
Don't fall into his wily trap,
By brewing the tana leaves,
Till all about them sits and grieves,
So before you turn in that treasure map,
Take all you can and don't be a sap.
When explorers seek treasures like Imhotep's
what isn't klar is why they aren't kept
from fattening their purse
when they found out of the curse
unless their translators just happened to skip some steps
Wow Ivan you got a word that rhymed with Imhotep, if only I was that inept. So for today's fare we'll rise a hair and rhyme for a dare.
If the mummy appeared at a whim,
Who are we to say that he can't swim,
May be he is just there for a hair trim,
After 3000 years it takes so little to please him,
Or he might tear you limb from limb.
Dear Brothers, IVAN & MAURICE,
... Sifting, through your limerick poems, has been, like, unearthing an ancient Tomb, in the shifting sands, of Egypt. Your Glyphics instill a sense of Hiero-worship, in me!
```````````````````````````````````
That ancient MUMMY, known, as IM-HOTEP,
Became ARDATH BEY, using a fake rep,
His plan, though, went awry,
When he couldn't make HELEN die,
Instead, ISIS lifted the curse, from that schlep! {IM-HOTEP, BYE-BYE!}
````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIM-SOHEP, THE MUMMY'S UNCLE! It's the Truth, SoHep me!
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... Not, quite, a "Classic Monster", but, a luvable li'l tyke, nonetheless,,, and, a venerable Classic Icon, in his own way.
----------------------------------------------
There, once, was a Ghost, named CASPER,
Whose After-Life was 'rated': "Exasper",
Too friendly a Lad,
He made children glad,
So, despite being dead... no disaster!
----------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
THE SPOOKY OOTMAH, Of Loooong Ago, B.G.G.!
There once was a zombie named Tim
Whose undead prospects were grim
Dracula frowned
when his zombie fell down
and muttered, "This vun is qvite dim."
Dear Tim and Ivan, As you can see I'm back with a lot more flack so being a private first class will keep me on track.
Casper may have been a cute little ghost,
But did you know that with his tongue he could roast,
I have known him to leave ones face as dark as toast,
All because we refused him his own post,
That's why we love him the most,
And that's no idle boast.
Dear IVAN & MAURICE,
````````````````````````
There are many Spirits, in EIRE,
Plus, Goblins, Banshees & Vampires,
Their Legends abound,
So, walking around,
Wear DEPENDS, or, make friends, with a WASHER & DRYER!
````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, B.G.G.
The Mummy's linens are kept under wraps
So his smells are then held in his trap
And Drac can't be foiled
when wearing his native 'soil'
So the Goblins must deal with that crap
Dear fiends both Tim and Ivan, It is sublime to make a rhyme at this most important time.
Karloff's mummy had a scarab for a ring,
But all he could think off was Helen as a fling,
Now in the picture were Doctor Muller and John of course,
As her knights upon a charging horse,
So the mummy must die with his most treasured bling,
For his endless love was all he could bring,
With his joyous heart at the very source,
He died happy at the foot of his beloved Horis.
GOOODDD MOOOORNING, UMA!
``````````````````````````````````````
IVAN is crazy! A Sailor, In A MONSTER ARMY,
Naval Destroyer/Navel-Gazer; Oh, so Smarmy;
When we meet, face-to face,
GOD permit me the Grace,
To embrace my WEREWOLF BROTHER, so Alarming!
```````````````````````````````````````
To the faire Isle, of EIRE, I'd be blest, to travel,
To meet TV HORROR, and, his story, unravel,
Quaffing Guinness, with him, in a Pub,
'Midst, all, of the Irish locals' hub-bub,
Then - Sneak Attack! Drinkin' all o' their blood - How NOVEL!
``````````````````````````````````````````````
HAVE A NICE DAY!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & "FRIENDS, TASTE GOO-O-OODD-D!", B.G.G.
The Baron's one wolf I look forward to meeting
And TV Horror will be part of that Greeting
an autograph from Tall Man Angus Scrimm
will have to suffice to stand in
For our UMA comrade in the United King... dom
This is the first time I've been to this thread
It appears some who rhyme here have been misled
in thinking they're some kind of poet
when they really stink and they know it
Terry Ingram / August 2008
Many thanks for the very kind gesture that you are doing me Ivan I am really grateful, but our mad Tim is out for a surprise as I must be the only Irishman never to drink WINE! Well I am in good company as the Count also refused a beverage and he is an honorary Irishman (Stokers lineage). P.S Oops I think I've just been insulted by the General
Lugosi and Karloff faced off in the invisible ray,
When these two titans have lots to say,
If you know your horrors then this is the way,
Because they'll come to grips come what may,
As the ground rules are theirs to lay,
For in the end it is up to one of them to betray,
And for the other to kill and slay,
Like a black cat that is out to play.
Dear GENERAL TERRY,
... Your very first time?! Why, you handled your Limerick, like, a VIRGIN, true, and, now, you can play, with the other shameless hussies, too!
``````````````````````````````````````````
'Twouldst appear, that, our TERRY is a poet, too;
A Limerick Artiste, who is, long, past due,
Coffin up "Bottom Of The Barrel" sentiments,
Yet, howe'er base, the Basement meant,
No quarrel, here; join yer UMA Buddies, for an ice-cold brew!
``````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & GOO-O-ODD-DD VIRGINS, B.G.G.
If they visit even once, then it is not that they are ready to denounce, it is more that they are here to pounce. I love the way, that when they come it is to play during their fun packed rhyming stay.
Why is it that most mad fiends are rich,
While we are left to dig a ditch,
Ah it makes you wonder,
Although not that we ponder,
As our lives go off without a hitch,
Like some big fat and frumpy witch,
Or they could just pull us asunder,
Amidst the rain and rolling thunder.
TERRY meant, by his po'm, nothin', agin us;
'Tis, not, in 'is lofty Nature; No real menace,
'Twas, why, I writ,
My bit, o' Half-wit,
& invited 'im, to join us, in a GUINNESS!
```````````````````````````````
... For, 'e's a jolly STOUT fellow!
... DUBLIN 'is size, 'e will be, if'n 'e keeps it up, too!
``````````````````````````````
TIMOTHY O' BLARNEYSTONE, B.G.G.
The Baron has spoken and his words ring true, although if he keeps up that Guinness drink'in then he'll end up BLARNEYSTONED!
It makes me so merry,
To welcome our beloved Terry,
To while away his day,
During his extend stay,
while I don't come from county Derry,
I do get festive about the holly and the odd berry!
Hey you try finding something the rhymes with Terry and I don't mean that much maligned Ray Ferry.
So on Friday the costumes we'll wear
But Saturday the MONSTER will leer
Sunday should prove the best
At this year's Fright Night Film Fest
When the Werewolf of Wolfstein should appear
There, once, was a Film Fest, in Kentucky,
Those, who, attended, felt themselves, "LUCKY",
The UMA brought a strong presence,
NO! Not, AH-NOLDT & Donald Pleasance;
But, otherwise, everything, else, was "just DUCKY!"
```````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I am sad at the loss of my pals but I'll make do with Lou and a bunch of the gals. So I'll whoop it up in the Malamoot saloon. Take care if you must dare in Ole Kentucky town. By the way Ivan and Tim I was working on a rhyme with LUCK in it but have you ever tried finding a word that rhymes (Ha Ha ha) All the best and safe journey.
Ah the limerick thread,
Will be quite dead,
With the absence of both my furry ones,
But never fear for I will defend against the great guns,
Over my cold dead carcuss will they have to tread,
For I am legend and must be dread.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
... PLUCK, MUCK, TRUCK, PUCK, RUCK-SACK, TUCK, YUCK, BUCK, SUCK, as well as:
N-YUK, N-YUK, N-YUK... and, an order of CURLY-FRIES!
... I didn't leave anything out, did I? HUCK, no!
````````````````````````````````
Tomorrow, with IVAN & TIMMY, off-line,
Until Sunday {or some later time},
Our friend, who's a Schnorrer,
Cyber-moniker: TV HORROR,
Will, still, haunt this scene, of our crimes! ;)
````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
My Dear Baron I wish thee and that young whelp of a cub Ivan well on your journey to educate others into our ways.
So before you go into the hub,
Make sure you avoid the local pub,
As you are trusted with the pups welfare,
So when you make that grand entrance to their fanfare,
Remember your lines and try not to flub,
While little Ivan goes rub a tub dub.
Ivan may be offline for the weekend
But Kavik can still limmerick with his friends
No need for me to stop
when I travel with a laptop
and soon I'll have photos to send
Dear IVAN, MAURICE & FANG-MILY,
``````````````````````````
We'll arrive, at THE FILM FEST, late, on Friday night,
When the Full Moon is cresting, at its height;
I hope, to meet KAVIK,
&, that, he won't make me sick,
Lest, my WEREWOLF barf cause quite a Fright!
```````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
My two dear friends have left me in tears,
But alas not free of my deep found fears,
I'm as flat as a card from fleers,
One thought will bring on the cheers,
Of my two werewolf pals sharing so beers.
The Friday Night Fates were not kind
For Tim the Baron I could not find
But the evening was still good
I posed with Li'l Dead Riding Hood
Then we retired to our room to unwind
(http://www.geocities.com/crazy_ivan_thx11/FrightNightFilmFest_sm.jpg)
Hello Ivan, you're going to have to level some more on the UNWINDING bit, Lil dead Riding Hood indeed.
So along to the convention you must hurry,
least you miss all that is tall and half furry,
While there try to avoid the salty food,
If you are in it for good,
As I've tried to avoid the slurry,
Now that all of the posts are in a flurry.
tell me if you've heard this one:
So I'm sittin at my favorite space,
and this giant ape walks into the place.
Climbs up on a stool
but the bartender's cool,
says "Hey buddy - why the Kong face?"
Hello Packy in honour of the one who started this thread, I'll keep you from bed or you'll laugh until you're bled.
Quasimodo and Kong went though Hell,
As those of us could tell,
Hey tell me this my friend Kong,
Why is your face so darn long,
You're not as famous as me full well,
But your face sure rings a familiar bell.
QuoteI'll keep you from bed or you'll laugh until you're bled.
I humbly thank you, and as a matter of fact...
Once laughing so hard that I bled,
blood soaked through my bed and bedspread.
My poor wife said "What!?
Are you sliced? Are you cut?"
I said no it was just something I read!
You're more than welcome my friend; it is always a pleasure to read this thread.
Who can forget the beds placed head to head,
From the great Son of Frankenstein in that house of dread,
They hanged poor Ygor until he was dead,
But what they did not know was that he had fled,
Then the monster appeared and frightened little Peter in his own bed,
This was the land where angels feared to tread,
But into the sulphur pit the monster must be led.
Dear Brothers, PACKY PAUL, IVAN & MAURICE,
`````````````````````````````````````
A Limerick, a day, keeps the BARON a-baying... at the Moon,
Which, whilst quite full, now, shall, wanly, deflate, too soon;
Reduced, to his human guise,
He ducks, as time flies,
Lest he be mistaken, not, for a HERrON, but, a LOON!
``````````````````````````````````````````````
~ {Singin' his LOONEY TOON!... er, TUNE. ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS IS BACK! B.G.G. Be Afraid, Be Very, Very, Afraid!
"But Baron!" I cried with regret
"Your moon-cup is half full I bet!
When full brightly soon,
not Heron nor Loon
but a fully flocked fine Were-Egret!
I know that's your leg, and I'll pull it -
but before you cram me into your gullet
You had better beware
of the back of my hair
Your demise may be my SILVER MULLET!
Oh the thought makes me cringe of Packy's hairy backy but now that the masters back I can finally hit the sack.
With my new avatar all a switch,
I can get rid of this awful itch,
For this is truly who I am,
And I don't frankly give a damn,
So it's off to this forum without a hitch,
Unless this computer finds a new glitch.
Welcome back my friends (the computers went all misty, sob)
To PACKY PAUL, Moi replieth, sans {R}EGRETS, or, intent, to offend:
By MOON-CUP, I hope, that, Thou dost, not, refer, to Moi "DEPENDS"!
More, they be, than, half-full,
When I'm on a roll, it taketh its toll,
Especially, the way ye Load maketh mine suspenders BEND! ;D LMAO!
```````````````````````````````````````
To pull my leg, wouldst strain said Load,
So, please, do, neither, prod, nor, goad,
Else, filled, with regrets & more, you'll be,
'Struth, were I, you, I'd, wisely, flee,
Lest, Thou & Thy MULLET, end up, flattened, aside ye road! ::)
* * * * * * * * * * * *
STAND BACK, ALL, HE'S GONNA EXPLO-OOO-ODD-DEE-E!!!!
* * * * * * * * * * *
For Moi part, o' this Even's festivities: "That's all, folks!",
My Job come, first, and, then... more jokes!
Tomorrow, on-line, I'll, again, "go, for broke",
Amidst all ye Lovely Ladies & amiable Blokes! :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The Baron's return is cause for rejoice
But do let me add my own paltry voice
Madfrog and I weren't surprised
when Tim transformed to werewolf before our eyes
Move over del Toro, Herron's my wolfman of choice!
(http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v309/160/26/1041805702/n1041805702_126944_8616.jpg)
Myself, Tim, and my friend Yvonne at the Fright Night Film Fest
Dear Brother, IVAN,
````````````````````````````````````````
IVAN & YVONNE, you were a real treat, to meet!
My WERE-BROTHER, you were a Bliss, to greet;
For you, &, KEVIN, of MONSTERLAND TOYS,
I chose, to transform, with THE HOWLING Noise,
Into my vicious & vile Bestial form, from head to feet!
`````````````````````````````````````````
... Neat, to think, that, a few scraps, of foam seat padding, and, some hanks, of crepe hair, can metamorphose, with a touch, of paint, into a snarling WOLF MAN! THANKS, for being there!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
``````````````````````````````````
TV HORROR, of you, IVAN & I spoke,
Appreciating your Brotherhood, a Holy cloak,
Despite the distance,
There is no resistance,
You live in our hearts, and shall, 'til we croak!
```````````````````````````````````
... OH, NO! THE ATTACK OF THE WERE-FROGS!
{I dibs KERMY! ;) }
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Thank you My dear friends both Tim and Ivan, I'm all choked up to be recognized by my peers so I'll just refrain from any of my unfounded tears. Uma watch out the boy's are back in town!
With the baying at the Moon,
My wolves have arrived all a croon,
Now the horror world will have soon,
Two werewolves and a Hyde like loon,
Their mission to spread a rhyme and that's their boon,
So watch out world for the next high noon.
There, once, was a WEREWOLF, named IVAN,
Who traveled VASARIA, in a SPY-VAN;
Seeking out fellow MONSTERS,
like, BORIS, BELA, &, THE LONSTER,
Because, our man, IVAN, is a really big FAN!
A CHANGLING AVATAR is our Irish Lad, MAURICE,
First, ASH; now, HYDE: We should call the POLICE!
May be just the thing;
He'll be caught, in a STING,
Unless, he shows up, as JASON VOORHEES!
...................................
VOORHEES: A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW,
VORHEES: A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW,
VORHEES: A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW,
WHICH NOBODY LIVES, TO TELL!
..............................
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I've stumbled back into the ring,
for yet another limerick to sing,
but like standing at a public urinal,
I've gone shy and can't go at all.
:-[ sorry
Thank you Tim for that rousing cheer and now for the air to clear.
With the convention over and things to unpack,
It is now time for that three pronged attack,
First of all I'll head off the incoming flak,
Then I'll defend both front and back,
And finally put things back on track,
Then what's over I'll just ransack.
P.S Look who's back for an timely pun it's our General after some fun.
There once was a General, named TERRY, 8)
Who, of Limericks, was quite wary, :-[
He, once, tried, to scold, >:(
But, now, is quite bold, :-*
Learning, to rhyme, CURLY, MOE & LARRY! ;D
````````````````````````````````````
MAURICE, he is turning, into Mad MISTER HYDE,
Split-Personality, which, to himself, he confides,
Aggressively arguing pros & cons,
He'll become a much better mon,
If, instead, of drinking his potion, he swallows his pride.
{Of course, the same can be said of all of us!} ::)
"It's waning!" Said LARRY TALBOT, one night,
"No more evil, from me, for a double fortnight!"
"I'd much rather be dead,
Than, live, through it, again!"
... Ah, but, such, was this WOLF MAN'S plight!
Dear Baron and Fang-mily, I tend to get carried away (usually by the white coats) I suppose writing in such dark prose.
I may have my demons and a dark side,
But what can you expect from an insane Hyde,
May be I can tone down the heckle,
For I am the good doctor Jekyll,
And we all know what comes before a fall, me and my pride,
So I'll endeavour to change before that wild ride.
QuoteI've stumbled back into the ring,
for yet another limerick to sing,
but like standing at a public urinal,
I've gone shy and can't go at all.
sorry
Terry since you had to bring up the public urinal, perhaps we should examine this, found written on the stall in the UMA restroom:
Here I sit broken hearted
Tried to Limerick but barely started
To those who read these lines of wit:
it would be dangerous to admit
anonymous bosch
Phew! that was close when I read the line broken hearted, I had a thought of you on the stall Packy. What would your line have been that rhymed with "broken hearted?). It's O.K people you can rest easy theres no foul winds coming our way.
So before you come out of the stall,
Leave your name and rank on the restroom wall,
And remember you belong to this mans army so stand tall,
And keep up those limericks for you have some gall,
Now take a quick run and watch you don't fall.
Having little or no thought at all
On Loo walls they always do scrawl.
With bockety timing,
And purloined rhyming
Their prose doth certainly appall.
"Meek"
Whence said Thread "goes off its Nutter",
MEEK'S "gentle hint", doth, Good Reason, mutter,
So, let's crawl, out, o' ye Pit o' Slime,
A-fresh, ourselves, with verse, sublime,
As we draw our minds, out, o' ye vile gutter!
```````````````````````````````
There, once, was a MONSTER, quite gross,
Wif attitude, bad, &, temper, morose,
Before 'e went barmy,
'E joined the UNIVERSAL MONSTER ARMY,
Now, 'e writes LIMERICKS {... or, sumph'n', quite close! ;) }
Good day to you baron and the motley crew. The monsters of late have lost their mandate, so now is the time to make them all great.
How to stop an rampaging Mummy,
You could try the old double whammy,
Or a gun blast and a quick spear stab,
The betting's are you'll still end up on a slab,
You could try a tried and true flim flammy,
By throwing him your great grandmammy,
If all else fails use a flaming touch for him to grab,
Hopefully he'll turn to ash while you make a quick dash back to the lab.
The Creature's not easy to get,
He breaks my line and shreds my net.
But I hold up a snap-
shot of Flipper and: ZAP!
He remembers his fish etiquette.
Greets, MAURICE! Good one {as usual}! ;D
&, PACKY, your observation proves, that, he's a real CREATURE ... of Habit! ;)
`````````````````````````````````
DRACULA awoke, when the sun arose,
Before he spoke, it hit his nose,
It made him sneeze,
&, unto dust, explode,
He forgot, poor Lad, his coffin-lid, to close!
```````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Thank you Tim for the encouragement for I know that it was sincerely meant. Of sequels I now dwell, as you know full well and meets and greets get on so swell.
The Frankenstein monster lay under an ice trap,
Along came Talbot and found him in his nap,
For the secrets of life and death he was led by map,
So he released the monster, but he caused a town flap,
The two titans of fear fought when the monster had got his zap,
And the Wolfman jumped for his neck to snap,
But plans were made for the dam and it blew up in their lap.
DWIGHT FRYE'S Career was launched, at a very odd ANGLE,
For, most, of the time, he ended up, getting STRANGLED;
DRAC, once, broke his BACK,
He got hung up, by FRANK,
And, when, he helped HENRY, to "go fly a kite", he got MANGLED!
`````````````````````````````````````
... My computer has been down, for the past 4 days... good, to be back!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
How, on Earth, did we, ever, get, to LIMERICK Post # 250?! :o
Why, with, all, of our wits, churning, along, quite nifty! ;D
From PACKY, GENERAL TERRY & MEEK, ::)
To IVAN, MAURICE & some WEREWOLF Geek, ;)
And, so many others, who've offered their little mad "GIFTIE"! :-*
```````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Welcome back our great and powerful Tim, you were missed and all because of a rotten computer sim.
With our poor baron's computer broke,
The limerick thread has run amok,
And 250 posts so far and not one joke,
It's a wonder that the thread never went up in smoke,
With all the good, the bad and the downright ugly you could choke,
I sometimes wonder why the Baron did not earlier croak.
Here I sit, all broken hearted
Inside my ship; deployment's started
I can't log on that much
so I'll write just a touch
But my trip overseas will be well post-carded
Ah my friend Ivan it is good to hear your salty voice especially from our navy novice. So here is a rhyme from the five and dime.
Cats may be afraid of water,
But werewolves can for that matter,
So don't feel sad come on the post and natter,
Because we here are all as mad as a hatter,
And we all have limericks to slaughter.
To our dear MONSTER Brother, IVAN: "ANCHORS, AWAY!"
You live, in our hearts, whilst, on the ocean, you play,
Time will run, fast,
until, m'Lad, at last,
You return, to us, fully; as, for this, we pray.
```````````````````````````````````````````````
GOD-SPEED, Dear Friend!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
A life on the ocean wave might be all the rave, now hear this Ivan you behave.
With our Ivan now aboard his naval ship,
It is up to us to not let the board slip,
But to wave a hearty farewell and to get a firm grip,
And to toast our good fellow with wine sip,
Plus say Godspeed and have a safe trip.
------------ One, from COLUMN A -----------------
4 THOUSAND & 13 Brave Souls have, now, read this thread,
Dost think, that, they might have a screw, loose, in the head?
To have read, the more, than, 250 replies,
They may, not, be nuts; in fact, quite, wise,
That, they allow us, our frothy madness, to be said, in their stead.
------------ &, One, from COLUMN B -------------
This thread hath been read, now, 4000 & 13 times,
What is it, that, excites this interest, in Rhymes?
Do they await our fall, from verbal grace?
Known, by the resounding "SPLAT", of our face,
Upon the low LIMERICK grounds; apt PUN-ishment, for our crimes?
``````````````````````````````
Thank you! I'll be here all week; please, be sure to tip your Waitress! ;D
I think it's the "driving past a train wreck" syndrome: it's horrid, but you just can't stop looking at it ;)
George
Dear Brother, GEORGE,
... And, your point is?... ROTFLMAO! Seriously, Thou mayest ha'e hit ye nail, on ye proverbial head! Since Thou hast spaketh, out o' THY BRAVE FACE, with coherent thought, herewith, is a reprise, sans the usual Limerick Meter: {With apologies, to SIR PAUL McCARTNEY; feel free, to hum along}: ;)
```````````````````````````````````````
MISTER RAMSEY notified me,
But, he didn't make a LIMERICK, so, he couldn't post, for free,
I had another thought, and, it really punished me,
{And, a Flutter-By}
{My logic really smelt, so, I stick it, in your eye!}
FANGS, on HARRY POTTER,
FANGS, that would not die,
FANGS, on HARRY POTTER,
So do not ask me why!
---------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Ahhh - The luridly lucid, if, polluted, Stream of Consciousness, where train-wrecks occur with care-free abandon!
Oh the pain of rejection, many a night I've spent thinking of a new interaction, its not easy when you have to do the sole projection. So my friend George this ones for you.
You may think of yourself as the Uber-Nerd,
But I'm not sure if thats what you heard,
We have to make rhymes like Richard the third,
or face Karloff the executioner with his eye brows flared.
OR
By George it is a train wreck,
I cant look even to check,
Oh it's only a damned rhyme,
if only I had a spare nickel or dime,
Then I could ask for them to leave the flight deck,
As my plane leaves from this foul and below attack.
This is the DAY, in which we honour LABOUR, :)
A HOLIDAY, meant, to provide a restful Favour, :P
I must be a Jerk; >:(
I, still, have to work, :(
But, the additional paycheck, is something I savour! ;D
````````````````````````````````````````````
HAPPY LABOUR DAY, ALL! :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
For you all at Halloween (Bennett Cerf the web style)
What a marvelous beast the skeleton
his head can hold more than his belly can,
with a peek in his skull
all those brains mean he's full -
You may think he can't think but quite wellecan!
HAHAHAH and yuk yuk yuk
Good day to you Packy, I thought that your rhyme was quite tacky. So if you don't like this just call me backy.
skeleton's you say are good for a rattle,
But did you know that most were lost in battle,
So it's a quick slash to the funny bone,
That will certainly make his lack of body go prone,
And give the gossips a chance to tattle,
While we head off into the sunset with horse and cattle.
AND A GREAT day back Mr Horror - say, did you hear the one about...?....
Two skellies walked into a bar
but they sure didn't get very far.
There were folks wearing bibs
and eyeballing their ribs,
for the sign backwards read Q-B-BAR!
Buddy can you spare a rhyme, for your limerick was just Divine. Way to go Packy and I'm sorry to have used the term tacky it should have been wacky. So long as you don't hold it against me AghHHHHHHH!
Alas poor Yorick I knew him well,
In some damp ground he doth now dwell,
His skull is now a trophy which ain't to swell,
And on Moonlight nights his soul can still give out a yell,
So fear not for our friend as he is far from the pit's of hell,
Because he had a poets heart that death could not quell.
There once was a Hunchback, named FRITZ,
Who was, really, a terrible DITZ;
Abnormal brain, he SWITCHED;
Gave DOC FRANKENSTEIN, FITS,
But, "ITS RECIPIENT" hung him, high, "ON THE FRITZ" LIST!
`````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Ah dear Baron Tim it is always a pleasure to hear from you, and to take in your alternative view.
Be it ever so humble theres no place like home,
Now if you were a hunchbacked fiend bent like a gnome,
It would be hard for you to sing without the metronome,
So drink that honey for your sore throat and watch out for that mouth foam,
Then you'll feel ready to give that great concert beyond the thunderdome.
THE WONDER, OF THE ANCIENT WORLD
-------------------------------------------
THE MUMMY, KHARIS, drinks TANA LEAF TEA,
Yet, never, seems, to need, to stop & pee!
Too much trouble, to unwrap,
Or, to take a crap, unhook his briefs?
He showed me, in silence, the Hieroglyph:"BAH! RELIEF!"
.......................................................................
Whatsamatta, KHARIS? BAST got your tongue?!
.......................................................................
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Recipe for Sun baked Mummy, I hope that it will taste oh so yummy.
Take one Egyptian priest, keep him in the Sun to bake,
After one-hour turn him completely, in case he starts to cake,
Then hold his head for his foul tongue to take,
Remember to wrap him in bandages as a human snake,
When that part of him is done add some water from the lake,
Now boil in oil and incense and after that give him a good shake,
Don't forget to add a portion of tans leaves should the need arise for him to make,
Place in a tomb and seal with an added curse for 3000 years then leave to flake.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
... Speaking, of treats, here's a tricky one:
````````````````````````````````````````
Nightfall brings an evil wave, of stark terror,
Those Un-Dead Children, of VLAD, THE IMPALER,
From coffin and crypt, they arise,
To, eerily, fill nocturnal skies,
With wings, damned, to seek, out, a blood-red dinner!
`````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The Phantom of the Opera appeared
As all opera patrons had feared
But his mood was quite good
when he met Otis B Driftwood
And that Night at the Opera even he cheered
COUNT DRACULA bit GROUCHO'S Funny-Bone,
For, he'd, always, wanted a Comedic Vampire Clone,
He laughed: "Vot der heck!",
Two little Marx, left, on his neck,
were HARPO & CHICO, in some TWILIGHT ZONE! ::)
My two favorite Ghouls have posted today, both Tim and Ivan no way!
On Skull island there was a brontosaurus,
To spell that we would need a good thesaurus,
Also there was a cheesy movie called Dinosaurus,
But in order to rhyme like a pro see BARON TIMOTHEUS!
My man Ivan has a scary name,
But I know full well his little game,
maybe just once I might try the same,
As he is a mean werewolf to tame,
His passion is howling at the moon in frame,
Yet theres always that bit who would kill and maim,
And as we know Transylvanian creatures are always to blame.
Some claim Dracula was the fallen apostle Judas
And I've read that a werewolf was the murderer Barabbas
To discover if there's any truth to 'em
I'll soon be in the city of Jerusalem
And I'll report back my findings to the class
Why do I suddenly feel like standing in a tea chest and singing "O' Jerusalem"?
(see Monty Python's "The Mattress Sketch" Oops! I meant "Dog Kennel Sketch")
No ryhme but a bit of reason.
"MeeK"(And if those feet in ancient times, walked upon England's mountains green . . .)
"And if those feet in ancient times,
Walked upon England's mountains green",
They were webbed & I was plucked,
For eating beans {Of all the luck!},
Ignore this last line, which, by all accounts, ends, obscene! :-*
A Major Compliment, ;D from Br'er MAURICE,
Humbles me; yet, I shan't desist, nor, decease,
From Limericks,
I get my kicks,
Devising Visions, of MONSTERDOM; my sole release!
;D "But in order to rhyme like a pro see BARON TIMOTHEUS!" ;D
'Tis, oft, been said, that: "HE'D BE BETTER OFF, DEAD!", :'(
That, my life, a worthless joke, for the grave, is meant, :-\
No more loaded weep-puns, >:(
Nor, Diarrheal Limerick Runs, :-[
Proof, positive, that: "THERE'S, ALWAYS, TOMB FOR IMPROVEMENT!" ;D
Before the Baron lets his spirit soar
and leaves his body lying stiff on the floor
Consider his continued contributions
even after this grim resolution
because death's never stopped Timotheus before
My thinking process may split my mind,
And my wit not far behind,
But it's good to see my two friends back to the grind,
For making limericks I always try to be kind,
Now and again I like them to be neatly lined,
So in the end I try to avoid being fined,
For all those I sometimes have maligned.
"A limerick a day", MAURICE believes, "keeps the Baron at bay",
IVAN writ: {I saw} "his body lying stiff on the floor", just today!
That Olde WEREWOLF Blighter,
Must be a real GHOST-WRITER,
"Death's never stopped Timotheus before!" As Br'er IVAN might say!
... I suffer, from the same complex, that, LARRY TALBOT has: "I cannot die!"
Compound that, with the fact, that, electrolysis was a real waste of time & $...
The Baron as we know cannot die,
As his life is made up like slices from a pie,
Shiney things appeal to him like a magpie,
So ask him a question for he cannot lie,
As for his creature features in a contest he might tie,
When all is said and done he might cry Semper fie!
Two very funny fellows, were ABBOTT & COSTELLO,
Comedic timing; perfect! Even, when DRACULA said "HELLO!"
'Though, THE MONSTERS "Died",
'Twas, an uproarious Ride,
For, with THEIR last breath, their Laughter did BELLOW!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
He embedded Silent Films, with his powerful demeanor,
Of Charismatic MONSTERS, did LON CHANEY, SENIOR;
Creating outstanding VAMPIRE and QUASIMODO,
MR. WU, MARINE, CLOWN and DESPERADO,
His Consummate Work: ERIK, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!
On Moonlight nights werewolves do prowl,
From the spine of a tree the hoot of an owl,
Grave diggers dig with the end of a trowel,
Voodoo worshippers dance with their fowl,
Vampires are seen with fangs that growl,
All of them together make beautiful music that can rock and howl.
My TV screen kept "THEM", alive, all year,
FMOF, daily, refreshed my fascination & fear,
In the strange face, of the 1960's,
"THEY" simplified life's complexities,
Becoming "THEM", at HALLOWEEN, brought me great cheer!
----------------------------------
... Coming soon to an OCTOBER 31st, near YOU! ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Ah, I'm back from the rim feeling a bit trim, but my place is safe with my friend Tim.
High above the opera stands the phantom with his cloak wind flapped,
Over the Paris skyline his mind just snapped,
His beloved has ruined his romance he mapped,
For in his caverns he could leave them trapped,
He could work on the chandelier and have it dropped,
Or he could tie rope for their necks to be lapped,
No, in the end it is he who gets slapped.
Good to hear friend Maurice is back
Between him and Tim I am but a hack
my poetry is a bit unconventional
and my rhymes are, at best, rather questionable
But the worst is, that my participation is slack!
Welcome my friend Ivan, I wish you all the best in your bright blue navy vest. So with the waves crest I'll always enjoy your jests.
With scary monsters it is hard to retort,
For you know them with their growls and snort,
Even Abbot and Costello got to meet and they were tall and short,
But so long as you are armed with anti-monster gear nothing is a last resort.
To My Dear World-Wide Brothers, MAURICE & IVAN,
... With convention plans, work and, sleep, I've been, remorsefully, delinquent, as to my on-line duties. I've composed this ode, to chronicle how the best laid plans, of mice & men, can, oft, be blown awaaaayyyyy!
``````````````````````````````````````````
Thanks, to the massive efforts, of IKE, Hurricane, insane,
Gas cost is, now, prohibitive, so, mayhap, I'll refrain,
From a trip, to Convention SCAREFEST;
Lexington, out-of-gas; now, a mess,
At least, for Limericks, I can, still, wrack my demented brain!
```````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Ooohh! :o My Beloved UMA FANG-MILY,
... The final crush, of Time, is, upon us! Steady, as she goes, &, Full-Speed, ahead!
``````````````````````````````````````````
September's weeks are, loudly, ticking, Ticking, TICKING,
Like, a detonation device, fatefully, its timer clicking,
OCTOBER is set, on Explosive Overload,
A real BLAST, you'll know, if, Truth, be told,
And, your taste, in BORIS KARLOFF, you'll indulge, in picking!
`````````````````````````````````````````````
... A LACK-OF-SHAME PLUG, for THE CLASSIC MOVIE MONSTER CON! ;D
www.moviemonstercon.com
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Well said baron, in the immortal words of Henry Frankenstein "It''s alive" and so are our posts.
It is always best to have a quick backward look,
Especially if you're alone or by a brook,
You never know what lurks there or what nature has forsook,
Remember to carry your copy of the Myths and creatures book,
If this is not the case then be prepared for your life to be took,
Or like Crystal lake there is always one kook.
A MONSTER KID must have, &, live, the ultimate Desire,
Rooms, full, of toys, mags & models, are required,
Please, don't call me a Liar,
For, I'm a famous VAMPIRE,
Who, after moving, to America, had his coffin, burned, in a FIRE!
{... WHO AM I? ... Hint: Not, Playing, with a Full Deck!}
{... And, try, to respond, in a Limerick-y fashion.}
Growing up in the 70s I wasn't quite right
I cheered for Dracula in LOVE AT FIRST BITE
I wanted Renfield to kill the film's hero
who's plots to 'save' his girl amounted to zero
when she and Drac both flew off in the night
The THING came from outer space
but if it touches you it could wear your face
Don't react to it in anger
if it's your doppleganger
Just quickly get out of the place
Hello to you both Tim and Ivan, it's so nice to have you back where you belong (Sorry about that Dolly).
To answer the good Baron's riddle,
Could it be somewhere around the middle,
As the U.S has a lot of swamp land,
We know that it is not the Mummy's hand,
The clue is that the female victim tried to diddle,
The Son of Dracula, while his coffin burnt he did not like Nero fiddle.
I haven't been at this thread in a while
but it always brings a smile
Unfortunately I tend to get sick
reading poorly composed limericks
And as I sit and type this post
I feel my stomach begin to bloat
Excuse me please, I'm feeling ill
Get out of the way, I'm about to spew!
There, once, was an Irishman, named MAURICE,
Who, poetically, rhymed words, like, HOMER, from GREECE,
With Classically rapt fascination,
He'd reach his thought's destination,
Amazing his readers, with his astute verbal GOLDEN FLEECE!
--------------------------------------------
... And, Yes! Dear Brother, SON OF DRACULA, it is! ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
```````````````````````````````
POSTS-CRYPT:
Brother TERRY, hope you feel better real soon! :-* A kiss is as good as a spew! Although, a spew doth offer a warm meal! ;)
Brother IVAN, charming recapitulations! 8)
I bow to your wisdom Baron as I am flattered by your words, I thank you from my heart. Now who made that mess upon the floor?
As I've visited this post before,
This is the first time someone has left a spew,
I may come from a distant shore,
But putting words together is hard work, phew,
Thats why I always come back because it is something I adore.
This one's for you Terry, Mein General.
There was once a famous monster from Minneapolis,
Who tried very hard to topple us,
What he did not know was we came prepared from the neotropolis,
With our own bizarro Superman fresh out of Metropolis,
So now we can stand and limerick before the huge populace.
There, once, was, in Minnesota, a GENERAL TERRY, ;D
whose attempts, at Limericks, were, quite, SCARY, :o
His couplets, all, RHYMED, :D
At least, most, of the TIME, :'(
As can be read, in this thread, where, said talent is BURIED! ;)
````````````````````````````````````
... Sorry, that, I've been, for several days, M.I.A.
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
There once was a Monster Kid from Minnesota
Who feared the Limmericks wouldn't meet their quota
but when he takes a quick look, he's
left tossing his cookies
To settle his stomache he should drink a soda
Ivan, I won't ask what you were doing in Elvira's bedroom. Next time wipe those big feet you left hairs all over the place, what were you doing NO don't answer that.
In Victorian times the lady would wade in her pantaloon,
Even though the water was deep and they filled up like a balloon,
The risk may have seemed great but that was too soon,
Now remember that this was the time of the silvery moon,
Having no fear she swam to far and became a meal for the creature in his beloved lagoon.
.
No reflection, casts, He, in the mirror,
Yet, after sunset, the very visage, of fear,
On the wings, of the night,
He made, out, all right,
VLAD DRACULA drinks blood, like, it's beer!
---------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Listen to them the children of the night,
What music they make when the Moon is full and bright,
Through darkest nights and oddly coloured light,
They are ready to do their work, which is fright,
Wolves howl and the deadly bat takes flight,
All is well in the World of monsters, as is there given right.
Back in the thread after being sick
my head spinning from another bad limerick
Baron, Ivan, and TV Horror
all hack lyricists using Internet Explorer
Maybe my limericks aren't what they should be
still Eminem ain't got sh*t on me
I'm from the land of 10,000 lakes
back in this thread and raising the stakes
Peace out.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... As CHARLES DICKENS, once, writ, unto his son: "This life is half made up, of Partings."
I'll post, as I have the time, about our staggering loss, of LINDA; yet, Champion, of our Limerick thread, as she was, I couldn't reserve any subject, save her, for this next offering, as follows:
````````````````````````````````````````````
Comrades, True, cannot be lost; they dwell, BEYOND,
Subtler, than ever, they continue, to respond,
Without our Beloved MEEK,
Our House doth seem, a little bleak,
But, Dear LINDA, BE, at PEACE, Thine Earthly battle, WON.
`````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMOTHY FRANCIS MEYER HERRON, BY GOD'S GRACE
Thank you Baron for that wonderful devotional to our beloved Meek. This thread ain't ever gonna be the same. :'(
I don't think anything about these forums will ever feel the same to me. I only knew Linda through the UMA, but her influence will stay with us all for as long as we remain monster kids.
To a dear and absent forum friend I salute you sweet Linda, God bless and take care of you. Maurice from Northern Ireland.
Our beloved Linda (Meek) Miller,
That most gentle and talented rose,
The light has dimmed and drawn to a close,
But on this forum her memory remains as a pillar,
Now is not the time to feel morose,
So celebrate her short life as she is in repose.
Dear TERRY, ROBERT, IVAN, MAURICE & UMA FAMILY,
... I, too, met LINDA, at THE MONSTER BASH.
... Shy, yet, slyly Intuitive, she was/IS a most fascinating Person. We carried on a couple of convivial and pun-filled conversations; it was great, to meet the Being, whose postings, I'd enjoyed, so much. It was easy to see the vast Well-Spring, from which they came.
... She sent me the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA book, that, will aid me, in "capturing" ERIK, as, both, FRANKENSTEIN & DRACULA have been funneled through me. I am, ever, in her debt.
... And, as SCRIPTURE states: "Owe no one anything, except, a debt, of LOVE."
... This, I Believe; This, I Know:
... LINDA/MEEK: You are Living, EVERNOW, in LOVE DIVINE; Your heightened Knowledge, and, Love, of us, connects you, to us, still.
... May I be the first, to welcome your Presence, unseen, in The Unfathomable Mystery, of GOD, "Who holds all Creation together, in HIS Own Very BEING."
... BE, EVERNOW, a Prayer-Warrior, Of LOVE DIVINE; purposed, to act, with the same Merciful Tenderness, that, you showed, during your Earth-Life, on our behalf. PEACE, BE WITH YOU.
... TERRY, you are correct; this thread will never be the same.
... May it be Deepened, Hallowed, by our Spiritual Awareness, of MEEK'S Dazzling Presence.
---------------------------------------
MEEK WILL INHERIT THE HEAVENS...
---------------------------------------
LINDA was, on first glance, just another person,
Unassuming; one, of Iowa's best hidden Treasures;
Filled, like us, with a uniquely singular devotion,
To The CLASSIC MONSTERS, which gave her heart pleasure.
While Earth's fragile treasures beguiled her eye,
Her heart was, by far, too rich, to succumb,
She measured Reality, discerningly, wise,
Knowing, that, Life was, more, than its sum.
Another Great Soul, Awakening; Blessed;
Giving, from her heart, effortlessly,
She was a Kaleidoscope, of Giftedness,
Creating Heaven, on Earth, her Being was Free.
She gladdened every Life, whom, she touched,
With her intellect, jovial wit and generosity,
For her endless giving, her Reward is, NOW, Much,
Much, more, than she could imagine, that, IT could BE.
Our grief, in MEEK'S passing, is, only, fitting and true,
Beneath our sorrow, our Love heals us, in THE UNION, past Time,
We know, that, she's, EVERNOW, by LOVE DIVINE, Re-Newed,
Awaiting, our Infinite Meeting, in Undying Glory, Sublime.
-------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMOTHY FRANCIS MEYER HERRON, BY GOD'S GRACE
My Beloved Family,
... So, onward, we go... MEEK would've wanted us to do this.
... In Honour, of her, to whom this curious feast meant so much:
`````````````````````````````````````````````
THE MONSTERS were vexed; most, of them, cried,
As word reached their ears, that Dear MEEK had died,
"Our light shines through film,
And, now, is quite dim,
Compared, to MEEK'S New Glory, as LOVE trumps our pride."
``````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Baron, your words bring comfort to a heavy heart. Thank you my friend. I needed that.
TERRY,
... GOD Bless you, my Dear Brother; We keep our eyes, on the imperishable prize.
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, B.G.G.
Conventions, by nature, are a Human invention,
So, celebrating CLASSIC MONSTERS may seem an odd intention,
Yet, they remind us, of us,
From our depths, to our crust,
Via our free will, to choose Good, or, evil, as our Identity Retention.
I've been unsure that I want to continue
Linda's passing has left a pall on this venue
But though I still grieve
her spirit shall never leave
And our rhymes here can serve as a tribute
Well said Ivan. Well said. We owe it to Linda to continue with these limericks. She would have it no other way.
Today, 'tis the Autumnal Equinox, the first day, of Fall,
Summer is fleeting, o'er green leaves, comes the pall,
Of Death, certain & inescapable,
Earth's Life-cycles, unstable,
Yet, as Autumn leaves, to die, beautifully, is the wish, of, us, all.
TERRY'S birthday lands, on this First day, of Fall, :o
A laugh, by contrast, as he's so young and all, ::)
His face may be scarred, :'(
But, he's, really, 5-STAR, ;)
And, in GENERAL, 'tis agreed, that, he's quite, "ON THE BALL!" ;D
... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, yet, again, Dear FRIEND, &, B.G.G., Many, Many More!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
E-GAD, KERRY,
... You & The Crew, have done it, AGAIN!
------------------------------------------------
I've just got, to Praise MONSTER KID MAGAZINE, NUMBER SEVEN,
It fills my Lucky, Happy Heart, like, really GOOD LEAVEN,
Due, to KERRY GAMMILL & Company's Faithful Attention,
It deserves 1st, 2nd & 3rd Place, as well as Honourable Mention,
The Bliss, of which, keeps me, in the Realm, of MONSTER KID HEAVEN!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
There, once, was a Doctor, named JEKYLL,
Whom, "Better Living, Through Chemistry", did pickle,
It changed him, from deep inside,
All, the way, out, to his HYDE,
Then, changed him, back, again,... HOW FICKLE!
There once was a creature from the Black Lagoon
Who loved to swim by the light of the moon
But while he lazed about on the beach
the Sun came and dried out the Creach
Seems he fell asleep and didn't wake until noon.
There is a MONSTER KID Sailor, named IVAN, ;)
Whose deep MONSTER Limericks were THRIVIN'; ;D
He sent out these POSTS, ::)
About MONSTERS & GHOSTS, :o
Much, of which he'd seen, in his youth, at THE DRIVE-IN! 8)
Just to remind evertone that tomorrow (Sept.26th) is a Special Monster Day:
This wish comes from little ol' Josie
As well as the Universal Monster Army
You taught us to scream
To live the Monster dream
Happy Birthday to you John Zacherle
Halloween is soon on the way
And the Werewolves are ready to bay
Show the classics this year
But they won't is my fear
Just keep Michael and Jason away
Freddy and Chucky may not be classics
but diss all the slashers and you may get your ass kicked
I have no love for Leatherface
Just give me Pinhead and Norman Bates
They helped to keep horror films fantastic
The older Classic Monster films are "a cut, above",
The "Slasher Flicks", with their knife-blade gloves,
Fiends, FREDDY, JASON & MICHEAL,
Owe a Great Debt, to UNIVERSAL,
Whose Supernatural Series gave us, all, MONSTERS, to Love!
In honor of Zacherley's 90th Birthday today...
A werewolf once tore his own hide
To find out just what was inside....
He ripped and he tore, til his hands ran with gore...
But before he found out, HE DIED!
Happy Birthday, Zach
Dear Brother, GASPORT,
... I agree; on behalf, of THE UMA HORROR HOST Regiment, we extend our Grateful Salutations, to our Dear Olde DAD!
`````````````````````````````````````````````````
We Bless and Acknowledge ZACHERLEY, as "The TOPS"! :D
Every HORROR HOST has the Right, to call him, "POPS"! ::)
For being NINETY, he's awfully SPRY; ;)
One look, at him, tells you, WHY, :o
He Celebrates Life, with his wide smile, that, never STOPS! ;D
``````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Didn't listen to what the other kid's say
Just had to grow up my own way
An outcast little fiend
For reading Creepy magazine
And Monsters are still my best friends today
Spent the day, at SAM'S, in FRANKENSTEIN Make-Up,
Whene'er I do, I'm pleased, by a most pleasant wake-up,
Most young kids, of Today,
Know who I am, right away,
When The Day comes, our MONSTER KID Banner they'll take up!
One, of my dearest friends, is THE WEREWOLF OF LONDON, ;D
You'd know him, most days, as the Good Doctor, GLENDON, ::)
Yet, when the FULL MOON holds SWAY, :o
You'd, best, get, out, of HIS WAY, >:(
Lest, THE BEAST claim you, as Victim & your life, be ENDIN'. :'(
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
... Yes; a variable re-tread... expanded beginning, different ending...
... Closer, to WARREN ZEVON'S Song, i.e: "he'll rip your lungs out, Jim!"
``````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
PAUL NEWMAN was human, and, still, brightly, shone,
The Star, of many movies, his craft, of Acting, to hone,
Yet, to him, there was, much, more,
His generous Charities, galore,
Making Heaven, on Earth, he was quite near, when GOD called him HOME!
```````````````````````````````````````
PAUL NEWMAN, REST IN PEACE!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMOTHY, B.G.G.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... Priming the pump, on this final day, o' September!
----------------------------------------------------------
Tomorrow begins the Month, called OCTOBER,
When WERE-WOLVES become a MAN, called DOBER,
They live, in the BOG,
And, eat, like, a HOG,
Those AQUALUNG hobos, who ain't always SOBER!
----------------------------------------------------------
HAPPY HALLOWEEN... All Month, Long! ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
September has ushered in the Fall
The season I look forward to most; don't we all?
Now October is here
We have reason to cheer
And if it's werewolves you fear, give me a call
MARLENA DIETRICH, oft, said: "IVAN, TO BE ALONE!"
THE UMA, in its own wise way, always, carries a CLONE,
IVAN'S Posts have brought him FAME,
So, LILI MARLENE wasn't hip, to his GAME,
Or, take the time , to ring him up, on the TELEPHONE!
```````````````````````````````````````````
... Despite a too-busy life, October Greetings, to all, especially, Dear Brothers, IVAN & MAURICE!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Dear friends I have been very busy on a few projects but now I have returned like an ill prepared meal. Happy Horrorween season to my friends on the forum and a personal thank you to my mentor the baron and his cubling Ivan.
I hold this forum to my heart most dear,
Among it's threads are a lot of friends I try to adhere,
My limerick's might fall short but have no fear,
With my return I'm now in full throttle gear.
With the season of the witch comes costumes and candy
And stores start selling monster swag, which is handy
But don't pity me
though I'll be out to sea
We're having a haunted house and costume contest, which is dandy
A LONG DIN-DIN, WITH RENFIELD
-----------------------------------------
Or: WHAT'S ALL THIS BUZZ ABOUT?!
````````````````````````````````
IVAN'S post #514 mirrors the undisputed and unconscionable, FACT,
That, this Limerick Thread's been read 5414 times, so, "TAKE A CRACK",
At composing your own odd Ode, to THE MONSTERS' "CLASS ACT";
Requires, less, than, HALF, of a WIT, &, even, {isn't it obvious? ;)} far less, TACT,
Proving, that, vinegar, laced, with honey, many more FLIES shall ATTRACT!
`````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Tim and Maurice are perfect examples
of monster limericks; just check out their samples
No need to wait for inspiration
Quantity, not quality, is my only qualification
Our poems may be lousy, but our poetry's ample
Thank you my friends for an incredible thread
I echo all that Brother Timothy said
Ti's thread is indeed popular and very well read
If only more members would post here instead
* Jump into the mix, and take a stab at composing your own limerick.
It's fun, it's relaxing, it's creative, and it's safe for the whole family!
Examino Everynow .. or whatever the Baron says. ;D
Seriously though folks. If this keeps up, we'll have to publish a new book entitled "WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead!"
A complete study in nonsensical and commonsensical prose. A collection featuring the best of!
A UMA exclusive!
Quote from: fmofmpls on October 05, 2008, 12:42:59 PM
Seriously though folks. If this keeps up, we'll have to publish a new book entitled "WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead!"
A complete study in nonsensical and commonsensical prose. A collection featuring the best of!
A UMA exclusive!
A book of our poetry? Surely you jest!
With so many entries, what would pass the test?
You'd have to be squirrelly
(and yes, I called you 'Shirley')
To think any of these verses could be best!
I am glad to join the fold
of monsters, ghosts and goblins bold
to discuss our loves, our interests, our lives
Lagosi, Korloff and Dr. Phibes
while shaking off my mental mold.
(Thanks for the board!)
The call has been given, verses ready at ten paces or less. These are hard times but a bad pun will enlighten the fun or my name is not TV horror.... king of the old rerun.
If you enjoy horror from New York to Maine,
There are not many flaws for you to blame,
So if you don't post your reasons must be lame,
A hearty welcome to our new member Auntie Maim,
And please feel free to post more of the same.
Welcome to the Army, Auntie Maim
We got your first ever post here to claim
As a tribute to the horror movie
Your limerick is pretty groovy
And now we'll always remember your name
24 pages, of LIMERICK Stages, where we stretch, beyond our feeble REACH,
Oft, too low, yet, still, Soap-boxes, upon which, we UMA Punsters do PREACH;
GEN'L TERRY Jumps, in the GAME;
Now, with PRAISE, &, not, BLAME!
Will we, ever, be the same, or, with our dear AUNTIE MAIM, claim: LIFE'S A BEACH!
````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
the sky is drab and long
a lone bird flies overhead
mechanics of the day's routine begin
a daily performance exhausted by repetition
it's Monday again
******************
P.S. Do these things have to rhyme?
Quote from: fmofmpls on October 06, 2008, 08:07:51 AM
the sky is drab and long
a lone bird flies overhead
mechanics of the day's routine begin
a daily performance exhausted by repetition
it's Monday again
******************
P.S. Do these things have to rhyme?
If you are trying to make a genuine LIMERICK
There's a particular pattern; that's the trick
The first two lines rhyme with each other
And the next two lines make up another
But the fifth rhymes with the first two to stick
Luckily, we don't stand on formality
We'll take any kind of poem in its totality
You can rhyme if you want to
or wax prosaic in haiku
or just put lines together with no regard for format or sequencing or even number of syllables
;)
What's a syllable, is it a silly billy? Hell I just put one and one together until I am done (that rhymes). Thank you Ivan for that little class in how to limerick, now I may never post again as I've been caught out. Yes, I am a faker (I said faker O.K) I have no rules only a lot of useless words.
Universal monsters growl and groan,
But I can assure you that they're not alone,
Think of it as an education,
Monsters rule and are a constant vocation,
Now if I can work out if I'm a clone,
I'll be doubly happy because king Karloff will be on his throne.
Terry felt that he had to confess
That in female garb he used to dress
But his face was so scary,
And his armpits so hairy,
That on the floor I just made a big mess ;)
I'm at my best when I'm in a dress
Face so scary? Surely you jest
Nylons and lipstick are blissful
Ramsey37 hates me because I'm beautiful :-*
I fully support our general's double D's for he is in good company for that see Norman Bates.
Aw, leave poor terry alone with his frilly dress,
For I imagine that he would make you guess,
I know for I have been at his behest,
So for Halloween make him your number one top invited guest.
I wondered why our Famous Monster had such an androgynous name
Terry's not scary, but Larry or Mary would make Terry's gender too plain.
But if he's really a sweet transvestite
He could give all Transylvania a fright
If he's dressed as Norman's mom they'd all think him insane
Our FAMOUS MONSTER had such an ANN-drogynous mane, ::)
Terry's "Doo" was an integral part, of his Transsexual Fame, :o
His future waxed, very bright, 8)
Save, Waxing his legs took all night, >:(
He dresses, now, as NORMAN BATES' Mom; relief, from his General strain! ;D
I'm not ashamed to admire this time of year,
For that I leave to others more normal to fear,
Ghosts and ghouls may brave the night,
Whereas cowboys and spacemen try as might,
So watch out for those that smirk and sneer,
This season of the witch Halloween, so give a great cheer.
They may have came from outer space,
But how many more bug eyed monsters must we face,
I know that if ever I should meet one my heart would race,
And the only thought in my head would be a double quick pace,
Plus I'm to young to to die without a trace,
Maybe they've just broke down and are in need of a brace,
In that case I'll just act out with a fine friendly grace.
This PRODIGAL SON returns, to our unhallowed ROOST, ;D
To inject a shot, of Humour; this thread, to BOOST, ::)
Not, yet, ALL HALLOW'S E'EN, :D
You, all, know, what I mean, ;)
I'm, still, nasty & green; fearlessly immune, to being GOOSED! :o
``````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Once, I'm told, that, upon a MIDNIGHT, DREARY, :o
E-GeORge, in his prime, looked, like NOAH BEERY, ;)
Silence is GOLDEN, :-X
So, is BILL HOLDEN, :'(
This hand, I'll be foldin', lest you call RAY FERRY! >:(
`````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
As everybody knows, the Baron knows best,
Monsters are good for you as are the rest,
He feels so proud that his buttons pop on his vest,
With being a horror host from his family crest,
There might be an odd time when he goes round beating his chest,
But we'll forgive him this little Trieste,
Because he represents this army from east to west.
AN HOMAGE, TO OUR DEAR IRISH BROTHER, MAURICE
`````````````````````````````````````````
Such a plethora, of zany, mad, POETS, abound,
Running amok, upon The UMA'S unhallowed grounds,
You'll find it, impossible, to keep us, bound, gagged & quiet,
Because our discerning public just wouldn't buy it,
So, 'though, our Limerick earnings turn up, "Broke",
We, still, remain, the most understanding, of Blokes;
We refuse, to let a little fact, like, no money, get us down!
... We Now Return You, To Your Regular Programming...
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Page #25, on this Limerick thread, I have STARTED,
Noisy fanfare; hmmm, sounds, like, somebody FARTED,
Nearly, 6000 have READ 'EM,
This slop, that, we've FED 'EM,
Yet, they keep returning, for our "STAKE-IN-THE-HEART", ED!
`````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Twenty-five pages of poetic rhyme
6000 must think we do this all the time
Our muses are actors of monsters
Like Bela, Boris, and the Lonsters
And we can either tell poems -- or act out pantomime
There, once, was a WOLF-MAN, who dwelt, on a ship, ::)
His name, CRAZY IVAN; who could, not, "get a grip"; >:(
He went, out, of his MIME, :o
He had lots, of Time, 8)
So, Limericks composed, blending poem & quip! ;D
`````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
A BIRTHDAY BLESSING, to our Beloved MON-STAR, BELA LUGOSI,
He lives, in our hearts, where he finds it, quite, COZY,
Gone, since August, of 'Fifty-Six,
Yet, still, up, to his "Olde Tricks",
Like, sucking the blood, from that Batty NANCY PELOSI!
````````````````````````````````````````````````
*** Nothing Political meant, by this; The rhyme demanded it! ***
If anyone can compose a better last line, feel free! ;)
````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
My Birthday, October 23rd, is, just, 'round the corner; :-[
For the 60th time - no, I don't need the Coroner, >:(
Monsters keep me young, ;D
Like YGOR, well hung, :o
Too much rope, yet, I cope, as, both, latter & former! 8)
````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
60? Say it ain't so!
You still have a long way to go
Some birthdays are seen as mixed blessings
But you must still be keeping them guessing
To look at you no one could know.
My dear friend Tim, a hearty greeting from your Irish brother and fellow fan of the horror film. It is not a whim that I take to greet him for he is without doubt quite proper and trim. All the best Baron.
The denizens of the dark may hold sway,
From ages old or too long to say,
One thing is certain our Tim's not old no way,
So I wish him well on this most joyous day,
Hopefully he'll have his fill from the birthday banquet tray.
Baron or Herron - is he Monster or Man?
Born just Timotheus, I'm your biggest fan -
Gliding through one more year
So much love shining clear
If it begs to be done Examinow EverCAN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIM! Many happy returns - (with no late fees)
;D I THANK YOU, EACH & ALL! ;D
{IVAN, MAURICE & PACKY PAUL}
---------------------------------------
Life's Treasure is, truly, Family and Friends,
I am blessed, by your Love, without end,
To be, so, enriched,
Added a fever pitch,
To my birthday's meaning, as B.G.G. doth portend!
```````````````````````````````````````
... GOD Bless you, for these written celebrations, and, to our more silent FANG-MILY members, whom good thoughts & prayer have sent! Heaven on earth Lives, within my heart, for you!
````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Night skies, of HALLOWEEN, again, approach,
Dire fires, of Imagination, begin, to encroach,
As Vampires & Monsters, abound,
Issuing, forth, from fertile ground,
Where they lurk, 24-7, like Atomic Cockroach!
`````````````````````````````````````
HAPPY HOOOOWWLLL-OWEEN, from CASTLE Von WOLFSTEIN!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
DEAR GENERAL TERRY & UMA FANG-MILY,
... An auspicious {or, suspicious} occasion! ::)
````````````````````````````````````
I have just noticed, and, must raise a TOAST, :D
For, if numbers are correct, 'tis my 500th POST, :o
They're, not, for the SQUEAMISH, :-[
Mostly, "OFF-THE-BEAM"-ISH, ;)
I've got 5 TRILLION, more, 'ere "I give, up, the GHOST"! ;D
```````````````````````````````````````````
... do I get a raise in Rank?!
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I think that the Baron is looking a rise, if not in wages then rank wise. So if a vacant moderator post should arise, then he has my vote especially in that guise.
Misty nights are full of dread,
If you have kids then it's off with them to an early bed,
For the children of the night look for veins of blood red,
Care should be taken if you venture forth in a quick step tread,
Or these creatures will not stop until you are well bled,
Lets just hope that they've had fill and have been well fed.
'Tis almost All Hallow's Eve night
When the decorum is truly a sight
May you all be good greeters
to this year's trick-or-treaters
And perhaps inspire a good fright
Happy Halloween!
My ex-wife reveals to us that
Halloween means her best pointed hat.
Orange and black still remind her
that it's harder to find her
blending in with the other old bats.
MMWWAAAHAAHAHA!!!!
This Halloween I'll be all set,
my ghoul face will get them I bet.
They'll be swiftly retreating
when done Trick-or-Treating
I yell BOO! and it scares their pants wet!
HAP-HAPPITY-RAPPITY-SNAPPIEST OF HALLOWEENS MY FELLOW FIENDS!
GET LOTS OF CANDY AND WRECK YOUR DENTEENS
THE REST CAN BE THINE
BUT THE CLARK BARS BE MINE
THE FIRST IN A LONG TIME I'VE SEEN!
Happy Hallowdays!
Moving right along....
I look forward to this Trick-or-treat.
There's this bully who's not so discreet.
But I'll puncture his bag
and abscond with his swag
He'll be sorry he made fun of my sheet!
Bowl of spooky candy things...
breeze on leaves on sidewalk sings.
I see the moon...
...very soon...
THERE! I heard the doorbell ring!
Trick or Treat !
I would much rather have a trick than a treat,
Now scaring the wits out of some helpless victim is some feat,
I should know for I have and it's great,
For I will be in the back of the cinema with a mask at my feet,
Nothing will give me more pleasure than seeing seeing someone jump from their seat.
Happy Halloween from the land of myths and legends, the emerald isle.
"The Hangover"
Jack O Lantern's visage cracks,
spirit drowned in melted wax.
November one
I see the sun
Morning falls like gallows ax!
Out of our beds we silent creep
Fill robes pockets - last night's reap.
Breakfast bars -
Hershey and Mars
Sweet repast, while giants sleep!
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... Due, to Theatrical & work commitments, my time, upon the UMA threads, hath been, laxly, non-existent.
```````````````````````````````````````
Thanks, to the usual crew, of UMA Limerick Felons,
Who, in my absence, kept, up, their pun-ishing tellin's
I enjoyed each morsel,
From gill, to dorsel;
From such fishy tales, with pride I'm swellin'!
{Of couse, this may be the results, from the ill-prepared BLOW-FISH, which I ate, at last night's repast!}
``````````````````````````````````````````
ALL-HALLOWS'-E'EN, again, It's course hath run,
With November 1st's Birth, o' ALL SAINTS' Sun,
But, "you know, that, I would be a liar",
Were I, to preach, that, JACK-O-LANTERN'S Fire,
Extinguished, meant, that, our Unhallowed Night was done!
----------------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & THE MONSTER & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The seasons change, Halloween gone
Monsters' time to leave the lawn
Over for another year
I cannot help but shed a tear
And turn a Uni classic on
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
````````````````````````````````
Now, praise, we, FORRY ACKERMAN,
Beloved, for sharing his MONSTER PLAN,
We're, all, His Kids,
With curious Ids,
So, Thank GOD, for 4E's LONG LIFE-SPAN!
`````````````````````````````````
... My Prayers, too, are added, to all, of yours, for UNCLE FORRY'S continued Health & Well-Being, EVERNOW!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Ackerman's FM was there from the start.
O.k it may not have been a great work of art,
But throughout the years it was always good for a pun,
Forry proved that the classic monsters were fun,
What I do know is that he served them up a la carte.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... Our FORRY is, soon, to be Bourne, away, from this infinitesimally finite life, into the Birth, of The Grander Scope, of PURE BEING!
... The Absolute Freedom, of True Identity, with Unparalleled Awareness, Beyond, what any one, of us, can corporeally conceive, of, or, imagine.
... May, all, of the Love, held, long, within his marvelous, wonder-filled, Child-like Heart, prove him, True, to the only BEING, Worthy, of the NAME, of LOVE DIVINE, to Welcome Him, "HOME"!
... An Aulde CHRISTMAS Carol sang, to mind, with slightly changed, yet, specifically Prayerful Lyric.
````````````````````````````````````````
GOD Rest Ye, FORRY ACKERMAN,
Let, nothing, you dismay,
Remember, you are Loved, by us,
For your Soul, now, we pray,
That, you may know HEAVEN'S Delights,
And, THERE, EVERNOW, STAY!
In GOD'S Abiding Mercy & Joy,
Mercy & Joy,
In GOD'S Abiding Mercy & Joy!
`````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I've been somewhat unwilling to think about Uncle Forry's condition too much; losing him is literally losing THE monster kid. Thank you Maurice and Tim for honoring him in a way I can't, not yet anyway.
THE BRIGHTER SIDE... IS MIRACLE.
--------------------------------------
Our Kith and Kin, UNCLE FORRY hath, long, brought us,
About The CLASSIC MONSTERS, Beloved, he taught us,
But, Life is, far, more,
And, what's, in store,
Past our finite world; LOVE'S LIFE, soon, will, Birth him; the Ultimate PLUS!
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... Ah, November! Birth month, of BORIS, SARA, &, on November 24, 1916, our Beloved UNCLE FORRY! He is, still, with us, remaining, until the final note, of his Earthly Song. May he surpass this up-coming Birthday, with Flying Colours!
... Meanwhile, a new limerick, for this fallow season:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The HUNTER'S MOON sits, quite heavily, and, full,
Upon the horizon, as if taking a blood-thirsty toll,
It's countenance, Eerie,
Signals, HOLIDAYS, Cheery,
Yet, a thousand HALLOWEEN Memories, my brain, now, doth mull!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D HAPPY BELA-ted BIRTHDAY, UNIVERSAL MONSTER ARMY!!! ;D
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A BIRTHDAY TOAST, to our FANG-MILY, THE DEAR OLDE UMA, 8)
Where CLASSIC MONSTER KIDS know, that, they can, happily, play, :)
Difficult, to believe, that, it's, now, NUMBER SIX, :o
I know, though, that, we'll, never, "call it quits", ::)
For, our Love, of UNIVERSAL MONSTERS, will remain, as strong, as it is, today! :-*
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
There, once, was a MONSTER KID, named, MAURICE, 8)
Who hailed, from IRELAND, and, owned THE GOLDEN FLEECE, :o
Spotted, upon the Tram, ;)
Wearing said Glowing RAM, ;D
By ELVIRA & XENA, who fought, over who should give him a Keece... er, KISS! :-*
```````````````````````````````````
... Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou?!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Another Beloved Brother, of my WEREWOLF Clan,
Is Our Maritime Servant, known, as CRAZY IVAN,
He gets my Vote,
That, whilst a-float,
He's THE WOLFMAN, Most Dapper, in his NAVY P-COAT!
`````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
There once was a poet named Tim
Whose poetic subjects were grim
With Phantoms and Creatures
among his fine features
the scariest discuss Maurice and Iv'in
Dear Brother IVAN,
... Spot on & Full MARX {GROUCHO, HARPO, CHICO, ZEPPO & GUMMO!}, Lad! ;D
````````````````````````````````````````````
Please, IV'IN, do not cuss, when discussing the Discus;
Such behaviour alarms the Feds; they might frisk us,
So, comply, as you let said Disc fly,
Up, and, as it wafts, across the sky,
Gets mistaken, for a UFO, or, a plate, of sausage & biscuits!
`````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
```````````````````````````````````````````
Please, discard the discourse, regarding discus,
As a Limerick thread, it, just, barely, missed us,
It went, over our heads,
Made me wet the bed;
So, I've fled, to "The Head", with some Triskets!
```````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
COUNT DRACULA arose, one moonlit night,
From his Crypt, filled, with unsettling fright;
"My victims' blood,
Of late, tastes, like mud,
I must, now, use mouthwash, after every bite."
`````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Door open wide in dead of night,
Undead in refrigerator light.
"Before I leave
must Heinz retrieve,
I like some ketchup vare I bite!"
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
````````````````````````````````````
I dearly love my Brother, PAUL, aka, PACKY,
He, with MEEK, began this thread, so tacky,
His input is vital,
His Limericks ignite all,
Fanning the Flames, of Creativity, by Cracky!
````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
No, Tim it is you that inspired -
when my limerick muscle got tired.
But in your praise I'm baskin
So in case you were askin,
When I need a press agent - you're hired!
Dear Brother, PAUL:
```````````````````````````````````````````````````
For your kind Compliments, I thank you, PACKY,
Also, for the job lead; it'll keep me, "on TRACK"-Y,
It might create a Societal "Dent",
Like, SUPERMAN and CLARK KENT,
Raising Public Awareness, that, we, both, are, quite, WACKY!
```````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
A "GRIM" REMINDER...
-------------------------
RENFIELD was his VAMPIRE MASTER'S "Keeper",
Kept DRAC, safe, by day; worked, much cheaper,
Than most; content, with FLIES,
Boiled, in oil, they became "DWIGHT'S FRYES" {FRIES ;)};
Lost his job, when DRAC introduced him, to "THE REAPER"!
```````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I've been busy of late, but I see that my friend Tim has been up to the gate, so I hope that I'm not to late., for me to share in his lonesome fate. I have to confess that I do enjoy my friends limericks, heres to many more puns both good and bad in the years to come.
The Count when he got staked felt a pain that was sore,
It's always the way if one was to keep score,
The vampires may come in all shapes and sizes so its all of them that I adore,
I've even thought that the Count may even snore,
I do believe that its all the bloodletting and fear I like and not the overt gore.
WELCOME HOME, BROTHER MAURICE! Ye ha'e been missed!
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Cresting, upon us, very soon, our National Day, of THANKS-GIVING,
When we Bless, all, of our Dear Dead, &, Pray, for our Beloved Living;
Pledge, as Time runs its course,
To live, in LOVE, &, not, remorse,
For LIFE is a FEAST, of MIRACLE; Proof, of LOVE'S Constant Believing!
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I cannot stand the hunters' guns
When they go off, I have to run
But my movements are jerky
I am just a turkey
So I'll probably wind up well done.
How many hunters can you fit in a ship,
I don't know so keep quiet or I'll give you a fat lip,
Knowing our werewolf Ivan he'll soon give them the slip,
If he should see one then its a quick hop and a skip,
but if he's to slow then it will be more than his lid that will be flipped.
There once was a ship in the Persian Gulf
that had among its crew a werewolf
To avoid getting thinner
it had Thanksgiving dinner
because hunting Marines is too tough
UNCLE FORRY has reached 92 years, young, today,
For his continued Health, we do, earnestly, pray,
He'll go, when he must,
Yet, in GOD, we trust,
That, until that Call comes, he'll happily stay!
````````````````````````````````````````
... Because, he knows he is LOVED, by so many MONSTER KIDS!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I will join the Baron in wishing forry all the very best on his 92 birthday, long live the King.
Over the years we have listened to his puns,
But fear not there are more to follow,
So to Forry we give a salute of 21 guns,
Because he has reared us with monsters what a jolly good fellow.
This Yearly Event forces Turkeys, to live, in Mortal Dread;
The Fowl-est, of Reasons, to cry:"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!"
A Champion, they, direly, need,
To prevent this "Annual Bleed";
Mayhap I shall become Vegetarian, upon arising, from FEASTING... & BED!
-----------------------------------------------
... HAPPY EAT-&-SLEEP DAY, UMA!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I may not celebrate thanksgiving but why miss the fun,
What I have learnt thoughout the years never miss a pun,
So if you agree I know a turkey when I see one,
And over the years I've seen some by the ton.
Happy thanksgiving to all my friends on the UMA forum.
THE CLASSIC MONSTERS were The First, of their Cinematic Breed,
To fascinate & beguile us, in our Love, of the SILVER SCREEN!
Although, "Fashions" move, on,
How can we, ever, go, wrong,
Choosing BORIS, BELA, and LON, in our time, of "MONSTER-FIX" Need!
````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
~~~ A MONSTROUS BIT O' CHRISTMAS CHEER ~~~
---------------------------------------------------------
Photos, I've seen: BORIS & BELA, as SANTA CLAUS,
Career choices, quite, odd, yet, they broke no Laws;
LON, SR, too, along, with our BELA,
Were photographed, as That ONE FELLA,
JESUS CHRIST, Who, by His Suffering, Atoned, for our flaws.
----------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Lon Sr. and Bela as Messiah,
Their eyes turned up to the sky-ah.
What we need is a chorus,
Creighton, Glenn, and Boris,
as Angels We Have Heard on High-ah!
------------------------------------
Perry, Timmy's Friennn-dd!
From the top Christmas star, to the last holly berry,
Season's greetings to you, actor Perry!
With monsters galore
Rushing in every door--
Hope your holiday's happily scary!
Another of the Baron's friends has come to stay, so I bid you welcome friend Perry come what may.
In this season of good cheer,
You'll find good companionship most dear,
For even the monsters need a holiday or two,
Because Halloween is over and now Christmas must do,
So beware thy bane on the frosty lane ,
And eat drink and be merry for some weight to gain.
~~~ WELCOME, BROTHER PERRY ~~~
------------------------------------------------------
I'm Blessed, that, our dear Brother, PERRY SHIELDS,
Took my invite, to incite our current Limerick yields,
Another fine member, of our FANG-MILY,
Not, just some nut, fallen, from the Tree,
Easily found, in L.A., or, mayhap, STRAWBERRY FIELDS!
------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
~~~ THE PLOT COAGULATES... er, THICKENS! ~~~
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
In THE HOUSE OF DRACULA, THE WOLF MAN is cured,
Thanks, to DR.EDLEMANN, who's reality is blurred,
By COUNT DRACULA'S plot, so evil,
That our good Doc, in murder, does revel,
Until TALBOT spills the Doc's blood, which was, with DRAC'S, Transferred!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
We all know of the evil count Zaroff and his arrows from his quiver,
But did you know that he was not a bad sort for he fed his hounds on human liver,
Not to be outdone he provided his victims with a knife,
What he did not count on was McCrea finding a wife,
Leaving Zaroff dead and for us to go out with a shiver.
*****************************************************
'Tis said that this life is, merely, a Dress Rehearsal;
That, in death, lives New Birth - a true Role Reversal;
So, with UNCLE FORRY,
A Never-Ending Story,
Now, Living, he is, Beyond, the concept & name, of: "UNIVERSAL"!
*****************************************************
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
That one was great, Tim.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
Thanks, BROTHER IVAN; I'm Blessed, by your kind approval,
As we Honour UNCLE FORRY, in a way, that, behooves, all,
Via his word-play, of PUN,
To share witty Limerick fun,
As our Dearly Departed would laugh, &, say: "Aha! Business, as usual!"
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
DR. FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER, helplessly, wept,
At Love, revealed, and, not, hidden, kept;
He learned, that, its cost,
Might lead, to the Cross,
Yet, let his Creator live, even, as he accepted his loss.
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Henry Frankenstein connected the electrodes high above the tower,
To see if he could find the secrets to life and death,
But all he brought forth was a creature of tremendous power,
With the horror realized by this monstrosity and its first breath,
Even a little child like Maria was not safe and their encounter turned sour.
Unfettered he be, the Monster is still but a child.
When spurned by his father of course he went wild
His rampage was a hassle
But none learned at the castle
That the Monster was best when not riled.
Dear ROCK 'N' ROLL UMA FANG-MILY,
... *Sigh* 28 years, later.....
:'( ****************************************** :'(
Another Fallen Friend/Hero, of, now, long, ago,
Today, an Remembrance, of a Loved One, we know,
"And, so, this is CHRISTMAS",
But, without you, not, the same,
GOD Rest you, JOHN LENNON, for helping us grow.
:'( ****************************************** :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
In Memory of Uncle Forry...
**********************************
The Ackermonster has left us now,
Let us all at once take a vow,
That his memory will live,
As we continue to give
New Monsterkids his sense of "wow."
**********************************
From your "nephew," Perry Shields
I'm still bummed; you know the reason
A pall has befallen this Yuletide season
Uncle Forry is gone
And I've yet to move on
But I can't quit the Army; that'd be treason!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
IVAN!... STILL BUMMED?! BROTHER, GIT OFFA YER ARSE, >:(
UNCLE FORRY wouldn't want you, to keep your Soul sparse, :(
HEAVEN, on Earth; JOY, ;D
For, all, to see, Boy! 8) 8) 8)
He's tossed THE MONSTER TORCH, to you, so, take it... &, MARCH! :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ********************************************** ;D
There, once, was a Merrie Season, called CHRISTMAS,
When BORIS recorded THE GRINCH'S Crass Business;
His Competition, many;
He, still, won the EMMY,
He's the PERFECT STAR, in our Hearts; PRESENT & PAST!
;D *********************************************** ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:'( * R.I.P., BETTIE PAGE * :'(
--------------------------------------------------------
There, once, was a HOTTIE, named BETTIE PAGE,
Her "Come hither" Pictures, for years, "All The Rage",
Sorrows, she went, through, so much,
Aged; with her past glories, lost touch,
Yet, she found GOD, and, now, He's turned her page.
---------------------------------------------------------
:) REST, IN BLESSED PEACE, LIGHT & LOVE DIVINE. :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````
ARMAND TESLA had lost his soul, two hundred years, ago,
As a VAMPIRE, attained powers, which no human could know,
Turning the hapless ANDREAS,
Into his WEREWOLF Servant;
His evil, finally, blighted, reduced TESLA, to a putrescent pile, of GOO!
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;) ------------------------------------------------------- ;)
We, WEREWOLVES, are, by nature, quite, modest & shy,
I've been one, for years; please, don't ask me, why,
We're, quite, prim & proper,
Even, when dining, on "a Copper",
If you think this, truth, then, you've swallowed a lie!
;) ------------------------------------------------------- ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The Baron might like telling fibs
But most werewolves aren't nearly so glib.
Larry and Wally and I
Hate that so many must die.
Tim, ~burp~ can you pass me a rib?
The Baron fibs
werewolves aren't so glib.
Larry, Wally & I
Hate so many must die.
Tim, ~burp~ you pass a rib?
--------------------------------------------------------------
{ IVAN - ~BURP~, indeed, Young WEREWOLF!
Why, I've passed a whole lot, more, than just a RIB! ;)
Care, for an Acid-washed Rib-cage? }
--------------------------------------------------------------
BR'ER IVAN, YES! But, only, if you wear a BIB!
And, join me, as I sing, like, BARRY GIBB!
Falsetto BEE-GEES Howls,
Amid low-note growls,
And, between courses, a swig, from my DR. PIBB!
----------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Good day to you Baron and my friend Ivan, I hope that you cleaned up after your spicy rib fest there's nothing worse than slipping on all those inners !!! Have a great time at the holidays and keep yourselves safe.
Ah the Baron likes to tickle our rib,
And live not in a castle but a quite nice crib,
Thats the truth and not some made up fib,
And I know that he has a familiar called squid,
Who likes nothing better than biting the mailman Sid.,
If you don't believe me just ask his kid.
This is HO HO HOrrible!
Buffy told Santa "Prepare!"
But the Vampires said "Not here to scare...
No need to defend you,
we're here to commend you -
we've never met a finer sleigher!"
One Carol that Wolfman repels
Christmas song makes him run for the hills.
"Ever since a young whelp, it
compels me - can't help it.
I just run when I hear SILVER Bells!"
:-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
A CHRISTMAS Theme, to our LIMERICK Treacle,
Perfumes the "scent", of our DREK-ULA fecal,
PACKY'S prose treats me right,
In MAURICE & IVAN'S, I delight,
Yet, our Plum Pudding Thruppence is LOVING FORRY & MEEK, all!
:-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Thank you Tiny Tim or I mean Baron Timothy as always it is a pleasure to read your posts, And I give you my personal hail and hearty blessing from here in the Emerald isle in this coming yuletide.
I have to agree Christmas is a time of reflection,
And the barons right to include both Meek and forry in subtraction,
So I can wish that we will have fine times again in the company we keep,
A twice told tale from Meek and a funny pun from forry gave us the fun instead of our sad weep,
That is what we will remember about them because that was their main attraction,
And we will always hold it dear with great affection.
My Dear Brother, o' Faire EIRE, MAURICE,
... And, unto Thee, young Lad, A MERRIE CHRISTMAS, and, a Most HAPPY NEW YEAR!
... Equal Salutations, for unparalleled Bliss, issued, from CASTLE Von WOLFSTEIN, unto Thee & Thine!
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
DRACULA awoke, December 24th, in his Castle crypt;
He saw RED... then, a white beard, and, nearly, flipped!
'Twas SANTA, bringing,
Stakes & Crosses; singing,
Hymns, about their respective Bosses, &, how The VAMPYR got gypped!
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
As always baron you have touched my heart, now get those grubby paws out of my chest. Have a good Christmas my friend eat drink and be merry or should that be eat the merry men? I'm not sure either way enjoy the hunt.
Oh for the pursuit of my youth Miss Bettie Page,
What a wonderful gal she was and all the rage,
I know that some members may not have much to gauge,
But she such was a lovey woman for the eyes to engage,
take my word for it as I'm wise and known as something of a sage,
She will always be remembered even into some future age.
Majel has passed; reuinited with Gene
Heaven's become the biggest sci-fi fandom scene
Her voice went where no man went before
Now the crew members will here it no more
But their legacies remain, the next gen will soon be seen
Dear UMA FANG-MIY,
... A bitter-sweet Blessing, MAJEL'S Demise; freed, of her earthly suffering; re-united, with GENE!
... GOD'S Peace & Love, Keep Them, EVERNOW!
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
Amongst my Relics, which I most Treasure:
GENE & Me {in all my SPOCK Splendour},
Photos, from a more innocent time,
A Gift, unexpected, and, most sublime,
EVERNOW, the Joy, of Remembered Pleasure!
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
*** THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF ***
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The hideous madness begins, with the full moon's rise,
The terror, beyond words, which he's grown, to despise,
His teeth transform, into fangs,
His mouth elongates, into jaws,
Bestial heart, afire, with blood-lust, tunes, out, the innocent cries!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
RESERVED, FOR NEXT LIMERICK!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The moonless sky glows with the star's light
and gives Vasaria's monsters pause, in mid-fight
Larry, the Monster, and Drac
call a truce to their three-fold attack
to join carolers singing Silent Night
SCARY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW FEAR!
:) *** :D *** ;D *** :D *** :)
Whilst TERRY offers a SURLY beer,
We, all, get high, on YULETIDE Cheer,
In CHRISTMAS, bask,
Ere we begin our task,
Haunted, by The Ghost, of This NEW YEAR!
:) *** :D *** ;D *** :D *** :)
A MERRIE CHRISTMAS; HAPPIEST, of HOLIDAYS & A BLESSED NEW YEAR, To ALL!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
DEAR UMA FANG-MILY,
... Ahhhh, A.D. 2009 Soon Approacheth! :o
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
"Out, with the Olde, and, in, with the New",
Quoth THE MUMMY, quaffing TANA LEAF brew,
"ANANKA'S a withered PRUNE!"
"ELVIRA! Va-Va-Va-VA-VOOM!"
KHARIS' choice; a MUMMY-LOVER, with a Talent, or, TWO!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
*************************************************
Comrades, Dear; 'tis, with grim determination, :o
That, I plod, on, towards a glorious destination; :-*
These fruits, labourious, :'(
O' pithy remarks, Arborious, ;)
A veritable Limerick Tree, for our FANG-MILY'S elation! ;D
*************************************************
... HAPPIEST, of HOLIDAYS & A BLESSED NEW YEAR, To ALL!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
This force is sucking at me
something that I cannot see.
though the lights are still on,
all the presents are gone -
there's a vacuum under my tree!
Dear PACKY PAUL,
... Thank you, for your charming present! &, for keeping ye Limerick Faith!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
My very Beloved UMA Brother, ST. PACKY PAUL,
A CHRISTMAS Gift sent; well done, 'tho' quite small,
DRACULA and WOLF MAN,
Hand-painted, by a True Fan,
Adds, much, to my Collection, as LOVE trumps all!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... "Fast away, the olde year passes,
Fa-la-la-la-la-la, lalala;
Save us all from toxic gases,
Fa-la-la-la-la, La, la, la, laaaahhh! ;)
````````````````````````````````````````````
*** GOD BLESS THE AULDE; GOD BLESS THE NEW! ***
{'Cos, me, like, HIM, doth LOVE, all, o' YOU!}
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
BORIS & BELA lived, now, what seems, a long time, ago,
Despite the distant years, 'tis, EVERNOW, "On with the Show",
Shouldst be no surprise,
Since, "LOVE Never Dies!"
For, They live, in our Hearts, and, still, help us, to grow!
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
At work, surrounded, yet alone
ignoring email and my phone.
from cube an aroma
my Frankenstein coma -
I'm in a New Years MONSTER ZONE
Dear Brother, PAUL & UMA FANG-MILY,
************************************************************
This instant expression, o' our Limerick profession,
PACKY PAUL'S latest input, a Monstrous connection,
Which brightens my day,
Whilst the sun shines, make hay!
Because, after dark, I must work, &, work, be Perfection!
************************************************************
Translation:
... For the next 2 days, I'm working twelve hour shifts... Mid-night, to Noon! Makes me feel, almost, VAMPIRIC!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Aaaah
The last afternoon of 08
no moment again shares it's fate.
Except my invention
of another dimension
where time is a little bit late.
Greetings to my limerick friends, the Baron Ivan Packy and Terry we all have a mission to please so lets start the new year with a smile or two.
Out with the old in with the new,
While I've been a member of this crew,
Who would know that I've made friends anew,
And that the forums fondness has all but grew,
So this coming new year I toast those brave few.
Dearest UMA FANG-MILY,
... Especially, my Stalwart Limerick Comrades, IVAN, MAURICE, PACKY PAUL, ELDER ROBERT, & GENERAL TERRY,
... May your NEW YEAR be Safe, Blessed, and Happy... even, JOYOUS, for you, and, all, of those, whom you hold dear!
... May LOVE Be Triumphant, With-IN You, EVERNOW!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Brave, we must be, to face this New Year;
Bravery abounds, as you've read, all, that's here,
Of Joy & Great Loss, week, by week,
R.I.P., BELOVEDS, FORRY & MEEK,
My Prayer, for us, Here, in Time, is LOVE, untainted, by fear!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Again, NEW YEAR'S EVE; I find it, hard, to believe, :o
That Time runs, so fast, without reprieve; :'(
AD 2008 - BLESSING, yet, GONE, :(
AD 2009; NOW, about, to Dawn, ::)
With our UMA FANG-MILY {+ BORIS, BELA & LON} A JOY, TO CONCEIVE! :-*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
There, once, was a year, which is, now, called 2009,
Most likely, in China, 'tis "THE YEAR OF THE SWINE";
So, A BABY-BACK RIB-IN,
Could win the BLUE RIBBON,
&, no doubt, EUELL GIBBONS would lose, to FRANKENSTEIN!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & ROAST SUCKLING PIG, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Beloved UMA FANG-MILY,
*******************************************************
Cresting, through this first New Year's week,
I continue, to confess, being a MONSTER KID Freak,
Here, I find a True "HOME",
To write Limerick Po'ms,
And, enjoy, how your Patience, "turns the other cheek"!
*******************************************************
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
As we welcome 2009
I think of the year left behind
When I saw the new "Death Race"
with a mask on the face
of a driver, known only as "Frankenstein".
Oh yeah, and I'm online again. Yay!
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
BR'ER IVAN; 'tis good, m'Lad, to have you back,
I'd rather have you, here, than, dear olde DRAC;
With NEW YEAR, here,
I raise, in Toast, my Beer,
Proclaiming our Friendship, with Limerick crack!
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Thanks, Baron; it feels good to return
And reflect on the past that we've learned
Universal will stall
Talbot's curtain call
till they're sure the profits will get turned
Nice work, IVAN!
... Thanks, for chiming in... I was getting lonely! :'(
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
DRACULA said, to his olde Friend, FRANK,
"I vas, here, first; made UNIVERSAL its bank;
Den, alongk you came,
Life vas nefer der same,
But, Ve started a cycle, so, you haf my Thanks!"
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Though Dracula may lay his claim
On starting Universal's monster fame,
Lon Chaney played a part
in giving the genre its start
In the Hunchback of Notre Dame
:) ************************************************** :)
Dear LON, SR.; IVAN, Thou wert, quite, "on target", &, right;
To chime, in, with that Truth, {'twas my blind over-sight},
QUASIMODO & poor MAD ERIK,
Two, of my Favourite "Freaks";
Those Silents speak, loudly, in the brightest Bright Light!
:) ************************************************** :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Here goes,
Inspiration:
Never moon a Werewolf- Hooters Hand Wipe Wrapper, 2008
Limerick:
Mooning Werewolves
Careful be at night
When there's no moon in sight
And you'd figure to drop your drawers
Heavens forbid the horrors
For the ones you mean to moon
Werewolves they be devouring you soon
from the Very Non-Irish Comic Book Poet,
Juan
Dear Brother, JUAN,
... Sage advice, Laddie, sage advice! Rump tastes better, with a sage dressing!
... And, WELCOME, to our un-howl-l-l-load crypt, o' Limerick Doo- Doo!
... Your contribution, to "the pot", is greatly appreciated!
... You da M.A.N.! ;)
... This adaptation, of your epic telling, is the lighter side, of a darker subject:
Mooning Werewolves
------------------------
Careful be, each night, when the full moon is brighter,
For, to drop your drawers, amid Werewolf blighters;
Heaving morbid unspeakable horrors,
Those lonely ones, upon the moors;
Such Werewolves might prove, to be Lovers... not, fighters!
... Join in, anytime... full moon, or, no!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & SGT. WOLFSTEIN'S LONELY WEREWOLF HEARTS CLUB BAND!
DEAR GENERAL TERRY & UMA FANG-MILY,
... WOWSERS! Exquisite re-shuffling of the various departments!
... Navigationally super-friendly! Subjects, I never knew existed, due, to my limited access time! THANKS!!!
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
THE UMA - Ahhhh! Such great, continuous BLISS! ;D
Just signing in is disarming; such a Loving Kiss! :-*
Blessedly, ever-new & ever-changing, :o
Contents, that are mind deranging, ::)
That, EVERNOW, are "Spot-On Target"; never, hit, or, miss! 8)
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Thanks Baron! I gotta get back in the saddle here at this thread and start bustin' out a few rhymes. This thread is one of my favorites.
Dearest Brother, FMOFMPLS:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aye, Gen'l TERRY; Ye gotta get, back, in ye saddle,
Here, at this thread; ne'er, more, to skeedaddle;
Start bustin' out rhymes,
Commit Limerick crimes,
Use this thread, {one, o' Thy favorites} our arses, to paddle!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
At work and bored
of this hideous hoard.
I might
just write
of back pain abhored:
The belltower of Notre Dame was shakin -
The pealing was eardrum breakin -
cuz when he hurts his back
let me tell ya Mack
That's a whole lotta achin bacon
ok back to the variance report oh goodie
Well then The Creature caught her
and took her underwater.
The Lungfish guy
thought her a fry
and had always wanted a daughter
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
The jovial return, of Br'er PACKY, is, ever, so PLEASANT,
He's no Royal Pain, nor, even, simple-minded PEASANT;
He started this ILL-lustrious THREAD,
So, if, he's, indeed, out, of his HEAD,
Why GROUSE, all, you TURKEYS, whilst we dine, on PHEASANT?!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
There, once, was a MONSTER, named GENERAL TERRY, :o
Who started an ARMY, of THE UNDEAD, and, UNBURIED, ::)
The Troops didn't stink, ;D
Yet, left dirt, in the sink, >:(
So, THE GENERAL cleans, up, our mess - Our GOOD FAIRY! :-*
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Terry's no fairy, I'd guess
Just because he eats in the General Mess
But when this place gets untidy,
he's been known to get flighty
And that's his right; he's in charge... more or less
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GEN. TERRY: "Fey", you say? Nay, 'twas, no intent, meant, to bother,
Nor, did I, mean, to imply, such, for he's among my dearest Brothers!
'Twas a compliment, meant,
Until, waaayyy South, it went,
Had my rhyme, had the time, I'd have writ: Our GOOD FAIRY GODFATHER!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I have been some what remiss of late for I've had a lot on my plate but one thing can be said I'm never late for a date.
Ah the Baron's wit knows no bounds,
For he is always up and doing the rounds,
He has to be careful for werewolves are no ones clowns,
So along through the forest he leaps and bounds free from all those nasty frows,
Then the villagers better watch out and stick to their towns.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
There is, once, more, a FRIEND, known, as TV HORROR,
He may like, to sleep; but, he, sure, ain't no SCHNORRER,
MAURICE, he is called;
Don't know, if, he's bald,
Yet, without his Presence, our Thread would be POORER!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Timmy and Terry and Packy, Maurice
I fear that one day our limmericks may cease
We've 'bout used every word
that I know or have heard
Out of rhymes, this Army may soon know peace
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
A year shall it be, Br'er IVAN, this March 17th, you see, :o
In Honour, of MEEK, we've decided, to "bide a wee"; ::)
As a Leprechawn, True, ;D
{I count you, as one, too!} ;D ;D
We might "Pull The Plug", on this Limerick thread, or, not; we'll see! :-* :'( ;)
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
What villian has plans afoot to end our pun, make my day and let him run, for spoiling our much needed fun. On aside note Baron, no I'm not bald yet but I will hit the fifty mark by the end of this month. So that means that with my two minds as one, I have a while to go yet. Also Ivan is afraid of running out of words that rhyme but as we all know they are worth every dime!
What's this I hear,
Surely you jest,
An end to our limericks I fear,
I just hope that you want to digrest,
Come St Patricks day I will shed a tear,
For our homely thread will surely die this year.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
:) ;) :D ;D 8) ::) 8) ;D :D ;) :) ;) :D ;D 8) ::)
Thou mayest rely, upon this: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAURICE;
'Though, Thy dome be spotty, may Thine hair increase,
May the mental manure, o' Thy Limerick puns,
Supercede, upon Thy noggin, ye hair, upon Thy buns;
Aided, by Thy wit, expressed, Thy scalp, with Health, quite greased!
:) ;) :D ;D 8) ::) 8) ;D :D ;) :) ;) :D ;D 8) ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I thank ye Tim in advance of my coming of age,
And I'll take into account all that you've said upon this page,
With these words coming from such a wise sage,
now I know that I'll be all the rage.
I too want to see Maurice Celebrate
The fact he's survived for so long is just great!
Though he be of two minds
The forum will be fine
As his poetry should illustrate
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Bros. IVAN & MAURICE, I am, never, disappointed,
By your contributions; they seem quite anointed,
Of MONSTER & GHOULS,
Of MADMEN & FOOLES,
'Tho' SHAKESPEARE might tell you, your WITCHES be "arointed!"
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Once again I'm delighted at my friend's the Baron and Ivan they are such a joy as I reach fifty, oh boy!!!!
I do believe that my eyebrows and ears have got hairier with age, now all I need is for my teeth to not crack when I'm in a mad rage, and skip along the streets as I like to have the odd forage.
I come on this forum for my friends to meet,
And I cannot express my joy as we all do greet,
Now getting them together is no mean feat,
With both Tim and Ivan it is always such a treat,
But I do forbid them to walk on my carpet, have you seen them shaggy feet.
Br'er IVAN & MAURICE & ALL,
```````````````````````````````````````````````````
As THE BARON, I'm noted, for my Televised GHOULERY;
When allergies stir: 'tis always "ACHOOO!", you see,
My jokes, neither, clever, nor, prime,
Obviously, spewed, in no time,
Yet, occasionally, sublime, you can call them: TIM-FOOLERY!
````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
On his age friend Maurice would not fib -
Every Birthday brings nearer a crib.
He was born in a hearse
then aged in reverse!
See?- he's already got bottle and bib!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY fellow pun and rhymester!
I am sorry I've been a bit reticent on my limericks, you see...
Though sometimes I spew automatic
others, my limericks sporadic.
Seems I may be gone bats,
all these cobwebs and slats
it's just so hard to type in the attic!
This post shall never die! Though the Good Baron Tim might suggest this post DYE itself RED! Well read, that is! Ta ta!
Beloved UMA FANG-MILY,
... Our Idiot Savant is nearing the 9000 readership mark!
... Once described, as a "train-wreck"; impossible, to avoid browsing, due, to morbid curiosity, our Thread has racked up more views, than, most, of the other threads, combined!
... Not bad, considering the brave few, who produce, most, of this folderol fodder, as they, desperately, seek, to "Get A Life!"
... There is nothing closed, nor, clique-ish, about this time-honoured Thread, just a perverse willingness, to "Have A Go At It" sufficeth!
... You vast Numbers, o' This MONSTER'S ARMY, are EVERNOW "Velcome", to post!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
BRAVO! With IVAN, MAURICE, TERRY, & our dear Brother, PACKY,
Avowed, to continue these Limerick gems, so mad, &, Oh, Soooo TACKY,
I know this Thread won't DIE,
It should be obvious, WHY:
I shall not quit, 'til, like a Pancake Festival, there's a MONSTER-SIZED STACKY!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
"NEW BLOOD!" He sighed; thus, spake olde DRAC,
"Must exhibit a peculiarly madcap Limerick KNACK,
Of MONSTERS and Such,
Topics, dear; sans Crutch,
Other, than, Humour, & Mayhap, Arty WISE-CRACK!"
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The Baron is on fine form promoting this thread,
but at it's loss I went red,
now I know that it was only a false dread,
well done Tim you deserve some cred.
Ah the good old baron has took up the gauntlet unbound,
I'll follow suit and cry havoc forsooth, hey it has a nice sound,
We'll all march on Packy Ivan Tim and Terry, our troops are on the ground,
So lets flood this thread with limericks anew or at least by the pound,
I know that dearest Meek is still in our thoughts so it's best to stick around,
Onward and upward we rhyme so it will always be where we are found.
This limerick thread
Is entertaining to many
More so than Haiku
HIKE U. + 1
----------------------
seven teen silly bulls
an ounce full in tent
cod gee lime rick
wry terse ;D
Translation:
-----------------
Seventeen syllables
Announce full intent
Codgy Limerick Writers. ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY THE INSCRUTIBLE, BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
"codgy" - 1 definition - Used when a person is acting older than they are.
WOWSERS, TROOPS!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
January, the year's first month, is, now, half-way over,
2 months & 2 days, more, 'til we're rollin', in clover,
Limerick Leprechawns:
No brains; all brawn,
To dumb, to stop; to strong, to give up, or, run, for cover!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Huge bats cavort, about this eerie, moon-lit, Wint'ry sky,
As Full Moon wanes, I hear the plaintive WEREWOLF cry,
Frigid, nasty, Arctic Blasts,
Do freeze, indeed, my sorry A$$,
Which is, why, until the gentle Spring, within my Crypt, I lie!
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named BELA,
'Though, deadly, seemed a really nice FELLA,
He'd bite, on your NECK,
But, hey! What, the HECK!
When you woke up, UNDEAD, you'd SMELLA!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
>:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :( ~~~ :'(
THE BRIDE, we, all, know, fell, hard, for HER DOC,
When SHE spied her GREEN SUITOR, SHE BALKED;
SHE emitted a "HISSSS!"
Not, a KISS :-*; Boy, was HE PISSED! >:(
HE pulled The Lever, :'( THEY 'left', together... Really, still, kind, of a SHOCK! :o
>:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
WOWSERS! :o # 495... Seems like only today we were at # 494! ;)
:) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ :) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ :)
'Twas that MAGAZINE EDITOR, 4SJ, who inspired this BLATHER,
Of marrying MONSTERS, to PUNS, like, NEWS, to DAN RATHER,
'Twas a Match, made, in HEAVEN,
More News, with Film, at ELEVEN,
My Rhyme, this time, describes Our GOOD FORRY GODFATHER!
:) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ :) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
THE FEAST OF THE EPIPHANY was January 6th... But, I'm, still, having one!
Chewing scenery, Chowing Limerick Stew & Chomping, At The Bit... 4, more!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mere FIVE more LIMERICKS, until Number 500 we REACH;
TERRY, in his Winter Wonderland, might say: "LIFE'S A BEACH"!
These messages, not, SUBLIMINAL,
Prove activity, innately CRIMINAL;
Were I PRESIDENT, o' The UMA, I could end, up, IMPEACHED!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
How we anyone Impeach you, when no peach is to be had?
The peach tree must be barren, since the baron is our lad
Though not Prez Tim does not throw fits
Because being impeached is the pits
And with Tim as a seargent we keep the UMA glad
A Scant 2, more, Limericks, and, we're half-way, to our first Thousand! Who'da Thunk it?!
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Our IVAN "chimes in", from afar, out, at Sea,
To tell me, I'm "O.K"., without a PEACH Tree!
My logic might appear fuzzy,
Like, my face, even, scuzzy,
The one, to post Number 500, wins my BVDS!
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Aha I've got post four nine nine,
It would be a sin to not give Tim the 500th rhyme,
So for his consideration shades of the twilight zone, he is lost in time,
then on to this honour our baron will be most sublime,
For I know that his puns come and sting like quick lime.
Thanks, MAURICE & ALL,
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
The courtesy extended, by which I draft Number FIVE HUNDRED
Must include MONSTERS, like, DRACULA & his Kindred UNDEAD,
For THEY are THE MEAT,
That, we love, to EAT,
Hmmm, Does that make us ZOMBIES? Try some *SWEETBREADS!
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
* It's very important that brains be fresh, so, either, cook them, or, freeze them, the day you buy them.
... I've, never, had, to BUY my brains; FRITZ, usually, picks one, up, for me, as a matter, of course, when he is, out, "running errands"...
Substitutes: Sweetbread is the thymus gland of animals.
... {ANIMALS; yeah, Riiiiggght! Think: "SOYLENT GREEN"! ;)}
It is a light meat that is firmer in texture than brains.
... I dunno, 'bout that... Brains can be made firmer, by a good Formaldehyde Marinade! I use an olde FANG-MILY Recipe!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
*******************************************************
Entering, through these Cyber-Gates, everyday,
EVERNOW, a Relief, to sign in, at our Dear UMA,
The Love, never, stops;
Your knowledge is TOPS!
Just seeing our "Guardian Sentinels" makes my DAY!
*******************************************************
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Kong-ratulations on the 500th post Baron but did you have to show off and post one more (LOL). I have to give you your due Tim you are quite the wordsmith and in your own words keep doing it EVERNOW.
Dracula was on the lookout for some vestal virgin's to bite,
But no matter where he looked there were none in sight,
High and low he would look with renfield who was none to bright,
As Sunrise approached they found their prey but they took flight,
Only the Count grabbed one and the others turned to give him a good fight,
One by one he threw them aside hitting renfield with his eyes closed tight,
We're not wearing white for purity you old fool we're kung fu artists that will end your blight.
After his fight Drac looked rather scruffy.
No virgin in weeks made him get huffy
So the next maiden he saw
he lured in with his hypnotic draw
But too late, he learned she was Buffy
:D :D :D :D Oh, MAURICE & IVAN! :D :D :D :D !!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
My Beloved Brothers,
... You are infected, with the Ecstatic Agony, of Verbal Insanity, or, the infamous "AWE, NUTS!" Syndrome... Thankfully, there is no cure!
... Oh, Darn it! That bit, of expository reasoning, hath plumbed the essential line, for my next odious Limerick Ode! Brace Thyselves, Laddies! Here goeth:
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
The "AWE, NUTS!" Syndrome hath no known CURE,
Defining "The Fine Line", between Madness and BORE,
Limericks, abound; their Fever INCITES,
Compelling compliance, in this BRAIN-BLIGHT;
The only Relief, yielded, is, that, it's, not, a CHORE!
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
In honour of the great man himself, Poe,
We would be a poorer race without those in the know,
While some of us are interested in Larry Curly and Moe,
Others are quite happy to dwell where the mystery doth blow,
Happy birthday Edgar you have centuries more to go.
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*
There, once, was a man, named EDGAR ALLAN POE,
Whose Literary works have become so many shows,
A treasured trove, of inestimable worth,
Still, beloved, 200 years, after his Birth,
GOD, grant his Soul Peace, NOW, past, his earthly woes!
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Dear FANG-MILY,
... Your Prayers & Good Thoughts, PLEASE! From 8 A.M., until 10:30 A.M.
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :-X ~~~~~~~ :'(
Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho! 'Tis, off, to the DENTIST, I GO,
He is, in Tooth & Truth, "PULLING, For Me", I KNOW,
To get another EXTRACTION,
For His wallet's SATISFACTION,
Oh, well, by the next FULL MOON, 'twill RE-GROW!
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :-X ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Hey! Everybody!
... Thanks, for your Prayers & Good Thoughts!
... Keep them coming, please, as Recovery may be painful.
... The Oral Surgeon, did an excellent job; left my LIMERICK Ability, intact!
... Or, is that, "IN TACTLESS"?! Decide, for yourselves... ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blood fills my mouth; messily, drools, down my chin,
I look, like, one, of CHRIS LEE'S DRACULA Kith & Kin,
As the Bloody YANK-EE,
My YANK-ER, I Thankee,
You've been, "down, in the mouth", moreso, than, I've been!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
To the dentist poor Timothy ran
His toothy extraction at hand...
while under sedation you'll feel no sensation
Just don't dream of "Marathon Man"
Feel better,
Mike G
Dear BROTHER, MIKE,
... Thanks, for the comforting hypnotic suggestion; er, uhm, thought!
... I could've sworn, that, the other patient, in the chair, next, to mine, was DUSTIN HOFFMAN!
... He was screaming, and, writhing, in pain, whilst I was Laughing my Gas off!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Had my tooth rotted, much more, I'd have been very ILL,
Now - Tooth, GONE, "Bye-Bye"! So, an Anti-Biotic PILL,
Is my lot, for 3 days, to TAKE,
Infection's hold, for, to BREAK;
Compared, to DUSTIN'S sufferings: Well, "You know the DRILL!" ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
For sooth our mentors lost a tooth, get well soon and watch out for that tooth fairy I hear that she can be a bit of a b###h!
The poor Baron's lost a fang,
What will we do us members of his gang,
I guess that we will just let it hang,
Although it would have been fun to be there oh dang,
So all is well and it's not for us to dwell but how he must have sang.
Dear Brother, MAURICE,
... Thanks, for your entertaining submission! With the loss, my teeth look funny, yet, my Funny Bone's intact!
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Reserved, the proper Soul, was I, of decorum & steely aplomb,
I did, not, simper, cry, or, yell, when ol' Doc yanked "The Bomb",
'Tho', the remainder shall follow suit,
O' being torn, out, by the root,
Relieved & happy, shall I be, if it doth, not, land me, in my Tomb.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
So dear Brother Tim's lost a fang,
An event which no doubt caused a pang,
But there's twenty-one more,
Or, at least I hope, four,
Lest he's now joined the "Efferdent Gang!"
***************************************
Blessings from Brother Perry, who misses his Brother Tim
;D Dear Brother, PERRY,
... Whilst attempting, to send, in, my reply, to your fine bit, o' Limerick wit, in regards, to my Tooth travail, my computer froze... &, hath remained, so, for these past couple, of days!
... Luckily, I remembered, verbatim, the Limerick, long, enough, to commit it, to paper... which I, now, unleash, upon you & the GENERAL'S Populace! ;) I miss you, too, my Brother... &, your last phone call!
;D*********************************************************;D
Our Beloved Brother, ye Effervescent PERRY SHIELDS,
Is, like, unto a FARMER; OUTSTANDING, IN HIS FIELDS,
Whether, in Service, to GOD,
Or, to MAN & MONSTERS, ODD;
His Marriage & his Offspring, KIMMYKINS, are his 2 TOP YIELDS!
;D*********************************************************;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
*****************************************************************
I'm glad, that, I can confirm this Fact: "I am Grateful and have HOPE",
Without It {and, our dear Olde UMA} I don't think, that, I could COPE,
For, Life is, oft, unfair and tough; 'tis, INDEEDY-DOO;
Almost, daily, we are tossed a handsome load, of POO!
Our Hopeful choice is best; unlike, YGOR, who merited HANGING, BY THE ROPE!
*****************************************************************
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
What a lonely place this thread has become, with the Barons computer all but undone. Come back soon, with that dulcet tone all a croon.
Both the creature and the Baron's computer have taken a dive,
Oops how can we survive,
What can we do for his computer to revive,
The creature could give him a scale to restart his hard drive,
So let us wait until we hear the Baron cry it's alive.
Still no word from Tim, so I hope that this thread was not a whim.
As the mad Dr Jekyll I do enjoy the odd nip,
But when my Hyde comes out he can cause a riot with an undue slip,
I know at times he has an eye for the ladies but then again he is quite hip,
How many times have I thought that he must get a grip,
With his lack of morals he is on a fast and loose trip,
And all I can do is let my own lid go with a loud flip.
My Beloved UMA FANG-MILY,
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
During my recent absence, due, to Arctic ice and Wintry woe,
My thanks, to Br'er MAURICE, who said: "On, with the Show!"
'Tis January's last hour,
Now, February's a-bower,
Filled, with 28 days, of Limericks, but, hopefully, no other Jobs, of Snow!
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
After his winter was weathered, the Baron rejoins the thread
Poor Maurice had started to fear that limericking was dead
Whence Brother Perry had rhymed
And Timmy in response chimed
This poetry corner is still growing... with dread!
DEAR Brothers, IVAN & MAURICE,
... Thy Grief, out-poured, over my absence, reminds me, of an Aulde Scottish Proverb:
"O', All, ye Pensive Sorrows, Horrible, and Inhumane,
Compounded, with despised, disruptive, vile, Gloom,
Ye worst, we've versed, both, terse, and, inane;
'Tis, that, TIMMY hath found his way, once, again,
From His castle's crypt... unto Ye UMA LIMERICK ROOM!" :-*
... Same bloke wot wrote that, shortly thereafter, arrived, at this epic "tag-line":
"From Ghoulies & Ghosties,
And Long-legged Beasties
And Things that Go Bump,
In the night, GOOD LORD, Deliver us!" :o
{'Tis, obviously, too late!} ;D
>:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:(
'Tis, long, been said, that: "So cheap, is talk!"
"More, is said, than done!" Ye Critics squawk!
Ye Nail's head, IVAN hath, squarely, hit,
Ye Ugly Truth, revealed, more, than a bit,
Our LIMERICK Corner doth grow DREAD... LOCKS!
>:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:(
BIG HAIRY DEAL!... As, only, a couple, of WEREWOLVES, can say it! ;)
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
THE ANNIVERSARY, NUMBER 40...
:'(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
'Twas AD 1969, on Groundhog's Day, Beloved BORIS "went away",
His weary body, spent; at 81, exhausted! What, else, can we say?
'Tho' his mortal frame is four decades, deceased,
His Fame, like, our Love, for him, has increased,
Eternal Rest, in the Peace, of LOVE DIVINE, for his sweet Soul, we Pray!
:'(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
BELOVED UMA FANG-MILY,
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
My life is better, because, of BILL PRATT {aka, BORIS},
Thanks, to a certain ACKER-MONSTER, named FORREST,
Join my song, this day;
Please, don't delay,
Let's Celebrate their Memories, in Grateful Chorus!
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
:) EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Coming in from the storm,
The sweet sent of this thread,
Draws me closer to comforts unread,
Delectable words that hydrate the soul,
Thanking you all for paper, ink, and prose.
We are all artists, I suppose,
The General accused us of writing prose
Though I know we're not pros,
I wonder if he knows
we're just waiting for him to strike a pose.
Just a technical note from an English teacher...please forgive...
Limerick rhyme scheme is A-A-B-B-A.
For example:
......nose (A)
......rose (A)
......bed (B)
......red (B)
......toes (A)
Perry
Our poetry's not that prosaic
It's more like a cerebral mosaic
Instead of standing on formality
we celebrate the monsters' reality
and if we don't always rhyme, then we fake it!
I may never post here again, as I've always had free reign. So here goes my very last go at a prose, after being told off by someone better at English I suppose.
I have been punched on the nose (A),
Now when I say nose it sounds like rose (A),
So it's off to the pale blue yonder above my flower bed (B),
To be checked over a bit of fun makes me go red (B),
But from now on our friend Perry can keep others on their toes (A).
In memory of our dear Meek:
If we follow the form anapestic,
Our poems'll sail forth most majestic!
If the rhythm's a gimp,
Then the meter will limp,
And thus threaten the roofbeams domestic!
Perry, you've nothing to fear
We all hold your input as dear
If you razz all the troops
(unlike some other groups),
we thrive; no grudges held here!
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
Once again, for days, Ice and Snow held me, back,
So, off-line, I've been wintering, at CASTLE DRAC,
The drinks, there, really fine,
Even, redder, than wine,
Now, I'm getting soused, on all your wise-cracks!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::)
Despite frigid retreats, which prevented me, from coming home,
The cockles, of my heart are warmed, now; no more, to roam;
So nice, to come, back,
And, find this huge stack;
Wild & crazy Limericks, to fertilize the mind & make the mouth foam!
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;) SOME THING TO CONSIDER... ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The whole," 'Tis said, "is equal, to its parts' sum."
Except, up, in HEAVEN, which is "Where" we hail from,
The MONSTERS, in our Strange Mix,
Add Spice, to our Surprise Tricks,
Yet, we're, all, laying bricks, For HIS Kingdom, yet, to come!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The top of the morning to you.Which you reply And the rest of the day to yourself. ;D
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
THE MONSTERS appeared, upon this Full Moon's mild eve,
Impressed, by this spate, of Dame Nature's gentle reprieve,
DRAC sucked down his Bloody Mary;
Flew, out, "for a bite", as The Others did tary;
They threw one hell, of a party, like, you wouldn't believe!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
To Perry the English teacher
We don't worry about correct grammar or spelling here
As this is a place for monsters and fear!
Keep in mind this is all for fun,So stay cool Son! ;D
No offense meant, my friends,
I came to make amends,
Just a gentle reminder,
My "please forgive" was kinder,
I thought, than a kick in the end(s)!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;)
No offense?! Our Beloved Brother, PERRY, there is, none, TAKEN;
We like you, to SPY, so, that, we're "Stirred, but, not, SHAKEN",
No need, Hoot Mon, to post BOND,
Don't BAIL, e'en, if you've YAWNED,
Our Faux Passe, with Limericks, you heart shouldn't be BREAKIN'!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
ABRAHAM LINCOLN, we do honour, today,
Our 16th President, for whose Soul, we pray,
His life was, indeed, very rough,
But, made, of "The Right Stuff",
He triumphed, in death, as in Life,
To lead the Hearts, of This Nation, along the Right Way!
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
That Annual Day, for Lovers, SAINT VALENTINE'S,
Arrives tomorrow, via CUPID, come rain, or, shine,
Seems, that, Winter's bracing cold,
Makes warm {or cold} hearts bold,
Just ask THE Unrequited GROOM, in THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
Scarce, we are, now, one scant month, away,
Our First Anniversary, on that Fabled IRISH Day,
When this Thread, begun,
Incited rafts, of MONSTER Puns,
Even, GENERAL TERRY Praises them; Therefore, TROOPS, OBEY! ;)
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
::) ******************************************************* ::)
With 10,000+ Readers, of our acclaimed UMA IRISH STEW,
I'd say, that, most, people love them... well, mayhap, a few;
For, Our MONSTERS get Named,
Whilst we, writers, get Blamed,
As a WEREWOLF, untamed, I've got miles, of smiles, left, to accrue!
::) ******************************************************* ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, from ROMANIA,
Who, rather, than look atcha would DRAIN YA;
Leaving his coffin, one night,
Found the Sun was, still, Bright;
As he turned, to dust, he hummed MALAGUENA!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I've been absent a while, but not to malinger
At work my poor digit got injured
Though still possessed of the other nine
To date I'd been typing just fine
By hunting and pecking with just the one finger
:-* ***************************************************** :-*
Our own CRAZY IVAN returneth, to give us the finger,
O' Tidings, sad, or, mad, he is our water-logged bringer,
His sore digital digit,
Proves him no idiot,
For, in his new style, of typing, he is my dead ringer!
:-* ***************************************************** :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
;) ************************************************* ;)
Winter treks, in ferocious Februarial gloom,
So much ice and snow, outside my room,
4 days, tucked, away,
From Cyber-space,
Again, "I'm Baaaccckkkk!": Your LIMERICK LOON!
;) ************************************************* ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Limerick Loonies we are, it's for sure
Who can resist the Baron's lyrical lure?
We keep on returning
You'd think we'd be learning
But it just might be a lunatic we're looking for
THANKS IVAN, for chimin' in!
;D ****************************************************** ;D
Our dear olde Friend, Singer and Musician, BILLY JOEL,
To whom IVAN refers {not, Actor, PATRIC KNOWLES},
"May be a Lunatic", like, LON, JR,
In FMTWM, wherein, he's a Loner,
Yet, MR. ZEVON'S "WEREWOLVES" hath much better HOWLS!
;D ****************************************************** ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
... ANY WEEK, NOW ;)
;D ***************************************************** ;D
In IRELAND, 'tis a GRAND HOLIDAY,
ST. PADDY'S, when folks are so GAY,
They dress, all, in GREEN,
From their hat, to their SPLEEN,
But, too much GREEN BEER comes, out, GRAY!
;D ***************************************************** ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The beer may be green but gray it comes out
That's not too much of a reason to shout.
All the drinks in the movies
look gray, which is groovy,
Since the classics are what we're all about!
>:( ************************************************** :'(
"MARCH!" He said. "Git yer lazy arse, out o' that bed!"
"Winter is, soon, fleeting, even, if, you're UNDEAD!"
But, I don't know, what, to wear;
I'm as mad, as a MARCH HARE,
So, I'll throw, on this LIMERICK, to fill you, with DREAD!
;) ************************************************** ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
While you're shouting "March!", "Madness!" says I
If you wear only limericks you surely will die!
With the chill in the air,
you'd be nearly bare
And our poetry corner will run dry.
;D ************************************************************ ;D
No word, from Br'er MAURICE, despite our tongues, a'waggin',
From Ye EMERALD ISLE, his noble contributions are laggin',
That Laddie, a "foine broth",
Seems encumbered, in sloth,
Or, mayhap, THE SAINTS took him away, in THE ST. PADDY'S-WAGON!
;D ************************************************************ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
WALPURGISNACHT vill be here, before you know it,
Evil forces roam, unleashed, &, they vant, to show it!
The MONSTERS, underneath my bed,
Nightly, discuss their plans, of dread,
Until sleep-deprived, I scream, instead: "Ah, STOW IT!"
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
... If I am, to look my very "BEAST"... er, "BEST", for CASTLE DRACULA'S All-Nacht Par-Tee, then, I MUST get my "Beauty Sleep!" ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Cough cough cough, I'm getting a fur ball with all these werewolves keeping the thread alive. How are you both doing my two best wolfy pals, fine I hope.
Posting on here near St Patrick's day has been a hoot,
And not one silver bullit have I had to shoot,
Instead I'm aiming for a target near home,
By going out into my garden and painting green on my pet gnome,
Now if you excuse me I'm having my arm torn out by the root.
and I'm coming up for a gulp of air and belch out a limerick, please excuse the brazen stereotype,
I just a Czech
wadja expec?
Frankie O'stein got drunk daily
til he met up with Officer Bailey
"Though your skin may be green
soon it's stars you'll be see'n!"
then laid him out with his Shillelagh
:o ``` :D ~~~ ;D *** ;) !!! ::) ... :-*
'Tis a Monstrous Limerick creation, a foine Oirish Stew,
Cobbled, together, with boiled cabbage & flat Ale brew,
Ye've done it, again,
By usin' yer brains,
Ye Proof's, in ye Puddin', jus' loike ye aulde Oirish do!
:o ``` :D ~~~ ;D *** ;) !!! ::) ... :-*
... Ye Blarney-Stoned Limerick Leprechawns! Ye do a thread proud, with yer effortless out-pourings! Jamie Joyce, The Man, Himself, could'na done nae better! Happy, was I, to see, that, ye, still, have it, in ya... or, did, 'til ya barfed it, all, up, on our Cyber-sidewalk! Careful, Laddies, not, to step, in it!
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
Watch out, Maurice, lest your arm be unrooted
A Lawn Gnome can be vicious when wounded
Painting one green
seems rather mean
Since Leprechauns, unlike Gnomes, aren't that fundic.
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::)
BEWARE{WOLVES}, o' THE IDES, O' MARCH,
Strengthen yer HIRSUITES, with extra Starch,
& "all that rot, pip-pip!" "Stiff Upper Lip";
As Werewolf snouts always look so hip,
Drink a River o' Blood, yet, still, feel parched!
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW, 8)
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
An Irishman's throat can be parch,
but he'll quench it for good every March.
soak potatoes in gin,
and then eat the skin
so beware the HIDES OF STARCH!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
This Limerick recognizes the humble Potato, that Irish staple,
Which tastes, most eloquent, slathered, in Sugar o' Maple.
Our tongues exult, in sweet, upon sweet,
Energizes us, right down, to our dancing feet!
Legendary, of Olde; records, unearthed, in tombs, of Constantinople!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW, ;)
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
On St Paddy's Day the Mummy starts reaking
when the green beer gets his facial features tweaking
The barkeep cuts him off
But Kharis just scoffs
Till he looks down, and sees his wrap is now leaking
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p99rf63jCE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p99rf63jCE)
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
Mad, as March Hares, we, all, are, we, UMA Poets,
Providing Limerick weirdness, to all, and, we know it!
So, E. A. POE is RAVEN MAD,
A. E. NEWMAN'S smile is, quite, glad,
With THE GENERAL, &, IVAN, &, PACKY, to help, to bestow it!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW, ;)
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
The day o St Paddy draws nearer,
and our limericks grow ever dearer.
I thought I was Irish
but I must be Vampirish,
cuz I can't see myself in my mirror!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
I have, to agree, with PACKY PAUL, about that VAMPIRE part,
When I last saw him, I removed the stake, from his heart,
Youthful flesh returned, to his bones,
As did his clothes {or, their clones},
But, when he tried, to bite my neck, it gave me, quite, a start! ***
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
{*** So, I returned the stake, to its previous location!}
EXANIMO EVERNOW, ::)
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
;D ******************************************************** ;D
THE SHAMROCK & ROLL
--------------------------
'Tis one short week, away; a mere seven swift-passing days,
When ST. PADDY'S-DAY MONSTER Limericks are, again, "all the craze",
Don't bother, to raise my ire, or, call me a liar,
Instead, grab a torch, to "fight fire, with fire",
Submit your own MONSTER Limericks, to keep this thread ablaze!
;D ******************************************************** ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
When I crossed the Atlantic in my tub
I stopped in Spain, at a real Irish Pub
But it's not for St Pat
that I stay where I'm at;
I can't get the Spanish bartenders dubbed
Poor Ivan stepped into an Irish spaghetti,
Has he not heard of a creature called Frankenghetti,
He has a flat top head and is the fastest draw on the plain,
Being Spain the rain was mainly on it but his mood is so flighty,
And as Ivan stepped forward he proved who was the more mighty.
Friend Maurice is returned, right as rain
That monster did have a flat-top mane
but winning was not my fate
instead we fought a stalemate
Because we both share an idiot's brain
*~~~~~~~~~~ :D~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D~~~~~~~~~~ :-*~~~~~~~~~*
MAURICE, again, is in "Two minds, today",
Sort, of a double-blind study, in Galway,
Double-talk, both, in Brogue,
Never, goes, out, o' vogue,
"Croí Cultúrtha na hÉireann"*, as they say!
*~~~~~~~~~~ :D~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D~~~~~~~~~~ :-*~~~~~~~~~*
*Ireland's Cultural Heart
EXANIMO EVERNOW, ;)
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
;D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
TV HORROR, a.k.a., MAURICE, lives, in "The Land o' The Shamrock",
'Twas amongst me Ancestral Homes, too; so, I'd be loathe, to mock,
Whereas, TV Dinosaur, BARNEY,
Fills me head full, o' Blarney,
Yet, filled, the most, is our Host, Gen'l. TERRY, who's dressed, oft, for GLAM ROCK!
;D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
Our plan has been simple,
We sent a seed from Erins green land cute as a dimple,
Baby Timothy was his name converting the States to green was his game,
He was told to infiltrate the horror conventions without a ripple,
But like most plans it failed because he discoverd he was fond of a tipple.
:P ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :P
We never whine about the weather, nor, do we fear it,
When an icy blast strikes, we just grin and bear it,
We, merely, triple our tipple,
Which shocks Mr. Whipple,
With wines, like, Thunderbird & Ripple, or, else, we just Gin & Beer it!
:P ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :P
EXANIMO EVERNOW, ::)
TIMMY & THE BARON & GREEN BEER, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
While I was in Spain, I ~DID~ gin and beer it
What was I to do? All were in such good spirits
On Paddy's Day I still won't be home
But I'll think fondly of Maurice's Lepre-Gnome
then I'll find me some green... and then wear it!
My Beloved WEREWOLF Brother, IVAN,
;D *********************************************************** ;D
If, in the Navy, you wear Green; why, you've "gone barmy"!
I cannot stress, enough: "Fatigues are worn, by the Army!"
UMA Troops, to the rescue;
We'll coat you, in fescue!
Then, Green, you'll be, on ST. PADDY'S, so, GOD Bless you!
;D *********************************************************** ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & GREEN BEER, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
With this revered Irish holiday loomin'
Tim's lim'ricking fingers are zoomin'
His poetry sure makes me smile,
But I'd rather visit the Emerald Isle
I can't help it; to Erin is Human
;D :D;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D
CRAZY IVAN is a MASTER WIT; conveyed, by what he writ: "to Erin is Human" - ?!
Ooohhh! Wish I'd written that, but, "To HERRON is {to be an Idiot,} Bloomin'"!
Of you, UNCLE FORRY must be proud,
When I read that line, I laughed, aloud,
And, I look, forward, to more, o' the same, apun the Limerick horizon, loomin'!
;D :D;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & GREEN BEER, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
Thank you Tim for your complementary verbosity
I'd like to return the favor.
But it turns out I'm composing the wrong type of poetry
So I must request a waiver.
;) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;)
'Tis March 15th; only 2 days, to go - this thread is all a'fever,
An Anniversary, Our 1st, you know, sells lots, of pain reliever,
Still, devoutly, read,
By Troops, inbred,
Driven, MAD, by Limerick Blarney; I know, for, *I'm a Believer!
;) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;)
... *Had to throw, in a nod, to THE MONKEES' English component - DAVY JONES!
EXANIMO EVERNOW, ;D
TIMMY & THE BARON & GREEN BEER, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
;D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
I came, today, to say, that, we're mere hours, away,
From Anniversary # 1, o' Limerick ST. PADDY'S DAY,
A muddled rhyme, o' Irish Stew,
Best consumed, with Guinness Brew,
For a Funny-Bone Hang-Over; the price, which we must pay!
;D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & GREEN BEER, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
Luck O' the Irish, it's Saint Patrick's Day, at least out in the Atlantic
Our crew's doing fine, but we're still pressed for time, and some of us are getting frantic
I feel lucky for this thread; thank you Meek
For a year it's been clear; we're all freaks
With all our rhymies to prove we aren't Limeys; we're obsessed with these limmerick antics
Happy Saint Patricks day to my friends afar, lets hope that we meet soon to join in a jar. All the best both Tim and Ivan for I know that Tim is on land and Ivan is our jolly Jack Tar.
The big day has arrived and I'm covered in emerald green,
Sure as I walk in the parade I'm a sight to be seen,
On Saint Patrick's day the World joins in honourary Irish come all,
The drink may flow until twilights last gleam,
With the day over here's to another years sweet dream.
To the Universal Monsters that all dwell within us,
From the biggest on down to the thinnest,
A TOAST, I must say,
On this Saint Patrick's Day,
With an imperial pint of Guinness!
Mark "Madman Mahoney" Stamper
Faith and be gory! I almost let'er slip by - gettin ready to leave this job and head to band rehearsal, here's an in betweener:
Dr Franky O'Stein was no saint,
made living from bodies that ain't.
But to honor St Pat
dipped the chap in a vat
and coated him with Kelly Green PAINT!
For three more Irish Limerix see go back to the very first post in this thread ! Happy Day to you Paddies from Paul "Czech please" Koloc
Dear UMA FANG-MILY,
... On behalf, o' all our contributing POETS {and, I use this word, in the kindest, and, most prolific, of exaggerations} , I offers Ye, all, this WORD O' WARNIN':
---------------------------------------------------
YOU KEEP READIN', AND, WE'LL KEEP WRITIN'!
---------------------------------------------------
... HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, AD 2009, B.G.G., and, GOD Bless You, MEEK!
:o "ERIN, GO BRA-LESS!" ... XENA, TOO! ;)
;D ********************************************************** ;D
Me workday, again, is done; too, the settin' o' ST. PADDY'S sun,
Like DRACULA, now, I Bloody Suck... at makin' Limerick Puns!
PRIMATES & GENERALS post, on This Thread,
Yet, the Rank & File are the UMA's local UNDEAD,
Like, PACKY, IVAN, MAURICE & Moi, who, daily, stick, to our guns!
;D ********************************************************** ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
ST. TIMMY O'BARON & GREEN BEER, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
It's hard to follow Tim's act
So I may have to throw out my tact
There's just no other way
on this St Paddy's Day
if we're to keep our limmerick thread intact.
Ivan O'Shaunnaski
Shackles abound with the Barons alter ego, The dreaded Tim is no mere mortal. His demands are legendary he wants us to make whoopee on this thread, but what more can we do to satisfy this human beast. I feel a pity for the poor misunderstood werewolf who has to share this thing of unspeakable evil.
One day they are going to make us a Baron collectible,
I for one will gladly display it for it will be delicable,
Through all Tim's faults he is not a bad fellow,
But get on the wrong side and he will bellow,
So I ask the UMA members to make the Baron more formidable.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
LARRY TALBOT treated the Singer, rather, like, a swine,
Displeased, as he was, with THE SONG OF NEW WINE.
Incensed, by the Toast, of "Living, forever",
He wanted, to die; unleashed, from Life's tether,
Freed, from his Curse, with the Help, of DR. FRANKENSTEIN!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW, ;D
TIMMY & THE BARON & CLASSIC MONSTERS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
"Mister Taylor" did cry out in protest
When long life was promised, in jest
But when flooded with water
Herr Frankenstein's daughter
Saw that Larry could finally get some rest
:o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
Olde IM-HO-TEP could exercise stange occult powers,
To win HELEN GROSVENOR'S Love, without flowers,
FRANK WHEMPLE was a dandy,
Who'd have plied her, with Candy;
THE MUMMY'S Doom came, in mere seconds, not, hours!
:o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW, ::)
TIMMY & THE BARON & CLASSIC MONSTERS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
My Beloved UMA FANG-MILY,
::)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::)
I write Limericks, "to hold down the Fort",
Until, our noble UMA Troops issue a retort,
Yet, sometimes, my rhymings,
Filled, with odd meters & timings,
Prove my brain "a day, late, &, a dollar, short"!
::)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
No worries, Tim; your rhyming and verse
Is always welcome here, for better or worse
Though your visage is scary
and your palms may be hairy
I'm glad you share with us your curse
... of writing limericks, of course!
;D ... Thanks, Br'er IVAN, for that final note, of Clarification!
... Even Non-WEREWOLVES can be afflicted, with... :o
Well, you know ;)... Don't say, we didn't warn you! ::)
... I think IVAN has been ship-board, too long... and, his mind is a-wanderin'!
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-X
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
Oh these two werewolves are doing my head in,
If they keep on posting I'll soon be in the loony-bin,
Daily now I struggle with my evil side,
But because of my practise I can't afford to slide,
My good side wants to relax while my evil side keeps slippin.
Message from Mr Tv Horror:
PLEASE IGNORE THE ABOVE RANT, HE'S A GOODY TWO SHOES WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE WANTS. AS MY FRIEND THE BARON SAYS POSTINGS ARE GOOOOOOD!
>:( ================================================>:(
Another strangely conflicted note, from that Irish Fella,
About his split-personality, and, how one don't smella,
You see, if one stubs his toe,
The other avenges POE,
They're, both, RAVEN Mad, in Honour, of BORIS and BELA!
;) {And, that's, all, I'm gonna tell ya!} ;)
>:( ================================================>:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-X
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G
raycastile writ:
My brother is a cop and my dad is a retired cop.
I have a cousin who is a cop.
So it is a wonder I didn't become a cop.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Brother RAYMOND,
... Oh, NOOOOO! I FEEL A LIMERICK COMING ON!
Please, observe:
:o ~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;)
I would, rather, cop a feel, than, feel a a cop,
I'd rather cop a plea, than, say: "Please, stop!",
These voices in my head,
Are COFFIN RAY'S Undead,
And, when the going gets tough, the Undead go, out, and, SHOP!
:o ~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;)
... But, more, about Moi, later!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
~~~ POST'S CRYPT ~~~
Mi apologetto, if'n ya'll read this before... but, it belongs, here, too, being a Limerick!
In the interest, of Art, I changed the last line... :-*
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
We "sprung* forward", just, one week, ago,
Wish Mother Nature would stop the snow,
As blossoms uncurl,
I cry, like, a girl,
To see them, all, frozen; a heart-breaking blow.
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
*Springed? Sprang?
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The Baron must be on a roll
He even writes poems about snow
His lyrical leisures
Must give the rest of us seizures
And that why he's stealing the show
;D ****************************************************** ;D
AHHH, SHOW BIZ...
----------------------
If, I'm "on a roll", then, I shan't throw, in the TOWEL,
IVAN butters me up, like, my Limericks are "WOW!"
"Stealing the show", by penning these lines,
Is, like, the Grave Situation, of DR. FRANKENSTEIN,
"*That special feeling, when you are stealing that extra" BOWEL!
;D ****************************************************** ;D
* i.e., "Nowhere do you get..." Thank you, ETHEL MERMAN! { Get it?! ;) }
IRVING, "Ich been ein BERLINER!"
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
A tip of my hat to the Baron
For writing so much without swearin'
He may not be keen
If it's 'sprung', sprang' or 'spring'
But at this point I'm not really carin'!
Mike C.
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
Your generous response, MIKE C., is appreciated, and, duly NOTED! ;D
Why, to bravely post a Limerick, here, is, just, like, having VOTED. ;)
You SPRANG, into decisive Action, ::)
Which SPRUNG, from Satisfaction, 8)
With SPRING, the Main Attraction, like, a 'GATOR, in the Bayou, that, has, by you, FLOATED! :o
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:D ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ :D
With Spring's return, UMA fields bloom, to adorn,
With endless rows, their crops, of demented corn,
Limerick puns keep a-popping;
MONSTER Madness: Whopping!
Ripening, with each, new, morsel, this thread, never, to adjourn!
:D ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ :D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The Baron has spoken Mike C is officially floated,
Mike's limericks are here to be corroded,
With Spring on the air,
We here on the forum don't care,
For Mike has posted and our pride has made him bloated.
I don't get all this talk of Spring, Out here it's still quite chilly
To speak thusly while shivering, I'd go running willy-nilly
Though I'll soon no longer be afloat
I know that I'll be needing a coat
When departing my boat with my clothing in tote all these words that I've wrote will seem silly
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
When Spring turns, into Summer, for CRAZY IVAN,
He'll be doing, far, more, than, merely, survivin',
His time, afloat, done,
No more, "BOAT FUN"
Our WEREWOLF Son-Of-A Gun, will be THRIVIN'!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;) ************************************************************** ;)
The Scene: a BAR, with olde Friends, FRANKIE, DRAC, and, LARRY, ;D
Out, for an evening's festivities, to, simply, relax, and, tarry, :)
FRANKIE stole the scene, ::)
In his Shades, of GREEN; 8)
DRAC flew the coop, as The Full Moon rose: Things got REALLY HAIRY! :o
;) ************************************************************** ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
Try, as he might, THE INVISIBLE MAN found, that, he couldn't tan;
The Sunbeams, just, passed, through him, like, wind, through a fan,
His impressive physique,
Would be pale and bleak,
So, he tried a fake tanning lotion, but, it sweat, off, when he ran.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
COUNT DRACULA gave RENFIELD'S neck a TWEAK,
Which rendered him, unable, to breathe, or, SPEAK,
He'd botched DRAC'S vile PLAN,
With MINA, firmly, in HAND,
He died, as he fell, down CARFAX' steps, with, nary, a SQUEAK!
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Erik was commonly known as the Opera Ghost
A fan of the arts, he truly loved Christina the most
To perfect her voice he trained her
but when she got scared he restrained her
And in the end the Phantom, like his love, got burnt like toast
:o ************************************************************ :o
KHARIS shambled, about, following orders, on one good leg,
To fulfill the wrath, of OSIRIS, when His Priests would beg,
TANA Leaves, nine; steeped, at Full moon, as Tea,
Was, all, it took, to set THE MUMMY PRINCE, free,
That, he failed, so, often, proved, to be, upon his wrinkled face, an egg!
:o ************************************************************ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
We're, now, broken TWELVE THOUSAND Readers, on this Limerick thread,
Proving, that, the UMA Troops, are CRAZY{like, IVAN}, as well as UNDEAD!
Today; we've infected This MONSTERS' ARMY,
Tomorrow; The Whole World will go BARMY,
As Limerick Monsters fill the Frightened Populace, with Uncanny DREAD!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Crikey, but that's a lot of readers
Luckily we host such competent leaders
Packy, Meek, and Terry brought this thread to life
while poets like Tim, Maurice, and Mike cut like a knife
with their sharp wits, they impress THIS bottom-feeder!
DEAR UMA FANG-MILY,
... To dredge, up, an olde phrase, from the fabled '60's, as a Limerick Punch-line, to a Silent Era Film:
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D
A Great CHANEY Make-Up, "THE MAN, IN THE BEAVER HAT",
A Classic VAMPIRE; frozen, evil, leering smile; with eyes, that,
Are dead, yet, alive, with malice;
Inhabiting some spooky olde Palace,
His film, lost; yet, photos, still, prove, that, LON knew "where it's at"!
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Lugosi's Dracula had three beautiful brides,
As midnight chimed poor Renfield into sleep he slides,
Unaware of the danger he was to face,
Slowly they moved towards him with grace,
Saved only from their lustful thirst as the Count from the veranda glides.
Renfield the solicitor with the brides was truly smitten
But only thanks to Dracula was he never bitten
The vampire drove him insane
and by the time it was done, he was slain
But at least he died back in Great Britain
>:( ****************************************** >:(
There, once, was a WEREWOLF who swore,
That his Curse made him a social bore,
Yet, try, as he might,
To offset his plight,
He tore his way, into more and more gore!
>:( ****************************************** >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I am the monster but I should not be taken from a wagon on wood,
My hands and feet are bound up tight and good,
O.K I stalk about the forest on the lookout for a friend,
First there was that stupid shepardess who screamed no end,
Then I met my new friend the hermit and I lost him because I stayed for some food.
A Werewolf named Wally Daninski
Was truly a hairy buttinsky
Many men has he slain
And their women he has... comforted
Not bad, for a wolf-man in his seventies
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
WEREWOLVES AND THE ART OF ZEN
---------------------------------------
Olde WEREWOLVES, never, seem, to die,
But, it's, not, that, we're, not, willing, to try,
Our food is quite lean,
It makes us so mean;
Killing people, on diets, is one-third less filling.
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
Time Marches, Onward, even, as March's Time runs, out,
APRIL FIRST is Tomorrow, as we Fools, all, shout,
A LON CHANEY BIRTHDAY,
A Toast: HIP-HIP-HOORAY,
With, WOLF MAN Full-Moonshine, and, Undead Sauerkraut!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, # 126, LON CHANEY, SR.
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
QUASIMODO was crowned, as "The Lord of Misrule",
LON SR., was born, on April 1st; The Festival of Fools,
Man of a Thousand Faces,
His Talents, multiple Aces,
Face and voice, hands and heart, his Imagination's tools.
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
Google results, 19,500 for LON CHANEY, SR.'S BIRTHDAY. (0.19 seconds)
Lon Chaney, Sr. — Date of Birth: April 1, 1883
"LON CHANEY SHALL NOT DIE!" FORREST J. ACKERMAN
------------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Poetry wrote on April 1st
Is recognized as some of the worst
Not for actor Lon Chaney
am I being complainy;
it's these verses to which I'm adversed
To Borrow a Punch-Line, from THE ACKER-MONSTER!
8) ************************************************************ 8)
A MONSTER, Unstoppable! His Unearthly Visage, a SIGHT: :o
Pointed Teeth; Tall Hat; Eyes, that Devour, with FRIGHT! :o
Despite the loss, of the Film's Can, :'(
Like, the too early loss, of THE MAN, :'(
We, all, know the Span, of What LON DONE AFTER MIDNIGHT! ;D
8) ************************************************************ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
Ahhh, that Glorious Era, which CLASSIC MONSTERS evoke;
With my ability, of Creative reminiscing, I'm one lucky Bloke,
Not, just, dead tradition,
More, like, Nuclear Fission,
To bring the delight, of LON, BORIS and BELA, to Today's folks!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
"Ahhh, GRASSHOPPER"
------------------------------------------------
{No relation, to DENNIS HOPPER}
::) `````````````````````````````````````````` ::)
To let Thine essential "INNER-LIMERICK" flow,
Thou must think, of SHELLEY; STOKER; POE,
Just construct a phrase,
That's sure, to amaze,
And watch, as these verbal MONSTERS grow!
::) `````````````````````````````````````````` ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
For these verbal monsters, we all are meet cattle
No matter which one of us is in the poet saddle
They consume all our time
till I must let flow rhyme
To the monsters, 'growing' is half the battle!
A SIDE-EFFECT OF IRON-POE BLOOD?
:( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :(
It is, fast, approaching Six A.M., on this April Sunday Morn,
Between sleep and, cyber-dreams, I am tossed and torn,
Asleep: I tend, to snore, ::)
On-line: The Limerick chore; :o
To Dream, of MONSTERS, or, be One ;) : each, a choice, forlorn. :'(
:( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
POOR MR. SASQUATCH! What happened to him was, truly, ABOMINABLE!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
The YETI, with his NETI-POT, was cleaning, out, his sinuses,
One howling winter day, pond'ring its pluses, and, minuses,
The snow-drifts, round-about,
Made him vacillate, "In, or, out?"
Ahead, by a nose, yet, as he arose, he got "STONED", by local the MEDUSAS!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
When I buy my Uni monsters I love to get huge savings,
The smell of the vinyl leads to these cravings,
If the package has that rare model of Dynamo Dan,
What more can a fella ask only that it's in the can,
Thank you all for listening to my most recent ravings.
Never trust an allergy medication from a demon
It just might turn your face to stone, or at best leave you screamin'
I'd rather have a plugged-up head
than have it 'cured' by being dead
I'll get my prescriptions from a PhD man
My first Universal monster toy
was a MEGO Frankie when I was a boy
he's now gone! I must wail,
long ago sold in a yard sale
I just hope he still brings someone joy
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :D
I don't, really, collect, much, except, DRACULA'S dust,
Or, from my Friend, RICHARD SHEFFIELD, whom I trust,
Is my rare DRACULA RING,
My only Treasured BLING,
Unless you count the sculpted 3-D ring, of ELVIRA'S Bust!
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
My friend the Baron is a person you can trust,
I know that in his hands this thread will never rust,
But I've noticed of late,
That he must long for a date,
Hence his healthy desires over Mistress Elvira's bust.
With the love of that vampiric bust
Good Baron, I sympathize much
In fact I could say
A safe bet any day:
On THOSE subjects, we'd
all like to... touch!
<ahem!>
Mike C.
I probably shouldn't be rhyming
Twice in row; it's bad timing
But if 'a limerick a day
Keeps the Baron at bay',
Then two ought to send him into hiding!
Mike C.
My friend the Baron is a person you can trust,
I know that in his hands this thread will never rust,
But I've noticed of late,
That he must long for a date,{* ;) *}
Hence his healthy desires over Mistress Elvira's bust.
---------------------------------------------------------
{* ;) * More, on this, soon.}
* PREFACE
----------
SPLENDEAD:
-------------
According, to the Von WOLFSTEIN DICTIONARY, SPLENEAD is the Past Tense, of SPLENDID.
The Logic is simple, if not downright, non-existant:
When you're PAST TENSE, you're most likely dead!
A Second Definition, for SPLENDEAD, is: "Overdosing, on a sugar substitute." Also, spelled: SPLENDAED.
A SECOND Definition, for "PAST TENSE", is "UTTERLY RELAXED".
As GROUCHO stated: "We're way past tents; we're living in bungalows, now."
As JETHRO TULL sang: "So, let's bungle{low}, in the jungle... well, it's alright, by me."}
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
BR'ER MAURICE: Thy latest contribution, indeed, is most splendead!
As fine a Limerick, as e'er, m'Lad, that I've encountered; writ, or, read;
'Though my praise pours, forth,
Like Fine Wine, south to north,
This Limerick, from my entrails, I hope, won't go to your head!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
With the love of that vampiric bust
Good Baron, I sympathize much
In fact I could say
A safe bet any day:
On THOSE subjects, we'd all like to... touch!
<ahem!>
~ Mike C.
--------------------------------------------------------
ELVIRA, or, BUST; a concept, absent, of choice, ::)
Not: "one, or, the other", do I, upon you, foist, >:(
She's a package deal, ;D
For which you feel, :o
In Braille, like a snail; your tongue, your voice! ;)
----------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I am humbled by the Barons words, he is a great mentor and to be in his company an honour to be sure.
There's a mummy loose on the ground,
Lock all the windows and doors,
Make sure that you search all the floors,
Tread very carefully before a corner you go round,
If you are caught all is lost as your body will never be found.
I probably shouldn't be rhyming
Twice in row; it's bad timing
But if 'a limerick a day
Keeps the Baron at bay',
Then two ought to send him into hiding!
~ Mike C.
8) -------------------------------------------------------------------- 8)
MIKE C., My BROTHER! Moi? "Go, into hiding"?! Au contraire!
For two Limericks, writ, per day, my Friend, I'll go nowhere;
True, this madness is an Art;
To "put on airs", not, just, f*rt,
Don't HECKLE, JEKYLL, nor, if you CROW, about HYDING, swear!
8) -------------------------------------------------------------------- 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
The MONSTERS know genuine pain,
They wish they were human, again,
They drink blood; tear out throats,
Mummies yearn, to sow wild oats,
Whilst Zombies make Lunch, out, of brains!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
GODZILLA made Tokyo "Toast",
With his bad breath, made it roast,
Nuke fire, from gizzard,
Unique claim, for a Lizard,
So, being KING of MONSTERS' his boast!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Godzilla is a wimp hear me roar,
I am the King of monsters I am Kong,
Japan may have been leveled which is wrong,
When I growl you'll run until your feet are sore,
The only downside is I cant be like Mothra and into the heavens soar.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
On massive staircase, festooned, in cobwebs, I approached,
This young Englishman, who, just alighted, from my coach,
Sees the fiendish gleam, in my eyes,
From 500 years, of Undead, devilish lies,
I am DRACULA, Vampire King; upon his throat, I'll, soon, encroach.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
My BELOVED UMA FANG-MILY,
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
Amid recent heartaches, of a tempest-tossed life,
I am, most amazed, to have found my wife,
The past buries its evil dead,
In October, we're to be wed,
For, in her Christ-filled Love, I am healed, of strife.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~;D
The scary 1944 Poster read: "The Devil's Own Brood",
No MYSTERY, in THE HOUSE, unlike, "EDWIN DROOD",
With Icons, BORIS and LON,
Meeting GLENN and JOHN,
Plus, LEO and ELENA; WOW! Always, makes me FEEL GOOD!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~ ;D
In our LIFE'S MONSTER SALAD, The Ingredient List RUNS,
So, to Laugh, 'til you cry, scoop on UNCLE FORRY ONIONS;
For, 'tho', we, oft, make HASTE,
We mustn't skimp, on the TASTE,
Keep ladling, on, the savoured Flavour, of PERPETUAL PUNS!
;D ~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FJA & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
What's this? The Barons salad gives you the runs. Behave yourself Sir!
While it is great to hear the Baron's news,
I can't help but run to pinch my nose,
He has plans to rule the World with his onion dose,
I see the masses run for their lives from his vantage views,
People in general holding their noses from his foul phews.
His recipe does sound quite dismal;
The depth of the gas pains abysmal.
But short of abstaining,
The only remaining
Solution is Pepto-Bismol!
Mike C.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~~~~ ::)
BARON Von WOLFSTEIN is a MONSTER, most HAIRY,
With MAURICE and MIKE C., a STOOGE, like LARRY,
Three WILD'N'CRAZY Writer GUYS,
Limerick puns, of the most truthful lies,
Who amuse, via Nonsense, in GENERAL, like, TERRY!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & CRAZY IVAN & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
In old Edinburgh town lived a man called Gray,
Nightly this fiend goes about his grisly task to slay,
His delight is torturing Dr MacFarlaine over his dark past,
How much can a man take before he breaks at last,
With blood on his hands he meets his end as fear holds sway.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
In IRELAND, the Banshees do roam,
Mad, at the mouth, they do foam,
Your life they shall quell,
A wraith-like death-knell,
So, don't let one follow you home!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
COUNT DRACULA said, to His Vampire Bride,
Don't drink the Blood, from JEKYLL & HYDE,
Their blood has a taint,
They are what they ain't,
If you do, you might unleash a MONSTER inside!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
LARRY TALBOT, into THE WOLF MAN, did CHANGE, :-[
'Neath the Full Moon's influence became DERANGED; >:(
He Lupinely loped, from the MOORS, ;)
Thru DR. NIEMANN'S Mad Lab DOORS, ::)
To MEET a FRANKENSTEIN, o' the GLENN, most STRANGE! :o
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Dear LURKING NON-MEMBERS,
... To catch the full effect, and meaning, of this Limerick, you must sign up, with The UMA! :-*
... 'Tis the TAG{You're-It}LINE, to a luvly thread!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
:o ICON ;) TRANS :) FORM :D A ;D TION 8) Oooohhh! SCARY! ::)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"REVENGE", Br'er MAURICE?! ... "TERRIBLE", you say?!
Why, you're, as guilty, as I, in writing our Limerick essays,
Poor DAVID might have become daft,
Worth it; if, even, once, he's laughed,
Proves, that, "he's worth his salt", in our MONSTER KID Ways!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
:o ICON ;) TRANS :) FORM :D A ;D TION 8) Oooohhh! SCARY! ::)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, Like DAVID, GOOOOODDD!, B.G.G.
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on April 02, 2009, 03:46:44 AM
To Borrow a Punch-Line, from THE ACKER-MONSTER!
8) ************************************************************ 8)
A MONSTER, Unstoppable! His Unearthly Visage, a SIGHT: :o
Pointed Teeth; Tall Hat; Eyes, that Devour, with FRIGHT! :o
Despite the loss, of the Film's Can, :'(
Like, the too early loss, of THE MAN, :'(
We, all, know the Span, of What LON DONE AFTER MIDNIGHT! ;D
8) ************************************************************ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
ROTFLMAO!!!!!! ;D(http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/92/l_c5c8df59c4344306a9bc13c9298de2a5.jpg)
There was a horror director named Tod,
Who thought that carnie people were near to God,
He treated them with grace,
While others were a disgrace,
Even before they broke ranks and pitched into a sod.
I salute the cast of Freaks the real beautiful people. I have always found it to be a poignant love letter of a film.
Welcome LonChaney to the Limerick thread
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
Welcome, To LON CHANEY, THE MAN, Of VERSATILE FACE,
THE UMA began, with Your Work; Now, quite, a Cyber-Place,
Despite Multitudinous MONSTERS, galore,
Their best origins were YOURS, of Yore,
I believe, that, you're listed, amongst my Friends, on MySpace!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & LON, SR. & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER awoke, and, "went, for a walk",
To help his Friend, YGOR, by "cleaning the Jury's clocks",
One, by one, "He done them in"
Murder, most foul; a Mortal Sin,
'Til WOLF saved his Son and gave the MONSTER his knocks!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BORIS & BELA & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Junior wanted to follow his Father's dream,
But his time came as the Wolfman gathered steam,
Lon Sr may have created the Phantom and other strange roles,
So together they played a variety of great horror as likeminded souls,
What a World of monsters and fools they left this father and Son team.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
... My Beloved BROTHER, &, Fellow HORROR HOST, ANTON JOSEPH, celebrates another Birthday!
... A Merlot Salute, to Thee, Great Soul!
... GOD Bless You, TAMMY & EDWARD!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
There, once, again, comes a NIGHT, called WALPURGIS,
When, wisely, we stay home, lest, evil should PURGE US,
Don't go, out, crazy, to SHOP,
Or, all, your money, you'll DROP,
No! Stay home, and, Pray, some, to calm the MALL URGES.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & PROFESSOR GRIFFIN & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I don't know how you do it, Baron you never miss a holiday. I have heard it whispered that you are a master of arcane practises, either that or you have a calendar. Personally I like the first reason better it adds an air of mystery.
Walpurgis night is celebrated in Germanic states,
Ghosts and ghouls haunt the night and it never abates,
Children laugh and dress up like the Halloween feast,
Roaring and screaming they roam the streets like some wild beast,
Theres fun to be had as well as the odd fright along the cemetery gates.
TV HORROR: "I have heard it whispered that you are a master of arcane practises,"
... Actually, Br'er MAURICE, I pass muster using an "R"-CANE and am a practicing Proctologist!
... After all, Practice makes perfect!
TV HORROR: "either that or you have a calendar."
... And, make Salads, in a colander ... in my Proctological practice, it's called a COLONDER!
TV HORROR: "Personally I like the first reason better it adds an air of mystery."
... Yes, some "mysterious airs" are "circulating" ;) , about my personal space! :o
... Which inspired STING, to sing:
"don't stand, so,
don't stand, so,
don't stand, so close, to me..."
... Which inspired me to quoth:
"Oh, STING, where is Thy death?!"
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
A WEREWOLF, named IVAN, was, out, to sea,
A Brave Sailorman, vowing, to keep us, all, free,
POPEYE, with Spinach, he is, not,
Rather, ties Spinal Cords, in a knot,
But, we miss him, a lot, TV HORROR and me!
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & CRAZY IVAN & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on April 18, 2009, 04:00:18 AM
My BELOVED UMA FANG-MILY,
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
Amid recent heartaches, of a tempest-tossed life,
I am, most amazed, to have found my wife,
The past buries its evil dead,
In October, we're to be wed,
For, in her Christ-filled Love, I am healed, of strife.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
What's this? Do my old eyes deceive?
I hope not, or I'll have cause to greive
for this jouyous occasion
we'll all gain new relation
as a sister-in-law we are soon to receive!
Congrats and God Bless both of you!
Though I thought to simply lie down and expire
Maurice broke news to me of urgency most dire
Timothy weds this October
So I must become sober
And abandon this plot to retire!
With no clear holiday for May 1st
You can expect this poem to be one of my worst
Hardly anyone celebrates Beltane
And running round May Poles can be a real pain
I shouldn't bother with rhyming, but I'm cursed
Our little shaver has returned from the Mediterranean,
Because of his sea bound voyage he never got much but a medium tan,
So I welcome him back with an open arm,
Various members noticed his return for great harm,
Bogey, the Baron and myself are pleased for he is our man.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;)
IVAN hath returned, in this Merrie month, o' MAY,
With more stories, to tell, than TURHAN BEY,
He was evil, yes; but, no dummy;
Other, than cheating THE MUMMY,
4000 Year-olde Dirt, proves that, GRIME DOESN'T PAY!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Most recently I went to Walt Disney World
And dined at the decorated Planet Hollywood
Now I'm just happy to be here
Heck, I'm glad these days to be anywhere
Though I've yet to visit Universal Studios Orlando like I should
It's been a while I know
But rhyming to me comes slow
Yet this thread is so welcoming
Even a novice can feel like E.E. Cumming(s)
Unsure of his pen, General Terry
Of writing a poem was wary--
He feared he'd be rotten--
But so good he's gotten
That his talent is now almost scary!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
ROBERT, TERRY and IVAN are posting, gloriously, once, again,
This thread glows, with positive Life; filled, with Good Friends,
Creativity, anew, within our Ranks, soars,
Proves us, not, fossils, we, UMA Dinosaurs,
Distinction, not, extinction, our Creed; we, all, say: "AMEN!"
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
CRAZY IVAN writ:
What's this? Do my old eyes deceive?
I hope not, or I'll have cause to grieve
for this joyous occasion
we'll all gain new relation
as a sister-in-law we are soon to receive!
Congrats and God Bless both of you!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
My BELA-ted Thanks, to Br'er IVAN,
For no false emotions, connivin',
O'er the Wife, I'll be takin',
Who is, True; not, a fake 'n',
Come, to our Weddin'; we'll be High-5in'!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
My Beloved Bride says, that, she wishes, to take,
A new, and, second, Tattoo, for her Hubby's Sake;
A Portrait, o' BARON Von WOLFSTEIN,
My BARONESS' Love is, like, NEW WINE,
I can hardly wait, to begin Our Life, of LOVE, that we'll make!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
A tattoo of the Baron would be boss
And the perfect decor for Mrs Tmotheus
I know she'll feel much deared
if she acts like your mirror
Since your reflection is merely a loss
;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
A BARON Von WOLFSTEIN Tattoo, on Her BACK, would be "BOSS", ;)
LOVE'S Constant Reminder, of Her Luvin' WOLF/MAN, TIMOTHEUS, :-*
To be fair; I'd rather find it, up, THERE, ::)
Than, if it be located, on her DERRIERE, :o
"BUMMED-OUT", by the "Comparison", which is, too oft, Moi CROSS! :-[
;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::)
THE MUMMY, IM-HOTEP, by name,
Decided, to play his little arcane game,
To win, back, the love,
Of his long-lost Lover,
That, he failed, she should take the blame.
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::)
"'Tis a woman's perogative, to change her mind."
After so many Re-Incarnations, who could blame her?
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Wolfstein and ladylove, who are datin'--
I'm curious--Are you in Dayton?
Or do you still be
In Ol' Tennessee?
To know your location I'm waitin'!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
My Beloved Brother, TYPHOOFORME,
Remainin', we'll be, in TENNESSEE,
Yet, we love, to travel,
So, Ohio, we'll unravel,
As, long, as it's part, o' The Land o' The FREE!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Yet anon you will trek to Penn's Woods,
To delight in the Bash brotherhoods--
Then back South you will stray,
Where--I reckon--y'all say:
Good ol' Tennessee's got the goods!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
Dear ELDER ROBERT, is, y'all agree, a very Funny Man,
A distinct pleasure, to converse, with one, so sage, and,
'Tho', he makes the wisest, of cracks,
His caring has taken loads, off my back,
To MONSTER BASH, with you, again, Good Friend, my definite plan!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Would that I could get to WonderFest
Or Monster Bash, or any of the rest
But my ship is returning to sea
And it had better not go without me
Or I could wind up in the brig; no jest
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
CRAZY IVAN; in The BRIG? Like, LON, in the local jail, in HOD;
DR. EDELMAN & MILITZA watched his Transformation, odd!
LON "took a turn, for the Nurse";
Broke EDELMAN'S Vampire curse...
When the Full Moon arose, finally, kept his LARRY TALBOT Bod!
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~~~~ ::)
The VAMPIRES arose, at nightfall,
In Tennessee, they suck blood, y'all;
They turn into BATS,
'Cos, "That's where it's at!",
But, the last line, I just don't recall!
::) ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Perhaps vampires have been buzzing the Baron
Into their eyes he's been starin'
His memory's fine
but he's forgotten the line
How unlike Brother Timothy Herron!
Quote from: fmofmpls on May 01, 2009, 08:19:38 PM
It's been a while I know
But rhyming to me comes slow
Yet this thread is so welcoming
Even a novice can feel like E.E. Cumming(s)
Terry, it's very plain to me
You're missing a line; where can it be?
They must total five--
Or else it is jive
And your limerick ISN'T one, you see.
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
WONDERFEST, DONE; The day, now, called: "MON",
Of Tales, of UMA Delights, I've got, literally, a TON!
Howe'er, due, to Limerick VERSE,
Requiring Poetics, quite, TERSE,
I'm adverse, to adding verse, so, I'll end, with a PUN!
::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I'm sailing fast to Manhattan Isle
I won't be back home for quite a while
But if someone could post pix from WonderFest or a link
(he says with a nudge and a wink)
then I'm sure I'll handle being gone with a smile
:'( The UMA Limericks are bad.
Their Rhyming and Syntax are sad.
I hear you say "NO"!
and "Say it's not so"!
But the Irish in me says "There's the Lad"!
Sorry to all about my limerick. I was going on no sleep and just for fun, I dashed out a piece of doggerel. Every one here does a great job and I didn't mean to offend anyone. You all have my most serious apology.
Uncula
Uncula you haven't offended
we knew that you only pretended
to label us lame
with your rhyme just the same
No apology needs to be sended
My Brother, Tim, I surely missed,
Having not attended Wonderfest,
Robert Taylor, too
New friends, who
I hope will soon make a trek out West!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
UNCULA is a most charming Soul, that's a fact,
Since his Niece is our own Poet, MISS DRAC,
We shared WONDERFEST FUN,
Three days, on the pun... er, Run,
His Limerick, funny & quaint; sans intent, to detract.
;D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
A distinct pleasure, and, great Honour, to manifest UMA LOVE,
For, all, of the CLASSIC MONSTERS, whether, here, or, Above,
This WONDERFEST, COUNT DRACULA reigned,
Said He, with toothy grin: "I vould do it, again!"
"For, I represent UMA MONSTER-KID JOY, if push comes, to shove!"
:-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I'm sorry I missed out on the show
I really had wanted to go
with the Uncle Forry tribute
and an Alien movie theme, to boot
I would have loved it, I know!
:D My UMA friends are like kin
surely, in them is no sin.
When you do something dumb
and have started to run,
they reach out and bring you back in.
Thanks to all!, Uncula
:-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
We are, all, in this UMA ARMY, together,
Despite many storms, we must weather,
My FANG-MILY, you are;
FORGIVENESS runs, far,
To establish LOVE'S Freedom; not, ego's tether.
:-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
My poems lean towards the comical
But the Baron is quite philosphical
WE all are brothers in arms
In the UMA we do not cause harm
Unless you count that "accident" with the Necronomical
:-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
I'd hoped, to attend California's MONSTERPALOOZA,
To be DRACULA, or, FRANKENSTEIN, I had, to choosa,
Then, my BELOVED, BETH, came my way,
So, my cash is reserved, for our WEDDING DAY,
Mayhap, next year, we can ride, to CAL., on my APPALOOSA!
:-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
"NEVERMORE!" Quoth E. A. POE'S RAVEN,
To the Man, victimized, and, quite, craven;
That, the Bird never wert,
Either, ERNIE or, BERT,
On yon Bust of PALLAS; a hell-spawn Maven!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:-[ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :(
MONSTERPALOOZA is Here; ALAS! OH, NOOOOOOOO!
I wanted, to be, There, "BUT, ON, WITH THE SHOW!"
I'll miss, out, on DANNY'S Dinner,
Still, I won't grow any thinner,
Next year, I'll be a WINNER, when BETH & I get, to go!
:-[ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D
A Great Weekend, for, a pretty nifty suit, of THREADS,
MONSTERPALOOZA is The REASON; so well-read,
DANNY ROEBUCK & MIKE C. SHINE;
ELIOT B. hath Created a FRANKENSTEIN!
Keep the photos/write-ups comin'; Sweet Dreams, when I go to BED!
;D ~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Two great cons, back to back I missed.
Because I was afloat; man, was I... frustrated.
During Monsterpalooza and WonderFest
I couldn't avoid being sailor-dressed,
Lest anyone think they were dissed.
:o ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o
Our Dear Brother PERRY, as a Young JACK PIERCE,
Bore a resemblance, to our Hero, awesomely fierce,
'Neath foam latex and glue,
Kindred Spirits shine, through,
I give the Dude due praise, during my prayer-time, of TIERCE!
:o ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o
THANK GOD, for a Monastic Back-ground!
... Rhyming PIERCE / Fierce... ?!... AMBROSE BIERCE?! Nadalottaoptions! ;)
... Turns, out, that the choice, of TIERCE had multiple, Cosmically-Comedic-Confluence!
tierce (tîrs) n. 1. also Tierce (tîrs) or terce or Terce (tûrs) Ecclesiastical
a. The third of the seven canonical hours. No longer in liturgical use.
b. The time of day appointed for this service, usually the third hour after sunrise.
ALSO:
-------
2. A measure of liquid capacity, equal to a third of a pipe, or 42 gallons (159 liters).
;) What most MONSTER KIDS consume, in the Hotel Bar, during the Convention! ;)
3. Games: A sequence of three cards of the same suit.
::) Like GROUCHO, HARPO & CHICO; or, LARRY, CURLY & MOE! ::)
4. Sports: The third position from which a parry or thrust can be made in fencing.
;D SEE?! They referred, to PERRY, directly, by name... even, though it's misspelled! ;D
5. Music: An interval of a third.
[Middle English, from Old French, from feminine of tiers, third, from Latin tertius; see trei- in Indo-European roots.]
Here, endeth the Epistle.
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BROTHER TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.
;) ~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-*
So many UMA Threads, to read; they, truly, do, Suit us, so very well,
Our MONSTER KID Warp and Woof, recorded, is, ever, clear, as a bell;
Spanning the weave, of Time,
So many subjects; sublime,
Save, these LIMBURGER-ICKS; as you can tell, by your sense, of smell!
;) ~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
A rose, by any other name, doth still smell as sweet
So too does this thread of limericks remind me of old feet
Our poets have proven resourceful
no matter, our readers remorseful
But we're long passed the point of retreat.
:'( - "THE WAY - :'( - YOU WALKED - :'( - WAS THORNY" - :'(
DAVID CARRADINE, may your tormented Soul, indeed, Rest, in Peace,
From the personal demons, that haunted you, may you, be Released.
GOD'S Mercy, EVERNOW, Attend You,
Immortal; Free, of, all, that tainted you,
Your TRUE IDENTITY, Released; with your DAD, be HEAVEN-BLESSED!
:'( - LOVE DIVINE - :'( - BE WITH YOU - :'( - IN PEACE, EVERNOW- :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
From his Lab-Slab, THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER arose,
Punched his Doctor-Creator, right, square, in the nose;
When THE MONSTER landed his punch,
It made the poor Doc "Blow Lunch",
THE MONSTER laughed, then, said: "Ahoy! Thar he blows!"
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
Amid moonlit ruins, the WOLF MAN is forced, to prowl,
Chased, there, by angry villagers, he emits a fierce howl;
The olde floor collapses,
Ice Cavern entraps him;
As LARRY TALBOT, finds FRANKENSTEIN; face, set, in a scowl!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :'(
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, at the organ, did bask,
In Genius, playing DON JUAN TRIUMPHANT, his life's task,
CHRISTINE, romantically, attracted,
While ERIK was absorbed, distracted;
His Artistic Dream ended, when she removed his mask!
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
MAX'S Birthday, again; just, like, his head,
The years roll, by, like, I roll, out, of bed!
His playing TARZAN, to Wife, JANE,
Is, like, DR. PRETORIOUS; INSANE;
She loves his Brain, 'tho' his body, he shed!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAX!!!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The Creature had a thing for the gals that were 'swimmy'
but he had a hard time, cause his face was all 'finny'
so he came up with a plan
to grab whoever he can
Wait; is this a poem not written by Timmy?
*****************************************
Universal's got a new "Creature" show,
For more monster fans, they hope to sow.
Should new fans it bring in,
For Universal, it's a win,
But for purists, it brings only woe!
******************************************
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :-*
THE CREATURE, and, Moi, we've run, long, "neck-to-neck",
We, both, work, for SCALE, but, Hey! What the heck?!
Brothers, CRAZY 1VAN & PERRY S.,
Valiantly, try, to clean, up, my mess,
Like, RODNEY DANGERFIELD, I say: "I don't get no respect!"
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Brother Timmy's too modest to say
But he's all that keeps the wolves at bay
When the rest of us our slacking
his poetic whip is cracking
And this forum thread grows by him every day!
My daughter moved out,
she's long gone.
But to look in the garage you'd say I'm wrong.
But She came today.
took her things all away
now we'll park in the garage e'er long.
Uncula
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
Out, of my make-ups and costumes, I'm an average guy,
To meet me, on the street, you'd never wonder: "Why?"
But, inside my mind, a Classic Monster, I'm;
Devising new performances, most o' the time;
To fill you, with Childlike Wonder, Sublime, I'll, EVERNOW, try!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
My trip to New York and New Jersey is over
I avoided the swine flu by using 4-leaf clovers
All those diagnosed have returned to working
Though their movements are filled with creaking and jerking
I can't tell if they're zombies or simply sailors that are hungover
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::)
"IF PIGS HAD WINGS", why, then, surely, "SWINE FLU",
I've seen it happen, like that, in my time, a time, or, two,
But, Brother IVAN is well,
At least, so, he do tell,
"Bringin' Home The Bacon"; a prime-cut, in a UMA Ham-bone Stew!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Seriously, Br'er IVAN, I pray, that, you {& we} continue, to evade this nasty contagion! ;D
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~ ::)
A million new threads, again! But, never, you fear!
For, UNDEAD, This MONSTER returns; I do re-appear,
To LIMERICK MONSTERS:
BELA, BORIS & LONSTER,
To Venerate, in 5 lines, ALL, that, we hold, most dear!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Chuckled tall old Sir Christopher Lee:
"I hardly believe what I see!
Knighthood honors at last
Crown my movie-filled past
Since the Queen said, 'Sir Lee--yes-sir-ree!' "
;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
When our ELDER ROBERT writes, 'tis, with serious aplomb,
His style makes DRACULA BITE; he, never, delivers a bomb!
The TAYLOR "couth" is, quite, neat,
With his "Tongue-In-Cheek", replete,
I marvel, at his proverbial feats; BEST, someday, on a UMA CD-ROM!
;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :'(
THE MONSTER BASH, upon this Year's Horizon, looms,
Memories abound, for me, from each and every room,
Alas, this year is, not, mine,
Despite my FRANKENSTEIN,
Work & Wife take precedence, &, mayhap, a smidgen, of gloom.
:'( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :'(~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-*
Dearest Brothers, E-GeORge and YGOR and RICHARD GORDON,
My MONSTER BASH FRIENDS;, FANG-MILY, to whom I'm beholden,
Whilst I miss them, 'tis true,
Better, to rejoice, than, to rue,
You, all, live, in my heart, in Memories & future Hopes, GOLDEN!
;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :'(~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
It's been a while since I posted to this thread
But don't think that means that I'm (living) dead
Though my talent's run dry
Timmy's the real guy
that's the reason this topic's so well read!
:o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-*
So, IVAN knows: "TIMMY'S the Real GUY FAWKES!";
Smoking his PARLIAMENTS, straight, from the box;
No VENDETTA, that, we know, of;
His "V" is, all, "PEACE & SHOW LOVE",
A VICTORIOUS VICTORIAN VAMPIRE, He Really, ROCKS!
:o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Guy Fawkes, a vampire? I don't know if you're serious.
But Victorian? No way! Timmy must be delirious!
Guy was captured by the Brits and well tortured
His "victory" was dying before being drawn and quartered
Though 400 years later, his impact on culture is clear... ius.
;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-*
HOORAY, I say, for our Beloved Brother, IVAN,
With him, I know, of no guile & very little connivin',
He picks up the slack,
In Limerick joyful attack,
His brain's out-of-whack, but, his Heart is a-thrivin'!
;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG Sergeant ***** Posts: 932
Re: New Sub-Forums; Reply #5 on: Weds, 1st, o' July. A.D. 2009 at 2:12:36 AM »
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
I LOVE, all, the UMA FORUMS, even, the SUBS,
Please, kindly, pay us a visit; aye, there's the rub,
To forget our Off-4E-rings is sad,
LIMERICKS, misunderstood, not, bad,
Tucked, away, just, as Rad, off the main Hub, BUB.
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & BETH & IVAN & PAUL & ROBERT & TERRY & YOU!, B.G.G.
The Universal Monster Army TOYS IN THE ATTIC TOUR
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
My Beloved, BETH, and, I, on This INDEPENDENCE DAY, The 4th, of JULY,
Wish, to our UMA TROOPS, this slice, of Gratefully Received APPLE PIE:
We Pray, for a most Safe and Happy HOLIDAY,
As AMERICANS, who enjoy the Right, to say,
"GOD BLESS AMERICA"; Thanking Those, who, for our Country, have died.
:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Timmy and Beth, I return your salute!
Grab you own horn, and give it a toot!
No horn, but I do have a cowbell
and I don't really play it too well
But my patriotism, like yours, is resolute!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :'(
Since our LIMERICK thread, now, resides, on "Games, Polls and Lists",
Our readership hath dwindled, down, to a trickle; often, quite missed,
IVAN, remain, we must, iron-willed and resolute,
To make our dedicated few, laugh & hoot, to boot,
Unable, to resist venturing, here; like, the VAMPIRE'S Kiss, too hard, to resist.
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
To bolster our readership will be tough
We must be made of sterner stuff
With more poems posted we could
if we started making our poems good
I'm not sure I'm creative enough
::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::)
Dear IVAN; why imply, that our poems are, not, good?!
We don't rhyme, in Hip-Hop, like Da Boyz In Da Hood!
Mayhap, Brother, mine, if we did,
We'd snag the Younger UMA Kids,
Who'd think our word-skills, "TOP-NOTCH", like, FILM was, to ED WOOD!
::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I simply suggest, Brother Tim, that in Games, Polls, and Lists
We may be left alone here, shaking our fists
Not that we're worse than before
Or that our egos ought be sore
But better bait might catch more prey, get the gist?
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ;)
COUNT DRACULA, unto his Brides, did remark:
"I loff it, ven de day fades, into night's dark!"
"Ve arise, from our coffins,
As we've done, quite, often,
Leafing Human-form, for dat, of a BAT; Vot a lark!"
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Kharis the Mummy wanted to travel
but the roads were all made of sand or gravel
He wanted to ride in an airplane
but he snagged his heel debarking Cairo's train
And his plans all began to unravel
:o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
THE BANSHEE appeared; giving me a bad Fright;
Worse, it happened, to be HALLOWEEN NIGHT!
I said: "Am I dead?!"
Said she: "No, just overfed!"
So, I tossed her my candy & ran, swiftly, out of sight!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
When my dryer makes klunks, thuds, and knocks,
it's cause a monster's in there, eating my socks
When I told him to quit it
he ate my sweater -- hand knitted!
That's why I keep it in chains with big locks
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
IVAN'S Dryer is a UMA WONDERLAND, schlock-full, of WHIMSY,
His dirty Grime, ultra-slimed; a despicable crime, so GRIM... see?!
The MONSTER, inside,
Used, to reside,
In a Fantastic Place, where the BOROGOVES, WERE, ALL, MIMSY!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Hey Abbott! I've been a very naughty boy,
I've not used my Limericks like a discarded toy,
So my punishment I'll take like cold gruel,
Yuck I say how can you be so cruel,
I'll kick my toes off the hard ground for I am really a bit coy.
So this is where the true fiends reside,
Both Ivan and the Baron are now by my side,
With my absence from this thread so long,
I'll just just have to make up a very sorry song,
But there you go I let my poor Limerick's slide.
Just as Abbott relied on Costello
We're lucky to have you, my fine fellow
Even with limericks' sliding
Maurice could not go on hiding
Else there's just be Tim and I here to bellow
Oh my limerick friends I address you
And hope you know I'd never diss you
Just playing music so much
that I fall out of touch
Guess you'd call it a-BAND-onment issue!
I should have known Packy'd still be around
He'd never let the thread get run to ground
we're now filed as a game
but we're poetically the same
Though I wouldn't mind if he played us a sound
It's been forty years since that great walk upon the Moon,
I raise my glass for a toast to those brave few who took on the boon,
Mike and Neil plus a man called Buzz ,
Left us with a legasy free from all that fuzz,
Unless it was Moon dust which was lunar and over to soon.
Though some nay-sayers scream to the contrary
I believe they stepped foot on the Moon, which is scary
So far from the planet
They brought home lunar granite
And when I stand near those rocks, I get hairy!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::)
The phrases: "MOON-SHOT", and, "TO SHOOT THE MOON",
Despite sounding, alike, are, quite, dissimilar "TUNES";
TV HORROR and CRAZY IVAN,
Both, of them, here, are thrivin',
Even, PACKY PAUL joins our thrall, to create, with us LOONS!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Horror movies and toys are very hard to miss,
So what I do is collect as much as I can what bliss,
My shelves are filled and well lined,
But Heaven help me should I ever go blind,
As a hermit I too like the Bride would give a loud hiss.
Blind monster collectors are tragic
Not able to watch the old silver screen magic
But they still can feel glee
as most toys are 3-D
So they can enjoy the well-crafted sculpted plastic
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
Your Limericks are GENIUS; Poetic, and, Bright;
Makes me feel, like, a HACK; left, out, in the night,
I'm, not, a Toy Collector,
But, a Defender/Protector,
For your 3-D enjoyment, I'm willing, to fight!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I collect, but I have little dough
I have to limit my spending just so
I only buy swag
that comes in Happy Meal bags
So I can play with the toys on the go
That last poem was not really straight dope
I do buy certain collectibles; that's how I cope
But my collection is meager
though I'm always quite eager
to add a new statue or toy lycanthrope
Dracula needed to lie in his native soil,
Yet he had poor Renfield do all the toil,
Come on you lazy cur,
And don't forget to call me sir,
Or else my blood will come to a boil.
There once was a tropic lagoon
Where a chick made a Creature swoon
He wanted to teach her
his mating procedure
But to his charms she was immune
The creature cannot be stopped by mere dolts,
So you had better try aiming your spear bolts,
If you can hit him instead of the fish,
Then his head would look good served up on a dish,
But watch out for the remains to see what's left and floats.
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D
A MUMMY escaped, from his Tomb, &, was free;
His desire, to imbibe some fresh Tana-leaf tea,
On that full-moon night,
He veered, out-of-sight,
In Modesty, to hide his privates, &, privately, pee.
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The Mummy was too tightly wrapped
And neglected to leave a rear flap
When he crapped in his bandages
He found some advantages
When dung beetles cleaned him up STAT
I never thought that I would live to see the day when our limerick thread is reduced to toilet humour! For shame Scatter and the Baron, so on that theme I give you this:
The mummy thought he was hip,
But he so badly needed a little trip,
He held it in as much as he could,
But nature called and he let go as he should,
And his bandages balloned up causing him to flip.
The mummy always gets a bad wrap
as if he has feces to get trapped
It's been a long time since he's fed
After all, he's undead
So the old boy don't need to go crap
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :-*
We WEREWOLVES appeared, in the series, HARRY POTTER,
A WIZARD, Accursed, chased HERMIONE; nearly, got her!
Bad events turned, out, all, right,
They, all, got, through the night.
Next up: Will HOGWARTS play Host, to DRACULA'S DAUGHTER?!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Though I have yet to see the new flick
I've read all the books; I think Harry Potter's kinda slick
Dumbledore once introduced Harry to a vampire
but I don't know if it was a shapeshifter or a flyer
Now a Mummy; that would do the trick
;D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;)~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
MUMMY LIMERICKS "hit the spot"; &, even, dust, do trap,
Even Dancing, if the "Spot", is "Hot"; they take no crap,
Their bandages may differ;
Yet, clean, better, than a Swiffer,
The Best Compliment, one can pay, is: "THAT'S A WRAP!"
;D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;)~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Enough about the Mummy, discuss the lycanthrope
whose movie's being ruined by some business-suited dope
that's trading off Rick Baker
for some CGI-bound faker
Poor Talbot's gone from killer to a joke
I always tread with care and I'm not going to give up hope,
For years now I've wait for a half way decent lycanthrope,
Werewolves need their time in the Moon,
Not to be confused with the Sun which comes out to soon,
Let us attest to a new hairy hero with a great clawed grope.
Larry Talbot returns to the silver silver screen soon
Universal's Wolf Man remake is making fans swoon
But the real buzz is about Ron Chaney
and House of the Wolf Man; black and white and grainy
Or I could just wait for the next full moon.
House of the Wolf Man thread
http://www.universalmonsterarmy.com/forum/index.php?topic=5271.new;topicseen#new (http://www.universalmonsterarmy.com/forum/index.php?topic=5271.new;topicseen#new)
>:( ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ >:(
WEREWOLVES are Humans, accursed; beset, by evil needs,
Transforming, to Wolfish form, they commit heinous deeds,
Suffering the Torture, damned,
Into nocturnal hours, cramm'd,
Fiendish delights, on a Full-Moon night, as their Humanity recedes.
>:( ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I've seen a few werewolves that don't cave to instinct
Scott & Todd Howard are both good kids, I thinked
Doc Waggner's retreat could have worked
Had Eddie Quist not been a jerk
Then Timmy & I wouldn't have to see all those shrinks
The Creature is big on hygiene.
The Rita has a rotten latrine.
So when he's done fishin
Stops for recondition
At Madam Toussads Gill-A-Clean
:o ~~~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~~~ :-X ~~~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~~~ ::)
IM-HOTEP, as THE MUMMY, quite, by accident, returns -
Limited, by his prospects; he's tied, to what he most yearns;
"All wrapped, up, in Myself,
After 3,700 years, 'on the shelf',
My Undying Love, for Princess ANCK-ES-EN-AMON, still, burns!"
:o ~~~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~~~ :-X ~~~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The Phantom was in a real bind
Christine had become quite a find
But the Operahouse diva
Didn't know when to leave-a
So he sabotaged her, and left her behind
Forry may have been great at being a punster,
And always calling for us to call Chaney the Lonster,
Yet he achieved so much more,
By giving us a magazine we all adore,
Such was the genius of the Ackerrmonster
Poor Drac didn't know what to do
Couldn't nod off to sleep, now day two.
He'd been dining on teen
now he buzzed on caffeine
seemed he sucked up too much Mountain Dew
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
New Life, Breathed, in our LIMERICK Thread,
MAURICE, IVAN & PACKY PAUL; All, UNDEAD;
Their brains, wrought, in print,
Shows WIT, sharper, than flint,
Challenges me, to produce, MORE, 'ere I go, to bed!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
While the Baron slips off for a quiet snooze,
We'll continue on until our fingers ooze,
Although he might find the odd chuckle,
It is up to us to tighten the buckle,
And let slip with the wit I may add without the booze.
::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
Day-time, again, I return, to the fray,
A Hair-Raising Situation; not, a Toupee;
When I get "THE BUG",
To cut a LIMERICK "RUG",
My UMA Log-In is, where, I like, to PLAY!
::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OOFY!, B.G.G.
Some Creatures moved in to my pool
and at first I though it was cool.
I put in some chlorine
now it's getting boring
they just float belly up as a rule
The big bad wolf went away in a huff,
Why because he was left without much puff,
Those little pigs had seen the Shining,
So with advanced notice they all went off singing,
But the wolf was undetered he still had the billy goat gruff.
::) ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~~~~ ;)
CLASSIC MONSTER MOVIES, I COUNT, as Most SPECTACULAR,
BORIS, BELA & LON, keep my VISION, impeccably MACULAR,
We SEE, Eye-to-Eye;
As their Films, fly, by,
I Love, to watch THEM, as FRANKENSTEIN, THE WOLF MAN & DRACULAR.
::) ~~~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Ah, Baron those movies you feature
Are the best, but what of the Creature?
The Mummy & the Invisible Man are also loved Universally
But The Hunchback & the Phantom, those two were precursory.
Sorry, didn't mean to sound like a teacher.
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on July 30, 2009, 01:19:57 AM
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
New Life, Breathed, in our LIMERICK Thread,
MAURICE, IVAN & PACKY PAUL; All, UNDEAD;
Their brains, wrought, in print,
Shows WIT, sharper, than flint,
Challenges me, to produce, MORE, 'ere I go, to bed!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
An egregious snub I've received from The Baron
Over the Monster verse that I've been sharin'
While lauding the verse of others
Among my Monster brothers
Is a mark of shame which I am wearin'
TO SCATTER
;D ~~~~~ 2, 4 THE {VINCENT} PRICE, o' 1 ~~~~~ ;D
My aggrieved, Beloved, Brother, SCATTER,
What you inscribe, here, to me, doth matter!
Amongst the BEST, Thy verse;
Ne'er, relegated, to my worst,
In this, 'tis my intent, to Praise Ye; not, merely, flatter.
My olde eyes, sometimes, deceive me;
And, metered rhyme doth, oft, relieve me,
Of, all, the facts;
Such loss, of tact,
Leaves my SCATTERED WITS, nit-picked, believe me!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Poor Baron I feel your pain.
Remembering names is MY bane.
Now that Scatter's included
Let not you be deluded -
Soon you'll be sportin a new BALL AND CHAIN!
It's too late to fix offending
and your ways are past amending
Ne'er my verse
For better or worse
Upon this thread shall be descending.
But I am open to bribes. ;D
Scat-Man, I have no bribe money
But I hear you can attract The Fly better with honey
If I throw you some praise
will that buy a few days?
I happen to find you quite funny
I'm really not truly offended
Nor do I want the thread upended
Just my sense of humor
Funny as a tumor
Look how low I have descended! LOL!!
Oops the Baron's trod on someones toes,
Now we'll hear it all year the poor souls woes,
We've been threatened beat and even the odd stake,
Yet the wit has fled forgeting our friend Scatter was a mistake,
So lets all settle down for a friendly game of dominoes.
Tim have you set a date yet for the big day,
As I'll wish you the best come what may,
I know that I'm not alone showing interest,
As the day arrives for you and Beth with pride in my breast,
Let us hope for that first dance you both get to sway.
SCATTER writ: "But I am open to bribes."
"Grin... It's my only weakness."
::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::)
My Dear Brother, The Inconsolable SCATTER,
I am sorry, if I've left your ego, in tatters,
I'm clued, into your Vibes,
Like DRACULA'S BRIBES,
Or, FRANKENSTEIN'S BRIDE, I reply, with snappy patter!
::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
THE VAMPIRE arose, from his COFFIN,
Amid a vile fit, of sneezin' and coughin'
Allergic, to his Native Soil,
His UNDEAD blood did boil,
'Cos, "These symptoms happen, too often!"
:o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Just think of the poor mummy all that sun and no tan,
He is so wrapped up in himself that he forgot his fan,
The bandages start to tighten,
Leaving a very grumpy mummy to frighten,
Why oh why could he not have been the invisible man.
In the new remake of The Creech
He's given the power of speech
"Quit shootin' yer guns
I just want some fun
With the sexy broad on the beach!"
The Invisible Man was quite sleezy
Since he wore no clothes; it was easy
But his voyeurist life
was not devoid of strife
He caught colds every time it got breezy
The Mystery men had their very own invisible boy,
But the only drawback was he so coy,
So he needed the crew to look away,
For his powers to come on persay,
And as we found out he never even got his own toy.
;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;)
MORE LIMERICKS; so, jovially Tongue-In-Cheek,
Despite their owners' having snouts, or, beaks,
Keen acuity, of sight and smell,
Provides GAMY Airs, of verbal hell,
Whiff the CARRION STENCH, as we play HYDE-AND-REEK!
;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Oh I'm going into a real foul mood,
Because the Baron has involved me within his brood,
Look he even used my alter ego name Hyde,
Hyde and reek he cried looking all snide,
he had better watch out in case he finds himself sued.
Here's a foul joke for the Baron, Why was he not invited to Dracula's castle? Because he kept on BARON-ing money. (Groan)
"The Good Old Days" ( yes theme limericks)
When Mom would call "Packy time for bed..."
Dad said "Finish homework instead!"
I knew what he meant,
and with Mom now content,
whispered "Let's go glue on Frankenstein's head".
The lady at Kresge's was mean...
"You kids put back that bad magazine!"
And though I abhorred her
She still got my quarter
(if she owned the rubber spider machine)
The man with the back of a camel
Quasimodo the Dromedary mammal
Tonight he will crush
that kid with the brush
that covered him in Testor's Enamel.
Speaking of Quasimodo with a cheerful little song,
Of he went into the deepest part of the jungle then what a pong,
What's this he cried,
The stench of which he nearly died,
He had trod in the dung of an ape called Kong.
Well you can't say that my limericks aren't kingsized.
::) ~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
THESE TOPICS OF CAPRICE-CORN,
Star-studded LIMERICKS, sans porn,
Won't HYDE, 'cos, I LUV it;
Thy Brains, do I covet,
Reading them, on the verge, o' new morn!
::) ~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The baron's words hit me so deep,
For he knows that I'm not some creep,
Why writing these limericks are a release,
And a joy for some moderators to police,
Before I can get into a good nights sleep.
I'd say we all suffer a sickness
To think up such odd limerick-ness
Monsters on the brain
That ain't really sane
But to make these lines rhyme; that's the trick-ness
:o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o
My LIMERICKS might strike you, as verbose;
Drag you, into sad moods, dour and morose,
Of THE MONSTERS, I write,
Ev'ry night; quite, a blight,
'Tho', not, so much, of a fright, as GLENN CLOSE!
:o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Frankenstein's Maria was our little flower,
Poor thing ended up drowned beyond the tower,
Although he was misunderstood,
It was no reason for him to be torched with wood,
The monster's world had turned quite sour.
When the Bride first met her would-be groom
She couldn't stand to be in the same room
Dejected, the Monster then said
to his maker, "We belong dead"
And turned the castle into their fiery tomb.
The month is coming when the wolfsbane is in full bloom,
Poor Larry is at the end of his tether and filled with gloom,
What arcane secret can cure his plight,
No there is nothing for him only to take flight,
His answers may lie far afield before his very doom.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
LARRY TALBOT'S Full-Moon "situation" gets very HAIRY;
FRANKENSTEIN'S BRIDE refuses, her Suitor, to MARRY;
COUNT DRACULA drove RENFIELD, quite, BATS;
DR. VITUS WERDEGAST, afraid, of BLACK CATS;
THE MUMMY, who'd kill, for TANA LEAF TEA, cannot stay BURIED!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
Beloved Brother, MICHAEL THOMAS, has the Respect, of us, all,
He will, never, be forgotten, by MONSTER KIDS, Great, or, small;
To HEAVEN DIVINE, he's been Born,
In LOVE, EVERNOW; so, do, not, mourn;
Now, Complete, He dwells, in LOVE'S Perfection; as on Earth, 'twas His Call.
:'( ~~~~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :(
I don't know where everyone is,
They've left me, alone, with this biz,
I, bravely, write on,
Muster ;) up GREY'S POU-PON,
All this practice makes me a LIMERICK WIZ!
:'( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
It's true; the limerick game's got a wiz
And the Baron is it, yes he is!
With a wave of his wand
he rhymes "Grey's Pou-Pon"
Even when the thread's lost some of its fizz
There once was an actor named Bela
Who was a Hungarian fella
He hated the rain
And often would deign
To use a bat as an umbrella
Alone I sit my factory empty
The clocks I stare at sorely tempt me.
"Vile minute-hand-
You'd get me canned!"
No leaving early on 4 Septemby.
I changed my mind GOODBYE!~
Poor old Packy is waiting for his work to expire,
But what he did not know the clockface looked dire,
He was plotting Packy's demise,
What would happen to our friend we can but surmise,
Packy jumps with a start and pulls a gun bang goes the clock spire!
It's the start of a holiday weekend
Don't know if Packy's off Monday, but I can pretend
So he started it early
Perhaps wrong, but surely
the work day just needed to end.
::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :-*
As, again, this passing Summer season ceaseth,
So, in our brains, too, shalt Autumn increaseth,
ALL-HALLOW-E'EN'S approacheth,
CLASSIC MONSTERS encroacheth,
Eggs, unpoached; as our LIMERICKS do teaseth!
::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Eggs, no no; that's for the Spring!
We're fixin' to celebrate a whole different thing!
In Autumn I wear wolf attire
Be it a wolf that is red, grey, or dire
And that Autumn moon just makes me sing.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
Br'er IVAN; I agree, this Season, before us,
Is time, to cite, in joyous Howling Chorus;
All colour, indeed, is, eerily, dire,
If lit, by JACK O' LANTERN'S Fire;
Caked, we, in muck & mire; not, neat & clean, like BORIS!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Even a man who's pure in heart
and says his prayers at night,
is probably a wimp.
Jerosaur, welcome to the poetry thread
Like the title says, Limericks Ahead
your verse may not match
That's okay, but here's the catch;
Dis the Wolf Man, and you might wind up dead
Limericks!
There once was a fella named Larry
Who was really more gentle than scary
But when wolfsbane would bloom
Under light of the moon
He would get really creepy and hairy!
Welcome to the Limerick thread,
Once bitten you'll now be full of dread.
From the greats of bygone Universal,
To the horrors of Hammer for your perusal,
The most fortunate thing is you're here to tread.
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
New LIMERICK Recruits, abound, like flies,
Writers, Old and New, establish firm ties,
Amid this variable thread,
We examine our heads,
Out-pouring our hearts, lest this thread dies!
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
THANKS, BROTHERS, IVAN & MAURICE,
... For Welcoming the Newbies!
... JEROSAUR, Glad, to have you, on-board! A Contributory Bon Mot, closer, to HAIKU, than LIMERICK; howe'er, Thou art welcome, to empty Thy brain, of such initial meanderings, as Ye warm-up, to the task, of producing LIMERICKS, like WOLF-BANE, in full Bloom!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jerosaur New Recruit * Posts: 8 Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #814 on: September 07, 2009, 06:40:43 AM »
Even a man who's pure in heart
and says his prayers at night,
is probably a wimp.
www.associatedcontent.com/article/2136503/best_halloween_movies_universally_speaking.html (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2136503/best_halloween_movies_universally_speaking.html)
.................................................................................
... Also, WELCOME, LastOfTheV8Interceptors!
New Recruit * Posts: 7
"What weird accident of science created it?!"
« Reply #816 on: September 08, 2009, 02:21:29 AM »
Limericks!
There once was a fella named Larry
Who was really more gentle than scary
But when wolf's-bane would bloom
Under light of the moon
He would get really creepy and hairy!
"We shall see that at which dogs howl in the dark, and that at which cats prick up their ears after midnight." - H. P. Lovecraft
... A stunning array, of Classic Monster-Kid knowledge, Literary depth, and weird science! More, as Ye please.
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Always good to see newcomers writing
Much better than when the Baron comes biting!
Wipe your feet on the doormat,
don't matter the format,
and stick around for more poetic frighting.
:o ~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
What could be more telling, than THE AUTUMNAL EQUINOX,
To miss its Meaning, is, to have BRAINS, like, a BOX, OF ROCKS,
ALL-HALLOWS'-E'EN, the Reason,
For our Spook-tacular Season,
Wherein, our IMAGINATION, like, DRACULA'S Castle, is UNLOCKED!
:o ~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
In honour of our late friend Meek,
We lost a friend and companion that week,
Yet we all agree it was her wit we miss,
As we always had to watch our P's and Q's what bliss,
Onwards we trod for limerick's witty and not too weak.
God bless Linda Miller you were truly one of us.
:-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-*
BELOVEDS, MEEK & MICHAEL THOMAS, of Our CLASSIC PUZZLE, MAJOR PIECES,
Like UNCLE FORRY, Whose FABLED STORY, Our MONSTER-TRIBE, INCREASES,
BEN CHAPMAN, Our Favourite CREATURE, "HOME, AT LAST!"
Along, with SARA'S "SPARKY"; SOULS, of THE HIGHEST CLASS,
With BORIS, BELA, LON & All, To Inhabit THE REALM-DIVINE, Where TRUE PEACE, IS!
:-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
In CASTLE DRACULA, THE COUNT spake, unto JONATHAN HARKER:
"In my veins flows Great Blood; of ATTILA, the Hun, &, The Berserker!"
"My Ancestry is War-like, of Olde,
Prized, more, than riches or gold -
With my Curse, I'm the Worst; yet, the best, of the devil's workers!"
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :D
DRAC, FRANK, and, WOLFIE, became, quite, CHUMMY;
They met, at DRAC'S Castle, for a game, of GIN RUMMY,
If points, they hoped, to score, some,
They knew, they'd need a Foursome,
Who'd they enlist? You guessed it... THE MUMMY!
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
HALLOWEEN is, once, again, set, to APPROACH;
THE MONSTERS arrive, by plane, or, by COACH,
VAMPIRES Fly, by NIGHT, ;)
When Traffic is, quite, LIGHT,
They stop, "FOR A BITE"; on Necks, Unsuspecting, ENCROACH!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
October is here at last
Though I hope the 31st ain't too fast
My planned celebration
Of this festive occasion
Is ideally a month-long repast
Tis the season to be jolly for our good Baron is going to marry,
We are all rejoicing even our friend depressedLarry,
May the day be joyous for both ,
As they take that marriage oath,
So come one come all and don't let anyone tarry.
When is the big day Tim, as I would like to wish both you and Elizabeth all the best for your forth coming marriage.
BELOVED BROTHERS, IVAN & MAURICE, & UMA FANG-MILY,
;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D
My "Plate" has, of late, been, quite, "over-full",
So many great People, and, Situations, to extol,
Yes, sent, from ABOVE,
My BETH, Life-long LOVE,
To confess, all; my Time's Use, still, is beyond, my control!
;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D
A full "CATCH-UP", by ALL-HALLOW'S-E'EN!
Stay Tuned! {'Cos, few, love you, when yer out o' tune!}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;)
OCTOBER has, ever, been my Most Special Month,
Comprised, mainly, o' a varied, influential, Bunch,
A Kaleidoscope, o' Special days,
In colours, vibrant, lacking greys;
B'DAYS: BELA'S, ST. FRANCIS & mine, packs, quite, a Punch!
;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
If Halloween sees the Baron on-line,
I'll know he's not in his right mind
For that day in his life
best be spent with his WIFE!
No matter how he might norm'ly be inclined
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
DEAR BORIS always said: "HALLOWEEN is my busy Season";
Like, Our Hero, so, too, me, for the very same Reason,
My Wife is most understanding,
My 31st Celebration, demanding;
Devoid, of Conflict, of Interest, I shan't be shot, for Treason!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
My LIMERICKS are bad, but, things could be worse, eh?
Not, adverse, to adding verse, in making my curse pay!
I'm, at least, a half-wit, with words,
So, some, are bound, to be turds,
Wot the hey! I'm old; still, bold, &, Friday is my 61st BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, #127, BELOVED, BELA LUGOSI!
I Pray, that your EVERNOW, turned, out, to be ROSY,
May the Gifted Talent, that you shared,
Grant you, GOD'S Blessing, squared,
From all evil, be spared, and, in HEAVEN, be cozy!
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Sixty-One! Surely you jest!
You couldn't be over Forty... 45 at best!
Unless you've warped time and space
(remember, we've met face to face)
You must have drank the elixir vitae; no jest!
A late Birthday wish for my friend,
(not paying attention - aGAIN!)
Of kindness a cup
I'll pour you - drink up!
I'll keep pouring til you say when.
Now lest we be fooling ourselves...
just eyeball the Halloween shelves.
What used to be scary
Now joyous and merry
and monsters have turned into elves.
I went to Micheal's last night
hoping to find some cheap frights
The clearance rack was lame
I've just myself to blame
for not going before the 31st was in sight
Ivan just what did you have in mind
for frightening things you to find?
I won't pretend
I have much to send
But to help you I'd be much inclined.
I was just looking for a set for my Halloween Village People
A new vampire castle or haunted church steeple
I won't be home on this month's 31st
so my decorum really couldn't be worse
No need for you to risk shipping costs so steep... el
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
Just a QUICK-LIME-rick note, o' BIRTHDAY THANKS;
I've been 'away', but, not, for my usual PRANKS,
My BELOVED BETH, is, EVERNOW, my BRIDE,
During Our WEDDING Ceremony, I CRIED;
The Day, prior, My BIRTHDAY, she gave me 62 SPANKS!
{"& 1, to grow on!" She said!}
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
ALL-HALLOW'S-E'EN; "Full Steam, Ahead!"
For our singular Celebration, of all things, Undead;
DRAC & FRANK & WOLFMAN, too,
MUMMY Dearest & Witch's Brew,
I feel the change - Oh, NOOOO! ARRRROOOOUUUUU!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Baron the Wolf, Beth the Bunny.
The glow of their Love warm and sunny.
So now Timothy,
repeat after me:
Yes Dear, Yes Dear, Coming Honey!
Please accept our lame e-congratulations to you both, comprised of bytes from the heart.
The Kolocs
It's midnight now, All Saint's Day starts
My Halloween passed like a stale dry fart
While Tim and Beth became man and wife
I spent another long day of my life
on a ship; sometimes this Navy thing smarts.
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
My Dear Brothers, PACKY PAUL & CRAZY IVAN,
HALLOWEEN'S passed, yet, we're, still, thrivin',
Services, of LOVE, truly, rendered,
Knits HEARTS, as ONE, Remembered,
No matter; time or distance; on boat or wivin'!
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o
THE HUNTER'S MOON rose, nights, ago,
Bathing the Earth, in her eerie glow,
Perplexed, like, your average Loon,
I flipped a coin: a} Howl, at the moon,
Or, b} As the Name implies, as a HUNTER, "grow"! ;)
:o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Baron, your suggestion to 'grow'
made me think of two ways that could go;
Growing LARGE is reserved for Amore
but growing UP would be such a bore
If you meant the latter; say it ain't so!
:-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D
BR'ER IVAN has suggestively offered two main routes:
For "GROW"; "AMORE", or, "UP", which he touts,
The obvious third,
Unspoken, concurred:
As a HUNTING WEREWOLF, Fur, Claws and Fangs, is what I'm about!
:-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
I never think of a lycanthrope's change
as growth, or as anything strange
I may get somewhat bigger
but I'm still me, I figure
just so long as I never get mange
I am so pleased that the baron and Beth are all a swoon,
It must be rough staring at the November Moon,
While waiting for the hunters to past,
When given the all clear run until you are aghast,
So don't you worry it will be over soon,
Then you will be as light as air like a new balloon.
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o
Ah, our Brother, TV HORROR, Wise Sage o' IRELAND,
Who contributes, mightily, ever willing, to TRY, AGAIN,
Our LIMERICK Cause, marches on,
Oft, with more Brain, than Brawn,
Cheering, BORIS, BELA and LON, from AREA 51, or, FIRE ISLAND!
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
Late November's Full Moon is waxing, once again,
Like Tummies, a-bustin', by Thanksgiving's end,
Our LIMERICK Gang is remiss,
For Obvious Puns; must be "off-List",
Howe'er, I persist, in HOWLLL-IDAY Sharing, wi' UMA FRIENDS!
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
"Whoever is bitten, by a WEREWOLF, & lives, becomes a WEREWOLF himself,"
Whoever is bitten, by SANTA'S Little Helpers, becomes an ELF himself,
The first option; Murderous,
The second; most Virtuous,
Since {Ahem - DRUMROLL, Please!} "the LORD ELFS those who ELFS themselves!"
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o
Winter's deluge has hit us, covered us, with tons, of snow,
Shifts shapes, familiar, now, lost, beneath their icy glow;
Transformed trees; frosting bedecked,
Images, by Currier and Ives, unchecked,
We know, that, Spring awaits - a mere 150 Days, to go!
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o
MERRIE CHRISTMAS
& a MOST HAPPY & SAFE HOLIDAY SEASON
& NEW YEAR, A.D. 2010, to OUR UMA FANG-MILY!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Although some members may be five and dimers,
I can't help feeling that some may be mimer's,
However like the immortal Kong,
During this holiday season we can't go wrong,
Gathering at conventions and sharing stories like a bunch of old timers.
All the very best to the forum members and seasons greetings to you Baron Tim and Beth. No, I have not forgotten 1van and Packy and the rest of group of rhymers for you are the very model of the above five and dimers.
;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-*
Whene'er I am down, and, require a lift,
Through these Limericks, I, oft-times, sift,
My Beloved Friends, of the UMA,
Whose past puns, "make my day",
Spurring me, onward, to add just one more Gift!
;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-*
Nearing 20,000 Reads, Gang; let's keep on keepin' on! MERRIE CHRISTMAS!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Unwillingly absent I've been....
Haven't rhymed since I don't know when.
But now that I'm back
On my wife's nifty Mac
I'll be spinnin' bad poems again.
8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8)
"MERRIE CHRISTMAS, To ALL", Moi UMA Greeting, ;D
Hope your Holiday's Glo-or-r-rious {albeit, quite, fleeting}; :'(
And, Welcome Back, SCATTER, :o
Both, Former, and, Latter, ::)
Keep on Cyber-Limericking, 'til, in the flesh, we'll be meeting! ;)
8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8) YULE 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Tis the season, to rejoin this thread
Though I'm sure most had hoped I'd be dead
I've been on the road all season
But that's not a good reason
To abandon my UMA friends
;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;)
We've arrived, once, again, at NEW YEAR'S EVE,
Still, MONSTER KIDS, who REJOICE and BELIEVE,
With LOVE, in the UNIVERSAL CLASSICS;
BORIS, BELA & LON - Thanks, for The MAGIC!
&, for SCATTER & IVAN, who give THIS Thread a REPRIEVE!
;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
WOWSERS! Now, Sirs {& Madams}, 'tis A.D. 2-Thousand & Ten!
A Blue Moon blew, out, the olde year, but, not, all, our Friends!
Celebrate & Cherish, our Legends, of Yore,
Reminiscences, to remember, Forevermore,
Their "Work" worked, for us, then, as well as, in this Millennium!
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
For this new year I wish you all happiness and health
This doesn't necessarily mean material means or wealth
Just give me more horror movies;
DEAD ALIVE (1992) was quite groovy --
The best film I've seen this year, if I say so myself
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;)
Two WERE-WOLVES wrote Limericks, quite oft,
With spry style, and, hats, which they doffed.
Keep, on, writing, they will,
Similar, to a VIAGRA Pill,
To "get a rise", from UMA Troops' Mental Exhaust.
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
"Getting a Rise" could still be controversial
Even knowing the Baron isn't being perversal
Vampires and zombies may rise from their graves
The Frankenstein's monster might rise up on stage
They all seem to rise; in fact it looks quite Universal
IN HONOUR, OF UNCLE FORRY, LINDA "MEEK" MILLER, & MIKE "YGOR" THOMAS
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
Since 'twas begun, this Creatively Wacky Thread hath spun,
From UMA Hearts & Bowels, LIMERICKS, of MONSTER PUNS,
A smattering, of less, than 300, more, reads,
Art needful, to make our Limericks succeed,
To the 20,000 Mark, by ST. PADDY'S DAY; let's continue our run!
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Two-Hundred and fifty more readers are needed
As the good Baron's has heart-felt pleaded
And it might be kinda nice
for some folks to visit us twice
Even so, it may take us a while, so please be seated
::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D
Brother IVAN, and, I, in reprise, will tell you no lies;
In our faces, the multiple pies, of Limericks gone by,
Fat-free, NUT-ricious; really, quite, Yummy,
Like diet Tana-Leaf Tea, to KHARIS, THE MUMMY,
Re-awaken your Pun-sense, with Ye Olde UMA College Try!
::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
175 is the remainder to meet
So come by for the tea; stay for the meet-n-greet
Will have groovy snacks
like brains... by the sacks!
So who wants something yummy to eat?
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
Our Bizarre UMA Topic: WARNING: IRISH LIMERICKS AHEAD,
Nearing its 2nd Anniversary, has 19,904 times, been read,
'Tis a UMA FANG-MILY Thing,
So, go on, take a wild fling;
We'll be entranced, as if, by DRACULA'S Ring, or, Hypnotic Eyes, UNDEAD!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
The new Wolf Man movie is coming this February
We're all looking forward to it, though it ain't our 'classic' Larry
The story has been altered
I hope the changes haven't faltered
But I know I'll see it, so long as it's hairy
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::)
DRACULA told FRANK, why, he decided, not, to tarry,
Lest, with full moon a'bloom, they "meet", with LARRY,
"'Tvas, back, in 1948, ven, last, ve met;
The trauma, of vich, remains, vith me, yet!
It drove me, bats; but, I haf no regrets; that DEAL, BIG & HAIRY!"
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
Magilla may be a gigantic gorilla,
But he ain't the size of Godzilla,
Now if only he took the odd wheat cake,
The crowds would be running for Pete's sake,
Instead he grossed out on ice cream filled with vanilla.
As for my werewolf friends keeping this thread alive.
I say well done for it could have taken a dive,
So feel glad to give a great big howl,
For us mere mortals have run somewhat fowl,
By missing our scratch of that irritating limerick hive
The limericks at the Army are fun.
I try to read every one.
There are so many.
you could
almost build a city,
there is l
there are plelent of mud for cement
Uncula
UMA Sun, Jan 24th, AD 2009 4:25 AM
Quote of the moment: My name's McDougal, now where are my shipments?
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
A & C MEET FRANKENSTEIN is a "Quote of the moment":
"My name's McDougal, now where are my shipments?"
A serendipitous nod,
To my previous Laud -
Cosmically Confluent; both, odd, and, quite, trenchant!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY THE BARON & BARONESS & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D
WOWSERS - And, Thanks; 'tis, just, like Olde Times!
TV HORROR, our Irish MAURICE, adding his rhymes!
With UNCULA, &, IVAN,
We're cookin', again,
MARCH 17th is a-looming, so, I'm sure, will our Friends!
;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Thank you Baron for the mention,
Considering I don't come with a pension,
So now I'm all a fluster,
Sitting here at home in Ulster,
Watching the thread with clenched fist tension.
Can't say I am much of a fan of this thread. I'll try my hand anyway. Something I came u[ with a bit over 30 years ago.
You lie in bed
you shake with fear
You see it's eyes
It's coming near
You scream in terror
You dread for your life
because of the Doll
with the butcher knife
That's just what I needed Lester as I go to bed,
You making up such a scary poem filled with dread,
Now all I'll have to do is wait another thirty years,
Before your creative juices again reduce me to tears,
So from this moment all my doll's will leave my dog well fed.
I don't only blame poor Lester's doll
Those creepy things sell in my local mall
All the toys are demonic
that you find at Hot Topic
So there's a plethora; we can't fight them all!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
Your Poem was, exceptionally, WICKED, LESTER,
DOLLS, WITH KNIVES! - Oh, please, don't TEST 'ER!
Better, to BUTCHER LIMERICKS, instead,
To fill our UMA Barracks, with dread,
We'll turn the beds, from head to head, then, sleep, with UNCLE FESTER!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Though we Fester I'd rather not sleep with 'im
Call me crazy but I prefer the Addams women
Morticia's a hottie
And Wednesday's just naughty
But Grandmama's the one I'd most likely be given.
(Though let's be honest, sleeping with COUSIN IT would be great for those cold winter nights)
:-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-*
Who'da thunk, with Readership, of over 20,000-Plus,
That, this Thread would Re-Birth, with Poems & Pus!
That, we'd revert, to High Gear,
For which I proclaim: "Hear, Hear!",
As we add, new LIMERICK Discourses, Digests, of Disgust!
:-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
While the Baron is going at it full steam,
With all this talk of pus and disgust I could scream,
Even while droolin at his foul limericks,
He has the touch of a master full of lame tricks,
Leaving us fiends to think that life is but a dream.
:D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D
TV HORROR is a UMA LIMERICK POET, of note,
I love the way his thoughts and words float,
So IRISH, his written "Voice",
Reminds me, of JAMES JOYCE;
I GRANT you, "ULYSSES", is his work, which I, GENERAL LEE, quote.
:D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
To be compared to James Joyce,
All I can do is quietly rejoice,
The baron doth honour me,
And I say right back at thee,
Before finding my lost rhyming voice.
When Renfield did the Borgo pass approach,
He was met at midnight by a large black coach,
Altough he was wary as a fly,
he could not pin point the reason why,
Is this Dracula's carriage but the driver was beyond reproach.
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
QUASIMODO, The Hunchback, had his "ups, and, downs",
Swinging, from gargoyle, to parapet, at Notre Dame,
Yet, no Clown, he; rather, Lover, supreme,
To win ESMERALDA'S Heart; Ah! His life's dream,
When she died, his valiant heart broke; in tears, he drown.
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The largest, brightest full moon of the year
that will be seen in this hemisphere
was in the sky Saturday night
but the snow clouds obscured it from sight
and instead of a werewolf, I looked like a yeti, I fear!
Poor Ivan missed his wolfish calling,
By the clouds filled with snow falling,
Not to be undone he proved ready,
By becoming instead a growling yeti,
Such is the UMA spirit to go a mauling.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
The Full Moon, arising, fills me, with dread,
For, Change, I must, sure, as blood is red.
Yet, when, in Arctic climate,
I transform, into Primate,
With 6 months leeway, "Not, YET!" I Said!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROBERT TAYLOR!
-----------------------------------
;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :)
Herein, I salute, our Dear Brother, UMA ELDER, ROBERT TAYLOR,
The greatest thing, since sliced white bread, or, e'en, NORMAN MAILER,
Sage, of multiple talents, I know,
Oft, with SARA KARLOFF, in tow,
Their Bond is so strong, that, I know, he won't, ever, fail her!
;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Like all things uninvited I fear the ghost,
Creaking floorboards in an empty house the most,
While bumps in the night gives one a good fright,
I always end up searching first to the left and then to the right,
But nothing is there or is there unseen that I can fearfully boast.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
We prevent the LIMERICK Thread's slide, too far, down this List,
With HAUNTING refrains, replayed, a GHASTLY, Perpetual KISS;
Whether, RENEVANT Instances, of Clever WIT,
Or, Halved, unmitigated pieces, of s--t;
Like the GHOST, mentioned, above, DOOMED, to, NEVERMORE, Quit!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
In honour of Lon Chaney junior.
Poor misbegotten canis Lupus beast,
Cry as you must at the moons feast,
Run free while your hairy feet can,
And don't blow a fuse as dynamo Dan.
Just sit back and let that change effect you least.
Though a holiday weekend I'll grapple
with traffic as I hit the Big Apple
Already bought my ticket
For the MOMA Tim Burton Exhibit
which I suspect I'll like better than Snapple(tm)
;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::)
Br'er IVAN - TIM BURTON you say? I want my MOMA!
BEETLEGEUSE, A very enchanting Comedic Drama,
Which my Bride & I watched, tonight,
TIM directed; quite, the frightful sight!
His later DEPP-th, LEE-way, askew - a wonderful WONKA!
;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Tim Burton is a director those style I can follow,
Even when the Wonka child blew up like a large mallow,
Casting Christopher Lee yet again as somewhat sinister,
And giving us Beetlejuice in need of a wedding minister,
Yet my favorite by far is his brilliant Sleepy hollow.
Good luck on your trip Ivan and don't forget to buy a programme as a memento of this wondrous visit.
:o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o
Poor DR. JEKYLL, alas, was, in, quite, a pickle,
His "experiment", Scientific, proved, quite, fickle;
With no one, to confide in,
Whilst, as HYDE, he was hidin',
When HYDE died, JEKYLL'S Genius wasn't worth a plugged Nickel!
:o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
While the baron has left my Hyde reeling,
Poor doctor Jekyll can't help feeling,
That there are more things in life than a potion,
Even though nightly it might lead to a motion,
Which could be embarrassing for a man sheding and peeling.
I indeed enjoyed my Manhattan trip
Though the weekend was spent all in Newark, where I slept
On Monday we saw the MOMA exhibit
I thought the art and film props were exquisite!
Through Tim Burton's brain I now feel like I have crept!
And since Maurice brought up Mister Hyde
I'll jump on his bandwagon and ride
In Manhattan we were too late for brunch
But we ate at the JEKYLL & HYDE CLUB for Lunch
Not 4 blocks from the MOMA; what's to decide?
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
21,000 hits, to this thread, now, in sight,
Frivolous foolishness, the UMA'S blight,
LIMERICKS RULE,
As a Tool, for Fooles,
So, Ghosties and Ghoulies, please, write one, tonight!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I am not a ghostie nor a ghoulie but I am on site,
Now if you're talking about a Hyde or a seek then sit tight,
Because my better evil half is full of sharp wit,
So just remember to avoid my tongue's remit,
And you'll be safe from my rather nasty bite.
Maurice has a bite that's worse than his bark
That may be why I never hide in Hyde Park
The British Isles are featured
in many a movie with creatures
So beware if you're out after dark!
I knew a man who was a ghoul
The thought of dead flesh would make him drool
His eyes would light up,he'd shiver and shake.
And wonder whether to fry... or use Shake and Bake.
My ghoul friends all prefer to eat
raw flesh; they think it savory meat
They say cooking kills the flavor
and it's the freshness they savor
Except when it comes to the feet
Crack that bone ,break that head
Beat little brother til he's dead
Throw him in the oven and turn it to bake
Be sure to make room for, the fudge ripple cake
Poor little brother shore wuz sweet
The best little brother we ever did eat
The only sour part was a big red blister
Come the next holiday we'll have lil sister >:D
This was actually an entry in a childs magazine that we got back in 60's Catholic school.
Go figure. chain_saw ggege 8j68j68ju
I think that I have heard it all,
Lester was twisted in the school hall,
Even as a cute little nipper.
He found himself quite chipper,
Reciting this gore as I throw up against the nearest wall.
P.S Well done on the 900th post Ivan.
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::)
NINE HUNDRED Posts hath IVAN wrote;
Mostly, I suspect, whilst aboard a boat;
This Whipper-Snapper's MAD WIT is clipped,
{IVAN wrote them, on a CLIPPER-SHIP,}
So, I say, "HIP,HIP!", as I lock you, in our Asylum's coat!
NINE HUNDRED Posts hath IVAN writ,
Deftly, more, than doubled mine own Half-Wit;
He puts the "Loop", in Loupe Garou,
Dices up victims, for his nightly stew,
Similar, to his LIMERICK Hunger - He just won't quit!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I hadn't even noticed the count of the post
I just thought Maurice deserving a roast
so I called him by name
and I lent him the blame
For all of the Brittainy ghosts
::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
'Tis, again, the month, o' EIRE'S Ghosts,
Good ST. PADDY'S DAY, and, all, it boasts,
Our LIMERICK Legend continues, on,
The UMA is filled, with LEPRECHAUNS,
So, to our Brother, MAURICE, I make this Toast!
::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
MY BELOVED BRIDE, BETH,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heaven kissed Earth, when I met you,
Because you Married me, I've found Love, that is True,
Your Birth, to me, is a Most Significant Day,
I Pray, that, You Be Blessed, in every way;
May GOD, WHO IS HEAVEN, Breathe you JOY, EVERNOW,
As We share our Lives, may HIS Bliss, Untold,
Hold Us, and, Keep Us, in HIS State, of Wonderful WOW!
HAPPY SIXTH BIRTHDAY, because 51 is 5+1!
In ALL LOVE,
Your 7-year old Husband,
TIMMY, B.G.G.
I would like to add my birthday wishes to Beth,
Although Timmy broke the cardinal rule by her age say-th,
Now he will be in the doghouse,
sent to bed feeling like a lousy louse,
But not to worry it's not like his unwanted weekly bath.
Best wishes Beth on your special day and congratulations on finding such a loving husband. Tim I'll give you my address later for the money order, brownie points don't come cheap you know.
Sadly I missed out on wishing Beth well
Her birthday has already passed; twice night fell
I cannot stress enough how much joy
I wish for her and her loving Tim-boy
As a couple I think they both are pretty darn swell
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
To IVAN & MAURICE, our most gracious "THANKS",
In our book, your Loving LIMERICKS, "First-Rate", ranks;
So, to WEREWOLF, &, HYDE,
With gentle pride, we confide,
That, our LOVE shall abide, &, ne'er, deride, your poetic pranks!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;) ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;)
COUNT DRACULA was wooing his latest Bride,
Kissing her neck, he pulled her, close, to his side,
"I'm bats, for you, girl!",
"You're my Priceless Pearl!",
"Throughout our UNDEAD World, I'll show you, off, with Pride!"
;) ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Mummy found a new woman, too
and her hand he now wanted to woo
So he wrote her a verse
That turned into a curse
because sadly, that's all that he knew
Brilliantly succinct, Br'er IVAN!
Another fine submission, as we near the LIMERICK Thread's 2nd Anniversary, as Inaugurated, by PACKY PAUL, on March 17, 2008, 06:30:32 AM!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
IMHOTEP invited KHARIS, for a cup, of TANA LEAF TEA,
To recount, all, their trials, over what they'd hoped, to be;
As Ankh-es-en-amon's Lover,
ARDATH lost, to another,
Whilst KHARIS never succeeded, as Princess Ananka's "Honey"!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Even Godzilla is Irish on St Patrick's day with his wearing of the green,
All during the year he stomps poor Tokyo with many fleeing the scene,
Squash goes another victim under foot,
But do you think that the big guy gives a hoot,
No he is more worried about a monster sized pint with its frothy cream.
Happy St Patrick's day my fellow Limerick rhymers.
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
"BRAVO!" IRISH MAURICE, for your marvelous ST.PADDY'S DAY Quip;
Combining GODZILLA, with It, shows, that, "You're Sharp, As A Whip!"
Two years have gone, by,
No sign, of our "running dry",
UMA-ers, please, comply, as JERRY GARCIA said, in this "LONG, STRANGE, TRIP!"
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
A leprechaun bit me last year
And now I have much to fear
For I turn into an imp,
a rhyming green shrimp
every time that I drink a green beer
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
IVAN'S LIMERICK STREAK, never, QUITS,
Impeccably MAD, he doth BLITZ;
We're LUCKY, that IVAN is here,
Even, with his Keg, o' Green Beer,
Giving this THREAD Billions, of HITS!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-*
SPRING is sprung, ST. PATRICK'S is done,
Howling late flurries, of snow, on my lawn,
One day melts, into another;
Better, with BETH, as my Lover,
Her Presence Blesses my Life; making it more FUN!
:-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'(
COUNT DRACULA encountered THE WOLF MAN;
Said, to HAIRY LARRY: "I'm your Biggest Fan!"
LARRY tried, to take a bite,
THE COUNT flew, out, of sight,
LIKE A BAT, OUT, OF HELL, The MEATLOAF was Grand! :-[
;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-[ Is That a VAMPIRE, or just a FLYING NON-SEQUITOR - or, a savvy Marketing Ploy!?
Mob rule is an ugly thing and something I can't abide,
Why these people go along for a ride,
Haven't they heard that it's rude,
To bring their touches and intrude,
When the Frankenstein's monster is only after a spring bride.
The Universal Monster Army is a bloody awful lot
And as one of its sergeants I'm a lousy drunken sot
But I'd rather be surfing to this place
than twitting the finest people of cyberspace
Just so long as we have Terry to call the shots
Renfield found the courage to break Dracula's choke,
However it cost him his life with his neck broke,
He defended Mina from his life sucking grasp,
By trying to grapple with a vampire with his last gasp,
With his life ended Renfield let go of the fiends dreaded cloak.
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
'Tis, again, my Friends, Ye Day, O' APRIL FOOLS,
Rung, in, by QUASIMODO, as The Lord, Of Misrule,
"Normal folks" rue this Day;
UMA-ers come, out, to play,
'Til April 30th becomes May 1st, for WALPURGIS Ghouls!
:o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
When it comes to poetry surely I'm the worst
and that's why I should be crowned king of this April 1st
When I try to make jest
I'm always a pest
And I can't even write a good limerick!
Being in the company of fellow rhymers I can emulate.
Both Ivan and the Baron I like to postulate,
As I thoroughly enjoyed the photo's from the convention,
And seeing the faces put to forum favorites was a great intention,
So this little limerick is dedicated to the unknown primate.
The talent in this group won't cease
It brings me a kind of peace
I won't hesitate
That limerick was great
And I thank you so much, Maurice!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
UNKNOWN PRIMATE, I, now, count you, amongst my oldest Fans,
For, as a Wee Tyke, enjoying my Show, when it, originally, ran,
When we met, at HORRORHOUND, in person,
You offered praise, instead, of cursin',
May our UMA Brotherhood continue, to deepen, for Honoured, I am!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Tis now the third day, and he arose from the grave
But he ain't no vampire, so try to behave
not some werewolf or zombie
in soiled Abercrombie
He's Jesus, back to ensure we get saved
HAPPY EASTER!
No limerick from me, this time, but just wanna say, thanks to the Baron! That was very cool! And to that ol' Craziest Of Ivans - that was AWESOME!
Quote from: Unknown Primate on April 05, 2010, 11:45:22 AM
No limerick from me, this time, but just wanna say, thanks to the Baron! That was very cool! And to that ol' Craziest Of Ivans - that was AWESOME!
Thank YOU, Prime Time! Always glad to see our efforts are appreciated.
UNKNOWN PRIMATE,
What IVAN said! DITTO! ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
>:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:(
This Spring's weather is blustery and damp;
Stifling, in my close quarters, quite, cramped,
Drenched, like a Primeval Squid,
I throw, open, my coffin lid,
To wring, out, my soggy cape ruins this Vampire's vamp!
>:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
It is rumored that he is hundreds of years old,
but it is starting to tell with the Baron truth be told,
While he is quite free with his wit in fact,
I've noticed of late he is showing less tact,
Now it seems that I was right from wolf to vamp and now the cold.
In many a folklore and mythology
What seperates wolf from vamp is frivolity
To most ancient to medieval peoples
they were so similar it gives me the creep-les
Distinguishing between the two breeds of monster is mostly ideology
*****
Seriously, check out this passage from Wikipedia's article on <A HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vrykolakas/">
Greek Vampires:</A>
Etymology
The very word vrykolakas is a cognate with a Lithuanian language word vilkolakis meaning the werewolf ('vilko-' means a wolf and 'lakis' means running). In Slavic languages it is variously occurring as , vǎrkolak, as in Bulgarian, vukodlak, as in Serbian, etc. The term is derived from вълк (vâlk)/вук (vuk), meaning "wolf" and dlaka, meaning "fur", and originally meant "werewolf" (it still has that meaning in the modern Slavic literary languages, and a similar one in Romanian: see vârcolac). However, the same word (in the form vukodlak) has come to be used in the sense of "vampire" in the folklore of Western Serbia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and Montenegro (while the term "vampir" is more common in Eastern Serbia, Republic of Macedonia and in Bulgaria). Apparently, the two concepts have become mixed.[1] Even in Bulgaria, original folklore generally describes the vârkolak as a sub-species of the vampire without any wolf-like features.[2] It may also be noted that the Sanskrit word for wolf is vṛ́k (commonly pronounced as vrik).
Crazily Ambiguous Ivan
It must be catching as Ivan too is confused,
He does not know whether to howl or be transfused,
What he can do is look up the net,
So while he is looking for a knowledge mindset,
He is left in two minds but for our Hyde club he is refused.
As president of the Two minds club, I could pass judgement for a fee.
hint hint!
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
Oh, NO! My horrible, ancient, secret is out!
TV HORROR revealed, I'm a two-faced lout!
He took, to task, IVAN,
For his VAMP/WEREWOLF Jivin',
I'd HYDE, too, but, if the FEE ain't FREE, I'll SHOUT!
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
:-* EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
If having a split monster personality
Still leaves me out of the Hyde Club, then naturally
I'll add Frankenstein's Creature
For a mental Triple Feature
Maybe then I'll get invited, finally!
In olden times it was all the rage to fill your purse,
So it was off to Egypt's fair land to loot,
At first there were experts before they got the boot,
They too had wounds that they could nurse,
But the tombs resident stubbed his toe and gave a loud mummy's curse.
Maurice wrote about the Mummy's Curse
but he when he read the heiroglyphics
the effects were simply terrific
His newly composed limerick verse
had the whole rhyming scheme in reverse
That was harder that I thought it would be
There must be something perverse
about writing limericks in reverse
But on Bizarro-World it would be
A matter of fact; just too easy
Me not mad Ivan, me too smart for own good. On Bizzarro World me called Joyce James.
Now there's a word you don't hear often,
Ivan using ancient texts for my heart to soften,
Nay my lad you need to go into the high specifics,
Before I learn to use those hieroglyphics,
For even one as dumb as me knows don't rattle a mummy's coffin.
Too true my friend, you're more cautious than that
You don't disturb mummies or vampire bats
But you did swallow a trickle
of that drink from Dr Jekyll
So you could probably stomp Kharis flat
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
TV HORROR possesses wit, brains and brawn,
If Trouble comes, you'll, wisely, find him, gone;
No, never, not, out, of fear,
Just, to the Pub, to buy more beer,
To "liquor up" the onslaught, of ZOMBIE LEPRECHAWNS!
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
:-* EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Now I am as proud as a farmyard rooster,
Strutting my stuff from the baron's Limerick booster,
So while my head swims round and fills,
I can be found on the floor right under the bar's tills,
For I am an Irishman not a poor man's Bertie Wooster.
;) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
This UMA ARMY is Awesomely Great;
For, here, one can find so many Mates!
These Limericks are global,
And, not, unlike, a snowball,
Whose chances, in hell, are, best, left, to Fate! :-[
;) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
:-* EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Silence is golden and such a treat,
Yet writing these limericks is such a feat,
Onwards and upwards,
We are never short of words,
For it is my pleasure to meet and greet.
I just watched two Paul Naschy movies
made in the 70s, their soundtracks were groovy
I saw him play werewolf, slasher, and the Devil
appearing with zombies, vampires, all quite evil
His filmography's comnparable to Chaney's... but with more boobies!
Chaney may not have had the odd boob,
But his films made up for that on the TV tube,
Long gone are his phantom and hunchback,
Even during the afternoon as I munch from my lunchpack,
I took the time to enjoy his legacy via my living room cube.
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on April 25, 2010, 06:42:44 PM
;) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
This UMA ARMY is Awesomely Great;
For, here, one can find so many Mates!
These Limericks are global,
And, not, unlike, a snowball,
Whose chances, in hell, are, best, left, to Fate! :-[
;) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
:-* EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
That was extra cool, Baron! These are ALL so cool, I think they should all be in a special UMA Limerick Compilation book!
I get so excited listening to our own hairy gorilla,
Thats why we are like boats in a flotilla,
We depend on each other,
For thats why we even bother,
And gather together under the UMA umbrella.
P.S
I'm all for the limerick's being published and the proceeds going into the UMA fund, great idea Unknown Primate. Although you might have some trouble from you know who? (Tim) I've heard that he can be a bit tight. In fact I don't know if this is true or not but I even heard it said that he even charges the moths for living in his wallet!
tv horror writ:
P.S. ~ I'm all for the limerick's being published and the proceeds going into the UMA fund!
Great idea, Unknown Primate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear UP,
... Capital Idea, for raising additional TOY TOUR CAPITAL!
If we sold copies, of our Limerick book, in Washington, it would be a CAPITOL IDEA!
TV HORROR is a Genius...
`````````````````````````````````````
Although you might have some trouble from you know who? (Tim) I've heard that he can be a bit tight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm TIGHT, only, when I drink... I mix OIL, into my Alcohol, so, that, I don't SQUEAK!
`````````````````````````````````````
In fact I don't know if this is true or not but I even heard it said that he even charges the moths for living in his wallet!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, ENTIRELY TRUE! And, they are, only, too happy, to pay!
Otherwise, they end up as MOTH SOUFFLE!
````````````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8)
I agree, with UP & TV: we should compile a book,
Of our Limerick Madness, so, that, others may look,
To see, that, the UMA,
Is no work, &, all play;
Creating, more, MONSTER KIDS, who'll "Give Us THE HOOK"!
8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8)
Didn't we discuss this idea once before?
Picking the best poems; not too easy a chore
While the books probably wouldn't sell;
I'd try it anyway, what the hell.
But since all our efforts are this bad, we may need some more
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
Amongst my most favourite, of modern inventions,
Is the concept, known, as HORROR CONVENTIONS,
Delighted, to attend them, since AD 2002,
By now, I've racked up, more, than a few;
Money, or, free time, might fail me, but, not, my intentions!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~ :o
It escaped my notice: WALPURGIS-NACHT!
BORGO PASS, at sunset, we set our clocks;
From April 30th, unto May 1st;
When evil spirits do their worst -
DRACULA'S DEMETER reaches England's docks.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I had the good fortune tonight,
Of witnessing a most wonderful sight,
It was late evening that I beset,
A mountain range's Sunset,
What a fitting end to Walpurgis night.
I rather enjoyed this night of Walpurgis
For this year it marked the end of my service
No longer the villain
I'm now a civilian
Seems I made the military too nervous
:o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'(
A RASH LIMERICK, ABOUT... A SHRUBBERY!
------------------------------------------------
Ambushed, by a PLANT, in my own Backyard;
I'm BRANDED, with its POISONOUS "Calling-Card"!
No, not, BIT, by a nasty, Alien, TRIFFID,
Nor, even, *gasp* KATHY GIFFORD;
This CREEP, by Creeping IVY, was BIT, HARD!
:o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D
BR'ER IVAN: FROEHLICHE WALPURGIS-NACHT!
As, Over-Board, &, Ashore, E'ermore, Thou'lt WALK,
'Tis ADMIRABLE, to behold Thou, WILLIN',
To eschew Thy Career, o' Nautical SWILLIN',
&, Take, to LAND {1/3 less Fillin'}; We're glad you've DOCKED!
::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D
Now, Thou art a LUBBER, not, a FIGHTER!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
He decided to do something quite rash,
He flew into the garden in a flash,
Now he is suffering from a irritating itch,
Which I know never came from Hazel the witch,
So all's well and good so long as he keeps doing the monster mash.
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
When DRACULA decides, to play a Fiendish Joke, >:D
He embeds Poison Ivy oil, into his Great Cloak, ;)
Then, turning, into a mist, ::)
He wafts, by local Allergists, :o
Leaving them, scratching, as, into Hives, they've broke! :'(
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
BREAKING 23,000 Readership! Hip-Hip-HooCoffinRay!!!
:) have a nice day :) have a nice day :) have a nice day :) have a nice day :-*
Having been read 22985 times, now, these 65 pages,
Have seen our UMA Troops, through so many stages,
LIMERICKS, literally, litter our year,
Leaking, out, of orifices: i.e., our ears,
Quelling our tears & fears, with cheers, sneers, jeers... & rages!
:) have a nice day :) have a nice day :) have a nice day :) have a nice day :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8)
23,000 and 10; we've done it, again!
Onward and upwards, my UMA FRIENDS;
These can't, all, be gems,
Like FRANKIE, or, THEM!
Our LIMERICK Thread seems, to be, without end!
8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Baron is right our limerick's hit the right tone,
I have often heard it mentioned without one groan,
However it has been compared to a trainwreck,
Try to look away but some are still pulled back,
So here's to a 23,000 more although some members will moan.
:D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D
This SUMMER'S Heat is a-comin' on;
Lounge, around, on CHANEY'S LON,
This Season's heat is COOL,
THE CREATURE ain't no Fool,
Diving, into THE BLACK LAGOON'S Pool, He's gone!
:D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
With Summer comes this year's Wonderfest
This Louisville show put the UMA to the test
When they set up next week's exhibit
I hope my schedule doesn't prohibit
me from popping up and wishing my best
(and lending a hand, like the rest)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
HORRORHOUND was, such, a BLAST, ;D
Now, WONDERFEST is a-comin', FAST! ;)
Summer CONVENTIONS, underway; :)
Looking, forward, night and day, 8)
They're "Future", now, yet, too, soon, "PAST"! :'(
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Hoping to send poor Stephen Orlac to his doom,
Lorre played doctor Gogol as a would be groom,
For even a wax statue failed to impress,
So he as the recently executed Rollo did dress,
He failed proving that the pen is mightier than the sword we assume.
:o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o
Wouldst, that, We'd been able, to Pilgrimage, to WONDERFEST,
My Bride, BETH, and, I, should have counted, ourselves, Twice-Blest!
Instead, a local Murder Mystery,
Had us switch our usual History,
Alas, We missed CREEPY JEFF & GENERAL TERRY, As Breakfast Guests!
:o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
"Unconditionally replete, with Hideous Idiocy,
Malevolently rife, with Fiduciary Perfidies,"
COUNT DRACULA commented, to the Assembly,
O' MONSTERS, who required some assembly,
Makes this LIMERICK an Excruciating Oddity!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :)
WALPURGIS-NACHT is, once, again, over - BUMMER!
Now, we speed, onward, to the First Day, o' SUMMER;
I treasure the Summers, of Yore,
When I learned MONSTER-KID Lore,
Like THOREAU, I know, that, I March, To A Different Drummer.
:) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
How can I have missed this thread?
Its the best thing since sliced bread!
Why moan about re-makes and sequels?
Write a daft poem instead.
Quote from: long live kong on May 23, 2010, 03:57:10 PM
How can I have missed this thread?
Its the best thing since sliced bread!
Why moan about re-makes and sequels?
Write a daft poem instead.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :P
At the Above Offering- "NEW BLOOD!" Yelled DRAC;
Beside himself, with Sanguine Frenzy, at this fact;
"This new guy's a Brute,
But, Bloody Cute,
I'll pick up his scent... and, Hey! He leaves BIG TRACKS!"
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :P
A Formal Velcome, to LONG LIVE KONG! ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Obie was a man who made a king, and a simian king was he
The king met a maiden and they hit it off, but it didn't end happily.
Someone said, as the king lay dead, "it was beauty killed the beast"
It wasn't the bullets, nor the planes or the fall, that gave poor Kong eternal peace.
~~~~~~~~~~~
You dont have to be a master of words,
Nor a descendant of Robert Burns,
To string some words, and make them rhyme,
Or some that dont from time to time.
It matters not if your young or old,
Man or woman, frog or toad.
Open your mind and reach inside,
The words are there for you to find!
Quasimodo was so impressed you deserve a ding dong,
For it's not often we get fresh blood or I could be wrong,
It takes neither rhyme nor reason for a posting,
As the only thing you should care about is the odd roasting,
So welcome aboard and all together we proclaim long live Kong.
To TV horror and Baron Timotheus,
Your hospitality has left me touched.
It's early morning and I'm late for work,
So my Poetry isn't up to much.
It's nice to feel that I belong
Unlike old Frankie, Wolfie and Kong.
So without further hesitation;
I humbly accept your invitation.
For letting me join your monstrous ranks,
I offer my sincerest thanks! thrhrt
:-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-*
Not, only, is our New KONG a LONG LIVER;
Possessing a GREAT HEART, He's a GIVER,
Taking time, out, of his DAY,
To create, with words, &, PLAY,
Intuits our LIMERICK Truth: "Up the Paddle, without a RIVER!" *
* Wot?! You mean this Dried-Up STREAM O' CONSCIOUSNESS? ;)
Are YOU CRAZY???!!! ::)
:-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
My girlfriend is a lovely lass,
And pretty, I don't mind boasting.
But I've made a promise to take her out,
So I shouldn't really be posting.
But alas my friends I could not resist,
So while she's in the bath,
I thought I'd sneak a crafty peek,
And risk her womanly wrath.
For it may lack the warmth of a human hand,
Where you cant meet face to face,
But if your a fan of Ghost's and Ghoul's,
There is no better place!! ..............................................Long Live The UMA!!
Your gal was bathing in the tub
And you chose to sneak a peek here, at the club?
I'm not endorsing porn
but beware a woman scorned
You may need to prioritize, bub!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
My beloved girl was in the bath,
But alas, was not alone.
Our baby daughter was with her too,
Enjoying the ducks and foam.
And though a child will bring you joy,
And happiness you cannot buy,
They tend to take up all your time,
And can even cause a sigh.
Of course Crazy1van, you are quite right,
And your words have taken root,
For too much time in the UMA,
And she may give me the boot. :-\ :-\ :-\
I understand your quandry, I've two kids of my own
Of course it's different for me now; they both are fully grown
But yes they took up lots of time
back then I rarely stopped to rhyme
Now I watch monsters whenever I wish; they've moved out of my home!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
The Wit & Wisdom offered, here, I value, as being Real, :-*
My FANG-MILY'S Loving insights, of how they think & Feel; :)
Revealing their depth & scope, I'm glad, ;D
To enjoy My CLASSIC MONSTERS Comrades, ;)
& The Humour, that, as ICONS - We're a Bunch, of BIG, HAIRY, DEALS! :D
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Well its Saturday and its began to rain,
And the weatherman says it will remain.
I wanted to have a barbecue,
But soggy sausage just will not do.
So what to do this afternoon?
A game of poker or a round of pool?
Well we didn't have to think for long,
A monster movie marathon!
8j68j68ju je7u6ker6 thrhrt u6juu
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
I, now, present a LIMERICK, which might inspire a "GONG!"
For I've wrapped it, in the Title, of a Popular '80's SONG;
Woven, into it, an Honourable Reference,
Of a Sr. Actor, who's my Preference...
Imagine JOE COCKER, Singing: "LOVE LIFT US, UP, WHERE WE BE LON"!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
If the monsters where around today, and had a favourite sport,
I imagine Frankenstein shooting hoops, and tearing up the court.
In the boxing ring the Wolfman howls, and swings a padded claw,
The Mummy doesn't stand a chance, and the crowd lets out a roar.
Dracula is more refined, and is different from the rest,
He isn't fond of exorcise, but loves a game of chess!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;)
COUNT DRACULA is a Poet, and, Poets love, to Rhyme;
My fav quote, by DRAC: "So many necks; so little time!"
Of course, his erudition,
Set his path, to Perdition,
Yet, that "Needful Art", of his, by others, would be called a crime!
;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
If a Zombie outbreak came to be,
and the world was overrun,
I've often thought, in a twisted way,
that it might be lots of fun.
Where the law of the land is to survive,
With bat and gun and wit,
Where your best chance is to stay alert,
and keep your body fit.
Of course at times, it would be horrific,
And difficult to take,
to have a loved one die in your arms,
then suddenly awake.
But give me a world of undead hoards,
and redneck gang attacks,
than a life of work and shopping malls,
government and tax!!
Zombie Grin Zombie Blush Zombie Confused Zombie LOL Zombie Nuetral Zombie No Smile Zombie Roll Eyes
Dracula's daughter was certainly no old bat,
For as soon as I witnessed her my heart she got,
Here was a natural beauty,
Who to woo was my sworn duty,
Never mind her fangs I wanted us to chew the fat.
;D BRILLIANT LIMERICK, MAURICE, OLDE FRIEND!
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
Our Resident IRISHMAN, TV HORROR, t'wouldst seem,
Is a CLASSIC MONSTER-Man o' Very Bold Dreams;
A Brave Heart, he's, unafraid, to dally,
With VAMPIRE Ladies - Right up his Alley!
Such an image left me, laughing, 'til I burst, at the seams!
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I have spent the last hour reading this thread,
I laughed so hard I almost lost my head,
Nothing feels better when logging on,
Than seeing in 'posts unread'..
Warning: Irish Limericks ahead!
God bless you limericking fools!!!
Quote from: long live kong on June 05, 2010, 08:04:45 AM
I have spent the last hour reading this thread,
I laughed so hard I almost lost my head,
Nothing feels better when logging on,
Than seeing in 'posts unread'..
Warning: Irish Limericks ahead!
God bless you limericking fools!!!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
True, to form, our Limerick Forum RULES,
24,000+ Readers, Goblins and Ghouls;
LONG LIVE KONG sums, up, Best,
What we'd hope, from the Rest,
That, our word-Play, creates a most tasty GRUEL!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Tis was beauty that killed the beast, so answer me this? Why is the Baron still posting Limericks! 2400+ there must be an awful lot of sick people about and I must confess that I am one of them, correction make that two seeing that I am in two minds.
Speaking of most comely wenches,
There is many to be found in the trenches,
Covered in mud or for matter blood,
You could always tell a bath from a flood,
But nothing beats those buttock clenches.
:o TV HORROR Writ: "But nothing beats those buttock clenches." ;)
Sounds, like, the answer, to a ZEN KOAN: " What's the sound, of one hand, clapping?"...
8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8)
The VAMPIRE'S curse: unable, to enter, uninvited, >:(
He knocked, but, was turned, away; felt slighted; :'(
So, he tried his olde romantic charms, >:D
They brought him, no good, only, harm, :o
He escaped, withered, blighted; with Hopes, unrequited! :-[
8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D
THE MUMMY was maudlin, over losing his Love,
So many centuries, elapsed, with him, out, of the groove;
Still, no dummy, he,
To set her Mummy, free,
He'd kill her current incarnation, but, she didn't approve!
:D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
Number 996
~~~~~~~~~
Keeping, alive{?}, this LIMERICK Thread,
Requires new material, about THE UNDEAD,
Fresh BLOOD must be added,
To quaff, what we've padded,
With motifs, of re-cycled puns, previously, read!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
Number 997
~~~~~~~~~~~~
COUNT DRACULA thought, that, our Limericks sucked;
"They're, no, kin, to me, their teeth are, too, bucked!"
Still, with appetite, hearty,
He read them, like, a party;
Declaring, as he finished: " That Von WOLFSTEIN is a schmuck!"
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
Number 998
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ELECTRODES breathed, into THE MONSTER, Life;
Yet, in doing, so, bequeathed him, only, strife,
His Face, and, his Form,
So, reviled, and, forlorn,
Turned, out, to be the reason, that, He "blew, up" his "Wife".
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
--- Sounds, like, one, of those inflatable jobs.
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
Number 999
~~~~~~~~~~~
Our Serendipitous Reign, as True MONSTER KIDS,
Embraces a UNIVERSAL Network, of Various IDS,
With, so much, Love, and, Talent,
As well as Courage, quite, valiant,
Keeps us Loving THE CLASSICS, as, much, as we, ever, did!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
NUMBER 1000
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LIMERICK 1000! As a Punster, I just couldn't resist;
For my copping this Title, please, don't be pissed,
Who'd have believed it, as "Inevitable",
As PACKY PAUL grew our first "rotten vegetable",
That, 999 Limericks, later, The MUSE, our Brains, still, kissed!
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-[ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-[
Number 1001
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LON CHANEY, SR., "THE MAN, OF A THOUSAND FACES"
Left, to Posterity,a Career, of Remarkable Graces;
Our LIMERICKS' Deformity,
Shows, off, our Enormity,
Of 1000 Bold Faces, of Remarks and Disgraces!
:-[ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Something awoke count Drac with a start,
It wasn't the sun,
Or a stake through the heart,
He'd dreampt of a man lurking in the mist,
Dr. Extactor, the great dentist!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
cl:)
thrhrt
LONG LIVE KONG writ: "Dr. Extactor, the great dentist!'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
:-X ~~~~ :-X ~~~~ :-X ~~~~~ :-X ~~~~ :-X ~~~~ :-X ~~~~ :-X
The Arcane Tooth-Puller, above, mentioned,
Believed, that, with an ounce, of prevention,
He'd save any denture,
From untimely censure,
So, "YANK", 'E go, HOME, from MONSTER CONVENTIONS!
:-X ~~~~ :-X ~~~~ :-X ~~~~~ :-X ~~~~ :-X ~~~~ :-X ~~~~ :-X
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Timotheus is the man in the vault,
Why oh why is recycling our fault,
Do we not furnage the odd amusing limerick,
That distracts us from the dentists needle prick,
Teeth aside it's the old wounds that need the salt.
The Baron is in the thongs of boredom this day,
Going over the old and the dusty come what may,
Limerick's are built to last that is true,
However on this thread it is safe from the contents so blue,
So we make do with the humour instead and mix it into the fray.
Don't assume that we've never used blue humor
These limericks grown on me; no, that's not a tumor
monster movies oft have sexual themes
the motives for many vexual schemes
Seems most mosnters just want love to be true, not a rumor.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D
SUPERMAN has an allergic reaction, to KRYPTONITE,
Exposed, to it, he'll become weak & lose the FIGHT;
On a Mission, to BATMAN'S CAVE,
He erred; entered my lavish GRAVE,
Ended up, as SUPPER-MAN, in my CRYPT, TONIGHT!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Baron ate Superman? Is that really the truth?
Check his bicuspids; has he broken a tooth?
A werewolf eating kryptonian meat
must beware, for you are what you eat
Now Tim must avoid changing everytime he uses a phone booth!
There are those who suffer a most curious affliction,
When telling lies has become an addiction.
But as long as it's harmless and won't cause a tiff,
An elaborate lie can become a great myth.
Although 'the truth' they say, can be stranger than fiction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Konged One, doubt you our tale is legit?
That the Baron could have roasted Kal El on a spit?
Since Supes has no defense against magic
a fight with Timotheus for him would be tragic
But wait, I just saw the Man of Steel fly by; guess I better quit!
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
In my fervent Quest, at best, to be JOCULAR,
I devised, in my mind, a JEST, SPECTACULAR;
SUPPER-MAN, I did, NOT, really, EAT;
To allay your grief; NOT, I must REPEAT!
That we don't see "Eye-To-Eye", I find, quite, OCULAR!
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
MONSTER LIMERICKS rely, on one's ability, to be TERSE;
They dissolve, and, decay, from bad, to WORSE,
Caging PUNS, in RHYMES,
Is, akin, to jailing GREEN SLIME,
Can't stop these BLOBS, with Money, unless you pay PER VERSE!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Dearest Baron, this rhyme lacks innovation,
I am tired, and low on inspiration,
But before I give up the ghost,
I thought I'd write a post,
To honour your delegation.
~~~~~~~~~~
Goodnight and fare thee well for now! ;)
ZZzzzzzzz
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
Dearest KONG, your Rhyme's Fluid Concentration,
Shows, that, you're devoid, o' Mental Constipation,
Too, you've no lack, of Innovation;
Fired, up, am I, by your Inspiration,
Therefore, I Boast, your post, with a Toast, of Adulation!
~~~~~~~~~~
Good Morrow, and, fare Thee, well, EVERNOW! ;)
Mua-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Et-Cetera!
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
This thread still exists, over one thousand posts strong?
I thought limericks appealed to a niche crowd; what went wrong?
Our think tank must be dry by now
yet the poems keep flowing somehow
I blame Tim and Maurice and Long Live Kong!
Posted, by CRAZY 1VAN: "I thought limericks appealed to a niche crowd"
;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :-*
Ah, YES! The Puzzling Element: If LIMERICKS STINK;
When Each New One appears, I DARE YOU, TO BLINK;
We Need a NEEDLE, to SEW, with This THREAD;
&, when, All, is Done, THERE'S, MORE, DONE, THAN SAID!
I'd Say: We've got, more, SONS, OF A NICHE, than you THINK!
;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin
There, once, was an UNDEAD, called a ZOMBIE,
I saw, one, as a Child, and, screamed: "MOMMIE!"
In the years, since I've grown,
Whene'er, I've heard their groans,
I've, simply, blown them, apart, with a BOMBIE!
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named DRACULA;
Who liked, to bite folks, on their UVULA,
He bit a HAWAIIAN BOY,
But, choked, on his POI,
Now, DRAC wears a Grass Skirt, &, dances THE HULA!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a werewolf named Larry
Whose predicament had gotten quite scary
His new movie was panned
by the teen Twilight fans
So take heed monster remakes, and be-wary!
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
Her Hissing Denial would drive FRANK, to TEARS;
Rather, than go, to drown his sorrow, in BEERS,
He pulled, down, the LEVER,
See Her, again?! NEVER!
From DR. PRETORIUS, that, did, not, elicit CHEERS!
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
??? ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'(
How well, I remember, KHARIS, THE MUMMY;
Good head, on his shoulders; He was no Dummy;
'Til he lost it, in a Love, unfortunate,
It consumed him, in trials, importunate,
Haven't seen him, in years, for our weekly GIN RUMMY.
??? ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D
Stalking, out, of the Ancient, Primordial SOUP,
Evolved a FISH-MAN, who became the DUPE,
For a Beauty, in a SWIM-SUIT;
Losing, at Love, He became a RECRUIT,
In THE UMA'S Collection, of *a-hem* UNIQUE TROOPS!
;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
This is the thread that never dies,
Limericks abound for lonely eyes,
Persistent poets toiling their pens,
With Baron and Ivan dueling here often,
I'm outta my league, but I don't care,
What good am I if I don't share?
As good as any General can be
and good for his troops in this monsters' army
You founded our feast
and let loose the beast
Now we 'honor' you with awful poetry!
Mr. Grady had a wife and two kids,
But was prone to occasional fits,
One day he cracked,
And taking an axe,
He chopped up his family to bits.
u6juu
~~~~~~~~~~~
On a rocky hill the building stands,
Made of timber, mortar and stone.
The perfect place to get away,
'A holiday home from home'.
But behind the cheery, grand veneer,
Lurks a sinister, murky past,
And a night spent at the Overlook,
May end up being your last.
~~~~~~~~~~~
fmofmpls writ:
This is the thread that never dies,
Limericks abound for lonely eyes,
Persistent poets toiling their pens,
With Baron and Ivan dueling here often,
I'm outta my league, but I don't care,
What good am I if I don't share?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::)
We're Blessed, with our GENERAL, TERRY,
We're Honoured, that, here, he doth TARRY,
When he pens us a Limerick line,
He reminds us, of FRANKENSTEIN,
The sight, of his Poem, alone, tends, to be *SCARY!
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::)
* And, I mean, that, as a compliment, in the Kindest UNIVERSAL CLASSIC MONSTER Way Possible!!!
EXANIMO EVERNOW, :-*
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::)
Well, of, all, of the MONSTERS, I know,
Our King, BORIS, sure put, on a show,
I, also, admit, I love BELA,
{A most remarkable Fella!};
Fond, o' LON, too, when he let his hair grow!
::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW, ;D
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
Attaining His Fame, He was a Dark and Stormy Knight;
The mere mention, of His Name, fills my Soul, with Fright;
Who is this cad?! Why, 'tis PRINCE VLAD!
I must say, I'm relieved, and, even, glad,
That VAN HELSING reduced him, to dust, so, He doesn't Bite!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW, ;)
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ >:(
Ancient Egypt's Tombs, tragically, come, to mind,
Occult Lore, of deadly dealings, and, precious finds,
Dark Magic spans several Millennium,
Restores a semblance, of Life, to One,
THE MUMMY returns, accursed, for, in Unholy Love, He pines.
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
What a wonder it is to discover this thread anew,
I have been somewhat busy and on a tight curfew,
Just as the World stood still,
My fingers got cramp from yet another household bill,
And I've found the time to converse with my most loyal motley crew.
I salute you for keeping this thread alive,
Ivan, Tim and Kong plus someone called Terry?
Never heard of him personally, he must be like Renfield another fly by night character.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-*
We've conscripted a Chap, called TV HORROR,
And, this Thread woudst be, much, POORER,
Without him, &, his IRISH WIT,
Why, the rest, o' us, might QUIT,
Producing LIMERICK SLEEPERS! {O.K., mayhap, SNORERS!} ;)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The werewolf fled the moors and the mud began to cake,
He ran for his life hunted for his own sake,
Over the hills they were coming closer he could not fail,
Faster and faster he ran although quite frail,
Until that fatal shot which ended with a sparkling Irish wake.
Thank you baron for the kind words, it it my honour to serve.
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
This WEREWOLF fled the moors, with less;
Ran, for my Life, in a state of "Undress"
Over hills, moors, fen and swamp,
I, nearly, caught cold; awfully damp,
I ran, 'tho', quite, frail; my Obit appeared, in THE DAILY MAIL!
{ Only a dream, what a relief, to be free, of gall;
A Victim, of a sparkling Irish Wake-Up Call. }
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
Thank you baron for the kind words, it it my honour to serve.
~ Brother MAURICE; the Pleasure, is OURS!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Moores fled the werewolf in fear
It was muddy and smelled of Irish beer
From Paris it's course had been altered
till it passed through the straits of Gibralter
Now he's AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN TANGIER
:-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ GOD BLESS THE USA & THE UMA :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-*
I'm an AMERICAN WEREWOLF, on THE FOURTH, OF JULY;
Like, FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND & MOM'S APPLE PIE,
I Salute my GRAND-UNCLE SAM,
Whilst eating CANNED SPAM,
For a REAL TREAT, I'll EAT WHALE-MEAT, &, BLUBBER, not, CRY!
:-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ GOD BLESS THE USA & THE UMA :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-*
And, THANK You, IVAN
{&, other UMA SERVICE-MEN & WOMEN, for Your Valiant Contribution, to our Welfare!}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie LOL
This Forbidden Topic, which, all, approach, with DREAD:
Succinctly, put: "WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead"!
This Mad List, of CRIMES,
Now, (Read 25050 times),
Requires the Stomach, of a ZOMBIE,&, The Heart, of an UNDEAD!
ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Frosty and Rudolph had high expectations
when they headed south for a family vacation
But they needed to get back up north
before the final firework fired on the Fourth
Even magickal snowmen in July come with an expiration
::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::)
Through the 4th, of July, Our Friend, FROSTY, didst MUDDLE, :)
Until, all, that remained, was his fast-evaporating PUDDLE, :'(
"No Sweat!" Saith HE; ;D
And, "Look, Ma!"... no BVD! :o
At THE NORTH POLE, his Bride died, of FROST-BITE, with no-one, to CUDDLE! :-*
::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'(
THE WEREWOLF OF LONDON, they shot;
Unsure, if it was DR. GLENDON, or, not,
The Inspector aimed, true;
What, else, could he do?
The Good Doctor, now, rests, in His Family's Plot.
:'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Poor Wilford the Werewolf was scary
but he was forgotten when viewers saw Larry
Even though he came first
Universal treated him worst
Probably 'cuz he wasn't as hairy
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
WILFRED, The WEREWOLF, I remember, as being, mildly, SCARY,
Nothing, compared, to our Incomparable LYCANTHROPE, LARRY,
Our WILL was, howe'er, of a POP Musical Bent,
More, Singing, than Howling, where'er, he went,
Reminded me, of an early version, o' The BROTHER GIBB, named, BARRY!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Two zany Yankees went trotting the globe,
with little respect for the backpackers code.
The locals weren't nice,
but gave sound advice;
"Beware the moon, and stick to the road!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~
In murky waters true romance was made,
Gill-Man's love for the dame wouldn't fade.
This new girl was nice,
but she wouldn't suffice,
He missed his first love, the Fiji Mermaid!!
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
There, once, was a UMA TROOPER,
Who wasn't a PARTY POOPER;
Like, LAMOUR, in SARONG,
I say: "LONG LIVE KONG!",
For providing 2 LIMERICKS, so SUPER!
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Glendon the werewolf is the one that I would pitch,
He seemed to play the creature without a hitch,
With being animalistic in his thespian approach,
From his gut came a growl that none could poach,
So it's a head's up which werewolf I would ditch.
8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8)
It bodes, this Seventh Month, on its Seventh Day,
That, Summer's scorching heat, is, in full sway;
Stand, still, and, swelter,
Sweating, Helter-Skelter,
Or, Join, in Cool-Crypt Shelter, The MONSTERS, of THE UMA!
8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
These IRISH LIMERICKS are written, by A{Shriveled, Shrunken}Head!
MAX'S nearest Cousin; the reason, why, 'tis 25,296 times, read;
He, like, LON CHANEY, SR., is a Master, of Disguise,
TIM, IVAN, TV HORROR, KONG, are, just, some, of his Lies,
He rests, by day; by night, he bays, to fill your hearts, with DREAD!!!!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Oh no we've been discovered and outed,
He found out our secret and had it flouted,
Is there to be no peaceful rest,
From this limerick spouting pest,
Alas and alack the baron shouted.
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
Shame on me; a WEREWOLF, too unruly and old, to mind;
Spilling MONSTERDOM'S Beast-kept Secrets; so unkind!
Too late, now, this ruptured fence, to mend,
Restoring, by means, Alchemical, Fiend, to Friend,
How will these LIMERICKS end? I, too am, of TWO MINDS!
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv
In continual effort, of trying, "to keep, up, with The JONESES",
I'm, in MONSTERDOM'S Closet, rattling Skeleton's BONESES;
From VAMPIRE, to GHOST, to MUMMY,
{I confess, some, of them, are CRUMMY},
Yet, I get, off my BUMMY, to ensure our LIMERICKS keep their THRONESES!
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Yikes we just had a very close escape,
For the Baron has been doing swirling his cape,
He claims to be centuries old yet is on his toes,
Investigating our shrunken head one of many low blows,
However we'll forgive him has it was a very close scrape,
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
I wouldn't have believed it; I consider it, NIFTY,
I have the Honour, of posting, LIMERICK 1,050;
Our UMA CREED,
Only MONSTERS Bleed,
We'll, never, concede, YOU BET YOUR BIPPY!
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
To my enthusiastic and esteemed Limericking comrades;
My posting habits have gotten quite lazy,
(this summer heat has been driving me crazy)
To keep our thread rolling along,
allow me to offer, Limerick 1,051,
But I regret, my creativity is somewhat hazy.
~~~ ???~~~ :P~~~ :-\~~~
The Raven had a duel with known witchcraft,
And Dr Craven was in fear of the evil Scarabus' wrath,
Yet there were some funny moments,
From the Peter Lorre components,
Although by the end the castle was brought down in the aftermath.
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~~ Zombie No Smile
The legions, of ZOMBIES, dwelling, on-screen; Zombie Cool
Some, misunderstood; some, evil & mean, Zombie Censored
Some, became Cinematic Legends, Zombie Roll Eyes
Others, receive Honourable Mention, Zombie Blush
Whilst, a few, have been downright obscene! Zombie Razz
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~~ Zombie No Smile
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
~~ cl:)~~ thrhrt~~ ededed~~
From castle ruins and Gothic towers,
and beasts of ancient lore,
to machete-wielding maniacs,
and ultra-violent gore.
From mad scientists playing God,
and tragic monsters in love,
to inbred mutant cannibal tribes,
and teenagers soaked in blood.
There was a time when horror was pure,
with timeless tales and themes,
when monster icons came to life,
and stalked the silver screen.
~~ je7u6ker6~~ hmjfym~~ 8j68j68ju~~
Although the mummy had a leg that was lame,
He could always catch his victim all the same,
Beware the beat of the cloth wrapped feet,
Declared the Hammer poster on its one sheet,
My advice then is to relent yourself and play the game.
FANTASTIC POEM, LLK! More, please, as they come, to you! ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
There, once, was a RIPPER, named JACK,
For dismembering victims, had a KNACK,
He'd flip, "HEADS, or, TAILS",
And, as, for their ENTRAILS,
He'd, often, take them, home, in a SACK!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
His identity remains unknown,
Yet his legasy appears full blown,
He killed five women maybe more,
Although some suspect he left Britain's shore,
No one knows where he could have flown.
H46j7 ~~~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~~~ chain_saw ~~~~~~~ 8j68j68ju
MR.HYDE, in like manner, to JACK, THE RIPPER,
Preferred a Break-fast Feast, of Salted KIPPER,
Then, out, into the NIGHT,
To savour one more BITE,
From the flesh, of a tawdry SOHO STRIPPER!
H46j7 ~~~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~~~ chain_saw ~~~~~~~ 8j68j68ju
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~~~ :-X ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-X ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-X
There, once, was a Flying Dinosaur, RHAMPHORHYNCHUS,
Who evolved, into the modern-day jailbird, RAT-FINKUS,
He, once, ruled the skies,
Now, only, repeats lies,
&, is responsible, for raising, up, too much Major STINKUS!
::) ~~~~~~~ :-X ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-X ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-X
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a master Barber, impeccably skillfull and neat,
who had a habit of making pies, with a dubious filling of meat,
you could have a close shave or a trim,
but your chance of survival was slim,
when visiting Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for the kind words Baron!!
LONG LIVE KONG,
You have, once, again, proven the reflective Truth, of my words.
Thanks, and... BRAVO!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o
Once, whilst, in the Church loft, as I sang, in the choir,
I noticed, outside, there appeared the start, of a fire,
It arose, a smoky gray mist...
After sundown... it did consist,
Of the face & form, of a Blood-sucking VAMPIRE!
:o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There was once was a guy by the name of Poe,
Who although a long time ago he was no ordinary Joe,
He wrote of mystery and of being buried alive,
But like his tell tale heart his madness did arrive,
Leaving us tales consisted of the Gothic and tales of woe.
Without Poe we would have no word for a poem, so rest easy on thy laurels great one and enjoy the genre you helped create.
;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
E. A. POE, was a REAL MAN, he ate Quiche,
His scary poems and stories established a Niche,
Despite his odd life,
Filled, with anguish & strife,
His greatest accomplishment was the *POE-BOY SANDWICH!
*Spelled, on Menus, as THE PO'-BOY SANDWICH; Try one - Folks are RAVEN, about IT!
;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
They exhumed the VAMPIRE, from his CRYPT,
"Why, he, still, looks alive!" Someone Quipped.
With night-fall descending,
This has no happy ending,
Except, for the Renevant, due, to the Jugulars he Ripped!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Tomorrow I go camping, to the Yorkshire Dales,
hoping for fine weather, free of rainfall and gales,
by day we'll go hiking,
at night drink like vikings,
;D Or toast marshmellows, and recite ghostly tales!! :P
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enjoy thy weekend, limericking cohorts!
8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8)
The VAMPIRE slept, through the night,
Dis-oriented, he awoke, in day-light,
His last words were: "CRAP!"
"I shouldn't have taken that nap!"
I'm sure, we, all, can identify, with his plight.
8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D
FANG-MILY, Von WOLFSTEIN, I grant ye, is olde;
Wealthy, yes; vast treasures, of jewels & gold,
Yet, richer, beyond measure,
Is Moi absolute pleasure,
Of the knowledge, of FRIENDS, my Heart holds!
;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
This Summer month is called, JULY;
... I, still, haven't figured, out, WHY,
Howe'er, I'll attempt, to get SOBER,
By that month, called, SEPTOBER,
Yet, it, too, like, a VAMPIRE, will FLY!
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-[
My Wit and Wisdom, seem, reduced, to half,
My brain needs washed! Ah, Yes! A Bubble-Bath;
These zany topics drive me, mad,
- Short trip; for which, I'm glad;
My only reward: your reply, or, silent laugh!
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Double, double toil and trouble,
Goes the Baron's mind in a bubble,
Although squeaky clean,
There is still a chance of it being mean,
But in a nice way of course that goes double.
:o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::)
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, from Scranton;
Limericks, about Blood, were his constant rantin'!
No ifs, ands, or, buts,
Ev'ryone thought him nuts,
Yet, he'd rhyme, with no time, for recantin'!
:o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There was a scientist with an audacious notion,
who created a miraculous and ingenious potion,
his uncanny home brew,
turned him see-through,
but filled him with arrogance, and twisted emotion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ Zombie LOL
There, once, was a MUMMY, named, BOB,
Who was, unfortunately, known, as a SLOB;
Female MUMMIES avoid him,
Since his bandages weren't trim...
He was last seen, all wrapped up, in THE BLOB!
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-[ ~~~~ :( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :-X ~~~~ :-*
There, once, was a WEREWOLF, named, FRED;
Who woke, up, to find himself, DEAD;
He reached, into his GULLET,
&, extracted a SILVER BULLET,
"Eureka! Now, I'm a RICH MAN!" He SAID.
:-[ ~~~~ :( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :-X ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ je7u6ker6 ~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie LOL
Moste Faire, is our WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead,
A UMA Topic, which hath, 25,976 times, been Read;
We've adapted, quite, popularly, to this Plight,
Ent'ring another season, o' Laughable Fright,
In 24, our WEB o' SIGHTS, 26,000 Readers' brains hath Bled!
thrhrt ~~~ je7u6ker6 ~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
In honor of your rhyming determination,
I defy my chronic, Limerick constipation,
and offer this rap,
albeit - rather crap,
with gibberish glee, and profound celebration!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK,I'm game again. I remember this as a poem back 40 years ago in one of my mags we could order as kids thru the school.
Crack that bone , break that head
Beat little brother , til he's dead.
Throw him in the oven and turn it to bake
Remember to make room for the fudge ripple cake
Poor little brother shore wuz sweet.
The best little brother we ever did eat.
The ONLY sour part wuz a big red blister.
Next month on X-mas we'll have little sister. chain_saw
Pretty bizarre for a 1970? entry in a mag sold at a Catholic grammer school. But.... IIII like it and got in HUGE trouble when my P's found it. >:D
;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D
I honor, KONG, your rhyming determination,
With gibberish glee and profound celebration!!!
Your offered rap,
Altho', hardly crap,
Defies the essence, of chronic Limerick constipation!
;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WICKED LESTER,
I recall that little epic... can't remember the mag, however, thanks, for your ghoulish input!
# 26,000 - BINGO!
Now, Onward!... to # 27,000!
MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-ET-CE-TE-RA!!!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
So while we continue to serve this limerick slop,
There are those that can't wait for us to drop,
So we'll keep putting them out,
And in the course we will shout,
Hurrah for the limerick thread it will never stop.
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
YUM! LIMERICK SLOP! Can I have another HELPING?!
It occurs, to me; this is, rather, much, like, WHELPING!
We give "Birth", to these li'l CRITTERS;
Which, spawns, in our Brethren, JITTERS!
These DOGS won't hunt; they're just MUTTS, A-YELPING!
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Quote from: tv horror on July 31, 2010, 12:43:09 PM
So while we continue to serve this limerick slop,
There are those that can't wait for us to drop,
Is there really an element who are against our thread??
well to any naysayers I say "look elsewhere instead",
and to those who object,
take time to reflect,
we have given you fair warning: Irish Limericks lie ahead!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"we have given you fair warning: Irish Limericks lie ahead!"
SPLENDID LLK Another sterling example, of circuitous logic!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
LONG LIVE KONG is a GOOD EGG & Subtly WITTY BLOKE,
He turns a phrase, with the Elegance, o' the most WELL-SPOKE;
Deftly, conjures images, TRUE,
Nary, a syllable, doth he RUE,
Punctuates, wisely, as he cracks jokes; leaving undisturbed YOKE!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Baron, with your daily input, this thread, you enliven,
and good old tv horror, my inspiration, you widen,
and completing my list,
is someone we've missed,
Whatever happened to Crazy1Ivan???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1van might be crazy,
But he sure ain't lazy,
He is just having break,
It's like slamming on a brake,
Sometimes the creative juices make us hazy.
As for you Mister Kong,
I thank you for the bong,
Singing my limerick praises,
Has made my head swell like the blazes,
And now I am in a swirl admitting that something is quite wrong.
As for our dear mentor the Baron,
He is like the watchful eye of Sauron,
Guiding us to creative pastures new,
That others fear to tread but a brave few,
We should elect him instead of Chancellor Gowron.
I once knew a fella named creepy
who by the life of me, was always so weepy
when asked why he's so deeply
he spun a tale that made me sleepy....
I once knew a painter named Scatter
who laughed ever so like a mad hatter
he laughed so hard,that he lost control of his bladder
and sprinkled all those who walked under his ladder.....
And, now, for a completely incongruent flying non-sequitor... ahhh, That's REFRESHMENT! ;)
:-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-*
There, once, was a Bloke, named BORIS,
Who sang TENOR, in the UMA CHORUS,
He hit the high notes, they say,
Beside his Baritone partner, FJA,
But, you couldn't see the Trees, for the FORREST!
:-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a creature from the old lagoon,
Who took it upon himself to mate with a balloon,
Easy does it now he growled,
But when it burst he could have howled,
For deprived of his new love he headed for the nearby saloon.
Wolfman was a beast of cantankerous, moody ways,
prone to vexatious fits, of wild, tempestuous rage,
this latest full-moon hitch,
was a common canine itch,
those bloodsucking ticks had given him mange!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BRAVO, LLK! I winced, as I can Identify, with his plight!
>:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:(
My CASTLE is over-run, with Noisy GHOSTS, tynhrt
Each one, GHOST-WRITING "my" LIMERICK POSTS, >:D
So, any odd THREAD, Zombie Censored
About THE UNDEAD, chain_saw
Might be THEIRS, so, alas, I cannot BOAST... :'(
>:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
There was a VAMPIRE, named, COUNT JIMMY-BOB;
Noted, by the other UNDEAD, as a total SLOB,
In a Nocturnal Dance Contest,
He was, less, than the Best,
Out-done, by DRAC & His Bride, in THE DANSE-MACABRE!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
"GUILTY! We'll hang you!" They said, to YGOR.
First time failed; they weren't allowed, to do more.
Well, old YGOR found a new "FRIEND";
The Jury member's lives, to end,
They'd have Hanged him, again, if they knew, what was, in store!
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S New BRIDE, wouldn't kiss Her Mate,
She didn't know, much, save, she'd, not, accept this Fate;
A Victim, of innocent Distortion,
She blew the Issue, out, of Proportion,
So, did Her sad GROOM - BOOM! Change Her mind? TOO LATE!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::)
She, really, didn't like being a VAMPIRE;
The lust, for Blood, made her perspire,
DRACULA'S DAUGHTER,
Really burnt her Father;
Ashes-to-ashes, on a FUNERAL PYRE!
::) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
A weekend, away; to find, that, down the list, we've fallen,
Arrived home, moments, ago; I hear the computer callin',
2 days, we wandered fossil shops,
Viewing Trilobites, to Triceratops;
Back, now, to: FRANKENSTEIN, VAMPIRES & WEREWOLVES Maulin'!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Baron has a limerick pang,
That won't go away dang,
So with this one as a pun,
He'll feel at home what fun,
Well it sure beats him with a broken fang.
I might be a bit of a bore,
But at least I don't snore,
While writing the odd rhyme,
As it sure beats the daily grime,
And makes it hard for others to ignore.
My indubitably, Dubliny, double-trouble, toiling bubble, tolling Brother, TV HORROR:
... THANKS, for ye royal input!
;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::)
I tuned, in, tonight, as : (Read 26262 times),
Which, in & of itself, is quite a melodic rhyme,
WARNING: Irish Limericks A-borning;
In Knighty-night, or mourning morning,
This Topic, to pick, a peck, o' trouble, always, Blows, up, MIMES!
;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::)
INSCRUTABLE!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Baron comes off with some great vocabulary,
And one of these days arrested by the constabulary,
Kicking and screaming he will go,
While I laugh at his great show,
Making the number one werewolf a Talbot called larry.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
There, once, was a nasty Fellow, named HYDE,
Who took his "Better Half", on a Wild Ride;
He murdered DR. JEKYLL, then,
Which brought, about his own end,
... So, much, for the Blind, Raging, evil, of PRIDE!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Although my Mister Hyde side may reek,
I have been told my good side is very sleek,
So if you should approach me,
It will be courteous to you I'll be,
While on bathnight you should hear me shriek.
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :'(
A SWAMP-MONSTER crawled, onto LAND,
Saying, that, ITS name was FERDINAND,
HOLLYWOOD made the Movie,
Of Its Life Story, quite, GROOVY,
Yet, I read, that, the sequel was CANNED.
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool
There, once, was a GHOUL, named RASTUS,
And, we'd answer whatever he'd asked us;
With FANGS and CLAWS, MEAN,
He'd eat, up, your SPLEEN,
Of, all, MONSTERS, ol' RASTUS was FASTEST!
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S BRIDE was "born" no BIMBO,
'Tho' she stood, tall, with her arms, all, akimbo,
She wouldn't, ever, "put out",
For that green-skinned Lout,
'Cos Her DOC, had a lock, on her Heart; ONLY, HIM, BRO!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE MUMMY lisped: "You can run, but, you cannot hide!"
Shame, on me, for re-awakening him; 'twas due, to my pride,
I cannot, now, undo the evil, of the Mystic Spell;
Vile Incantation, which hath wrought a living hell,
So, I appealed, to ISIS: as he melted, into dust, he cried!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :)
There, once, was SHERLOCK, a most famous Detective;
He'd investigate clues, to discover what was defective,
DR. WATSON, his droll sidekick,
Oft, seemed, thick, as a brick.
Was it, only, an "elementary" trick, to gain better perspective?
8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
An actor has a lot of fine tricks to hone,
Thats why his agent gets called on the phone,
So if they need those fine chiseled features,
They'll ask around the acting teachers,
But in the end they all want Basil Rathbone.
:-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-*
Some Actors earn respect; whilst, at others, some scoff,
Talent vs. Personality, an Issue debated, by learned Profs.,
Some actors, superbly, have both,
Some, have neither, which we loathe,
Howe'er, the Thespic Breed's Best, was BORIS KARLOFF!
:-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-*
This is the 75th page, that, we're on; ;D
MONSTER Limericks adorn every one, thrhrt ededed
There appears, to be no end, in sight, 8)
{Doesn't that give you frights?!} tynhrt
Share your insights, with olde BARON Von! ::)
8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Confused
There was a Limerick, about CLASSIC MONSTERS;
It drove the UNIVERSAL MONSTER ARMY BONKERS!
GENERAL TERRY went so MAD,
He left his MINNESOTA PAD;
Last seen, snockered, in a HARD ROCK Bar, in YONKERS!
Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
One of our members is under the weather,
And I know from reports he's as light as a feather,
The unknown primate is his UMA name,
Let us all wish him a great recovery all the same,
one way or the other he will rise out of his cushy leather.
Get well soon, my friend
:-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-*
There's a UMA Soldier, named, UNKNOWN PRIMATE, C:)
Who, truth be told, has been miserable, of late, :'(
But, like, the Phoenix, arising, from ashes, :o
Or, most ape-ropo, yer Fadder's moustaches, 8)
He's, now, on the mend, and, shall, soon, feel great! ;D
:-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
A BELA-ted HAPPY HEAVEN-BIRTH, MASTER LUGOSI!
---------------------------------------------------
'Twas the Death-day, #54, of the Late BELA LUGOSI,
Who's Film Career, We have followed, most closely,
From COUNT DRACULA, on,
{He was called, "POPS", by LON},
This Wine-glass, I raise, to his Memory, in Honourable Toast, LEE!
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
As I was about to sign out, after this LIMERICK, I noticed the uncanny synchronicity, of the ever-changing Banner:
Quote of the moment:
The spider spinning his web for the unwary fly. The blood is the life, Mr. Renfield. - Dracula
So, I just had to include it, in this serendipitous remembrance... and, yes, LEE is CHRISTOPHER LEE, who assumed the DRACULA Mantle, in the same year, as BELA'S Mortal Departure, from The Stage Terrestrial... ;) thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The doctor's creation longed for a bride,
to bring him peace, only love could provide,
but his romantic ambition,
would end in attrition,
a manmade broken heart, and a monsters hurt pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On being nosy, I have learned some information,
that TV horror has a unique, Irish limerick qualification,
an interesting fact,
that I find rather apt,
his profile states that Belfast, is his current location!
Long live Kong is right,
It would take a very long flight,
To view me in my habitat,
Limerick's abound this and that,
On the Emerald isle I now take plight.
P.S
You're not nosy, you've just come up smelling like a posy, and in my book that's just rosy!
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ::)
The CREATURE, from, out, yon BLACK LAGOON, didst spring;
To capture yon Human female; to Mate - 'twas his thing;
This story may seem fishy,
As gossip, 'tis, still, dishy,
He was, not, washy-wishy, too bad, he didn't offer her a ring!
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a GHOST, named, VISCOUS LOUIE,
Whose ECTOPLASM, 'tis said, is, unbelievably, GOOEY;
So, at the stroke of MID-NIGHT,
You'd best get, out, of SIGHT,
Lest, you be SLIMED, at that time, by this sound: "KER-PLOOIE!!!"
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-*
I sing, a sad ODE, to this hot day, of AUGUST 20,
Of SUMMERTIME'S Number, remaining, not, MANY;
In Memory, from my "PERSONAL STASH",
I prized, most, THE MONSTER BASH,
Most Memorable, that CHAPMAN; our own, UNCLE BENNY!
:-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
I read, about a devilish GIANT CRAB, that invaded ALASKA,
Whose vile RAMPAGE, took that poor State, to TASK-A!
Those folks' Moms didn't raise no FOOLS,
They heated, up, an OLYMPIC-SIZED POOL;
Boiled IT, into CRAB-CAKES; saved ITS SHELL, to make MASK-A!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The wicked witch of the West,
Was far scarier to that I can attest,
Than that pink floozy Glenda,
At times she was more like Glen than Glenda,
However Ed Wood would win hands down without a vest.
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
We've seen, how, The WICKED WITCH, OF THE EAST,
On DOROTHY & TOTO, wished, that, she could FEAST,
To DOROTHY'S House, she tried, to DROP, IN,
But, The HOUSE, pinned her, down, for The WIN,
Curled her, into Oblivion; her RUBY SLIPPERS, Proof, of DE-FEET!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
We keep plugging, on, without much activity,
This niche, of threads, unmoved, since yesterday,
'Twas a late Summer's Sunday,
Too lazy, to research PUN-PLAY,
So, onward, we plow, with our LIMERICK Proclivity!
:-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
What about the insidious Dr Fu Manchu,
There was not much that he could not do,
So while I was being tortured on his rack,
I tackled the subject of a limerick attack,
He was very polite until another turn made him go blue.
>:D~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 26656 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Topic has, only, ten more Readers, to go,
'Til 26,666 times, the Post-Counter will show;
Arcane, and, vile,
It's taken, awhile;
GOD save the poor devil, who has that mark beastowed!
>:D~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA decided, to take a new VAMPIRE BRIDE,
From the Mid-West U.S., so, He chose KENTUCKY FRIED;
A Real Beauty, was she - HOT DANG!
Alas, she was sans teeth, so, NO FANGS;
Arising, UNDEAD; her dentures fell, out! Embarrassed, she CRIED!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
The MONSTER lumbered, on, through the gloomy FOREST,
'Til he ended, up, in the Funeral Vault, with DR. PRETORIUS,
Wanting, only, a BRIDE; FRIEND; MATE;
One little catch - She'd, always, be LATE,
A DEATH, worse, than FATE, she'd know, at the Hand, of BORIS!
:-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Mad ~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-*
There, once, was a GHOUL, named SAM,
Who reduced, all, of his victims, to SPAM,
Not, like, The SPAM, on COMPUTERS;
He, also, kept Ads, from HOOTERS,
& FRANKENSTEIN pics, of the EXPLODING DAM!
Zombie Mad ~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The baron is beginning to look like a shaggy dog,
But bless his werewolf hide he is the limericks main cog,
Without his continued rhyming thrust,
This thread would end up in the dust,
Leaving us mere mortals feeling about in the UMA fog.
SPECIAL THANKS, to OUR BROTHER, MAURICE!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-*
There, once, was an evil MONSTER, MOE,
Who, if you'd catch him, by the TOE,
Down, in ol' Hoot 'n' HOLLER,
Would throw you a silver DOLLAR,
If you'd let him go... once released, he'd GLOW!
{ He was born, in the '70's, where he modeled, for AURORA! ;) }
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :'(
There, once, was a MEDIUM, renowned, for telepathy,
Who knew when his friends would be struck, with leprosy,
His own nose blew, off,
When he started, to cough,
Now, he's pushing up daisies, as well as, other sweet posies.
:'( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
It's, just, another typical SATURDAY IN THE PARK;
I'm being chased, by JASON VOORHEES; what a LARK!
That Big Guy, with the mean MACHETE,
Wants, to chop, me, into SPAGHETTI,
I'd rather kiss a YETI, than be filled, with TERROR, STARK!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
A Pleasure as always Tim, I live to serve.
The creature fought them all because he was mean,
From foot soldiers to tanks but none could make it lean,
However there was one brave soul with some mercy,
It was a little girl whom the town knew as Marcy,
She went to the creatures feet and shouted it's to early for Halloween,
:'( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
QUASIMODO announced, that, he had had, enough;
His misshapen appearance had made his life, too rough,
With the operation's success,
He was, rather, perplexed,
To be jeered, as THE HUNCH-LACK, OF NO-MORE FAME!
:'( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, swirled, out, of the mist, in the bog;
Misjudging his footing, he slipped, on a leaping bullfrog,
Into the swamp, DRAC went "KER-SPLAT!"
Amidst mud, goop, and, slime, He sat;
In fuming frustration, The VAMPIRE howled, like, a dog!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D
The Month, of AUGUST, now, spirals, to an August CLOSE,
September, soon, will be A-HEAD, by Ye Proverbial NOSE,
The JACK-O'-LANTERN'S SMILE and EYES,
Will be, for UMA-ers, OCTOBER'S SURPRISE,
Then, again, on, to DECEMBER'S End; that's how, A.D. 2010, GOES!
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o
There, once, was an Italian VAMPIRE, PASQUALE,
Who'd attack his victims, in Medieval BACK ALLEYS,
Even, GARLIC suited His Noble Epicurean TASTE,
He'd slurp BLOOD, like, it was TOMATO PASTE,
SO, AVOID HIM, LIKE, THE PLAGUE, BY GOLLY!
:o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Igor decided to go it alone,
Firstly he needed the plans on loan,
He would impress his old master,
With a creature made of plaster,
The rain came and melted his prize with a groan.
There was a machine, that in the blink of an eye,
could teleport a man from New York to Shanghai,
whilst testing his device,
the inventor paid a price,
behold the beast with the trunk of a man, and the head of a FLY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The vampire was eyeing the man's throat,
Maybe I'll get him when he sleeps I hope,
Oh I can't wait my tongue it burns,
Wait he begins to close his eyes as he turns,
Drat I just remembered who's going to row the boat.
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
A pleasure, to be joined, by TV HORROR & LONG LIVE KONG,
Adding their TWO LIMERICK CENTS, as we move, along,
To see our readership reach one + Million, strong,
What Bliss, to have our names, enshrined, among,
Why, just, the raw potential, fills my MONSTER-KID Heart, with Song!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
In vast, abysmal trenches,
too deep for human eyes,
where net or camera cannot reach,
where serpents surely hide,
where every dive reveals new creatures,
of fantastic, uncanny design,
I wait with childlike wonder,
at what secrets we may find.
For those who dream of alien worlds,
they could look closer to home,
at the murky depths of our open seas,
the original twilight zone!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LLK,
A LIMBER-KICK, of beautiful, wise Thought, depicted, rather, than a LIMERICK; yet{i}, EXQUISITE, and, MOST WELCOME, None-the-less, my BROTHER!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a UMA LIMERICK THREAD,
Impossible, to kill, 'cos it is UNDEAD,
'Tis a MONSTER you can't FIGHT,
'Cos it has FANGS, that BITE,
Happily, this, is another one, BLOOD-READ!
tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 26933 times)
Only 67 readers needed, to induce the birth, of 27,000! THANK YOU, ALL, BELOVED UMA READERS!
8) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ 8) ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-*
We've arrived, at a WHOPPING PAGE, SEVENTY-SEVEN,
Indeed, all, of our LIMERICKS are reminiscent, of HEAVEN,
Wholesome CLASSIC MONSTER FUN,
Forget the gun, if you run, with a PUN,
Our visceral weapon, to make your brain-salad LEAVEN!
8) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ 8) ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
A dutiful sheriff, by the name of Brody, set sail with a wily old skipper,
to rid his island of a troublesome fish, a most ravenous, beastly critter,
a shark with a grisly favourite food,
of bikini babes and surfer dudes,
but alas, blown to smithereens, like a rocket-propelled kipper!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~ Dear Baron, I thank you, for your kind, encouraging words! ~~~~
~~~~ Dear Baron, I thank you, for your kind, encouraging words! ~~~~
Dear Brother, LONG LIVE KONG,
You remind me, of my old friend, HANNIBAL LECTER. H46j7
His MOTTO: "STAND AND DE-LIVER!"
You did, again, in your JAWS LIMERICK Tribute!
Cannily devised, with descriptive insight, throughout; HOWEVER, your Punch-Line ROCKED!
"but alas, blown to smithereens, like a rocket-propelled kipper!!" left me, in a fit, of laughter!
THANK YOU!!!!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
With a Hell bent shriek,
She left others feeling meek,
Who could this be to make the grade,
I'll give you a clue she played a famous maid,
She was Una O'Connor with a nose for a beak.
In honour of a fellow Belfast native.
Norman Bates was a troubled boy, with a complex like no other,
if Sigmund Freud were to pick his brain, he'd quickly run for cover,
without any friends or a spouse,
he lived in an old spooky house,
with the withered stuffed remains, of his late tyrannical mother!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spiffily splendiforous! LLK! You master BATES' lore, like, a Trooper!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :o
On a Picnic, went RENFIELD & FRITZ, that odd, rare, PAIR,
French Flies & Fire-roasted foot-longs, their chosen FARE,
Renfield drank BLOOD,
Fritz, the usual SUDS,
DRAC & FRANKIE appeared & gave them a GHOULISHLY GOOD SCARE!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
MINA was no dog; she was loved, by JONATHAN HARKER,
Under DRACULA'S thrall, she became a Wolfish BARKER,
Van HELSING remedied the SITUATION;
Took MINA, on a TRANSYLVANIA VACATION,
Treated DRACULA, to a STAKE Dinner, lest, he go BERSERKER!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
There, once, was a MUMMY, whose fiendish wrath,
Was, to drown, all, of his foes, in a boiling bath,
As his next victim, I was no fool,
When I saw his "mystic pool",
I tossed him, in, instead - "instant mud-pie!" I laughed!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :(
Giant Reptiles have, always, gotten the short end, of the stick,
The Silver Screen has used them, to provide kids, with kicks,
We marvel, at their atrocious power,
At their jaws and claws, we cower;
They prove no match, for humans, as they were thick, as a brick.
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz
There once was a ZOMBIE, unnamed,
Who's appetite was, likewise, untamed,
He would devour your spleen
With ravenous hunger, mean,
But, his favourite portion was brain - duh!
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
Me Most Favourite 'Oliday is ALL-HALLOWS'-E'EN,
Dressed, up, for It, long, before I was a Teen,
Been ev'ry FAMOUS MONSTER, in the Book,
'Ad I pictures, you could, all, 'ave a Look;
Oft-times, I'm me Clown-self: LUCKY OLDE BEANE!
;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ :( ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ :( ~~~~ :o
There was, once, a very odd Witch, named Mitch,
Who's magickal potions, always, gave him an itch,
Hideous allergies, so, severe,
That, rash spread, ear-to-ear,
An atypical glitch, which forced him, to live, in a ditch.
::) ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ :( ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ :( ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
At long last he was caught the notorious Fly,
Saved from the pressing machine he didn't die,
The authorities threw the book at him,
And sentenced him to death at a whim,
There was some good news his cellmate was Dwight Frye!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
There, once, was a MONSTROUS, SLIMY, TOAD,
Whose HORRID SALIVA, solid steel could corrode,
He dissolved Infrastructures,
An Electrical System, he punctured...
A Great CONDUCTOR, he discovered his fate, ill-bode!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
That Jennifer was something of a hottie
But she ate her friends' organs, and acted naughty
So her BFF became a real hater
and decided to eviscerate her.
Now you don't need to waste time watching JENNIFER'S BODY
When Rabbi Lowe created his Homonculus
he never intended it to be one of us
He just wanted to save the Jews
from the emperor's bigoted views
But Der Golem rampaged and raised quite a fuss
Rhoda Penmark was really a BAD SEED
The charming child lived only for greed
She killed a classmate and at least two others
till she was poisoned by her own sweet dear mother
But all she wanted was for Claude Daigle to concede
HEX-CELLENT CONTRIBUTIONS, DEAR FELLOW!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
There has, now, returned, our Brother, CRAZY IVAN,
We'll, no longer, be sad, nor, tears, will we be CRYIN';
We've missed him, DREADFULLY,
And, all, of his LIMERICK MEDLEY,
WELCOME HOME, My BROTHER, Your Colours, we're FLYIN'!!!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Gaston Morrell's puppet shows were quite thrillin'
But his paintings were haunting, and chillin'
Not because he was weird
did they call him BLUEBEARD
Rather, it was habit of lady killin'
Thanks, Baron; good to be back
I thank you and others for taking up my slack
This is just one of my stops
whilest I'm on the run from the cops
At least till the next full moon I'll be harder to track
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
There, once, was an ACTOR, named BELA,
Who rings a bell, as a most remarkable fella;
No desire, to be, out-classed,
By TV HORROR, from BELFAST,
The BATS, in BELA'S Belfry, made him a great story-tella!
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I've now made it into prose,
What an honour my chest grows,
Thank you oh great and mighty Tim,
And even better news the return of Ivan all trim,
As Stan Lee once exclaimed excelsior our fair wind also blows.
:'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'(
Hatred is the MONSTER, of deformed proportion,
September 11th, a day, of most tragic distortion,
9 years, it has ruled our Psyche;
We've coped, & grown, most likely,
Beyond the fear, that plays, upon sympathetic extortion.
:'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
To Kevin McCarthy I would like to sing his praise,
What a great performer and so full of grace,
His iconic yell they're comin,
Would have heartrates strummin,
God rest ye merry gentleman all glasses raise.
Rest in peace Kevin and I thank you for all the times I've enjoyed your work.
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a MONSTER, named TERRIBLE TOMMY,
Who lived, in a CYBER-PIT, which drove Him, quite, BALMY,
This WRAITH proved, to be, THE EPITOME,
As He engaged, in a WILD HAUNTING SPREE;
He attacked me, and, I cried, "EEEEEEEEE! PITY ME, TOMMY!"
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D
There was an Abominable CREATURE, called SLUDGE,
A Nasty-Tempered Critter, who carried a GRUDGE;
He sought, to give Folks a WHOPPING,
Instead, they started SLUDGE-CHOPPING,
Turns, out, he yielded a half-ton, of really tasty FUDGE!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a Ravenous ZOMBIE, named FRED,
Who, whence awakening, in his cheap coffin, UNDEAD,
Watched, as the local Blue-Bloods, all, ran,
Lest, he proved, to them, that, he can,
Demonstrate, that, their Noble Blood wasn't Blue, but, RED!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :-*
There, once, was a Dangerous GIANT COMET,
Composed, entirely, of residue, of ALIEN VOMIT,
It HURLED, through SPACE,
With remarkable GRACE;
On crash-landing, was reduced, so much, you could PALM IT!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
The lone VAMPIRE flew, out, of his darkened CRYPT,
In search, of warm Blood, a Treat, to be sipped,
Traveling, through the night air,
With, nary, concern, nor, care...
'Til he realized: "I forgot my dentures!" He felt ill-equipped!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8)
There, once, was a STORYLINE GAME, ;D
To bring our dear olde UMA FAME, :o
The Scripting is FREE-FORM, :-[
Improvisation is the NORM, >:D
Composing a LIMERICK is, just, the SAME! :-* ;)
8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;)
THE WOLF MAN had finished his grisly meal,
It's, now, known, as "KEEPIN' IT REAL";
Although, Gory, as hell,
Tickets didn't sell, well;
Beautiful Ladies upped the film's sex appeal.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
There, once, was a Throw-back CREATURE, Prehistoric,
Who swam, in the Black Lagoon, poetically, stoic,
Humans, with a Female, suddenly, invaded,
He realized his desire, to her, to be Mated,
Until they cured him, with a strong dose, of Paragoric!
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt
There, once, was an ADDAMS, named, FESTER,
Who, as a BANE, to normal folk, would PESTER,
He'd jump, out, and, yell "BOO!",
At people, like, YOU;
Am I HE? So CLEVER! You GUESSED 'ER, CHESTER!
BOO! ;)
tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, IVAN, from KURSK,
Who, to find Victims, the Internet, would LURK,
When he'd spot likely Prey,
He'd type: "Have a nice DAY!"
But, he meet them, after sundown, then, go BERSERK!
HAVE A NICE DAY! MUA-HA-HA-HA-ET-CETERA!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt
This LIMERICK Thread slides, down the Line, really, fast;
As if, Its Days, of Importance, were a Thing, of the Past,
We'll keep soldiering, on,
Less brain, &, more brawn,
Until a Readership, of One Million, we've achieved, at last!
;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
There, once, was a GIANT ALLIGATOR;
Ate People, like FRENCH-FRIED POTATERS,
The Ketch-up, was BLOOD,
It poured, like, a FLOOD,
He devoured my entire ALMA MATER!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Really diggin' your latest lims, good Baron! Awesome!
Quote from: Unknown Primate on September 19, 2010, 07:53:40 PM
Really diggin' your latest lims, good Baron! Awesome!
THANKS, UP; For your kind remark, I've woven you, into one, as well! ;)
;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-*
Our Brother, UNKNOWN PRIMATE, really "digs my LIMS",
I keep them, Pumped & Exercised, in my MENTAL GYM,
You can see my Bulging BRAINS,
And, Say:"That's just INSANE!",
A Typical Refrain, for LIMS, built, on a Moment's WHIM!
;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a limerick planet
Whose best poet ate half a pomegranate
Now they're suffering a dearth
cause he spends time on Earth
They shouldn't have taken the Baron for granted
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
The MUMMY was wrapped, up, in a dubious ENIGMA,
Was his CURSE, real, or, of his Imagination, a FIGMA,
3,000 years, of no chance, to PEE,
Until, he smelled TANA LEAF TEA;
Left his SARCOPHAGUS, in the Dust, in a Hurry, BIG, MA!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Quote from: Crazy1van on September 20, 2010, 05:07:46 PM
There once was a limerick planet
Whose best poet ate half a pomegranate
Now they're suffering a dearth
cause he spends time on Earth
They shouldn't have taken the Baron for granted
BROTHER IVAN,
My Apologies! I missed the fact, that, you graced page 79, with the final LIMERICK Input...
So, I am presuming, that, our millions, of other Readers, might have might missed it, too... Therefore, I've taken the liberty, of bringing it, foreward, onto PAGE # 80...
... A Landmark Achievement... Never, have so few, done so much, with so little, for so many!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o
There, once, was a GHOST, of a CHANCE,
Who said, that, his name was ROSENCRANTZ,
He appeared, during the day,
Of an olde SHAKESPEARE Play,
In a small HAMLET, in DENMARK, to DANCE!
:o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;) ~~ :) ~~ :D ~~ ;D ~~ ::) ~~ ;D ~~ :D ~~ ;) ~~ :)
There, once, was a JAZZ SINGER, named SCAT,
Who was, undoubtedly, one HIP, COOL, CAT,
His SPOOKY LYRICS were TERSE,
Ranging, from BAT, to VERSE,
He rehearsed, in a Hearse, &, "HE'S WHERE IT'S AT!"
;) ~~ :) ~~ :D ~~ ;D ~~ ::) ~~ ;D ~~ :D ~~ ;) ~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Who is that fiend with the hairy face,
He seems to grace our limerick thread at a pace,
The beast is a work horse,
But he keeps plowing until he's hoarse,
Why it's the baron no less and no one can take his place.
If this keeps up we'll have to rename the thread the Baron's brogue!
well done my friend.
There once were two kid's named Flora and Miles,
Their governess scolded them to keep off the tiles,
Why you naughty kid's oh I'm so cross,
Now the Master will be at a loss,
First it was Jessel and Quint filling you with their venomous bile's.
Who could forget the great Lugosi stare,
And those spidery fingers pointed with his glare,
Poor Mr Renfield was absolutely terrified,
As he explored below deck it left him petrified,
His only defence was madness as he stood upon the stair.
A ghost sometimes misconstrues
the meanings of words that we use.
One time in a frolic
tried to scare an alcoholic,
But was welcomed for bringing him "BOO's"!
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o
OMIGOD! A Verifiable LIMERICK, from Bro. PACKY!
GHOST-POSTIE, quite TASTY; Definitely, SNACKY!
Still, PAUL'S, all, the RAGE,
Freed, from His RIB-CAGE,
Now, after STRETCHING, we'll release him, from THE RACKY!
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
u6juu ~~~ chain_saw ~~~ ggege sfsrefs ~~~ 8j68j68ju ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie In Luv
A Triple-Header, giv'n, by our young IRISH WONDER,
Created, by TV HORROR/MAURICE, with, nary, a BLUNDER;
Luv, Luv Them, DO,
They, always, ring, TRUE,
We're Grateful, to have him, here, 'tho' he tear us, ASUNDER!
u6juu ~~~ chain_saw ~~~ ggege sfsrefs ~~~ 8j68j68ju ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-*
With Our EIGHTIETH LIMERICK PAGE, filling, up, very FAST,
Our TOPIC: IRISH LIMERICKS AHEAD, won't run, out, of GAS;
27,608 times, hath IT been READ,
By, both, THE LIVING, &, THE UNDEAD,
Before Ye know it, this number will ha'e been Double-SURPASSED!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ Zombie Razz
THE Von WOLFSTEIN CURSE!
-------------------------------
A million Limericks run, through my BRAIN,
Echoes, of MONSTER PUNS, in sweet REFRAIN;
They "jig-saw puzzle", THROUGH,
I make sense, of them, for YOU,
As I print another, the Process begins, AGAIN!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
And I admit that I've reticent
with the Limericks I've never sent.
I await for the time
I again think in Rhyme
and my funny thoughts won't go unspent!
(Thank you Bennett Cerf for the folllowing)
Every Limericker is a poet
Sometimes you just wouldn't know it.
The joy we derive
from this thread staying alive
Our feet our Longfellow's and we show it!
My friend Scottie gave me a warning call,
Keep watching the skies he had some gall,
What's got under your skin to give me a ring,
Believe me friend it was a terrifying Thing,
Just scan the skies and prepare for the coming squall.
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
There, once, were some VAMPIRES, from München,
Who set a NETTE, by opening a LUNCHEON,
What helped them, by DAY, to COPE,
Was their Lustful, UNDYING, HOPE,
Of wrapping their FANGS, 'round the throat, of GISELE BUNDCHEN!
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Quote from: packy120353 on September 25, 2010, 07:01:00 PM
And I admit that I've been reticent
with the Limericks I've never sent.
I await for the time
I again think in Rhyme
and my funny thoughts won't go unspent!
(Thank you Bennett Cerf)
MICHAEL, ROW THE BOAT, ASHORE,
BENNETT, CERF/SURF THE INTERNET!
I admit, your Limerick is an inducement, ;D
To keep my brain, on its Limerick bent, ;)
I'm glad, you took the time, :D
To risk the thought, to rhyme, :-[
For that, you've nothing, to repent! :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
12 Hundred replies, in 81 pages,
Learned & Wise-Guys; UMA SAGES;
So, onward, we go,
More minds, to blow,
Our little Thread, is THE TALK, OF AGES!
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA arose, from the dead,
A wicked agenda roiling, within his head:
"I'll coat this olde mud,
With my enemies' blood;
I love it, when they make me see red!"
thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
GLORIA STUART, at 100 years, has completed her last Chore,
Passed, away, into THE LIGHT, through Earth's Final Door,
Her Spirit, EVERNOW, soaring, aloft,
Re-united, I pray, with BORIS KARLOFF;
A UMA Favourite, we are, all, now, lamentably, more, poor.
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The limericking Baron keeps running amok,
showing no sign of his words getting stuck,
refusing, with each post,
to give up the ghost,
like a movie bad guy that keeps getting up!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a man named Quasimodo,
who made a rather unflattering photo,
in a large cathedral in France,
he had a hopeless romance,
then ended up, as dead as a Dodo!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poor old Quasimodo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-*
A most reliable fellow, LONG LIVE KONG,
His turn, at bat, turned, out, very strong;
He pitched a Double-Header,
And, what could be better...
It keeps our LIMERICK Score rolling, along!
:-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-*
LLK, I LOVED your QUASIMODO LIMERICK! THANKS!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There was once a robotrix Played by a gal named Helm,
Her beauty was a joy to behold within her realm,
Tall and statuesque with her silver skin,
She flirted with the workers and bosses akin,
Leading the revolt so that they could over whelm.
:o ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ :o
DR JEKYLL was, by all accounts, one Cool DUDE,
'Tho' MR. HYDE thought him, too much, a PRUDE;
He reached the end, of Sanity's TETHER,
They expired, still, mired & stuck TOGETHER,
On that note, this LIMERICK, I'll, wisely, CONCLUDE.
:o ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE-SLAYER, named BUFFY,
She dispatched the UNDEAD, whether refined, or SCRUFFY,
Her life, filled, with such DRAMA,
Wounded her, with much TRAUMA,
Yet, she triumphed, at last, because she was a TUFFY!
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ cl:)
So, UMA, here, we are, at OCTOBER, the First,
'Tis The Gentle Season {Oh, it could be worse};
Nestled, 'tween Summer's Heat,
And, Winter's Relentless Beat,
HALLOWEEN is a Tricky Treat, rather, than a Curse.
tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ cl:)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o
OCTOBER 3rd, so, we continue our STORY,
Of a MAN, whom I met, via Dear Olde FORRY,
HUNGARIAN, by BIRTH,
An ARTIST, of GREAT WORTH,
BELA LUGOSI, born, this Day, to the UMA's GLORY!
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
We could write limericks by the reams,
And spilt the UMA into separate teams,
First there would be the haters,
Followed by the debaters,
But the one thing no one can take from us is our dreams.
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
Being {almost} Human, I make mistakes, a-plenty,
'Twas, not, the 3rd, for BELA; rather, 'tis, on day 20,
Old Brain facts, sometimes, get switched,
ST. FRANCIS' Passing occurred; I glitched,
BELA'S Birth, 3 day, 'ere mine, is what I meant-y!
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
The PUMPKIN SEASON hath, again, arrived,
Time, for them, to be bought, and, knived,
Scooped, out, then, faced,
With candle, lit, and, placed,
So, HALLOWEEN Goblins know, that, I've survived!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
On Saturday the weather was decent
so I attended the Monster Fest most recent
and met some more UMA'ers
(one had more gear than most vampire slayers)
A good start to my favorite season(t)
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
Job, and, Marriage, lessen my available time,
Currently, to spend my beleaguered dime,
On Preps, for Conventions;
Yet, my Comprehension,
Is, that, soon, enough, I'll return, in Forms, most fine!
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
With the draconian measures that he has used,
Our dear Baron cannot be defused,
So if he takes a rest,
Then it is for the best,
Leaving us all the more confused.
Zombie Confused ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused
A LIMERICK a day keeps the Baron off E-Bay,
Such treasures, they don't sell, by night or day,
Instead, he robs the Candy Store,
To sweetly spin his tales, of Gore;
It rots the Brains, of ZOMBIES, so, he can dine some more!
Zombie Confused ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
If eBay's your poison, you are not alone
Many times I spent paychecks on swag for my home
But it must be avoided
Now that I'm unemployed
So I just browse through stuff I already own
Ebay is a place that breeds temptation,
I've spent more pounds than I care to mention,
on nostalgic treasures,
and guilty pleasures,
hoarded safely 'til I reach my pension!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:-* ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-*
There, once, was a WEREWOLF, named IVAN,
Who, by all reports, is, as CRAZY, as I am,
He'd add LIMERICKS, on occasion,
Most consider them, "home invasion",
To add, to the equation, they, all, taste, like SPAM!
:-* ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Yes my poems are like home invasion
Maybe its best I take so many vacations
But what no one will guess
still I sadly must confess
In '89 I was a California Raisin
It was for a county fair that one time
I got onstage to help a buddy of mine
I wore a stuffed Hefty bag and some tights,
a skull cap, face paint, and gloves of white,
and performed "Heard it through the grapevine!"
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EGADS! Our Brother, IVAN, is a GRAPE,
Before he was a WEREWOLF, or, APE,
Shriveled and PURPLE,
Sweet, as Maple SURPLE,
But, so BIG, that, he busted the TAPE!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-*
This Day, once, brought us Joy; a Child's Birth,
JOHN LENNON, for a Time, of very great Worth,
His Gift, of Music and Love,
Reflected Light, from Above,
Today, he'd be 70; taken, too soon, from Earth.
:-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o
In Twenty-One Days, 'twill be the REASON,
Why, we celebrate our Special SEASON;
At ALL-HALLOWS'-E'EN,
I paint my skin, GREEN;
More Make-up Magic... I'm FRANKENSTEIN'S "SON"!
:o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
With the Halloween season coming we are fully booked,
Spreading limerick's among the thread but not overlooked,
While the Baron sits looking so smug,
He can report having had a great fan hug,
Yet seeing his face painted green would leave me truly spooked.
:'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'(
There, once, was a HUNCHBACK, named QUASIMODO,
Who got, really, "honked off", at CLAUDE DOM FROLLO;
When push came, to shove,
CLAUDE fell, from above;
Avenging ESMERALDA'S death, QUASIMODO'S, soon, would FOLLOW.
:'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a poor Exorcist
Who wished his car had been blessed.
He forgot to pay,
it got towed away,
And ironically REPOSSESSED!
;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ AND, THAT'S WHY WE LOVE HIM! ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D
There is a UMA TROOPER, PAUL, called PACKY,
Who contributes LIMERICKS, by the STACKY;
The CLASSIC MONSTERS, he glorifies,
Like, DRAC, FRANK, and, Their BRIDES,
Yet, his BRAIN is, still, ABBIE-NORMAL-LY WACKY!
;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ AND, THAT'S WHY WE LOVE HIM! ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
He was a Dark and Stormy Knight,
Who, UNDEAD, packed a terrible Bite;
Left a Trail, of Tears and Blood,
Across TRANSYLVANIA'S Mud,
VLAD, The Impaler, who loved, to Fight!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ :o
There, once, were Strange Species, called DINOSAURS,
Whose reign lasted millions, of years, not, mere, hours;
You'd find, out, exactly, why,
There was BLOOD, in Their Eye,
If their Hungry Gaze fell, upon you, with its unmistakable Glower!
:o ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
I, always, love, to see that Olde MONSTER Gang, of Mine,
CREATURE, DRAC, THE WOLF MAN and FRANKENSTEIN,
Whene'er I visit The UMA,
E'en, as I do, Today;
Such visits simplify Life's Meaning, 'til content, I feel FINE!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a gentleman named Gray,
Who enjoyed a decadent lifestyle persay,
As his friends aged and withed,
He remained fresh and bewildered,
By the fates demand their due that his portrait could not betray.
Happy birthday Oscar Wilde from one fellow Irishman to another.
There once was a writer named Jack,
who was afraid of being known as a hack,
so he pitched his luck,
at the hotel 'Overlook',
but the resident spooks made him crack!
~~~~~~ ggege ~~~~~~
C:) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ C:)
There, once, was a, quite, Stirring LIMERICK STEW, ededed
Starring MADMEN, who wrote, what, they KNEW; tynhrt
That, you don't do the CRIME, chain_saw
If you can't do the TIME, Zombie Shocked
With CLASSIC MONSTERS, unafraid, to BOO-HOO! :'(
C:) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ C:)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G. :-*
There once was a fellow named dwight
whose train flew faster than light
Down the rails he would drive
and so would arrive
before he even left sight
I knew a short werewolf from whitehead
Whose werewolf clock was really quite dead
someone dropped their pants
He began his mad dance
because he saw the full moon overhead
WELCOME, To The New BLOOD: DR. MADD!
;D ~~~~ :D ~~~ :) ~~ ;) ~~ :) ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;D
LIMERICKS, to be Good, must be BAD,
To make READERS, Happy, not, SAD,
This NEW KID, in our UMA TOWN,
Can coax a Smile, from a FROWN,
Can't refrain, He, from being Zany, DR. MADD!
;D ~~~~ :D ~~~ :) ~~ ;) ~~ :) ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Thanks. I will also be , if you wish, your culinary advisor.
Quote from: Dr. Madd on October 17, 2010, 05:55:04 PM
Thanks. I will also be , if you wish, your culinary advisor.
Thank you, DR. MADD,
Count me in!
And, feel free, by all means, to continue, to cook, up, some, more, o' your tasty LIMERICKS, about MONSTERS, whether, CLASSIC, or, not.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
DR. MADD, unlike, Pres. NIXON, is, not, a CROOK,
I've espied other Threads, to find proof, he's a COOK,
His Wife, MRS. MADD, when I've asked HER,
Says HUBBY knows the RECIPE, FOR DISASTER,
And, in fact, to that CULINARY END, is writing a BOOK!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Good Baron BGG of poems is really quite keen
and there is no end to be seen
If you log into this thread
Lots of prose to be read
In the confines of your PC screen
Zombie Razz ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Razz
We're wending our way, towards the 30,000 MARK,
Cool, for LIMERICKS, which, mostly, refer, to the DARK;
Our READERS have visited 28,316 TIMES;
Interest sustained; 'tis a wee bit SUBLIME,
To the few MONSTER MADMEN, who pen, for a LARK!
Zombie Razz ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The zombies lurched into a mall
to feed their hunger's grim call
They munched on the shoppers
all hacked up with choppers
and didn't stop till they devoured them all.
Scatter, Charp13 and unknown primate I admire,
They have been motivated to lose weight because they tire,
So we should support them in their quest,
By shouting encouragement that they'll do their best,
Although I suspect that they are not alone as we too could aspire.
P.S
I'm behind your efforts 100%, good luck.
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
THE UNIVERSAL MONSTERS, tossed, on a Flaming PYRE,
Return, like, COUNT DRACULA, from his DUSTY PILE,
They are UNDYING; UNDEAD,
Like, my FMOFs, oft, RE-READ,
Because, you know: CLASSICS, NEVER, GO, OUT, OF STYLE!
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;D
At last! Once, again, 'tis OCTOBER TWENTY;
A date, Beloved, by MONSTER KIDS, A-PLENTY!
For BELA LUGOSI was BORN,
This day, in a Land, FOREIGN,
To portray COUNT DRACULA, &, Other such GENTRY!
;D ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D
"Where have you been, TIMMY?" You might well ask.
No, I've, not been buried, in some alcoholic flask!
A Spirit, much stronger,
Kept me, away, longer,
WE celebrated our 2nd HONEY-MOON; a Glorious Task!
;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Congrats on the honeymoon, and anniversary
I'd send you some spirits, but t'would be merely cursory
Your gift is each other
You're lucky, my brother
I wish you love and many more happy Octobersaries!
:-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
I thankee, Br'er IVAN, for your kind Blessings,
Thoughtful, indeed, your insightful Confessings;
So many Great October Events,
As I reflect, upon my Life's Contents;
My Life, with BETH, Salad-Days, sans Dressing! ;)
:-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Chinese Restaurant
Soft music,
The Flute and Koto
Accompanying the orchestra of sizzling woks
Mongolian grills and Soup kettles
The roasty, frying aroma of fresh egg rolls
Mingling in the atmosphere
With the lusty phantoms of garlic,
Onion and Soy Sauce
The cool, hard wooden feel of the chopsticks
And the steaming smoothness of the teacup
Sunrise orange carrots rising over a forest of
Bokchoy, cabbage, celery, scallions and green peppers
Beef, pork, shrimp, fish, chicken, duck- A whole menagerie of flavor
Washed down by the warm tea and cold soda
Wisdom passed down from cookie to diner.....
After dinner naptime.
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-*
I, too, have dined, upon CHINESE Delicacies, 7 courses, entire,
Your recent description, stirs my Soul, to poetry, good Squire,
Your delight, to my eye,
Makes my Taste-Buds fly,
Soaring, to Memories, of STIR-FRY, that could SZECHUAN FIRE!
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Ti's the season of the witch,
And Miss Montgomery had a nose twitch,
If witches looked like her then sign me on,
Her beauty was radiant like a bright neon,
While her mother Endora approved of Selena in a switch.
Riddle me this: What has a cat's grin at this time of year?
Answer: The baron home from his second honeymoon.
Let me add my best wishes to both you and your lovely wife Beth, and I hope that you have many evermore.
Quote from: tv horror on October 27, 2010, 06:14:38 PM
Ti's the season of the witch,
And Miss Montgomery had a nose twitch,
If witches looked like her then sign me on,
Her beauty was radiant like a bright neon,
While her mother Endora approved of Selena in a switch.
Riddle me this: What has a cat's grin at this time of year?
Answer: The baron home from his second honeymoon.
Let me add my best wishes to both you and your lovely wife Beth, and I hope that you have many evermore.
In every human there are two sides
That together must live and abide
That idea you'd heckle if your name's Dr. Jekyll
and your roomate is Mr. Hyde
In ye-olde town of Salem TV-LAND made a present
of Elizabeth Montgomery's witch effervescent
I have seen by chance a
statue of Samantha;
made of bronze she flies past the moon's crescent!
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs903.snc4/71633_1586279930532_1041805702_1662654_3967047_n.jpg)
In the place where monster lovers tread,
there is news that the baron is two years wed,
we have a new member, Dr.Mad,
who's style of prose isn't half bad,
a most worthy addition to our limerick thread!!
~~~~~CONGRATS HERR BARON!~~~~~
You, all, keep bringing excellent life, to this olde Thread; keep it up!
;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D
To, all, o' my TRUE BRETHREN, I offer Sincerest THANKS,
Here's an additional LIMERICK, instead, of painful SPANKS,
If ye ha'e, not, HEARD -
# 62, on OCTOBER 23rd;
BIRTHDAY + ANNIVERSARY, A Celebration, o' ye Highest RANKS!
;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I myself had an October birthday
Twas number 41, lest you count my first day
So I share your elation
of a month-long celebration
Now if only I could rhyme this last verse, eh?
Happy belated birthday 1van,
You are most definitely the main man,
Now if only you had found the rhyme for day,
We would be looking for come what may,
So as it stands you are a werewolf's greatest fan.
:D ~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~ :D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :D ~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~ :D
A BARON, and, an IVAN, reportedly, both, SOBER,
Celebrate, annually, their BIRTHDAYS, in OCTOBER;
Their JACK-O-LANTERN GRIN,
'Tho, on Occasion, wearing THIN,
Provides warmth, in WINTER; Others SHIVER and GO: "BRRRR!"
:D ~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~ :D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :D ~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~ :D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Of Lim'ricks I've written quite a few
but it looks like I've published just two
so here is a third
and it's looking quite good
and I'm doing my part for this thread
Dr. Frankenstein caused quite a stir
When His creature came alive with a "grrr"
As he saw the hand writhe
He cried out "It's alive"
As his machines crackled and whirred
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
I'm happy, to tell you, now, instead, of LATER:
HALLOWEEN is, still, a load, of fun; GREATER,
Than, when I was a CHILD,
And, I did Make-Ups, WILD,
Today, I turned a LADY, into a TERMINATOR!
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ >:D ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~~ :o
I wish you, all, a Safe and HAPPY HALLOWEEN;
Paint demons, in red, and, MONSTERS, in GREEN;
This Day goes, so FAST,
Even, as, in years, PAST,
Our HALLOWEEN-TOWN Time is GREENWICH, MEAN!
:o ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ >:D ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
lover's of classic horror love to be seen,
Especially at this time of year they must look lean,
However there was one hungry gent,
I approached because I was sent,
He grabbed me by the throat and then started upon my spleen.
Here's one I did a couple years back - especially for this day...
"The Hangover"
Jack O Lantern's visage cracks,
spirit drowned in melted wax.
November one
I see the sun
Morning falls like gallows ax!
Out of our beds we silent creep
Fill robes pockets - last night's reap.
Breakfast bars -
Hershey and Mars
Sweet repast, while giants sleep!
Oh, Aye, PACKY PAUL! Upon Page Six & Twenty t'were! Followed, by my offering, o' the day:
ALL-HALLOWS'-E'EN, again, It's course hath run,
With November 1st's Birth, o' ALL SAINTS' Sun,
But, "you know, that, I would be a liar",
Were I, to preach, that, JACK-O-LANTERN'S Fire,
Extinguished, meant, that, our Unhallowed Night was done!
----------------------------------------------------------------
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY & THE BARON & THE MONSTER & FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD-D!, B.G.G.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Von WOLFSTEIN FANG-MILY Off'ring, o' Nov. 1st, A.D. 2010:
hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Razz
We, now, address NOVEMBER, The FIRST;
HALLOWEEN'S done, in; we lift ITS CURSE,
'Course, we ain't no Proper DUMMY;
Always, room, for one more MUMMY,
& VAMPIRES, MONSTERS & BLOBS, that BURST!
hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Don't forget the Cardinal rule
And don't count out November's ghoul!
Through bells we hear it
the Christmas Spirit...
spread good cheer you'll rule the Yule!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA sighed, as he put the Candy, away:
"HALLOVEEN'S Done; flown by, for another year, today!"
"Not many kids come, to call,
As Ve live, so far, out, and, all;
The Trade-Off, of a visit, here -Blood Loss, or, Tooth Decay!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There is beauty to be had within the various visual arts,
Especially literature where the librarian among the books darts,
Here and there they duck looking for that lost tome,
But if you take the noble art of acting under the theatre dome,
You'll find Frankenstein's monster was a man of many parts.
ANIMAL CRACKERS, IN MY {DUCK} SOUP are producing LIMERICKS, IN MY SLEEP!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
SPAGHETTI WESTERN MEETS SPACE OPERA;
STARWARSKY & HUTCH, Directed by FRANK CAPRA;
Starring SODA & ILLBUYONE CANOLI,
LUKE FLYSWATTER & PLAYON BONANZA;
With its renowned Musical Score, by FRANK ZAPPA!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
70 days is what it takes
for a mummy by priests to make
those fellows are trained
to remove a man's brain
up the nose with a spoon and then rake!
With a wink of the eye and a wicked grin,
Count Drac proclaimed "I'll make you king!"
but Renfield's prize,
was to feast on flies,
behind the cold stone walls of the loony bin!
~~~~~~ thrhrt~~~~~~
Some felonious cyber-crook
has hacked my identity on facebook
Having a devil of a time
re-establishing myself online
So please excuse me whilst I fight for what they took
:o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D
WOW! FOUR LIMERICKS, produced, in One, Single, DAY!
I'm most Thank-Full, that, you, all, came, out, to PLAY;
MUMMIES' BRAINS and RENFIELD,
CLASSIC PUNS, From LEFT FIELD;
May IVAN'S Hacker learn, that, CRIME DOES, NOT, PAY!
:o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ :o
There, once, were some MONSTERS, called "THEM",
If they bit you, you would cough, up, GREEN FLEM;
To the Doctor's you'd go,
As your Tentacles would grow,
You'd develop a taste, for Human Flesh, mixed, with M&Ms!
:o ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;)
I, recently, saw a Giant CYCLOPS, Zombie Alien
Riding, astride, a TRICERATOPS! ???
With a jolt, I AWOKE; :o
As I'd spilled, all, my COKE - :'(
Made a fizzy mess, of my SUGAR POPS! >:(
;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
My boss is an ass, tis a fact
He just doesn't know how to act
His workers he makes glum
With policies dumb
Until his head we all want to crack.
:o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ::)
I empathize, with your plight, DOCTOR MADD,
For having, to endure a witless Boss, so BAD;
From the Dregs, of the GENE-POOL,
They chose such Fools, to RULE;
Stupid, yes; yet, not, as Cruel, as our PRINCE VLAD!
:o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Our boss is a turn of the ratchet
And when he arrives we all catch it
Until we conspire
and he raises our ire
and we lop off his head with a hatchet.
::) ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :'(
There, once, was a WEREWOLF, named Björn,
Whose double nature was, regrettably, forlorn.
'Twas the infants, he'd infect,
At great cost, to his self-respect;
For biting wee Bairns, they burned Björn, in the barn.
::) ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
As a TOPIC, to fill our UMA Army, with DREAD,
Our Quaint WARNING: IRISH LIMERICKS AHEAD,
Has amassed, now, 86 pages, ON-LINE;
Boasts being Read, for the 28,926th TIME,
I could write them, FOREVER; but, then, I'M UNDEAD!
thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
THE UMA'S "LOOK" hath undergone an "UP-GRADE";
Our Evolution's next Step, on-line, hath been MADE,
Still, ye same olde FANG-MILY, of FRIENDS,
Despite, this recent Plus, in TECHNO-TRENDS;
In The Grave-Digger's Trade, a spade is, still, a SPADE!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Werewolf known as The Baron
Entertains with the limericks he's sharin'
So shout it out loud
He makes Monster Kids proud
Thank Gods & Monsters for Timothy Herron
This Irishman's name is Maurice
And he's a limerick spouting beast
UMA's Tv Horror
Is a talented ROARer
Whose words in my mind are a feast
His limericks never are lazy
Even when the full moon's a bit hazy
Like a warped Dr. Seuss
This monster lets loose
No doubt that this Ivan is Crazy
This Grimsby gorilla's a Brit
His limericks have been quite a hit
With words like a song
Long live, LONG LIVE KONG
Keep roaring out your English wit
The limericks here are so rad
Reading them makes me quite glad
Now I've noticed some others
From our Monster Brothers
Like Uncula, Packy & Madd
Such high praise makes me quite irate
So this part I must reiterate;
though plenty of poetry is fair
the good ones are exceedingly rare
like the hair, of an unknown primate
Our crew is a fright to be sure
Our love of monsters there is never a cure
UP, Ivan and Baron
Love all things dark and scarin'
With Madd's machinery causing a whir.
:) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-*
WOWSERS! Talk, about a WINDFALL INCREASE!
I am, most, THANK-FULL, for this HOLIDAY FEAST;
I've, recently, been a bit LURKY,
Now, I'm claimed a Prize TURKEY;
LLK, &, ALL, let's PUN, onward, and, not, CEASE!
:) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
In the midst of the Amazon, in a murky water hole,
swims a man with gills, and a troubled lonely soul,
part man, frog and fish,
with a universal wish,
to find a lovely bride, and raise his own tadpole!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zombie LOL ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ Zombie LOL
There, once, was a WISE MAN, who had a Fine DREAM;
A LAND, Of MONSTER KIDS - The Thought made him BEAM!
He could spin a great STORY,
Without having, to be GORY,
Our UNCLE FORRY, whose frightful delight, made us SCREAM!
Zombie LOL ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
We approach the Day, known, as THANKS-GIVING,
To ponder & reflect, on our Blessings, of LIVING;
A couple, of days, PRIOR,
We light BIRTHDAY FIRE -
BORIS & SARA KARLOFF, part, o' The UMA's WELL-SPRING!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
THE CLASSIC MONSTERS seem, to some, a STREAM,
Devoid, of meaning, like, a long-forgotten DREAM;
In our Consciousness, They live, ON,
EVERNOW, Timeless, and, STRONG,
In us, They Glow; more precious, than Gold, Their GLEAM!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA said, to His slave, RENFIELD:
"Out, of MINA'S remaining Blood, CONGEALED,
A VAMPIRE Kingdom, I'll CREATE;
Her victims, UNDEAD, shall be; too LATE,
To turn, away! Their souls, to me, they'll YIELD!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 29,285 times)
Add another 715 reads, and, we hit 30,000! ... COOL, GHOULS!
tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :-*
Up, and, down, this List, of Topics, we RIDE,
Our Thread, our beaming Joy, and, PRIDE;
'Tho', battered, we, still, PROLONG,
Our Mad Experiment, going STRONG;
One moment, DR. JEKYLL; the next, MR. HYDE!
tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ C:) ~~~ >:D ~~~ C:) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D
There once was a demon, named BAAL;
Hell-born, his heart was, quite, STALE,
He'd lie, cheat and DECEIVE,
Without power, to BELIEVE,
That, GOOD Triumphs, EVERNOW, without FAIL!
;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ C:) ~~~ >:D ~~~ C:) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
Into LONDON, at CHRISTMAS, flew COUNT DRACULA,
To buy, for His BRIDES' Wardrobes; Panties and BRAS;
Shopping, at VICTORIA'S SECRET,
He had, absolutely, no REGRETS;
In fact, He, merrily, sang: "FA-LA-LA-LA-LAH, LA-LA-LA-LAH!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Rabbi Loew was in quite a fix
The King wanted them out on the sixth
But he wanted to stay,
made a man made of clay
and made Prague cringe at his tricks.
Der Golem was given its life
to save the Jews from undue strife
but then the stars were aligned
(just like the monster of Frankenstein)
it rebelled, for it wanted a wife
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
We turn, now, to MONSTERS, of CLAY,
Who, properly, used, "Saved The DAY";
Clay, as an "Old-School" TOOL,
Still, makes modern GHOULS;
Try some - You can do it, Your WAY!
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :blank: ~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ :)
The CLAY, dug, up, by CRAZY IVAN and DR. MADD,
Was {Mud-}PACKED, with detail, for which, I'm GLAD;
I, some years, ago, played RABBI LOEW,
In a brilliant scripting, of THE GOLEM SHOW,
A most challenging, satisfying role; once, over, left me, SAD. :'(
:) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :blank: ~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Cool work.. Bust of the Golem of Prague coming shortly.
Very cool Tim, that you starred in a play
with attention to the famed man of clay
Wish I could have seen it
(yes I really do mean it)
You put your all in each role you portray!
Thank you BROTHER IVAN, for the kind observation;
And, you, too, DR. MADD, for your faithful input!
Here's one, which I wrote a couple, of days, ago, in regards, to IVAN {I'd not noticed DR. MADD'S related composition}.
On my next stop, to UMA, I saw it, and, added my previous LIMERICKS:
"We turn, now, to MONSTERS, of CLAY,..." & "The CLAY, dug, up, by CRAZY IVAN and DR. MADD,..."
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ :-*
BR'ER IVAN returneth, to breathe NEW LIFE,
Into our Thread's Clay; DER GOLEM, with SPICE;
'Tis a Conjugal VISIT,
Wedded, to LIMERICK IDJITS,
MAD MONSTERS, Fried, with a Side, o' LICE!
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
'Twas a quirk, o' Celestial Timing - a BLUE MOON,
Rare, like, a CREATURE, FROM THE BLACK LAGOON;
Rarer, still, that such a NIGHT,
Accompanied the speedy FLIGHT,
O' A.D. 2010's giddy jump; spun, & done, too SOON!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
This day, The UMA SINGERS belt, out, this Joyful CHORUS:
"HAPPY BIRTHDAYS, to, both, Dearest SARA and BORIS!"
She's been our OOTMAH;
He, too, played a "MA"*,
As well as, THE MUMMY, a pawn, of ISIS, OSIRIS & HORUS!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
* MOTHER MUFFIN / WILD, WILD WEST
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt
KHARIS, THE MUMMY, came, to AMERICA;
He wrought a great amount, of HYSTERIA!
Full Moons and TANA LEAF TEA,
Terrorized THE LAND, OF THE FREE,
'Til they substituted his TEA, with PERRIER!
tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) THE SIMILARITIES, Between MONSTER-KIDS and TURKEYS! :o
And, Other Flightless Non-Sequitors! ;)
u6juu ~ u6juu ~ u6juu ~ u6juu ~ u6juu ~ u6juu ~ u6juu
We give Constant THANKS, for The DIVINE GRACE, of LIVING;
For Every Chance, to Celebrate, our MONSTER-KID GIVING!
THE UMA Pretends, to be UNDEAD,
But, when, all, is DONE and SAID;
We're, like, THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN! {Thanks, WASHINGTON IRVING! >:( }
u6juu ~ u6juu ~ u6juu ~ u6juu ~ u6juu ~ u6juu ~ u6juu
HAPPY THANKS-GIVING, To My FANG-MILY, B.G.G.
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
Olde SCROOGE, 'twas told, was bound, for hell;
MARLEY'S sad Spirit knew that truth, all, too well;
3 CHRISTMAS GHOSTS were sent,
So, that, EBENEEZER might repent;
He awoke, to LIFE, freed, from his greedy shell!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The poor tired cyclops was weeping
His sheep were in his tummy for safekeeping
eyedrops were required
for when he was tired
he kept an eye open when sleeping
Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien
I laughed, at reading, of DR. MADD'S CYCLOPS,
His circuitous logic is pure KEYSTONE COPS!
His LACHRYMAL DUCTS,
Took, to Water, like, DUCKS,
Whilst his LAMBS got, to practice their CHOPS!
Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The nearsighted Cyclops was Hysterical
If he could see it was a miracle
No glasses were found
with one lens around
So old Cike took to wearing a monocle.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
I viewed the extended version, of AVATAR, in colours bright;
Impressive theme, shimmering, in the lens, of star-light,
A Grand Scale; where, Monsters were true men, sir,
And shallow men, proved themselves, Monsters;
FRANKENSTEIN, again; it struck the Chord, of our Endless Plight.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Minotaur was a hungry old brute
Every years 10 maids and 10 youths
were fed in the maze
wandered round in a haze
so old horn head could have his fast food.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 29772 times)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm, usually, not, one, to PREACH, ::)
Or, to say, that: " Life's a BEACH!" >:(
Imagine KING KONG, ;)
In a Speedo THONG, :o
Well, UMA, in 200+, 30,000, we'll REACH! ;D :laugh: :)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
As DRACULA sank his fangs, into her tender neck,
He mused: "She's, not, my type, but, vat der heck!"
In three days, she rose, UNDEAD,
Out, for Blood, or, so, she said;
In her vengeance, she left CASTLE DRACULA a wreck!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
There once was a CLOWNE, a Very FINE ONE,
Who viewed The Future, in a GLASS ONION;
He saw, all, The PAST,
In his LOOKING-GLASS,
And, Quipped: "Back, then, I was a YOUNG ONE!"
::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
'Tis, now, the very cold, late, Month, o' DECEMBER,
When our Year hath burned, down, to an EMBER;
Yet, what can one, really, SAY,
As Frozen Days melt, AWAY,
Save: In DECEMBER, REMEMBER, TO SAY "BR-R-R-R!"
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt
I recently, ran, into COUNT DRACULA,
He said: "I've been craving a SNACKULA!"
"The BLOOD, of a VIRGIN,
Tastes, like, DETERGENT!"
So, he bit my Butt, but, it blew my FISTULA!
thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
To write a limerick should not be tough,
to spin five lines straight off the cuff,
but Baron Timmy must be blessed,
or maybe he's just possessed,
when will he ever write enough??
~~~~ Your Limerick enthusiasm knows no bounds! ~~~~
~~ Keep them coming!!~~
To Kill a zombie one aims for the head
To make sure they return to the dead
But if by chance you
should fail to aim true
they turn about to eat you instead
LONG LIVE KONG Scribed:
To write a limerick should not be tough,
to spin five lines straight off the cuff,
but Baron Timmy must be blessed,
or maybe he's just possessed,
when will he ever write enough??
~~~~ Your Limerick enthusiasm knows no bounds! ~~~ Keep them coming!!~~
My Sincerest THANKS, LONG LIVE KONG!
My LIMERICK Madness resides, in THE OUTER LIMITS, of THE TWILIGHT ZONE!
Mua-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Et-Cetera!
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
There was, once, a MUTANT DUCK, named SHAQ,
Who, as a DOKTOR, was a Notorious QUACK,
They plucked, all, of his FEATHERS;
Froze him, to death, in FOUL WEATHER;
Newspaper Headlines screamed: SHAQ ATTACK!
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
:laugh: Thank you, LLK & DR MADD, for more fine contributions! ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :angel:
LIMERICKS need, less, than, 40, to reach the BIG 3-0; :o
That means, 30,000 total reads, thus far, doncha know! ;)
Thanks, to, all, of our subscribers, :-*
Both, UMA insiders and outsiders, :laugh:
You'll be pleased, that, there's a mere 970,000, to GO! >:( :( :o
:angel: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :angel:
So, here, we are, 'tis, now, DECEMBER SIXTH,
Of, All, THE CLASSIC MONSTERS {take your PICK},
I have performed, as, almost, EVERY ONE;
I've been THE HOLY, too {i.e., GOD'S SON};
Sans MAKE-UP, now, I pass, for JOLLY OLDE SAINT NICK!
:angel: ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
On a foggy London night,
I often approach women in flight,
Good evening my dear,
Is how I greet those in fear,
Promise me a good time and you'll do just right.
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
December, the Eight; of years, now, passed, THIRTY,
JOHN LENNON'S tragic murder, at a Youthful FORTY;
JOHN'S Amazing Career's Wild RIDE,
Ceased, with bullets, deep, INSIDE;
A MONSTER'S Madness, mocked his Truth, killing THE SIXTIES.
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was was a VAMPIRE, from PRAGUE,
Who was, by far, dumber, than a Bump, on a LOG,
He tried, to get BLOOD, from DER GOLEM,
'Til The Golem threw him, down the SLALOM;
They found the VAMPIRE'S decayed remains, in a BOG!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Dracula's castle became a ruined wreck,
So attractting girl's needed a lot of knack,
Once and awhile he ventured out,
Searching for the opposite sex all about,
But on seeing his home they shouted what the bloody heck.
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
I saw, today, THE GHOST, OF CHRISTMAS, PAST,
With my stash, of olde FMOFs; WHAT A BLAST!!
Then, my Olde Yule FRIEND,
Retrieved them, once, AGAIN;
She left me, with The Present, of Memories, that LAST!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ "GOD Bless Us, EVERYONE!" Said TINY TIM. ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
This Morning's Headlines screamed: "20 INCHES OF SNOW!"
MINNEAPOLIS hit, by a BLOB-LIKE BLANKET, that GROWS;
Beloved UMA Contingency;
Led, by GENERAL TERRY,
This BARON'S Prayers are, that, Ye triumph, over WINTER'S WOES!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ "GOD Bless Us, EVERYONE!" Said TINY TIM. ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
There, once, was a COMIC STRIP, called: "POGO",
Whose odd Characters exerted Popular MOJO,
Their most unassailable THRUST:
"We have met the enemy & he is US!"
"SWALLER DOLLAR CAULIFLOWER ALLAGAROO!" HO-HO-HO!
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
When COUNT DRACULA left TRANSYLVANIA,
He wanted, to take a FAST TRAIN, YEH!
With, really, nothing, to DO,
The entire night, THROUGH,
He honed his guitar skills, by playing Malagueña.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a Giant Plant, called THE TRIFFID,
With Habits, most, GNARLY, &, Breath, most, FETID;
They arrived, from OUTER SPACE,
Nearly, took, over, Our PLACE;
Relief! Sea-Water dissolved Them; of Them, we're WELL-RID!
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Oh sweetum's she cried,
Before Dracula did in his coffin reside,
Have you forgotten my nightly kiss,
Of course not I am most remiss,
Good night my sweet buxom bride.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
Poor Miss MINA, once, she has been BITTEN,
By COUNT DRACULA, she is, evermore, SMITTEN;
Her Blood, now, HIS,
Typical VAMPIRE BIZ;
She'll crave the Blood, of Babies, &, e'en, KITTENS!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
>:( ~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:D ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:(
When DR. JEKYLL said: "I'm not evil.", he LIED;
For he'd, already, sold his Soul, to MR. HYDE.
Unable, now, to escape this ADDICTION;
His damaged Psyche engaged, in FICTION.
With his death, those who'd loved him, CRIED.
>:( ~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:D ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ cl:) ~~~ hmjfym
This latest THOUSAND Readings has been flying, by, FAST;
Been read 30,907 times! {We won't run out of GAS! ;) }
Our DEAD-ICATED UMA CREW,
Whether, OLDE, or, NEW,
Will continue, to provide YOU, with LIMERICKS, FIRST-CLASS!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ cl:) ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Have we really reached another yule?
Tim, Maurice, Madd, and Kong still drive this mule
Not that I haven't the mind
to continue scripting rhyme,
But lately I've been busy in school
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
Affirmative, BR'ER IVAN, We ha'e reached another YULE;
'Tis, why, We, o' LIMERICK Nature, can play the FOOLE:
In, merely, three months, HENCE,
Our 3rd Anniversary shalt COMMENCE,
O' Our Continued Celebration, via this 5-Rhymed TOOL!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There's nothing more that I like than a good roasting,
However it is to my rhyming friends I am toasting,
It is a simple life we lead,
Where our fun is supplied on need,
So to all their talents I am gladly boasting.
A tropical island is Moreau's laboratory
Mixed up critters all told the sad story
The Panther woman , dog man
They all grabbed that madman
where they dragged was the dissectory.
If I wind up on Moreaus's isle I will obey the Laws
even though on certain I nights seek meat and have paws
To disobey would seem truly insane
lest I enjoy torture in his house of pain
But where else am I supposed to go; Oz?
:angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-X ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;)
A MARRIAGE, of CHATTY KATHY & BvW, LIMERICK BLEND!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I met a man, today, from TRANSYLVANIA.
He said: "Believe me, or, else, I'll BRAIN YA!"
We think, of DRACULA and ALL.
I just heard a WEREWOLF'S CALL!
People, at BORGO PASS, ride The TRAINS, YEAH!
:angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-X ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;)
By The Way, he didn't have fangs... until, he bit my neck!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
They lived by a code and were each unique,
their barmy forms could cause a shriek,
but hurt their pride and honor,
and you may just be a goner,
behold Todd Browning's clan of FREAKS!!!
~~~~~~ We accept you, one of us! Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble! ~~~~~~
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There was, once, quite, a MIDNIGHT DREARY,
Which graveled, on, like, Olde WALLACE BEERY;
I tried, to sleep; my COFFIN-LID, TIGHT,
Especially, whence came the MORNING LIGHT,
Van HELSING, opened my Crypt, to find me, TEARY!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
There, once, was a HOLY BABY, to be BORN,
Whilst the World was sad and FORLORN,
He appeared, 'neath a STAR,
In olde Bethlehem, FAR,
To rejoice, that, from our sins, we've been TORN.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Praise the lord on that.
>:D ~~~ >:( ~~~ :( ~~~ :) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
Olde SCROOGE was visited, by GHOSTS, THREE;
Who tried, from his private hell, to set him, FREE,
With GHOSTS, PAST & PRESENT,
He won the resolve, to REPENT;
Plus, CHRISTMAS FUTURE'S Visit was TOO SCARY!
>:D ~~~ >:( ~~~ :( ~~~ :) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
A GENTLEMAN, TRUE!
-------------------------------
;) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;)
There's a Jolly Soul, Loved, by, all, called, ST. NICK,
Who's known, to exhibit a really marvelous TRICK;
By, placing his finger, ASIDE, of his NOSE,
I've read, that: "Up the chimney, he ROSE";
Takes him, much, farther, than, using his finger, to PICK!
;) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;)
"MERRIE CHRISTMAS, TO, ALL, AND, TO, ALL, A GOOD NIGHT!"
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
With arms like tree trunks and a chest like a barrel
the giant burst into town, intending to scare all
Though he's unrestive
he's seasonally festive;
it's Troll, the ancient yuletide carol!
Merry Christmas and happy Holidays to all, and everyone else too!
Plan 9 was the Aliens plan
To conquer the world of man
But with Vampira and Tor
It was undone before
and Now They have to make up Plan 10.
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
The Day, after CHRISTMAS; the Snow is, fiercely, A-FALLIN';
Mayhap, no work, on ye Morrow, as, deep, is the WALLIN'!
I DIG it, on several levels, 'tis TRUE,
As, more, cometh, still, I shalt not RUE,
With Upper-50's predicted, by Saturday; I pray, NO STALLIN'!
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, to FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER, didst TALK;
As through the Hills, of VASARIA, they didst, slowly, WALK;
"Of THE CLASSIC MONSTERS, I'm OLDER!"
THE MONSTER, then, spaketh, BOLDER:
"But, my Novel is older; 'tis the Reason, at your Logic, I BALK!"
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :angel:
Heed, not, ye Strange Title: WARNING: IRISH LIMERICKS AHEAD,
For, by many a Brave UMA-er, hast IT been 31,705 times READ;
Although, one scant week REMAINS,
I call, all, o' Ye Mad LIMERICK BRAINS,
To Celebrate Limericks, so, by JAN. 1st, 32,000+ will Tread our THREAD!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a evil GHOST, named, BART,
Who, madly, dabbled, in the diabolical ARTS;
'Til he went, into SPASMS,
Of Tornadic ECTOPLASM;
The Winds ripped his Sheet & coagulated as F Zombie Censored RTS!
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
THE WEREWOLF, OF LONDON, was, tragically, DOOMED,
To wander, through a vile life, of accursed FULL MOONS;
Part demon; part MAN,
Stuck, in the QUICKSAND,
Of hell's voracious appetite; his poor Soul, CONSUMED!
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WE BROKE THE 32,000 + MARK, SEVERAL DAYS, PRIOR TO NEW YEAR'S DAY!!!
thrhrt ~~~ chain_saw ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ chain_saw ~~~ thrhrt
That olde Fiend, COUNTESS ELIZABETH BATHORY,
Once, tried, to torture, and, then, LAUGH, AT ME;
A real BLOOD-BATH,
She cut me, IN HALF,
Now, I pay half-price, in various CATEGORIES!
thrhrt ~~~ chain_saw ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ chain_saw ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There was a man named Attila the Hun,
who had a strange idea of fun.
his favourite past time,
was committing war crimes,
though some say his infamy, is overdone.
~~~~~~~
There was a man by the name of Hannibal,
who rather than being a cannibal,
marched over the Alps,
to collect Roman scalps,
that cunning Carthaginian General!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yo Hannibal! RAH!
THE HAPPIEST, HEALTHIEST & MOST BLESSED, O' NEW YEARS, To ALL, O' Our UMA FANG-MILY!!!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
This Wondrous Year, A.D. TWO THOUSAND And TEN,
Hath, quite, suddenly, reached its Spiraling END;
May A.D. TWO THOUSAND And ELEVEN,
Grace, to Us, Great Degree, of HEAVEN;
Finding GOODNESS, in every Stranger and FRIEND!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
We wish you a happy joyous new year,
From both sides of my personality with a tear,
Another year has past and I always think of those absent,
Even those celebrities who have passed whose talent we have lent,
I am honoured to be a member of the UMA of that I have no fear.
Happy New Year
Upon retirement I've become something of a slob;
a poor one at that, as I still need a job
Here's hoping this century's eleventh
sees me finding some kind of employmenth
lest I completely transform into the Blob!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :angel:
My Beloved, BETH, and, I, took a New Year's TRIP,
To one, of our romantic places: "Hooray, Hip, HIP!"
The first night went FINE,
The 2nd, I lost my SHINE;
Nasty Cold Virus shut me, down; Severe NASAL DRIP!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA sprang, into Fearsome ACTION,
Refusing, to use some insipid CONTRACTION;
"I VILL; not, I VON'T!"
"And, I DO, not, I DON'T!"
His Fangs bit His tongue; so, he put it, in TRACTION!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S Intended BRIDE was, all, FLUSTERED;
"I can, not, Marry, that MONSTER!" She SHUDDERED.
So, she turned, to her DOC,
But, alas, He did BALK;
"WE BELONG DEAD!" Was, all, THE MONSTER UTTERED!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Out of the cold December night,
There came a cry of fright,
Help me please I've been here all week,
And how may I help you in what you seek,
It's these jeans they've grown to tight!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
The Wise EGYPTOLOGIST, an olde MUMMY, UNEARTHED;
Read, from THE SACRED SCROLL: The Dead, RE-BIRTHED!
A quickly ADMINISTERED,
TANA LEAF TEA ENEMA,
Returned THE MUMMY, to his Sarcophagus; The Spell, REVERSED!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:laugh: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :laugh:
There, once, was a Witch, named SAMANTHA, :-*
Who got married, to DARRIN, a MAN, THAT, :-[
Finding, out, went, into SHOCK, :o
{This was TV, Pre-MR. SPOCK!} ;D
Happy Ending; they had a Child, named TABITHA! ;)
:laugh: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Reading UMA WRITERS' Limericks, I must say: "WOW!"
We, shamelessly, MILK IT, but, still, keep the COW!
Cross-Breeding MONSTERS And PUNS,
Whether, by Moonlight, or, Noon-SUN,
We keep this WEIRD FUN, Alive, {or, Undead} EVERNOW!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead, Read 32800 times
*** 200 more Reads, until we reach 33,000! ***
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Story of Dr. Mirakle- oh what a thrilla!
A tale of a man and his gorilla
A grim smorgasboard
Down in the Rue Morgue
A mad triumph of the willa.
THE SHADOW OF DEATH A Limerick!!
As I walked through the Shadow of Death
My thoughts were gone, my sight even less
But He blessed me and saw me through
As I knew that He could do
Do I praise Him? A resounding YES!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
There, once, was a CREATURE, called THE GILL-MAN, Zombie No Smile
Who, so Aquatic, Swam, even, better, than he RAN, Zombie Grin
The Gal he desired, to KISS, Zombie In Luv
Thought he looked, like a FISH; Zombie Blush
&, despite so much sun exposure, he needed a TAN! Zombie LOL
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ ::) ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
I've been watching Great Episodes, of DR. WHO;
His 9th "Incarnation", with Monsters and GOO!
Clever, those BRITS,
Full, of Drama & WIT;
Cozy way, to spend an Ev'ning! "I say! WHOO-WHO!"
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ ::) ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
I celebrate two wonderful people, of great WORTH,
My DAD & My MOM, on these days, of their BIRTH;
Mom's; A.D. 1913, January 13th,
Dad's; A.D. 1914, January 14th;
Both, Born, into THE EVERNOW, of LIGHT, LOVE & TRUTH!
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
" This here DRACULA'S CASTLE is real MACABRE!"
Said ol' JEFFRO, to his good buddy, BILLY BOB.
Thet's the trouble, with them thar TOURISTS,
They cain't see the tree, for the FOREST;
Oops! Sunset! DRACULA arose & their blood did ROB!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
When making a monster, be clever
know which nerves to leave, which to sever
By yourself get the brain
Its worth all the pain
For the hunchback to get it right, he'll never.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
The once was a Man from Nantucket
who knew Death was real, you can't Duck it
So he said his Good Byes
As His Family Cries
When the Time came, He just went and Chucked it.
??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? thrhrt
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Blush
There was a MONSTER, from NEW ORLEANS,
Whose diet was, solely, RICE & RED BEANS;
All those poor, local, CAJUNS,
Were found, to be, rapidly, AGIN',
'Cos the gas, that he'd pass, was OBSCENE!
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
I knew a Olde VAMPIRE, who hailed, from KALAMAZOO,
Who, surely, thought, that, he knew a thing, or, TWO;
Turned, out, that, he was MISTAKEN,
Whilst his Thirst, he was SLAKIN',
For, his Victim was BUFFY - She turned him, into GOO!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ N-YUK, N-YUK, N-YUK ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::)
Half-way, through this frozen month, of JANUARY,
Winter's capricious whims are, quite, CONTRARY,
Compared, to the other Glad SEASONS,
This Bluster is MONSTROUS TREASON;
We're its STOOGES! Call us: CURLY, MOE and LARRY!
::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ N-YUK, N-YUK, N-YUK ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
There, once, was a REVENANT, from DULUTH,
Whose tendency was, to dilute, the TRUTH,
From his COFFIN, he SPRANG,
&, in the voice, of ARNOLD STANG,
Said: "I'd, rather, eat a CHUNKY, than, a BABY RUTH!"
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o
Our Humble LIMERICK Thread's Readership is, far, AHEAD,
"WARNING: Irish Limericks" is, now, 33,950 times, READ;
"If you prick us, do we, not, BLEED?"
Or, say: "Play it, again, SAM {SNEAD}."
Golfing, in Casablanca, BOGIE bogeyed & the Boogeyman FREED!
:o~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ thrhrt
WOWSERS! I, REALLY, TRULY, LOVE THIS UMA GROUP!
This LIMERICK Thread is well-read, by our TROOPS!
From 33,950, to 34,030 TIMES;
80 reads, in 24 hours - SUBLIME!
Meanwhile, We, LIMERICK MONSTERS, add NUTS, TO SOUP!
thrhrt ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie In Luv
There, once, was a PETUNIA, named MERLE;
Who blossomed, into, quite, a lovely GIRL;
Her roots, she could TRACE,
As a SEED, from OUTER SPACE;
'Til She grew vicious, and, took, over our WORLD!
Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
That Mysterious Figure, known, as "COUNT ALUCARD",
Arrived, at DARK OAKS, and, He invaded it, HARD!
He was smitten, by "KATHERINE CALDWELL",
{VAMPED, by Louise Allbritton} it didn't END, WELL;
She was "FIRED", by "FRANK STANLEY", the Film's WILD CARD!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The literary works of Poe opened many a door,
Yet his life was tragic leaving him upon the floor,
His genius will never be surpassed,
For his legend can never be outclassed,
And now his mysterious toaster is also nevermore.
"And now his mysterious toaster is also nevermore."
:o ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o
On Jan. 21st, I turned the page, to # 93,
I returned, today, and, What did I SEE?!
TV HORROR, a "REGULAR JOE",
Praising Dear, Olde, E.A. POE;
Bless Him, He's a RAVEN Maniac, just like ME!
:o ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Grin
There, once, was a foul spirit, named SPOOK,
The UNDEAD thought him, an Abhominable KOOK;
His colour was "HULK" GREEN,
Like, Radio-Active GREEN BEANS;
He dressed, like, that irate Pirate, CAPTAIN HOOK!
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
Compelled, I am, to scribe, one LIMERICK, per DAY,
COUNT DRACULA has Commanded; so, I must OBEY!
You might think, of them, as CRUD,
He reads, whilst drinking BLOOD;
Laughin', from his Coffin, means: "BRING, ON, MY ENTREE!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER had his heart, all, A-WHIRL, :o
'Twouldst seem, that, he'd met, a most lovely young GIRL; :-*
She was, in the Doktor's Castle, a fellow BORDER, :-X
As if, dropped, out, of Heaven & MADE-TO-ORDER, :angel:
'Til, her Hissy-fit made him doubt, that, she was, such, a PEARL! :'(
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
The LENNON/MacCARTNEY Song: "WHEN I'M 64",
Written, so long, ago, is a part, of, all, our LIFE-SCORE;
My Brother, first heard it {I call him, MIKE},
When he was, little more, than a TYKE;
He's 64, TODAY, so: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY & MANY MORE!"
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
At 64 years of age,
(7 more years from my page)
Will you still scold Tim?
Will you still hold Tim?
Or just keep him in a cage?
Happy Birthday Mike hope you get a new bike!
My goodness Packy is looking very well,
There he sits with his face looking swell,
Seeing as he started this thread,
It is only fitting he oversees instead,
While the bold Baron holds sway where we all dwell.
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
I must say, I'm, more, than a wee bit, INSPIRED,
That, our own PACKY PAUL hath, not, RETIRED,
This CORPSE, OF ENGINEERS,
Deserves a couple, o' BEERS,
For this elegant Madness, which he hath WIRED!
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
"SATURDAY NIGHT, WITH THE MONSTERS", My TV SHOW, 8)
A.K.A., "BARON Von WOLFSTEIN PRESENTS", was 33 years, AGO; :'(
Many Characters, I DID, :o
'Twas Fun, captured, on VID; :laugh:
10 Episodes survived, I hope, to resurrect them; I'll let you KNOW! ;)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA said, to His DEAREST VAMPIRE MISSUS:
"I VISH, MY LOVE, THAT, I COULDT HAF THREE VISHES!"
"ANYTHINGK, other, than BLOOD;
WODKA! As it's made, from SPUDS,
&, Change, to more casual DUDS, to go, catch some FISHES!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The invisible man was known as Claude Rains,
And they searched for him from the roof to the drains,
He led them all a merry chase,
Laughing at their wit without a face,
But he had the advantage he was the one with all the brains.
Zombie Razz ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz
This Fabled, Fab-Foured, LIMERICK LIST,
Dis-eased, Star-Crossed, &, SUN-KISSED;
Debated, widely, in Sect, ASIDE,
Calmly, devoid, of shame & PRIDE,
Our GHOUL-FOOL Plight: Oft, DISMISSED!
Zombie Razz ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
A SUBTLE ADVERTISEMENT & CELEBRATION!!!
{Disguised, as a Flying Non-Sequitur!}
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD had, once, audaciously, COMPLAINED,
That, his Blood was being, very slowly, DRAINED,
By COUNT DRACULA'S BRIDE;
That, made him, quite, TIRED!
"34,815 times, Our Limericks, have been Read!" She EXPLAINED.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Good BARON Tim emphasizes,
as our limericks read count rises
"Never let it be said
that our limericks RED
numbers less that Lon Chaney's disguises"!
Lon Chaney was a wonderfull man.
Whose makeup inspired those who can
make monstrous things
out of ordinary beings
Who scare children and women and man!
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
A Delight, to have PACKY, TV HORROR & UNCULA, POST,
Proof, once, again, that, we don't give, up, the GHOST;
Affections, read, for LON CHANEY, SR.,
That Man, Of Remarkable DEMEANOR;
Wise Reminders, that, our LIMERICKS do, more, than ROAST!
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
8) 8) 8) ::) 8) 8) 8) ::) 8) 8) 8)
I think Baron Timmy Is Great!
His Lim'ricks are allways first rate!
To be singled out
in a limerick shout,
Oh what a wonderful fate!
thrhrt- thrhrt- thrhrt- thrhrt- thrhrt- thrhrt
I think that Lim'ricks are great
Others see them as being 2nd rate
Silly or dumb
If they'd only read one
Limericks, they'd no longer hate!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead Started by packy120353 « 1 2 3 ... 94 »
1400 Replies 34885 Views Last post Today at 05:14:38 AM
by BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG
:laugh: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh:
Here's my Toast, to LIMERICK # 14-HUNDRED,
How we've gotten this far, I've WONDERED;
All, that, have gone, BEFORE,
Served, as just one more DOOR,
To PUN, in our Native Tongue, &, Rip It, ASUNDERED!
:laugh: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Do I get to write Limerick fourteen hundred and one?
I'm privileged, I'm honored to continue this run
of poems so sweet
succinct and petite
It's not just an Honor but FUN!
Fouteen hundred and two!
Dracula was missing a shoe
He grabbed a poor bat
and in no time flat
his "wing tips" were as good as new!
PERFECT! &, "HIGH MARKS", to YOU, both, UNCULA & PACKY!
;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;)
Numero Fourteen-Hundred, and, THREE;
Hey, MATES! This next one's, on ME!
With my DELAY,
O' most, o' this DAY...
Well, at least, I'm offering it, FREE!
;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;)
Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz
Those Weird, Bug-Eyed, CREATURES, from MARS,
Have a yen, to meet Earth's ROCK & ROLL STARS;
Whom, they, then, would RESTRAIN,
As THEY sucked, out, their BRAINS,
So, THEY could learn, to play, their GUITARS!
Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Fourteen hundred and and five
I skipped one I know cuz I jive!
Colin Clive feels our pain
being stung again and A GAIN
"It's A HIVE... IT'S A HIVE"!
( Now I know what it feels like to be stung)
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
There once was a Vampire named Uncula
Whose name was derived quite avuncular
with a niece named MissDrac
His name was ersatz
For he aspired to be just like Dracula!
thrhrt * thrhrt * thrhrt * thrhrt * thrhrt
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~ 8) ~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
Saturday, once, again, and, I plead the FIFTH,
For early February, this mild weather is a GIFT;
'Tis, not, over, THOUGH,
I mean, the Ice & SNOW,
We might get a lot, more, if you catch my DRIFT!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~ 8) ~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh:
35,000 Readers is "Spittin' Distance", AWAY;
Irish Limericks Ahead is, so, close, to it, TODAY,
Pleased, to see 34,981 TIMES,
We watch the numbers, CLIMB;
Such a BIG, HAIRY, DEAL, I'll toss, in a TOUPEE!
:laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Said the Cannibal one day to me
" Not all is just what it seems"
If my stomach's upset,
Its cause that I et,
Someone with whom I disagree.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
There, once, was a WITCH, from SASKATCHEWAN,
Who married a JAMAICAN WEREWOLF, named JUAN;
Their CHILDREN looked, like, RATS,
The Neighbors said: "They're BATS!"
JUAN ate, all, those Locals: "Hey! No worries, MON!"
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I read that you would throw in your toupee'
Cried Dracula's bald pate in dismay!
If you don't need it
then simply just deed it
for I could use it today!
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead Started by packy120353 « 1 2 3 ... 94 »
1409 Replies :o 35000 Views :o Last post Today at 06:01:34 AM
by BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG
:o ::) :'( :-* HERE'S TO 965,000 MORE LIMERICKS! :o ::) :'( :-*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's a UMA MADMAN, PAUL, also, called, "PACKY"
Who's LIMERICK Thread made US, say: "By CRACKY!"
He Inspired this WEIRD MADNESS,
Which brings, so, much, GLADNESS,
Although, the General Population deems us, "WHACKY"!
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
"BRAVO!" I say, to Beloved Brother, UNCULA,
He puts the "FUN", in our LIMERICK FUNCULA,
Whilst, not, quite, as RAD,
As our Dear DR. MADD,
I toast, Them, both, by drinking THE UN-COLA!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
8) * 8) * 8) * 8) * 8) * 8) * 8) * 8) * 8)
Cheers, Mate, said Uncula to the Dear Barron Tim
For once again, mentioning him
In a limerick so divine
It will pass the test of time
And the lights of this Thread will not Dim
thrhrt * thrhrt * thrhrt * thrhrt * thrhrt * thrhrt * thrhrt
I have it on good authority,
That Baron Timotheus is in a minority,
Because there is no such person,
That writes these limericks for our immersion,
Only a pure out and out writer of impurity.
Quote from: tv horror on February 08, 2011, 03:33:48 PM
I have it on good authority,
That Baron Timotheus is in a minority,
Because there is no such person,
That writes these limericks for our immersion,
Only a pure out and out writer of impurity.
:o - :o - :o - :o - :o - :o
TV Horror must be insane
I think his pictures to blame
Like Dorian of Old
His picture extols
Evil Deeds, that were His game
thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt
:angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel:
'Tis True, that, I am counted, in a MINORITY,
SOUTH-PAWS are, not, this world's MAJORITY,
Howe'er, MAURICE: "NO SUCH PERSON"?!
My MUMMY claimed me, as Her SON;
I'd have, to believe, that, She's the Best AUTHORITY!
:angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
While turning his eggs with a spatula,
He realised that he fancied instead a plump tarantula,
With his foot upon the waste basket pedal,
He had to make do with a resident spider under the icon medal,
Such was the fickleness of our own dear member Uncula.
8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8)
While Tarantulas are not first rate
and to like them may not be your fate
If you would try them
You would not despise them
With enough, your hunger they'd sate
thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt
FRANK DIETZ' "SKETCHY THINGS" Strikes, Again!
:o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o
THE BLOB gained Ultimate, Shape-Shifting, VAMPIRIC POWERS,
Whilst rolling, amid TRANSYLVANIAN NOCTURNAL BOWERS;
Its Transformation? Comedic, not, SLUTTY,
Deadly BLOB, evolving, into SILLY PUTTY;
Makes MONSTER Caricature Impressions, whiling, away, the HOURS!
:o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
While some people find me quite snide,
There can be no doubting I'm fine to confide,
Once and a while I like to join in and post,
Or it would be the matter of giving up the ghost,
But I cannot deny I love faunting my Mister Hyde.
(for the arachnidologists among us)
Lately this has become my man-tra
Tonight I tried feeding my Taranch'la
She soon got my goat
she's going into molt
So the crickets will soon be goin'afta'ha
(my Chilean Rosie, though now confirmed female is named informally--Fuzznuts
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2418/2271441420_2e218a5643.jpg) (http://www.flickr.com/photos/duane-the-bathtub/2271441420/)
Mr T (http://www.flickr.com/photos/duane-the-bathtub/2271441420/#) by packy120353 (http://www.flickr.com/people/duane-the-bathtub/), on Flickr
My friend has a chilean rose-haired. I'll stick to my Ball Python.
Now you have TWO friends with a CHilean Rose!
Quote from: packy120353 on February 10, 2011, 07:56:38 PM
(for the arachnidologists among us)
Lately this has become my man-tra
Tonight I tried feeding my Taranch'la
She soon got my goat
she's going into molt
So the crickets will soon be goin'afta'ha
(my Chilean Rosie, though now confirmed female is named informally--Fuzznuts
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2418/2271441420_2e218a5643.jpg) (http://www.flickr.com/photos/duane-the-bathtub/2271441420/)
Mr T (http://www.flickr.com/photos/duane-the-bathtub/2271441420/#) by packy120353 (http://www.flickr.com/people/duane-the-bathtub/), on Flickr
There once was a Tarantula named Fred.
Who my wife thought would be better off Dead.
She thought it t'was a spider
and when he plopped down beside her,
She took a knife and cut off it's head.
Poor Fay Wray was caught by her nape,
A giant hairy paw tore at her dress drape,
Then he beats his large chest,
To which Miss Wray yells "Give it a rest!"
Kong kicked his toes and said "I'm such a dumb ape".
;) ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ ;)
This Thread could use a GIANT SPIDER,
Whose only food is MIKE'S HARD CIDER;
You might think, that, a DRINK,
Howe'er, your Logic has a KINK;
He need them, to wash, down his SLIDERS!
;) ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed
This Season, of LOVE we call ST. VALENTINE'S;
I wish you, all, LOVE, like, I have found MINE;
She's a WONDERFUL GIRL,
My own PRECIOUS PEARL,
Not, "Assembly-Required"; i.e., THE BRIDE, OF FRANKENSTEIN!
ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ ;) ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ :o
I have, really, no wish, to be SNIDE,
Save, for the Style, of one, MR. HYDE,
Looks, Ill-Fit, at BEST,
Lost, to His evil QUEST;
To emulate it, ask, for: "FORMAL DeHYDE"!
:o ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ ;) ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Baron transformed looked to the Moon in awe,
He was so Moonstruck that he hurt his front paw,
Ye ow he cried lifting it to kiss it better,
Then with a mighty howl gave out a four letter,
For he had sat back on a cactus plant and that was the last straw.
:angel: ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :angel:
'Tis, very nice, o' Ye, Br'er MAURICE,
To give our Limerick Thread, INCREASE;
Thy words ring, TRUE,
Like, Glue, on FU MANCHU,
Feel free, to add, another, PLEASE!
:angel: ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt
There once was a Baron named "Victer"
Who was kind of like Hannibal Lecter
Each took a big Slice
of eveything nice
but Igor did'nt know any better!!
8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8)
I once went on a hunt in Manila,
Hoping the undergrowth hid a gorilla,
Shue shue I cried,
But I nearly died,
When up from the bush arose Godzilla.
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
On a Hunt, once, I found MANILA PAPER,
Which I consumed, just, like, 'NILLA WAFERS;
Whilst I sat, on my TUSH,
Painfully, on a ROSE BUSH;
I gave a rose, to GODZILLA, as He ate QUAKERS!
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
You say you are a paper eater?
You must drink water by the liter!
But when you run out..
and you will. no doubt,
Don't rob Packy Paul to pay "Peter"!
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
I'm reminded, of an olde JIMMY DURANTE WISECRACK:
Exasperated: "Everybody wantsta get inta duh ACT!"
Our Originator, PACKY PAUL,
Walking the Walk & Walking TALL,
Always Fresh, Funny & Welcome... &, THAT'S A FACT!
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
Like, a VAMPIRE, from its Dark Crypt, ARISING,
One more Creepy LIMERICK; hardly, SURPRISING!
February made me SHIVER,
With every Epic, I DELIVER;
This Arrow, from my Quiver, to Quell the UPRISING!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ tynhrt
This Thread hath been, Times, Read, 35,350,
I might be Poetic, but, I find, that, quite, NIFTY;
Scribing MONSTROUS ODES,
'Til we reach MOTHER LODE;
1 MILLION LIMERICKS! It bodes, specifically, SPIFFY!
tynhrt ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA is one, who should, not, be DISTURBED,
His VAMPIRIC Rest, at best, must remained, UNPERTURBED;
Because, when ALUCARD ARISES,
He'll know, whom, He DESPISES;
VLAD, THE IMPALER, will, then, find YOU... to be TORTURED!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I am Kong climbing buildings is my game,
And I'm sure that you would do the same,
There's something nice about their size,
That drives me wild like winning a prize,
On the other hand I have Miss Wray my old flame.
In his cabinet had Caligari
A man in black who was scary
By night he would creep
though he was asleep
By morning come back tired and wary.
Frankenstein was getting frustrated
trying to get himself mated.
Upon meeting his Bride
She ran off to hide
The poor guy became MONSTERpated!
::) ~~~ :'( ~~~ ;D ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-[ ~~~ :'( ~~~ :laugh:
"'WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead", began, March 17, 2008,
When PACKY PAUL delivered his Inaugural Limericks, GREAT;
Our 3rd Anni-Vasaria, one month, AWAY,
Celebrates THE CLASSIC MONSTERS' DAY;
Like Him, MADD, TV HORROR & Others, We accept our PUNY FATE!
::) ~~~ :'( ~~~ ;D ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-[ ~~~ :'( ~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
There, once, was a man, named RIP Van WINKLE,
Who slept, for decades, without having, to TINKLE;
'Tis a FABLE, I SAY,
If, for, no, other WAY,
Than, a bladder, so stressed, would make WRINKLES!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-*
DRACULA'S BRIDE, once, hit, on ME.
She said: "You're as cute, as can BE!"
She asked, to kiss my NECK;
I thought: "What the HECK!"
She tried, but, my STAKE set her FREE!
:-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I hope that stake was real wood
and you plunged it as deep as you could.
And as she expired
her cigarette was fired
as she asked was it for you, as good?
thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt
My poor bride Ms. Vlad, Dracul
Had fire in her eyes yet was cool
With Blood, never sated
Yet with Men, quite elated
though many she met were a fool!!
8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8) - 8)
The young couple went looking for a new place,
Oh darling this is so rural and quaint patting her face,
I wonder why no body has snapped it up yet,
Don't you worry my dear it will be all set,
For I've heard that the landlord is called Mr leatherface.
??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ???
'Tis, funny, how LIMERICKS RUN,
Nonsense, wrapped, up, in a PUN;
Like, the Axe, of Olde MORD,
Pen, mightier, than, SWORD;
The Laugh is the Proof, of the FUN!
??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
There's a GHOST, whom, I know, in the Dark TOWER,
Of a CASTLE, dank, surrounded, by vibrant BOWERS.
He exclaimed: "BARON, i' FAITH,
I am a most miserable WRAITH;
Alive, I loved Spring, yet, now, am allergic, to FLOWERS!"
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
This LIMERICK is marked 1000, 400 & 50,
So, I decided, that, I'd be wise, to Gift ME;
'Struth, Limericks are Anyone's GAME;
Whilst, this might seem, quite, TAME,
I'll shoulder the blame, if, you're MIFFED, w' ME!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Mad
I've heard, that, THE PHANTOM, OF THE OPERA,
Is scheduled, to make an appearance, on OPRAH;
To discuss his new PLASTIC SURGERY,
His attempt, to escape the DRUDGERY,
Of resembling a MONSTER, instead, of DEEPAK CHOPRA!
Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ ??? ~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ ::)
An aging Albatross, ALONZO, ate Apricots and ALMONDS;
An ALLOSAUR attacked; Afternoon's Appetizer ABSCONDS,
Audaciously, AIDING And ABBETTING,
This Crime, of Time's BLOOD-LETTING;
Agile Similes smile, at Time's whittling, whistling SECONDS!
::) ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ ??? ~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a Baron Timotheus
A great Baron to over see us
a Wolf of great style
absolutly no guile
You can trust him to lead us!
I love when Tim gets in a zone
His Limerick powers well known
If truth will be told
it never gets old
hearing the rest of us moan!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
THE TIM-LIGHT ZONE goes: " DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO",
Like a GIANT CAGED APE, flinging his POO-POO;
I have, to make a humbling CONFESSION:
That Sound is, only, my WHOOPEE CUSHION,
So, Thankful, be, and, Shout: "WHOO-WHOOOOOO!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 35805 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv
Did Ye ever think THE CREATURE was IRISH?
Although, Humanoid, He is, also, a FISH;
He's a-wearin' The GREEN,
Luvs the Ladies & is MEAN;
Seekin' a LEPRECHAWN, to grant him that WISH!
Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
She swam like a mermaid and was quite a dish,
a lagoon-dwelling creature's perfect wish.
And though he was a romantic sort,
Gillman wasn't sure how to court,
so instead of flowers he caught her a fish!
~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~ Baron - your last limerick was sheer genius, bravo sir!! ~~~~
~~~~ Baron - your last lyric was sheer genius, bravo sir!! ~~~~
~~ ;) LONG LIVE KONG, It takes one, to know one! Thanks!! ;) ~~
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
THE WOLFMAN made a Supper, of GRUEL,
The remains, of some unfortunate FOOL,
'Neath the Full Moon, he DINED,
'Til sated, he, again, felt FINE,
Ready, to pounce, again, fit, with FUEL!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
It appeared as a shape buried deep in the ice,
blown free by man, without thinking twice,
and from its icy tomb unfurled,
THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD!
A momentous discovery, with a deadly price!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
The Mad CYCLOPS battled the Gigantic DRAGON, :o
The Evil WIZARD, SOKURAH, fell, off the WAGON; >:D
Drunk, with Mystic POWER, :o
Planning, his vicious HOUR; >:(
SINBAD saved the day; A Toast, from my FLAGON! ;D
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ chain_saw ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
BORIS and BELA were engaged, in a MYSTERY;
With THE BLACK CAT, they shared dark HISTORY;
BELA'S Wife, dead, then, his DAUGHTER,
Endured BORIS' lies, about her FATHER;
BELA'S Sweet Revenge was skinning BORIS, GORY!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ chain_saw ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ ggege ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ :'( ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ ggege ~~~ :o
I'm caught, in the grip, of the Cruelest MONSTER;
Food Poisoning imprisons my Health & POSTURE;
I am, truly, a Physical WRECK,
Tight, hot, Skin; Stiff NECK;
I hope, that, Tomorrow offers Greener PASTURES!
:o ~~~ ggege ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ :'( ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ ggege ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Baron is feeling somewhat ill,
so we send out vibes of good will,
but he isn't too sick,
to write a limerick,
will Timmy ever be over-the-hill??
~~~~~~~~~~
There was a man named Ardeth Bey,
who spent thousands of years in decay,
like a vamp with a bad complexion,
he avoided his own reflexion,
and applied skin cream twice a day!!
~~~~~~~~~~
Quasimodo was a man of simple taste,
who lived in a cathedral's loft space,
after years with gargoyle friends,
his loneliness would finally end,
with Esmeralda's tender embrace!!
~~~~~~~~~~
There was a man with an endless devotion,
who gave critters real life and emotion,
his name was Ray Harryhausen,
maker of beasts by the thousand,
the grand master of monster stop motion!!
~~~~~~~~~~~
As Dr Kildare used to say it's his spleen,
It is in need of a good clean,
So take his advice my friend,
And fight it off till the poisonings end,
Leaving you fit with a brand new sheen.
Quote from: tv horror on March 08, 2011, 04:27:36 PM
As Dr Kildare used to say it's his spleen,
It is in need of a good clean,
So take his advice my friend,
And fight it off till the poisonings end,
Leaving you fit with a brand new sheen.
THANKS, MAURICE,
As long, as it's, not, CHARLIE SHEEN'S SPLEEN... or, LIVER... with FAVA BEANS and a Nice, Dry, CHIANTI!
Sorry... Here, ends the LECTOR... er, LECTURE!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
My Sincerest Thanks,
To, all, of my UMA FANG-MILY, for Good Thoughts and Prayers ... &, to TV HORROR & LONG LIVE KONG, for catching the TORCH, &, running, with it!! Just a few READS, away, from # 36,000!!!!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
LONG LIVE KONG gaveth, Four, for the Price, of ONE,
Accomplishing, what hath, seldom, been Dung... er, DONE!
Worthy, of our Beloved, SIR FORRY ACK,
COATING my Pun, plus, 3 pair, of SLACKS,
I'm, obviously, feeling, much, Better; so: ON, WITH THE PUNS!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Oh no thirty six thousand that are polluted,
Even though most of our limericks are convoluted,
With the Baron feeling poorly,
It is up to us to fill the gap surely,
The man's a rhyming machine and we have intruded.
Get well soon Tim and show that bug the door!
>:( ~~~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~~~ >:(
This Creeping-Crud Bug, for three days, didst INFECT;
As a WEREWOLF, sorely, tempted, wast I, to call, in, Ye VET;
"We're evil; so, 'tis our right, to dwell, HERE!"
In order, to flush them, I drowned them, in BEER!
MORAL: This Wolf's Home is His Castle... and, I don't SUBLET!
>:( ~~~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
VAMPIRES, WEREWOLVES, MONSTERS & GHOULS,
MUMMIES & ZOMBIES & CREATURES that DROOL,
BORIS & BELA, SR. & JR. LON,
PETER & VINCENT; I could go, on & ON;
A Grand EDUCATION, that, we didn't learn, in SCHOOL!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
In the forest of the night as the Moon shone,
The little people sent for that paragon,
Darby O'Gill to tell them stories,
Of their legends and past glories,
But he wanted to stay free of King Brian the leprechaun.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
We've whizzed, again, past, TUESDAY, FAT;
Soon; Eire's Wee Folk, in LEPRECHAUN HATS;
Spring is, on Its WAY;
3, until ST. PADDY'S DAY;
Then, WALPURGIS-NACHT, to drive, us, BATS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 36298 times)
:o ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :o
Grown, to 99 pages, since PACKY BEGAN IT;
MEEK, still, in SPIRIT, We, never, will BAN IT!
Our Limerick THREAD,
Runs, on, wearing KEDS,
The Shoe, of our YOUTH, just, as TIME RAN IT!
:o ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ ::)
6:30 A.M., on March 17, A.D. 2008, UMA Puns were BORN:
"Irish Limericks Ahead", from PACKY'S Brain, MAL-FORMED!
A Dire WARNING, sternly, ISSUED,
Finds CLASSIC MONSTERS, PURSUED;
&, UNDEAD Tissues, Misused, to Greet this 3rd Year's MORN!
::) ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt - thrhrt
There once was a monsterous Wolfman
Who tried as hard as anyone can
To live like all humans
Instead of like lupins
Eating Man or from Man's trash can!
If you're Irish and your name is Timothy or pack,
You're always welcome into my parlour at the back,
On this St Patrick's day,
Because that is the Irish way,
So onward toward our 100th if you have the knack.
Quote from: tv horror on March 17, 2011, 09:49:31 AM
If you're Irish and your name is Timothy or pack,
You're always welcome into my palour at the back,
On this St Patrick's day,
Because that is the Irish way,
So onward toward our 100th if you have the knack.
But what of us Ryan's, no Timothy's nor packs.
Am I still welcome in your parlour thou my pedigree's intact?
We'll lift a pint of Guinness, 4 billion sold world wide.
We'll tell of Gods and Monsters till the darkness starts to slack! thrhrt
Quote from: Uncula on March 17, 2011, 12:01:11 PM
But what of us Ryan's, no Timothy's nor packs.
Am I still welcome in your parlour thou my pedigree's intact?
We'll lift a pint of Guinness, 4 billion sold world wide.
We'll tell of Gods and Monsters till the darkness starts to slack! thrhrt
I may reside on the wrong side of Dover,
but I love your land of Shamrock and clover!
So am I welcome at your Irish fete?
I maybe English but give me a break!
Lets guzzle Guinness until we all fall over!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone is welcomed even if you have an Irish lean,
even Godzilla with his wearing of the green,
Can bring whatever monsters he likes,
Although they must have some green on their spikes,
To enjoy this day with us as we are all so keen.
Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ :-*
'Tis a Leprechaun's Pot o' Gold, I've stumbled, UPON,
To find, that, all, o' me Irish Mates ha'e crazy, GONE!
'Tis the Hallowed Day, o' ST. PATRICK;
Ye UMA fellows are a Jolly HAT-TRICK;
I Thankee, for, all, o' Thy PUNS, are a TON, O' FUN!
Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
Gone, again, Dear FRIENDS, Ye Day, o' Ye EMERALD ISLE,
Wondrous 14-Karat Puns, delivered, LIMERICK-STYLE;
Cresting, into Year Number FOUR,
With, so much, Creativity, IN STORE;
I cherish, more; located, in the UMA Mad Poets' AISLE!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ ;D ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o
I purchased a book, about The UNIVERSAL MONSTERS,
The CLASSIC ERA, with BORIS, BELA & THE LONSTERS;
Many Beloved Images, great & SMALL,
Of the FAVS, that, you & I RECALL;
+, ABBOTT & COSTELLO pages, of MONSTROUS FUNSTERS!
:o ~~~ ;D ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ >:D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
Read, as of now, a grand total, of 36,659 TIMES,
Irish Limericks Ahead marks the Beastly SLIME;
Careening, wildly, towards 36,666,
A devilish moment, to pass, by, & KICK,
To 37,000 readers; our newest goal, to CLIMB!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ >:D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
There, once, was a Magick GOLEM, from PRAGUE,
Who helped, to save the Jews, from THE PLAGUE;
'Though he was formed, from the EARTH,
He, definitely, proved his True WORTH;
All, the more Noble, as his mud came, from the BOG!
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA smiled his most Toothsome SMILE;
To his Victim, he said: "Alas; this may take AWHILE."
"Your blood-type is, so, SWEET,
That, this Feeding, I'll REPEAT,
After brushing my teeth, lest, a Dentist, my Fangs has, to FILE!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel:
MERLIN, THE WIZARD, is a wonderful FELLER,
Able, to bend Spoons, just, like, URI GELLER;
When he was asked, to PICK,
A Pet, who could do TRICKS,
Not, at all, shy; he, promptly, replied: "OLD YELLER!"
:angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel:
We've arrived, at our FIRST HUNDREDTH PAGE,
Where, "all the world's a" LIMERICK "STAGE"!
'Tis, not, like, Moi, to FIB,
Nor, quibble, o'er a QUIB;
Our Feast needs a bib, for a taste, all, the RAGE!
:angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
One of our rhyming brothers has been struck low,
Uncula has some medical issues which struck a body blow,
Let us all join together and wish him well,
For he is a most jolly fellow as all can tell,
Here's hoping that he pulls through and he gets back to his flow.
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
We Celebrate the Approaching APRIL, Ye FIRST,
That Dubious Day, when, all FOOLS are CURSED;
Too, the Birthday, of SENIOR LON,
Sadly, His Great 1000 Faces, GONE,
Upon his QUASIMODO, Lord, of Misrule, I was NURSED!
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
You can tell it's almost April First
When the Fool returns, with a verse!
Not my favorite Spring holiday
('cause Walpurgis is still one month away)
But all in all, heck; it could be worse!
:angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
A visit, from IVAN, like, TARTARE, quite, RARE!
A Joy, to see Thy smiling fanged face, my BR'ER;
As a co-sufferer, of our WOLFEN CURSE;
I speak Blessings, upon Thine APRIL 1st;
More frequent Limericks, 'twouldst be most FAIR!
:angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
As my sisters say, foul is fair and fair is foul
I try to write more poetry, but all that comes out is a howl
I'm in high demand, always on the go;
for example, right now I simply must know
If contestant #2 will solve, or buy a vowel!
It feels like old house at home again,
The three of us together we'll not refrain,
Limerick's are our call to arms,
So with cruel rhyming that harms,
I'll just add my two cents worth to their agonizing pain.
P.S
It's nice hearing from you again 1van.
Thanks, TV; it has been a while
I'll try to keep pace for at least one more mile
Life's conundrums have taken their toll
but I'm back like some internet troll
'Cause giving up really isn't my style! 8)
:angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel:
My BIRTHDAY is, today, April, the FIRST;
Mostly, all, of my Fools, were CURSED;
True Love escaped them, ALL,
Yet, we, still, stood, TALL,
My 1001 FACES fared, better, than WORSE.
:angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Grin
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, from JAMAICA,
Whose Brain was proven, to be FAKE, EH!
To make it, better, than BEFORE,
He ate others' Brains, GALORE,
Only, to wind, up, with a bad BELLYACHE... DUH!
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel:~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
HAMMER'S "CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF";, was, INDEED,
A Great Motion Picture, as regards our WERE-BREED;
When he let loose his HOWLLL,
VANNA, I'd like, to buy a VOWEL;
&, here & now, convey Thanks, to the Late OLIVER REED!
:angel:~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Writing about the obscure was his handcraft,
Both dark and foreboding his witchcraft,
Tall of stature and very lean,
His stories chilled even the very mean,
His name why the one and only H.P.Lovecraft.
In the quiet town of Portland, Maine,
lives a man with a dark, canny brain,
a writer most prolific,
of tales quite horrific,
Steven 'King' is his rather apt name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:o ~~~ ??? ~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ??? ~~~ :o
There, once, was a MUMMY, from OHIO,
Who, really, had a most excellent BIO;
Yet, with wrappings, OBTUSE,
It appeared, to carry a PAPOOSE;
Couldn't tell, if, it was a GIRL, or, a GUY-O!
:o ~~~ ??? ~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ ??? ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
He was always a quick witted friend,
Fully armed and ready to defend,
His humour was outright fun,
Although at times sometimes a cruel pun,
Would slip in but never to offend.
In honour of our UMA brother Don aka Uncula.
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 37533 times) Page: 92 / Author: Uncula
* Sergeant ***** Posts: 550 Any one want to go out for a bite?
o Yahoo Instant Messenger - HistoryBuff18733
Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead <<Reply #1366 on: January 09, 2011, 03:40:53 AM >>
THE SHADOW OF DEATH A Limerick!!
------------------------------------------------
As I walked through the Shadow of Death
My thoughts were gone, my sight even less
But He blessed me and saw me through
As I knew that He could do
Do I praise Him? A resounding YES!
-------------------------------------------------------
The children of the night. What music they make!
--------------------------------------------------------------
:angel: ~~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~ :-* ~ thrhrt ~ :-* ~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~~ :angel:
UNCULA was, one, of our Best LIMERICK SAGES,
Miss him, we shall, as we add, to these PAGES;
His Spirit LIVES, ON,
Like, LON, Never, GONE;
DON Thrives, EVERNOW, on HEAVENLY WAGES!
:angel: ~~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~ :-* ~ thrhrt ~ :-* ~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I never met him, yet I knew him I did
He was uncle to every monster kid
Though he is now Heaven-Kissed
On Earth Don will ever be missed
He has oft made me smile; yes he did
>:( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:D ~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~~ >:(
There, once, was an Evil Clown, from HOBOKEN,
A Family Cast-off {for, he, really, was HOBO KIN};
So, he took his REVENGE,
On all Homeless MEN;
He called them: "HOBO-WANABES!" & "HAS-BEEN!"
>:( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:D ~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
THE CREATURE swam, out, from his Underwater CAVE,
To engage, in battle, with his human nemesis, BRAVE:
Over a Woman, they FOUGHT,
THE CREATURE, CAUGHT;
By a Mortal Wound, slipped, away, to a Watery GRAVE.
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S Body reformed, out, of ASHES,
Able, to decipher Morse Code's Dots & DASHES;
This latest, of His Arcane TRICKS,
Appeared, as a NERVOUS TICKS;
Drove RENFIELD Bats, watching DRAC'S LASHES!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
DR. JEKYLL had ordered an ample dinner, for TWO,
Anticipating another "Visit", from "YOU-KNOW-WHO";
He'd grown very WISE,
To expect a "SURPRISE!";
Knowing, HYDE would dine, then, refuse, to pay the bill, TOO!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
PRINCE KHARIS and IM-HOTEP played CARDS,
The Prize: a Coffin, which belonged, to ALUCARD;
He was, down, for The COUNT,
So, THE MUMMIES were BLUNT:
"STRIP POKER; The Loser, his Wrappings, DISCARD!"
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
I find April, the 15th, to be, really, quite, TAXING,
I'd, much, rather, hear Dear, Olde, DRAC SING;
He's, not, much, of a LOOKER,
Like, that BLOOD-SUCKING HOOKER;
DRAC'S bite; quite, painless; IRS, my wallet, doth STING.
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o
There, once, was an Odd GHOST, from JAPAN,
Who claimed, to be GODZILLA'S Biggest FAN,
He'd viewed, all, of the MOVIES,
Proclaimed them: "Quite GROOVY!"
Then, he'd go, back, and, watch them, AGAIN!
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D
I'm, quite, happy, as you've learned, to write LIMERICKS,
Any MONSTER, FAMOUS, or, not, will do; take your PICK!
If, I'm, Maudlin, or, quite, SOLEMN,
I'll rhapsodize, about DER GOLEM;
As a Lark, my Creative Spark composes an Ode, to MAVERICK!
;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~ cl:) ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie LOL
'Twas a MONSTER, who spoke GOBBLE-DE-GOOK;
All, of the other MONSTERS, thought him, a KOOK!
The UMA Troops will be ELATED,
To Realize, we're, all, RELATED;
We're his Off-Spring; into the Mirror, take a LOOK!
thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~ cl:) ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
A VAMPIRE "Wannabe" stood, in the Wal-Mart AISLE,
Sharpening her teeth, with an stolen, new, NAIL-FILE;
Caught & Busted, for her CRIME,
I hear, that, she's "DOING TIME";
She's grown, long, in the Tooth, but, you should see her SMILE!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ thrhrt
UNCLE FORRY, as a VAMPYR, arose, unaware, where he was, AT,
Realizing, that, his grave had been accursed, by a BLACK CAT!
He tried, out, his power, of FLIGHT,
Transformed, soon, after MID-NIGHT;
With swoops & swirls, bit many girls; his nick-name is "ACK-RO-BAT"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Kavik the Wolf Boy set out to hunt undead
Because ghosts and vampires are the things that he dreads
He traveled far to impale 'em
And he wound up in Salem
Massachusetts, now he lives here instead!
>:D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:D
KAVIK, THE WOLF-BOY, now, see what he's GOT,
Dug, up, his Relatives, in Ye Olde Fang-mily PLOT;
VAMPIRES, there, A-PLENTY,
Old House, FOR RENT, SEE?
No Inheritance Tax, to pay... on SALEM'S LOT!
>:D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
So the Baron has vampire connections,
With real estate in his recollections,
Of all places it had to be the town of Salem's lot,
Which used to be a sleepy town in it's burnt out slot,
Now the residents cast no Earthly reflections.
Not Salem's Lot; that town is in Maine.
It's Massachusetts where Kavik's head is lain.
No more Abercrombies'
Now he's beating up zombies
Cause even werewolves want to keep their brains
In case I've not yet made it clear
Moving Day finally got here!
Relocated to Mass
Virginia's now in my past
I'm happy Salem town now is so near!
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ BR'ER IVAN, KONG-GRATULATIONS!! ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
Virgina, to Salem, Mass., now, that's, quite, a SWITCH!
A WEREWOLF, in WITCH-TOWN; Hmm, rather, KITSCH!
KAVIK, m'Lad, I would count it, no PITY,
If they gave you the Keys, to the CITY,
I'd drop, by, for a visit, & a BLOODY GOOD SANDWICH!
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ BR'ER IVAN, KONG-GRATULATIONS!! ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Thank you, Baron; should you visit I'll gladly play host
My home is not quite inside Salem, but close
I'm only Kavik on nights
when the full moon sheds light
But I'm still still Crazy1van on most
:angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
Today is The Exalted Day, with Its Proof, of PERFECTION,
Greater, the Child-Like Joy, than, the tons, of CONFECTION;
I'm wishing you, all, the SAME,
An EVERNOW, beyond BLAME;
LOVE, to Earth, came, and, remains, in His RESURRECTION!
:angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was an Italian VAMPIRE, named VIOLA,
Who, maudlin, by DAY, listened, to her VICTROLA;
For, HER MASTER'S VOICE,
Was, by BITE, and, not, CHOICE;
Yet, they say: "By NIGHT, Hey, She-sa, on a ROLL-A!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :-* ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
'Tis, easy, to understand, THE CLASSIC MONSTERS' APPEAL,
&, why, we, MONSTER KIDS, are filled, with Abundant ZEAL;
Those ARTISTS, of their GENRE, were KINGS,
Of Insights, to make us feel: "There are such THINGS!"
Our Lives They leavened; Thank Heaven, "They" were, not, REAL!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :-* ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
FRANKENSTEIN said, to his Undead Host, COUNT DRACULA:
"These views, from your Castle, are, really, SPECTACULAR!"
DRACULA said: "Relax; have a BITE,
For, I'll be, out, until, late, TONIGHT!"
So, FRANK ate a Portion, of BRAINS, using DRAC'S SPATULA!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
On the eve of May when the Moon is bright,
Things seem surreal even by sight,
Then stalking the roads and the woods by choice,
Creatures of the supernatural rejoice,
As it is our time of year Walpurgis Night.
Nice ode to Walpurgis Night, Maurice!
I 2nd that Praise, Br'er MAURICE!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
In our "WARNING: IRISH LIMERICKS AHEAD",
We, PUN-fully, discuss CREATURES, UNDEAD;
DRACULA will Knock YOUR SOCKS, OFF,
During the Eve, of WALPURGISNACHT;
And, His Wives, drink your life, as you're BLED!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Thou sayest: "BARON, Please! No more LIMERICKS!", but, WAIT!
Thou art, here, to read and absorb, more; so, Thus, is Thy FATE!
UMA, Trust Me; I shan't DISAPPOINT,
Let Thy nose be, not, OUT-O'-JOINT;
CLASSIC MONSTERS art My Point, {'Tho', not, ALL, o' them, GREAT!}
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Thank you for the praise of my last limerick, now on with the show.
The Baron has recovered from his rut,
Writing Limerick's from his werewolf gut,
Likely it has happened at last,
Because they hit with a tremendous blast,
He has became a certifiable Limerick nut.
:angel: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :angel:
'Struth, TVH, I'm a WEREWOLF, who must be OBEYED,
A Certified "LIMERICK NUT", who hath made the GRADE;
I possess a Quick, Virile, WIT,
So, please, don't get, in a SNIT;
Lest, Ye believe my Brain shouldst be neutered, or, SPAYED!
:angel: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
From the MUMMY-FILLED PYRAMIDS, of Ancient EGYPT,
To a Blood-thirsty COUNT'S TRANSYLVANIAN CRYPT;
We, The Living , are whom They DESPISE;
To take our Females, that, is Their PRIZE!
Yet, They, by a GREATER POWER, end, up, TRIPPED!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
'Tis MOTHER'S DAY, and, again, I HEAR,
Ye Proclamations, o' Grandest CHEER;
Ev'ry day we dedicate, to THEE,
For, FMOF, 'neath the Christmas TREE;
We are, in your Debt, throughout the YEAR!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
COUNT DRACULA was, in disagreement, with DR. PRETORIUS,
Especially, since, Ye MAD DOKTOR made, such, a nasty FUSS!
"You're wrongk, mein Herr Doktor!"
Spake DRACULA, stifling LAUGHTER...
"I meant, what, I said, that, to be, really, DEAD, must be GLORIOUS!"
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
The Movie's denouement unraveled; the End came, at LAST!
We, all, saw it, coming, for the fresh-made, impetuous, LASS!
All, HER SUITOR wanted, was A KISS.
But, NO! SHE awarded HIM a HISS!
So, when HE pulled the Lever... Well, "ALL THINGS MUST PASS!"
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~ ededed ~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
A stormy night, in the castle, amid the foulest WEATHER,
The frenzied, secret, experiment, to create Beings, BETTER;
The Doktors, quite, mad; their Assistants, INSANE;
Loading an ungodly MONSTER, with the vilest BRAIN -
Cataclysmic results! The predictable end, of that horrid TETHER!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~ ededed ~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
I've authored this Topic, on innumerable OCCASIONS,
IRISH LIMERICKS AHEAD remains our UMA INVASION;
Read, now, a nice, round, 38,800 TIMES,
You've ignored the "WARNING" SIGN;
When you're hot, you're HOT; but, this is a CONFLAGRATION!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I am going slightly mad within my chair,
Clutching at my unkempt hair,
Oh woe is me,
This chair's no tree,
It's a misplaced splinter that I can't bear.
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 38838 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
I know, that, you, all, have seen the PICTURE,
'Twas a staple, of MONSTER Mags; a FIXTURE;
KARLOFF, as THE MONSTER, TALL,
Playing HOLLYWOOD BASEBALL;
This Memory adds, to 38838 times, a MIXTURE!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Five fiends met up for their annual bash,
a Gothic, booze-fuelled monster mash.
But Frankie pined for his long lost bride,
and all Wolfman talked of was suicide.
Gillman asked "where are all the women?"
"I've seen more talent while out swimming!"
In the corner the mummy sat alone to think,
whilst that killjoy Dracula refused to drink.
The invisible man simply never arrived,
and only the strongest ghouls survived.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tynhrt~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ :-* ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt
LONG LIVE KONG hath, again, graced our PAGES,
Ensuring his Fame, as, one, of our LIMERICK SAGES;
This latest, that, he's BIRTHED,
Is several Limericks' WORTH;
Filled, with CLASSIC MONSTERS' Girth; one, for THE AGES!
tynhrt~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ :-* ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
There, once, was a WEREWOLF, whose BITE,
Always, brought a swift end, to any FIGHT;
He gave this service, for FREE,
Because, he loved, to REFEREE!
His winnings?! A "Take-Out Dinner", each NIGHT!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
On his heavy cart horse poor old Ichabod to his sorrow,
Had to cross the bridge shaking to his bone marrow,
He rode as fast as he possibly could,
Looking all around as well he should,
He then heard Laughing for was this not Sleepy hollow.
There once was a barber called Todd
Seemed many thought he was quite odd.
But to mock his behavior
would invite his straight razor
so keep eating your pie. and just nod.
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
MAURICE & 1VAN, I say, are a couple, of BEASTS,
One Bro., from North EIRE; 1 BRO., from The EAST;
Producing such fine WORKS,
They, cannot, be called: "LURKS";
Such, are the Perks: They bring more GOLDEN FLEECE!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~ :) ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :) ~~~~~ >:(
In Good DOCTOR JEKYLL, I could, always, CONFIDE,
But, my secrets were, somehow, known, to MR. HYDE;
One, plus, one, always, add, up, to TWO,
His "TWO" were, both, ONE... OOOOHHH!
ERGO: JEKYLL, the Truth, could, not, from HYDE, HIDE!
:) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~ :) ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :) ~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Moving to Massachusetts was my wish, see?
But my new home in Innsmouth smells fishy
The townies are rude
and they say I'm just food
for a thing in their plutonian-ish sea
::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::)
Ode, to Ye Salty Sea-Were-Dog, o' ye Universal Monster Navy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Call, of the Sea, drives 1VAN, WILD;
She says: "Come, back, to Me, My CHILD!"
'Tho', He took a VOTE,
To exit His BOAT;
The Sea-Water hath His veins, DEFILED!
::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER became, extremely, BORED;
Tired, of pillaging, that vengeful, Vasarian, Village HORDE;
So, he sought, out, a BRIDE,
Who reeked, of FORMALDEHYDE;
One look & She cried; He, needless, to say, never SCORED!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I wondered what to the party I could bring,
So I hopped on to my plane with a prayer and a wing,
How was I to know it would be so cold,
For when I was given the invite I was never told,
Alas I did get the last laugh my gift was the Thing.
When Maurice arrived with his cold frozen Thing
I looked at my carrots, fearing we'd brought the same thing
till his flawed out on a log
and turned into a frog
then got up to dance, and I swear I heard it sing!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA pondered this nagging THOUGHT:
"If, not, for this UNDEAD 'Life', then, Vat haf I GOT?"
'Twas a matter, of His PRIDE,
That, He'd "won", so, many, BRIDES;
During His Earth-life, 'twas, not, for what, He'd FOUGHT!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ >:D ~~ :angel: ~~ >:D ~~ :angel: ~~ >:D ~~~ :angel:
'Tis Time, for Moi, to "Go Limerick", AGAIN,
For ye Benefit, o', all, o' Moi UMA FRIENDS;
Better, a Punny RETRIEVAL,
Than "GOING MEDIEVAL!!!!",
For, we, all, know, how that One ENDS!!!
:angel: ~~~ >:D ~~ :angel: ~~ >:D ~~ :angel: ~~ >:D ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, dreamt, that, from His Crypt, He AROSE;
He reasoned: "In my blood-bath bed, I'm ahead, by a NOSE!"
His Blood-Thirst, permanently, SLAKED,
By a well-placed, sharp, Wooden STAKE;
Delivered, by Van HELSING, keeps DRAC, from being VERBOSE!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Drac's demise has been often penned,
but he arises again and again.
Each time he's undone
(By stake, silver, or sun)
he comes back, like a song with no end.
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~ :o ~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;)
Our Brother, 1VAN, is a Poet, SUPREME,
Writes Insights, just, like, a DREAM;
Makes Perfect SENSE,
Uses the Right TENSE;
And, keeps turning them, out, by the REAM!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~ :o ~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Tim's wit overflows; he can pluck it
To write poems enough to fill buckets
while my prose fills a ream
his busts through the seams
I could try to compete, but instead I'll just praise him on his ability to generate so many good and thematic limericks that always maintain the proper stanzas and rhyme schemes.
What did you THINK I was gonna say?
ededed ~~ ededed ~ ededed ~ ededed ~ ededed ~ ededed ~~ ededed
There, recently, passed, Dear JAMES ARNESS,
Whether SHERIFF, or, "THING", he was BEST!
He played a COWPOKE,
On TV'S "GUNSMOKE",
With GLENN "FRANKENSTEIN" STRANGE, We were BLESSED!!!
ededed ~~ ededed ~ ededed ~ ededed ~ ededed ~ ededed ~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 39849 times)
::) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ??? ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;)
Our IRISH LIMERICKS have reached 39,840 & 9,
Despite the "WARNING!", we're, still, doing FINE!
The UMA Stalwarts stop, by, for a READ,
Like, VAMPIRES, at a Blood-Bank, do FEED;
We service this unholy need; Puns flow, like, Olde WINE!
::) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ??? ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~ hmjfym ~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
A scant EIGHTY READS REMAINS,
Until a Round 40,000 we've GAINED;
'Tis year number THREE,
'O our LIMERICK SPREE;
My empty Skull feels, quite, "BRAINED"!
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~ hmjfym ~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
'Twas the Blood-thirsty VAMPIRE, from ALTOONA,
Who caused his female victims, to SWOON - AHHH!
Not, because, he was Suave, or, HANDSOME,
Rather, 'twas his breath, oh, so, LOATHSOME;
Out, of Etiquette, he drank their blood, from a SPOON - AH!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
'Twas a Blood-thirsty VAMPIRE, from CHINA,
Who said, that: "I, never, drink WINE!"- AHHH!
But, provide him, with SAKI,
'Til, tipsy, he'd say: "KNOCKI-KNOCKI!"
Then, reply: "Who's there?"... "FRANKENSTEINAH!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
'twas a vampire from 'round Appalachia
If you enter his domain then he'll chase 'ya
Should you happen to wander
to that graveyard o'er yonder
You might wish you were somewhere in Asia!
Author Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 40000 times)
:angel: ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ??? ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :angel:
Reader Number 40, 000, I, just, happened, to BE,
Perusing 1VAN'S LIMERICK, I chortled, with GLEE;
VAMPIRES "AHEAD, by a NOSE";
"A ROSE, IS A ROSE, IS A ROSE";
Our "Work" is, not, E.A. POE'S, but, 'tis, for, all, to SEE!
:angel: ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ??? ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Author Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 40000 times)
:o ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ :o
"'Twas BRILLIG and THE SLITHY TOVES",
Didst suffer, from MONSTER OVERLOAD;
In a Pickle, over The UNI CLASSICS,
They stopped, to munch a VLASIC;
Jousting, with Jests, just, one, for THE ROAD!
:o ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Tired of the classics? Now don't even start!
Monster Overload? That'd be the worst part!
When you crave the fantastic
bite into THIS classic;
"Even a man who is pure at heart..."
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
1VAN'S latest LIMERICK tastes "GOO-OO-OD!"
Invigorates me, into the LIMERICK MOOD;
1VAN invokes CLASSIC MONSTER ART,
So dear, to a MONSTER-KID'S HEART,
My advice: "DON'T PLAY, WITH YOUR FOOD!"
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ :o ~~~ :-*
There, once, dwelt a MUMMY, in "DA BRONX",
Who forsook his Life-Symbol, the ANX;
Stripped, of his WRAPPINGS,
His skin went A-FLAPPING;
His neighbours rewarded him, with BONKS!
::) ~~~ :o ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ :o ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel:
There's an olde ROMAN LEGION, of GHOSTS,
Who rent themselves, out, as PARTY HOSTS;
You, really, should see 'EM,
In the ROMAN COLLISEUM;
You'll exclaim: "They're First Rate! No BOAST!!!"
:angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a FLIPPERTY-GIBBET,
Who loved, to sing DEVO'S song "WHIP IT";
'Til, came that fateful DECEMBER,
When he could, not, REMEMBER,
Anything, more, than, just, a SNIPPET!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
Filmdom's 1st TEEN WOLF, sure, as I'm STANDIN',
With his celluloid death, "The Curse" did ABANDON;
He found Greener Pastures - BONANZA!
As you'll see, at the end, of this STANZA,
Our Star is "Highway To Heaven"'s MICHAEL LANDON!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-*
We cobble our words, into concept, then, NUDGE IT,
Feeble attempts, at Monster Puns, don't, BEGRUDGE IT;
Why, even, we, are known, to REPENT,
When we don't make, much, SENSE;
Even, at best, LIMERICKS are Verbal Kitsche, on a BUDGET!
::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
With Insane Rhyme-Scheme, I do PUTTER,
Under my breath, odd phrases, I MUTTER;
Poetic, oft, I do WAX,
With Limerick ATTACKS;
'Tho', sometimes, my mind's, in the GUTTER!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
With CLASSIC MONSTER LIMERICKS, I love, to PUTTER,
As a TV HORROR HOST, 'tis Moi BREAD and BUTTER;
My heart melts, in Me, like, WAX,
Visualizing VAMPIRE ATTACKS;
Or, the Charms, of feminine Brits, like, JENNY AGUTTER!
::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
My CLASSIC MONSTER LIMERICKS, Sometimes, SPUTTER,
As a TV HORROR HOST, I try, to avoid, being a "NUTTER";
My Head dictates the FACTS,
My Funny-Bone, WISE-CRACKS;
&, recalling Lady VAMPIRES, who send my heart, A-FLUTTER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
>:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~ ::) ~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:(
This WEREWOLF is MAD, I say! TWO Limericks, TONIGHT?!
Doth He strive, to spook the UMA, in serious A-FRIGHT?!
Or, mayhap, Time hangs, heavy, upon His HANDS,
Amid persistant urgings, from His LYCAN GLANDS;
Methinks, His Vile Humours require infecting others, QUITE!
>:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~ ::) ~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
REST, IN PEACE, EVERNOW, CLARENCE "BIG MAN" CLEMONS
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
CLARENCE CLEMONS has expressed his last NOTE,
Stilled, his amazing Sax can, no longer, EMOTE;
69 years, strong, on this PLANET,
Each Breath, shared, as he RAN IT;
Like, all, of us, this Life is "Quote" & "End Quote".
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o
WOWSERS! 'Twas, roughly, five decades, AGO,
That, I saw my First SHOCK THEATRE SHOW;
One look, at THE MONSTERS,
I was Hooked; went BONKERS;
Now, I HAUNT this UMA Site, as Ye WELL KNOW!
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
'Twas, once, upon a Mid-Night, EERIE,
In London-Towne, a Man, quite, SCARY;
Bared his mouth, full, of FANGS,
Amazed, we, all, said: "DANG!"
"Must be LON CHANEY, not, WALLACE BEERY!"
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
>:(~~~~ >:( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~ ededed ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:(
Oh, YES! THEY argue, about "IT", Their CURSE,
DRAC, FRANKIE & WOLFIE, about Who's is WORSE;
Then, enters THE MUMMY...
"Oh, Lads, don't be a DUMMY!"
"The WORST CURSE, is, to hear: 'WHO'S ON FIRST!'"
>:(~~~~ >:( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~ ededed ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~ :-X~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ :-X ~~~~~ ;D
"What might have been?" for THE BRIDE AND FRANKIE,
Life, as a Romantic Idyll, had She, not, turned "CRANKY";
Ye Pitter-Patter, of Little MONSTER FEET,
In 5-Pound BOOTIES, sounds, so, SWEET;
All, it needed, was a KISS... and, some HANKY-PANKY! ;)
;D ~~~~~ :-X~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ :-X ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
UNCLE FORRY, once, advanced this ASSERTION,
That, THE TRIFFIDS were over-grown NASTURTIUMS;
If Nasturtiums were the MA,
Then, who, was their PAPA;
None, other, than, the Prolific RICHARD BURTON!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPYR, from NAPLES,
Who "lived", upon the most basic, of STAPLES;
It was warm, rich, &, RED,
As befits THE UNDEAD;
From YOUR Neck, it was bled, not, from APPLES!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA'S DAUGHTER met DRACULA'S SON,
With villagers chasing them, away, they did RUN!
They tried, to take FLIGHT,
"BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT";
BAT-ASHES, They became: "HERE COMES THE SUN"!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, from COLOGNE,
Who had a BANK, full, of BLOOD, to LOAN;
Not, wishing, to OFFEND,
His closest, of FRIENDS;
He'd, cheaply, allow them, to "RENT-TO-OWN".
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, from PRAGUE,
Who, only, drank the BLOOD, out, of DOGS;
He and His BRIDE had a SPAT,
She, only, drank Blood, of CATS,
Which She ordered, from On-Line CAT-ALOGUES!
thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
"THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER ATTACKED!"
Blared the Headlines, armed, with the FACTS;
He'd gone, to see a MOVIE,
That wasn't, too, GROOVY;
So, He demanded, His Money, BACK!!!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a SPECTRE, who BELCHED,
The rumour, of his Presence, was SQUELCHED;
It, never, would DO,
To have, such, a "TO-DO";
But, at least, he could, never, be FELCHED!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a vile SPIRIT, from PHILLY,
Who would SCARE his victims, WILLIE-NILLY;
His Curse, they did SLAKE,
Using a Local CHEESE-STAKE;
With Green Pepper and Onion, FRESH, off, THE GRILLY!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE WEREWOLF goes, on his moon-lit PROWL,
Upon finding his prey, he emits a low GROWL;
His "victim" aims & fires his GUN,
Silver Bullet burns, like, the SUN;
This contest a Draw, WOLF throws, in the TOWEL!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
VAMPIRES travel, on the Wings, of NIGHT,
Their mode, of travel: As a BAT, in FLIGHT;
Into their Coffins, Before SUN-RISE,
Mis-timed; Oops! BIG SURPRISE!
To dust, they return, without a FIGHT.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D~~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
1VAN and LONG LIVE KONG qualify, as: "VERY HAIRY",
As I recall, so, is our fearless Leader, GENERAL TERRY;
Now, at 41,000 & 482 times, READ,
Our Beloved "Irish Limericks AHEAD",
Needs their input, to make this Thread, most, MERRIE!
TV HORROR, our Irish Bro', no, hair, doth LACK,
He knows, I trust, He's, always, welcome, BACK;
ELDER ROBERT, with beard, A-FLOWIN',
His Brilliant Wit was, oft, A-SHOWIN';
Their FINE CONTRIBUTIONS, right, on TRACK!
;D~~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There was a young man named Larry,
with a curse which left him quite hairy,
he became so depressed,
and somewhat obsessed,
that he longed to commit hari Kari!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ms. Darrow was a gal in great shape,
who once had a narrow escape,
from unwanted attentions,
of colossal dimensions,
from a rampaging fifty-foot ape!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~ ;) ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ ededed
LONG LIVE KONG hath provided two "WOWSERS",
LIMERICK COAT, with TWO PAIR, of TROUSERS;
This Thread they help, to MEND,
So, Good, to hear, Him, AGAIN;
In THANKS, for answering Moi PLEA, I say : "YAOUSER!"
;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~ ;) ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ thrhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Razz
Pages: 1 ... 105 106 [107]
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 41594 times)
« Reply #1594 on: July 05, 2011, 05:14:58 PM »
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ thrhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Razz
I think it's Neat; KISMET, that's, truly, SUBLIME,
IRISH LIMERICKS AHEAD, now, Read 41594 TIMES;
What reason could I, possibly, say this FOR?
On July 05, 2011, I wrote the Reply, #1594;
&, Here, I was going, to pen, an Ode, to GREEN SLIME!
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ thrhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA crept, cautiously, from His TOMB,
Uncertain, as, to, whether, He'd greet, Sun, or, MOON,
His digital clock had EXPIRED,
A case, of battery, MIS-WIRED;
He got a SOLAR-POWERED Clock/Radio; it plays TUNES!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
Woe, to those Fools, who defie THE MUMMY'S WILL,
For, their folly makes them his next Victim, to KILL;
One Bloke was a real SMARTY,
At KHARIS' 3700th Birthday PARTY,
When he said: "Wow, PRINCE, You're, OVER THE HILL!"
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Cool~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
There, once, "lived" a Mad ZOMBIE, named MUTZ,
Who found, most, delectable, his Victim's GUTS;
Most ZOMBIES go, for the BRAINS,
MUTZ thought THEM, INSANE;
Plus, He felt other ZOMBIES were Stuck, in a RUT!
Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Cool~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA has zero need, of CONNIVING,
When choosing new Brides, He's, not, STRIVING;
It's, really, OLDE HAT,
To make a NEW BAT;
It's, all, about the Throat, fom which He's IMBIBING!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D
I Believe, that, I'll "Take On" NUMBER 16-HUNDRED,
FOR, LIMERICK NUMBER 1599, I've, just, PLUNDERED;
LIMERICKS may come and GO,
Like MINNEAPOLIS' SNOW;
SOME, have been STELLAR; but, SOME, I've BLUNDERED!
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-[ ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ :o ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-[
There, once, was a sorry WEREWOLF, from WALES,
Who, quite, by accident, had severed his TAIL;
All, the LYCANTHROPES HOWLED,
By their jeers, he felt COWED;
As CHIEF INSPECTOR, by day, he had that Lot JAILED!
:-[ ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ :o ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::)
All, of this talk, about THE CLASSIC MONSTERS,
Makes me want, to "chow down", on LOBSTERS;
"THEY SAY", that, THE CURE,
For FLYING NON-SEQUITORS,
Is, to watch UNI CLASSICS, Starring THE LONSTER!
::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
There, once, was an odd, olde, man, from MADRID,
Who, they claimed, had the Heart, of a young KID;
He said, when shown, in local EXPOSITION,
That, it dated, to THE SPANISH INQUISITION;
Otherwise, he was, quite, furtive & kept it, WELL-HID!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
??? ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ???
I desired, to become The World's Greatest DETECTIVE,
'Til, I discovered, that, my Logic proved, DEFECTIVE,
As it turns, out, I hadn't a CLUE,
Of what Detectives, really, DO;
So, instead, I became an AUTONOMOUS WORKERS' COLLECTIVE!
??? ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 41989 times)
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ :o ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
We, LIMERICK POETS, feel, like, LITTLE JACK HORNER,
Especially, with #42,000, just, 'ROUND THE CORNER;
'Tis, "UP", with my THUMB,
To demonstrate my APLOMB;
Unless, upon reading this, you feel, like, a MOURNER!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ :o ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Quote from: long live kong on July 04, 2011, 04:26:16 PM
There was a young man named Larry,
with a curse which left him quite hairy,
he became so depressed,
and somewhat obsessed,
that he longed to commit hari Kari!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ms. Darrow was a gal in great shape,
who once had a narrow escape,
from unwanted attentions,
of colossal dimensions,
from a rampaging fifty-foot ape!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now these are Great!...and have the right meter for a limerick!!! + I'm a Kong Fan...Good Job!
Mcdee
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE lost restraint, of his unbridled LAUGHTER,
He'd bit the neck, of the dental patient, he'd been AFTER;
She was a very lovely LASS,
High, on Nitrous Oxide GAS;
His head went "Bats", then, Exploded, into the RAFTERS!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Quote from: Mcdee on July 18, 2011, 06:11:46 AM
Now these are Great!...and have the right meter for a limerick!!! + I'm a Kong Fan...Good Job!
Mcdee
Cheers Mcdee!
There once was a man named Igor,
who devised an unearthly rapport,
with an ungodly beast,
in a great woollen fleece,
to accomplish his murderous chores!
Instead of this Limerick thread
See "Did You Like Van Helsing?" instead
Though our rhymes are insulted
It only resulted
In a Limerick that has to be red!
I never insulted your rhymes
I merely mentioned at times
There rises a dread
When seeing this thread
Of perpetual linguistic crimes
;)
Scatter my friend for some time,
No offense was taken, no crime,
It's all tongue in cheek
and a tribute to Meek
I just had to find some word to rhyme!
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ :( ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :( ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
Br'er PACKY, He, of Noble LIMERICK BEARING,
Oft, mocks the Word-Choices, I'm WEARING;
About THE UNDEAD,
They're, not, as WELL-READ;
Or, mayhap, They're, just, "HARD-OF-HERRING"!
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ :( ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :( ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Dracula had to cut staffing.
His flying girl Vampires by halfing.
Then he hired a killer
her name Phyllis Diller
And in the end he UN-DIED laughing!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT ALUCARD collected much DELFT,
Which He bought, from Holland's ELVES;
But, you'll pardon the PUN,
DRAC got caught, in the SUN;
That DAY, He made an ASH, of HIMSELF!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Quote from: long live kong on July 04, 2011, 04:26:16 PM
There was a young man named Larry,
with a curse which left him quite hairy,
he became so depressed,
and somewhat obsessed,
that he longed to commit hari Kari!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ms. Darrow was a gal in great shape,
who once had a narrow escape,
from unwanted attentions,
of colossal dimensions,
from a rampaging fifty-foot ape!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Those are good indeed. Limericks with no errors in metre are a pleasure to read.
8)
There once was an actor named Bela
A rising Hungarian fella'
Whose prospects weren't good
So he hooked up with Wood
Till his fortunes sunk into the cella'
Dracula met a new Cutie
Interpreted her act as snooty
He gave her his kiss
Her lips did he miss
Not knowing her name "Sleeping Beauty"!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA went, on a BINGE,
Which made the local folks CRINGE;
They, all, went, so, MAD,
Accursed, by PRINCE VLAD;
Like, RENFIELD, they were UNHINGED!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie LOL
I, once, knew a ZOMBIE, in SPATS,
Who ate the Brains, out, of GNATS;
'Twas easy, you SEE,
To find this DELICACY;
His ROT attracts lots, then... KERSPLAT!
Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Touche Good Baron...and would you say...
Though most his attire quite ratty,
that Zombie appeared a posh Laddie.
Detractors did quiet
because of his diet
His Spats were convincingly GNATTY!
BR'ER PACKY,
Indubitably, yes!
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Said ZOMBIE ballooned, into, quite, the FATTY,
Eating GNATS, pre-formed, into Hamburger PATTY;
'Twas, not, out, of PITY,
He received the KEY, to the CITY;
For He'd consumed every GNAT, in Olde CINCINNATI!
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Of late I have been somewhat unseen,
Mainly because of illness and me being green,
A suspected heart attack caused my fall,
Leaving me broken ribs and arms and all,
I've now recovered that's where I've been.
Many thanks Tim for noticing me absent it's much appreciated my friend.
P.S
Now I know how a rubber ball feels.
BROTHER MAURICE,
... GREAT, TO HEAR, FROM YOU! YOU HAVE BEEN MISSED!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
TV HORROR is, MORE, than, just, "Some LIMERICK HACK",
A Great HEART beats, within, to keep Him, ON TRACK;
His Unique LIMERICK VOICE,
Reminds me, o' JAMES JOYCE;
I'm, glad, that, He's bounced, back, from His Heart ATTACK!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Suspected my dear Baron not proven,
It was the blackout that near finished me near the hot oven,
Crack went my head crunch went my arm,
So for a few minutes my lights were out of harm,
As soon as I awoke to the ambulance I was behoven.
It is always a pleasure to hear from you Tim, thank God it was only a false alarm as I live to Limerick another day.
We're all quite glad that Maurice is back
And that his arm's no longer slack, or his ribs still mostly cracked
To see you're okay
truly makes my day
And spared US from having a heart attack!
Hello my friend 1Van your concern for my health is touching, but as you say I'm back with a bounce.
In old London town tonight the fog is thick,
As I make my way through the arches of brick,
Whistling to myself while greeting the odd female,
One took my eye but she was in the company of a rude male,
So I grabbed him by the arm and he pulled away but not without a thump of my stick.
This tale sound like quite the tripper ;D
Perhaps Maurice was mistook for the Ripper :o
With a dame as the prize :-*
just ignore others' cries :'(
and be good, or at least be a good tipper >:D
With a shot in the humerus I anoint
you the funniest folks in the joint.
We needle each other
one pun then another
To sharpen our wits, get the point?
:angel:~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~ :angel:
LIFE imitates Art, I, lamely, ADMIT,
My Dunce-Cap, a nice, woolen, KNIT;
Like Li'l JACK HORNER,
I sit, in a CORNER;
Whilst On-Line, I'm a Twittering TWIT!
:angel:~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
Of late, at night, I hang out, in a different 'HOOD,
Where Aliens & Humans become the devil's BROOD;
A Spin-Off, of DR. WHO,
Who's, out, of the BLUE;
Cap't. JACK HARKNESS, and, the Show: TORCHWOOD!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
I'm not sure how this MIRACLE DAY would work
in a world full of undead, immortality's a quirk.
T'was a wise monster who said
(to his bride) "We belong dead!"
but on THIS day he'd just look like a jerk.
Crazy he may be but ain't seen what he done,
1van has got guts to call the monster a jerk without a gun,
With being a former member of the services let us hope,
That old mother nature never raised a full time dope,
But being a werewolf howling at the Moon will help in the fun.
:o ~~~ :'( ~~ ;D ~ tynhrt ~ ;D ~~ :'( ~~~ :o
This SUMMER is flying, no LIE,
'Tis, now, the last day, o' JULY;
If we run, thru AUGUST,
'Nother Summer is "BUST!";
But, HALLOWEEN comes, BY-AND-BY!
:o ~~~ :'( ~~ ;D ~ tynhrt ~ ;D ~~ :'( ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o
There, once, was a SHARK, named BRUCE,
Who would, not, even, consider a TRUCE;
For those, who dwell, on LAND,
He would bite, off, their HAND;
Then, continue His Blood-Thirsty ABUSE!
:o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
The Wolf man was insulted on a pleasure boat,
A man accused him of looking like a goat,
Who are you to be so rude,
Why it's my job to intrude,
For I'm the captain while we stay afloat.
Werewolves tend to dislike the sea
(you doubt? on this you should trust me)
they can bite, slash, and bark
but that won't stop a shark,
the ultimate cure for lycanthropy
:laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh:
We, WEREWOLVES, have an Epoch, of HISTORY,
How our Breed evolved, still, a Great MYSTERY;
Yet, SHARKS have us, all, BEAT,
{'Tho' we, both, love, to EAT!};
With 400 million yrs, of inflicting Their MISERY!
:laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Bruce was his name but not his lark,
He loved to bite because it was better than his bark,
While swimming in the sea,
He always felt so free,
Yet he still became the Worlds most famous shark.
There once was a beast named Godzilla,
who fought with a king-sized Gorilla,
in a brawl so immense,
it required air defence,
the greatsest fight since Ali in manila!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs Jones was slow to pull her drapes,
She lent over to grab a bowl of grapes,
But being so old she smashed them to bits,
Oh deary deary me look at all those fallen grits,
A large paw clawed at her fruit it was one of those damed apes.
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
'Tis about Time, that, I scribe a LIMERICK, AGAIN,
Concerning those GHOULS, whom, I call MY FRIENDS;
TV HORROR, LONG LIVE KONG,
PACKY PAUL; What a THRONG!
El KABONG, in a THONG, Singing a SONG ;) THE END!
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ tynhrt ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
There, once, was a GHOST, in JAPAN,
Who lost his life, and, his right HAND;
In His HOME, it was MADE,
One mean HAND-GRENADE;
That, just, didn't go, off, as PLANNED!
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ tynhrt ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
The werewolf decided to come by the roof,
By on the slippery shingles he caught his hoof,
Now what will he do before dawn,
For the hunters already had their sights drawn,
Then a bat flew down grabbed him and then poof.
Three hunters entered Transylvania
determined to end Monster Mania!
When the first one was eaten
his buddies started beatin'
their feet -- as they ran home to Pennsylvania
;) ~~~ 8) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ 8) ~~~ ;)
I'm The MONSTER, who wins THE SLIME,
For reading this, on its 44,000th TIME;
Aw, shucks, 'tweren't NUTHIN'',
I'm such a STUD=MUFFIN;
I hopes, you'll find my meter SUBLIME!
;) ~~~ 8) ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ 8) ~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ ededed ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
THE MONSTER ran, through the SWAMP,
With, less, than Ceremonial POMP;
Approaching Villagers, BEHIND,
He paid the 'Gators, no MIND;
'Til the Biggest & Baddest went "CHOMP"!
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ ededed ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~ ;) ~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
QUASIMODO was caught, drinking GIN,
DOM FROLLO admonished: "It's a SIN!"
THE HUNCHBACK RETIRED,
Rather, than be FIRED;
To avoid the Infamy, of being, a "GIN HAS-BEEN"!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~ ;) ~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Grin
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, WALTER,
Whose Legendary Fame, began, to FALTER;
Was his "Life" ETERNAL?
"Yes, quite, INFERNAL!"
Said he, as he jumped, off, the Cliffs, of GIBRALTAR!
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :) ~ Zombie LOL ~ :) ~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D
Your Funny-Bones, I try, to TICKLE,
Sometimes, Ye Limerick god, FICKLE;
If I can't get a LAUGH,
I'll take a GROAN-BATH;
From CLASSIC, to VLASIC, Wotta PICKLE!
;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :) ~ Zombie LOL ~ :) ~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 44144 times)
(Read 44144 times)
(Read 44144 times)
;) palindrome ;)
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o
Where'd he go; where did PAUL LYNDE ROAM,
He was, of yore, my best olde PAL, IN ROME;
Forwards-Backwards GAME,
Each way, remains, the SAME;
Thus, NUMERICALLY, we have a PALINDROME!
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Paul Lynde was once the hooded claw,
His villiany scared even a jackdaw,
I loved his voice and sly laugh,
As the claw he was so suave,
he was likeable even putting Penelope under a large saw.
Jerry Dandridge is back for another bite,
A remake it's true but what a sight,
He can charm his known foe's,
Leaving them shivering to their toes,
But one thing is certain it is Fright night
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool
I, once, met a ZOMBIE, from YORK,
Who ate Brains, using, both, Knife & FORK;
"The most Scrumptious DISH,
Which I, now, most, MISS;
Was some ALIEN FELLOW, named MORK."
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 44244 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
Another Hundred Readings plow, BY,
Like VAMPIRES, that, take wing & FLY;
These LIMERICKS SUCK,
With a N-YUK, N-YUK, N-YUK;
CURLEY Fries, on my Face... &, a PIE?!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THIS LIMERICK I HURL, ATCHOO!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL
The CAULDRON was Boiling HOT,
The WITCH'S Nose dripped SNOT;
Then, - GASP! - "IT" AROSE,
A HEAD, by a Runny NOSE;
Thus the GHOST, of a Cold, was CAUGHT!
Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNTESS DRACULA desired a new MAN,
Whose BLOOD was, reportedly, GRAND;
Into his Neck, sank her FANGS,
Her last words, were: "DANG!"
"All his Garlic has destroyed Me & my PLAN!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Set in the snow I love these chillers,
Especially made with a lot of thrillers,
The hunters were inept,
The victims in their room were kept,
The Fearless vampire killers.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
I vacate my Crypt, for the NIGHT,
'Neath moon-light, I take FLIGHT;
Sweeping, out, of the SKY,
Sated, on my BLOOD-HIGH;
Fly "Home", by the Dawn's early LIGHT.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~ >:( ~~ :'( ~~ >:D ~~ :'( ~~ >:( ~~~ :o
Today, there's a MONSTER, IRENE,
She's Big, She's Fast & She's MEAN;
She's ripping, through CAROLINA, :'(
Got NEW YORK, on Her MIND - Aaah! :'(
Her WORST, is, yet, to be SEEN!
:o ~~~ >:( ~~ :'( ~~ >:D ~~ :'( ~~ >:( ~~~ :o
PRAYERS, FOR ALL INVOLVED!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
>:( ~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~ :( ~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:(
THE WOLFMAN howled, in PAIN,
Seems he'd been trapped, AGAIN;
Along came MALEVA,
A Blessed REPRIEVE -AH!
Set free, LARRY disappeared, in the RAIN.
>:( ~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~ :( ~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a GHOST, from SEATTLE,
Who spent his After-Life scaring CATTLE;
"Their frightened 'MOOOOS',
Get me, higher, than BOOZE!"
Said he, as if, THAT was Half The BATTLE!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 44436 times)
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym
'Tis my Hope, that, READER Number 44,444,
Shalt scribe a quick Lim'rick, o' Blood & GORE;
Draw your PUN-GUN,
& shoot yer Wit, SON;
Hit the Bull's-Eye, &, we may Beg, for MORE!
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
If the Bull's Eye could truly be hit
And obliterated with wit,
the result would be tops-
a Bovine Cyclops!
and most likely a little bull-***t.
;)~~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Alien ~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;)
PACKY PAUL hath "A WAY, WITH WORDS",
Or, "Milking" Puns: A WHEY, WITH CURDS;
By adding a little, spicy, ZIP,
Whence, he let his last Line SLIP;
He, astutely, inferred, it occurred, with T**DS.
;)~~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Alien ~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym
SEPTEMBER wends, onward, into OCTOBER,
Autumnal breezes render us, UN-SOBER;
High, as a KITE,
On Fall's DELIGHTS,
Like, HARRYHAUSEN SKELETONS rattling SABRES!
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~ :-[ ~~~ >:D ~ Zombie LOL ~ >:D ~~~ :-[ ~~~ :o
WITCHES, three, attended a posh PARTY,
The decorations were, so, veddy ARTSY;
They brought, along, some GRUB,
That smelled, like, BEEZELBUB;
Tasted, like, hell, &, made one, quite, FARTY.
:o ~~~ :-[ ~~~ >:D ~ Zombie LOL ~ >:D ~~~ :-[ ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There was a Grave-Digger, from LUCERNE,
Who, often, spent, more, than he EARNED;
He robbed a VAMPIRE'S GRAVE,
Which led him, into a Huge CAVE;
Sadly, he vanished, ne'ermore, to RETURN!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER stood, shocked and AGHAST,
Unbelieving, that his Creator had PASSED:
"He never made me a BRIDE,
Nor, cared, when I CRIED;
My Revenge proved a most Fiendish TASK."
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
??? ~~~ :o ~~~ :D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :D ~~~ :o ~~~ ???
I wonder, sometimes, what makes me TICK,
Possessed, by this desire, to write LIMERICK;
Please, don't call a COP,
He can't make me STOP;
Save, the Will, of GOD & the Rise, of the CRICK!
??? ~~~ :o ~~~ :D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :D ~~~ :o ~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
A new VAMPIRE was talking SMACK,
Putting, down, the class act, of DRAC;
His diatribe FAILED,
When he was IMPALED,
By PRINCE VLAD'S Stealthy ATTACK!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Dracs dentures were getting too tight.
So without a reliable bite,
said "I really don't vant this
I hate Orthodontists.
But I'll drink Bloody Mary's tonight!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA walked, through the dirt & got MUDDY,
He sighed: "I feel, like, an Olde FUDDY-DUDDY!"
Drinking BLOOD, from a GLASS,
Showed DRAC, still, had CLASS;
So, "Be vewy afwaid!", ELMER FUDD, Ol' BUDDY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Quasimodo got a sudden fright,
He busted his face what a sight,
All because the wind blew the heavy door,
And knocked the poor bellringer to the floor,
The upside was he thought he heard a bell and came here to fight.
8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~ 8) ~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8)
I lodge my DRAGON, inside, of the STABLE,
To pull the Wagon, whene'er, he is ABLE;
Because he has WINGS,
Roads are difficult THINGS;
He'll walk, for a Picture, of BETTY GRABLE.
8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~ 8) ~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 44953 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
We, now, return, to the Scene, of our CRIMES:
IRISH LIMERICKS, AHEAD, read 44,953 TIMES!
This One is DOUSIN'
For Number 45,000;
Unwed, or, UNDEAD, they Scare, off, THE MIMES!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
{Mayhap, that is why MARCEL MARCEAU doesn't post!}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Two hands in the air!
The end.
I hope that zee likes this one, baron.
MARCEL MARCEAU
::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::)
There was, once, an INVISIBLE MIME,
Who, silently, sat, biding His TIME;
With, nothing, to SAY,
He could linger, all, DAY;
Then, Disappear, after committing a CRIME.
::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::)
Posts-Crypt: THANKS, MAURICE~! Good Work!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 45054 times)
Forwards and Backwards, yet, AGAIN,
A Concept, that's, like, an olde FRIEND;
Four - Five - 0 - Five - FOUR,
There's bound, to be, MORE;
So, Palindromes roam, right, to THE END!
:) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ ::) ~~~ :D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt
Time moves, onward, heeding THE CALL,
To prove Wisdom, then, so, must, we, ALL;
This LIMERICK, a REASON,
Birth HALLOWEEN'S SEASON;
Summer is, over; 'tis Ye 1st Day, of FALL!
thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~ :( ~~ :-\ ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ :-\ ~~ :( ~ :-X
Sometimes, it seems, like, a CHORE,
Thinking, back, to our Days, of YORE;
BORIS, BELA & LON,
Sadly, LONG, GONE;
Bitter-Sweet, as we, still, Yearn, for MORE!
:'( ~ :( ~~ :-\ ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ :-\ ~~ :( ~ :-X
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
White zombie had Bela with the expressive hands,
With a gesture here he awaited his voodoo bands,
But they were unholy and not allowed,
Yet as we know he came disavowed,
So he met his fate in those voodoo badlands.
sfsrefs ~~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~~ sfsrefs
We're approaching OCTOBER, THE FIRST,
The Month, that, with MONSTERS, is CURSED;
We celebrate THE UNDEAD,
With a Shot, in THEIR HEAD;
Or, a STAKE, through the Heart, then... THEY BURST!
sfsrefs ~~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~~ sfsrefs
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Confused
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, from BEDLAM,
Who lived, upon Brains, made, of SPAM;
He'd seek, out, his LUNCH,
Then, savour the CRUNCH,
Of thick-skulled Techno-Geeks, on the LAM!
Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There was an obese VAMPYR, from PERTH,
Who wasn't, strictly, an Aussie, by BIRTH;
He, happily, gave THANKS,
To the local BLOOD-BANKS;
For providing his "Native Blood"... & his GIRTH!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
CHICK and WILBUR met COUNT DRACULA;
They, nervously, laughed: "HA-HA-HA!"
They stopped LAUGHIN',
Upon seeing His COFFIN;
To become UNDEAD, would stick, in their CRAW!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
hmjfym ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ hmjfym
The GIANT PIRANHAS started Their FEAST,
A BLOOD-FRENZY, that gnawed, UNAPPEASED;
They were Biting, all, NIGHT;
Their Victims tried, to FIGHT,
Yet, They ended, up, SKELETAL and DECEASED!
hmjfym ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
When the Piranhas attacked recently
(and their body-counted tallied in Three-Dee)
they cut into like saws
a survivor from JAWS;
Richard Dreyfuss should just avoid the sea.
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o
There, once, was a Vampire, from MINNEAPOLIS;
Who claimed, he was turned, by DRAC'S Li'l SIS;
They found his BLOOD-LINE,
Came, partly, from SWINE;
PORKY PIG Cartoon Festivals put him, in BLISS!
:o ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Unknown primate is off his game,
He had a heart attack which is lame,
Let us hope that he can join us again,
Writing limericks which are insane,
So we are waiting mark for more of the same.
let us hope and pray for a full recovery, as he is missed by his fellow UMA members.
Quote from: tv horror on October 12, 2011, 04:16:19 PM
Unknown primate is off his game,
He had a heart attack which is lame,
Let us hope that he can join us again,
Writing limericks which are insane,
So we are waiting mark for more of the same.
let us hope and pray for a full recovery, as he is missed by his fellow UMA members.
Indeed. Lurking in the shadows just isn't as much fun without him. :'(
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :) ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
May this LIMERICK Ode be a FEAST,
To mark, that, MARK is our Favourite BEAST;
A PRIMATE, UNKNOWN,
Or, His Well-Known CLONE;
We want YOU, ALIVE, HEALth, INCREASED!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :) ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE confessed, to his SHRINK:
"I'm, not, the Monster, that, most people THINK;
It's true, I love BLOOD,
But, I sleep, in the MUD,
It gives me The Creeping Crud, and, I STINK!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
This year I get to live my dream
of getting paid to make people scream
In the fun house I am but a Clown
who jumps out and frightens all I have found
visiting Spooky World: Fear at Fenway in olde Boston Towne!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
HALLOWEEN-TIME is comin', 'round, AGAIN;
OCTOBER'S such a Fun Month, to SPEND;
Birthday's: Bela's, Lennon's & MINE;
Monster make-up: FRANKENSTEIN;
Anniversary: the 2nd, with BETH, my BEST FRIEND!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
A SAFE AND HAPPY HO-O-O-OWL-L-L-L-O-W-E'EN, TO, ALL, O' MY UMA FANG-MILY!
:o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ :o
In a few hours, hence, 'twill be OCTOBER 31st!
When THE UNDEAD seek, to be RE-IMBURSED;
Bribed, with Candy & TREATS,
They'll, gladly, be DEAD, On Their FEET;
Door-to-door, not, a Bore, for Those, UN-re-HEARSED!
:o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
NOV. 23rd, A.D. 1887, &, 1939, + NOV. 24th, A.D. 1916
:angel: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ :angel:
On the Heels, o' ALL-HALLOW'S E'EN,
A Month, famed, for going, so, GREEN;
I know, that, you care, uh,
'Bout Babies, BORIS & SARAH;
Then, 4SJ's B'Day is, really, quite, KEEN!
:angel: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a MAD ZOMBIE, named SAM;
Into his mouth, Victim's Brains, he would CRAM;
Ever, on the ALERT,
He, never, got HURT;
'Til TNT, in BERT & ERNIE'S Heads, went KER-BLAM!!!
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
Fiendish VAMPIRES love, to have FUN,
Biting helpless Villagers, on the RUN;
From Dusk, until DAWN,
They "Get Their Hunt, ON";
Then, avidly, avoid TOO MUCH SUN!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie In Luv ~ ededed ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie In Luv ~~ ededed
We are, now, up, to Page # 114,
So far, I'm the only one, SEEN;
So, UMA FANG-MILY,
Please, join, in, with ME;
As Nov. Limerick B'days' GO GREEN!
ededed ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie In Luv ~ ededed ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie In Luv ~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
It's true I've not been heard much or seen
My work was continued the week past Halloween
I was screaming and terrorizing the town
in 30 degree weather, dressed up as a clown
Now I've a cold and no voice and quite frankly I feel none to keen!
The Bride's arm wrap did not match her gown.
She screamed and made poor Frankie frown.
Then his own garb reminded
she was just being CLOTHES MINDED
(I know that's a wrong use of noun)
Good Timothy I hear your plea
for more MONSTER Limrix from me
and heed it I will
there's at least millions still
with the Grace of the Punpowers that be!
There once was a magical time
when I could not speak if not in pun rhyme.
These short poems my vehicle
for jokes I find lyrical
A cerebral version of mime.
Now I fear I cannot stop.
It begins anew a new crop.
Poems rapping like Poe
I just can't say no
but that Bennet Cerf would certainly top!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
Beloved Brethren, Thou dost Moi, most, PROUD,
"I LOVE THE UMA!" Oft, do I shout it, ALOUD;
Whilst my Cyber-Visits be SMALL,
Amid These Unhallowed HALLS;
Thy Company hath, in Moi Heart, Great JOY, ENDOWED!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;) DRACULA NEVER SAID: "I NEVER DRINK.... WINOS!" ;)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
'Twas a night, well-spent, in the creepy, olde, HOUSE,
Where, by chance, I ran, into DRACULA'S SPOUSE;
Said I: "So, where is Thine HUBBY?"
She replied: "Aye, there's the Rub-by!"
"He's 'Bar-Patron-Hopping', in an attempt, to get SOUSED!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
I wish, to, all, o' my Beloved FANG-MILY, in THE UMA,
A, most, Safe & Gloriously THANK-FULL TURKEY-DAY;
Whilst We walk, on this SOD,
May Food Heal Our BODS;
As We await, THAT GREAT FEAST, WHO Will, SOMEDAY, Hold SWAY!
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
BORIS and SARA JANE'S Birthdays are PAST,
UNCA FORRY'S, too, lest, I be OUT-CLASSED;
For the sake, of THIS RHYME,
LIMERICKS read 46,953 TIMES;
Yes, Number 47,000 is coming, up, FAST!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed
IRISH LIMERICKS AHEAD, always, come, with a WARNING,
UMA'S Fertile Minds bludgeon, all, with Limericks, A-BORNING;
Read, now, 47,097 TIMES,
Ours, 'tis a TOPIC, DIVINE;
Them-thar "Gods & MONSTERS", make Wares, worthy, o' CORNING!
thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN played CARDS,
'Twas a Deadly Duel, as symbolic, as SWORDS;
Vowing: "Winner take ALL!"
'Twouldst make thy Flesh CRAWL;
Two FAMOUS MONSTERS, out, of their GOURDS!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Nuetral
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named GROMMIT,
Who cooked his Victims' BRAINS, in Fresh VOMIT:
"The unique flavour, of BARF,
Makes them, good, for a LARF;
Then, for a CHASER, I quaff Vodka, with COMET!"
Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Nuetral
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Mad
That vile ZOMBIE Horde hath invaded my HOUSE,
They ate my autographed photo, of JULIET PROWSE;
They ate my REFRIDGERATOR,
& my Statue, of DARTH VADER;
'Til, with Gas {& a Match}, Them, I didst DOUSE!
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
A Fencing Master and VAMPIRE, named JERRY,
Fought, with his Quarry, Thrust and PARRY;
Their sword-play got ROUGH,
JERRY, proved, not, good, ENOUGH;
'Til, STAKED; "What the?!" was His last QUERY!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
When you mention Jerry I think of FRIGHT NIGHT
A vampire flick that had lots of bite
It came out in the Eighties
and was a hit with the ladies
Now there's a remake; and that's REAL cause for a fright!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
CRAZY IVAN, bravely, carries, this LIMERICK FIGHT,
Acknowledging a CAUSE, Specific, for FRIGHT;
He's a MONSTER KID, SUPREME,
{When he lays, off, the JIM BEAM};
Still, you'll hear me, Cheer: "THIS KID IS ALRIGHT!"
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
In mid-air, SANTA and DRACULA did COLLIDE,
With Jolly Patience, ST. NICK took it, in STRIDE;
THE COUNT, in BAT-FORM,
Expressed The HOLIDAY NORM;
His CHRISTMAS Gift Wish-List, for His BRIDE!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The RITA'S prop did not pause.
Poor Creature lost one of his paws.
But then Santa came,
giving up his last name...
"Merry Christmas! You now have a full set of Claus!"
(Santa regenerates like a Chameleon but that's another tail)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-[ ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
There, once, was a SWAMP CREATURE, named DANIEL,
Who, due, to his Mis-Shapen Plight, lived, in DENIAL;
He travelled, AFAR,
{Swam, not, by CAR};
He got "ET", in Egypt, by a huge Crocodile, in de NILE!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-[ ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 47940 times)
This TOPIC'S "TIMES, READ", now, stands, at: 47,900 & 40!
By 01/01, heed this WARNING: Break 48,000; so, SPORTY!
IRISH LIMERICKS, AHEAD,
Begs, all, The UMA UNDEAD,
To Rise, Up, &, Be Counted; make this Skirmish, a SORTIE!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
on: December 30, A.D. 2011
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 47940 times)
on: January 1, A.D. 2012
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 47979 times)
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ :-* ~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
One Hundred and Thirty-Nine Reads, LATER,
My New Year's Day, spent, on a FREIGHTER;
'Round, The CAPE, Of Good HOPE,
Meant, that, BELA could COPE;
'Til, Next Time, Moi Fang-Mily: "LATER, GATOR!"
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ :-* ~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
WOW! I just happened, to be BROWSIN',
And, I noticed, that, I'm Number 48,000;
Yesterday's POST,
Gave, up, The GHOST;
Too many Holiday Spirits, I'd been DOWNIN'!
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE WEREWOLF OF LONDON, suddeny, SPRANG,
At The VAMPIRE, After MIDNIGHT, who SANG;
Like, a Theme, out, of FRANK CAPRA,
BEAST MEETS PHANTOM, OF THE OPERA;
Like, when ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER MET ARNOLD STANG!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
THE TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, in his Carfax Abby ruins, LOOMS,
Suavely Noble Traveller, with the choicest TOMBS;
Elegant Style and Nocturnal APLOMB;
Eschews the BLOOD, from every BUM;
Yet, his hHAMMER Wives, Refined, with great BAZOOMS!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
Topic: WARNING :Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 48135 times)
8) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ 8)
This New Year goes a-flying, BY,
Twenty-Twelve shall, most, surely, FLY;
50,000 Reads, I PRAY,
By ST. PADDY'S DAY;
In Honour, o' MEEK & UNCLE DRAC,, that's WHY!
8) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
LAWRENCE TALBOT was, always, CONTRITE,
When Awakened, after a bad Full-Moon NIGHT;
Unable, to resist, and, WIN,
Over His Hideous SIN;
THE WOLF-MAN'S Fateful Truth: "IT BITES!"
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie Alien ~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie LOL
There, once, was a MONSTER, named MONTY,
Whose Breath, in Death, was, quite, MINTY;
Charming quality, ASIDE,
He drank FORMALDEHYDE;
Which made his Skin, very Scaly and FLINTY!
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie Alien ~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 48488 times)
:laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :laugh: ~ :laugh: ~ :laugh: ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh:
Another MONSTER Limerick INVADES; thrhrt
Digging Them, up, I rely, on SPADES; ededed
This COFFIN, of SLIME, Zombie Shocked
Read 48,488 TIMES; :o
Is CLASSIC, as The 1/2-WIT, O' TRADES... ;)
:laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :laugh: ~ :laugh: ~ :laugh: ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~ thrhrt ~~ :'( ~ thrhrt ~ :'( ~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'(
DRACULA and RENFIELD seemed, really, TIGHT,
It began, in TRANSYLVANIAN MOON-LIGHT;
'Tho, for BLOOD, he did DROOL,
RENFIELD was, not, just, a TOOL;
He tried, to protect MINA, in her wicked PLIGHT.
:'( ~~~ thrhrt ~~ :'( ~ thrhrt ~ :'( ~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
There, once, was a GHOUL, named BORIS,
Who robbed a Cemetery, in the FOREST;
No Cadaver was SAFE,
From his need, to QUAFF;
So, said the local newspapers, in CHORUS!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ ::) ~~ :D ~ ;) ~ :D ~~ ::) ~~~ :o
There, once, was a DINOSAUR, T-REX,
Who went & did what no one EXPECTS;
In Pre-Historic ENVIRON,
He began PUMPING IRON;
&, wound, up, with a Huge Set, of PECS!
:o ~~~ ::) ~~ :D ~ ;) ~ :D ~~ ::) ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:D~~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;)
There, once, was a CHOCOLATE, from MARS,
Who was accustomed, to playing GUITARS;
He gained Martian FANS,
Upon joining a BAND;
Singing "I WANT CANDY", in, all, THE MAR'S BARS!
:D~~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~ :-[ ~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ ;)
LIMERICKS are sooo Retro & COOL,
At their BEST, when Writ, by a FOOL;
Just, for a LARK,
I go, out, after DARK;
&, Slip, on something, comfy: LIVERPOOL!
::) ~~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~ :-[ ~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~~~~ thrhrt
March 17th will arrive, once, AGAIN,
Awaiting much Input, from FRIENDS;
'Tis a great DAY,
For our olde UMA;
4th ANNIVERSARY shows up, in DEPENDS!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 48900 times)
It DEPENDS, on how you capture GREEN SLIME:
Is THE HULK, really, a FRUIT, that's SUB-LIME?!
Oopsi; another Bad JOKE,
But, please, don't CROAK;
With KERMIT'S Voice, say: "Limericks read 48,900 TIMES!"
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :angel: ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
To produce 50,000 Reads, in EARNEST,
Is the High, Tough Road, to LEARNETH;
If our Camp is Alert & ABOARD,
Or, our camp is just Tired & BORED;
Towards the top, o' this Chart, we BURNETH!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :angel: ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~ ededed ~~ :'( ~ ededed ~ :'( ~~ ededed ~~~ :'(
THE MONSTER searched, far & WIDE,
For some Lass, to become his BRIDE;
What the 2 Doktors MADE,
Made The CREATURE DEGRADE;
Into that Most DEADLY SIN, of PRIDE.
:'( ~~~ ededed ~~ :'( ~ ededed ~ :'( ~~ ededed ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~ :o ~ :o ~ >:( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :-*
ERIK, THE PHANTOM, like DYLAN, went ELECTRIC,
His Fans went Berserk; thought Him, too, ECLECTIC;
He took them, to TASK,
By removing His MASK;
They retreated, with Shuddering FITS, APOPLECTIC!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~ :o ~ :o ~ >:( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~ :D ~~~ :) ~~ ;) ~~ :) ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;D
We're slidding, on, through FEBRUARY,
A Month, yet, remains, to make MERRY;
On MARCH, SEVENTEEN,
We'll be "Wearin' The GREEN";
Moi Plea: "Vent Thy Spleen, do, not, TARRY!"
;D ~~~~ :D ~~~ :) ~~ ;) ~~ :) ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER strangled some MIMES,
Because, they refused, to finish these RHYMES;
To save you, from their FATE,
I've decided, not, to WAIT;
SO: WARNING: Irish Limericks, now, read 49,399 TIMES!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 49500 times)
500, more, to go; 'tis, only, ST. VALENTINE'S DAY!
:-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~ :-* ~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-*
199 Reads, in little, more, than a DAY;
Our ARMY chimes, in: GOD Bless THE UMA!
Hoo-ray, for UN-DEATH;
I'm, not, wasting my BREATH;
Our Dead-Line reached, 'ere ST. PADDY'S DAY!
:-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~ :-* ~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
Time, now, for a Valentine's Holiday PUN,
Memorable use, of a knife, not, a GUN;
Their plans, in a SNARL,
Our poor, old, friend, KARL;
Took HEART, &, said: "It's a very fresh ONE!"
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA'S Brides were His SLAVES,
Yet, about their Hubby, they'd RAVE;
By day, they would GAB;
"Oh, Our DRAC is, so, FAB!"
So much, for "The Silence, Of The GRAVE"!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
I'm writing, to THANK YOU, for SPEED,
In, all, of your Generous Recent READS;
We'll, soon, be ESPOUSIN',
The Great FIFTY THOSAND;
Honouring MEEK & UNCULA'S Limerick CREED!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 49737 times)
;)~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
Still, flying, high, like, a BOEING 737,
This jettisoned cargo is, akin, to LEAVEN;
We, all, love THE COUNT,
Obvious: "I Luff, to COUNT!";
Ye Olde Irish Limericks Count is, now, 49,737!
;)~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 49830 times)
With, merely, 170 reads, REMAINING,
We are The Limerick Champs, REIGNING;
Amazing, to CONCEIVE,
But, you'd better BELIEVE;
Else, DRACULA, your Blood, will be DRAINING!
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a SPIRIT, BENIGN,
Who saw a poor MONSTER, MALIGNED;
So, leaving his POST,
He offered this TOAST;
"Don't give, up, THE GHOST, OF FRANKENSTEIN!"
tynhrt ~~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
{As Told TO MOI, By THE GHOST, OF NYQUIL... ;)}
ededed ~~~ :o ~~ ededed ~ :o ~ ededed ~~ :o ~~~ ededed
THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER went MAD,
"THE DOK" switched his black duds, to PLAID!
"Small wonder, I FROWN,
Now, I look, like, a CLOWN...
Which, to Me, proves My Creator a CAD!"
ededed ~~~ :o ~~ ededed ~ :o ~ ededed ~~ :o ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ ;D ~~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ ;D ~~~ :angel:
Before FEBRUARY is THROUGH,
50K READS, Thanks, to YOU;
Then, Onward, we GO,
'Tho', some, may BLOW;
'Tho' Funky & Chunky, still, NEW!
:angel: ~~~ ;D ~~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ ;D ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 49970 times)
STRANGE, how these Trade-Winds do BLOW,
Through the GLENN, only, THIRTY, to GO;
We're doing FINE,
A Real FRANKENSTEIN;
All I need is that BRAIN... Where'd IT GO?!
ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 50003 times)
I must say, that, I'm, truly, IMPRESSED,
So early, to have achieved Our QUEST;
Two + weeks, in ADVANCE,
May MEEK & UNCULA DANCE;
EVERNOW, In THE REALM, Of THE BLESSED!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
WEREWOLVES must, now, run, in PACKS,
LON CHANEY, Junior, left, his lone TRACKS;
Now, a WOLF-MAN, or, TWO,
Ain't, such, a "BIG TO-DOO";
Except, in that Movie, "WOLF", by JACK!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was an author called Stoker,
Who liked nothing better than a game of poker,
So one day he organized a friendly game,
Featuring a few ghouls but that was lame,
So instead he lived dangerous and invited a smoker.
Congratulations Baron you have held this thread together for all its interest., long may you reign at the top of the limerick food chain..
WELCOME, BACK... & FRONT, BROTHER MAURICE!!
:angel: ~~~ :o ~~ ;D ~ :-* ~ ;D ~~ :o ~~~ :angel:
I knew, were I, to Exercise FORTITUDE,
You, too, would write something, DUDE;
You've "STOKERED" the FIRE,
So, LIMERICKS burn, HIGHER;
Don't SMOKE, in the Choir, that's RUDE!
:angel: ~~~ :o ~~ ;D ~ :-* ~ ;D ~~ :o ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The card game turned out to be gin rummy,
Dracula was there as well as the mummy,
While dealing the cards,
They found someone's innards,
As it turned out it had to be from someones tummy.
Thank you for the welcome Tim, with this thread it's either sink or swim.
:'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'(
They began, as Clones, of THE BEATLES,
Their initial work was, really, quite, FETAL;
Now, along, with Their BONES,
We have the Late DAVY JONES;
So, LOVE DIVINE, Open, wide, HEAVEN'S PORTALS!
:'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
My AFRICAN Travels, PERPLEX,
Encounters, with Human REJECTS;
That Cannibalistic BUM,
Who ate his own MUM;
Suffered, from an "EDIBLE-COMPLEX"!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Amazing, how these LIMERICKS THRIVE,
Whilst we await March 17th, to ARRIVE;
BORIS and BELA, we MENTION,
Their Passings, HEART-WRENCHIN';
We Give THANKS, for THEIR FILMS, which SURVIVE!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;) ~~ :D ~~ ;D ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ;D ~~ :D ~~ ;)
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 50225 times)
775, more, Reads, in, just, 14 DAYS; Zombie In Luv
As Laughter Bleeds, across this PAGE; Zombie LOL
We'll E.A. POE-TAL, Zombie Mad
A GRAND, New, TOTAL; Zombie Censored
51K, of Pun-Insights; Flavour: SAGE! Zombie Grin
;) ~~ :D ~~ ;D ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ;D ~~ :D ~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
With THE MONSTER, BORIS was pleased, as SUCH,
DRACULA'S "mixed blessing", for BELA; not, so, MUCH;
THE WOLF MAN, LON'S "BABY",
His Joy? YES! {Not, MAYBE};
Moi? 34 Years, a HORROR HOST! So, "Hey! Keep, in TOUCH!"
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::)
QUASIMODO, 'tis said, was a SWINGER,
His last attempt proved a REAL ZINGER;
As the Bell met his HEAD,
THE CORONER SAID;
"His Fame, now, achieved: 'A DEAD RINGER'!"
::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::)
Of Course, HIS GHOST Said: "BOOO-O-O-O-O-O-O-o-o-o-o!!!"
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 50345 times)
MARCH 7th, Now; just 10 days, REMAIN,
Striving, for 51K; I'm going INSANE;
We need READS; 655,
To SHOUT: "IT"S ALIVE!"
Or, I'm Locked, away, with a SCRAMBLED BRAIN!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA HAS RISEN, FROM THE GRAVE,
With more, GOLD, His Legend, to PAVE;
VAMPIRES, never, get OLD,
Sans Heart-Beat, they're COLD;
Yet, HOT, as Their Adoring Public doth RAVE!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Blush~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie In Luv ~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Blush
Writing Limericks is a most heinous CRIME,
Compounding Half-Wit Meters, in RHYME;
But, I'm tellin' ya, SON,
If you throw, in a PUN;
You'll bathe yer Readers, in GREEN SLIME!
Zombie Blush~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie In Luv ~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~ :D ~ :-* ~ :D ~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;D
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 50455 times)
ONLY, 545 READS, TO GO, BY MARCH 17TH!
THANK, YOU, ONE, AND, ALL!!!
My WEREWOLF Woods, so Dark & DEEP,
On the Mountain, is my CASTLE-KEEP;
Moi LIMERICK CARD,
A JOKER, MARRED;
No Full Deck, here... "READ'EM & WEEP!"
;D ~~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~ :D ~ :-* ~ :D ~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
We've only the Baron to blame
for perpetuaing this grimsome game
but let us remember
our late great Meek member
and declare her the St. Patty's Dame
I agree Meek we did all adore,
So making her a Dame is no chore,
I remember she had a love of Poe,
As well as all things literature that go,
Quoth the Raven Nevermore.
On March 17th Leprechaun's will be found
Over the rainbow and upon the ground
On me Lucky Charms they're good
But not in space or in the hood
The sequels just weren't very sound
When St. Patrick's Day comes around
I've the most festive house in my town
A big leprechaun
Is staked to my lawn
And shamrocks hung up all around :)
:angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~ ::) ~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel:
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 50591 times)
I am, so, happy, that, you've come, AROUND,
As ST. PADDY'S DAY Green paints this TOWN;
Troupers charp13 & CreepysFan,
With IVAN & MAURICE: "You da MAN!"
Adding lustre, to Our Limerick Thread's RENOUN!
:angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~ ::) ~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
(http://i39.tinypic.com/n6x3y8.jpg)
For my friends Maurice and the Baron
I showed my affection for Erin
I really tried hard
To be a good bard
But I've no more rhymes to be sharin' :) Thanks for putting up with me!
Seems Leprechaun's like wearing green
Some are nice while others are mean
When they're in my cereal bowl
My universe becomes whole
Right there with my liquid coffee bean
Never say hush hush sweet Charlotte,
Instead spread the Limerick's about a lot,
For it is better to spew,
Than hold back a few,
Unless you want to be the Mad woman of Chaillot
Our good friend Creepysfan ,
Has now tried his grisly hand,
On writing about the Leprechaun,
So he is at home with all this corn,
Quite happy in the fact all is grand.
There is a monkey named Scatter
And I gather from all of his chatter
That the Dark Shadows screen
Soon black, brown, and green
With Depp buried under poo splatter
As the UMA is here to be seen,
Almost daily we have been,
But it is our love of monsters,
Which brings us together as funsters,
If its a pun or a joke so long as it leaves us green.
A lassie from Cork came to town
Wearing her lowest cut gown.
When she reached for a drink
Bending over the sink
Her charms they just tumbled on down.
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/Girl-Showing-Some-Cleavage-004.jpg)
8)
A lass from a farm near Blyleven
Needed a lad by eleven.
She wore a short skirt
The better to flirt
Cause betwixt her long legs there was heaven!
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/023715475.jpg)
;)
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie Cool ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym
ERIK, THE PHANTOM, went BLIND,
Said He: "Hey, I, really, don't MIND;
When I'd look, in a MIRROR,
I would, just, Sneer & JEER;
Then, usually, say, something, UNKIND!"
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie Cool ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
How can we ever compete,
With Hepcats photo feat,
While I have to admit and say aye,
They sure are pleasing on the eye,
It still came as a very nice Irish treat.
On this Saint Patrick's Day
A dedication, if I may
To Brother BARON TIM
Coz if it weren't for him
This thread might just pass away!
I'm glad it hasn't.
What did you DO, Hepcat?
Why did you have to post THAT?
Though you're a great guy
My blood pressure's sky-high
But it's still worth a tip o 'my hat
Unknown Primate writ:
____________________
On this Saint Patrick's Day
A dedication, if I may
To Brother BARON TIM
Coz if it weren't for him
This thread might just pass away!
-------------------
I'm glad it hasn't.
_________________________
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
Honoured, am I; Pleased, as PUNCH,
On Thy Delicious Limericks, to MUNCH;
U.P., I must SAY,
I do Love your WAY;
O' Brotherhood, expressed; Let's do LUNCH!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
A SHAMROCK, in Hundreds, We, still, NEED,
Like, MR. SPOCK, Green Blood, to SUCCEED;
A wee, bit, more, Limerick LEAVEN,
For MEEK & UNCULA, In HEAVEN;
51,000 +, 'twill be our ST. PADDY'S DAY CREED!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
This no Leprechaun to employ
Nor be any fancy boy toy
To honor a lost soul I do seek
Our lost but heavenly Meek
Who gave us oh so much joy
I am delighted to see the Baron pleased as punch,
Because he developed a very large hunch,
Carrying the weight of this Limerick thread,
So I'll wish him a happy St Patrick's day instead,
And to all my fellow UMA members what a great bunch.
Happy St Patrick's day to my friends at the UMA.
Drac's film had this actress Madeline
With good looks that were simply divine.
A vampire's kiss
For the bountiful miss
And none would the flick then malign!
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/AMadelineSmith-1.jpg)
;)
The rhymes they were written
With the bug I'd been bitten.
Twould seem though the others
My verse writing brothers
With my pictures were smitten.
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/019838133.jpg)
;)
Who says that the cat does annoy
With hot visions that he does employ
Though the verses are nice
Yon pictures add spice
We relish them out of pure joy
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 50780 times)
:angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :-*~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
With a mere 2-Hundred & Twenty, to GO,
We mix ST. PADDY, with Olde E.A. POE;
Sacred and PROFANE,
HAMLET, What a Great DANE;
Heck, let's throw, in, CURLEY, LARRY & MOE!
:angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :-*~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I was invited to a party oh what to bring,
As I arrived it was in full swing,
The host asked me for my gift,
Why this large block of ice to lift,
Just let me defrost the damned Thing.
A lithesome young lassie named Wray
Was fearful her monkey they'd slay.
When he climbed up the tower
With Fay his fair flower
All she could do then was pray.
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/AFay.jpg)
;)
A dead musician named Phibes
Gave off some terrible vibes
Out for revenge
His wife to avenge
Till he took all of their lives
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
MEEK and UNCULA'S SPIRITS, live, ON,
More, in our Brain's-Wit, than, BRAWN;
ST. PADDY'S DAY, TOO;
THIS PLACE IS A ZOO!
Most Especially, FROM DUSK, 'TIL DAWN!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
{UMA: Keep, Up, Your Good, Prolific Limerick Work!!!}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Rohmer gave us Fu Manchu
Blatty the evil Pazuzu
Burroughs the ape man
Whose name was Tarzan
Best of all was Lovecraft's Cthulhu.
My latest effort:
There was a young tart from Uranus
A vixen just totally shameless.
Her wild peccadilloes
And strawberry dildoes
Would leave her well sated and famous.
I actually took the trouble to vet this limerick for errors with the defrocked English prof living at the mission down the street. His services cost me nothing but this bottle:
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/Avanillaextract.jpg)
Here's what he had to say:
"The metre you've nailed.
The beat it is true.
Your verse will be hailed.
As bayous are blue."
In fact, he was so impressed with my poetry writing skills he was willing to critique as much of my poetry as I wanted. All I had to do was periodically replenish his stock of vanilla extract. Poetry criticism is evidently thirsty work.
;)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
THE WEREWOLF, OF LONDON, fought, HARD,
To cultivate A Flower, his Curse, to RETARD;
Due, to the evil DR. YOGAMI,
DR. GLENDON went BALMY;
Then, reduced his Enemy, to ORIGAMI... in SHARDS!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Tom Tyler haunted us in the Mummy's hand,
Scaring us with this Universal film was grand,
While Egypt held its many secrets,
And the hero was still without his regrets,
The Mummy trod forth into the burning sand.
I changed the wording of my Madeline limerick a little to make it flow better. Here's the improved version:
Drac's film had this actress Madeline
With looks that were simply divine.
A vampire's kiss
For the bountiful miss
And none did the flick then malign!
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/AMade-Copy.jpg)
8)
There once was a nasty old fox,
Who wanted to steal all the lox.
That silly old fagel
Molested a bagel.
So now he has gone to the stocks.
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 50942 times)
Just Fifty-Eight Reads REMAIN,
As we fly, into 51K's TERRAIN;
We'll open the DOOR,
To a Thousand, MORE;
With a Million, more, LAUGHS, to GAIN!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
A wee lad named Bill has said
Thinking up rhymes is hurting my head
But for the UMA gang
I'll grin bearing a fang
And keep adding onto this thread
Among the felt tables the spy could be found
His manner was cool and his strategy sound.
Then in through the door flounced the lady O'Toole.
The bounce in her walk had James rise from his stool
So taken was he with such Plenty around!
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/lana_wood_as_plenty_o_toole_in_the_james_bond_film_diamonds_are_forever_1971_0Lh2n91_sized.jpg)
8)
:o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o
Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 51028 times)
51K-plus; Thanks, to our heart-warming BOND,
These Ladies, so luvly, with them, I'd ABSCOND;
It won't be a BORE,
If, you'd show, us, MORE;
You can, kindly, leave, out, dear NORMA DESMOND!
:o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Sweet girl who's quite like a cat
Loves a man dressed like a bat
And when Joker comes round
Harley's joy can be found
Mr. J keeps her smiling no doubt about that
A big monster lives under my bed
I believe that it needs to be fed
It's not a maybe
To feed it the baby
Perhaps no one will miss uncle Ted
I recently went to see the new Raven,
Cusack is great as Poe misbehavin,
Even being ejected from the bar room,
He still comes across as a rose in bloom,
Helping to solve the murders whist still ravin.
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
I saw a Strange, New, MOVIE, with KHARIS,
Starring that CAT, that hawks Cat-Food, MORRIS;
Another HOLLYWOOD TRICK,
Of Genres, that, get MIXED;
Both, ended, up, EATEN, by TYRANNOSAURUS!
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I think I remember the set-up
for Bast and the Brontohotep
I did not mind the hero plumber
or the wacky musical number
but when I saw Edward Cullen, I wept
:) ~~ ;) ~~ :D ~~ ;D ~ >:( ~ :( ~ :o ~ :o ~ :( ~ >:( ~ ;D ~~ :D ~~ ;) ~~ :)
In ancient Egypt, dwelt a Cat-goddess, named BAST,
Who, although, highly revered, was horribly MIS-CAST;
Despite, all, of her TRYIN',
She was replaced, by a LION;
Not, so much, "demoted", as, simply, OUT-CLASSED.
:) ~~ ;) ~~ :D ~~ ;D ~ >:( ~ :( ~ :o ~ :o ~ :( ~ >:( ~ ;D ~~ :D ~~ ;) ~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
DR. FRANKENSTEIN'S CREATURE was GRIM, >:(
When the Villagers shouted: "KILL HIM!" :o
'Tho', He ran, for His LIFE, :(
He took, time, to find a WIFE; :-*
One, Hot, MONSTER... Full, of Vigour & VIM! ;)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
With the howling winds blowing up a mighty gale,
I just discovered that Bram Stokers house is up for sale,
Oh what it would be like to sit of a night,
Listening to the groans and creaks without a fright,
I would now be the Lord of the manor within the very Pale.
P.S The Pale is the boundary set beyond Dublin's walls,hence the term"Going beyond the Pale". History lesson 101.
Uncle Creepy brought me such chills
Cousin Eerie gave me such thrills
Each filled with monsters galore
Always leaving me craving yet more
Vampirella thrilled me up to the gills
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
With Brother MAURICE, I must AGREE,
Verily, 'twas, quite, a SHOCK, to SEE;
Nay, TV weren't no JOKER;
In Re: Ye Home, o' STOKER;
A loss, to our MONSTER FANG-MILY TREE!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LON CHANEY, SENIOR!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :o ~~ :-* ~~ :o ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
April, the First, hath rolled, 'round, AGAIN,
As we count Fools, amongst our FRIENDS;
Yet, a FOOLE, o' Great RENOWN,
Played, both, MONSTERS & CLOWNS;
To LON CHANEY, SR., our Grateful "AMEN"!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :o ~~ :-* ~~ :o ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'(
Over FOOLS, they chose QUASIMODO, as POPE,
His new duds included, Crown, Septre & COPE;
Yet, he, from the very START,
To ESMERALDA, lost, his HEART;
Which broke, when her Neck met THE ROPE.
:'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE MUMMY received, back, his KA,
By the Supreme Will, of AMUN-RA;
Freed, to release vile GAS,
From his SARCOPHAGUS;
4000 years, since, he defiled the LAW!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Dracula awoke one night with a hunger pang,
Oh my belly is making sounds like it sang,
Igor wake up and get me someone to drink,
Before this feeling brings me to the brink,
reaching out he bit into the girl and broke his left fang.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
When The VAMPIRE KING lost his left FANG,
He destroyed the room, like, an ORANGUTAN;
His fury created a sad BLIGHT,
An accident cost him his RIGHT;
Thus, Fang-less, he mourned: "Oh, DANG!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
GODZILLA, with Weight, MEGA-TON,
Still, knew, how, to have FUN;
Just, for a JOKE, YO;
He'd Squash dear ol' TOKYO;
With a casual WALK; not, a RUN!
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Grin ~ Zombie Razz ~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Cool
So many THINGS, from OUTER SPACE,
Given HALF A CHANCE, Eat Your FACE;
DINOSAURS will, TOO,
Unless, you cover, with POO;
But, to stay, ALIVE; Hey, NO DISGRACE!
Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Grin ~ Zombie Razz ~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The explorer traveled far and wide,
To discover a creature outside,
As it was Easter he enjoyed a cream egg,
Although his friend decided to put his leg,
By replacing it with a touch of cyanide.
Happy Easter to all my friend's at the UMA.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
Strange ANIMALS provide a few FEARS,
I.E.: CROC-TOPUS, or, 3-Headed DEERS;
You may think, it, FUNNY;
Trauma, of The Easter BUNNY;
A Sigh, of Relief, when I bite, off, It's *EARS*!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
{*Chocolate Bunnies, Of Course; No REAL EASTER BUNNIES
were Sacrificed, in the Production, of THIS LIMERICK!* ;) }
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
"LIMERICKS", They say, "ROT THE BRAIN!"
You must write THEM, AGAIN & AGAIN;
The SUBJECT don't MATTER,
Served, HOT, on a PLATTER;
Keep EATING, 'til, You go INSANE!
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
YGOR unearthed Dr. Frankenstein's CREATURE,
He recognized him, by his prominent FEATURES;
"His heart, with hate, is FULL,
Yet, it's his mind, I'll CONTROL!
"I'll be, more, than his Friend, I'll be his TEACHER!"
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o
DER GOLEM was one, big Chunk, of CLAY,
Brought, to Life, one, fine, DAY;
A Servant, to USE,
'Til he had, to LOSE;
Remove His Life-Seal, &, POOF! Life went, AWAY!
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
HOORAY! For FRIDAY, The THIRTEENTH,
A Legend, if, you know, what, I MEANTH;
Have no Fear, APOPLECTIC,
Nor, Forlorn Thought, DYSLEXIC;
Lest, you wish, all: "HAPPY 3RDS-DAY FRIGHTEENTH!"
:o ~~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
'Tis the UMA Weekend, at MONSTERPALOOSA,
Had I the money, that'sa where I'd CHOOSAH;
I remain, calm, UNVEXED,
A.D. 2012, no; maybe, NEXT;
To quaff, with my Mates, a Flagon, o' BOOZAH!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8)
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 51877 times)
52,000 Reads is arriving, quite, SOON,
I'm certain, we'll be, there, ere, JUNE;
SPRING is, rather, HOT,
So, APRIL will see, a LOT;
3 days, remain, 'til our next FULL MOON!
8) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I too regret that I had to miss
Monsterpaloozah; no intentional dis!
But I will, I attest
be at Fright Night Fear Fest,
to experience monsterkid bliss!
The three amigos have returned to this thread,
Tv 1Van and the illustrious Baron we all dread,
For where on Earth could it be said,
That a meeting of rotten humour is wed,
Among this gang of the living undead.
Good to see you again, TV Horror
Knowing you's truly an honor
I've been staying quite busy
just like Hatchet Lizzie,
or the entire party of Donner
:angel: ~~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~ :o ~ ;) ~ :o ~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~~ :angel:
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 51977 times)
Writing these LIMERICKS are, quite, EASY;
The PROOF? We are, now, on PAGE 1-2-3!
3, too: 1VAN, TV & MOI {aka: "US"},
We're Gnarly, Hairy, and, FULL, O' PUS!
With, much, to Create, We'll be BUSY BEES!
:angel: ~~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~ :o ~ ;) ~ :o ~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Aw shucks the Baron says we're full o' pus,
But me and 1van blush at the fuss,
For we only do what we are told,
Writing Limerick's until we fold,
It is the Baron who is fabulous.
Full of pus; what am I, a zit?
Were I offended I just might up and quit!
But since I don't wear a mask
and I am rather grotesqe
I'm just glad he didn't say I'm full of shhhhhaving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 52019 times)
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
Full, of S-H-H-h-h-aving Cream, you SAY?!
Like, a Funny Mask, that's, on DISPLAY?
In the Spirit, of FUN,
Put, down, your GUN;
Unless, you're firing, a Salute, to THE UMA!
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
While these two have an amount of facial fur,
Why should they worry about shaving cream or care,
Is it because they hide who they really are,
Or is it something like an great big ugly scar,
No I think that it is because they hate their furry faces bare,
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 52,049 times)
:'( :-* IN HONOUR, OF THE LIFE, OF LEVON HELM :-* :'(
--------------------------------------------------------------------
To Another Great SOUL, leaving This REALM,
THE BAND'S Xclnt Singer/Drummer: LEVON HELM;
Take Your Earthly SONG,
To WHERE You BELONG;
In HEAVEN'S CHOIR, BE OVERWHELMED!
:'( ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~ :angel: ~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
I'm sorry I can no longer linger
As there is something on my finger
I can tell by the smell
That all is not well
I guess that it come from being a dead ringer
And now Dick Clark's been taken, I fear;
Too many losses felt for the year.
But I'll try not to grieve
And on each New year's Eve
I'll think of him well, and with cheer
The iconic Barnabas is with us no more,
He has gone to that resting place without gore,
Although he has left us a great deal to view,
We can take comfort that he was one of the few,
Jonathan Frid will always be the vampire we all adore.
Jonathan Frid has passed, from this life,
on Friday, April 13th, AD 2012, in Ontario, Canada.
He was 87 years, of age.
May His Immortal Soul Know DIVINE PEACE, EVERNOW!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
We turn, now, to JONATHAN FRID,
We've loved him, since, we were KIDS;
'Tho', BARNABAS COLLINS,
Had, of Yore, FALLEN,
He'll, ever, reside, a Creature, of our ID!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
It is no pun to say Jonathan's fall
casts a dark shadow over us all
But his greatest performance
will forever warm us
His Barnabas; ever nonpareil
One hundred years ago today Dracula's author died,
His life was interesting with Wilde and Irving he tried,
He always thought that he was not in their league,
Yet he created an iconic character without fatigue,
An undead legend whose story will always intensify.
R.I.P Bram Stoker
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
"I've been BITTEN", She cried, "by a Man, in BLACK!"
"He appeared, through the window's merest CRACK!"
"My BLOOD, He's INFLAMED!"
"When I asked Him, His NAME;
"His reply", as I sighed, "in My Fame, I'm called, DRAC!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
If I seem like I've just seen a ghost,
it's because I bantered with three horror hosts
Uncle Fright was quite funny,
and Penny Dreadful gets my money,
but I meshed with Garou the most!
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/467349_3449272744188_1041805702_3211824_452843775_o.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/477149_3449257343803_1041805702_3211786_666324493_o.jpg)
Hey who's the handsome guy in the Louisville shirt,
If it turns out to be our very own 1van I'll hit the dirt,
Who does he think he is hob nobbing with the Dreadful crew,
He looks like an old Hollywood star who has had a few,
Please forgive me 1Van I'm only giving you a roast you big flirt.
That's me; I'm a regular Louie-ville Slugger
In addition to those three, I met a Ghostbuster!
But a few years ago, I'm declarin'
I met Angus Scrimm, and the Baron!
At the Fright Night Fear Fest in Louisville, Brother!
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/416380_3449330745638_1041805702_3211889_208888227_o.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/230561_1036352622693_1041805702_126943_8210_n.jpg)
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
I met 1VAN, in my Human FORM,
He watched me turn, into my NORM;
We had GREAT FUN,
Sans, SILVER & GUN;
School was In-Session & we shared a DORM!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
I may sound, like, THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE,
'Cos, writing LIMERICKS is, really, quite, SILLY;
CLASSIC MONSTERS are FUN;
UNCLE FORRY gave us PUNS;
Why, even, COUNT DRACULA met a KID, named BILLY
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Dracula's been around the block, so I understand
He's met Buffy, Bonny & Clyde, and even Superman
Though he never shows a bruise
he always seems to lose
but I suspect its all ruse, just part of the plan.
Never mind the ape called Kong,
It was the natives who rang the gong,
It sure as heck was not for his dinner,
More like come here we've found a sinner,
Quick eat her up so that you'll be big and strong.
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
Would someone, please, call the COPS,
I've just been gored, by a TRICERATOPS;
I'd, rather, DEFECT,
To the Camp, of T-REX;
Who's "Bang A Gong" reached the Top, of the POPS!
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
When dealing with monsters that big, here's the thing
Size is what matters, and there's only one King!
The dinosaurs pale
next to Godzilla's tail
What; you thought I meant Elvis? He just sings!
The Creature did dwell in the blackest lagoon.
He silently lurked 'neath the light of the moon.
Happy he was when they brought him a mate
But lo and behold on the night of their date
The lady took ill and fell into a swoon!
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/blacklagoon.jpg)
hmjfym
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
THE UMA represents MONSTER FANDOM,
Glints, of Genius, appear, in LIMERICKS, RANDOM;
With Concepts, so, DEFT,
And, of HUMOUR, BEREFT;
You'd assess this HORROR HOST: WEIRD, but, DUMB!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The PYRAMIDS were built, using THE CUBIT,
Their Occupants, never, swung, from THE GIBBET;
'Tho' MUMMIES are BAD,
They're a LIMITED FAD;
They've NO POCKETS, so, They can't carry TWO-BITS!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Come in Mister Renfield may I take your hat,
As for your coat and case mind that bat,
I've been trying for years to catch that thing,
By the way leave some of the happiness you bring,
Now have some wine I'm sure that it will leave you flat.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
I begin writing LIMERICKS, oft, quite, PERPLEXED,
With the Germ, of a Thought, then: "What, NEXT?!"
So, I, bravely, trudge, ON,
To Honour BORIS, BELA & LON;
Then, as the Final Line resolves, I am UN-VEXED!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
To honour WALPURGIS-NACHT, this ODE,
Those Witches turned me, into a TOAD;
The night was, very, FOGGY;
So, I might be a FROGGY;
A Hermit, named, KERMIT; Whatta LOAD!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
WEREWOLVES, BEWARE! MAY, The 5th's SUPER-MOON,
We'll be SUPER, too, if we march, to its TUNE;
More Hair, Bigger FANGS,
Our Victims say: "DANG!"
As long, as we avoid attacks, by a Pure SILVER SPOON!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad
ERIK went MAD, so, "THEY SAY",
When They put HIS FACE, on DISPLAY;
They didn't pay Him, a DIME,
So, He turned, to CRIME;
Masquerading, as "The AFTER", of DORIAN GRAY!
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
While his portrait may have been of Gray,
His decadence was what was heavily at play,
Partying nightly from dusk until dawn,
He enjoyed the wild life free as a fawn,
That was until murder brought him tragedy.
Erik really was misunderstood
Not that he really was good
His goals of enforcing opera perfection
were met by the patronage with rejection
so he punished them as only he could
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
From SAINT PADDY'S DAY, up, until, NOW,
Your LIMERICKS have made, me, say:"WOW!";
Keep, up, the MOMENTUM,
Write, here, to CEMENT 'EM;
Bask, in their Humour, &, ... OH, TAKE A BOW!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
My limerick prose comes in waves
Such wild talent often misbehaves
I might crank out a line
and come up with a rhyme
but then it stops.
Oh you puny talented Limerick writers,
Spare a thought for us carriage riders,
We belong in a begone age,
Not like werewolves from a cage,
Our goal to be refined Limerick providers.
I saw the movie CABIN IN THE WOODS
If you were unsure about seeing it yourself; well, you should
The zombie incursion
may seem a diversion
but halfway through, this film delivers the good!
Topic: WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 53012 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;)
With Readership, now, at 53 THOUSAND & TWELVE,
I think, we could be considered: "LIMERICK ELVES";
Night & day, INDUSTRIOUS,
With attempts, BOISTEROUS;
"The LORD helps Those, Who, helps Them's ELVES!"
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
THE SON OF DRAC was reared, on this LULLABY:
"You vill come, back, after you DIE!"
"Your VICTIMS vill, indeed, GAPE,
vhen they see your black CAPE;
then, FLIP, OUT, vhen You become a BAT... &, FLY!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
There once was a fair hero named Thor
God of thunder and lightning galore
Evil Loki his brother
But not from his mother
Thor tossed Loki onto the floor
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
THE WOLF-MAN MET FRANKENSTEIN,
From the O.R. Table, where he lay, SUPINE;
Their BATTLE ROYALE didst FALTER,
In the Castle's rising FLOOD-WATER;
So, much, for "THE SONG, OF NEW WINE"!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
No village could have been scarier
than the European town of Visaria
though the folksong was charming
it became quite alarming
when Frankenstein's Monster met Larry there.
This is the tale of man named Stark
A genius billionaire who made his mark
Suit of iron he did don
Looking a modern day khan
Philanthropist playboy what a lark
Since the AVENGERS have made up the bulk
of 'Flower'y rhymes; here's the Hulk.
With those muscles and so mean
still, it's not easy being green
so he turns back to Bruce, in a sulk.
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
You'll declare, me, a "Silly, Olde, BLOKE",
Deduced, by the words, which I've SPOKE;
Whilst One LAUGH, per DAY,
'Tain't considered "GREAT PAY";
It beats the Heck, out, of being FLAT BROKE!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
C:) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~~ C:)
SHERLOCK HOLMES worked, with SCOTLAND YARD,
With "an Ace, up, his sleeve", as his Usual CARD;
His insights, deduced, quite, BRILLIANT,
Brought, down, Criminals, MILITANT;
Still, a Great Reputation, largely, UNMARRED.
C:) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~~ C:)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
The UMA is a place where the love doth pour,
Meeting members online without the gore,
Classic horror and sci-fi are our thing,
With us discussing it full fling,
So now it is time to be shown to the door.
In honour of my forth anniversary on the UMA
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
'STruth! MAURICE is, now, a 4-YEAR VETERAN,
A wee bit dif'rent, than an EDDIE VETTER FAN;
Our UMA Bona-Fide Irish PIXIE,
Who wished, he was, in DIXIE;
Carried, Our Way, by STOKER'S MONSTER-MAN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Four-years running? the (tv) horror of it all!
Since Maurice answered the UMA's call
he's drowned us with prose
that he picked (from his nose)
for us to enjoy with guffaws
There once was a man named Maurice
Who's been here for quite a piece
Four years he did post
Far better than most
His words should only increase
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There was, once, a Great Actor, named BELA,
Who, by nuance, could, really, IMPELL YA';
'Tho', it made us WINCE,
He had us CONVINCED;
He'd find BLOOD, using His Sense, of SMELLAH!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:angel: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :angel:
We've arrived, now, at Page One-Twenty-SIX,
We stand, TULL, and, are THICK AS A BRICK;
Thousands, of LIMERICKS, TO GO,
'Til, STOOGIN': "There Ain't No MOE!"
Or, Quarentined, this Thread is Listed, as SICK!
:angel: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Many thanks for the welcoming replies,
For I am still loaded with fun supplies,
Yes I know all your little secrets,
At times I am tempted to secrete,
But not to worry I still have a taste for flies.
Thank you my friends for bearing with me, long may the Limerick tread reign.
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
In VASARIA, appeared a BEET BUSINESS, POSH,
Of TWO Different Businesses, 'twas an ODD CROSS;
A DOG and MUG, quite, FINE,
Touted, as, a: "FRANK'N'STEIN";
Then, ye Locals would watch The BORSHT KAR-WASH!!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :o
With Walpurgis-Nacht month, nearly, DONE,
I thought, I'd "take a STAB", at some FUN;
Blend: The Fish Disease, "ICH",
With YGOR'S NECK-KRICK;
And, you get a Deadly Disease... THE PUN!
:o ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Willie Loomis started life as a two bit thief,
His reward was the bite of a vampires teeth,
Looking for treasure was his game,
But his fate was sealed none the same,
When Barnabas made him shake like a leaf.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
We Hail The VAMPIRE, called BARNABUS COLLINS,
Who, 'neath an Evil WITCH'S Spell, hath FALLEN;
Things turned, out, '70's GROOVY,
Producing a CAMPY MONSTER MOVIE;
Again, Mssr. DEPP and CREW, Most, ENTHRALLIN'!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
H46j7 ~~~~ H46j7 ~~~ H46j7 ~~~ H46j7 ~~~~ H46j7
They're reported, to be, deliberately, CRUEL,
This strange MONSTER ILK, called, THE GHOUL;
Their habits, PERVERSE,
Goes, from bad, to WORSE;
Cannibalizing Dead Bodies, for their FUEL.
H46j7 ~~~~ H46j7 ~~~ H46j7 ~~~ H46j7 ~~~~ H46j7
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE ZOMBIE ate EWELL GIBBONS' GUTS,
Then, said: "Man, that guy's, in a RUT!"
"The flavor's, quite, BLAND,
But, he lived, off the LAND...
Reminds me, of the taste, of Wild Hickory NUTS!"
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
On Mother's Day, I wrote this for my Mom.
There once was a woman named Betty
Who made really good spaghetti
But how on earth
Did she give birth
To a son who looks like a yeti?
Here is a salute to UP and Betty,
She is glorious and rich like Paul Getty,
Standing proud for having a great son,
While he might need a shave or two just for fun,
No one can deny that for puns he is always ready.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
A MURDER MYSTERY Troupe, who are FRIENDS,
Are tapping my Talents, which, as usual, PORTENDS;
A Great Deal, of Dramatic FIRE,
Yoicks! My Part: an vile VAMPIRE;
So, Tally-Ho! ... And, lo, I am TYPE-CAST, AGAIN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
The Baron has decided to do a murder flit,
Here's hoping he can make it a dramatic hit,
I think that he has given us a clue,
By telling the forum his characters due,
for we all know the vampire dood it.
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o
JEKYLL/HYDE were a Psycho Quilt-Work PATCH,
This Dual Duo, to each other, Vainly, ATTACHED;
Their "Secret", UNRAVELLED,
Where'er "They" TRAVELLED;
You could tell, by the way, Their Luggage MATCHED!
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Ray Bradbury's stories were always fine,
Now with his passing with Ackerman he will dine,
With his rented typewriter he did tap,
Tall tales from his mind sprang the trap,
Leaving us wanting more of his Dandelion wine.
Ray Bradbury you will be missed, parting is such sweet sorrow.
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
UNCLES FORRY and RAY... What a PAIR,
To our Genre, a Breath, of FRESH AIR;
No longer, Earth's FOILS,
Shuffled, off, their Mortal COILS;
MAY THEIR EVERNOW, BE, BEYOND COMPARE!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 53875 times)
One Hundred & Twenty-Five READS, left, to GO,
Until we reach, MUA-HA-HAH-HA... YOU KNOW;
At a MONSTER-OUS LUMBER,
We'll attain the Next NUMBER;
54 THOUSAND ... So, "ON, WITH THE SHOW!!!"
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
The Baron loves to push his brand,
Composing these rhymes that land,
It is not pleasant to hear,
The eyes watering up to tear,
his mission to see view 54 thousand.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 53901 times)
SUNG, TO THE TUNE: "99 BOTTLES OF BEER"
Ninety-Nine Reads, to go, to GO;
Less, than a Hundred, you KNOW;
Quite, nearly, THERE,
We'll call, it, SQUARE;
With Our TV HORROR, in TOW!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
I'm going to act all lazy,
For my mind is a bit hazy,
So if this sounds like fun,
Then you are in for a run,
Because today I'm half crazy.
??? ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ???
As "The Cream, O' The Crop", {HALF & HALF},
Maurice's logic, oddly, ressembles NEW MATH;
His Double-Sided NATURE,
A Grin-&-Tonic, +, CHASER;
Rises, OILY, in the Mourning, during His BATH.
??? ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 53,999 times)
This constitutes the FINAL READING,
As 53,000 is done, with Its BLEEDING;
Within FIFTY-FOUR,
Lies a Thousand New DOORS;
To Explore & Deplore & Keep BREEDING!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Sir Henry was in a bit of a foul mood,
He shouted at the servants to get more wood,
I want that fire nice and bright,
Then begone from my blooming sight,
The reason, young Larry is wolfing down his food.
Well done Baron you have captured 54,000 more lost souls.
With the landmarks I cannot keep up;
I'm an old salty sea dog, not some young pup
TV Horror and the Baron
Have reached new heights for the scarin'
With limericks so terrifying I better shut up!
Dracula awoke one night well fed,
He had a grin for Renfield who fled,
It was the other creatures of the night,
Who caused interest with their panicked sudden flight,
As they ran he heard one say he's just soiled his bed.
8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~ :o ~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8)
With Moi Comrades, down, in this HOLE,
Where LIMERICKS turn Man, into MOLE;
We're digging, quite, DEEP,
{Even, sank The UMA JEEP!}
We turn, from WERE-WOLF, into WERE-BULL!
8) ~~~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~ :o ~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
The victim ran to the nearest phonebooth,
She had heard heavy breathing on the roof,
All she could see was a man flapping his arm,
Puffing and panting he needed to do harm,
Finally the vampire admitted he was to long in the tooth.
Zombie LOL ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ :laugh: ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ Zombie LOL
I'm going, to SLAY, THE JABBERWOCK!
He devoured My TOUPEE AND SOCKS!
GRRR! Upon My WORD,
With My VORPAL SWORD;
I'll give, to that BEAST, some Nasty KNOCKS!
Zombie LOL ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ :laugh: ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
The man had just been missed by the bears paws,
So he ran even faster to get away from its claws,
He came to a cliff top which stopped his flight,
Where could he go now with his heart full of fright,
So he jumped into the Sea straight into the mouth of Jaws.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
Poor Chap's future was, DEAD, IN THE WATER,
Yet, how, it made that SHARK'S Mouth, WATER;
His Sad Life, quite, Un-BEAR-able,
His last choice, so, SNARE-ABLE;
The Shame? He wasn't The Famed HARRY POTTER!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~ :P ~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~ :blank: ~~ ::) ~~ :-[ ~~ :P ~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPYR hatched a Plot, so, DRAC-TICAL,
A Maneuver, for FREE BLOOD, so TACTICAL;
To ROB a BLOOD BANK,
Disguised, as TOM HANKS;
In Theory, Wise; in Practice, IMPRACTICAL!
thrhrt ~~ :P ~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~ :blank: ~~ ::) ~~ :-[ ~~ :P ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA celebrated FATHER'S DAY;
SON & DAUGHTER made Their WAY,
To His Carpathian LAIR;
That Un-Dead Sibling PAIR,
Gave DAD an Electric Chair & Exploding TOUPEE!
thrhrt~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
The Monster of Frankenstein wanted a way
to wish the Doctor a happy Father's Day,
so he made bouquet of daisies
and headed for the hospital with all the crazies,
but the angry villagers all chased him away
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
That Nobleman, DRACULA, could be, quite, REGAL,
Opting, to become, instead, of WEREWOLF, a BEAGLE;
To Him, I do doff my HAT,
For, rather, than a BAT,
He transformed, into JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SEAGULL!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
Those evil MARTIANS were arriving, in DROVES,
Secretly, hiding, in new Micro-Wave STOVES;
'Twould be "Brain, over BRAWN",
'Til "Someone" turned them, ON;
Then, SANTA smiled, as, "Up, the Chimney, HE ROSE"!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Another great actor has gone to soon,
And his villains always had a high noon,
Richard lynch was his name,
And villainy was his game,
For no one else could play our evil goon.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
I know a Vampire Princess, named, SHIRLEY,
Who, famished, for Blood, becomes SURLY;
She picked, up, her Prey's SCENT,
Who, found, out, what she MEANT;
Her attack was, in fact, Pell-Mell & HURLY-BURLY!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
There was a strange stirring in the nearby wood,
Who ever it was was up to no good,
It was a person with asthma called jasper,
Who without his inhaler was a bit of a Gasper,
We all know what he buried the victim Edwin Drood.
:o ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~ ;) ~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ... :-*
Effortlessly weaving Verbal FILIGREE,
This Blessed Curse, inside, of ME;
Say what you will, you SEE,
This Laugh's Pun-Bath is, on ME;
Resulting, in a most Unusual PEDIGREE!
:o ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~ ;) ~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ... :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA skulked, 'round His CASTLE,
Since RENFIELD made a really BIG HASSLE;
"I guess, that, I'll SURVIVE,
But, he's corrupted My WIVES;
They've joined THE WWE, to WRASSLE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
I, once, knew a ZOMBIE, from EQUADOR,
A Master, of The Flying NON-SEQUITUR;
He was, "DEAD, On The MONEY",
{His BRAIN was, quite, RUNNY!}
He was a ZOMBIE!!...DUHH! SHUT THE DOOR!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ??? ~~ ??? ~~ ??? ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
I, once, knew a MAD MATADOR,
Where He hailed, from, I'm UNSURE;
He wore a MINK STOLE,
Whilst killing the BULL;
As He sang THE 1812 OVERTURE!
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ??? ~~ ??? ~~ ??? ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 54,500 times)
HALF-WAY, TO FIFTY-FIVE THOUSAND,
Honoured, you won't hear me GROUSIN';
Yeah, all, we NEED,
Is 500, more, READS;
Just one, more, Cause, for CAROUSIN'!!!
:angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
In honour of Ray Harryhausen's 92nd birthday.
There once was a man who loved to sculpt,
In his spare time his creatures did gulp,
With a lifetime of cinematic fame to his belt,
He has gave us such wonderment that's heart felt,
Even to the point of using an armature to construct.
Harryhausen's gorgon thought it was unfair,
That she was cursed with snakes in her hair,
Oh woe is me not to be engaged,
Why was I cursed while Zeus was enraged,
after all I only turn them to stone in my lair.
;D ~~~~ ??? ~~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~ :-[ ~~~ ??? ~~~~ ;D
HAMMER FILMS could be deemed, EPISODIC,
With certain Themes, downright, EROTIC;
What redeems THEM,
As Crème de la Crème:
Is their MUSICAL SCORES ... quite, MELODIC!
;D ~~~~ ??? ~~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~ :-[ ~~~ ??? ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:angel: ~~ :-X ~~ :P ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~ 8) ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~ :angel:
IRISH LIMERICKS, per Head, read 54,554 TIMES,
Our current Page Number, is ONE-TWENTY-NINE;
I'm, most, HAPPY, to CROON,
On this LAST DAY, o' JUNE;
Our Bumper-Crop merits THE SONG OF NEW WHINE!
:angel: ~~ :-X ~~ :P ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~ 8) ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA Starred, in a PLAY, COERCED,
By His BRIDES & RENFIELD, ACCURSED;
'Twas, not, High ART,
He "WINGED, HIS PART";
It closed, as It opened, UNREHEARSED!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
This Limerick conveys, exactly, my THOUGHT,
No good came, from THE SCROLL, OF TOTH;
IM-HOTEP got ZAPPED,
{He had HELEN TRAPPED};
Yet, what A WONDER, Olde ISIS, still, WROUGHT!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Mad
Dear DR. JEKYLL became MR. HYDE,
Who decided, LIFE, was his Wild RIDE;
His Murderous FOLLY,
By Gosh & by GOLLY;
His downfall was Inordinate PRIDE!
Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
A SAFE AND BLESSED INDEPENDENCE DAY, TO ALL MY UMA FANG-MILY!
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :-* ~~~ >:( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
GOOD SUBJECTS, Enslaved, by Their MAD KING,
Used & Abused, for the TAXES, They'd BRING;
'Tis an Olde, Olde, STORY,
{Not, Starring PETER LORRE!}
WAR Cost THEM, Dearly, yet, It Let FREEDOM, RING!
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :-* ~~~ >:( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
The baron is as so right,
Tea drinking was their blight,
To enforce their taxes,
With their moustache waxes,
While sitting overseas out of sight.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 54,800 times)
200 Reads, to Go!
A Grateful Nod, to Our Irish Brother, MAURICE, a.k.a., TV HORROR!
In 1897, The VAMPIRE FIRE was FANNED,
STOKER published His DRACULA Novel, as PLANNED;
VLAD, THE IMPALER, STRUCK,
Ever, Since, Faire EIRE is STUCK;
With the Claim, to UN-DEAD Fame: VAMP-IRELAND!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
MARY SHELLEY wrote, about a MAN,
Who developed a MONSTER-OUS PLAN;
To create a NEW RACE,
With a Near-Human FACE;
WHO, unfortunately, had, to be BANNED.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Winnie the witch wanted a potion,
When mixed into a fine lotion,
Could make her life more cushy,
Even with her broom she was pushy,
But it went wrong and ended her up a cushion.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie Shocked ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Television's "vast wasteland" is BLOOMIN',
With Species, that, are, mostly, SUB-HUMAN;
VAMPIRES & Such, ABOUND,
As, if, more, than HUMAN, PROFOUND;
Van HELSING, in his Tomb, must be FUMIN'!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie Shocked ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, from PARIS,
Who sang Songs, of the Late RICHARD HARRIS;
One night, to be CHUMMY,
He dressed, up, like, a MUMMY;
The Crowd, wowed, yelled: "Great Singing, KHARIS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Into town came a vampire above the law,
But no one could deny he fast of the draw,
So a solution had to be found,
Before this vampire did bound,
So he was shot by a holy bullet to the craw.
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
We know: FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER Fears FIRE,
That, is known, as: "PREACHING, TO THE CHOIR";
The Choir ran, out, of LUCK,
Its newest Member SUCKED;
Not, at SINGING, but, from BEING A VAMPIRE!!!
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
THE WITCH stirred her Cauldron, quite, FAST,
To make ONE, of, BOTH, FUTURE and PAST;
"Now, I'm, really, DIZZY,
So, I'd, better, get BUSY;
In this PERPETUAL NOW, I'll OUTLAST!"
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 54954 times)
FORWARD and BACKWARDS, The SAME,
So, This LIMERICK might seem, quite, LAME;
Five-Four-Nine-Five-FOUR,
With Lots, More, In STORE;
So, I'm, sure, that, I'll Reap, a Heap, More, BLAME!
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
When I spoke, to DRAC, He said: "YO!"
"There's, less, than 25 Reads, left, to GO!"
"1 Thousand, times 55;
I haf dat many WIVES...
And, They're, as Cold, as a Carpathian SNOW!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 55,012 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ye BARON issueth: "A Most Hearty THANKS!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zombie LOL ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ :laugh: ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ Zombie LOL
THE MUMMY shipped, out, of EGYPT,
Whilst Aboard, He stumbled & TRIPPED;
Here-to-fore, tightly, WOUND,
His Bandage loosed & fell, DOWN;
"Quite, Breezy, once, Stripped!" He QUIPPED!
Zombie LOL ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ :laugh: ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Mad
THE ZOMBIE finished, off, his sweet REPAST,
A SAILOR, that, he found, tied, to the MAST;
His "Dinner", "born", to "life", UNDEAD,
Absent, a MAJOR Part, of his HEAD;
Filled, with a HUNGER, to remember his PAST.
Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D
Of so few Things, in Life, I'm, totally, CERTAIN,
I.E.: APES, in Drapes, or, SCARLETT, in CURTAINS;
Yet, I must CONFESS,
I feel, quite, BLESSED;
Watching LEE and DEPP, Directed, by TIM BURTON.
;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~ :'( ~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
There, once, was a WIZARD, from KENT,
Of a, decidedly, Moste MAGICKAL BENT;
Yet, one SPELL, UNKIND,
Literally, "Blew His MIND!"
On his Head, hangs a Sign: "SPACE, FOR RENT."
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~ :'( ~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
THE FOOD NETWORK made a HALLOWEEN CLASSIC,
A MONSTER PICKLE, dubbed, "THE FRANKEN-VLASIC";
When COUNT DRACULA SUPPED,
He could, not, get, ENOUGH;
Of that "BLOODY-GOOD!" Recipe, for TOMATO ASPIC!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :o ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
To Transform, from Man, into Wolf, is a TRAUMA,
Fraught, with an Excess, of VISCERAL DRAMA;
If anyone says, that, It AIN'T,
Then, They must be a SAINT;
On a Par, with His Serenity, The DALAI LAMA!
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :o ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
Reply #1947, was issued, upon:
July 25th, 2012; 6:12, in the EVEN',
I writ, o' Werewolf curse, as bein' PLEBIAN;
The year, o' Moi BIRTH,
I shall, now, UNEARTH;
As Reply 1948: Year, o' the RAT, Chinese/KOREAN!
::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-[ ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ :-[ ~~ :-* ~~ :-[ ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :-[
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 55255 times)
Read 55255 times, our LIMERICK THREAD,
Again, forward & back, with few RETEADS;
Some fat, some LEAN,
Most, fall, IN-BETWEEN;
Proof, Positive, that, We're, out, of Our HEADS!
:-[ ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ :-[ ~~ :-* ~~ :-[ ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~ :angel: ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
Stuck, all, alone, in this LIMERICK HUT,
I may, seem, like, some kind, of NUT;
Still, it's Cool & NIFTY,
As I claim 1950;
I dog KING TUT, like, a MUTT, in a RUT!
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~ :angel: ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
You're not all alone ; I still come by to read it
But instead of adding limericks, I turn tail and beat it
It's no lack of trying
Mt creativiy's just dying
I need to rekindle that spark, and find a way to feed it
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Novel Approach, Your LIMERICK; I RE-SEED IT,
Creativity, You GIVE, just, when We NEED IT;
Of TRYING, No LACK,
So, like, Our DR. ACK;
FORRY, like, You and Me, would, often, just, BLEED IT!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
1van is so right you are not alone,
I have been busy with no time for my own,
Take heart baron your talents not wasted,
We all support your endeavors that's pasted,
So keep posting those delightful limericks that sown.
BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on: July 26, 2012, 4:39
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 55255 times)
BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on: July 30, 2012, 8:11
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 55355 times)
:-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-*
Between July 26th & July 30th, 100 READS!
"Jolly Good, Y'all!" I, happily, CONCEDE.
A, mere, 4-Day SPAN,
Reveals our Wicked PLAN;
TV, 1VAN, &, I, Our Limerick Brains, IN-BREED!
:-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Razz
The Month, of JULY, we've, just, SHED,
Like, the Rotted SKIN, of THE UNDEAD;
August's New ANATOMY,
Food, fit, for a ZOMBIE;
Or, a WEREWOLF, BUTT: OCTOBER ain't FUR BEHIND!
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombies and werewolves? Why must thou alarm me?
Most would be cowering, yet you come off smarmy
To remit the undead
fills sane persons with dread.
Yet instead, you speak like a Sarge, in the Universal Monster Army!
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :) ~~~ C:) ~~~ :) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o
Between Reason & Madness, quite, oft, I BARGE,
A Causal Casualty, charged, with LIVING LARGE;
Aye - a LOONEY, I've BIN,
Dogged, by RIN-TIN-TIN;
But, to those, who know me, I'm, just, "SARGE"!
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :) ~~~ C:) ~~~ :) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S COFFIN, for Travel, was PINE,
He was quoted, once, that: "It suits me, just, FINE."
"I, always, smell, GOOD,
Like, Transylvanian WOOD;
Then, BLOOD flows, like, 'THE SONG OF NEW WINE'!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 55499 times)
We move, along, at a Furious PACE,
Towards 1 Million Reads, we RACE;
Number 55,555 coming, SOON,
I swear, 'ere the next FULL MOON;
A Limerick Were-Idiot, By GOD'S GRACE!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :angel:
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 55555 times)
Stuffing Ye Olde Ballot Box is Dishonest FUN,
At least, with LIMERICKS, I can make a PUN;
Could've been ANYONE,
But, I gav'em a real RUN;
On the Money, again, Happy, to say, I've WON!
:angel: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~ :D ~~ ;) ~ :o ~ ;) ~~ :D ~~~ ;D
Reply Nineteen-Sixty-ONE,
Well, I'll be a "Son, of a GUN!";
39 Limericks, to GO,
'Til 2000 shall SHOW;
On we plow, don't Step, in the PUNS!
;D ~~~ :D ~~ ;) ~ :o ~ ;) ~~ :D ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:) ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~~ :)
MR. EDWARD HYDE came, out, to PLAY,
His Game, most, FOUL, then, GET, AWAY;
His Evidence, CORRUPT,
Which fouled, him, UP;
He learned, in Death, CRIME DOES, NOT, PAY!
:) ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
Another Twilight's Eve, when The Upper CRUST,
Of Transylvania, arise, from their Coffined DUST,
The Stuff, of Legend, BOLD,
Reeks, of Veins, gone COLD;
UNDEAD Kith & Kin seek BLOOD, because they MUST!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
VAMPIRES, on Wing, take, to the SKIES,
Whilst imperiled, their sad Victims DIE;
Going, from VLAD, to WORST,
Read 55,900 times, ACCURSED;
With a, mere, 100, to go; HOW TIME FLIES!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 55,999 times)
::)~~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~ :P ~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
A THRESH-HOLD crossed, once, AGAIN,
A Tempest, in a Tea-Pot, quite, INSANE;
This Limerick, not, quite, MEATY,
More, akin, to: "I eat my WHEATIES";
One, more, PUN, which goes, Against The GRAIN!
::)~~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~ :P ~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
AuthorTopic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 55999 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
Iconic, the Face, of KARLOFF'S FRANKENSTEIN,
He & Mickey Mouse, have stood the Test, of TIME;
CREATURES, of a By-Gone ERA,
1, of Laughter; 1, of FEAR, AHHH!
Both, have FANS, who think, Them, Most, SUBLIME!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
THE WEREWOLF ran, amok, 'neath the MOON,
He felt, sure, that, the Ladies would SWOON;
For, He was Hairy & HUNKY;
Some labelled him, a MONKEY;
Or, mayhap, SASQUATCH, disguised, as PAT BOONE!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Grin ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Grin
The Tenements were seedy, and, DRAB,
The ZOMBIES waited, for Victims, to GRAB;
Without need, of RETAINER,
'Twas a simple NO-BRAINER;
Those "Stiff-Upper-Lip" BRITS were, quite, FAB!
Zombie Grin ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
Swooping, downward, with Lighning SPEED,
To satiate His unholy, frenzied, NEED;
DRACULA, in His form, as BAT,
Merely, hit His victim's HAT;
"After 3 drunkards' BLOOD, no need, for GREED!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
THE MUMMY shuffled, out, from His Violated TOMB,
For 37 Centuries, it had served, as His WOMB;
His miserable Re-Birth was, not, ADVERSE,
Merely, the Fulfillment, of His Ancient CURSE;
Seeking His BRIDE, so, He could be THE GROOM!
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
chain_saw ~~ chain_saw ~~ chain_saw ~~ chain_saw
Since THE HORSEMAN was missing His HEAD,
He was Clueless, that, He was {Sort, of} DEAD;
His AIM was, still, TRUE,
Which, MANY, would RUE;
As His REVENGE spilt, a Bloody River, of RED!
chain_saw ~~ chain_saw ~~ chain_saw ~~ chain_saw
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt
THE MUMMY Creeps, slowly, ALONG,
FRANKENSTEIN comes, on, really, STRONG;
THE VAMPIRE, in FLIGHT,
Is, such, a Pretty SIGHT;
That, it's Rhapsodized, in Story, and, SONG.
tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Razz
Those ZOMBIES threw a, really, great, PARTY,
The Flavours ranged, from Arteries, to ARTZY;
To "PUT, ON THE RITZ",
Made IT One Mindless BLITZ;
Their REAL MOTIVE was, just, to EAT HEARTY!
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ :'( ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
QUASIMODO and ERIK would CRY,
Yes! Willing, for True Love, to DIE;
Not, so, the OTHERS,
If They had their DRUTHERS;
They'd kill Their Beloveds; no Question, WHY!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ :'( ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a Ghost Operatic,
Whose nightmares, though somewhat sporadic,
Would oft' feature him,
And a werewolf named Slim,
Getting smacked in face with a haddock!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
The Eyes, of DRAC'S Bride, are LUMINOUS,
Then, She turns, into a Mist, VOLUMINOUS;
A Stake, though Her HEART,
Proves a Rough Road, to START,
For, It's, as Black & as Hard, as Coal, BITUMINOUS!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
DER GOLEM was offered one WISH,
He said: "I wish I had a KNISH;
They're, really, quuite, YUMMY,
And, My Dad was a MUMMY;
But, I'd settle, for a nice GEFILTE FISH!
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie No Smile ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie No Smile ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Confused
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, from KENT,
'E didn't know, wot bein' a "ZOMBIE", MEANT;
So 'e 'ired a TRAINER,
Duh... a NO-BRAINER;
'E et 'im... then, put 'is 'ouse, up, FOR RENT!
Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie No Smile ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie No Smile ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~~ :( ~~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o
Vast numbers, of DINOSAURS, were SWARMING,
Which beleagured Humans found, most, ALARMING;
You could end, up, as DINNER,
If you risked being a SWIMMER;
SEA MONSTERS awoke, thanks, to GLOBAL WARMING!
:o ~~~~~ :( ~~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA was erudite, with Noble Appearance, POLISHED,
Until His unholy thirst, for BLOOD, arose: "AHH, DELISH!"
He, certainly, wasn't a FOOL,
Knew, how, to keep His COOL;
Yet, ALONE, with His PREY, He, Demonically, DEMOLISHED!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
demolish delish
8) ~~~ 8) ~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~ 8) ~~~ 8) ~~ 8) ~~~ 8)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 56850 times)
hmjfym ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Censored ~ Zombie Confused ~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Mad ::) Zombie Roll Eyes
With, just, a Hundred-Fifty, TO GO,
I'd say it, but, you, already, KNOW;
Fifty-Seven THOUSAND,
A Great Cause, for CAROUSIN';
"Man, you should've seen the Kids kick EDGAR ALLAN POE!"
hmjfym ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Censored ~ Zombie Confused ~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Mad ::) Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
A man was bitten, by a LYCANTHROPE,
While showering, swallowed his LYE-CAN-SOAP;
He tried, to run, away,"DOWN SOUTH",
They saw him, foaming, at the MOUTH;
Too, much, I expect, for this NEWBIE, to COPE.
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Baron's limerick's are so swell,
It makes me feel privileged as well,
To share an odd rhyme or two,
Before the mornings dew,
From an absent friend herein we dwell.
P.S
Still busy but hang in there Tim you are not alone.
:-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~ hmjfym ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie In Luv
LON CHANEY, Sr., Starred, in THE UNHOLY THREE,
Alter-Egos, here, are IVAN, TV and L'il, Olde, ME;
Approaching LIMERICK # 2K,
We must say: "HOORAY!";
Only, 998,000, MORE, 'til We'll say: "LET IT BE!"*
{*MAYHAP ;) !}
:-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~ hmjfym ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie In Luv ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
ALL-HALLOW'S E'EN approacheth, AGAIN,
We sing THE CLASSIC MONSTER REFRAIN;
'Tis, rather, a MANTRA,
That Echoes, to HAUNT YA;
Giving US, All, a Glowing MONSTER-KID BRAIN!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie In Luv ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Renfield told Dracula about his ghastly pallor,
Master you are going to have to travel further,
It's not easy being a vampire known by his fangs,
So finding victims will just increase my hunger pangs,
Get my best dress tuxedo that will work I'll bet my bottom dollar.
Count Chocula is really just fine
While Frankenberry is simply devine
But Booberry I can't abide
Though several times I've tried
Come Halloween, again they'll be mine
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE appeared, from His Un-Holy MIST,
Its Victim had an Orange, attached, to Her WRIST;
THE UN-DEAD issued one, final, SCREAM,
&, hence, Eroded, into ASHES & STEAM;
THANK HEAVENS, that, Her ORANGE was "SUN-KIST"!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 56950 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
BAT-ting Two-fer-Two, too, All, in one DAY,
Nowhere, near, I s'pose, 50 Shades, of GRAY;
Segue: To where I mention: DORIAN,
As well, as, BELA, BORIS, FORRY, &,
Any, of Our MONSTER Clan: The PIPER, We, ALL, PAY!
thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
With October's holiday quickly approaching
I've noticed store shelves have Halloween swag encroaching
I shop for monster merchendise all year
but they cater to folks who just want seasonal fear
I feel like this should be for me, but others keep poaching
I once saw three zombies
Who had no hobbies
So I told them to eat some flesh
They looked at me
They smiled with glee
And chased me to Bangladesh
A right clever poem, some might call it sweet
Thank you for sharing this iambic treat
With the season beginning
More ghouls will be grinning
and they're already calling for more of your meat!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
With curious expression, he stared, up the STAIRS,
At COUNT DRACULA'S charming Continental AIRS;
By Candle-light, DIM,
RENFIELD met HIM;
A sip, of Wine, lead, to the Blood-Bond, they SHARE.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE MUMMY practiced his Spells, ARCANE,
He knew, that, he could rot peoples' BRAINS;
Alone, without trace, of FEAR,
He downed that last BEER;
But, was stopped, in his tracks, by the TRAIN!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
THE ZOMBIES, quietly, planned their REVOLT,
The MASTER, DWIGHT, considered them, DOLTS;
They had, not, eaten DINNER,
Which made, them, the WINNER;
The MASTER was "DWIGHT FRIES", at 10,000 VOLTS!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF lurched, toward The GIRL,
Who, was bedecked, in Diamonds & PEARLS;
Her SILVER HAT-PIN,
Was, WHAT, "DID HIM, IN";
In Death, he reverted, to, just, plain, old, MERLE.
:blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
His Coffin was beat, up, and, MARRED,
"Too much Travel!" Sighed COUNT ALUCARD;
"I miss 'The Olde DAYS',
When WEREWOLVES BAYED;
On the Go, now, my Life is, so, HARD!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :) ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
A HORROR HOST, from Olde CIN-CIN-NAT-TAY,
Drove, ALL, of His FANS, quite, BAT-TAY;
He, THE COOL GHOUL,
Was Nobody's FOOL;
A LUVABLE MUG, Who's, In HEAVEN, TODAY.
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :) ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~ :-* ~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-*
LIMERICKS, just, say: "I LOVE YOU!"
They're PROOF, of How, HUMOUR, RENEWS;
With Daft METER and RHYME,
PUNS, Last, for, ALL, TIME;
Makes You Smile, If, You're "FEELIN' BLUE"!
:-* ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~ :-* ~~ :-* ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
LIMERICK NUMBER TWO-THOUSAND is MINE,
We're, HERE, NOW, and, I Call, IT, "FINE!";
Celebrate Our 1st-Rate THREAD,
With THE UMA UN-DEAD;
I'm High, on The SPIRIT, but... "I, never, Drink WINE."
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
My MADNESS began, with Reply # Nineteen-Ninety-Three,
Please, turn, back, One Page, the Better, TO SEE;
Whilst, hardly, a PUN,
For # 2-THOUSAND & 1,
A UMA LIMERICK, This OFFERING, Still, SHALL BE!
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Why the baron does not look his age,
That's why he is boasting on engage,
Two thousand posts he has laid his fine claim,
So us mere mortals come across as lame,
Congratulations Tim on reaching this page.
There once was a rat
Who was old and too fat
So he stopped eating cheese
And then died from disease
The moral of this limerick is...we are all going to die, so enjoy your cheese.
There once was a monster named Fred
Who ate anything that was dead
Fred found an old Mummy
Who looked really yummy
And said "I think I'll eat you on some bread"
Zombie Grin ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Grin
THE GHOULIES were busy, last NIGHT,
Giving Their neighbours, quite, a FRIGHT;
I caught THE GHOSTIES,
Eating POST TOASTIES;
THE LONG-LEGGED BEASTIES said: "THAT'S RIGHT!"
Zombie Grin ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA had a Strange PREMONITION,
That VanHELSING had brought AMMUNITION;
Wooden Stakes and a CROSS,
Could make him "THE BOSS";
So, DRAC packed it, in, and, "WENT FISHIN'!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
While thinking of gefilte fish
Not a very exciting dish
I'll eat without reason
For this is the season
That carries a joyful wish
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
An ENGLISH Lass, an EX-STRUMPET,
Played Virtuoso, on the TRUMPET,
Her wild BUGLE-CALL,
Would ALERT, Each & ALL;
That, 'twas Time, to enjoy TEA & CRUMPETS.
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
Their knees were weak & shaking, like, JELLO,
Shouting: "No, more, Please!", These FELLOWS;
With Shape-Shifting NEIGHBOURS,
WHO are FAVOURITES, of OURS;
I.E.: When FRANKENSTEIN Met ABBOTT & COSTELLO!
ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:laugh: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :laugh:
Autumn is, now, early, churning the AIR,
'Tis cool and rainy, yet, gently, REPAIRS;
As Fall doth PROGRESS,
We count, ourselves, BLEST;
As, on HALLOWEEN, we claim our Fair SHARE!
:laugh: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
That is a fine limerick indeed good sir Baron Timotheus BGG!
......some call me Tim........
Dear vintagehalloweentoys,
Thanks, everso, for the kind expression, of your appreciation, at my humble efforts.
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
Moi, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ :angel:
For my UMA Brethren, I make some NOISE,
Finding Kindred Souls is, one, of Life's JOYS;
CLASSIC MONSTER LIMERICKS,
Forms a Legacy, that, STICKS;
This Pun is, one, done, for VINTAGEHALLOWEENTOYS!
:angel: ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Thank you matey Baron Timotheus BGG! Yarrrrrgggh! It be Talk Like a Pirate Day!
There once was a pirate from Nantucket
With a wooden leg so long.................Sorry, Can't do this one here!
Let's see here......
There was an old pirate who lived on a rock
He had but one friend and that was a sock
The pirate named his sock Marry
And Marry looked Scary
And tied his poor sock to his dock
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ::) ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;) ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA invited me, out, to DINNER,
I didn't eat, prior, so, that, I'd look THINNER;
He requested a "BLOODY SHAKE",
Instead, I offered, Him, A STAKE;
He received it, which made, me, "THE WINNER"!
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ::) ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;) ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~ :angel:
I mourn the Loss, of RICHARD SHEFFIELD, my FRIEND,
Whom, I believe, shall, Now, see BELA LUGOSI, AGAIN;
TRUE MONSTER-KID, that, He IS,
He was a Venerable WIZ;
Filled, with Kindness and Insight... a TRUE GENTLEMAN!
:angel: ~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
Oh yes, I, certainly, do Believe, in GHOSTS,
It's interesting, that, you'd start that POST;
When we die, we're, not, DONE,
We, just, Start our Second RUN;
Yet, some hang, around, their 1st Run, to BOAST.
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Baron Timotheous BGG....Great job in answering my post on ghosts with a limerick!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
I went, for a walk, late, last, NIGHT,
To clear my mind, &, get it, RIGHT;
Some young, punk, VAMPIRES,
As BATS, Frequent FLIERS;
Dropped Guano, to give me a FRIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
LIFE IMITATES ART; FIFES IMITATE FARTS
??? ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ??? ~~ ::) ~~ ??? ~~~ ??? ~~~~ ???
When I was a Wee Lad, me Dad, said: "CORK",
Was Our Ancestral County, o' Life and WORK;
In later years, the change, he PICKED,
Was, no longer, "CORK", but, "LIMERICK";
So, I write them, now, & you can call me: "MORK"!
??? ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ??? ~~ ::) ~~ ??? ~~~ ??? ~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I hate to interrupt these most delightful works, but I have been wanting to say (for soooo long)- that I would LOVE to hear Baron Timotheus & Maurice read their fantastical limericks aloud someday!! When the technology arrives, I will be first in line to hear your wonderful voices on this site! Now....back to the rhymes :)
:o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ??? ~~ ::) ~~ ??? ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o
CHARP13, Thy compliment is, moste, KIND,
To listen, to 2 Mad-mens' Ramblings, SUBLIME;
I serve, up, Patter, on a PLATTER,
Of Mind-Over-easy-MATTER;
Yet, if it doesn't, really, matter, I don't MIND.
:o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ??? ~~ ::) ~~ ??? ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 57,973 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
The skies trembled, as the wild Thunderstorm ROLLED,
FRANKENSTEIN, from a Grave, a dead body, CULLED;
He brought, IT, to LIFE,
IT demanded a WIFE;
"What, in Heaven's name, have I done?!" VICTOR MULLED.
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~ ;D ~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt
Again, The HALLOWEEN Season rolls IN,
Time, to Rejoice, in Jack-O-Lantern's GRIN;
I aint no Country BUMPKIN,
I know The GREAT PUMPKIN;
I say:"Hey, Old Buddy, how've You BEEN?!"
tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~ ;D ~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
The HAUNTED HOUSE beckons, to ALL,
Especially, in the Dark Decay, of FALL;
The Autumn winds BOAST,
The House-Guests are GHOSTS;
To join Them, just, Heed Their CALL.
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Happy birthday you ole wolf of the Limerick club,
Why I've known of you since you were a cub,
Why we are the unholy three of the Limerick thread,
Because we were so dubbed by the Baron's undead,
So here's to many more Moons or at least renew your sub.
To my friend 1Van on this special day.
There once lived a lupine Baron,
with a brain as sharp as a Talon.
He spent most days,
in a limerick haze,
but without him this thread would be barren!!!!!
Birthday greetings Baron Tometheus!!
Henry decided to up the electrical power,
So he sent Fritz high into the tower,
When I say throw that big switch,
You had better be quick without a hitch,
Because the last time the monster turned sour.
Quote from: long live kong on October 04, 2012, 11:51:35 AM
There once lived a lupine Baron,
with a brain as sharp as a Talon.
He spent most days,
in a limerick haze,
but without him this thread would be barren!!!!!
Birthday greetings Baron Tometheus!!
Thank you, LONG LIVE KONG; 'Tis, not, until OCTOBER 23rd... "When I'm sixty-four"... on October 24th, My BELOVED BETH & I Celebrate Our 3rd Wedding Anniversary! And, now, back, to our regularly scheduled LIMERICKS!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Grin
I, once, knew a ZOMBIE, named CUTHBERT, Zombie Mad
Who, UN-DEAD, was, not, terribly ALERT; Zombie Confused
He tripped, over a SPADE, Zombie Blush
Landed, back, in his GRAVE; Zombie Shocked
BUT - No Worries! - He didn't get HURT! Zombie Grin
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
A Sad GHOST issued, forth, from the WELL,
Wishing, to escape, from its private HELL;
Whilst looking, for SOLACE,
It said: "I bear, no, MALICE."
That Realization gave it Peace; Now, all, is WELL.
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
YGOR, nearly, went, out, of his MIND,
Delirious, over his most recent "FIND";
Stuck, in the SULPHER;
The size, of a HEIFER;
His old Monster "Friend": FRANKENSTEIN!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 58555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
We've scored an impressive amount, of READS,
58,555 is, prone, to make your eyes BLEED;
Our Limerick work is, never, DONE,
We're Jerks, who like, to make PUNS;
Blood-Lust, to Vampires; A Similar Form, of GREED.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
A Weird Ghost-Whisperer, named TWEEDLEDUM,
Shouted, at The Departed, to break the TEDIUM;
He said: "It makes me, HAPPY!"
But, then, The Spirits got SLAPPY;
They hauled, off, & "HIT THE HAPPY MEDIUM"!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
In HONOUR, Of JOHN LENNON'S 72nd BIRTHDAY
:'( ~~~ :( ~~ :o ~ :-* ~ :o ~~ :( ~~~ :'(
There, once, was a Lad, named JOHN,
His Birthdays have come, and, GONE;
His Life, he did CROON,
He died, much, too, SOON;
He Lives, on, in our Hearts & his SONGS.
:'( ~~~ :( ~~ :o ~ :-* ~ :o ~~ :( ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
When ROUTE 66, in "LIZARD'S LEG & OWLET'S WING",
Didst, Together, The CLASSIC GREAT ONES, BRING;
MONSTER-KIDS, in CHORUS,
Chanted: "PETER, LON & BORIS!";
That Amazing Night, of MONSTER Fright, meant EVERYTHING!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
In their Novels, ERIK & QUASIMODO, DIED,
So, too, did Dr. JEKYLL & his friend, HYDE;
Even, COUNT DRACULA "bit the DUST",
FRANKENSTEIN ? {Mayhap, I TRUST};
Novel Adaptations gave New Life, far & WIDE.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
Beneath the lowering Glower, of October SKIES,
Autumn's Dying, again, seems, quite, WISE;
Scary hillsides, BEDECKED,
With SKELETAL WRECKS;
Green leaves wither & drop, like, Tears, CRIED!
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 59130 times)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ;D ~~~ ??? ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
PRINCE KHARIS was taking a Jogging COURSE,
To catch His victims, faster, without REMORSE;
"I hate, to do it, and, what's WORSE,
It's part & parcel, of My Ancient CURSE;
Instead, of, slowly, shuffling, I should get a HORSE!"
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ;D ~~~ ??? ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was an Odd Spectre, from IPSWICH,
Who loved, to consume a good Veggie SANDWICH;
"I cannot tell a LIE,
I think, I'm POPEYE;
'Cause, I feels real Strong, when I eats me SPINACH!"
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
With HALLOWEEN a mere, two, weeks, AWAY,
I've a Suggestion, to impress, when I SAY:
"Please, don't dress, as GANDHI,
Or, NO, Trick-or-Treat CANDY;
Will be, likely, to be coming your WAY!"
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
Here's, to the 130th Birth-Day, of The Late BELA LUGOSI,
A Classic Monster Actor, we've followed, Him, CLOSELY;
He gave DRACULA, many, LIVES,
&, had, nearly, as, many, WIVES;
His Legend, still, thrives; Greater, than, ALICE GHOSTLEY!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie LOL
There, once, was an Creature, from MARS,
His Elders told him: "Reach, for the STARS!"
He saw a Classic Monster MOVIE,
And said: "That's, really, GROOVY!"
Now, He's "Down, to Earth"... SELLING CARS!
Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :angel: ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
Our HALLOWEEN SPECTRES draw, CLOSE,
Their Yearly Visitation, to, repeatedly, TOAST;
BORIS, BELA, and LON,
'Tho', They've GONE, ON;
Left a Legacy, of which They can, still, proudly, BOAST.
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :angel: ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
u6juu ~ chain_saw ~ Zombie LOL ~ chain_saw ~ u6juu
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named BART,
Who practiced a most delicate ART;
His Brethren sought BRAINS,
BART thought, them, INSANE;
He said: "The Tastiest part, is the HEART!"
u6juu ~ chain_saw ~ Zombie LOL ~ chain_saw ~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
"I'm getting a 'Little Long, in The TOOTH'",
Said THE COUNT. "and, by Vay, of PROOF;
Look, deeply, into my EYE-TEETH,
It vill make you, truly, BELIEVE;
Then, join Me, for a BITE, you Silly GOOF!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
TODAY {Oct. 23rd} is my 64th Birthday! Oh, JOY!
So Much FUN, for This CLASSIC MONSTER BOY;
TOMORROW marks YEAR THREE,
Of Our WEDDING ANNIVERSARY;
Thank YOU, for becoming MRS. HERRON, BETH CROY!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
BARON- This is not a limerick, but an avalanche of BEST WISHES to you- on your birthday! (I'm a little late as usual)
I also would love to wish you and the Mrs.- A HAPPY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.....and many more :) :) :)
You brighten our days with your rhymes,
And I thank you for all the good times :)
You are UMA royalty,
And will always have our loyalty
AND REMEMBER YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR PRIME!! Yay!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SIR!
Quote from: charp13 on October 24, 2012, 09:32:19 PM
BARON- This is not a limerick, but an avalanche of BEST WISHES to you- on your birthday! (I'm a little late as usual)
I also would love to wish you and the Mrs.- A HAPPY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.....and many more :) :) :)
You brighten our days with your rhymes,
And I thank you for all the good times :)
You are UMA royalty,
And will always have our loyalty
AND REMEMBER YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR PRIME!! Yay!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SIR!
CHARP13,
Thy Moste Kindly-Offered Sentiments Resound, Wonderfuly, within Mine HEART and BRAIN!
... I just hope, that, The UN-DEAD CREATURES {where-e'er they roam} Who've, Long-Ago, STOLEN those afore-mentioned ORGANS, get, as, much, of a Kick, out, of Thy Writ, as I have!
Thanks, EVERNOW,
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
The PRAISES sung, by a UMA Trooper, The 13th CHARP,
Shows a moste Insight-full Skill, delivered, moste, SHARP!
With such Heart-felt LEAVEN,
Thou shalt go, to HEAVEN,
And, THERE, EVERNOW, be Issued: Wings, Halo and HARP!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
;D ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;D
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 59959 times)
Read 59,959 TIMES, this Thread's, not, in BED,
But, still, on the CLIMB, &, Running, like, MAD;
Our LIMERICK Brains, FERTILE,
Like, YERTLE, THE TURTLE;
Any Excuse, DR. SEUSS, to make THE UMA GLAD!
;D ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Terribly sorry for missing your birthday!
Here's hoping that it was a jolly fun mirth day!
And followed by the anniversary
of your union with Baroness beth, most lovely,
Your good fortune brightens even the worst day!
BR'ER 1VAN,
Thanks, for your charming Limerick, re: Birthday & Anniversary Wishes! Much Treasured, &, Oft, Enjoyed!
thrhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt
Into The CASTLE Von WOLFSTEIN FOYER,
Stormed Our Resident NAVEL DESTROYER;
The USS 1VAN'S Sure PATH,
Salvoed a Timely BELLY-LAUGH;
Whilst DRACULA confessed: "I am BOYAR!"
thrhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
'Tis, merely, Twenty-Four Hours, AWAY,
Our, most, likely, FAVOURITE HOLIDAY;
Just, as it's, always, BEEN,
We'll Celebrate HALLOWEEN;
Then, Anticipate Next Year's, I DARESAY.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Well said, Herr Baron; you're sounding quite brainy
Sadly in my town it's become rather rainy
It'll stop soon I bet
If not, I'll get wet
When I terrorize Salem as Lon Chaney!
Oh dear my favorite Baron has turned sixty four,
And I also missed his anniversary I am so sore,
So I'd like to add my congratulations to them both,
Because this gentleman continues this threads growth,
Here's hoping for many years of happiness long may he soar.
I wish both you and Beth all the best Tim, how about a photo of the furnace or ahem cake. Also a very special Halloween to all my friends at the UMA.
To 1VAN, MAURICE & CHARP13, +, ALL, OF MY UMA BELOVEDS:
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, A.D. 2012!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
What earns Your Nervous Vote, as a HALLOWEEN FRIGHT,
THE WOLF-MAN'S Tearing Jaws, or, The VAMPIRE'S BITE?
The Strangle-Hold, of FRANKENSTEIN,
That, Terrorizes Your, Poor, MIND;
Or, Considering Them, ALL, Now, Turning, Out, THE LIGHT?!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named FRITZ,
Whose Face contained magnificent ZITS;
If He popped, them, on YOU,
You would Die, and, turn BLUE;
As His Dinner, He'd be "Puttin', On The RITZ"!
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie In Luv ~ Zombie Alien ~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Blush
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named FRITZ,
His Girlfriend was the Famed, ZASU PITTS;
While His LOVE-SLAVE,
She guarded His GRAVE;
Then, hit Him, with Her spade, to Call It QUITS!
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie In Luv ~ Zombie Alien ~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Tis a shame that the zombie, named Fritz,
Had a gal who was prone to such fits!
If he sticks to his course
Then for better AND worse
Perhaps he'll marry a nice Lich!
Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Confused
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named FRITZ,
Who went, on a BRAIN-EATING BLITZ;
Which increased His IQ,
So, He knew, what, to DO;
Took His own BRAIN, &, Chewed, It, to BITS!
Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Grin
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named FRITZ,
Who, as a CHEF, was a bit, of a DITZ;
His Brain-Omelette Soufflé,
Over-cooked, for TWO DAYS;
Was, so, HOT, it required OVEN MITTS.
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named OTTO,
The Blood, of Drunkards, rendered him, BLOTTO;
When, in Olde JAPAN,
He became "SAKI-MAN";
Upon leaving, He slurred tHhe word: "ARIGATO"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad
That ZOMBIE INVASION, led, by FRITZ,
Was Unpredictable, FRITZ was, in a SNIT;
They marched, into the FIGHT,
FRITZ lit a Case, of DYNAMITE;
WAR OVER! He blew His Army, to BITS!
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a werewolf named Kane,
when the zombies invaded, he went insane.
Fritz lit the dynamite's wick
and threw it, but Kane fetched the stick.
Blown to bits, he's only himself to blame.
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie Blush ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Razz
THE ZOMBIES were having, Such, FUN,
Writing Their Daft LIMERICK PUNS;
They were BRAIN-TEASERS,
Whilst Eating, with TWEEZERS;
The BRAINS, that, had been Shot, by GUNS.
Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie Blush ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I once met a zombie coming from my drain,
And the first thought I had caused a pain,
Oh it's so hard to think once you've been bit,
First you do the zombie shuffle until you are hit,
Then as you reel about out comes a bit of your brain.
Another good way is to hit them with a poker,
But the only trouble is it is a blood soaker,
Covering your clothes in bits of goo,
And even worse you find you are out of shampoo,
So avoid the biter and instead find a zombie choker.
Happy 165th birthday to Bram Stoker, your creation has proven to be UN-killable as the immortal Count himself.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~ :o :o :o ~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named PATRICK,
Whose Fame involved a RENEVANT HAT-TRICK;
Judging, by the Hair, Skin & BONES,
He'd drained THE ROLLING STONES;
Their names, as I recall: CHARLIE, KEITH & MICK.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~ :o :o :o ~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 60,926 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I know, of a VAMPIRESS, COUNTESS BETH,
By DRACULA'S Fangs, She gained Her UN-DEATH;
Had She been, just, a tad THINNER,
She might've escaped being DINNER;
HE knew, how, to pick a WINNER, not, a GUEST.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Ghouls and goblins I see dissapear
No Halloween again till next year
Now that October has departed
I feel a little down hearted
At least the UMA still brings me cheer
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 60,992 times)
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ ;D ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ ;D ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o
The WIND HOWLS, now, outside, of My WALLS,
Like, WEREWOLVES, so, I must answer Its CALLS;
Hot Summer hath PASSED,
By AUTUMN, OUT-CLASSED;
Aahhh! HALLOWEEN Memories, of, so, many, FALLS!
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ ;D ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ ;D ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,022 times)
u6juu ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ u6juu
Although, Trapped, in a pen, the Prisoners were PERKY,
Their Jailors came, 'round, oft, & were, secretly, "LURKY";
The AXE was destined, to FALL,
Executed, in that sad CORRAL;
Their Sentence, served, made Dinner, for Us, of... TURKEY!
u6juu ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:( ~~~ u6juu
A HAPPY & BLESSED THANKS-GIVING, TO, ALL, OF OUR UMA TROOPS!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a man with a nose like a pickle.
He was old and strange and oh so fickle.
One day he was approached by the fair maiden Lynn.
Who said to the man "What a nice pickle" with a wink and a grin.
The old man smiled and gave her a tickle.
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Grin
THE ZOMBIE was, Blissed; AHEAD, by a NOSE,
Because, He knew, what Flavour, He CHOSE;
It, sure, looked, like, a SICKLE,
Removed that Old NOSE-PICKLE;
"A CLASSIC VLASIC!", He Munched, Happily, in PROSE.
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,179 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE COVEN entered the Fine RESTAURANT,
Their Menu was scribed, in a BLOODY, RED, FONT;
Per usual, on Their PART,
They ordered "ALA CARTE"
ALL, YOU CARDS, who read "ALUCARD", Knew What You WANT!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,212 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~ C:) ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIES were Starving and MAD,
Finding Humans, for Food, made them GLAD;
Smelling the Foul ZOMBIE ROT,
The Men fired HEAD-SHOTS;
No more, Mad, Hungry, ZOMBIES... Too BAD!
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~ C:) ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,232 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
DR. FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER threw QUOITS,
His Aim, as you, might, guess, most, ADROIT;
KARL'S Cousin got, in the WAY,
"Ooww!" The Price, he didst PAY;
As, in BROOKLYN, Dey say: "DAT REELLY HOITS!"
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,307 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
GENERAL TERRY, once, Hatched, was placed, in a NURSERY, Zombie Shocked
The Medical Mad-Men thought It, BEST, even, CURSORY; cl:)
Altho', He was, only, a TYKE, Zombie Blush
TERRY knew, what, he LIKED; hmjfym
NOW, We MONSTER-KIDS say: "HAPPY 10th UMA ANNIVERSARY!" Zombie In Luv
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,350 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
I found, in my room, an UNATTACHED HAND!
Said, to Myself: "These are, always, in DEMAND;
So, Now, I, Proudly, Carry A SPARE,
To "Lend A Hand", EVERYWHERE;
Howe'er, if, It's soiled, I get a Harsh REPRIMAND!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,382 times)
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~ hmjfym ~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
Last night, I found a SKULL, in my ROOM,
& said: "This, really, belongs, in a TOMB;
THE SKULL began LAFFIN',
& said: "No, just, a COFFIN;
I'm a Left-Over, from a Body, EXHUMED."
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~ hmjfym ~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,404 times)
;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
I found a GIANT TURKEY, to ROAST,
Weighed 5 Million Pounds, at MOST;
I rose, in Moi STATION,
By Feeding The NATION;
Gaining Celebrity, from Coast to COAST!
;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D
HAPPY TURKEY-DAY, UMA!
And, A Moste BLESSED THANKS-GIVING!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Baron, you're so very neat
Your Thanksgiving wishes are sweet
Now, have a great meal or shop for a deal
In the morn, you'll have leftover meat :)
YUM!! SANDWICHES!!! Happy Thanksgiving!
Quote from: charp13 on November 22, 2012, 06:37:54 PM
Baron, you're so very neat
Your Thanksgiving wishes are sweet
Now, have a great meal
Or shop for a deal
In the morn, you'll have leftover meat :)
YUM!! SANDWICHES!!! Happy Thanksgiving!
My Very Dear CHARP 13,
My Thanks-Giving Holiday went scrumptiously!
Thanks, for your finely couched and moste kindly Limerick wishes!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,635 times)
:laugh: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :laugh:
A GIANT REPTILE, with the Power, of AVIATION,
Set His Course, thru the Rain-Storm, sans DEVIATION;
When the LIGHNING STRUCK,
THE MONSTER showed PLUCK;
Unyielding, to show, He was, above, CONSTERNATION.
:laugh: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,765 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Cool
The ZOMBIES formed a Labour UNION,
That guaranteed BRAINS, with ONIONS;
The Flavour was First RATE,
'Til They discovered, too, LATE,
The Combination, gave Them, All, BUNIONS!
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Cool
{Which is, why, ZOMBIES have that Funny Walk!}
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,876 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN & THE WOLF-MAN did BATTLE,
That could, even, be heard, in SEATTLE;
Then, They heard a Loud "BLAM!",
Both, exclaimed: "OH, DAM!"
It is, obviously, still, UNIVERSAL, to TATTLE!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 61,922 times)
;) ~~~~ :D ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;)
MR. SPOCK, on "STUN", set His PHASER,
At the SKY-CLAD LASS; it didn't PHASE HER;
I don't mean, to get TECHNICAL,
SPOCK switched, to ELECTRICAL;
And, gave that STRIP-TEASER, THE TAZER!
;) ~~~~ :D ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ :D ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Captain Kirk liked a woman who was green.
He also dated a tall alien gal who wore high heels and was red and mean.
Then One Day Mr. Spock said "Jim, you're dating practices seem so corny".
Spock also added "Jim, are you really that horny"?
Captain Kirk smiled and said "Spock, I like em all, as long as their good looking and lean"!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,032 times)
Thanks, vintagehalloweentoys, for your Keen Insight,
into The Mysterious Cosmos, of the Mind, of WM. SHATNER.
You "BOLDLY, GO, WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE, BEFORE"...
... But, a LOT, of WOMEN, apparently, HAVE!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
T-REX, in Combat-mode, was, no, DUMMY,
He knew: "An Army travels, on Its TUMMY";
Food, Desiccated and DRIED,
He consumed It, with PRIDE;
Wanted Human Flesh, yet, Et, THE MUMMY!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on December 01, 2012, 06:48:06 AM
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,032 times)
Thanks, vintagehalloweentoys, for your Keen Insight,
into The Mysterious Cosmos, of the Mind, of WM. SHATNER.
You "BOLDLY, GO, WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE, BEFORE"...
... But, a LOT, of WOMEN, apparently, HAVE!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
I thought you would get a kick out of that Mr. Baron Timotheus BGG!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,165 times)
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ ::) ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
At 3,700 Years, THE MUMMY was CONSTIPATED,
Saith He: "Such Longevity is a, mite, OVER-RATED!"
"My 1st Life was, over, too, SOON,
I, now, resemble, a Dried PRUNE;
Kept 'Alive', by My Ill-Fated CURSE, I'm JADED."
:'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~ ::) ~~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,383 times)
::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::)
I, once, worked, with The Infamous INVISIBLE MAN,
'Twas a Charming, Little, "Niche" Business, we RAN;
From Stones, to throw, at GLASS HOUSES,
To Fashion, i.e.: Womens' See-Thru BLOUSES;
In The Emperor's New Clothes, you get a GREAT TAN!
::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o ~~~ 8) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,523 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER faced a CONUNDRUM,
The Villagers' hatred, was something, HE'D RUN, FROM;
YGOR said, of FRANK'S PLIGHT:
"Hey! Those Folks ain't, too, BRIGHT!"
In Other Words: "ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM"!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,557 times)
:o ~~ cl:) ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL
LORD, how I Love this UNIVERSAL MONSTER ARMY,
Wherein, even, THE GENERAL can be, quite, BARMY;
As Relatives, of KING TUT,
I find Proof, We're, all, NUTS;
You, all, belong, in THE FUNNY FARM, w' ME!
:o ~~ cl:) ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,586 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ >:D ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ tynhrt
THE WICKED WITCH stirs Her Cauldron, &, RANTS,
Spewing Dark Spells, She Issues Vile NECROMANCE;
But, Her Evil Magicke, BACK-FIRES,
Becoming Her FUNERAL-PYRE;
Her Kin Say: "She ain't got a GHOST, of a CHANCE!"
tynhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ >:D ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,689 times)
:'( ~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~ :'(
Sometimes, Our LIMERICK PUNS must CEASE,
Else, too, many, Sickening Sweets, at Our FEAST;
Another Mile-Stone hath PASSED,
'Tis, Timely, to Honour It, at LAST;
Sad 32nd Year, of JOHN'S Death: REST, IN PEACE!
:'( ~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~ :'(
I meant, to impart this, on December 8TH.
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,712 times)
:o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o
Our GENERAL, TERRY, encamps, in SNOW,
His Primitive Weapon, a Snow-Ball THROW;
"The Snow is Lovely, Dark and DEEP",
To which, MINNEAPOLIS says: "BLEEP!";
At least, it helps The Yule-Tide Spirit GROW.
:o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,741 times)
THE MUSINGS, OF 12/12/A.D.2012
thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ ededed ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRES, ZOMBIES, &, Other UN-DEAD,
Rule the AIR-WAVES, to fill us, with DREAD;
This Modern World, UNIVERSAL BEGAT,
Enthroned, where CLASSIC MONSTERS SAT;
MONSTER-MANIA continues, but, What Lies AHEAD?!
thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ ededed ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,819 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA appeared, after DARK,
Whilst His Chorus, of Dogs, did BARK;
Their Clacking, of CLAWS,
Meant Canine APPLAUSE;
He took Them, for a Walk, in the PARK.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 62,896 times)
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
A GHOST roamed, through his olde MANSION,
Said he: "Guess, I'm, Dead, out, of FASHION;
"I clank Chains, &, go: 'BOO!',
Everyone, just, says: 'WHO?!'"
"To 'Liven' things, up, I'll start MONSTER MASHIN!'
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named ANASTASIA,
Who plied her Blood-Thirsty Trade, in MALAYSIA;
Brought the folks, to their KNEES,
With her YEN, for CHINESE;
The result? She developed severe HIP DYSPLASIA!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
This one is for the families of Sandy Hook and their unbearable grief. May God shine his face upon them.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight that ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush; Of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die."
Old Irish Prayer
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :'( ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
Tears are the Gift, that Water GOD'S GARDEN,
Sorrow Purifies, when Intense Grief is ARDENT;
In this Transient World, of WOE,
Blackened, by sins, we KNOW;
LOVE'S Sacrifice will Win, Us, All, PARDON.
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :'( ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
That strange VAMPIRE Lass, ANASTASIA,
Found Herself plagued, with AMNESIA;
She said, Drinking BLOOD,
Now, Tasted, like, MUD;
Gets Her "High", from Quaffing ANESTHESIA!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,073 times)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
So, Today's "The Day" our World, supposedly, ENDS,
Add this day, to the long list, of: "Oh, no, not, AGAIN!";
If we survive, past, Twelve, NOON,
Millions shall feel, like, BUFFOONS;
I'm content, to write LIMERICKS, to my UMA FRIENDS.
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,143 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
SANTA CLAUS, swiftly, came, down THE CHIMNEY,
To the Castle room's Portrait, said: "CRIMINETLY!"
"I know, that Naughty FACE,
So, I'm, in the Wrong PLACE;
I won't give DRACULA the Chance, TO BITE ME!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
2 Days, Remain, Until: MERRIE CHRISTMAS!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,180 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~ tynhrt ~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
'Tis CHRISTMAS-TIDE, with Its Usual PICKIN'S,
SANTA, RUDOLPH, FROSTY, ALIVE & KICKIN';
But, the One, I, most, ACCEPT,
For, It touches Moi Very DEPTH;
Is A CHRISTMAS CAROL, by CHARLES DICKENS!
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~ tynhrt ~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
A MERRIE CHRISTMAS, TO MOI UMA FANG-MILY!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,206 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ tynhrt
SCROOGE said: "The SPIRITS did it, all, in one NIGHT!"
DRACULA boasts: "I do my Best Work, with one BITE!"
In this Yule-tide SEASON,
The MONSTERS are FREEZIN';
GENERAL TERRY Shovels a CHRISTMAS, that's WHITE.
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ tynhrt
A MERRIE CHRISTMAS, TO MOI UMA FANG-MILY!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,263 times)
u6juu ~~~~ u6juu ~~~~ u6juu ~~~~ u6juu
He carried a DIRK, JACK, THE RIPPER,
With The Ladies, a JERK, hacked their ZIPPER;
As his Body-Count ROSE,
He was, ahead, by a NOSE,
Not, just, FISHY, NO! Ab-So-Lute-Ly, KIPPER!
u6juu ~~~~ u6juu ~~~~ u6juu ~~~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,291 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE Vile VAMPIRE crept, out, of his COFFIN,
Strangely, resembling CHARLES LAUGHTON;
Sounded, like, FRODO,
Crossed, with QUASIMODO;
Turned WOLF-ISH, just, like, DAVID NAUGHTON.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,336 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed~~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Our latest Read count is, all, Sixes & THREES,
In deep December; why, Bless me! {I SNEEZED};
Our Classic Monster Thread carries, ON,
With this sad, olde, Year, nearly, GONE;
THE MONSTERS Wave, &, seem, Rather, PLEASED!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed~~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,366 times)
::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::)
There was a GIANT CHICKEN, once; NO RUMOUR,
Its NOODLE-NEST resembled a Grisly TUMOUR;
'Ere, He "FLEW THE COOP",
They made Him, into CHICKEN SOUP;
Don't let this News leave You, in FOWL HUMOUR.
::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,415 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ cl:) ~ tynhrt ~ cl:) ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
These 2012 LIMERICK Pages fly, BY,
Tortured UMA Souls, wonder: "WHY?!"
With, all, of My MIGHT,
I say: "No end, in SIGHT!"
I know, that, it BITES, but, don't CRY!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ cl:) ~ tynhrt ~ cl:) ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,433 times)
WE WISH YOU, ALL, A HOLY, HAPPY, HEALTHY, SAFE & PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!
:angel: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :angel:
I am, somewhat, stunned; 'tis, so, Odd, to BELIEVE,
That, We've crested, upon another NEW YEAR'S EVE;
'Tho' 2013, too, might FLY,
'Pon this One Fact, I'll RELY;
UNIVERSAL'S CLASSIC MONSTERS, I Will, Always, RETRIEVE!
:angel: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,467 times)
>:D ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~ :angel: ~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ >:D
My Limerick thoughts, in this New Year, INCREASED,
After all, All, Sixes, means: "THE MARK, OF THE BEAST";
1 # past It, must be The BEAST'S NEIGHBOUR,
Five Sixes = THE BEAST, played, by JIM NABOR;
"GO-O-OL-LLY SARGE!", The UMA is TV-Land APPEASED.
>:D ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~ :angel: ~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,582 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
Moi LIMERICK Out-Put, doth, sadly, lag, BEHIND,
I, sincerely, Apologize, &, Pray, Thou dost, not, MIND;
'Tis, early, in this New YEAR,
Yet, Thou hast, naught, to FEAR,
'Tis, not, Easy, to Find Ye Rhyme, for "FRANKENSTEINED".
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Baron, please! If you rhymed any faster
This forum would reach a disaster
At a mind-boggling pace
your poems hit cyber-space;
You've proven yourself the limerick master!
WARNNG: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,610 times)
BROTHER 1VAN,
My Dear Fellow LYCANTHROPE!
A distinct Joy and Pleasure, to find your charmingly perfect Limerick inscription! Thank you; 'tis Mutual!
I'm speechless... but, Happily, not, WORDLESS {since this is type-written!} So, in Honour, of Your Reply, here's another Limerick salvo, from Moi!
Hope Yyou enjoy.
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ :angel: ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
When discussing THE MASTER, of the 1920's CRAZES,
We're Fans, of the Man, whose hand, held, only, ACES;
With effortless ABANDON,
He'd conjure, up, THE PHANTOM;
GOD, Bless LON CHANEY'S SOUL, for His THOUSAND FACES.
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ :angel: ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,645 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE Clan held a MEETING,
"Dawn approaches, Time is FLEETING;
Well, at Sun-down, next, NIGHT,
Their timing, proved, to be RIGHT;
The Humans became an "All-You-Can-EATING"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,688 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER waited, with Baited BREATH,
For News, regarding His new Mate's DEATH:
"She's gone, much, too SOON,
The Castle, simply, went 'BOOM!';
Not, even, a TOMB, upon which, to lay a WREATH."
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,723 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ >:( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
MR HYDE had a short, yet, Illustrious, CAREER,
Made, quite, a Name, for himself, Far and NEAR;
LEGEND, as Solid, as a GIRDER,
Psychotic Exploits, of MURDER;
DR. J. should've settled, for the Brewing, of BEER.
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ >:( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,765 times)
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
There was, once, a Bad MUMMY, IM-HOTEP,
He carried, out, Evil Plans, with Vigour & PEP;
Unable, to avert, just, 1 CRISIS,
He was Destroyed, by ISIS;
'Tho', now, a Bone-Pile, He, still, has a Great REP!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,798 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
I, once, knew a Woman, so, CARIN',
She taught: The Joy, of Life, Is, for SHARIN';
At Her Grave, I wept TEARS,
Today, marks 1 Hundred YEARS;
Since the Birth, of My MOM, BARBARA HERRON.
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,856 times)
My DAD, RICHARD WALLACE HERRON, B.G.G., was born, on January 14th, A.D. 1914, a year & a day, after MOM'S Birth; He'd have been 99-Yrs. Olde, Today.
He Passed, from this Life, at the age, of 91.
:angel: ~~~~~ C:) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ 8) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ C:) ~~~~~ :angel:
I knew a MAN, once, of Heart, most, CLEAN,
Who fought, in WWII Battles, as a U.S. MARINE;
He taught HISTORY, in SCHOOLS,
Lest, we'd grow, up, to be FOOLS;
My DAD'S GOODNESS & WIT were, Most, KEEN!
:angel: ~~~~~ C:) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ 8) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ C:) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,888 times)
tynhrt ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Confused ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ tynhrt
THE JACK-O'LANTERN smoldered, then, DIED,
Whilst the Olde BLACK CAT, mournfully, CRIED;
THE GRIM REAPER, with DREAD,
Returned The Headless Horseman's HEAD;
Thoughtfully, Preserved, in Fresh FORMALDEHYDE.
tynhrt ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Confused ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 63,956 times)
Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~ Zombie Censored ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Censored ~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Censored
"Oh, the Weather, outside, is FRIGHTFUL",
Olde Man Winter is, just, being SPITEFUL;
Altho', We're bound, to COMPLAIN,
SNOW will come, Again & AGAIN,
After all, in this Freezin' Season, it's RIGHTFUL!
Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~ Zombie Censored ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Censored ~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Censored
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I have really neglected this thread,
Leaving Tim to keep it from the dead,
I will one day try to be back,
If not then he can give me the sack,
From this wonderful talent nuff said.
I shall return!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,009 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Dear MAURICE, My Beloved Irish BROTHER,
You'd post, daily, if I had My DRUTHERS;
You are, ever, My FRIEND,
&, to see You post, AGAIN;
Is a Relief, like, a Visit, from DR. CARRUTHERS.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,047 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a MONSTER, THE BLOB,
Who tried, to learn, THE DANSE MACABRE;
His Dance Partners, He'd EAT,
Plus, He had TWO LEFT FEET;
His Dessert was a Ton, of CORN-ON-THE-COB.
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,077 times)
:angel: ~~~ ::) ~~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ ::) ~~~ :angel:
One Hundred & Forty-Two Pages, nearly, MADE,
Our LIMERICK "Cut-Ups" have Wits, like, BLADES;
Time, indeed, marches, ON,
This Thread, jus', ain't No CON;
St. Paddy's Day dawns, on our 1st HALF-DECADE!
:angel: ~~~ ::) ~~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ ::) ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,112 times)
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:D ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
THE WEREWOLF, OF LONDON, sought BLOOD, RED!
His Warped, Unholy, DESIRE: To KILL His BELOVED;
On the stairway, that NIGHT,
He had Her, "In His SIGHTS";
The Police had Him, in Theirs; SHOT HIM, DEAD!
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:D ~~~ :'( ~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Oh why do the military always win,
Is it because of my green scaly skin,
Or my long lashing claws,
Maybe it is my deep set jaws,
It's because I did not put my audit in.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,164 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
ALL HAIL, The UNIVERSAL CLASSICS' UN-DEAD!
Whose HOME is UMA'S IRISH LIMERICKS AHEAD;
Olde DRAC and The BUNCH,
Use Our BRAINS, as FREE LUNCH;
We're COOKIN', with GAS, at 64,164 TIMES, READ!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I've had enough you lille livered vampire loon,
It's about time that we meet soon,
I may be Mr Hyde and you afraid of the Sun,
But you had better go for your nice shiny new gun,
because there can only be one top monster this high noon.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,216 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
THE ANGRY WEREWOLF broke, free, of His CAGE,
Which left, His VAMPIRE MASTER, OUTRAGED;
Until, by using His WITS,
Snared THE BEAST, in a PIT;
Pleased, that His Slave, could be WOLF-MANAGED!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The werewolf decided to travel out west,
So he decked himself out with a nice vest,
Then he would need a great big hat,
but this just made him look like a prat,
Getting him a gunfight with the Lone Ranger.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,317 times)
;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D
My Brother, MIKE, turned 66, TODAY,
Plus, 100 READS, in A SINGLE DAY!
'Tho', Time is FLYING,
Instead, of DYING;
This Limerick Thread has no Shade, of GREY!
;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,345 times)
;D ~~~ :-X ~~~ ;D ~~ :-X ~~ ;D ~~ :'( ~~~ ;D ~~~ :'(
DER JANUS-KOPF looked, back, and, LAUGHED:
"This olde World stinketh, and, needeth a BATH!"
Said His Face, to the FUTURE,
"Ttis a shame, We're SUTURED;
The Foreboding Darkness might be Divine WRATH."
;D ~~~ :-X ~~~ ;D ~~ :-X ~~ ;D ~~ :'( ~~~ ;D ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
I'm a mere youngster to mike,
I wish him well on life's long hike,
But on a side note I'm 54 today,
So should be gaining on him way hay,
And as a present it has two wheels and aint a bike!
p.s
Only kidding about the mode of transport but it would be cool none the less.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,603 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie In Luv ~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked
Our TV HORROR hath turned, FIFTY-FOUR,
A MONSTER-KID, for TWO & 3/4 SCORE;
I hope, that, Ye UN-WIND,
& The Years ha'e been KIND,
& THE GOOD LORD Grant Ye, Many, MORE!
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie In Luv ~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,800 times)
:angel: ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ :-* ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ :angel:
A Scant 2-HUNDRED READS, TO GO,
Until, 65-THOUSAND will SHOW;
Well, PUN, OF A GUN,
This Thread's, too, much, FUN;
We will Unravel ITS Travel, in SNOW!
:angel: ~~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ :-* ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
It gives me such a warm glow,
To bask as the days move slow,
Writing these Limerick's for fun,
Even though you may not get the pun,
Leaving us hoping that you will go with the flow.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,828 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA took MINA, to DINNER,
Returning, she looked Paler and THINNER;
DRAC made, all, Her BELLS RING,
Until, in stepped Van HELSING;
He staked DRAC; MINA was THE WINNER!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,872 times)
tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt
THIS WINTER IS RAGING, WITH SNOW,
THE FIERCE, ICY, WINDS DOST BLOW;
ABOMINABLE SNOWMEN,
ACT, Like, WILLIE LOMAN;
In DEATH OF A SALESMAN, DON'CHAKNOW!?
tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,946 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
FORTY-FOUR years, ago, were shed, TEARS,
By Nascent MONSTER-KIDS, EVERYWHERE;
It seems, like, only, YESTERDAY,
I remembered, IT, YESTERDAY;
BORIS KARLOFF'S Soul Dwelt, no, longer, HERE.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 64,961 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ye Venerable ROBERT TAYLOR'S Birth-Day!!
Monday, ye 4th, o' February, A.D. 2013
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
On the heels, of Gentle BORIS' PASSING,
A UMA Birth, Whom, the years, is AMASSING;
Beloved Elder, ROBERT TAYLOR,
Groweth, Not, Older, nor, FRAILER;
Yet, in WISDOM, Most, of Us, OUT-CLASSING!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,031 times)
:o ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ :'( ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o
ALL HAIL, that Good Fellow, DWIGHT FRYE,
Honest and True, he could, not, tell a LIE;
with Odd Characters' RETORT,
By Film's end, he'd ABORT;
As, at the Hands, of BORIS, or, BELA, he'd DIE!
:o ~~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ :'( ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,078 times)
:laugh: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :laugh:
The Full Lunar Sphere settled, low, on THE LAGOON,
THE CREATURE was seen, basking, 'neath THE MOON;
"How is it POSSIBLE?!"
"That's a LIVING FOSSIL!"
Then, My Friends & I, sailed, off, in Our Hot-Air BALLOON.
:laugh: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :-* ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,129 times)
>:( ~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~ >:(
Beneath Hot Sands, Sounds Emit, From Ancient CRYPTS,
Frustrated MUMMIES, Gripe, How, They Were ILL-EQUIPPED!
Their Grumbling, about CRUMBLING,
And, Steps, More, Like, STUMBLING;
Olde Curses, So, Bumbling, Should've Been, In The Bud, NIPPED!
>:( ~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,229 times)
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ ::) ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
T-REX bared his Fangs, in a GLOWER,
Frightened, The CAVE-MAN did COWER;
As The Giant REPTILE drew, NEAR,
He, bravely, hurled His SPEAR;
A Meaty Trophy: EXTINCT DINOSAUR!!!
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ ::) ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,267 times)
LON CHANEY, JR., born CREIGHTON TULL CHANEY, on February 10, A.D. 1906;
He was the only Child, of the Great Silent Film Star, LON CHANEY.
An American Actor, LON, initially, achieved Fame, in OF MICE AND MEN, for his notable portrayal, of LENNIE SMALL.
His Immortal Cinematic Portrayals include:
thrhrt THE WOLFMAN, COUNT DRACULA, KHARIS, THE MUMMY,
ededed &, FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER, at UNIVERSAL STUDIOS,
which earned LON, THE UNDYING LOVE, &, RESPECT, of MONSTER-KIDS, Everywhere!
:) ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :)
'Tis Ye Birth-Day, o' LON CHANEY, JUNIOR,
His STAR was, of a MAGNITUDE, MAJOR;
Let's give a Big, Hairy, HAND,
&, CLAP, FOR THE WOLFMAN;
Sadly, He left, US, Much, Too, SOON, SIR.
:) ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Woof woof...What Timmy's down the well,
Woof woof...\what its his birthday that's swell,
Stupid human I said happy birthday Lon,
Oh I don't know how we formed a bond,
He's as thick as a plank where we dwell.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,309 times)
:angel: ~~~ :) ~~ :o ~ >:( ~ >:D ~ >:( ~ :o ~~ :) ~~~ :angel:
A LIMERICK Ode, to the Iracible MR. HYDE,
Impatient, he did, not, his time, well, BIDE;
PROOF, that, FATE is FICKLE,
It left DOC. JEKYLL, in a PICKLE;
Took THEM, Both, Warts & All, on a WILD RIDE!
:angel: ~~~ :) ~~ :o ~ >:( ~ >:D ~ >:( ~ :o ~~ :) ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Doctor I'm not feeling myself today,
Said Mr Hyde if I must say,
I keep thinking I'm someone good,
And as you know it might intrude,
On my social calender so I can't obey.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,355 times)
:-* HAPPY EARLY SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY! :-*
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ :-* ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
THE OPERA GHOST, was consumed, by GREED,
ERIK stated: "CHRISTINE DAE is, all, that, I NEED"!
Nothing, else, on EARTH,
Held, to Him, any WORTH;
Her Understanding LOVE, did His measure, EXCEED!
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ :-* ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Dracula decided to head out west,
He brought with him what suited best,
The tux stayed back in his home,
Allowing for where he might roam,
But a stray arrow caught him in the chest.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,420 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
I've, always, found, that, there is a DETERENT,
A stay, in DRACULA'S Castle, you must pay RENT;
They require, more, than THANKS,
You become Their BLOOD-BANK;
To Extract Due Payment, They'll use a STENT!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,500 times)
u6juu ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ u6juu
THE RIPPER didn't like Women, who BLAB,
Under the cover, of darkness, He'd NAB;
He'd find them, down, on a CORNER,
They'd wind, up, at The CORONER'S;
"THE DEAD TELL NO TALES" ... on the SLAB!
u6juu ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,555 times)
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ :'( ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
Mssr. FORTUNATO lies, in Deep REPOSE,
He's Thick, as a Brick, as his Wall SHOWS;
His only CONFESSOR,
A Mssr. MONTRESOR;
One More Fitting EULOGY, of E.A. POE'S.
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ :'( ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,607 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ hmjfym * tynhrt * hmjfym ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
In less, than, a Month... ANNIVERSARY!
Five Years, of Tthis Thread ... Ooo, SCARY!
'Til we get 1 Million READS,
We'll keep "Doin' The DEED";
Funny, or, not, the Quality, might VARY!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ hmjfym * tynhrt * hmjfym ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
If you want to view our haunted caves,
We'll be pleased to show you our raves,
But first let me introduce your guide,
He comes highly recommended it's Mr Hyde,
Just follow his lead he knows all the best graves.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,708 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
"The Ghouls, all, came, from their humble ABODE",
To Feast, upon the Havoc, which they'd SOWED;
The Grave-Yard, strewn, in a MESS,
Bodies, in a state, of Rotted DISTRESS;
Ghastly Meal, for Diners, in Carnivorous OVER-LOAD!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,775 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~ thrhrt
"I was working, in the Lab, late, one NIGHT",
When DRAC appeared; said: "I need a BITE!"
I must say, that, His breath STANK,
So, off, we went, to a BLOOD-BANK;
&, joined JOHN, singing: "For the Benefit, of Mr. KITE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,805 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
To CASTLE DRACULA, came JONATHAN HARKER,
Where WOLVES could be heard, as BARKERS;
"The Children, of the NIGHT",
Were making Music, ALRIGHT;
Celebrating, as their Evening grew DARKER.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,832 times)
::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::)
LIMERICKS are, to PUNS, what NECKS are, to VAMPIRES,
Irresistable Fun, Plus, Sustenance, to Quench Inner FIRES;
Ooh, Here's a Real STRUGGLER,
Incite a Rhyme, to "JUGULAR";
Neck & Neck, Fangs & "Check, Please", ne'er, Vain, nor TIRED!
::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,880 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Blush
Yes, "The ZOMBIES were", sure, "having FUN",
With Human BRAIN-SALADS, on the RUN;
They had, no, need, of BEER,
As Their Chase went "HIGH-GEAR";
'Til They got Blasted - Head-Shots, with a GUN!
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,932 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
BRUCE LEE, Bitten, became a VAMPIRE,
Attacked & sacked, by The UNDEAD CHOIR;
He awoke, in a Coffin, Post-TRYST,
"Opened the Lid & shook his FIST";
Yelled: "Our Love is, like, a FUNERAL PYRE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Let's get these horses off on the hoof,
We have big game in the form of a wolf,
So dig in deep those sharp heels,
With the wagon loaded on wheels,
Now how do we can get the damned wolf off the roof.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 65,970 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
Materializing, DRACULA appeared, MIFFED,
A Blood-Red Tint, to His Vapourous MIST;
By now, 'twas, too late, to YIELD,
He was forced, to kill RENFIELD;
For failure, to provide Him, MINA, as GIFT.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 66,000 times)
:angel: ~~~~ >:D ~~~ :angel: ~~ :o ~~ :angel: ~~~ >:D ~~~~ :angel:
A lot, of LIMERICKS, might need DE-LOUSIN'
Yet, hang, on, for, the next TEN THOUSAND;
I hope, you'll, not, DESPISE,
Nor, attempt, to EXORCISE;
As we, WILD, Ride, through the 66-THOUSANDS.
:angel: ~~~~ >:D ~~~ :angel: ~~ :o ~~ :angel: ~~~ >:D ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 66,055 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
To THE MONSTER, so, many, were UNKIND,
That, it, really, un-hinged His Poor MIND;
His Brain, so, very, TROUBLED,
Left the Castle, in RUBBLE;
Created a New Curse: "FRANKENSTEINED"!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
With the plane flying round the globe at the start,
I know that I am in for a treat from the horror chart,
Dracula Frankenstein and friends abound,
These are the images I have loved and found,
Never has a movie company captured such great art.
As creatures reach out of the past,
A terrible mold has been cast.
Because tv horror
Is a monster adorer
And the scariest man in Belfast!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 66,077 times)
;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~ hmjfym ~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D
'Tis, great, to know, that, I'm, not, ALONE,
That, TV HORROR & UP are, not, My CLONES;
LIMERICKS can be, quite, TOUGH,
They come, up, with Great STUFF;
Skeletally, They're B-B-Baddd, To The BONE!
;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~ hmjfym ~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Unknown primate sure aint stuffy,
Although I've heard he can be huffy,
But don't let him fool you,
Or else he might stomp too,
Leading to a very nasty human toffee.
The Limerick thread lives, onwards and upwards.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 66,131 times)
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
Abjectly, Trying, to find "CREATURE" RHYMES,
I could Allude, to the Crude, LAGOON, SLIME;
Or, to Play The Foolish GOON,
"Dish ran, away, with The SPOON";
And, Conclude, with: "LENNON, yer a SWINE!"
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 66,173 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
HAUNTED BEAN FACTORY; not, for The FAINT-HEARTED,
HORRORS, Abound, Courtesy, o' The DEADLY-DEPARTED;
They Un-leash Vile, Wild, CAPERS,
Emitting ECTOPLASMIC VAPOURS;
Shut, Down, Yer OLFACTORY... 'Cos, THE HAINT FARTED!
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The good Baron is making my head melt,
Here he is letting off puns that are felt,
I don't know about his bean factory,
So I'm sure that he will share its history,
For his limerick was well below the belt.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 66,210 times)
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
Ah, Ye Famous IRISH Head-Cheese MELT,
Whose Winds are Breaking, upon Moi PELT;
I prefer, Mine, DEEP-FRIED,
From Ye GAS-OVEN SIDE;
Fragrance, too, FISHY?! Well, "'Tis SMELT!"
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The lagoon Creature may have been half fish,
Standing so tall he must have been some dish,
He even had Whit Bissell scream for help,
Now don't you worry Whit he just loves kelp,
Leaving that poor crew and girl stand offish.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 66,246 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
The Evolutionary Theory is, that, Life, always, yells: "NEXT!"
By way, of Proof, offers, how the Trilobite gave, way, to T-REX;
It, seems, always, the SAME,
Current Styles become LAME;
The Classic MONSTERS' Modern Kin are Weirdly PERPLEXED!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 66,341 times)
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D
Once, again, Moi UMA Fang-Mily, We'll PEAK,
This Thread's Natal-Day, in, merely, 1 WEEK;
Resound Thy Limerick PRAISE,
O'er Ye Next Seven DAYS;
5-yrs. Olde; We're, one, o' Nature's Best FREAKS!
;D ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Doctor Moreau decided to fight the flab,
So he invented a routine within the lab,
First he would have a good little whip round,
Thrashing his prisoner who was neatly bound,
Until finally he could cross breed him upon his slab.
I second the Baron's call to pun or I mean arms, St Patrick's day is full of pun, again with that word I meant FUN.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 66,444 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie In Luv
LEPRECHAUN ZOMBIES!?! Nay, I say, NEVER!
Too many Brains make Them, way, too, CLEVER;
Armed, with Their LUCKY CHARMS,
They're Protected, from Any HARM;
W' Rainbows off'ring a Get-Away, in any WEATHER!
Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Deep in the Irish channel the monster awoke,
He was sore at the St Pat's partying he spoke,
Loud was his mighty fearsome roar,
He awakened to soon from his last snore,
Grumpy as heck at his sleep cycle broke.
I'll do this early, so as not to ruin St. Patrick's Day with my sub par writing skills. Here goes:
Dear Baron, I adore the way you rhyme words!
Your limericks are the best I've ever heard.
You poems are so grand- for any woman OR man!
But they are perfect to us Monster Nerds! MONSTER NERDS UNITE!
Happy St. Patrick's Day
There once was a man named Patrick
Who wanted to shoot him a hat trick
One day he did try
But things went awry
Perhaps he needs to use a new stick
In the kingdom of little green men
Way beyond their foggy magic fen
Leprechauns were at play
They did seem quite fey
Dancing a jig, they didn't seem zen
Ygor opened his eyes to see a green hew,
Twice he blinked to clear his hazy view,
Oh my head is spinning like a top,
I must get ready I look like a fop,
That's the last time I drink the foggy dew.
This is for Charp13
Although her tongue can be biting sharp,
There's no denying she's no gaping carp,
She finds her way happily to this thread,
Hoping she will need her calm med,
After laughing so hard that's our Charp.
This is for Flower
Sweet smelling is our very own Flower,
Driven to excess yet not yet sour,
She struggles on forming,
While we go on foaming,
All the while knowing she has the power.
Thanks for the limerick. 8)
An old story which is often told
About a person brave and bold
Who followed the rainbow
And the song of the crow
Searching forever the pot of gold
Ahhhhhhh! Thank you! I am going to print mine out on some fancy paper and frame it! What an honor, tv horror :)
A baron named Frank
Worked down in his tank
To build for his monster a bride
But when she awoke she just couldn't abide
Her bridegroom's suit; it was rank!
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/General%20Album%202/Frank-1_zps411a3800.jpg)
cl:)
When thinking of something to bake
I thought of a gaudy green cake
A Shamrock or two
A sprinkle of dew
I wonder how long it will take?
You guys are all great!!
Here's to the Beast Man, himself!
Cheers, cheers to The Baron
And the limericks I hope he keeps sharin'
Continue to post
You ol' Horror Host
And the limerick king crown you'll keep wearin'!
Unknown primate is a true native of Muncie,
He lived there back when it was crunchy,
How the residents rejoiced at his flight,
Knowing full well he had left their sight,
Its hard to believe he wore a scrunchie.
There was once a cool black cat,
Who resided in his master's hat,
Hep was cool and did not mind,
It was what he would fine,
That caused him to lie out flat.
Thank you my friends, you have really impressed me with your fine Limerick work..
Quote from: Flower on March 13, 2013, 04:08:24 PM
When thinking of something to bake
I thought of a gaudy green cake
A Shamrock or two
A sprinkle of dew
I wonder how long it will take?
That's a great one for St. Patrick's Day!
8)
charp13 writ:
I'll do this early, so as not to ruin St. Patrick's Day with my sub par writing skills.
Here goes:
Dear Baron, I adore the way you rhyme words!
Your limericks are the best I've ever heard.
You poems are so grand-
for any woman OR man!
But they are perfect to us Monster Nerds!
MONSTER NERDS UNITE!
Happy St. Patrick's Day
:o WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 66,618 times) :o
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
Dear CHARP, Thy writing skills are, not, "SUB-PAR",
Not, cheap Graffiti scrawled, on walls, in SOME BAR;
I raise Moi Glass, in GOOD CHEER,
& Quaff a St. Paddy's Day GREEN BEER;
Unto Thee, A Qualified and True, UMA LIMERICK STAR!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Please don't ever be afraid
Of a St Patrick's Day Parade
Cabbages are tossed
Kisses are accost
The luck of the Irish conveyed
The monster decided to wear an all green attire,
It seemed the right thing to do before he could retire,
Having roamed the countryside these many years,
He was now leaving his beloved cave in tears,
Ygor felt bad and give him a lift a touch bright with fire.
I really don't want to be mean
When it comes to wearing the green
I looked at my shirt
It's covered in dirt
I doubt it will ever come clean
Unknown Primate writ: You guys are all great!! Here's to the Beast Man, himself!
Cheers, cheers to The Baron
And the limericks I hope he keeps sharin'
Continue to post
You ol' Horror Host
And the limerick king crown you'll keep wearin'!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,069 times)
ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed
My Beloved Brother, UNKNOWN PRIMATE:
------------------------------------------------
I'm most Honoured, to know YOU, My FRIEND,
That My Show, on Your viewing, could DEPEND;
I, still, remember the FEEL,
Of Your JOY, Being REAL;
When WE Met, before THE CONVENTION'S END.
ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,300 times)
:laugh: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :laugh:
There, once, was a Wee Man, named RON,
Whom I'd met, by Night, in Olde IRELAND;
In need, o' some GOLD,
O' Him, I grabbed HOLD;
'Til He gave it, to Me, that Rich LEPRECHAUN!
:laugh: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,331 times)
;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;)
Our Thread shan't turn the World, on Its EAR,
I Hope, 'twill induce a LAUGH, not, a TEAR;
Hey, UMA, 'tis ST. PADDY'S DAY,
Let's Shout: " Hip, Hip, HOORAY!";
5th Limerick Year; Cheers! 'Ave a GREEN BEER!
;) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Happy Saint Patrick's day,
For being happy is my way,
Yes I can be cross,
And have some sauce,
The fact remains it's true I say.
Happy St Patrick's day to my friends at the Uma
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,388 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ :angel: ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Before Another ST. PADDY'S Day FADES:
UMA Troops made This a Grand PARADE;
You've stepped, up, to the PLATE,
With LIMERICK Puns, OVER-ATE;
Leave the Gate, Open, for, more, SERENADES!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ :angel: ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Vampi was busted in dress rather gaudy
Found in a house that they deemed to be bawdy.
Cause renting her charms
To strangers for alms
Was not truly bad but was naughty!
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/General%20Album%202/Vampirella_zps636ea0d8.jpg)
;)
I may be a wandering Irish fella,
And I'm sure she isn't Cinderella,
With those serious curves,
I'm nearly a bundle of nerves,
Thinking of my beloved Vampirella.
Again I second the Baron's praise, for your yeoman work I raise my glass.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,436 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ ;) ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
I, now, single, out, MAURICE, for KUDOS,
His Heart is SMILES, Wide, &, It SHOWS;
Leavening many THREADS,
TV HORROR is WELL-READ;
Wi' a BRAIN, Full, o' Knowledge, that GROWS!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ ;) ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
I knew I should have kept my head down,
The Baron noticed me and now I frown,
All these years I've stayed out of sight,
But now he has caught me in full flight,
Oh woe is me for in limerick's I'll drown.
Kudos to you Tim, for there were times when the cricket's sounded and you still came though.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,510 times)
:o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o
The SAINT PATRICK'S BUBBLE went: "POP!"
I Hope, that, Our Momentum won't STOP;
The ALIENS have LANDED,
Like, Moi, All, LEFT-HANDED;
My CORNY CIRCLES, a True BUMPER CROP!
:o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
I once saw a UFO no I'm not fibbing,
M y friends gathered for a ribbing,
They stated to all laugh
Then felt a mighty draught,
As the spacemen started ad-libbing.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,563 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
I'll say, this, about My Friend, MR. SPOCK,
He knocked DRACULA, down, with a ROCK;
For His ST. PADDY'S DAY SUDS,
THE COUNT wanted GREEN BLOOD;
From, now, on, VLAD will Act and, NOT, TALK!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
There once was a little green man
Who lived in a recycling can
That day did soon come
They recycled his rum
And took him away in a van
Flowers little green man ended up in a fold,
So twisted was he that there was nothing to hold,
All night long they tried this working crew,
To straighten this poor unfortunate phew,
Even with this foul stench he still ended up sold.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,627 times)
Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Confused ~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Alien
There, once, was a Little, Green, MONSTER,
Who lived, in the NATION, of CONSTER;
That Day did come, SOON,
He cycled, up, to the MOON;
To procure Green Cheese, for THE LONSTER!
Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Confused ~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Alien
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
If ever there were a true fisherman tale,
You can be sure they never seem to fail,
While sailing on the ocean blue,
Their tales always seem too true,
It's the creature stories that turn me pale.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,673 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
In His Coffin, The VAMPIRE KING felt CRAMPED,
Surely, Said HE, "I can have this RE-VAMPED!"
RENFIELD Added: "We can MOUNT,
A Soft Pillow; DOWN, For THE COUNT!"
This Suggestion, of Comfort, left DRACULA AMPED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
The vampire as a bat went out into the snow,
Over the distant hills he flew with the air flow,
On wards and upwards he soared,
Little knowing the ice he scored,
Then down with a bump causing quite a show.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,741 times)
:'( ~~~~ :'(~~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
The First Day, of SPRING; What a LAUGH!
Stroll, Outside, and, Take A SNOW-BATH!
I await the GREEN LEAVES,
Plus, Flowers, Birds & BEES;
Instead, I must Endure NATURE'S WRATH!
:'( ~~~~ :'(~~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,777 times)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ thrhrt ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
With, so, many, recent, SIXES, ALIGNING,
Mind you, that, I am, not, COMPLAINING;
'Tis a Fore-Taste, o' HEAVEN,
Wi' the Perfection, o' SEVENS;
Like, VAMPIRES A-Drinkin', Quite, DRAINING!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ thrhrt ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
I have a mysterious mystery to solve,
What does the Baron's BGG involve,
I've scratched my head raw,
Yet never came up with a flaw,
Before my brain does dissolve.
There once was a man named Jack
Who was known as the neighborhood whack
His slander and libel
He'd swear on the bible
Has caused him a gastric attack
There once was a very sweet cat
Who caught herself a very large rat
Once out of her jaws
And under her paws
She realized it was really a bat
TV HORROR writ:
"I have a mysterious mystery to solve,
What does the Baron's BGG involve,
I've scratched my head raw,
Yet never came up with a flaw,
Before my brain does dissolve."
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,840 times)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ Zombie Shocked ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
Lest, Moi Mystery dissolve Thy FACE,
Akin, to being hit, by Sulphuric MACE;
Turning Thy HYDE, into PHANTOM,
Giving Ye, rise, to ERIK'S TANTRUM:
B.G.G. stands, simply, for BY GOD'S GRACE!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ Zombie Shocked ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
With egg firmly on my Hyde side of the face,
A long standing mystery is solved with grace,
I am not one for using short cuts,
Which left me like the family mutts,
Living under the doghouse's mainbrace.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,870 times)
:o ~~ >:( ~~ ::) ~~ chain_saw ~~ ::) ~~ >:( ~~ :o
I recall, quite, well, My Olde Kentucky HOME,
I'd Summer, there, to avoid the Politics, of ROME,
BEWARE, THE IDES, OF MARCH,
CAESAR'S Salad Lost Its STARCH;
When The Senate was over-run, with GNOMES!
:o ~~ >:( ~~ ::) ~~ chain_saw ~~ ::) ~~ >:( ~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
This seems to be a recurring theme
That I hear an ungodly scream
The zombies are crunching
On me they are munching
I pray that it's only a dream
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 67,990 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER strode, out, of the Theatre, to DINE,
Continentally late, with His Host, FRANKENSTEIN;
"I don't mean, to DEMEAN,
That Movie, on the SCREEN -
Script, a bit Brief; the Man, who, played ME, was FINE."
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
the creature arose from the lagoon goo,
Covered from head to foot with moss glue,
As he wondered towards the small boat,
He was so heavy he might not be able to float,
With a mighty leap he fell short of the boat's flue.
Keep up the good work Flower,
You have became a limerick flow-er,
we might still come up smelling of roses.
As some of our limerick's have fouled noses,
Yes we stink at times and have to clear our blower.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,023 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
I was attacked, by a Giant SQUID,
For my Freedom, I made a Wild BID;
I, boldly, tickled a FEATURE,
Of this Prehistoric CREATURE;
When It sneezed a Bucket, of INK, I HID!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
One day as I was making some toast
I was taunted by a nutty ghost
Who said I was crazy
Or just a bit lazy
I don't know which bothered me most
There are times when I am so dazed,
That my Hyde side leaves me all hazed,
I tend not to worry too much,
For there are things and such,
Like that TV Horror he's half crazed.
Only half crazed I hear you cry,
No he is fully crazy that's no lie,
Why I've heard it said,
He can control the dead,
And on certain nights he can fly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,086 times) BINGO! PALINDROME!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S Toadies, I slice their GULLETS,
They provide, I opine, such, Tasty FILETS;
'Tis Moi Prime OPINION,
That, FILET'D MINIONS,
De-Liver; I'd STAKE VLAD'S "Life", on it & Steal His WALLET!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Easter is cancelled, nothing to do
The holiday bunny, is here in the stew
Pass the pepper and salt
A few rounds of barley malt
Better here on the plate, than left in the dew
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,119 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA relished His Role, as "UN-DEAD BOSS",
Empowered, by Hell, to, never, suffer LOSS;
"Lord, of The UN-DEAD";
It went, to His HEAD;
'Til, Humbled, by Limits, as He saw that 1st CROSS!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,142 times)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
"The Blood is The Life." DRACULA SAID,
Referring, to Food, for THE UN-DEAD;
A GREATER BOOK, WROTE,
Puts HOPE, in that QUOTE;
I Meet HIM, Disguised, as WINE and BREAD.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Renfeild I have visitors clean up this dive,
Master I'm looking for creeping things alive,
I don't care for your obscene lust,
It's the ceilings and corners dust,
They must be clean before I start the blood drive.
HAPPY EASTER MY FRIENDS AT THE UMA.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,157 times)
BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG, Sergeant; Posts: 1900;
Reply #2238 on: Today, EASTER SUNDAY, A.D. 2013, at 07:43:38 AM
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
A GLORIOUS Start, to The AUSPICIOUS DAY,
Moi Past YOKES can, All, come, out, to PLAY,
With Moi Vast LIMERICK COFFERING,
I Make Moi 19-HUNDREDTH OFFERING;
EASTER FIREWORKS! And, A Hip, Hip, HOORAY!!
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Today I met the Easter Bunny
He told me his name was Sonny
I asked for an egg
Didn't want to beg
Because I had run out of money
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,171 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
RESURRECTION'S Meaning is, to Laugh, not, WEEP,
The GOD, Of LOVE DIVINE, WHO, truly, Plays, For KEEPS;
Not, the Secondary "STUFF",
Made, of Marshmallow FLUFF;
that Gooey Artifice, of Artificial Colours, we call: "PEEPS"!
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Renfield was using a flame for a tool,
Blast I've burned a hole near the pool,
What will the master say,
When he awakes from the hay,
I'll just tell him it was an April's fool.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,205 times)
HAPPY 130th BIRTHDAY, LON CHANEY SR.!!!
Born: April 1st, A.D. 1883
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~ hmjfym ~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
THE MONSTER, FAMOUS, for SIGNING,
Was a GENIUS, at Make-Up DESIGNING;
The BEST, of the WORST,
He was Born, APRIL 1ST;
For LON CHANEY SR.'S Classics, I'm PINING!
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~ hmjfym ~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,242 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA had, many, WIVES,
Van HELSING cut, off, their heads, with KNIVES;
He, bravely, saved Miss MINA,
From a Curse, so, OBSCENE-AH;
DRAC destroyed; She had a Baby, who THRIVES!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Went to see Tennessee Voodoo Coupe
And what really threw me for a loop
As far as I can tell
They didn't cast a spell
Just a damn good Rockabilly group
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,261 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
That Sick Psycho, KARL, was, not, a "GOOD EGG",
He'd, rather, Kill and Steal, than, Borrow or BEG;
When THE MONSTER, in POWER,
Hurled him, off, of The TOWER;
It cost him, much, more, than, an Arm and a LEG!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,331 times)
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o
THE CREATURE lived, through the horrid MONSOON,
Although, it, thoroughly, trashed his Homey LAGOON;
As he sifted, through the LITTER,
He refused, to become BITTER;
When he found that Chest, full, o' GOLD DUBLOONS!
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Pickings in London were dry for Vlad,
So he went to the Seaport and was glad,
Then he spied a ship he could not fail,
The crew spotted him for he was so pale,
Tis off to sunnier climes for you m'lad.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,399 times)
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-[ ~~ :blank: ~~ :-[ ~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
Evil MUMMIES met, 'neath the FULL MOON,
To hurl Destructive SPELLS, in a CROON;
As they Vocalized their CHANTS,
They Chewed Tana-Leaf PLANTS;
And Sounded, strangely, a lot, like, PAT BOONE!
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-[ ~~ :blank: ~~ :-[ ~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,492 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
The Skeletons Arose, to Creak & MOAN,
An Invincible Army, of Ancient CLONES;
Expertly, they'd WIELD,
Their Swords & SHIELDS;
'Til JASON Proved, Himself, Bad, to The BONE!
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Ygor was told to throw the switch,
Unfortunately it proved a glitch,
He had pulled to hard,
And it landed in the yard,
Fairly bent upon the passing old witch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,520 times)
:-X ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :-X
We've come, oh, so, Far, so, Very FAST,
'Tisn't, Really, an Onerous TASK;
Page 1-Hundred-Fifty-ONE,
Thread, Littered, with PUNS;
In ye Glow, o' Sick Limericks, We BASK!
:-X ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :-X
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,565 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :o ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
In ye Aulde Castle, Things cause, much, A-FRIGHT,
GHOSTLY Goings-On; so, much, that's, not, RIGHT;
Eerie Sounds, from the ARMOUR,
Ye might be "Getting WARMER";
Identifying Sounds, that: "Go, Bump, In The KNIGHT!"
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :o ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,586 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ;) ~~ ;D ~ 6-8-5-8-6 ~ ;D ~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt
Be it, ever, so 'umble, 'tis HOME,
Same, as I knew, Ancient ROME;
Or, that Sweet REFRAIN, YAH,
Dear, Olde, TRANSYLVANIA;
Here's, to one, more, PALINDROME!
thrhrt ~~~ ;) ~~ ;D ~ 6-8-5-8-6 ~ ;D ~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
To be a good witch you have to be a crone,
Haunting the highways and by-ways alone,
However there are some weird times,
To be had flying to a clock's chimes,
But the best of all it's the twilight zone.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,634 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER, with Envy, turned GREEN,
'Cos, He wasn't a Handsome, Normal, HUMAN BEIN';
His BRIDE fell, for Her DOC,
Told FRANKIE: "Take a WALK!";
So, He leveraged a Lever, to leave Her, in SMITHEREENS!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
Fritz found the tower stairs thick,
Little by little he held on to the brick,
Oh I'm going to whip that monster,
As soon as I've reached the last stair,
The monster gave him the wrong end of the stick.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,771 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
My DESTINY, Decided, as I watched THE STARS, ALIGN,
BELA, BORIS & LON, Stuck GOLD, in UNIVERSAL'S MINE;
My MONSTER-OUS Path was FOUND,
On TV's HORROR HOSTING GROUND;
Extolling Classics: DRACULA, WOLFMAN & FRANKENSTEIN!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,818 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ ::) ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
In TRANSYLVANIA, a Restaurant, run, by Olde GUYS,
Where They serve Fast Food, everyone likes, to BUY;
Fare, both, Exotic & BOLD,
Appeals, to Young & OLDE,
Called: "Five Flies, Burger{Meister}s & DWIGHT FRYE'S"!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ ::) ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G
I would love to watch the Baron as a tv host,
Explaining about his love for Universal the most,
With the creatures of the night,
Howling or creeping by night,
But my television is haunted with its very own ghost.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,858 times)
thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD'S Passion was, that he loved, to eat FLIES,
He broke, all, the old records... No, Big, SURPRISE;
Everyday, and, EVERYNIGHT,
He'd re-route their FLIGHT;
"Down the Hatch!" You could hear their Final CRIES!
thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There once was a young woman called Grace,
Who loved to dress herself all over in lace,
While wearing her latest fashion,
Dracula flew down with fangs flashin,
She lifted her hand and blinded him with mace.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,913 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA awoke, amid some CONFUSION,
"I feel, as, if, my head has a CONTUSION."
"I'm the King, of the UNDEAD;
Still, a SHOVEL, to the HEAD,
Means, that, HARKER is Cruisin', for a BRUISIN'!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The limericks founding father is a grand dad,
He is so over joyed and it is not a fad,
We all wish him all the best,
As he holds his hands in his vest,
For he is so proud his love iron clad.
Congratulations Paul we are sending you blessings and all our very best.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 68,958 times)
:-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-*
PACKY PAUL is a Brand-New Grandfather, NOW,
With Grand-Baby Blessing His Life.... And, HOW!
One, Small, New, KOLOC,
Hopefully, sans COLIC;
PAUL'S Grand-Father Claws can wrinkle his BROW!
:-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,025 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Nuetral ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIES attended The FEAST,
They ate their fill, piece, by PIECE;
Be it, Liver, or, BRAINS,
They left, no, REMAINS;
Then, headed, to a Concert, out, EAST.
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Nuetral ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,103 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA, as a Bat, flew, in, through the DORMER,
His acute, Un-Dead, Senses, "Getting WARMER";
Landing, on the Victim's BED,
He saw, much, BLOOD, RED;
A Stake, in His Heart, 'cos, of RENFIELD, The INFORMER!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
If you go into the woods today,
Beware the cabin made of grey,
Because the woods hold the evil dead,
And as we all know they are full of dread,
Undead creatures who love to fray.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,210 times)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
DOM FROLLO'S Deformed Servant had, just, ONE EYE,
His WEB, of Intrigue, TOO, VAST, were, one, TO PRY;
Still, he could, CODE 'EM,
His Name: QUASI-MODUM;
ESMERALDA Loved, to Drink; He'd CATCH 'ER, IN THE RYE!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Harryhausen's Sinbad was the best,
Fighting creatures in just his vest,
With the odd evil wizard,
To the snow of a blizzard,
Both he and his crew were full of zest.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,296 times)
{Another PALINDROME!}
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA joined a Secret Brotherhood; HA-HA!
Took BLOOD COLONICS; Clever Solution, Oh, JA!
He did, not, need FANG, or, CLAW,
Yet, STAKED, for He broke The LAW;
They said, He was "Fraternizing, with The ENEMA"!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Darn this shirt collar is too tight,
All day it's been like this since last night,
No matter how I fumble,
Its made me mumble,
Maybe it's because of that vampire's bite.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,340 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Times Read: 69-Thousand 3-Hundred & FORTY,
Moving, along, at a Clip, that's, quite, SPORTY;
THE UMA shouldst REJOICE,
To have, such, an Odd VOICE;
As The LIMERICK Thread, to add, to our SORTIES.
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,410 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
APRIL ends, on Tuesday's Stroke, of MIDNIGHT,
We're lead, once, again, into WALPURGIS-NIGHT;
This most Salient, of FACTS,
We can trace, back, to DRAC;
Which gave JONATHAN HARKER, Much, FRIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Baron shows Walpurgisnacht spirit!
And I am so pleased to hear it!
Now let's dance 'round the fire,
while it's beauty we admire...
Just be sure not to stand way too near it! :) HA!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,480 times)
ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed
'Twas The FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER'S Last, Violent, ACT,
From the Tortured Life, of Murd'rous Hate, He CRACKED;
Consumed, with Bile, and, IRE,
He boarded His FUNERAL PYRE;
He made, an Ash, of Himself, to Find, WHAT, He LACKED!
ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The end of April may seem a bit tame,
Thank goodness it's always the same,
Coming round but once a year,
Yet it's Walpurgisnacht I fear,
To miss the treasures blue flame.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,524 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ >:D ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
DR. YOGAMI, that WEREWOLF, of Olde TIBET,
As a MAN, said: "I've met, no, YETI, YET!"
"TIBET'S a Huge PLACE,
To meet, Face-to-FACE;
He's welcome, to Visit, for Wine & a CIGARETTE."
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ >:D ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Master may I have your cloak,
It needs a good long soak,
Phew it smells a lot,
I suppose it's the rot,
What would they say if you croak,
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,555 times)
::) ~~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~ :'( ~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
The Mummified Cousin, of IM-HOTEP,
In Life & Un-Death, was a Real SCHLEP;
He tried, to sing RAP,
After His 3,000-Yr. NAP;
But, found, He was Lacking, in PEP!
::) ~~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~ :'( ~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Baron Latos looked elegant in a top hat,
Even to the point of wearing it as a bat,
But as the wind grew,
He fluttered as he flew,
Causing him to land were it was flat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,626 times)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :'( ~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
Well-known, for His, most, obvious, FEATURE,
QUASIMODO could, not, pass, for a TEACHER;
Bearing His sad, harried, STRIFE,
He lived, a most Honourable LIFE;
His Message's depth proves, Him, a PREACHER!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :'( ~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,673 times)
::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~ :angel: ~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::)
Some Limericks might, well, ARTICULATE,
The Sorrow, of our Classic Monsters' FATE;
I.E.: Silver Bullets, or, Holly STAKES,
Plus, Puns' convenient DOUBLE-TAKES;
Convey the Odd Logic, in our Loony PATES.
::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~ :angel: ~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Renfield you're always raving,
Shouting the praise of saving,
Well my blood's ran cold,
Now I am fit to be told,
Where I can indulge my craving.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,740 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz
THE MARTIANS grew, tired, of EARTH,
Could find, there, nothing, of WORTH;
"With Them, out, of the WAY,
We could launch a NEW DAY;
To a Better Solar System, give BIRTH!"
Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,775 times)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :'( ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
THE CREATURE swam The Lagoon, with the FISHES,
Unchallenged, by Them, when it came, to His WISHES;
When His Hunger CALLED,
He was, always, ALLOWED;
To Consume His MEALS, Freed, of the Need, of DISHES!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :'( ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
While Luna flew down on a string,
The great Lugosi stood in the wing,
With this gruesome,
How be it twosome,
It was a great screen pairing to bring.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,796 times)
Oh, Look, Ma! Another PALINDROME!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~ thrhrt
TV HORROR waxes, Sublimely, about BELA and CAROL,
I try, to make Rhyme, o' 69,796, w' Actor, WILL FERREL;
He tries, to be FUNNY,
He makes lot, o' MONEY;
Which accounts, for WILL FERREL'S NON-PAREIL APPAREL!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,833 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ :o ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
Southern GHOULS went, to rifle the GRAVES,
Looking, for "Free Hand-Outs", to SAVE;
For some, later, MEAL,
They got a "GOOD DEAL";
Quenched Their Thirst, with Bayou WAVES!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ :o ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The mourning has begun of our sci fi nation,
With the passing of Harryhausen's Dyna-mation,
I once met the great man in person,
And a great thrill it was for a reason,
Because he left me in such fascination.
RIP Ray you will be missed.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 69,948 times)
:angel: ~~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~ :-* ~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~~ :angel:
I, too, Knew & LOVED, the TREASURE, of RAY,
More, oft, than, once, He made, Great, my DAY;
Ninety-Two Years, a Long RUN,
He gave Us, SO, MUCH, FUN;
'Tis, for FRIENDS, like, Him, that, I PRAY.
:angel: ~~~ :'( ~~ :'( ~ :-* ~ :'( ~~ :'( ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Novels can be filled with horror and witchcraft,
Reams and reams wrote with old fashioned pen-craft,
So what makes it appeal,
Maybe the fillings the deal,
What I do know is just how great the work is of Lovecraft.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,050 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I know a very Strange VAMPIRE, named CHESTER,
Who, with his Blood, had a fondness, for CHEDDAR;
When THELMA & LOUISE,
Both, "CUT THE CHEESE";
It became, NECK and NECK, a "DOUBLE-HEADER"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Over seventy thousand minds of limerick corruption,
And all it took was a dastardly plan of brain eruption,
The Baron struck while we were weak,
Catching us napping during the week,
We beg you Baron release us now from further devotion.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,120 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
Poor NORMAN BATES was "Off His ROCKER", EH?!
His MOTHER sat, there, and, there, She'd STAY;
Between MOTHER and SON,
A Bond, not, soon, UNDONE;
They wish, You, too: "A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!"
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Im-Ho-tep was feeling a bit low,
Something's wrong his servant in toe,
Master why are you getting so sad,
Did professor Mueller make you mad,
I've no mummies day flowers to show.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,194 times)
:o ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :o
Waaaayyyy Back When, there was BORIS' FU MANCHU,
Then, Came MONSTERS made, out, of LATEX and GOO;
Aye, TIME MARCHES, ON,
Past Our BELA and LON;
Now, We're FANS, Who Cherish THE GREAT DR. WHO!
:o ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,230 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ :o ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
Most, all, VAMPIRE Brides are, quite, PRETTY,
They'll drive you, wild; Delectable GOODIES;
It has been My Tough LUCK,
To have My Neck SUCKED;
By one, so, UGLY... Well, Darn, What A PITY!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ :o ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The captain does not know how the creatures feels,
Lurking about the black lagoon with his high ideals,
Searching both high and low,
After his awful encounter below,
But the thought of the creature wearing high heels.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,300 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
The Papyrus Scroll, a deadly, dire, Fate, PRESCRIBED,
To any Mortal, who'd speak the evil Spell, DESCRIBED;
The Translator was GLAD,
But, then, he went MAD;
When IM-HOTEP would, not, in his Sarcophagus, ABIDE!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,420 times)
tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt
Ye Olde Clock, striking Midnight, FORETOLD,
Ye Castle's Great, Haunted, Treasure, o' GOLD;
Many Centuries, HIDDEN,
A Dark Secret, UNBIDDEN;
By Warrior Spirits, Protected! SEEKER, BE BOLD!
tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,485 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
The high Windows were flung, open, WIDE,
By Forces, Unseen, full, of Power & PRIDE;
T'is, never, a HASSLE,
To enter Their CASTLE;
As Day breaks & The VAMPIRES must HIDE!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Today I'm not feeling very bright,
Maybe it's because I look a sight,
I forgot to comb my hair,
Or wear my usual flair,
This old Hyde side is starting to bite.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,553 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA'S Castle, was being DISTURBED,
Tourists left DRAC & His Brides PERTURBED;
"'Twas Bad, enough, by DAY,
Now, by Night, to hold SWAY;
Impossible! Let's MOVE, Out, to THE 'BURBS!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Though gawkers might drive Drac insane
I find him fleeing them to be quite a strain.
If he made a new monster home
in the same place the suburbanites roam
it'd be 1313 Mockingbird lane!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,634 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
A Home, always, battered, by TEMPEST,
Where BATS can take their "BEAUTY REST";
Never, a Bummer, to SLUMBER,
If you've got the Right NUMBER;
1313 is, obviously, the Very, Beastly, BEST!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,852 times)
:angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ ::) ~ :-* ~ ::) ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
A Prized Vacation, o' Several DAYS,
One, sadly, o' our Infrequent STAYS;
Where I, & Moi BARONESS,
Can Escape, to RE-FRESH;
Despite, All, o' ye MONEY, one PAYS.
:angel: ~~~ :laugh: ~~ ::) ~ :-* ~ ::) ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 70,952 times)
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
Ye Long-Dead Mausoleum GHOSTS didst CONSORT,
Murdered, They were, in Their Revolutionary FORT;
They wouldst, Ne'er, DISAPPEAR,
Their Cause, o' Freedom, so, DEAR;
So, chose, to use The After-Life, to make Full REPORT.
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Owning an old castle you should see the household bill,
Money galore spent from the castles coffers do spill,
Igor suggested letting people in,
Times have changed I do grin,
I can still view my forgotten prisoner through the grill
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 71,005 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ :angel: ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
When Hungry VAMPIRES MATERIALIZE,
Or, in BAT-FORM, Swoop, out, of the SKIES;
Then, a UMA Limerick PUN,
Won't Substitute, for a GUN;
Force-Feed Them STAKE, with GARLIC FRIES!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ :angel: ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 71,065 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~ >:( ~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER was Boiling MAD,
His Creator had proven, himself, a CAD;
His Intended BRIDE,
Was, not, SATISFIED;
She chose The DOCTOR and wanted him, BAD!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~ >:( ~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 71,101 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed
That Fiendish MAD DOCTOR, PRETORIUS,
Sent FRANKIE, into Ye Arms, o' MORPHEUS;
He awoke, SATISFIED,
At meeting His BRIDE;
Yet, Ye Outcome Proved a Disastrous STORIUS!
ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 71,194 times)
:angel: ~~~~ >:D ~~~ :angel: ~~ C:) ~~ :angel: ~~~ >:D ~~~~ :angel:
'Tis, not, Important, to be BEST, or, WORST,
Just, to Exorcize This Gift, o' Limerick CURSE;
Now, on Page 1-HUNDRED FIFTY-FIVE,
At 5-Years, Plus, our Limericks THRIVE;
So, ANTE-UP & ALLEY OOP, on June, the FIRST!
:angel: ~~~~ >:D ~~~ :angel: ~~ C:) ~~ :angel: ~~~ >:D ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The werewolf enjoyed being so free,
He loved to see the villagers flee,
On nights of the full Moon,
His roaming would end too soon,
After he had barked up the wrong tree.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 71,435 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE WEREWOLVES are Howling, TONIGHT,
About a CHANGE, They think, is, All, RIGHT;
Now, They're starting, to CROON,
An Amazing, FOUR-PART, TUNE;
Imagine, BARBERSHOP, by FULL MOON-LIGHT!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 71,494 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
THE EERIE GHOSTLY CHEF started a New CRAZE,
Leaving, all, the Resident Spooks, quite, DAZED;
ECTOPLASMIC FARE,
"BEYOND" COMPARE;
A Very SCARY FRENCH Dish: "BOOOO-LABAISE"!
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
There was a wee man who loved a comic book,
As he traveled to work he would get the odd look,
He did not mind for he was miles away,
Dreaming of adventures during the day,
They all gasped when he caught the towns leading crook.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 71,570 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named FRED,
Who, by night, remained, quite, UNDERFED;
He tried, hard, to get BLOOD,
He looked, like, ELMER FUDD;
He didn't, last, long, amongst THE UNDEAD!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
Happily, I go, Daily, to the DAIRY,
Wi' me True Luv, named MARY;
Smiled, when I made a PASS,
Now, me stunnin' IRISH LASS;
She's me Darlin' Dearie, o' DERRY!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Master someone called Cagney said you were a rat,
And to make matters worse he added also a dirty bat,
If you want me to deal with him,
I'll need a hat with a wide brim,
The two bit gangster will only hear my rat a tat tat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 718,97 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
Written, on Sunday Morning, 9 A.M.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 71,817 times)
Be it, ever, so, humble, there's, no, place, like, HOME,
Especially, where MONSTERS are made, of Latex FOAM;
Try a CLASSIC MONSTER'S Visage, ON,
Of Dear, Olde, BORIS, BELA, or, LON;
That Place, where you, just, say the Word: PALINDROME!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,083 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
This world can be, so, cruel and COLD,
To Actors, when their careers do FOLD;
Remember that FELLA,
Our Immortal BELA;
Great VAMPIRE, e'en, when He was OLD!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Desist woman from giving me that mean look,
I only want to sell you this house by the book,
There have been rumors I know,
But then again you know how they flow,
So all I can tell you is I'm not afraid of no spook.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,255 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush
New ZOMBIES have, but, ONE Goal, to ATTAIN,
They'll seek IT, out, in Snow, Sleet, or, RAIN;
ONE Thing fills Their MIND,
They're Craving, to FIND;
That, which NON-ZOMBIES Possess: a BRAIN!
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
As a couple we went for a walk in the park,
How were we to know as it was for a lark,
That on the night of the full Moon,
The park was cleared of every loon,
As we strolled out jumped one with a loud bark.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,308 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
CLASSIC MONSTERS don't use Guns, or, TANKS,
Nor, do THEY "Break In", to ROB BANKS;
If our LIMERICKS are FUN,
Dressed, up, with a PUN;
We, simply, say: "Hey, UMA! Sincerest THANKS!"
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,370 times)
:angel:~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
We've a Fine JUNE Saturday A-BORNIN',
SUMMER Flies, no, Time, for MOURNIN';
We, ALL, say: "Aw, SHUCKS!",
As the DAYS Fall, like, HUSKS;
Just Wait, 'til We HARVEST the CORN, IN!
:angel:~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Master master how high do you want me to jump,
Until you come down to Earth with a bump,
I've lost my blood appetite,
Due to this blasted frostbite,
So fix that leaking roof before I get up my hump.
In this LIMERICK, I went Looonggg, to Honour the New SUPERMAN Movie!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,400 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel:
There, once, was a WEREWOLF, from KENT,
Who was, of a, most, decidedly, curious, BENT;
Yes, His first name was CLARK,
His Bite, worse, than His BARK;
Put you, in yer CRYPT, TONIGHT, to Show what He MEANT!!!
:angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,484 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
ZOMBIES, you know, aren't very, "High CALIBER",
They, only, EAT, at The Local BRAIN-SALAD BAR;
Their Romances, SUB-PAR,
They've no need, of a CAR;
But, if They've got "The Right Look", They'll go, FAR!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,627 times)
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
Hard times befall THE GRIM REAPER,
For LIFE has, never, been CHEAPER;
For, all, of Death's DREAR,
It inspires so little FEAR;
'Tis, now, viewed, as a Real SLEEPER!
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,700 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
The SUPER{FULL}MOON Arrives, on JUNE 23RD,
In WEREWOLFEZE: "AaarRrOoouU!" is THE WORD!
Our Night, to HOWL,
In such Light, to PROWL;
To Dine, with Moi Brother, IVAN, is, much, PREFFERED!
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,734 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
There, once, was a Clan, of Mad, Giant APES,
Who's Victims, in TERROR, could, only, GAPE;
They'd leave them, for DEAD,
As They bit, off, their HEADS;
Said, that: "They taste Sweet, like, GRAPES!"
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Renfield hurry and get me something for my pain,
Go to the village and see what you can gain,
Even one of those peasant dentists,
That I hate and curse if I insist,
Because this fang has refuse to work or drain.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,810 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Me Aulde MUTHER, wunst, said, w' a SIGH,
"Oi wunder, why, 'tis, that VAMPIRES FLY;
Their Thirst drives 'em, BATS,
So, Oi boils 'em, as BRATS;
In GARLIC OIL... They SCREAM, an', then, DIE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,910 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRAC Consumes Blood Pudding, with a SPOON,
As He laments the Approaching End, of JUNE;
He loves the long days, o' SUMMER,
Sleeping, LATE, ain't no BUMMER;
Makes His Hay, by The LIGHT, OF THE MOON!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 72,957 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER, in AMERICA, was mired, in QUIRKS,
In His Quest, for a BRIDE, Women thought Him, a JERK;
His Attire, UNCOOL,
Cast Him, as a FOOL;
His Ungovernable Fear: FOURTH, OF JULY, FIREWORKS!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 73,058 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Some Cinematic Vampires made Performances, PALTRY,
As, if, insipidly, incapable, of VAMPIRIC ADULTERY;
Some, too, limpid, even, to say: "BOO!",
I know, one, who makes you say: "WHO?!"
THIS UN-DEAD KID'S ALRIGHT ... ROGER DALTRY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
Prof Lampini decided to park near a well,
He had hear that the gypsies there did dwell,
I'll show them my chamber of horrors,
And they will shout loudly of their abhors,
That was until the mad doctor made him neck swell.
Olde London town used to be filled with tarts,
Jack Tars and such or those that pushed carts,
It was around this time,
When the city was all grime,
That the Ripper applied his vile and cruel arts.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 73,165 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :-* ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE YETI came, from afar, up, NORTH,
With Well-Wishes, so, on, &, so, FORTH;
Advanced, by a DAY,
He wanted, to SAY:
"To, all, MONSTER-KIDS, a Happy & Safe 4TH!"
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :-* ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
TIMMY, THE BARON & BARONESS BETH, &, FRIENDS, GOO-O-OODD!, B.G.G.
The Baron will be silent a few days, his appendix ruptured last night & he is in hospital recovering from surgery.
Baroness Beth
My prayers go out to Tim and you Beth, tell him that it is the fireworks that are supposed to rupture on the 4th not himself. Thank you Baroness for taking the time to let his friends know.
Oh for goodness sake,
The Baron is off with an ache,
What will this thread do,
With missing his limerick in lieu,
So I'll try my hand give or take.
Get well soon my friend.
Dear Baron, I just heard of your trouble!
Now you must get well-ON THE DOUBLE!
I hear you were cursed,
with an appendix that BURST!
And reduced your poor tummy to rubble!
GET WELL SOON, dear Monster Friend :)
Charp!
That is a great limerick .. keep it up!
;D
Once again the UMA has shown its better side,
With talent flowing from members words that glide,
So take a well earned rest,
While we fill in with our best,
He will return triumphant knowing that the thread did not slide.
Baron T., you'll need plenty of rest,
And a soft place to lie in your nest. (home)
I'm sure you'll be well,
and looking just swell!
Because you & Ms. Beth are the BEST! :)
Take time & get better, Baron. I'm going to say it......We Love & miss you!
Sometimes things go so terribly wrong,
And can not be fixed with just a song,
But we can now tell
You will soon be well
Viewing Ballykissangel all day long
'Round the fire our dear BARON was millin';
The Fourth of July can be ever so thrillin'!
But the meat-starved ghoul
Made of himself a fool,
And tossed his appendix on the fire for grillin'!
:o
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
I think that this boat of ours is starting to sink,
And there you go and tell me we'll be in the drink,
Also to beware the jaws of the man eating sharks,
Thanks dearest for throwing the water on the sparks.
But I'll have the last laugh I'm female and you're on the brink.
Baron Timotheus wasn't the first,
Whose appendix swelled up and burst!
Though he seems to fare well,
The scare put us through Hell!
Hey, Houdini! Is this guy cursed?
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
The Baron has, seldom, been in Hospital,
Werewolf genes helped, to buy, an Acquittal;
Still, enjoying my Breath,
no longer, life or Death,
'Tho, I do confess, to feeling, quite, brittle.
Baroness Beth and I are humbled by all of your loving words, prayers,and fine contributions to the UMA
Limerick thread.
The Limerick Baron has returned to plague us once more,
With his marvelous wit and charm that we all adore,
My thanks and praise to our members,
Who came through with their posting,
Limericks flowed free I'm boasting,
Showing love for the good Baron who quotes Nevermore.
Great to see you back my friend.
HOOORAY! The Baron is back!
Now the lim'ricks will be right on track.
So rest up your sweet brain,
Let the words flow again
Cuz some of us just ain't got the knack! HA!
As the Baron lay sick in his bed,
the UMA trembled with dread,
but now he is cured,
we are reassured,
long live our limerick thread!
I don't know what's wrong with Charp?
I think her words very sharp.
She writes a fine rhyme.
Smiling all the time.
Talent hidden under a tarp.
The Baron is back to being hale and furry!
No longer have we any need to worry.
He'll take a brief rest,
Then be back at his best,
With new victims a-plenty to bury!
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
Dear Flower has encouraged me so..
I guess I'll just say tally ho!
I will keep the rhymes flowing,
With my confidence growing,
Til the Baron gets back his gusto! :)
Finish one limerick and you'll soon be craving,
T he sweet sound of praise from those raving,
So put those fingers or claws,
To keyboards until dawn draws,
Its first golden light upon the outside paving.
Thank you friends for your continued support.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 73,818 times)
:angel: ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ :-* ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :angel:
AN ODE, TO PERITONITIS
-----------------------------
Again, I am stalking these BOARDS,
Admiring, so, many, Fine, WORDS;
'Twas, somewhat, o' a GRATER,
For, 'tis, now, One Week, LATER;
That, I ha'e been, out, o' Moi GOURD!
:angel: ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ :-* ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FREINDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Silly Charp, you really do have the knack,
For talent is not something you lack.
Don't flee in terror
Making an error
And no one will give you any flack.
Baron, you are our limerick hub.
I can tell you- we all miss you, Bub. :)
You're such a good trooper,
And I know you don't feel "super",
Cuz, I have been to the Peritonitis Club.
I wish you fast healing & a smooth recovery. It's an unexpected malady, and I have a big ol' scar on my right side, too. Although nowadays, it's probably dealt with differently than it was 30 years ago when mine decided to burst. I feel for you, Sir- and the loved ones who are caring for you. Hugs to you & yours. :)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 73,887 times)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ :-* ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
Our Dear CHARP is an Uplifting WRITER,
Joyfully Optimistic; ne'er, a BLIGHTER;
This WEREWOLF, so, ROUGH,
Cannot THANK, YOU, ENOUGH;
You make My dark days Shine, BRIGHTER!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ :-* ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FREINDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 73,940 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
Recovery comes, measured, so, slowly, APACE,
Incremental dilution, o' the Pain, on My FACE;
My Body adapting, heavy, as LEAD,
Feeling, of Returning, from the DEAD;
I keep Thanking GOD, for Your Prayers & HIS GRACE!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FREINDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,158 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA went, for the THROAT,
Biting, through His Victim's OVER-COAT;
'Twas, such, a SURPRISE,
It caused His Swift DEMISE;
HOLY WATER Neck-Wrap, made Him EXPLODE!!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FREINDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,318 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
The GHOST, of the Man, who fell, into a CHASM,
Kept reliving his Fate, with an unearthly SPASM;
A Terror, not, for the WEAK,
'Twas his Perpetual FREAK;
Using, up, Huge Amounts, of Gooey ECTOPLASM!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FREINDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I'm generally sympathetic to ghosts
But this one's messier than most
His recurring death-quiver
made everyone shiver
So we busted him; this dude is toast!
(http://i.imgur.com/JyMUNh.jpg)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,395 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ C:) ~~ ::) ~~ C:) ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
'Tis good, to see 1VAN, playing The HOST,
E'en, to Beings, who, appear, so, GROSS;
Choosing a WINNER,
As a "Take-Out" DINNER;
"Au Flambé" is, more, succinct, than "TOAST"!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ C:) ~~ ::) ~~ C:) ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FREINDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,432 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ cl:) ~ tynhrt ~ cl:) ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Confined, to My Home, whilst I, slowly, REPAIR,
This Window, to the World, makes it, more, FAIR;
Yes; Progress, day, by DAY,
I LOVES Me Some UMA;
Thanks, FANG-MILY, for the Ways, that, You CARE!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ cl:) ~ tynhrt ~ cl:) ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FREINDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,496 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ hmjfym ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE MUMMY was, long, parched, by the SAND,
"It's something, I can, no, longer, STAND!"
So, via an Escape TRIP,
He works, wi' Gladys Knight's PIPS;
In Georgia, at Mid-Night, He's in Great DEMAND!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ hmjfym ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FREINDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,568 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
Of Legendary status, the VAMPYR, ALOYSIUS,
Always, found Blood, to be EXTRA-DELICIOUS;
Known, as, "THE MAVEN,
OF SANGUINE CRAVING";
His hold, on his Victims' Jugulars: TENACIOUS!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I heard them screaming outside my door,
Lunatic howling, squeals, yelps and more,
Ranting very terse
About an evil curse
That will slay them bloody upon the floor.
Silly golems with a nasty scheme,
Boldly accosting people they scream,
Thus hoping to scare,
But one doesn't care
We all know that it's only their dream.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,691 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
In Need, o' My Classic Monster FIX,
I chose One, o' My Favourite PICS;
When It started STREAMING,
This Monster-Kid, BEAMING;
Enjoyed Bela's DRACULA, on NET-FLIX!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,803 times)
:) ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-[ ~~ :'( ~~ :-[ ~~~ :o ~~~~ :)
He had invited Her, out, on a Dinner DATE,
A Doctor, of Science... She, just, couldn't WAIT;
'Tho', she thought, that, She knew HIM,
They met, &, She Saw, Right, Thru HIM;
THE INVISIBLE MAN wouldn't, yet, Find A MATE.
:) ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-[ ~~ :'( ~~ :-[ ~~~ :o ~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,857 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Confused ~ Zombie Grin ~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named FRED,
Who Billed, Himself: "KING, Of The UNDEAD";
Although "A Bit, Off The BEAM",
He Took One, For THE TEAM;
When Unlucky FRED took, one, to The HEAD!
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Confused ~ Zombie Grin ~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We now mourn the loss of ol' Fred;
He was king, or at least that's what he said.
A real stand-up guy
he was destined to die
Even though it was all in his head.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,941 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
There Occurs, quite, was a "STICKY SITUATION",
A BLOB, which causes FEAR and FRUSTRATION;
IT Loves, All, IT CONSUMES,
We are, Officially, DOOMED;
As IT proves, just how, Much, IT Loves Our NATION!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 74,993 times)
7 Reads, to go, until 75,000; Thanks, UMA FANG-MILY!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
This Evil GHOST caused, such, a "TO-DO",
Threatening Death, before He was THROUGH;
"In my Earthly STINT,
I was PETER QUINT;
Famed, in Henry James' 'The Turn, Of The SCREW'"!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The beast is hacking flem at my door,
Disturbing me to my very core.
I will not pardon
Messing my garden
Or the pelting my soul any more
Can you tell us why you lurk all day?
Is it that you have nothing to say?
Don't be so shy,
We know you're a spy.
But take care, skunks are known to spray.
Last night you were screaming on your deck.
Crazy bull sh*t, drunken slurs and dreck.
Soon you'll be gone,
Living like a con
Slandering new neighbors. What the heck
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,334 times)
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
Last night, an Olde Friend stopped, BY,
Thru the screen, I saw His Glowing EYES;
"Ankh-es-en-amon, I SEEK,
And, No, I won't be MEEK;
If you hide Her, from Me, then, you'll DIE!"
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,473 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed
The Two MONSTERS, in Mortal Combat, ENGAGED,
FRANKENSTEIN, Angry, and, THE WOLFMAN, ENRAGED;
Naught, else, did They HEED,
Save, to make The Other BLEED;
Their Death-Match Ended, as They met a Watery GRAVE!
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I'm sorry that they ate your brain,
But that's no reason to complain.
You're still a bore,
Go on as before,
Babbling loudly of things inane,
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,565 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
PRINCE SIRKI "Went Slumming", They SAY,
To determine, who, He, next, must SLAY;
The Tone, on His BEEPER,
Is "Don't Fear The REAPER";
Business was Slow, so, He went, on HOLIDAY!
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,628 times)
thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Mad ~ :o ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS went, out, Two, By TWO,
To capture Humans, to put, in Their ZOO;
They tried, to DEBATE 'EM,
It ends, up, They ATE 'EM;
If You were UN-DEAD, wouldn't YOU?!
thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Mad ~ :o ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Alas, my thoughts, they do meander
Only sick fiends sprouting slander.
Oh, Piggy Piggy
Tis not a biggie
As red blood spills, so does candor.
It seemed to roll in with the fog,
Something slimey from the bog?
I could hear it huff,
I could hear it puff,
An attorney out for a jog.
I once met a man with the name of Frank
Honestly, he was smelling very dank
Told me a story,
About his glory,
Tossed a girl in the lake, she sank.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,657 times... Uh, PALINDROME, AGAIN!)
:) ~~~~ :) ~~~ :) ~~ ::) ~~ :) ~~~ :) ~~~~ :)
There's a new Limerick Scribe, o' Ye HOUR,
Who produceth, with such Fervent POWER,
His Works doth SCOUR,
Ye Maudlin and DOUR;
To Impart a Strange Fragrance! Hail, FLOWER!
:) ~~~~ :) ~~~ :) ~~ ::) ~~ :) ~~~ :) ~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,687 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ :-[ ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA set, out, on a Trip, to EGYPT,
"Why, to Locate THE MUMMY!" VLAD QUIPPED.
Beneath Ancient STARS,
He ravaged the BARS;
From His Mission, Distracted & ILL-EQUIPPED.
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ :-[ ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
She was out of the old horror school.
I swear she was a creepy old ghoul,
Without saying please,
Souls she would seize
And would toss them deep in the pool.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,717 times)
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
The GHOSTLY CLAN comes, out, to PLAY,
In Traditional Sheets, of White, or, GREY;
They don't Glow, too, BRIGHT,
Because, it's, mostly, at NIGHT;
Their Weekend begins, on SHADOWDAY!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,777 times)
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~ :blank: ~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
Dr. Yogami imparted His Lycanthropic BITE,
To Dr. Wilfred Glendon, in Tibet, one NIGHT;
'Twas, now, most, ADVERSE,
How They shared The CURSE;
'Til Dr. G cured Dr. Y, o' His Moonlit FRIGHTS!
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~ :blank: ~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Their arrival was inauspicious
Sprouting omens so propitious
It must be an error
Not more of this terror
Even Golems are more judicious
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,863 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad
THE ZOMBIE HORDES settled, down, for a REST,
Passionately, Dreaming, about What They do, BEST;
Mayhap: Painting, and, WRITING,
Surely, Never, Stalking and BITING;
If you think that's True, then, You've Failed The TEST!
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
She was bitten by a rabid bat,
Sanity imploding with a splat.
Tis wasn't so wise,
Embracing the lies,
So now my golem would like a chat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,898 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
This SUMMER Is Sliding, Fast, AWAY,
Soon, Shall Invade Autumnal GRAY;
ALL-HALLOWS' E'EN,
Vents Fall's SPLEEN;
As CLASSIC MONSTERS Hold Full SWAY!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The princess who lived in the tower
Had a very magical power,
A spell she would chant
Then a wish she would grant
Things evil and noisome would sour
I inquired of my gracious host,
If standing behind him was a ghost
It wasn't a yeti
That ate my spaghetti
And wondered if he had any toast.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 75,980 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE FAMOUS MONSTERS called a CONVENTION,
THE BLOB was Huge, with Hideous DISTENSION;
It filled the whole SPACE,
And, felt, no, DISGRACE;
In Consuming THE MONSTERS, not, MENTIONED!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 76,030 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
When RENFIELD grew tired, of FLIES,
'Twas Time, to give SPIDERS a TRY;
So, JUICY and PLUMP,
It made His Heart PUMP;
At Carfax, DRACULA made His Heart DIE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 76,212 times)
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~ :o ~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
WEREWOLVES LIVES, when treated, RIGHT,
Can LAST, so, LONG, They, seem, INFINITE;
Altho', It may sound, TRITE,
Their POWER is, in the BITE;
So, Avoid The WOODS, on Full-Moon NIGHTS!
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~ :o ~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 76,267 times)
~~ This is Moi Entry # 1999; Moi, Next, is # 2000! ~~
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ :laugh: ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
ANOTHER PALINDROME?! Well, LIGHT MY FIRE!
"How's It Possible, to Have, so, Many?!" I INQUIRE.
In Our CLASSIC MONSTER REALM,
'Tis, akin, to a Famous, Lost, FILM;
"LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT" & LON, SR.'s VAMPIRE!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ :laugh: ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 76,367 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
Be It, ever, so, Humble, there's, no, place, like, HOME,
In, likewise, my Landing, on, yet, Another PALINDROME;
I'm, Here, &, Now, ESPOUSIN'
My UMA Offering, the # 2000;
And, Movin', to ALASKA, so, I can find Me a {G}NOME!
:angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 76,483 times)
:angel: ~~~ ;) ~~ :laugh: ~ :-* ~ :laugh: ~~ ;) ~~~ :angel:
Moi LIMERICK, terse rhyme, with a PUN,
JOHN sang: "Happiness Is A Warm GUN";
One thing is, for, SURE,
'Tis a Mixed-Up METAPHOR;
A "HAI, KU BRICK" SPACE ODDITY, 2001!
:angel: ~~~ ;) ~~ :laugh: ~ :-* ~ :laugh: ~~ ;) ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 76,601 times)
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :'( ~~ ;) ~~ :'( ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
QUASIMODO, just, needed a BREAK,
His too busy Life, he could, not, TAKE;
They called him a CLOWN,
He'd, rather, settle, DOWN;
But, DOM FROLLO was, too, big, a FLAKE!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :'( ~~ ;) ~~ :'( ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 76,846 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ je7u6ker6 ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
There, once, was a Doctor, named JEKYLL,
Who found, Himselves, in, quite, a PICKLE;
Did, Much, Evil, as HYDE,
'Til Killed, He, Up & DIED;
Who knew, that, FATE was, so, FICKLE?!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ je7u6ker6 ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 76,953 times)
>:( ~~~~ >:D ~~~ >:( ~~ :-[ ~~ >:( ~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:(
A "Private Word", about poor HENRY JEKYLL'S,
Skin Condition; Tragic: A Victim, of FRECKLES;
His Vain-Glorious PRIDE,
Got him, stuck, with HYDE;
A Perverse Situation, Sooo, Totally, RECKLESS!
>:( ~~~~ >:D ~~~ >:( ~~ :-[ ~~ >:( ~~~ >:D ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,007 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ :o ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
Scary Transylvanian Cliffs looming, FAST,
Mr. RENFIELD was resigned, to his TASK;
Carriage Driver DISAPPEARS,
Re-doubling, all, of his FEARS;
DRACULA'S Wine; his First Sip was his LAST!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ :o ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Poor Renfield was left craving life
Not his own, though, or that of a good wife
Those fruit smoothies he chugs
are filled with live bugs.
But the rats he still cuts with a knife.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,095 times)
thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~ :-* ~ thrhrt ~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt
Our Brother, CRAZY 1VAN, hath done, It, AGAIN,
His Perfect Pun Placement Created an Ideal END!
With, so, much, INSIGHT,
It gives Me THE FRIGHTS;
I'm Thankful, to call Him: "MY BROTHER & FRIEND"!
thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~ :-* ~ thrhrt ~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Few know it, but in two-thousand eight
the Baron and 1van once met
This may seem to you
just a wolf pack of two
but we've more; they just don't know yet!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,137 times)
:blank: ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~ >:( ~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ :blank:
CRAZY1VAN Returns, ON A ROLL,
His lack, on this Thread, took its TOLL;
He's Fanged and FURRY,
A True Child, of FORRY;
A Limerick BERSERKER, so: "SKOAL!"
:blank: ~~~ ::) ~~ :o ~ >:( ~ :o ~~ ::) ~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Paladin, Paladin where do you roam?
Maybe you were eaten by a big fat gnome?
Post us you're okay
Do so without delay
Or we'll send a scary monster to your home.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,215 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
Wowsers! We've ventured, upon Friday, AGAIN!
BELA Spake: "That is the Law! Are we, not, MEN?!";
It depends, on your TAKE,
Not, how, much, you MAKE;
So, UMA MONSTER-KIDS, have a GREAT WEEKEND!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,342 times)
;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~ :) ~~~ ededed ~~~ :) ~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D
THE MAD DOKTOR made a MONSTER DOG, to play "FETCH!",
&, Intelligent MONSTERS, all, because He liked, to KVETCH;
Then, He puzzled his NOGGIN,
Created "Log-In" & "BLOGGIN'";
Re-named Himself, AL GORE {YGOR?}! Wotta STRETCH!!!
;D ~~~~~ :D ~~~~ :) ~~~ ededed ~~~ :) ~~~~ :D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,435 times)
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym~~~ hmjfym ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
IM-HOTEP gazed, into the MYSTIC POOL,
Intent, on destroying the Love-sick FOOL;
Then, on, to EMBALMIN',
ANKH-ES-EN-AMON;
'Til ISIS' Statue reduced Him, to PASTA FAZOOL!
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym~~~ hmjfym ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,565 times)
:'( ~~~~ :( ~~~ :o ~~ :angel: ~~ :o ~~~ :( ~~~~ :'(
That Linearly-Challenged Lad, QUASIMODO,
Went, through His sad Life, quite, SOLO;
His True Love's REJECTION,
Proved His PERFECTION;
HEROIC, to the End, yet, Dead, as a DODO!
:'( ~~~~ :( ~~~ :o ~~ :angel: ~~ :o ~~~ :( ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,692 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~ >:D ~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
It appears, that, The Good Doctor CRIED,
Upon finding, that, He'd released Mr. HYDE;
A couple, of BEERS,
Some Crocodile TEARS;
Olde London-Town was, in, for One, Wild, RIDE!
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~ >:D ~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,751 times)
ededed FRANKENSTEIN DAY! ededed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Designated, as such, in Honour, of MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT SHELLEY'S Birth-Date.
Born, MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT GODWIN, on August 30th, A.D. 1797, She is
Remembered and Venerated, by MONSTER-KIDS, World-Wide, as the Author,
of the Novel, "FRANKENSTEIN", which she wrote, in A.D. 1818.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
HER MONSTER was FIENDISH, and, SMELLY!
Uncouth Wretch, no Farmer-In-The-Dell, HE!
Yet, He hath SURVIVED,
His Author's & Actors' LIVES;
So, Happy Birthday, # 216, MARY SHELLEY!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,752 times)
:angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel:
Although, I'm, not, a Musician, like, ANDRE PREVIN,
I live, as a HORROR HOST, Who, Hopes, in HEAVEN;
When this Number's, UP,
I shall Fill, up, my CUP;
As an Honest Toast, to UMA READER, Number 77,777!
:angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
She jumped up and started to scream!
I was such a nightmare of a dream.
A moldy old head
Found under the bed
That clashed with her color scheme.
There once was a young lass called Gerty,
Whose language was shockingly dirty.
"Wash her mouth out with soap!
String her up with a rope!"
Cried those with whom she wasn't flirty.
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,777 times)
;) ~~~ :D ~~ ;D ~ :o ~ ;D ~~ :D ~~~ ;)
'Tis ODD, to say, but, Yes!.... It Is ME!
# 77,777 is, neither, HOOK, nor, SMEE;
Hope, I don't come, under FIRE,
For my too-slovenly ATTIRE;
'Tis FOUR A.M., and, I'm, in my BVDS!
;) ~~~ :D ~~ ;D ~ :o ~ ;D ~~ :D ~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
At first I thought it very neat.
You followed me across the street.
I went about my chore.
You peering thru the door.
Meowing for an extra treat
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,820 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
DR. FRANKENSTEIN, really, loved his WORK,
Why, he considered LABOR DAY, as a PERK;
He saw his Work THRIVE,
He screamed: "It's ALIVE!"
His Work sighed: "I'm ALIVE, but, you're a JERK!"
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The old vampire sighed in his tomb,
Because the place didn't have enough room!
He considered renting a loft,
But the rent rates made him cough.
New he thinks his digs are "snug as the womb."
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4
I really don't want to be mean.
But I look forward to Halloween.
I'll put you in the stocks.
And toss away the locks.
Racing away from the crime scene.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,897 times)
:) ~~~~ :) ~~~ :) ~~ :-* ~~ :) ~~~ :) ~~~~ :)
THE LIMERICKS are Flowin', Hot 'n' HEAVY,
They Threaten, to Burst, Our Sanity's LEVEE;
Yet, I have Zero QUALMS,
About using "A" BOMBS;
I.E.: "A Group", o' Beautiful Girls, is "A BEVY"!
:) ~~~~ :) ~~~ :) ~~ :-* ~~ :) ~~~ :) ~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Once you are back into schools,
And it's time to follow the rules.
It isn't a quirk
So do all your work
And your teachers won't turn into ghouls
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 77,951 times)
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~ :o ~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
There, once, was a WEREWOLF, named MURRAY,
Who committed his Carnivorous Acts, in a HURRY;
'Ere the Full Moon AROSE,
He was, ahead, by a NOSE;
& Done, with the Body... 'twarn't, much, to BURY!
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~ :o ~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I was woken by an awful howl.
Perhaps a werewolf on the prowl?
Just then shadows fell,
A really noisome smell,
Something supernaturally foul.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE Clan were Vile ENSLAVERS,
Used their Victims, like, PARTY-FAVORS;
Drank, all, of their BLOOD,
Hid remains, in the MUD;
Proving, They were, also, EN-GRAVERS!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,128 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ :'( ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER, carefully, tried, to RECLINE,
It caused Excruciating PAIN, in His SPINE;
"It's, so, hard, to lean, BACK,
When your Bones, all, CRACK!"
One, more, Trial, to afflict FRANKENSTEIN!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ :'( ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A black cat went over for a chat,
But was told by the mental to SCAT
And he was hooked
The white cat looked
As the black one turned into a bat
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,217 times)
:laugh: ~~~~ :D ~~~ :) ~~ :-* ~~ :) ~~~ :D ~~~~ :laugh:
I LIMERICK, out, of LOVE, and, not, PITY,
For, one, good, Laugh, or, Smile, ITTY-BITTY;
Sometimes, I'm BRAZEN,
Like, The Dancing RAISINS;
With a Rich INNER-LIFE, like, WALTER MITTY!
:laugh: ~~~~ :D ~~~ :) ~~ :-* ~~ :) ~~~ :D ~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,316 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
LON CHANEY, SR., did a lot, in His 1920'S SWAY,
He advised BORIS KARLOFF, Well, so, They SAY;
BORIS gave BELA LUGOSI, a RUN,
Yet, 'twas LON, SR.'S, Only SON;
Crowned King, o' the '40's MONSTERS, His WAY!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,361 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS were caught, IN-BETWEEN,
That Rock and that Hard Place, SO, MEAN;
"We might, not, THRIVE,
Yet, We shall SURVIVE;
To Inhabit, Our, One, Night, of HALLOWEEN!"
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,407 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
TYRANNOSAURUS REX was, so, MORTIFIED,
With Him, it wasn't, really, a Matter, of PRIDE;
In His Stone PETRI-DISH,
Out, of WATER, like, a FISH;
An Animal, Vegetating, In Mineral, FORTIFIED!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It seems that there is quite the crowd
Viewing the mad thing in the shroud
As I can now tell
It let out a yell
Why does it have to be so damn loud?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,450 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE MUMMY suffered, from TOURETTES,
&, He, often, spoke things, He'd REGRET;
Unaware, of the PRICE,
For being, not, very, NICE;
He was tossed, off, of the High PARAPET!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,492 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
There was a Strange GHOST, named, SPOOK,
Who, incoherently, spoke GOOBLE-DE-GOOK;
If you can TRANSLATE,
What He, just, said, MATE;
Then, YOU must be Some Kind, Of A KOOK!
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I can't stay now, I have to go.
But there is something you have to know.
That thing that hops
And never stops.
Will eat you and spit out your toe.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,525 times)
"There are Two Means, of Refuge, from the Miseries, of Life: Music and Cats"... ALBERT SCHWEITZER
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
SCHWEITZER Waxed, Poetic, about "MUSIC and CATS",
DRACULA Romanticized, {WERE}WOLVES and BATS;
W.O.L.*, by ZEVON and HULL,
"AQUALUNG", by JETHRO TULL;
RENFIELD'S Appetite, to Devour: "RATS! RATS! RATS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
* Foot-Notes *
~~~~~~~~~~~~
* W.O.L. = WEREWOLVES OF LONDON + THE WEREWOLF OF LONDON
"He'll rip your LUNGS, Out, JIM!" from WARREN ZEVON'S "W.O.L."
"AQUALUNG" JETHRO TULL "Feeling like a Dead Duck, spitting out pieces of his broken luck"
I don't know how to dress for Halloween.
A gypsy banging a tambourine?
I could be a skunk
And put out some funk
Or mix it up as the Wolverine.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,593 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Alien ~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused
If Thou dost knowest, what, I MEANETH,
Beware, Beware, o' FRIDAY, THIRTEENTH;
This Day, reportedly, UNLUCKY,
Yet, by Comparison, DUCKY;
To ye Hideous Day, o' 30, THE FRIGHTEENTH!
Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Alien ~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Not sure who wrote the verse, but I believe the illustration is by Edward Gorey (who may have written the verse).
(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y272/dancziraky/IMG_9498244356533_zps173c254e.jpg)
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,715 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
A Charming, Spooky, Limerick, added, by COUNT ZIROCK,
'Struth, I love it, unabashedly; Please, freely, join our TALK;
'Twas a Perfect ADDITION,
So, here's Moi CONFESSION;
As The Kids, all, say, Today: "COUNT ZIROCK, YOU ROCK!"
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The baron's praise is far too kind.
I didn't write it, 'twas a 'net find!
By most unusual means,
These infernal machines,
Can actually broaden the mind!
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4
Once upon a midnight dreary,
While feasting on some Frankenberry,
A raven flew in through my door
And pooped upon my kitchen floor!
Quoth the raven: "T'was dysentery!"
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4
There once was a man with a flare,
Of sniffing out Fall in the air.
It was all in his nose
Or down to this toes.
They say it started with a dare.
I really don't know why you insist
My sending you the bloody old list.
It's more than a quirk.
It just doesn't work,
Maybe I should just slash my wrist.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,838 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Ye Locals began casting horrid ASPERSIONS,
When VLAD DRACUL became a SURGEON;
They were, All, BETTING,
He Degreed, in "BLOOD-LETTING";
Ye Locals went Loco, in DRAC'S Castle DUNGEON!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I don't want to do you any harm
But you really must get off my arm.
It's no good to purr
I'd rather you stir
Or you go live with Bud on the farm.
Edward Gorey could tell a story
With rhymes and drawings oh-so gory!
His black and white hued inks,
Were illustrative links,
To tales that made some parents worry!
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4
There once was a nasty old witch
Who practiced the old bait and switch
She would take high bids
And sell little kids
You never knew which one she'd pitch
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,888 times)
>:D ~~~ :blank: ~~ :angel: ~ Zombie Shocked ~ :angel: ~~ :blank: ~~~ >:D
I have an uneasy Fear, I must SAY,
Page 164 is, soon, going, AWAY;
This HAIRY, Olde, THREAD,
Can Raise THE UNDEAD;
And, Then, there'll be Hell TOUPEE!
>:D ~~~ :blank: ~~ :angel: ~ Zombie Shocked ~ :angel: ~~ :blank: ~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
On the night of the harvest moon
I heard eerie cries of a loon
Came dancing a bumpkin
His head was a pumpkiin
I didn't stop running till noon
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 78,928 times)
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
THE ZOMBIES amassed, into a HORDE,
Sans Reason, They were, quite, BORED;
Their, Only, DREAD,
Was losing Their HEAD;
Which occurred, as They ran, into MORD!
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The lunatic does evil roar
Nonsense screamed at my front door
Everyone does now hear
Raving from so much beer
Madness and anger, such a bore
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 79,041 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ thrhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
Scary SCARECROWS, made, by a HAY BAILER;
Supernatural VILLAINS, Who, Won't FAIL YAH;
They're "Called, Up", EVERLASTING,
From Dear, Olde, CENTRAL CASTING;
But, if You need a Real STAR... Say: "HEY, BELA!"
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ thrhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Do not look at me with such dread.
You can keep your silly old head.
Not on your shoulders,
Balanced like boulders.
A pumpkin will perch there instead.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 79,173 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
THE FAMOUS MONSTERS were, out, for some FUN,
When COUNT DRACULA tried, to make, up, a PUN;
"If you vant, to get SICK,
Read The Baron's LIMERICK!"
So, I "introduced" Ol' DRAC, to RAY...S, of The SUN!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Apparently, this was printed in an anatomy textbook!
(http://fbtrouble.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/textbook-fails-testes.jpg)
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4
Where are zombies when you need them?
Downtown eating someone's brain stem?
So pull out all stops
And call out the cops
Be careful not to step in the phlegm.
Baron Frankenstein had a revelation:
For his Creature's birthday, he'd have a celebration!
The invitations were all sent,
A grand hall he did rent,
But the guests were all scheduled for cremation!
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 4
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 79,253 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool
Vile ZOMBIES killed The MONSTER, SPA-MA-GAR-ROO,
Whilst He was distracted, They cut Him, IN TWO;
They et Him, like, SUSHI,
Passed Him, in the BUSHES;
The Feces made POMADE, which They call: "SPAM-POO"!
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As you sllther, a snake on wet grass
It's obvious you have no class
No need for pouting
It's not an outing
Just a warning to stop your trespass
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 79,334 times)
:o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o
I REVEAL THE OCCASIONAL VEXATION,
OF, SO-CALLED, LIMERICK LIBERATION;
PROOF, THAT, MY BRAIN,
UNCONTAINED, IS INSANE;
OR, A VICTIM, OF MENTAL CONSTIPATION!
:o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o
OBSERVE:
{ Last Line Options: Chose ONE... or, More! }
:o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o
Go, Ahead, Sit, There, And, POUT,
September, again, is, on it's way, OUT;
Yet, OCTOBER will BRING,
Fav'rite Holiday BLING;
A} So, Prepare a Costume, you Lazy LOUT!
B} The One, for which MONSTER-KIDS SHOUT!
C} Your Costume, strangely, Resembles a TROUT!
D} When Lighted Pumpkins will assail Thy SNOUT!
E} Whose Weight, will destroy Thy Floors' GROUT!
F} As a CLASSIC MONSTER, Get, Out, and, ABOUT!
G} So, Go, and, PRETEND, You've Got CLOUT!
H} And, REMEMBER: LIFE, Is, Not, A TRY-OUT!
:o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o ~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 79,440 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ hmjfym ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
I was Attacked, and, EATEN, by a ZOMBIE,
In His GUT, I Yelled: "I Want My MOMMY!"
My Mind's playing TRICKS,
So Few Things, Now, STICK;
For Example: "Who might HERBERT LOM BE?!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ hmjfym ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I wonder if Vampires ever reflect.
On lives they take without respect.
Blood lust does it cease?
Or they find some peace?
Mindful of ones they didn't select.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 79,775 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I wonder, too, do VAMPIRES, Ever, CONNECT,
To the Lives, that, They ruin, in every ASPECT?
BLOOD-LUST: must it, ever, INCREASE?
Or, do Dinner-Theatre, like, Roles, in "GREASE"?
For Mouthfuls, of DINERS, Who Taste, PEREFECT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
On this subject I'll carefully thread
One can not hope to retrieve the dead
The powers I lack
To bring you all back
Are at best left to remain unsaid
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 79,890 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA made a New BRIDE,
One, He could show, off, with PRIDE;
She was a "REAL LOOKER",
With a sad past, as a HOOKER;
But, when She got STAKED, He CRIED.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 79,950 times)
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-X ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
THE CREATURE was, in a CARTOON,
Wherein, He appeared a BUFFOON;
Adding a Bizarre TWIST,
Tattooed, 'pon His WRIST;
Was ALICE, THE GOON, From The MOON!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-X ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 80,114 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ hmjfym ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
Van HELSING sought, to Destroy DRACULA,
Who was THE CLASSIC MONSTER OUTLAW;
Not, the least, bit, CRABBY,
He invaded CARFAX ABBY;
With a Stake, Impaled That UNDEAD MONSTA!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ hmjfym ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 80,230 times)
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie Shocked ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
Bean-Eating GHOSTS, from THE HAUNTED CHASM,
Thrilled and GAS-FILLED, produced Violent SPASMS;
Now, Lighter, than AIR,
They did it, with FLAIR;
They Released a Hideous FOG, of Y-Y-YECHTOPLASM!!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie Shocked ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
When searching for Halloween candy
I spied a treat that looked so dandy.
Something was screwy,
My hand is gooey.
Will someone please pass me a brandy?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 80,423 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Now, sadly, We Leaveth ye current WEEK-ENDE,
To, Orderly, Commenceth, ye New Week, AGAIN;
Still, IT Draweth, CLOSER,
Like, BELA LUGOS, SIR;
ALL-HALLOW'S-E'EN, Doth Returneth, My FRIEND!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 80,577 times)
:angel:~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~ thrhrt ~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
"EVERYBODY'S TALKING", 'bout HARRY NILSSON,
His SON, OF DRACULA, an Album, most, THRILLIN';
With LENNON, He'd SAY:
"Let's 'DUIT ON MON DEI'";
STARR-ING RINGO.... 'Twas a ROCK'N'ROLL KILLIN'!
:angel:~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~ thrhrt ~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Dieu et mon droit (God and my right)
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S1B0VrcnySo/TpY9rD7_s2I/AAAAAAAAAag/fx48JvcwEgs/s1600/Halloween%2528good%2529.jpg)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 80,704 times)
:o ~~~ :-X ~~ :'( ~ :blank: ~ :'( ~~ :-X ~~~ :o
Bedraggled, from the SPIKES, of FU,
"Many man smoke, but, FU MANCHU!"
On HALLOWEEN NIGHT,
FU gave me a FRIGHT;
'Tis, why, I won't Quaff ASIAN BREW!
:o ~~~ :-X ~~ :'( ~ :blank: ~ :'( ~~ :-X ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 80,818 times)
:o ~~~~ ???~~~ ::) ~~ ;D ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
I was attacked, by a GIANT PORTABELLA,
Whilst traipsing, around Jefferson's MONTICELLO;
Now, IT'S, just, HOBBLIN',
Like, Soupy Sales' GOBLIN;
Proving, that: "There's, always, Room, for JELLO!"
:o ~~~~ ???~~~ ::) ~~ ;D ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 80,930 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HAPPY 73rd BIRTH-DAY, JOHN LENNON. R.I.P., EVERNOW!
;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :) ~~ :-* ~~ :) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D
Seventy-Three years, ago, YESTERDAY,
"All, our troubles seemed, so, far, AWAY";
A Special Baby was BORN,
Took this world, by STORM;
JOHNNY LENNON, what, more, can I SAY?!
;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :) ~~ :-* ~~ :) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,005 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA had searched, High, and, LOW,
For That Special BRIDE, Everyone would KNOW;
He, suggestively, QUIPPED,
"Ve'll share de same CRYPT";
Nice, to know: "There's, Always, Room, For J'LO"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,071 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
IM-HOTEP was, neither, a Schlep, nor, a DUMMY,
A Pretense, of LIFE, Hid His LIE, as a MUMMY;
In His Guise, as ARDATH BEY,
He could, go, after His PREY;
'Til HELEN & ISIS became a wee bit, too, CHUMMY!
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,153 times)
:o ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o
I pick, up, THIS THREAD, and, then, SOW,
New LIMERICKS, by which We may GROW;
Don't Ya Aim STONES,
At My FUNNY-BONES;
Lest, the Ricochet Kill a Passing-By CROW!
:o ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,271 times)
thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Cool ~ tynhrt ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ thrhrt
Inter-Breeding ZOMBIES and CLONES,
Is, enough, to make ET "PHONE HOME!"
It's, down, to the WIRE,
A ZOMBIE-VAMPIRE;
To eat Macaulay Culkin, in "HOME ALONE"!
thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Cool ~ tynhrt ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,400 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ;D ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN received a NEW BRAIN,
Post-Op, Yelled: "Remember The MAINE!"
Now, a bit, more, SVELTE,
Than TEDDY ROOSEVELT;
At least, He didn't DIE, of PTOMAINE!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ;D ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,470 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie In Luv ~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv
The Baby-Doll ZOMBIE was, oh, so, CUTE,
So, Adorable, that, none, would DISPUTE;
No Mommy could RESIST,
Her "Innocent" KISS;
Then, a Bite would New ZOMBIES RECRUIT!
Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie In Luv ~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,541 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE CREATURE went, into SHOCK;
After Eating a Mutant HADDOCK;
"I'm, sure, I'll change, TOO,
It feels, like, I'll ACCRUE;
Intense Cravings, for Igneous ROCK!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,632 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
That GHOST, of Olde SPAIN, FOUNTANBLEU,
Would Appear, Instantly, And, Say: "BOO!"
He'd Wear A Long, Scary, FACE,
Then, GONE!, Leaving No "TRES";
But, YOU would Provide, BOTH, ONE And TWO!
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,738 times)
tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ hmjfym ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt
UMA TROOPS enter, deeply, into FALL,
THE MONSTERS sound Their ROLL-CALL;
To prepare Ways & MEANS,
For ALL-HALLOW'S-E'EN;
And, THEIR ANNUAL MONSTERS' BALL!
tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ hmjfym ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,818 times)
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
I like it, when Numbers are ROUND,
They make, such, a Loverly SOUND;
I say, Olde BEANE,
'Tis 81,818;
How, much, is That, by the POUND?
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,917 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA keeps adding, more, WIVES,
Somehow, He, seems, to THRIVE;
"I turned a, bit, GREENER,
After losing Miss MINA;
I, now, avoid Van HELSING'S Usual DIVES."
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,955 times)
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o
A PIE, IN THE FACE, is Known, as SPLATTER,
Between 2 Clowns, the Former & the LATTER;
Throw Leaves, into the AIR,
&, they come, down, WHERE?
On my note, which reads: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCATTER!"
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 81,971 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
I received a Charming Note, from far-off CATHAY,
From DR. LAO, with Sentiments, on DISPLAY;
"My dear, olde, Friend, TIM,
It is my Glorious WHIM;
That, my Circus and I wish You a HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 82,018 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel:
I've found The One, for LIFE, that's BEST,
She's taken TIME, &, made, It, BLESSED;
The Endless LOVE, She POURS,
Into My HEART; Now, Year FOUR;
The One, for Whom, I waited 61 Years: BETH!
:angel: ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Baron :)
I'm sending you these BIRTHDAY greetings,
Although belated, they are chocked full of sweet things!
Like big hugs and good wishes,
and ice cream in dishes!
AND a celebration fit for a KING!
:) :) :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dear Baron Tim!
May your glass be filled to the brim!
You are MY favorite BARON,
'cause you're so kind and carin',
and your limericks are sure full of vim!
forgive me for limerick-ing all over the place! But I must shout it once more- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! :)
Happy Birthday Herr Baron!!
Happy Birthday! Sorry that I missed it.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 82,330 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
;) MY SPECIAL THANKS, TO CHARP, SCATTER & FLOWER! ;)
:angel: ~~~~~ :) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :angel:
Your Splendid BIRTHDAY Greetings! Much DELIGHT!
BETH & I have been, away, several Days & NIGHTS;
Moi Birthday was CURSORY,
Then, Our 4th ANNIVERSARY;
WEDDED BLISS, Full, o' Mosasaur Fossils & TRILOBITES!
:angel: ~~~~~ :) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, TO ALL!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 82,530 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
That Day, again, We think is, so, KEEN,
As MONSTER-KIDS, to vent Our SPLEEN;
Our chance, to get COZY,
With BELA LUGOSI;
Our NATIONAL HOLIDAY: HALLOWEEN!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Oh Baron, I see that you know,
We Halloween-ers are ready to go!
Our props are all set
and there's candy to get
So let's do this- ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN and GOOD LUCK TOMORROW NIGHT TO ALL MY FELLOW YARD HAUNTERS!!! {^_^}
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 82,676 times)
:angel: ~~~ :o ~~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ :o ~~~ :angel:
'Tis Ye NIGHT, o' SPECTRES AND SPOOKS,
When YE can Dress-Up, &, Not, Be A KOOK;
Whilst Collecting CANDY,
Is, All, Fine, &, DANDY;
E'en, BETTER, are Ye Kiddies Terrified LOOKS!
:angel: ~~~ :o ~~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ :o ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 82,797 times)
:blank: ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :o ~ Zombie Razz ~ :o ~~ tynhrt ~~~ :blank:
I hope, that, You, All, had GREAT FUN,
Absent, o' Poisoned Apples, to SHUN;
I Trust, You did COPE,
Being COOL {sans DOPE};
"Stone-Cold", if, You'll Pardon Moi PUN!
:blank: ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :o ~ Zombie Razz ~ :o ~~ tynhrt ~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 82,885 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOW, a WORD, from THE FALL-BACK, OF NOTRE DAME!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :-* ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE LONE RANGER is HOME, ON THE RANGE,
THE CAT PEOPLE suffer, from THE MANGE;
DR. WHO says: "IT'S SUBLIME",
To TRAVEL, BACK, IN TIME;
TONIGHT, UMA, is The Autumnal TIME CHANGE!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :-* ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 82,962 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
Autumn winds are blowing, much, COLDER,
Winter's challenges are growing, BOLDER;
The Days, now, grow, SHORTER,
The Weather, Oh, A Real RIP-SNORTER;
As BABY NEW YEAR grows, so, much, OLDER!
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,085 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool
There, once, was a ZOMBIE TURKEY,
'Tho', Stuffed, became, rather, PERKY;
It's Hunger INCREASED,
It RUINED the FEAST;
Consuming the Guests, like, BEEF-JERKY!
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,172 times)
hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~ thrhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym
I remember Me Olde MUMMY & PA,
They were The Very SOUL, of KA;
Long hours, as a MUMMY,
Playing GIN RUMMY;
With My Nearest, of KIN, DRACULA!
hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~ thrhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,203 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Winds, of NOVEMBER, Blow, COLD,
Like, VAMPIRES, Attacking, so, BOLD;
When All's Done and SAID,
Like, The Immortal UNDEAD;
On some Nights, I'm feeling, quite, OLDE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,283 times)
Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie Blush ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Blush ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie Mad
The Trees take, on, a SKELETAL FORM,
In Late Autumn, THIS is THE NORM;
Whipping, to & fro, in the WIND,
The CHILL begins, to SET, IN;
Like, ZOMBIES Invading Moi DORM!
Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie Blush ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Blush ~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
My life hasn't been so swell.
I've been sent to Vista hell.
I do really hate,
My new windows eight.
So I'm under an evil spell.
I'm really not getting any joy,
My new computer is set to annoy,
I can not right click,
Does it give a lick?
That this is a tool, not a toy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,383 times)
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
Read 83 thousand, 3 hundred & 83 TIMES,
Our Limericks are reaching Heights, SUBLIME;
I don't mean, to BOAST,
&, henceforth, won't COAST;
'Tis an evil world, &, these, too, are CRIMES!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I woke early this morning
As the light was first dawning
A nightmare did scare
But what did I care?
I needed to start my yawning
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,480 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~ ededed ~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
Soon, Our Limerick Page hits # One-Hundred, SIXTY NINE,
If it makes you Squeal, why, then, we're "KILLING SWINE";
That point may be MOOT,
You're an Owl, if you HOOT;
If you scream: "It's Alive!", then, you're DOC FRANKENSTEIN!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~ ededed ~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,559 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA says: "I, never, Drink... WINE."
The COUNT avoids Stakes, of Holly, Ash, or, PINE;
VLAD, always, Gives THANKS,
For "Snacks", at BLOOD-BANKS;
& Tries, to put WILBUR'S Brain, into FRANKENSTEIN!
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,623 times)
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
THE WOLF-MAN issued a HOWL,
Sounding, like, a constipated OWL;
'Twas, not, UNRELATED,
To being, "REGULATED";
The Pain, of an Irritable BOWEL!
:o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,683 times)
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ ;) ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
THE VAMPIRE TURKEYS RUN, WILD,
Only, to end, up, on Sandwiches, PILED;
Where They, go, for the THROAT,
Like, SWALLOWS, REMOTE;
Thusly, Making Their DINERS, DEFILED!
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ ;) ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,735 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ :o ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
THE CLASSIC MONSTERS gather, for THANKSGIVING,
As THEY try, to emulate the Holidays, of THE LIVING;
All, Blood, is DRACULA'S PART,
WOLF-MAN devours THE HEART;
FRANKENSTEIN keeps the Breast, for, Later, GIVING.
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ :o ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,761 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
WEIRD ALIENS emerged, from the MINE,
Their Search, was, for a Suitable SPINE;
"We don't need A WIFE,
In Order, to Create LIFE;
We know this, from watching 'FRANKENSTEIN'!"
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,835 times)
:) ~~~~ :D ~~~ :laugh: ~~ ;D ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :D ~~~~ :)
ELIZABETH put the "BATH", in BATHORY,
DR. ACULA'S Puns put the "FORE!", in FORRY;
As Our Stories UNFOLD,
Like They're FORETOLD;
E'en, BORIS Confessed, to driving a "LORRY".
:) ~~~~ :D ~~~ :laugh: ~~ ;D ~~ :laugh: ~~~ :D ~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,838 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :-* ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
OH, NO! Another PERFECT PALINDROME!
83,838 TIMES, ye Reads, Come, HOME;
Yes, I Am A WERE...
And, Told, Quite, RARE;
Full, O' Fangs, Claws, and, Hair, I ROAM!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :-* ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 83,928 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
ERIK was a PHANTOM, of Terrifying RENOWN,
PARISIANS, at His name, Fearfully, FROWNED;
ERIK, Truly, UNDERSTOOD,
So, to Lighten The MOOD;
Instead, of THE RED DEATH, He CLOWNED!
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 84,007 times)
QUASIMODO danced, about, like, a Child's TOY,
When ESMERALDA, finally, said: "You're my BOY!"
He yearned, to take her, AWAY,
But, Gallows, for her, did SWAY;
So, the CATACOMBS Swallowed, up, all, their JOY!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 84,181 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :'(
The Poor CREATURE was caught, in an Bizarre SITUATION,
Surgically, becoming a "MAN", a Strange, LAND-ABBERATION;
Wishing, for a Woman, to SPOON,
Lovingly, in His Safe LAGOON;
Knowing, It, Doubtful, to happen, filled Him, with FRUSTRATION!
:'( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 84,428 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ :o ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool
ALIEN INVADERS, from OUTER SPACE,
Consider our HUMAN RACE, a DISGRACE;
"Would INTELLIGENT LIFE,
Create a BARNEY FIFE?!"
"Answer, Now, or, WE'LL EAT YOUR FACE!"
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ :o ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 84,613 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ Zombie Shocked ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
We've taken a WHOLE LOT, of CRAPOLA,
By mixing Un-Dead Ashes, with a SCAPULA;
Next, We Added Fresh BLOOD,
It makes, MORE, than MUD;
If Fact, IT RESURRECTS COUNT DRACULA!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ Zombie Shocked ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 84,714 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
Their Drumsticks were running, or, TRYING,
Desperate Wings were intent, upon FLYING,
Without Sharp Fangs, to BARE,
"Gobble-Gobble" didn't SCARE;
Their Final Act was caught, up, in FRYING!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 84,793 times)
;) ~~~ :) ~~ :D ~ ;D ~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~~ :angel:
This Thursday, we put, on DISPLAY,
A poor BIRD, with, no, Shades, of GRAY;
It's Dark, or, It's WHITE,
In Its Meat, that, We BITE;
Tangible Proof, of Our National HOLIDAY!
;) ~~~ :) ~~ :D ~ ;D ~ :laugh: ~~ :-* ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 84,840 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :-* ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
Nearly A PALINDROME, so, I make this WARNING,
Read Number 84,848 is, very, soon, A-BORNING;
Aye, It might be TONIGHT,
But, if, that's, not, RIGHT;
Then, most, likely, 'twill occur, in the MORNING!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :-* ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It was something about this fog,
A Memory started to jog.
I knew I should run
And pick up my gun.
Instead I jumped into the bog.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 84,891 times)
HAPPY THANKS-GIVING, UMA!!!
8) ~~~ 8) ~~ 8) ~ ;) ~ 8) ~~ 8) ~~~ 8)
THE TURKEYS went, into REVOLT,
Thinking, that, Humans were DOLTS;
Their Plot, 'tho', GREGARIOUS,
Proved, most, PRECARIOUS;
We FRIED 'Em, with 1 MILLION VOLTS!
8) ~~~ 8) ~~ 8) ~ ;) ~ 8) ~~ 8) ~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,020 times)
ededed HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYS, TO THE KARLOFF FAMILY! ededed
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
NOVEMBER 23rd, to Us, One, Very, Special, DAY,
When TWO, o' Our Favourite Souls, came, to PLAY;
BORIS and SARAH JANE,
He has left; She REMAINS;
FATHER And DAUGHTER, Great Blessings, I PRAY!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,085 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
That Thanks-Giving Snow set the Air, A-CHILL,
Wintery Season, Ahead, demands an IRON WILL;
Celebrations, Abound, with MIRTH,
Near Year's-End, a Joyous BIRTH;
Wreathes and Feasts, Snow-Time, We, Gladly, KILL!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,120 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA was planning an Lightning INVASION,
To be rid, of the current Leaders, ruling His NATION;
"Once, the Hungarian EMPIRE,
Now, I'm a Romanian VAMPIRE;
But, I'm Its Major Income, and, I'm a TRANSYLVANIAN!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I really hate going to the store.
I find it to be such a big bore.
No Zombies or brains,
The people insane.
I raced a werewolf out the door.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,172 times)
:o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ??? ~~ ::) ~~ ??? ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o
I despise BLACK FRIDAY, as WELL,
People running, Madly, about, PELL-MELL;
It took, All, of My POWER,
To out-run Our FLOWER;
We, Both, passed, up, Bargains, GALORE!
:o ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ??? ~~ ::) ~~ ??? ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,225 times)
;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;)
Whene'er I log, on, My COMPUTER,
My Cat, ABBY, insists, that, I PET HER;
She makes it Her QUEST,
To be My BUDDHA-PEST;
Yet, It Calms Us, Both, so, I LET HER!
;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,293 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
'Twas Five months, ago, just, YESTERDAY,
So many Good Thoughts, by Friends, WHO PRAY;
The Scenario's Potential was "WORST",
Because, My Olde APPENDIX, BURST;
I THANK GOD, for My FANG-MILY, at THE UMA!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,370 times)
:blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank:
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN needed GLASSES,
To continue His job, slaughtering the MASSES;
His OCULIST had, to DEFAULT,
He wasn't Adept, at THE OCCULT;
Trained, in the Corporeal, not, Spooky GASES!
:blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,448 times)
PRAYERS, For SAFETY'S BLESSINGS, Upon, ALL, o' Our UMA FANG-MILY!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
TONIGHT, Winter's Vengeance shalt ARRIVE,
Such Dire Reports, Difficult, to CONTRIVE;
Wild Winds, o' Winter, doth BLOW,
Ushering, in, Tons, o' Ice & SNOW;
DR. FRANKENSTEIN Spake, Correctly: "IT'S ALIVE!"
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,458 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
PALINDROMES, just, Keep, on, A-COMMIN'
E'en, whilst Christmas Carols, I'm HUMMIN';
85,458 TIMES,
Akin, to Holiday CHIMES;
"It Rings A Bell"... So, I go, A-SLUMMIN'!
:angel: ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,555 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
ST. NICHOLAS DAY, passed, on the 6th, of DECEMBER,
A True Present, by which, one, may "UNENCUMBER";
Of SANTA CLAUS, He is the START,
Due, to His Greatness, of HEART;
A Glorious Saint, whom, I shall, always, REMEMBER!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,617 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
Our, Sad, Annual, Remembrance, o' Yesterday's DATE,
December 7th, A.D. 1941, When Destiny met FATE;
"Which will live, in INFAMY",
Proof, of hate's INSANITY;
Plant Seeds, o' Heaven's Peace; 'tis, ne'er, too, LATE!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,685 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE Clan exchanged GIFTS,
In an attempt, to heal olde RIFTS;
"Under Mistletoe, PUCKER,
And, Kiss, a BLOOD-SUCKER;
You'll know, We are, no, longer, MIFFED!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,758 times)
PALINDROME ALERT!!!
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~ :o ~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLVES went, out, CAROLING,
To see, what, Their efforts would BRING;
The Vocals, They HONED,
Sounded, like, "HOME ALONE";
I Loved THE WOLF MAN'S Imitation, of BING!
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~ :o ~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,825 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
There, once, was a WITCH, from Olde SALEM,
Who made Magic Potions, then, MAILED 'EM;
The Postage was CHEAP,
The Postman would CREEP;
Then, He turned, into a Snake, &, INHALED 'EM!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,870 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA knew "THE BARD, OF AVON",
As He "lived, on", long, after WILL was GONE;
"I gave My BRIDE a BONNET,
Made, of WILL'S SONNETS;
Which, I, later, found, out, She did PAWN."
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,910 times)
:o ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :-[ ~~ hmjfym ~~ :-[ ~~~ >:( ~~~~ :o
Mummified KHARIS was stumbling, ALONG,
His Aching Brain repeating an endless SONG;
His marching kept TIME,
As, Stuck, in his MIND;
Was MAX STEINER'S Score, for KING KONG!
:o ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :-[ ~~ hmjfym ~~ :-[ ~~~ >:( ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,940 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA and His BRIDES had decided, to RAID,
"The Easy Pickings", of a CHRISTMAS PARADE;
That Impulse, Too, HEADY,
The Paraders were READY;
Impaling the VAMPIRES, 'til, All, were, quite, DEAD!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 85,967 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ :angel: ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
I have been, THEM, whether, Short, or, TALL,
THE CLASSIC MONSTERS, Great and SMALL;
Yet, in THE SEA, OF FANTA,
Boris and Bela dressed, as SANTA;
'Tis, Now, My Turn, WHITE BEARD and ALL!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ :angel: ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I heard, "Let it Snow!, Let it Snow"
Looked out and saw a strange white glow.
White flakes did drop.
When will it stop?
I think that my car needs a tow.
Here's one I had though up yesterday its a bit rough but what the heck....
A starving vampire from the Baltics...
Bit a buxom young lady on her big t*ts......
From his mouth blood did trickle.....
From her breast he just nibbled.....
I'm sure now she'll need a bandaid and salt drip
Did you take out your new shovel
Just to bury my old hovel?
Are you stupid, MAN!
I belong to a klan.
Complete the rest of the puzzle.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 86,018 times)
ededed ~~~~ :o ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed
The Week-End has passed, DONE, AGAIN,
I am Reminded, of My Olde & Dear FRIEND;
I echo His CHORUS:
He "Worked, with BORIS";
Our Child-Star, named, DONNIE DUNAGAN!
ededed ~~~~ :o ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 86,063 times)
;) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;)
RED & GREEN; CHRISTMAS Colours we CHOOSE,
For Many, a Sad Time, of Year; Read the NEWS;
We grow, ever, CLOSER,
Any MONSTERS? NO, SIR!
Just, "TUESDAY AFTERNOON", by THE MOODY BLUES.
;) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 86,105 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
THE FAMOUS MONSTERS were becoming TIRED,
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT, They hoped, to "ACQUIRE";
By the Fire-place, They WAITED,
With MILK & COOKIES, BAITED;
But, the SUN Arose, so, They, To Their Lairs, RETIRED.
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 86,135 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
THE MUMMIES were exchanging HOLIDAY PRESENTS,
From Embalmed Crocodiles, to Petrified PHEASANTS;
Some mixed The GENRE,
With Statues, of AMUN-RA,
And, Weird, Autographed, Pics, of DONALD PLEASENCE!
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A winter wonderland is upon us again
Let's rejoice outside with some friends
While eating snow cones that were oh so mello
I noticed the snow that was gathered was yellow
So now I am sick in the den
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 86,222 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
QUASIMODO was garbed, in Festive ATTIRE,
ESMERALDA sat, comfortably, by their FIRE;
The Carols were SUNG,
The Holly Wreaths, HUNG;
"Joyeux Noël" sung, to, All, by The CHOIR!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 86,333 times)
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o
ISIS: OSIRIS' Wife, was, also, The Mistress, Of MAGIC,
OSIRIS: Farmer-God, Ruled The Underworld, sadly, TRAGIC;
Their SKY-GOD SON was HORUS,
Knew IM-HOTEP {a.k.a., BORIS};
KING TUT, hung, out, with a NUT, but, was, not, ALLERGIC!
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 86,625 times)
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ :-[ ~~ :P ~~ :-[ ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
Fer Lunch, I et me sum Corn an' TAMATERS,
Then, got chased, by sum Big ALLIGATORS;
I hunts sum Big GAME,
But, ended, up, LAME;
I puts, all, the Blame, on them Dum TAILGATERS!
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ :-[ ~~ :P ~~ :-[ ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 86,900 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
TONIGHT is, again, CHRISTMAS EVE,
Great, for Kids, of all ages, Who BELIEVE;
It is, more, about JOY,
Than owning new TOYS;
A LIFE, Beyond, what, most, can CONCEIVE.
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 87,212 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
This Olde World was Dark, and, FORLORN,
Its Peoples, in Sadness, didst MOURN;
Then, by Supernal LIGHT,
LOVE Banished the NIGHT;
'Tis Ye Reason, We Love CHRISTMAS MORN!
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It's that MAGICAL time of the year,
When I think of my Monster friends, dear.
I Hope you are all full of joy,
and received a new Monster toy.
And greeted this day with a CHEER! YAY!! :)
A very Happy Christmas night, to all you Monster kids!
And a big ol' hug to the Baron & Baroness!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 87,695 times)
&, charp13, a BIG, OLDE, MONSTER-KID HUG, to YOU!!!! From The BARONESS, BETH, & Moi-Self, B.G.G.!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE Race shun the Light, of DAY,
Only, at Night, Their evil powers hold SWAY;
In the Sun, They BAKE,
Dissolving, into ASH-CAKE;
Whilst Their hold, on the Living, melts, AWAY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I'm so glad to be finally home.
For at Christmas we merrily roam.
The house still standing
The walk needs sanding
And to all I wish happy Shalom
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 87,778 times) PALINDROME! ;)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY needed "QUICK CASH",
He'd, already, squandered His STASH;
A Bank, He did ROB,
Killing Officer BOB;
He's known, for behaving, quite, RASH!
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 87,842 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
Once, again, Our Short Week-End is ENDING,
As, is This Year, A.D. 2013! MIND-BENDING!
'Tis, Really, been GREAT,
Due, to a Very, Large, SPATE,
Of LIMERICKS, which, seem, NEVER-ENDING!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 87,947 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
Last Evening, I, just, had, to FROWN,
I Discovered, My Computer was DOWN;
So, a New Limerick, NOW,
With 2013's "Final BOW";
From This Horror Host, Who is, also, a CLOWN!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As this year now draws to its end.
I have many a message to send.
To all I hold dear.
We send much good cheer.
On us you can always depend.
Computer problems certainly s*ck,
There are times that I want to scream f*ck.
Thus back online.
You seem to be fine.
Wishing you the best cyber l*ck.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead *(Read 88,000 times)*
:) ~~ :D ~~ :laugh: ~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~ :laugh: ~~ :D ~~ :)
I find, I can get, High, without BEER,
Thanks, to This Joyous, NEW, YEAR;
A New YEAR, AND,
A New THOUSAND*;
May We Fare, Better, than KING LEAR!
:) ~~ :D ~~ :laugh: ~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~ :laugh: ~~ :D ~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,088 times)
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
I'm feeling, more, than, a little, bit, SQUIRRELLY,
At this New Year's pace, downright, HURLY-BURLY;
On this January, FIRST,
88, Forward & REVERSE;
A Feminine shape, reminiscent, of ELIZABETH HURLEY!
::) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,140 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
Tonight, TENNESSEE joins THE UNION,
O' States, wrapped, in Snow-Laden FASHION;
With Freezing and ICE,
It's Killed, All, My LICE;
Mano A Mano, We're Takin' A HUGE TRASHIN'!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I'll never stomach the stench of smoke
It causes me to sneeze and choke
Can NOT stand the smell,
Do I have to yell?
The odor even clings to your cloak.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,200 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Dr. Van HELSING opened a RESTAURANT,
It became DRACULA'S Favourite HAUNT;
"His Tasty, BLOOD-PUDDING,
Reminds me, of CUBA GOODING;
It fills Me, up, when I'm feeling, too, GAUNT!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,244 times)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ :-* ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
"'Tis lovely weather!" So, "They" SAY,
For Abominable Snow-Folk, to PLAY;
It, never, gets OLDE,
Being, out, in the COLD;
Even, FROSTY doesn't wear a TOUPEE!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ :-* ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,270 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The Ancient VAMPIRE, slowly, crept, up, the STAIRS,
He passed, the Hall, of ornate Windows and CHAIRS;
Yet, He aimed, FULL-BORE,
Straight, for MY DOOR!
I said: "I've got Stake & Cross; Open It - If You DARE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,288 times)
:-[ ~~~~ :P ~~~ ??? ~~ :o ~~ ??? ~~~ :P ~~~~ :-[
Odds, of the Palindrome, greatly, INCREASE,
I Produce New Ones, every, time, I SNEEZE;
A mere 2-Hundred Reads, AGO,
I know, My NOSE didst BLOW;
BEWARE, I Say, o' My Vile Olfactory CAPRICE!
:-[ ~~~~ :P ~~~ ??? ~~ :o ~~ ??? ~~~ :P ~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Our belov'd friend Unknown Primate,
Has sadly met his ultimate fate.
We miss him, 'tis true,
And Scatter flings poo,
At that King Kong-sized Pearly Gate!
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk
There once was a man named Mark
Who thought that life was but a lark.
We'll miss your brawn.
I woke at the dawn.
Wondering why life is so dark.
I will sorely miss my friend Mark,
His zest for life left others in the dark,
Many a joke he told and shared,
Which at times left me un-chaired,
You were always good for a lark.
R.I.P Mark,
You may have been unknown as an primate but as a mate you will always be mine.
Maurice
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,488 times)
WOWSERS! Plus, a PALINDROME SALUTE,
in HONOUR, o' UNKNOWN PRIMATE'S PASSING!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
There was a Fabled UMA Beast, called: "THE STAMPER!"
Cowards would SWEAT; it made Brave Men, DAMPER;
His Bite, Better, than, His BARK,
On My HEART, He left His MARK;
U.P., Oft, made Me LAUGH; A Real TUMMY-CRAMPER!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
My dear friend Mark, I will miss.
His words always brought me such bliss.
We talked of our joys,
and our sweet monster toys....
and I'll smile when remembering all this. :(
I will never forget my precious friend. You were also a brother to me....
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,542 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY'S TOMB was, way, too, HOT,
He thought: "If I stay, here, I shall ROT!"
So, He booked a FLIGHT, OUT,
Toured The USA, THEREABOUTS,
Retired, in COLORADO, 'cos He likes POT!
hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,595 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
YGOR stumbled, into the Olde SULPHUR PIT,
Where His Friend was entombed; He dare, not, QUIT;
YGOR made a DECISION,
Using His INTUITION;
It brought, forth, THE MONSTER, for a LIGHTNING HIT!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,740 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
VAMPIRES' flittering wings filled the NIGHT SKIES,
Fear-Stricken Villagers wondered a Terrified "WHY?!"
"It's hard, to get FAT,
Flitting, about, as a BAT;
Less calories, in Mosquitoes, than, in Human BLOOD-PIES!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,878 times)
*WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,888 times)*
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 88,908 times)
:o ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :o
I, narrowly, missed, being Read # 88,888,
We went Shopping, and, ran a bit, LATE;
I, then, helped My SPOUSE,
To clean, up, Our HOUSE;
I take it, in stride; not, the least, bit, IRATE!
:o ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ :'( ~~ :-* ~~ :'( ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 89,182 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
The YETI Clan met, in HIGH COUNCIL,
To entrap Humans, against Their WILL;
I was Their Very FIRST,
They did Their WORST;
Upon My release, They gave me a BILL!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 89,505 times)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ :-* ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
My MOM would've been 101, TODAY,
But, Her 88th Year saw Her Dying DAY;
In Her Life, I REJOICE,
&, Still, Recall Her VOICE;
For Her Sweet SOUL, EVERNOW, I PRAY!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ :-* ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 89,791 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
I Hail, today, a Man, with a Heart, for FUN;
Yet, in WORLD WAR II, had, to use a GUN;
I was Honoured & GLAD,
To call Him: "My DAD";
He died, 9 years, shy, of His Century RUN.
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 89,967 times)
:laugh: ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :laugh: ~~ :'( ~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :laugh:
DER JANUS-KOPF Month is, Half-Way, THROUGH,
I Hope, that, this New Year goes, well, for YOU;
WINTER is Cold and BLEAK,
Still, no, Reason, to FREAK;
SPRING'S, just, 'round the corner, I Pray It's TRUE!
:laugh: ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :laugh: ~~ :'( ~~ :laugh: ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 90,095 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT ALUCARD was spitting, up, BLOOD,
He Confessed, that:"I'm feeling, like, CRUD;
Since My Name's been INVERTED,
My entire Nature's been PERVERTED!"
"Vat happens, next?! I turn, into ELMER FUDD?!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A limerick a day
Keeps the doctor away.
When you're feeling a chill and afraid you'll be ill
There's no need for a pill once you take up your quill.
It's most surely a way to keep fevers at bay!
8)
I see no reason to fear
Any doctors, for I see none here.
But you might all get sick
If I write limericks
So I won't, and for that you should cheer!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 90,645 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
They say, that, THE VAMPIRES, of SPAIN,
Are, Frightfully, INEPT AND MUNDANE;
They Exhibit NO CLASS,
Putting BLOOD, in a GLASS;
Then, promptly, pouring it, down the DRAIN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 90,763 times)
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
LIMERICK LOGIC is DEFORMED, by a Well-Placed PUN,
Not, Unlike, POLITICIANS, with Their Practiced RUN;
You might think, It's TRUE,
Yet, 'tis a Thing, You'll RUE;
I.E.: a TRANQUILIZER RIFLE is a "NOD-OFF" SHOTGUN!
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 90,833 times)
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ :'( ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
Yet, another Thrust, of WINTRY WOES,
New Deluge, of, More, ICE & SNOW;
I Pray, you're, ALL, kept SAFE,
&, your skin, be free, of CHAFE;
Plus, Exemption, from a RUNNY NOSE!
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ :'( ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Snow Falls upon us Again
Giving Larry Talbot an ache & a pain
The discomfort better go away soon
Before the full of the moon
So the Wolfman can murder and maim
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 90,896 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
In the DEPTHS, of the GREAT BARRIER REEF,
SWARMS, of SHARKS, Inflict, MUCH, GRIEF;
As THEY Swim, lazily, BY,
The Fish, safely, emit a SIGH;
Thinking, once, again,: "Whoa! That's a RELIEF!"
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 90,961 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
The ZOMBIES smelled My Brain, far, AFIELD,
Sensed My I.Q. must produce a Great YIELD;
Into my Go-Cart, to Escape TOWN,
"Oh, No! No Gas!" Left Me a FROWN;
Made Me, a ZOMBIE Treat: :MEALS-ON-WHEELS"!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,010 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ thrhrt ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ thrhrt
ALL, BLOOD, in Their Unholy Brains, CONGEALED,
THE UNDEAD, Now, Their Deaths'-Heads, REVEALED;
Their FACES Melted, like, WAX,
'Twas, Naught, Left, Save, ASH;
Their Grim, Dire, FATE, Ad Perpetuum, SEALED!
thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ thrhrt ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,070 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
There was, once, a poor GHOST, from IBERIA,
Whose After-Life followed the Usual CRITERIA;
It was His Naughty CHOICE,
To raise His Spectral VOICE;
To Affright, All, of the Diners, in the CAFETERIA!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,093 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :-* ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
I know a Most, Charming, GHOST, of LIBERIA,
With Faint Ectoplasmic Scent, of WISTERIA;
But, Don't let Her FOOL YA,
She can be, most, CRUEL YEAH;
She's Notorious, for Causing MASS HYSTERIA!
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :-* ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,119 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
Our Numbers are flowing, ALONG;
Soon, 'twill be 100,000, STRONG;
A Palindrome sets it, OFF,
With, no, reason, to SCOFF;
Like, BORIS KARLOFF, Singing a SONG!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,155 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
Invading this Page, Number, ONE-SEVENTY-FIVE,
THE UNDEAD said: "You'll, never, take Us, ALIVE!"
By THE GHOST, of E.A. POE,
Only, 25 Pages, more, to GO;
At a Goal, of 200, by St. PADDY'S DAY, we'll ARRIVE!
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,191 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
THE HIRSUTE YETI observed the Snows MELT,
"One, more, nasty, WINTER, under My BELT."
Amid the Blossoming ARBORS,
"I'm, now, off, to My BARBER'S;
To Look, More, Human, not, a 'Thing, in a PELT'"!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,300 times)
;D ~~~~ :'( ~~~ ;D ~~ :'( ~~ ;D ~~~ :'( ~~~~ ;D
Dear, Olde, JANUS-KOPF wasn't a BORE,
No! He filled, us, with Weathers, GALORE;
Now, on His way, OUT,
Let's give, Him, a SHOUT;
"Good Riddance! We don't want, any, MORE!"
;D ~~~~ :'( ~~~ ;D ~~ :'( ~~ ;D ~~~ :'( ~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,341 times)
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-[ ~~ ;) ~~ :-[ ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o
Whene'er I should be falling, ASLEEP,
Into Moi Brain, New Limericks, CREEP;
When Sheep, I do COUNT,
No, Matter, What AMOUNT;
I Awake, Attacked, by LITTLE BO PEEP!
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-[ ~~ ;) ~~ :-[ ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,399 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2nd, of February, A.D. 1969
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REST, IN PEACE, BORIS KARLOFF
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
'Tis, Today, that, 45 years, have PASSED,
So, long, ago, His Body breathed it's LAST;
"AH, DISTINCTLY, I REMEMBER",
Painted, in hues, of dismal UMBER;
When a Major Frame, to my World, CRASHED.
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,472 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA awoke, in His CRYPT,
From His BLOOD-CHALICE, He SIPPED;
"Alas, I do FEAR,
'Twas a very, poor, YEAR;
Renfield's Blood - quite, bad." He QUIPPED.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,488 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
ROBERT TAYLOR is, another, Year, Elder, They SAY,
His WEREWOLF Mane, never, ever, Goes ASTRAY;
What would give Him a LIFT?
Why, DRAC'S Favourite GIFT;
A Night, at VLAD'S Castle... &, a Bottle, of OLD TOKAY!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,528 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Confused
THE ZOMBIES Decided, upon Going, to SCHOOL,
They Refused, to Grow, Up, Perceived, as FOOLS;
"It would Be, so, Totally, GROOVY,
To Star, in Other Kinds, of MOVIES;
We Need Real Brains, not, just, the 'Eat Brains' RULE!"
Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,562 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
My Friend, that Nobleman Vampire, named, MERLE,
Was, always, on the Look-Out, for a Beautiful GIRL;
Unfurling, and, Swirling, His CAPE,
He'd Feed, Her, a Meal, of CREPES;
Then, make Her His Duchess; for He is Duke, of EARL!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,598 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES were, after, some LOOT,
Amongst which, was a Famed, Magic FLUTE;
"We'll be THE PIED PIPER,
Then, Strike, like, a VIPER;
Those HUMANS' Resistance will be MOOT!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,631 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
The vile attack, of Forces, DEMONIC,
Vented their need, to be HISTRIONIC;
Attacking two, odd, FELLOWS,
Named ABBOTT & COSTELLO;
They learned Humans can be MORONIC!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,680 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
There, Once, was a WEREWOLF, From MACON,
Locals polled, said: "Thet Boy's got th' MAKINS',
As the Beastly King, of Movin' an' SHAKIN';
Cos' He's got, All, of our Hearts, A-QUAKIN',
If 'Ya Cain't Fake Steak', then, Ya Cain't Fake BACON!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,755 times)
GOD BLESS The UMA, and, ALL, Thereof, Who Must Endure, More, O' Winter's Wrath.
tynhrt ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :angel:
Spake ye BARD: "Now, is the Winter, of our DISCONTENT."
Yet, of inclement weather was, not, the Issue, MEANT;
Biased negativity, of Inclement CLIME,
Begrudges Hearts, sans, Reason, or, RHYME;
Although, our current UMA Plight, is similar cause, to VENT!
tynhrt ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,775 times)
>:( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:(
There, once, was a Mad WHIRLING DERVISH,
Whose Attitude veered, towards the PEEVISH;
When Temper was SHORT,
He'd Yell, with a SNORT;
"'Tis due, to ye Waters I quaff, quite, BRACKISH!"
>:( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,800 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
I see yon Approach, of ST. VALENTINE'S,
Buy Stock, in Gold and Diamond MINES;
Thou'lt be, set, for LIFE,
As Shalt Be Thy WIFE;
Unless, She's ye Bride... of FRANKENSTEIN!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,825 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
Blindingly White, Day and NIGHT,
Causing Millions, of People, a FRIGHT;
An Icy RAMPAGE,
Traps, us, all, in a CAGE;
A Snowstorm, of Incredible MIGHT!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,884 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ ededed ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
THURSDAY, The 13th, hath, now, Melted, AWAY,
Where'er Thou dost look, Ye see Hearts, on DISPLAY;
I pray, Thy LOVE be FINE,
Unlike, FRANKENSTEIN;
Mayest Thou & Thy Beloved enjoy VALENTINE'S DAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ ededed ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,919 times)
A PALINDROME, O' CLASSIC PROPORTIONS!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
Our VALENTINES have, All, been given, AWAY,
So, onward, We go, to our Next HOLIDAY;
Filled, with LIMERICK FEAR,
And, Mugs, o' GREEN BEER;
Plus, a Lucky Shamrock, 'tis ST. PADDY'S DAY!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,955 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
A LYCANTHROPE'S Bite cursed the wee LEPRECHAUN,
Who transformed, to add, more, hair, fangs & BRAWN;
Due, to His Diminutive HEIGHT,
He endured a Strange PLIGHT,
Changing, Ev'ry HALF-MOON; from Dusk, until DAWN!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 91,995 times)
thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES flew, in, from the COAST,
To inspect a House, filled, with GHOSTS;
"We're, up, at the same TIME,
And, I have, just, been SLIMED;
Of, all, vile things, this, is the Most GROSS!"
thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,048 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
That Bloody, Olde, Groundhog saw its SHADOW,
6, More, Weeks, o' SNOW, Blanketing MEADOWS;
Now, 'tho', HALF, of it, is RUN,
It's, still, hard, to make a PUN;
Its Demise must be a Worthy Story, by E. A. POE!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,084 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
A Weird VAMPIRE entered a Very, Deep, TRANCE,
Then, Slowly, began a Strange MACABRE DANSE;
He, still, seemed full, of PEP,
But, made a Crucial MISSTEP;
Ending, Up, Impaled, by The KING, Of FRANCE!
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,125 times)
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym
The SKELETAL LEGIONS, of Ancient ROME,
For Centuries, Marched, Forever, to ROAM;
Inside Spectral BREAST,
Yearning, to find REST;
Sad Realization: "There's no Place, like, HOME!"
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,129 times)
;D ~~~ ;) ~~ :o ~ :-* ~ :o ~~ ;) ~~~ ;D
Today, I drank Tea, with my SCONE,
Relaxed, for I was, Home, ALONE;
Then, a Report came, IN,
Amid the Exuberant DIN;
"Oy Vey! Yet, another, PALINDROME!"
;D ~~~ ;) ~~ :o ~ :-* ~ :o ~~ ;) ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,152 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
The Fierce WOLF-MAN made a Grizzly ATTACK,
Pouncing, upon His poor Victim, from the BACK;
The Clock struck, NINE,
As He started, to DINE;
A Silver Bullet dropped Him, Dead, in His TRACKS!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,200 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTER SQUAD Race came, out, EVEN,
Each, One, proved, to be a Real SPEED DEMON;
They were, without EQUAL,
{There's Talk, of a SEQUEL!}
As The Streets erupted, in Wild PANDEMONIUM!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,270 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
The Fiendish DOKTOR began, to EXPERIMENT,
By Flavouring Dead Tissue, with PEPPERMINT;
So, when, the Feat was COMPLETE,
The MONSTER would Smell, SWEET;
Thus, Avoid "Old Problems", with a "RE-INVENT"!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,292 times)
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~ Zombie Shocked ~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was THE MUMMY, IM-HOTEP,
Who, when Revived, was, sure, Full, of PEP;
He carried, out, His AGENDA,
Tried, to Kill, every FRIEND, OF
ANKH-ES-EN-AMON! He was, such, A SCHLEP!
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~ Zombie Shocked ~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,329 times)
Gotcha, again, Mr. Palindrome!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
UP, from THE LAGOON, Swam THE CREATURE,
HE Noticed The Lovely Woman's FEATURES,
HE Knew, It was FOLLY, and, YET...
HE, Truly, Admired Her ASSETS,
Plus, in Terms, of LOVIN', HE Needed a TEACHER!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,370 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
There was an Evil VAMPIRE, Known, in Olde KRAKOW,
Who was, accidentally, UNEARTHED, by a BACK-HOE;
He was, so, extremely, PERTURBED,
He wreaked Havoc, on the 'BURBS;
Drank the Blood, of a Thousand, Plus, as a SNACK - WOW!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,415 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
You've heard, of that Unfortunate VAMPIRE,
Whose Last Circumstance proved, rather, DIRE,
Smugly, Safe, in His COFFIN,
He caught a Fit, of COUGHIN';
As He was hit, with the Fact... He was, ON FIRE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,438 times)
;) ~~ :) ~~~ :D ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad
What doth ye Word, "MARCH", mean, to THE ARMY?
Mostly, Drills, o' War-like Maneuvers, quite, STORMY;
Yet, to This MONSTER'S UMA,
With Limerick Buffoonery, I SAY;
That, MARCH {17th} defines ye Anniversary, o' BARMY!
;) ~~ :) ~~~ :D ~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,471 times)
;) ~~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~ ;)
The Wee LEPRECHAUN guarded His GOLD,
He took a Great Step, to do, so, quite, BOLD;
Found, Himself, a GENIE,
A Terrifying MEANIE;
Who, Evil, into Slavery, The LEPRECHAUN, SOLD!
;) ~~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,507 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :'(
This Weather, o' Winter Months, has formed an ICY TRYST,
We, All, feel, brutally, Pummeled, by Their Snow-Laden FISTS;
If, We'll, just, HANG, ON,
SPRING will come, SOON;
Amid New Bowers, o' Green & Bright Colors, Color US BLISSED!
:'( ~~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,525 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Mad
THE ZOMBIES, All, got, up, to DANCE,
That's, just, how They are, in FRANCE;
Being Allergic, to GRAINS,
They Insist, upon "BRAINS!"
'Cos, Grains put Their Brains, in a TRANCE!
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie Mad ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,542 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE GHOULS, All, Knew, Where, to DIG,
'Twas the Graves, that, were EXTRA-BIG;
For Something, to MUNCH,
More Filling, than LUNCH
A Mid-Night Snack, a Huge BITE-A-GIG!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,558 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE KING Arose, He was FURIOUS,
At the Report, of His Demise, quite, SPURIOUS;
"I get My 'STREET CRED',
By Being UNDEAD;
I Despise Filthy Lies, they are, so, INJURIOUS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,578 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a Lovely VAMPIRE, named BETTY,
Whose Foul Breath Smelled, Worse, than a YETI;
Sampling a New Dental RINSE,
No One has seen Her, SINCE;
Garlic Mouthwash - She Exploded, like, CONFETTI!
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,602 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
The Spaghetti, Got Sauced, and, Came, To LIFE,
Attacking The FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER'S WIFE;
"Our DOKTOR'S, quite, MAD,
For, THINGS, to get This BAD;
Inanimate Objects cause, Way, Too, Much, STRIFE!"
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,620 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ ;D ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
I Love, All, the Great Artwork, of MICHELANGELO,
Or, of CEZANNE, They leave me feeling MELLOW;
Then, some nameless SLOB,
Came, up, with THE BLOB;
I Guess, "THERE'S, ALWAYS, ROOM, FOR JELLO!"
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ ;D ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,655 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
'Tis MODERN TIMES, in olde CARFAX ABBY,
LAZY BLOOD makes DRACULA, FLABBY;
"Despite any Number, of TRIES,
My Victims despise EXERCISE;
Flaccid BLOOD tends, to make Me, CRABBY!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,675 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE UNDEAD are known, to operate, by DISGUISE,
Foolish Mortals, oft, end up, Their Feasting PRIZE;
Current Weather is AKIN,
Altho' Winter wears THIN;
Don't, yet, trust Spring's Arrival, it's a Passel, of LIES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,692 times)
>:( ~~~~ :( ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~ :( ~~~~ >:(
SAINT PATRICK'S DAY will be Dawning, SOON,
We, LIMERICK WRITERS, are, Over The MOON;
You may, not, always, SEE,
Our HUMAN PEDIGREE;
Howe'er, Like, ALICE, We, Too, Are GOONS!
>:( ~~~~ :( ~~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~~ :( ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,725 times)
u6juu ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ u6juu
MORD was given the order, to SLICE,
The KING'S Cake, and, do, it, TWICE;
But, He used His Great AXE,
Gave that Cake 40 WHACKS;
Until, It resembled a Bowl, of RICE!
u6juu ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,787 times)
:o ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ ??? ~~ ;) ~~ ??? ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :o
I remember, well, Madame TUSSAUD,
She thought, Me, to be, rather, ODD;
She considered the FACTS,
Then, had Me cast, in WAX;
So, I told her, she was "Playing GOD"!
:o ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ ??? ~~ ;) ~~ ??? ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 928,28 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
THE COUNT adopted a Lugubrious AIR,
Like, a smarmy Carnie, at a State FAIR;
He figured, He was RIGHT,
Before He "Put, On, THE BITE";
His Victim... The Demoniac, LINDA BLAIR.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,842 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ :'( ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
THE SKELETONS Danced, on Their GRAVES,
The ZOMBIE-MASTER used Them, as SLAVES;
'Twas, quite, a SIGHT,
Caused, Many, a FRIGHT;
Yet, not, One, of their poor Souls, was SAVED.
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ :'( ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,859 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead « on: March 17, 2008, 06:30:32 AM »
PACKY PAUL Wrote:
Good moaning everyone! I'm not Irish but most of you are painfully aware that I write limericks.
A reknown member whom we refer to as Meek suggested recently that we might trade limericks on St. Paddy's day.
;) ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ ;)
That Sweet Invite was the Start, of It, ALL,
Innocuous, It Birthed LIMERICK FREE-FALL;
Now, SIX Years, LATER,
'Tis A HUGE ALLIGATOR;
IRISH-GREEN &, Ravenously, Hungry, for Y'ALL!
;) ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Once Count Dracula found out he was dead,
He made plans to punish those with dread,
All of his enemies will pay,
For his early death this day,
Because now he has to lie in a coffin instead.
St Patrick's day is upon us once more,
It also brings a hint of Spring galore,
So by the wearing of the green,
We parade around town to be seen,
And by closing time we are shown the bar door.
Have a most enjoyable St Patrick's day to all my friends at the UMA
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,882 times)
:o ~~~~~ :( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o
May ST. PADDY'S DAY LEPRECHAUNS, ABOUND,
TV HORROR & I are The UMA'S Official CLOWNS;
Is it, Worse, for You, or, for ME,
On This Thread's 6th ANNIVERSARY;
I can't tell, as ye Printed Word maketh No SOUND!
:o ~~~~~ :( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,892 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ hmjfym
A ST. PADDY'S PALINDROME comes, TRUE,
IRISH LUCK is Stunning, in GREEN & BLUE;
McChaney & O'KARLOFF,
Art GOOD, For A LAFF;
O'Lugosi, the Leprechaun, might Pop, In, TOO!
hmjfym ~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,895 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
By ye SHADES, o' Sts. ERNIE and BERT,
Ye Above "Palindrome", ne'er, WERT!!
What ye HECK!{SIC}
I went DYSLEXIC;
I think, Because I Shampoo, with PERT!
{I"m Brain-Washed!}
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Ode to a misbegotten rhyme,
We can only handle one at a time,
Some of them are great,
And some of them are neat,
But it is the Baron who is sublime.
The Limerick thread will never die,
While we have an interest in Dwight Frye,
Though most of the greats are gone,
Their memory lives on like song,
Of sagas retold of old as times wind flies.
Tis' the day that we all wear some green,
and parade all around to be seen!
But the true spirit of St. Paddy,
shines through many a laddie,
like tv horror & The Baron- so keen! :)
Happy St. Patrick's Day...........and I shall return the limerick thread back to the masters :)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 92,970 times)
My THANKS, to, Both, o' You, for Your Fine Contributions!
:-* ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :-*
To Moi UMA Beloveds, TV HORROR and CHARP:
Rest assured, Thou shalt, Ne'e'r, hear Moi CARP;
I may be a MASTER,
O' Limerick DISASTER;
Yet, I shalt, also, set Thy Musicke, to Moi HARP!
:-* ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,030 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed
Amongst, all, the Things, that, "Go, Bump, in the NIGHT",
The FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER Heads the List, of that PLIGHT;
When YGOR wanted REVENGE,
Whom did He Send, Again & AGAIN;
His Olde "Friend", FRANKENSTEIN, Whom, no one could FIGHT!
ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,063 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
If you meet Someone, named, ALUCARD,
You'd better mind your JUGULAR, PARD;
If you become, as Friends, TIGHT,
BEWARE, He's got one, Nasty, BITE;
No Dental Prosthetics, they're Real & HARD!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,099 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
If You Meet Some Weird Guy, named, IM-HOTEP,
I'd Advise, Be Wise, Put Some Pep, in Your STEP!
If He Thinks, You Stole His SCROLL,
Brother, then, Who ya gonna CALL?!
DR. MULLER, da Man, Who can Fix It, in 1 Easy STEP!
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,130 times)
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :-\ ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-\ ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o
If You meet a Hominid FISH, that, Walks, like, a MAN,
Covered, in Green Scales, has Gills & sports No TAN;
Get, up, off, o' Yer KEISTER,
Introduce Him, to Yer SISTER;
Believe It Or Not, call RIPLEY'S, It's a Grade-A PLAN!
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :-\ ~~~ :-* ~~~ :-\ ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,140 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
If You meet a Man, just, before the FULL MOON,
When It does, He becomes a Wild, Hairy, LOON;
Aim, at His Brain, Heart or GULLET,
With a Real, Live, SILVER, BULLET;
That's 1 Relationship, You can't End, TOO, SOON!
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,189 times)
;) ~~~~ :) ~~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~~ :) ~~~~ ;)
Should You meet an Ugly Man, of Misshapen BACK,
Try, not, to appear Anxious, in fact, use some TACT;
He might Swing, from Ropes & PRANCE,
He sold MASS QUANTITIES, in FRANCE;
Of ICE-CREAM CONE-HEADS; He doth, not, LACK!
;) ~~~~ :) ~~~~ :D ~~~ ;D ~~~ :D ~~~~ :) ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,219 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS, All, Left, They GOED, OUT,
"Sure, An' 'Tis SPRING, They's NO, DOUBT;
'Tho' Sum ARCTIC BLAST,
Musta, Just, PASSED;
We Sees, By This Cold White, It SNOWED, OUT!"
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,290 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a GHOUL, named, STANLEY,
Who was considered, anything, but, MANLY;
"I know, I'm, quite, QUIET,
But, it might be my DIET;
'Mum's The Word', not, 'Scream, like a BANSHEE!'"
Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Blush ~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,333 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
All, that, I can say, is: "WHOOPEE!"
Get a Load, o' this Passel, o' THREES;
The Numbers, All, "POP!",
At Our Limerick BUS-STOP;
Addicting, like, some Strange DISEASE!
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,373 times)
C:) ~~~ C:) ~~~ C:) ~~ ;) ~~ C:) ~~~ C:) ~~~ C:)
There Is A UMA GENERAL, Named, TERRY,
Who, Once, Proposed A Very, Odd, QUERY;
To The Late HELEN CHANDLER...
Or, Was It, CHELSEA HANDLER?
To Make Merry, If, She, Him, Wouldst MARRY!
C:) ~~~ C:) ~~~ C:) ~~ ;) ~~ C:) ~~~ C:) ~~~ C:)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,420 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
With The Day's Last Rays, Of Dying LIGHT,
The VAMPIRES Roll, Back, Coffin Lids, TIGHT;
As The Corporeal SLAVES,
To The Blood, They CRAVE;
They, Now, Know The True Meaning, Of FRIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,475 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD was, on THE ROAD, TO MANDALAY,
He Loved, to Eat, the Spicy Spiders, in the BAY;
In Honour, of His STATURE,
They put, up, His STATUE;
&, Changed the Weekday's Name, to FRYE-DAY!
{That's DWIGHT An Accomplishment! ;) }
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,508 times)
tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~ :-* ~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt
QUASIMODO Was Ringing THE BELLS,
The City Shook, To The Elegant SWELLS;
'Twas PARIS' HEARTBEAT,
Q. Was Fast, On His FEET;
We Know The Sad Story's End, They TELL!
tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~ :'( ~ :-* ~ :'( ~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,535 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ cl:) ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
'Altho', 'tis a, long, wait, 'til OCTOBER,
We, Monster Kids, must remain SOBER;
A Year's Planning is NEAT,
'Cos, It, always, REPEATS;
HALLOWEEN has, Us, Rolling, In CLOVER!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ cl:) ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,580 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
THE CREATURE saw, something, while, SWIMMING,
His poor LAGOON needed some, serious, TRIMMING;
He let, out, a MOAN,
"With Seaweed, so, OVERGROWN;
It, drastically, Affects My View, of Visiting WOMEN!"
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,645 times)
:) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :)
HANSEL And GRETEL Thought, They Were DANDY,
Eating An Enchanted House, Made, Out, Of CANDY;
THE WITCH'S Form, Of LOVIN',
Was, To POP, 'Em, In The OVEN;
She Ended, Up, There, Instead; A Toast, With BRANDY!
:) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,000,647,000,402 times)
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
We Remember, Now, TIMMY, the GHOUL,
He'd Write Useless Rhymes, On A STOOL;
Many Others Would READ,
'Til, It Made Their Eyes BLEED;
He Wishes Y'a'll, "Happy April 1st", This FOOL!
tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~ Zombie LOL ~ tynhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,664 times)
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym
I, cannot, Allow THIS DAY, to GET, AWAY,
Sans, The Recognition, of SOMEONE, I SAY;
Who began Our Whole GENRE,
As THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA;
So, To LON CHANEY, SR.: A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,703 times)
:angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel:
YESTERDAY WAS FOUR/ONE/ONE FOUR {4/1/14},
A PALINDROME, Once, MORE;
Wait, A Whole YEAR,
'Til Another Draws, NEAR;
MAY 5/1/15 Have BLESSINGS, In STORE!
:angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,712 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Of, All, of the Films, Old DRAC'S BEEN, IN,
He, either, gets Staked, or, goes SWIMMIN';
What, Always, brings Him, DOWN,
Like, some, sad, old, CLOWN;
Seems, to be, His Fallible Choice, in WOMEN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,745 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
I'm, Lately, Reminded, o' JIMMY, The BLOB,
Up, in Boston, He Made Lunch, o' THE MOB;
'Tho', not, near, as FAMOUS,
As His Big Brother, SEAMUS;
He Devoured Crowds, like, Corn-On-The-COB!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,783 times)
Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Alien
I, once, knew a Mad MONSTER, from TRENT,
Whose Curse was, of a most, serious, BENT;
He came, out, at NIGHT,
His Eye had, no, SIGHT;
His poor Scales were, all, covered, with DENTS!
Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Alien
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,810 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
I knew a MONSTROUS ICE CREAM SUNDAE,
Who lived, down, the street, in Ancient POMPEII;
These Words were His LAST:
"Ow! Thatsa some PYROCLAST!"
Any Further COMMENTS, then, MELTED, AWAY!
tynhrt ~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,852 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked
A Decrepit, Olde, WITCH, Named, RUTH,
Developed A Fiery PAIN, In Her TOOTH;
Her Dentist Said: "FORSOOTH!"
"RUTH, I Must Have PROOF!"
She Pulled, Out, 100, A Bottle, Of VERMOUTH!
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,897 times)
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
I knew a COLOSSAL TUBER, Named, ARCHIE,
Who was unearthed, in the Heart, of KARACHI;
He tried, to Flex MUSCLE,
In the City, of BRUSSELS;
'Til His Fans discovered, He was, Too, STARCHY!
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,945 times)
:o ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :-[ ~~ :'( ~~ :-[ ~~~ >:( ~~~~ :o
THE GENIE Was Sure, She Was JINXED;
In Her Bottle, She Felt, Lots, Of KINKS;
Her Head, Filled, With DIN,
Due, To Some Evil JINN;
She Realized, He Was Some Nasty FINK!
:o ~~~~ >:( ~~~ :-[ ~~ :'( ~~ :-[ ~~~ >:( ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 93,968 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
With The UNDEAD Population, On The RISE,
An Evening Stroll Might, Just, Be, UNWISE;
Lest, You "Carry PROTECTION",
To Thwart Their "AFFECTIONS";
Like, GARLIC And CROSS, Which They DESPISE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,008 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie Grin ~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush
I think, I've been Bitten, by a ZOMBIE,
My Brain, now, can, only, say: "MOMMIE!"
Life can be, so, CRUEL,
When You're, just, a FOOL;
And, Discover, that, Brains are, not, CRUNCHY!
Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Alien ~ Zombie Grin ~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,035 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
The Main Reason, Why, I Find This Thread, So, FINE,
Is Because, We Keep Our Olde Friends, ENSHRINED;
LON, BELA And KARLOFF,
To You, Our Hats Are DOFFED;
For THE WOLF MAN, DRACULA, And FRANKENSTEIN!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,061 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Has Arisen, From The DEAD,
His Coffin, Now, Serves, As His Un-Dead BED;
"Instead, Of FIGHTING,
I'm A Pro, At MOONLIGHTING;
Like, FAME, ALL, BLOOD, Goes, To My HEAD!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,080 times)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ :-* ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
TIME Skips, Ahead, To TODAY,
Another Fabulous MONDAY;
Thru Thick & THIN,
A New Week BEGINS;
GOD Bless & Have A Nice DAY!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~ :-* ~ :angel: ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,105 times)
;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D
They Made Cinematic History A PARTY,
Comedic Genius, A Constant, Never, TARDY;
In The Land, Of The FREE,
They Towered, As Sturdy TREES;
STrANd, o' LAUREL & OLIVE R. HARDY!
;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,130 times)
;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;)
I hear, that, You're, New, to These PARTS,
I'm known, to Dabble, in The MYSTIC ARTS;
I Fell, Down, a Deep CHASM,
I Came, Back, as ECTOPLASM;
Now, My Music Hits The Top, Of The CHARTS!
;) ~~~~ ;) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,197 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA stepped, out, of the SHADOWS,
In Wolf-Form, ran, across, the MEADOW;
He tried, to get, AWAY,
But, for His Crime, did PAY;
He was Staked, 'ere the Next SUNDOWN.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,225 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
Into The Boiling Sulphur Pit, He SANK,
The Fumes, That, Engulfed Him, STANK;
One, More, Generation, SAFE,
DR. FRANKENSTEIN'S WAIF;
Little PETER Had His DADDY, To THANK!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,292 times)
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
THE PHANTOM "Went Courting" CHRISTINE,
HE Was, Oh, So, Suave; Politely, PRISTINE;
Yet, HE took, HER, To TASK,
As SHE Tore, Off, His MASK;
That's When MR. NICE GUY Turned MEAN!
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,315 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ :angel: ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Heard Three Knocks, On His CASKET,
And The Heavenly Laughter, Of ANGELS, OUTSIDE, IT;
VLAD Said: "This is, So, UNFAIR,
Each Year, I Say: 'WHO'S THERE?'
'You Know WHO!' Says HE, & I Get An EASTER BASKET!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~ :angel: ~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,348 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER was Lonely and SAD,
Being Deprived, of LOVE, drove Him, MAD;
Yet, when His Doc, BONA FIDE,
Tried, to Build, Him, a BRIDE;
She balked, at His LOOKS, as, if, He was a CAD!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,390 times)
C:) ~~~~ >:D ~~~ :angel: ~~ hmjfym ~~ :angel: ~~~ >:D ~~~~ C:)
The FACES, He did, were Varied and MANY,
His MAKE-UP Skills, Outrageous, UNCANNY;
Of Plights, MONSTERS, or, MEN,
His Career Proved Our FRIEND;
GOD, Bless That Great Heart: LON CHANEY!
C:) ~~~~ >:D ~~~ :angel: ~~ hmjfym ~~ :angel: ~~~ >:D ~~~~ C:)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Collecting monster toys is what I do,
So the time spent here here has flew,
Even this thread has improved our hobby,
With writing about robots like Robby,
Or Karloff, long live the Limerick crew.
p.s Have NO fear the Baron is here!
Hi Maurice,
Nice to have you back. 8)
A pleasure as always my dear monster friend,
Yep I am abiding by the new rules trend,
And I do agree with the new streamline,
But the Barons posts are always sublime,
What would anger me is to see their end.
Nice to hear from you too Flower.
A mysterious friend named Maurice,
with Monster spirit that will never cease,
Delights us with verse,
and breaks boredom's curse,
with his limerick's golden fleece!
** the last line is pretty shaky, but I just wanted to throw in some Argonaut stuff :)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,462 times)
MY SPECIAL THANKS, TO THE "UNUSUAL GANG, OF SUSPECTS":
TV HORROR, CHARP13 and FLOWER!
YOUR APPRECIATION, OF MY LIMERICK MONSTERS, MEANS, MORE, TO ME,
THAN MERE WORDS CAN, EVER, EXPRESS!
I LOVE YOU!!!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
We've a NEW HOME, in HORROR LITERATURE,
I Pray, It Saves, Us, from Eminent DEPARTURE;
Your Compliments and LOVE,
Are My Best Treasure TROVE;
So, I'll keep Writing, to Add, to Your RAPTURE!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Oh my goodness what have I done here,
I've caught the eye of a wolf I fear,
There was me minding my own business,
Now I have to fend my honour and Hydeness'
From a werewolf I still hold dear.
I love you too you big shaggy dog thingy me jig you, long may you rhyme
Oh a Limerick seed through much toil,
was tended by punsters most loyal.
Now fully matured
been LITERATURED!
And it's roots now grasp a new soil.
Hi it's Rip Van Packywinkle (yawn) did I miss anything?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,504 times)
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ ??? ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
A ZOMBIE, A WEREWOLF, and, A WITCH,
Used Their Arcane Powers, to become RICH;
THE WITCH, named AGNES,
Celebrated Her "HAG-NESS";
With BOBBY, THE UBER-ZOMBIE, &, MITCH!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ ??? ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,537 times)
packy120353 writ:
Oh a Limerick seed through much toil,
was tended by punsters most loyal.
Now fully matured
been LITERATURED!
And it's roots now grasp a new soil.
Hi, it's RIP Van PACKYWINKLE (Yaaaawwn) did I miss anything?
Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL
A LETTER, from PACKY PAUL, is, Always, a TRIP,
If He Shares a NEW LIMERICK?! I Say! HIP! HIP!
HE STARTED THIS THREAD,
Good Thing, He's UNDEAD;
His Fragrant Words, Most, Welcome: LETTER, RIP!
Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,575 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
Always, a Pleasure, to See, My BROTHER, MAURICE,
One, o' EIRE'S True Sons, &, to EIRE, Be PEACE!
He's, no, Hyde-Bound PRETENDER,
He's My LIMERICK DEFENDER;
We Are, Still, HERE, Y'All, &, May We INCREASE!!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool
GODZILLA Crawled, out, of the SEA,
On TOKYO, Stubbed His KNEE;
He released Fiery BREATH,
Wrought, many, a DEATH;
& Flattened The CITY, with His FEET!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,618 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool
GODZILLA Crawled, out, of the SEA,
On TOKYO, Stubbed His KNEE;
He released Fiery BREATH,
Wrought, many, a DEATH;
& Flattened The CITY, with His FEET!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
[/quote]
Oops the Baron has double posted,
Now the he is going to get roasted,
All this time he has been hiding,
But now he been seen beside the siding,
Come clean you hairy beast you have been toasted.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,649 times)
:-[ ~~~ :-[ ~~ :-[ ~ :o ~ :-[ ~~ :-[ ~~~ :-[
'Twas, but, a SILLY ACCIDENT, I SAY,
Did I see a "MODIFY" Button? NAY!
So, I gave It My VOTE,
Chose, to Use, "QUOTE";
To Add The Reader #, and, then, PRAY!
:-[ ~~~ :-[ ~~ :-[ ~ :o ~ :-[ ~~ :-[ ~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Gawd, you guys are hilarious! :laugh:
I am dying to see your vintage flick,
London after midnight would do the trick,
Although you are called Lundy,
I might just buy you a sundae,
But please don't ever call me thick.
I am a man named Paul Lundy
I vacationed at the Bay of Fundy
I was attacked by a bear
Who tore off my wear
And all that was left
Was my undies.
Not a Limerick, but:
Frankenstein met Ramses at the Monster Bash
The ghosts & the ghouls were throwing down!
He said, "Where have you been,
Have you met my new queen?'
Heck, they both look like The Mummy to me!
I'm the most Famous Monster
Frankenstein is my name!
Being big, green & nasty
Has brought me fortune & fame!
Ramses said, "I thank you for coming!
You wanna hang around for a wrap?"
I said, "No it's a full moon,
If I'm not home soon
The Bride is going to give me a slap!
Yes you know I'm a monster!
Frankenstein is my name!
When your dad's a mad doctor,
They're going to call you the same!
I see that you quote the unholy three,
Which makes you part of the UMA tree,
Our lineage has aged,
But we can't be caged,
We are all hopping mad you see.
Oh that Frankie fella you can't bring him anywhere I bet you he was stitched up at your party. Mummy's the word, stick around Paul because without knowing it your keyboard is glued, you now have sticky fingers.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,694 times)
WELCOME, ABOARD, SIR PAUL, O' LUNDY!
:o ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ :o
I Knew A MONSTER-KID, Named, PAUL LUNDY,
WE met, Somewhere, on A Month, o' SUNDAES;
He ripped, off, His HEAD,
I Thought, He was DEAD;
But, You Don't Need A BRAIN, For PUN-PLAY!
:o ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
What's green and stands over thirty stories high,
I'll give you two guesses the first is a loud cry,
And the second rhythms with Manila,
Go on give it a try is it Godzilla,
No it's Kermit on steroids.
Okay, I know it makes no sense but then again nobody reads these. The Baron likes to keep the numbers high by clicking on the Limerick's numerous times a day' I also glued his keyboard too tee hee.
There was an odd fellow named Maurice,
Who made as strange call to his niece,
He said take the cake,
Toss it in the lake,
Just say that you're feeding the geese.
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on April 30, 2014, 07:22:44 PM
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,694 times)
WELCOME, ABOARD, SIR PAUL, O' LUNDY!
:o ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ :o
I Knew A MONSTER-KID, Named, PAUL LUNDY,
WE met, Somewhere, on A Month, o' SUNDAES;
He ripped, off, His HEAD,
I Thought, He was DEAD;
But, You Don't Need A BRAIN, For PUN-PLAY!
:o ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ tynhrt ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:!!
There's an atomic dragon, Godzilla
And King Kong, a plus-sized gorilla
They got in a fight
And raised such a fright
They smashed Tokyo, New York & Manila!
I love it that Maurice is back
Lundy is taking up some slack
Sorry I was missing
As monsters were hissing
Derailing my rhymes off the track
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,759 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
Classic, FAMOUS MONSTERS, Oddly, CONVERGENT,
Sell Products, from CEREAL, to DETERGENT;
Not, in It, for THE MONEY,
They, just, Thought It, FUNNY;
Both, Scary, Then, Helpful; PATHS, SO, DIVERGENT!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Renfield hid below deck on the sly,
And he was only found by a loud sigh,
Come up here you swine,
We can see you behind the wine,
Why I don't think that he would hurt a fly.
Little Maria sat by the lake,
Tossing the petals like a flake,
Along came the monster with his flower,
And the encounter turned very sour,
Leaving the scene for his own sake.
That one is for you Susan enjoy, nice to be back even though my hunch gets in the way. Or as we tea drinkers say one hump or two.
Red Riding Hood made her way quick
To visit her grandma, who's sick.
But the Wolf Man---beware!
He ate her then & there!
She hadn't time to holler, "Oh Chick!"
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,837 times)
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o
KING KONG was, just, BIG, for His SIZE,
A Buff GORILLA, He loved, to EXERCISE;
To Increase His POWER,
He Beat, Up, DINOSAURS;
Meeting ANN, He Reached, For The SKIES!
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
With barely enough time to duck,
Muttering words rhyming with luck,
Bats flew thru the air
Just missing my hair
On my neck they'll never suck
Lundy has put me in a bad mood,
Thinking of Costello in a hood,
Now that I have that image,
I can't close my eyes for rage,
Red riding hood is now making me brood.
I wonder did the wolf realize he was eating Italian that night. In my case it would have been Irish spew or I mean STEW.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,885 times)
u6juu ~~~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~~~ u6juu
I Wandered, On, Down, To FLEET STREET,
To Buy, Me, Some, PIES, Made, Of MEAT;
That Cat, SWEENEY TODD,
Said, That, HE Dug MY BOD;
And, That, IT Looked, Good, Enuf, TO EAT!
u6juu ~~~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Dracula left Renfield raving,
Then decided to go caving,
What was the appeal,
Of stamping his seal,
Due to his blood craving.
Slowly a creature started to rise
I could feel his black zombie eyes
There wasn't a knife,
I ran for my life
My brains were not to be his prize
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,939 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
I Can, Not, Believe, That, We've MISSED,
That NIGHT, We, Celebrate: WALPURGIS;
APRIL, Fast, EVAPORATED,
'Twas NON-CONTEMPLATED;
Shame, On US... And, A Slap, On The WRIST!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I was too busy marking my blue flame,
As some coachman was calling me lame,
What he failed to know,
Was what lay below,
Making me very rich all the same.
No Baron I did not forget Walpugis night I spent it thinking of our dear friend Mark and how much he enjoyed his little ritual, rest easy my friend you are sorely missed.
Maurice you are putting me to shame,
I know not of this magic blue flame
While not a bitch,
I'd like to be rich
Will you allow me in on the game?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 94,964 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
I, Once, Knew, That Monster: "THE BLOB";
On A First-Name Basis, He Was "BOB";
An Unassuming FELLOW,
Oft, Mistaken, For JELLO;
But, He "Let Himself Go" - What A SLOB!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I love watching mysterious fog
Silently floating across the bog
It is a feature
Great for a creature
But not for those out for a jog
While I come across as very snide,
I like to wear my clothes with pride,
That London fog gets in the lungs,
Resulting in many stocking rungs,
I still get my beauties as I'm Mr Hyde.
Q. What is my favorite my game
A. Why Hyde and shriek of course.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,012 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Saved The BEST, For LAST,
MINA Would, All, Of His Other Brides, SURPASS;
When She Caught His EYE,
It Was: "Oh, My! OH, MY!"
By HARKER & Van HELSING, He Was OUT-CLASSED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Getting down to the nitty gitty
The likes of you, I have no pity.
A monster ate your brother,
Now, move your mother.
No real fiends dwell in Kansas City
Help the mushroom fiends are here,
Attacking our homes we hold dear,
I need weed killer oh what to buy,
However it seemed to be a fungi,
As he was such a fun guy I shed a tear.
In my garden it quickly grows
Its bit off my neighbor's toes
For I don't care
And have not a fear
As I doubt that anyone knows.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,150 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
It Seems, That, It Wasn't, So, Very, Long, AGO,
Hysteria, Over The Eggplant, That, Ate CHICAGO;
It Grew, In My GARDEN,
Was, Not, Granted PARDON;
Cooked, Up, By 3 Chefs: LARRY, CURLY & MOE!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,200 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
KHARIS Repented, and, Found RELIEF,
He Decided, to Turn, over, a New LEAF;
No, More, The Deadly BRUTE,
He Began, To Play The FLUTE;
I've seen His Hieroglyph, in BAS RELIEF!
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Jack Pierce loved to use yak hair,
Gluing it in place with such flair,
No matter how it turned out,
It earned its place out and about,
Scary and frightening I salute you sir.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,299 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN Walked, By The POND,
There, To His Young Friend Did Respond;
"I Love, To Float FLOWERS,
For Many, Blissful, HOURS;
But, When I Run, Out... YOU'RE GONE!"
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A creature I'd rather not meet,
Was roaring down my very street.
Creepy, fat, hairy,
Noisome and scary.
It's time to beat a hasty retreat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,359 times)
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
Palindrome "Bookends", of FIVES and NINES,
A LIMERICK... AGAIN! SURPRISE, It's MINE!
A Middle Number, of THREE,
It's Divided, You SEE,
Staging 2 HOWARD STOOGES, around 1 FINE!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,399 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S Mood Bordered, On The MOROSE,
"I'll Attempt, to Describe It, without Being VERBOSE;
I Do Love a Good RUN,
But, If I'm Caught, in The SUN;
I Grow, Helplessly, WEAK, and, Then, DECOMPOSE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
"A THOUGHT INSIDE MY CRANIUM.
THIS PROPHECY THAT I MAKE -
IF A MONSTER EATS URANIUM,
HE'LL GET ATOMIC ACHE."
(Borrowed from card #79 of
Creature Features You'll Die
Laughing cards from 1980)
Perhaps I should come and confess.
I know how I got into this mess.
He walked on my lawn.
I killed him at dawn.
Will gardeners feel my distress?
Hyde is a bit of a jack the lad,
With my smart brain I am glad,
I have tried to beat him,
While he thinks that it is a whim,
And proves once again he is a cad.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,467 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, Felt Compelled, To SAY,
"As VAMPIRE KING, I'm Known, To Hold SWAY;
Yet, Now, I Must CONFESS,
My BRIDES Are THE BEST;
So, To My LOVES, A 'HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY'!"*
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
* I'm Certain, That, DRACULA'S DAUGHTER,
As Well, As, THE SON OF DRACULA,
Agree, With Their DAD'S Sentiments!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We heard it creeping, we were wary.
A shambling zombie, dull, not hairy.
Staring at our porch,
We lit up our torch.
Blank look in it's eyes, so scary.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,500 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked
A Fine ZOMBIE LIMERICK, With CLASS,
With FLOWER-LIKE HAIKU, You AMASS,
Insight, To The CORE,
You've Done, This, BEFORE;
So, PAGE 185 Starts, Off, With A BLAST!
Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe
Catch a crazy by the toe
If he hollers
Grab his collar
Toss him in the undertow
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,555 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
TONIGHT'S got a NASTY STORM, A-BREWIN',
That could Lead, Us, To WRACK And RUIN;
This, one, Thing, I SWEAR,
'Tis, Too, Much, TWO BEAR;
So, Grab Your Weapon, and, STORM A BRUIN!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,607 times)
;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;)
Our Irish Limericks are Light-Years, AHEAD,
O' The Zombie Hoard's Efforts, UN-DEAD;
Here, Words make a POINT,
Their Brains, Fail, to ANOINT;
Irish Wit Feeds the Heart, like, SODA BREAD!
;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~ ::) ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ ::) ~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
All is quiet as the household sleeps,
The ghost is heard as she weeps,
Walking along the main stairs,
On she moans avoiding the glares,
Of the poor souls patrolling while she creeps.
Perhaps it is a silly quirk,
Or that zombie is a jerk.
Looking quite insane
Standing in the rain,
An ugly face, need not smirk
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,715 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
We Did, Not, Learn, This, From BRAM STOKER,
That, VLAD, The Impaler, Was, Really, A JOKER;
VLAD Said: "MUAH-HA-HA-HAAAA,
I've, Just, Made THE PUN, OF DRACULA!"
Otherwise, He Was, No, Common, BLOKE, SIR!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,800 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ tynhrt ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
That JAPANESE GIANT MONSTER RETURNS,
No Bridges, Behind HIM, Doth HE BURN;
HIS Radioactive BREATH,
Will Roast, You, To DEATH;
GODZILLA! *Sigh* When, Will We LEARN?!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ tynhrt ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Once when the weather was balmy
I encountered a creature smarmy
With words he did schmooze
His breathe stank of booze
As he told of tales in the army
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 95,875 times)
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY, SLIM-HOTEP, was Buried, ALIVE,
For Foolin', Around, with PHARAOH'S WIVES;
So, It stands, to REASON,
For that Act, of TREASON;
They'd Choose, Not, to Use EMBALMER'S KNIVES!
hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I belong to a vampire sect
And I bite people in the neck!
But they threw me in jail
I have no cash for bail
That's why I'm calling you collect!
How Poe loved to rant and rave,
From his cradle to the grave,
Poetry would then flood,
Sometime with a touch of blood,
Such was his talent that I now crave.
On the Night of the Living Dead,
The whole world will be seized with dread!
The ghouls crave our flesh,
And prefer that it's fresh,
Unless you're quick with a shot to the head!
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk
The monster creeping here unwanted,
Fear not, for we are undaunted.
It had its day,
We had our say
And refuse to be by it haunted.
Of monsters and myths there is a veil,
What is the truth to each far fetched tale,
Are they tall tales set to fear,
I know they are what we love to hear,
A loving tribute told over hill and dale.
I nearly fell flat on my tush.
A zombie lurking in our bush.
It started to cry
And then it did die.
My buttons monsters shouldn't push.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 96,030 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie Confused ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIE HOARD Is Running, AMOK,
The Bullets, I Buy, are Two, For A BUCK;
You Can Derail Their TRAIN,
With A Shot, To The BRAIN;
I MISSED! Hope, You Have Better LUCK!
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie Confused ~ Zombie Cool ~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The situation is very grave.
Ten zombies are here, we must be brave.
I do have a gun
They can not run.
And shamble after brains that they crave.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 96,067 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE ZOMBIES Fell, Off, Of The Cliff, In A RUSH,
We Rolled Boulders, Over, Their Skulls, To CRUSH;
THE ZOMBIES Fell, FLAT,
We Heard The "KER-SPLAT";
We Knew Those Huge Boulders Made ZOMBIE MUSH!
Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I could see beyond his evil smirk.
A senile Vampire, bloody jerk.
His fangs won't go far.
I wore the magic star.
My pulsing veins won't be a perk
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 96,140 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a Vampire, named, MARK,
Who, out, of Boredom, arose, before DARK;
Based, upon that WHIM,
It, Swiftly, became GRIM;
He's, no, longer, able, to do, so, "For A LARK"!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I've somehow turned into a mole.
Digging about in my little hole.
I'm in the dark.
Life is not a lark.
I pray to find my forgotten soul.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 96,220 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, BOB,
Whose Female Breed Branded Him: "SLOB";
Without "PROPER BREEDING",
He's A Dead Duck, at BLEEDING;
His Smile: Gruesome, after Corn-On-The-COB!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 96puts m,614 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
Sometimes, I find, it, Difficult, to EXPRESS,
To keep My Limericks, from being a MESS;
If They, seem, Weak & FLABBY,
I Can Blame, it, on ABBY;
Our Cat, Whose Need, puts Me, to the TEST!
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I went to the doc for a shot,
On my arm he aimed for a good spot.
That night during leisure
I had a freakin' "seizure"!
But I'm ALIVE! Believe it or not!!!
True Story! My daughter is expecting a baby in June, and asked us all to get a booster DTP shot. Well.......Wednesday night.. I woke up to paramedics in my bedroom! My husband witnessed my first and hopefully last seizure, and I am forced to go to a neurologist tomorrow- so I can be cleared to drive a car!! I have been told by 2 other drs. that it was most likely a freakish reaction to the immunization! WHEW!!! And now: Back to your regular Irish Limerick Programming!!!! I love you all!!!!
To dear dear Charlotte with lots of love,
That doctor deserves a big hard shove.
Dared to hurt our friend.
At least its at an end.
And now your can sing like a dove.
Congrats on your newest grandbaby. Take good care of yourself so you can be a beloved Bubbe or whatever you want to be called.
Monsters and vampires are my favorite bit of lore,
Why on many an occasion I have been shown the door,
Shouting their well deserve praise aloud,
After one such rave I ended up in a cloud,
After someone took offence and called me a bore.
All the best sweet Charlotte to you and your family. Get well soon.
p.s was the doctor called Jekyll by any chance.
On a foggy night down by the dock,
Roams a foul fiend under the clock,
With the policeman and reporter in tow,
And Fay Wray with a lovely glow,
Dr X is a classic for the UMA flock.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 96,765 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
On Certain Occasions, LIMERICKS "Put, On AIRS",
At Other Times, They Be, Quite, FAIR And SQUARE;
We May "TALK SMACK",
'Bout FRANKIE, or, DRAC;
But, Dear CHARP, You Have Our Hearts & PRAYERS!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
May Great, Imperishable, and, Long-Time BLESSINGS, Abide,
With, and Between, You, and, All, Your Kin!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 96,871 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Aahhh! Those Gloriously Sweet SUMMER DAYS,
When Our LIMERICK'D Brains, Go, Out, To PLAY;
So, Much, To TAKE, IN,
'Tis A Feast, For The THIN;
A Smorgasbord, Of BLOOD BANKS, On DISPLAY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an vampire who wanted to rob the blood banks,
First he decided to rate them by the quality of blood in their ranks,
Using all his resources at hand,
He and his servant were a merry band,
But they made one mistake the first bank they picked was guarded by tanks.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 97,059 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Writing Limericks Is, Much, Like, Riding A BIKE,
Which We've Done, Since, We were Wee TYKES;
The Landscape, So, FAMILIAR,
The Undead, Still, THRILLS, MORE;
So, DRAC And The Gang, "Hope, That, You Vill LIKE"!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 97,167 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
People, who save Lots, of Junk, are HOARDERS,
Planes Crash, They search, for Flight RECORDERS;
Those, who, love THE UNDEAD,
Writing Limericks, for This THREAD;
Win the Strange UMA Title: "CHILD BOARDERS"!
hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Dracula's daughter put the body upon the funeral pyre,
Her and Sandor had thought of putting him out for hire,
But the Count was now a bit long in the tooth,
His bones were now brittle to tell you the truth,
So as a prize he was useless so let's just light the fire.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 97,505 times)
:o ~~ >:( ~~ :o ~~ :D ~~ :o ~~ >:( ~~ :o ~~ :D
TV HORROR'S Opus, I'll, never, DERIDE,
To Me, He's a Brother, and, Eire's PRIDE;
His Limericks, FIRST-RATE,
Leaves Me, an Addled PATE;
I may Heckle JEKYLL, but, I'll Abide HYDE!
:o ~~ >:( ~~ :o ~~ :D ~~ :o ~~ >:( ~~ :o ~~ :D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 97,550 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA'S Success was the Army, He INFILTRATED,
Disguised, as a Medic, 'til His Supplies, CONFISCATED;
He pretended, to be "The BOSS",
Until He Saw THE RED CROSS;
It was, from BLOOD LOSS, that, He was ANNIHILATED.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 97,641 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
I remember, my Friend, said: "LET'S GO, SEE,
That Amazing Star, of The HORROR MOVIES!"
"He can Transform, into a BAT,
Or, be, Afraid, of a BLACK CAT!"
The ACTOR? None, Other, than BELA LUGOSI!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Frankenstein's monster decided to go on a stomp,
Where would he start maybe close to the swamp,
Or he could head towards the village,
Yeah that's what he will do some pillage,
Look out town folk oh drat I've got cramp.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 97,727 times)
:o ~~~ :-[ ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-[ ~~~ :o
I, once, knew an Incredible Monster, ALFREDO,
Who had the Power, to summon TORNADOES;
The Streets, then, Ran, RED,
But, Not, Like, The UNDEAD;
Our Monster, in question, was a Giant TOMATO!***
:o ~~~ :-[ ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ;) ~~~ :-[ ~~~ :o
*** And, I Coulda Had A V-8!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Ha ha girl I've now got you in my grip,
As my hands tighten you won't slip,
My name is Hyde,
You're now my bride,
Well it sure beats shooting from the hip.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 97,940 times)
ededed ~~~ :-[ ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-[ ~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN planted a GARDEN,
O' Beans, to produce, much, FARDIN';
'Twas a BUMPER CROP,
He sold, Them, in SHOPS;
A Meal, to make You say: "PARDON!"***
ededed ~~~ :-[ ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-[ ~~~ ededed
*** THAT'S USIN' THE OLD BEANO!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The vampire heard of some batty book,
And so decided to have a quick look,
As he had a bad tooth,
He looked into the booth,
Phil McCavity was the name on the nook.
Silence rules over the rugged peaks of Borgo pass,
Our dear friend Carla has died a true lady of class,
No more re-counting to Renfield,
With each passing tree and field,
Rest easy our beloved bespectacled lass.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 98,641 times)
Rebecca Isabelle "Carla" Laemmle
(October 20, 1909 – June 12, 2014)
:'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :-* ~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'(
The Long-Reigning Matriarch, O' The LAEMMLE'S,
Was Considered, "MOM", By Our UMA FANG-MILY;
That Young Girl, We ADORED,
Reached A HUNDRED & FOUR!
You Can't Blame Me, If I Shed A Tear, Now, CAN YE?!
:'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~ :-* ~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'(
POSTS-CRYPT:
I Didn't Know, That HER Birthday Was The Same, As BELA'S!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
His Lordship was sent a large mysterious box,
Summoning his servants with the threat of the pox,
Get this ugly thing opened now,
And don't have me wondering how,
Master it's a mummy can't you hear its knocks.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 99,107 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;D
THE CREATURE Decided, Upon Moving, And, SOON,
For A Young Woman Sang His Heart a New TUNE;
'Tho' It, All, Seemed, So, UNREAL,
Her Name Is BROOKE SHIELDS;
So, He's Leaving The BLACK, For THE BLUE LAGOON!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I once knew a little canary who hated our cat,
Every day it would fly high then land on my mat,
I had thought of calling him Bob,
But for some reason it made him sob,
I later found out he made our feline into a fur hat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 99,210 times)
hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ ::) ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt
THE MUMMY traveled, quite, FAR,
His Desire was, to Travel, to MARS;
Still, stuck, upon EARTH,
The Planet, of His BIRTH;
He became Music's First WRAP-STAR!
hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ ::) ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Years ago I saw a bike move by itself,
Then I sat in the pub under a shelf,
And the bottles flew by an unseen hand,
Never in my life as I knew the lay of the land,
These strange things after Griffin came with his wealth.
I know not why it broke again,
It must be the fault of those men.
The machine I lack,
Is finally back.
So now I can put down the pen.
Renfield for the last time cure this rust,
Every night I am ready to bust,
Creaks and squeaks,
That is all I seek,
A working coffin keeping me from turning to dust.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 99,380 times)
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
The NOBLEMAN, no, longer, seeks Duels, or, FIGHTS,
A Fatal Wound has sent, him, on his Eternal FLIGHT;
He got his "Just DESSERTS",
He's "Filling, Out, His SHIRT";
At an Ice Cream Mountain, He's a "SUNDAE KNIGHT"!
:o ~~~~ ??? ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a boy named Karswell,
He loved to dress up as a clown swell,
Although he was a mama's boy,
He applied himself with a Tarot toy,
With runes to call demons from Hell.
Look, I'm not such a dummy.
Not to fear this noisome Mummy.
Lacking his master,
I must run faster.
Oh why is my back so crummy?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 99,530 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o
One Very Dark and Stormy Night, THE UNDEAD,
Launched Their Insidious Quest, to Move, AHEAD;
But, Their Vile Plan, DERAILED,
Thus, Their Domination, FAILED;
Van HELSING Staked Them, in Their COFFIN-BEDS!
:o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
He found a head and a body and tried to match it,
While he only had a faulty headed ratchet,
First he tried the nearby bolts,
Failing that he called them dolts,
Young Fronkensteen then relied on a hatchet.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 99,597 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN threw the Huge BOULDER,
At Villagers, whose attacks became BOLDER;
Since, none, He called "FRIEND",
He Hurled, Them, Again and AGAIN;
Many, there, would, not, grow, a Day, OLDER!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 99,599 times)
POST'S-CRYPT: A Very Large PALINDROME.... Carry, On!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 99,730 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
FRITZ, really, wasn't considered, too, BRIGHT,
THE MONSTER, he'd torment, with FIRE-LIGHT;
Once, from His shackles, set, FREE,
The Dr's Assistant soiled his BVDS;
FRITZ Proved, to be A Bully, too, afraid, to FIGHT!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 99,942 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA and His Wives were, all, DISMAYED,
How Latter Generations, The UNDEAD, PORTRAYED;
From Their Humble BEGINNINGS,
Into a Game, of NINE INNINGS;
Vast VAMPIRE Empires, i.e., UNDERWORLD, to BLADE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 100,060 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
WE'VE PASSED THE HUNDRED-THOUSAND MARK!
Thanks, Dear READERS, You're THE REAL SPARK;
That Inflames Our FAN-atical DESIRE,
By Which LIMERICK Writers Do ASPIRE;
We'll add, more, BITE, to Our CHOCOLATE BARK!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 100,360 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE CLASSIC MONSTERS' Duel had BEGUN,
THE WOLFMAN Ran, from DRACULA'S GUN;
Its Silver Bullets weren't FAKE,
Howe'er, All, that, it did TAKE;
Was Chaining COUNT DRACULA, out, in The SUN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 100,419 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
Our Country was Ruled, by a MAD KING,
Which We found, to be, MOST, TAXING;
A REVOLUTION, We ENDURED,
I.E., YORKTOWN & VALLEY FORGE;
238 Years, Now, We've Let FREEDOM RING!
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 100,568 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA was ready, poised, to ATTACK,
His Chosen Victim, whom, He, long, had TRACKED;
Yea, long, hotly, PURSUING,
His Nemesis, Van HELSING;
Too, late, as He beheld the Dawn's Light, CRACK!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 100,678 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
The WEREWOLVES' intent, was PLAYING A JOKE,
Their Victim? Just, some, poor, unsuspecting, BLOKE;
They "Turned", 'neath the FULL MOON,
To Their Horror, found, out, too, SOON;
That, JIM HAMMOND could send, Them, UP, IN SMOKE!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 100,737 times)
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o
BRUCE, THE SHARK, Attained FAME, in JAWS,
He ate QUINT, Played, by ROBERT SHAW;
Poached, or, HARD-BOILED,
It kept, Him, WELL-OILED;
He Loved the CAPTAIN, Best, EATEN, RAW!
:o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~ Zombie Cool ~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 100,844 times)
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~ :angel: ~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
'Tis July, so, I cannot tie JUNE, to SPOON,
I could try, but, you'd think, me, a LOON;
Yet, tonight, do, not, CRY,
Cast your Eyes, to the SKY;
Fairly, Rare, in Orb's Fortune: SUPERMOON!
{&, No, We're, not, discussing SUPERMAN'S Gluteal Complex!}
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~ :angel: ~~ :blank: ~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Posts-Crypt:
A "Like", from Thee, Fairest CHARP, Doth Light, Up, my Day! Thankee!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 100,870 times)
:) ~~~ :D ~~~ :laugh: ~~ ;D ~~ :o ~~~ :-\ ~~~ :-[
Sweet SPRINGTIME starts, off, with a CRAWL,
And, by Mid-JUNE, really, gets, ON THE BALL;
But, I'll tell ya, no, LIE,
Past The FOURTH, Of JULY;
SUMMER takes a Nose-Dive, Right, Into FALL!
{Next, Up, ALL-HALLOW'S-E'EN!!!}
:) ~~~ :D ~~~ :laugh: ~~ ;D ~~ :o ~~~ :-\ ~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 100,938 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY'S Sarcophagus was, swiftly, SEIZED,
IM-HOTEP seemed, Safe, until, inside, He SNEEZED;
With His very loud "ACHOOOOO!"
None, said: "GOD BLESS YOU!";
"I'm, under a CURSE!" Said He, not, very, PLEASED!
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 101,010 times)
:-[ ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~ :-[ ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :-[
We're, up, Now, into the Six FIGURES,
The Numbers, just, keep getting BIGGER;
'Tis, Impossible, to CLONE,
A Good PALINDROME;
So, Anything, Close - I'll Pull The TRIGGER!
:-[ ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ :-[ ~~ ::) ~~ :-[ ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 101,144 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ;D ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
QUASIMODO ran, away, from NOTRE DAME,
He went, Hoping, to find His BIRTH-MOM;
'Tho', not, finding His MOTHER,
He met His TWIN-BROTHER;
Who, also, shared His Affliction, named, TOM!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~ ;D ~~ :o ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 101,185 times)
??? ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-[ ~~ :-X ~~ :-[ ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ???
SHERLOCK begged Scotland Yard's PARDON,
He made a Meal, which left, them, All, FARTIN';
This Supreme, Deductive, PUNDIT,
Who Solved Every WHO-DONE-IT;
Put the Recipe, in BETTER HOLMES & GARDENS!
??? ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-[ ~~ :-X ~~ :-[ ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 101,238 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
This Poor Man inhabited a World, UNDEAD and GHOSTLY,
Forces forced Him, to be, "Not, Of This World", MOSTLY;
Cast, oft, as, an unholy TERROR,
The World should've been FAIRER;
Drought ought, to Stop The RAIN, of UMBRELLA LUGOSI!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 101,288 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES, Their "Trade", were PLYING,
With People, all, about Them, Bitten & DYING;
Recruited, for DRAC,
They, all, came, BACK;
They went Batty, and, then, They were FLYING!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I am sorry that I am late.
Was stopped by the fiend at the gate.
I am not a dummy.
I knew he's a mummy.
And told him that Drac was my date.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 101,404 times)
:blank: ~~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~~~ :blank:
Ignoring the Obvious THREAT,
The WOLF MAN went, to his VET;
With his Shots, for RABIES,
Plus, Fleas, Mange & SCABIES;
You ain't seen the last, of HIM, YET!
:blank: ~~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 101,599 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o
RENFIELD, Really, did, NOT, want, to DIE,
"MERCY!" He begged, of The COUNT, with a CRY;
"With, All, that Blood, on my HANDS,
For, which, I can't make AMENDS;
I Won't Be Allowed, into THAT SWEET BY AND BY!"
:o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 101,828 times)
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-[ ~~ ;D ~~ :-[ ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
WOW! Two-Hundred and Twenty-Nine READS!
In One, Single, DAY, by Readers, Who, SPEED;
Numbers mounting This FAST,
Leave, Moi, Feeling, OUT-CLASSED;
I Must Churn, Out, More, or, else, Go, To SEED!
:o ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-[ ~~ ;D ~~ :-[ ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 101,980 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
Quite, a wearying day, comes, to an END,
So, I strolled, over, to visit My FRIENDS;
I look, forward, to Our FUTURE,
With Replacement Parts, SUTURED;
In Our Wheelchairs, and, wearing DEPENDS!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,105 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
ERIK was Brooding, over His recent LOSS,
"My Love, for CHRISTINE came, at Great COST";
Did she find Me, too, REPULSIVE,
Or, My Love, too, EXCLUSIVE;
'Til I Die, I'll count, Her, as My Heaviest CROSS!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,190 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
'Tis observed, that, arising, from the GRAVE,
Is a natural penchant, for The Churlish KNAVE;
They bring, to Bright MEADOWS,
Their Night, of Dark SHADOWS;
Seeking, to Destroy, The Good and The BRAVE.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,292 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN entered the GAME,
His Great Pleasure, to Kill, or, MAIM;
He exhibited,such, GUSTO,
In Serving MEPHISTO;
Always, Happy, to take the BLAME!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,388 times)
??? ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ ???
The MORLOCKS' Leader told his Clan, to HUSH,
He said: "I don't want, to cause, a FUSS!"
"But, for what it's WORTH,
We're, in the Bowels, of the EARTH;
So, I ask you... What does, that, make US?!"
??? ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ ???
C EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,430 times)
Zombie Alien ~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~ Zombie Alien
THE CYCLOPS has His Eye, on YOU,
He will invite You, to DINNER, TOO;
If You don't show, up, LATE,
You'll, still, Fill HIS PLATE;
'Twouldst Be a Fate, Forever, to RUE!
Zombie Alien ~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~ Zombie Alien
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I you must know why I am a wreck,
The blame is on that HP tech.
I got no support.
No fix, it fell short.
Please Drac bite their techs on the neck.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,540 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA, as Mist, poured, out, of His COFFIN,
Assumed Human Form and Began COUGHIN';
"I'm, not, big, on DOM FROLLO,
But, I Love QUASIMODO;
Played, by, either, LON, SR., or, LAUGHTON!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,588 times)
:blank: ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ 8) ~~ :-* ~~ 8) ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :blank:
An ALIEN Invasion, from a Far, Solar SYSTEM,
Fought, to Discover LOVE, I tried, to RESIST 'EM;
We met, Face-To-FACE,
My Brain got ERASED;
Gorgeous, Alien, Women, Now, I ASSIST 'EM!
:blank: ~~~~ :-[ ~~~ 8) ~~ :-* ~~ 8) ~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,640 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
I Remember FANTASY ISLAND - INSANE!
TATTOO, yelling: "Look, Boss, The PLANE!"
Not, too, long, BEFORE,
What HISTORY, BORE;
Was the War-Cry: "Remember The MAINE!"
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,740 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
So, The DAWN, of a New Week, BEGINS,
You'll Ride Seven Days, Thick, &, THIN;
"I hope, you vill like it",
&, DRAC doesn't "spike" it;
Or, as Renfield, He'll take you "for a SPIN"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
You really must stop that Growling.
Plus I hate all of your Howling.
It is not a thrill.
To pick up you kill.
Lock down for you, cease that YOWLING.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,808 times)
8) ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~ hmjfym ~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ 8)
One-Hundred and Ninety-One PAGES,
Thanks, to our UMA LIMERICK SAGES;
When, All, Is Said and DONE,
We, Still, Go, for THE PUN;
Your Laughter, or, Groan, is Our WAGES!
8) ~~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~ hmjfym ~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I always attempt good deeds
And plant and water my seeds.
Something is amiss.
Which explains this hiss.
GET OUT OF MY GARDEN .. WEEDS!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 102,920 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA arrived, in England, by SHIP,
To Taste MINA HARKER'S Blood, as it DRIPPED;
Whilst, under, His SWAY,
He could, not, get, AWAY;
Van HELSING made Him Pay! "I Say, Pip, PIP!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,018 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz
THE BLOB hath, No, Hair, 'pon His PATE,
His APPETITE'S Urgency Cannot WAIT;
He hath, No, FRILLS,
Like, Scales, or, GILLS;
Expresses a Need, to Feed, on ATE-ATE!
Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,112 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S Wives, I have KISSED,
Such Beauty is, Most, Difficult, to RESIST;
'Tis, True, what the HECK,
That, We Like, "To NECK";
I've, just, learned, DRAC is, quite, PISSED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Who are you attempting to scare?
If it's me, I really don't care.
Show me your tongue.
I'll rip out your lung.
Or maybe I'll pul outl your hair.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,159 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLVES went, into a SWOON,
Bathed, in the Rays, of a SUPERMOON;
Their Powers, INCREASED,
Alas, so, did Their FLEAS;
They won't be Attacking, Anyone, SOON!
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,185 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
I Mourn Our Great Loss, of ROBIN WILLIAMS,
His Humorous Talents brought Laughter, to MILLIONS;
Such, an Amazing GOAL,
Reached, by a Tortured SOUL;
May His sorrow Be Erased, In THE LIGHT, BRILLIANT!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,325 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA could be, Cruel, and, TYRANNIC,
By Twists and Turns, Depressed, or, MANIC;
He was going, INSANE,
So, He flew, to SPAIN;
To Drink, of The Hot-Blooded HISPANICS!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,370 times)
:'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'(
THE CREATURE swam, far, AWAY,
To find a New Place, to STAY;
You know, that, its TRUE,
The Lagoon made him, BLUE;
A LOVE, Lost, left Him, BETRAYED.
:'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,420 times)
:'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-*
I sing the Praises, of MAGOO GELEHRTER,
GAROU, Our Clowne-Prince BERSERKER;
He Lived a Heart, so, SUNNY,
To Spread His Gift, of FUNNY;
In Laughter's LIGHT, We'll meet him, LATER!
:'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~ :angel: ~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-*
MAGOO was The Best. I was unaware, of His Passing, until today.
I happened, upon a copy, of the current issue, of HORRORHOUND
Magazine, which held a small "IN MEMORIAM" Panel, containing
His name. I seldom view THE CEMETERY Thread, so, I didn't realize,
that, it occurred, in late-Spring, whilst BETH & I were, on Vacation.
Heart-Felt Prayers, to DANIELLE and The FAMILY!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,500 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
GUSTAV NIEMANN was a Crazy NUT,
Putting human brains, into MUTTS;
DRACULA was a Fool, to TRUST,
It got Him, returned, to DUST;
FRANKIE dragged the DOC, into a RUT*!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
{*Of QUICKSAND!
THE MONSTER thought He said: "QUICK SANDWICH!"...
Or, Mayhap : "QUICHE SANDWICH!" Yuummm!}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie went straight for our head.
Nonsense was the babble he said.
Stealing our new cleaner,
He couldn't be meaner.
Zombie is clearly the brain dead.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,540 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~ :'( ~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I Am , so, Sorry, for My DELAY,
I missed The Date, YESTERDAY;
Our Oldest FRIEND,
Yes, BELA, AGAIN;
58 Years, since He "Vent, AVAY"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~ :'( ~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,577 times)
:blank: ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ :blank:
This Morning Recalls The Feeling, of FALL,
Time, Still, Remains, to Answer, the CALL;
Of Summer's Green SONG,
'Til We Must Send It, ALONG;
Then, Soon: "HAPPY HALLOWEEN, Y'ALL!"
:blank: ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,640 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY Inflicted Shock and FEAR,
Amidst The Small Towns, Far and NEAR;
Despite His Cruel RAMPAGE,
He was, not, Slow, from AGE;
'Twas, from Tippling TANA-LEAF BEER!
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,700 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
A LIMERICK Ode, to Our MONSTER CAUSE,
Is, All, about Scales, Hair, Fangs & CLAWS;
'Tis Our CLASSIC REASON,
Fills, More, than a SEASON;
My Best Guess: I'm a Limerick SANTA CLAUSE!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
What more can possibly be said?
A mass explosion of undead.
Zombies without brains.
Lurking in our lanes.
Not an E.E.G. that to be read.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,777 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER, in Anger, didst SMITE,
Causing ye Locals, Quite, Some, Serious, FRIGHT;
That Night's FULL-MOON,
Revealed a Blighted LOON;
Who Imagined, Himself, to be a Gallant KNIGHT!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,857 times)
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
S. SPIELBERG'S Park had a sick TRICERATOPS,
C. CHAPLIN encountered THE KEYSTONE KOPS;
SCULLY had MULDER,
Now, I sound, OLDER;
'Cos A. FIEDLER conducted THE BOSTON POPS!
::) ~~~~ :o ~~~ ;) ~~ :o ~~ ;) ~~~ :o ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,930 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o
The VILLAGERS, were, All, Really, FREAKIN',
Evil MONSTERS, left, their Town, WEAKENED;
They Begged, for a HERO,
But, ended, up, with NERO;
Who Fiddled, about, most, of the WEEKEND!
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 103,990 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ :laugh: ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
MONSTERS, & GHOSTS, have, long, held a GRUDGE,
For, being Second Bananas, to THE THREE STOOGES;
Or, to Those FUNNY FELLOWS,
Called ABBOTT & COSTELLO;
'Tis a Serious Point, from which, They won't BUDGE!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ :laugh: ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,004 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The BATS Fly, out, upon the Autumn WINDS,
As Silent, as the Night, They make, no, DIN;
Their Objective, very, SIMPLE,
To give Us, all, Goose PIMPLES;
Intent, upon Feeding, so, They're, not, so, THIN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Fred.
Who didn't want to be undead.
Thus all that he drank.
Was from the blood bank.
So that none would have to be bled.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,034 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Strange, the Way, in which, The VAMPIRE DIED,
His Last Meal, something, New, that, He TRIED;
The Menu was TAINTED,
He ate It, and, FAINTED,
Then, Perished, for consuming, STAKE and FRIES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,111 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
This WEEK has been Flying, by, Too, FAST,
My Energy wavers, listless, at HALF-MAST;
WORK is a Blood-Sucking FIEND,
I'm, sure, You know, what I MEAN;
Tomorrow, I'll say: "Another, One, PASSED!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,197 times)
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
'Nother Friday done, Come and GONE,
It ain't Science, WERNHER Von BRAUN;
I'm ahead, of my TIME,
Nose, full, of Green SLIME;
That ain't Sumthin', I've tried, to PAWN!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,277 times)
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~ ??? ~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
The Insidious Curse, of FU MANCHU;
Begins, when He says: "HOW'JA DO?"
It progesses, from THERE,
With His Cold, Icy, STARE!
So, Run, Quickly! Leave PAGE 192!
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~ ??? ~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,333 times)
:'( ~~~ >:( ~~ :( ~ ::) ~ :) ~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D
THE SUN has Set, on SUNDAY,
Now, We'll Moan, about MONDAY;
TUESDAY is, "on the WAY",
WEDNESDAY is, just, OKAY;
THURSDAY Tries, FRIDAY Flies, AWAY!
:'( ~~~ >:( ~~ :( ~ ::) ~ :) ~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie threw the plant at a cat.
Trying to make it go splat.
The cat gave a hiss.
Potted plant did miss.
Mean and brainless, no chance at that.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,401 times)
:D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~~ 8) ~~~~ thrhrt
We're Done, with PAGE ONE-NINETY-TWO,
Seriously, It's, Sooo, Over, It's THROUGH;
193, Our New HOME,
With This PALINDROME;
By the way, COUNT DRACULA Is, After YOU!!
:D ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~~ 8) ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,444 times)
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~ :-* ~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
Looking, FOUR-ward, to a TUESDAY MELD,
Decades, ago, 'twas, for TUESDAY WELD;
But, TIME MOVES, ON,
For MONSTER SPAWN;
Good Memories, o' Her Charms, BEHELD!
::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~ :-* ~ ::) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,491 times)
tynhrt ~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ :o ~~ tynhrt
IMAGINE: Your Life's a COMEDIC JOKE,
'Til MONSTERS try, to make You CROAK;
DRAC wants Your BRAIN,
Inside FRANKIE'S "DOMAIN";
LARRY TALBOTT tries, to Save, You, BLOKE!
tynhrt ~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ :o ~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,567 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
"I told you, that, you were a WINNER,
Now, see, you are, so, much, THINNER!"
Said COUNT A LA CARTE,
Releasing a F*RT;
"Nice, of you, to turn, up, FOR DINNER!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,618 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE COUNT was Attempting, to be POLITE,
By, Subtly, Resisting His Urge, to BITE;
The View, SPECTACULAR,
Was, not, Lost, on DRACULA;
Her Jugular, Pulsed, 'neath Skin, so, WHITE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,665 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ >:D ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
I get the Feeling, that, I'm being FLEECED,
Labeled, as: "The Neighbour, of THE BEAST";
If, that, Rings a BELL,
I've lived, through HELL;
And, Pray, that, "1 #, more", IS DECEASED!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~ >:D ~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,704 times)
Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
THE AMBIGUOUS CREATURES ARRIVED,
Upon Peoples' FEARS, They THRIVED;
Hiding, under the BED,
Or, in Coffins, of LEAD;
Can, only, be Stopped, by Blessed KNIVES!
Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~ Zombie Cool ~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,777 times)
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
THE MUMMY was, Older, than METHUSELAH,
Set, up, His current digs, in the Land, LA-LA;
For a Really, Hefty, FEE,
Sells His TANA LEAF TEA;
To Those RICH Celebrities! MUAH-HA-HA-HA!
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,825 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
In VENICE, I found a HUGE BOA,
Ancient, From THE ARK, with NOAH;
Take it, from ME,
If you visit ITALY;
"A-be Careful, a-where You GOAH!"
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,911 times)
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
WESTINGHOUSE had Lovely BETTY FURNESS,
THE MOB had, to Mess, with ELLIOTT NESS;
TEXACO had ED WYNN,
&, like, Siamese TWINS,
We're, All, Con-JOINED, AT THE HIP-STERNESS!
:angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~ ;) ~~ :-* ~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,950 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
You've got, to Admire, olde DRAC,
Of Lovely Wives, He's got a STACK;
At First Bite, He'd SCARE 'EM,
They, then, Joined His HAREM;
Renfield's Job is, to pick, up the SLACK!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 104,980 times)
:-* ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ :-*
I Acknowledge these Autumn RAINS,
'Tis, so, good, to see, them, AGAIN;
September's DREAR,
Hath Hit HIGH-GEAR;
As HALLOWEEN Dreams fill My BRAIN!
:-* ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,007 times)
8) ~~ 8) ~~ 8) ~~ ;) ~~ 8) ~~ 8) ~~ 8)
I add this Limerick, to ABSCOND,
With 007, a.k.a., JAMES BOND;
I'm, in Fine FETTLE,
To Test My METTLE;
On the Things, of which, I'm FOND.
8) ~~ 8) ~~ 8) ~~ ;) ~~ 8) ~~ 8) ~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,050 times)
Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Grin
There, once, was a Zombie, named MARCUS,
Whose Body was a Most, Putrid, CARCASS;
Our Lad, still, PLUCKY,
Once, even, got LUCKY;
With FM's Man Aging Editor PHYLLIS FARKAS!
Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Grin ~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,170 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA tried, to EXPLAIN,
Just, how, He had claimed His DOMAIN;
"To talk, of Olde BATTLES,
Is, mere, Childish, PRATTLE;
By Killing, They could, not, COMPLAIN!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,222 times)
:blank: ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~ :'( ~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :blank:
I know, that, you think, that, I'm NUTS,
But, We're Tired, of Spilling Our GUTS;
You carve, up, Our FACES,
Set, Us, out, in Dark PLACES;
Where We ROT, but, You're, IN A RUT!!
:blank: ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~ :'( ~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,307 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
IM-HOTEP felt the Weariness, of UNDEATH,
"I'd, really, Love, to take a Deep BREATH;
This Curse is, So, UNREAL,
Mother, of, All, RAW DEALS;
Occult Powers, BAH! Humanity, Little, LEFT."
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,400 times)
;) ~~~ ??? ~~ ::) ~ :-* ~ ::) ~~ ??? ~~~ ;)
I'm getting, way, ahead, of MYSELF,
Wishing, that, I was SANTA'S ELF;
I'd have, so, much, PULL,
Up, at The NORTH POLE;
That, I'd, not, be stuck, on a SHELF!
;) ~~~ ??? ~~ ::) ~ :-* ~ ::) ~~ ??? ~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,472 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool
THE BLOB rolled, into a TOWN,
Where He looked, all, AROUND;
The place was DEAD,
Everyone had FLED;
Turning His smile, into a FROWN!
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,588 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~ ;) ~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt
Scarce, a Day goes, by, 'less, I'm SICK,
That, I've Failed, to Produce a LIMERICK;
DRAC told Me, It was FATE,
This Vile, Undesirable, TRAIT;
A Lousy Treat, but, One, Helluva, TRICK!
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~ ;) ~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,652 times)
::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::)
Once, again, as I seem, to RECALL,
We enter, into the Season, of FALL;
Summer slips, into AUTUMN,
By "Falling", on Its BOTTOM;
You can hear Jack-O-Lantern's CALL!
::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ :-* ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,733 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPYR drank, too, much, BLOOD,
He BURST, leaving, only, RED SUDS;
He went, out, with a BANG,
They found His Left FANG;
& Gruesome Remains, they call "CRUD"!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,901 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA spoke: "I don't mean, to GRIPE,
But, really, it is, just, so, much, TRIPE;
Do, We, Sparkle, in the SUN?!
Is that some Kind, of PUN?!
Some Writer's Brain Smells, Overly, RIPE!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 105,995 times)
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
I went looking, for MISTER HYDE,
Found, out, He was Fit, to be TIED;
The Cops, closing, IN,
He'd pay, for His SINS;
Especially, The Big One, of PRIDE!
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,065 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
"It's, just, way, too, much, of a HASSLE,
I've been trying, to clean, up, This CASTLE!"
"I've worked, 'til I've CRIED!"
Said DRACULA'S BRIDE;
"& RENFIELD is One, Worthless, A$$HLE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,106 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
In This Theme, We touch, upon "DOUBLES",
From Chewing Gum TWINS, to Soap BUBBLES;
Or, take a Brave SPIN,
To BORIS' STAND-IN;
Who went, Unrecognized, for His TROUBLES!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,160 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA had, to make ROOM,
For BRIDES, He brought, to His TOMB;
"If I can't have MINA,
I'll bring, in DELPHINA;
She'll brighten, up, all, this GLOOM!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,218 times)
tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt
SEPTEMBER Is, Soon, to Become a DREAM,
A Mere Memory, of Something, We've SEEN;
Like, A UNIVERSAL CLASSIC,
Or, a PICKLE, Named VLASIC;
May Its Taste, remain, Yummy ICE-CREAM!
tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,270 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
I'm told, that, THE BLOB went "NUTTY",
IT Fell, In Love, ... With SILLY PUTTY;
I know, It's a STRETCH,
Nearly, made Me, RETCH;
Their Kids Look, Quite, ELMER FUDD-Y!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,330 times)
:blank: 30 Days, &, COUNTING! :blank:
tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt
A WEREWOLF, is, reportedly, MEAN,
My Curse Began, in My Early TEENS;
It could've been, WORSE,
Like, The Vampire CURSE;
'Tis October 1st: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~ ededed ~ thrhrt ~ ededed ~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,377 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
I, once, Lived, on Palm Hearts, and, FIGS,
When I Died, People Loved My Last DIGS;
You sure ain't no DUMMY,
If You know I'm a MUMMY;
My Digs dug, up, Now, I'm, REALLY, BIG!
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,450 times)
::) ~~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
You Thought, You Saw A VAMPIRE BAT,
"You Killed My Brother, YOU DOITY RAT!"
Start, Over, With A CLEAN SLATE,
And, EDUCATE An ENTIRE STATE:
"YOU TAUGHT UTAH, A PUDDY TAT!!!!"
::) ~~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~ ;) ~~ ::) ~~ ::) ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,530 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
I Watched The VAMPIRE Horde ATTACK,
Their LEADER, None, Other, than DRAC;
I Saw Rivers, of RED,
My Friends are, All, DEAD;
Now, I'm UNDEAD, too... That's a FACT!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,615 times)
>:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:(
GHENGIS KHAN had, to stick, to His GUNS,
With His Command, to "Hustle Their BUNS!"
Yet, I saw His HORDE,
When They got BORED;
Play "Dress, Up", &, BUSTLE THEIR HUNS!
>:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,678 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ;) ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
LIMERICKS are Composed, of FIVE LINES,
They AGE, Much, like, Very, FINE WINES;
So, take a BIG SNORT,
Of 3, Long, &, 2, SHORT;
Plus, Add a Cool Picture, of FRANKENSTEIN!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ;) ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,725 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
They ride the night-sky, upon WINGS,
By Blood, Related, to Ancient KINGS;
No Funeral PYRE,
They are VAMPIRE;
A Song, of Horror, Their Lineage SINGS!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,825 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
I loved, Him, 'cos, He was, so, SPORTY,
He'd, never, back, down, from a SORTIE;
His Genius rang, TRUE,
And, Miss, Him, I DO;
JOHN LENNON, Born, This Day, in 1940.
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,883 times)
tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt
KHARIS was feeling, quite, DRY,
"My Dusty Tomb made Me CRY;
Millenia, ALONE,
Dry, as a BONE;
Now, Tana Leaf Tea gets Me HIGH!"
tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 106,930 times)
:angel: ~~ :blank:~~ >:( ~~ ;D ~~ >:( ~~ :blank: ~~ :angel:
QUASIMODO was, just, a TEEN,
And, Feared, as BEING, MEAN;
AHEAD, of His TIME,
He spoke This RHYME;
"Not, Mean - HAPPY! HALLOWEEN!"
:angel: ~~ :blank:~~ >:( ~~ ;D ~~ >:( ~~ :blank: ~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Alas, you will not go to jail
For not returning my email
We like the mummy
Not the same dummy
I know that as a friend you fail
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,027 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Cool
The ZOMBIES have learned, how, to DANCE,
Like, Les Folies Bergère, in Paris, FRANCE;
WEIRD, but, it's TRUE!
I saw Their REVUE;
Not, once, did they do their "Brains" RANTS!
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~ Zombie LOL ~ Zombie Mad ~ Zombie LOL ~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,130 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I must be a CREATURE, Of The NIGHT,
Nocturnal Slumber is, Often, a FIGHT;
Then, in a DAZE,
My Days, A MAZE;
Thanks, to My Somnambulist BLIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,230 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
Van HELSING awaited, in a STAKE-OUT,
For DRACULA, while He went for TAKE-OUT;
Doc drove a big TANK,
To a local BLOOD BANK;
To Blast The COUNT, when He CAME, OUT.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,307 times)
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ Zombie Mad ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
THE GIANT Laughed! "FIDDLE-DEE-DEE!"
"There is, None, Other, as BIG, As ME!"
Then, GODZILLA APPEARED,
Beyond, The Big Man's FEARS;
FIERY BREATH! NOTHING, LEFT, TO SEE!
:o ~~~ :o ~~ :o ~ Zombie Mad ~ :o ~~ :o ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,480 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Cool
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named RUFUS,
The ZOMBIE Horde thought, him, a DOOFUS;
He tried, hard, to BITE,
Could, not, get, it, RIGHT;
They said: "Dude! Are you trying, to SPOOF US?!"
{So, They ATE Him!}
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,530 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
This Autumn Season is Running, ALONG,
I Can Hear ALL-HALLOWS' E'EN'S SONG;
It's, Really, SOMETHIN',
The Costumes & PUMPKINS;
So, EMBRACE IT; It doesn't, Last, LONG!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,620 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS, They, ALL, Like, SOME GRUE,
WE Love Their Movies! We GREW, SOME, TOO;
We've, Even, Taken BATHS,
With SOAKIES Arts & CRAFTS;
+ Our MONSTER-KID Museums Prove, Us, TRUE!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,687 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I Thought, of HIM, Today, OUT, OF THE BLUE,
Added, up, the Years; WOW! ONE-THIRTY-TWO;
His Name was BELA,
Such, a Swell FELLA;
We Remember His BIRTH, with Hearts, So, TRUE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,822 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz
IT was BIGGER, than TEN ELEPHANTS,
This MONSTER, that, Wore, NO, PANTS;
In ITS Death, FED, MANY,
For, LESS, than A PENNY;
Gotta LOVE Those GIANT EGGPLANTS!
Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,905 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
THE CAT Pounces, and, Then, Deftly, CREEPS,
Her Intent: To Scatter, My SLUMBER-SHEEP;
Aye, Her MASTER PLAN,
Is My PETTING HAND;
Keep, Me, AWAKE, as She BEAUTY-SLEEPS!
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 107,940 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel:
I Forgot, to Remember, to SAY,
It Happens, when Age, Holds SWAY;
Caught, by SURPRISE,
I'll tell Ya, NO, LIES;
TODAY is, AGAIN, Moi BIRTHDAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,005 times)
:o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o
THE WEREWOLVES prepared, to do BATTLE,
THE VAMPIRES treated, them, like, CATTLE;
The Olde City was TORN,
From Sunset, 'til DAWN;
Man, things got Wild and Rough, in SEATTLE!
:o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o ~~ thrhrt ~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,080 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I Suffer, From MACULAR DEGENERATION,
Vision Impaired, At The BORGO PASS STATION;
Despite A FULL MOON,
It Proved, NO, BOON;
Sight, Enuf, I See DRACULA'S REGENERATION!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,145 times)
:blank: ~~~ :o ~~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ :o ~~~ :blank:
The Bright Colours, of Autumn, ABOUND,
The Same, can be said, of EVIL CLOWNS;
OCTOBER'S DYING FACE,
Holds a GHASTLY EMBRACE:
HALLOWEEN'S Spooky Sights & SOUNDS!
:blank: ~~~ :o ~~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~~ :o ~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,215 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA had, way, too, much, TIME,
So, He decided, to become a MIME;
He Let, Off, Lots, of STEAM,
Gave His Victims BAD DREAMS;
His Wives Agreed, that, it was a CRIME!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,277 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA knew, He was SMART,
Van HELSING, to Him, a mere UPSTART;
Yet, One, Fatal, SLIP,
Caught, in His CRYPT;
The Doctor made Him "STAKE ALUCARD"!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,377 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ tynhrt * hmjfym * tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
FRANKENSTEIN Arrived, in a CRATE,
At Night, to McDougal's, by FREIGHT;
WILBUR and CHICK,
Started, out, THICK;
But, Wised, Up, 'ere, it was, too, LATE!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~ tynhrt * hmjfym * tynhrt ~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,444 times)
hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym
'Tis THE NIGHT, Before, Excitement, BUILDING,
The HOURS, Numbered, HALLOWEEN, SHIELDING;
I hope, You're WELL-GROOMED,
With FANTASTIC COSTUME,
+, Ample TREATS, Yet, Few, Libations SWILLING!
hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,477 times)
:blank: ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ :blank:
THIS NIGHT, Very, Soon: ALL-HALLOW'S E'EN,
Paint THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER, GREEN;
DRACULA'S Face, Deathly WHITE,
But, Don't Let Him BITE;
THE WOLF-MAN'S Fur, Greys & Browns, for 2014!
:blank: ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ tynhrt ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,520 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
HALLOWEEN put, on, Quite, A SHOW,
With RAINY WINDS, that, didst BLOW;
A Much, Greater, FRIGHT,
Arrived, After MIDNIGHT;
When I AWOKE, to an INCH, of SNOW!
:angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,550 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
"The Times, They Are A-Changin'", It's a FACT,
The Importance, of Which, not, Lost, on DRAC;
"In SPRING, Less, NIGHT,
Now, More, Time, to BITE;
I Hunt, for a Full Hour, More, at 'FALL-BACK'"!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,625 times)
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
Too, soon, another Sunday NIGHT,
Again, the Weekend takes FLIGHT;
I don't mean, to be a JERK,
'Cos, I, really, Love My WORK;
Like, a VAMPIRE, It, too, can BITE!
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,687 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie In Luv
THE CREATURE Departed, Too, SOON,
Seems, He Was "Over The MOON";
Beautiful, Human, LASS,
Was A Kick, In The A$$;
Off, He Swam, to Tidy, up, His LAGOON!
Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,788 times)
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
IM-HOTEP Played a PRACTICAL JOKE,
More, Real, than Mirrors and SMOKE;
A Canoptic Jar, quite, GROTTY,
Used, as a PORTA-POTTY;
Its Smell made the Archeologist CROAK!
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,801 times)
::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ ;) ~~ 8) ~~ ;) ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::)
Forward, and, Backward, THE SAME,
"It's a Rarity!" Some Folks EXCLAIM;
No, Place, like, HOME,
In a Cool PALINDROME;
So, I Hope, You Won't Find It, LAME.
::) ~~~ ??? ~~~ ;) ~~ 8) ~~ ;) ~~~ ??? ~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Warning: Irish Limericks Ahead {Read 108,870}
:o
I write Tonight's LIMERICK, sans, FRILLS,
I'm attempting my first "FINGER DRILLS";
Tonight, the Mouse, DIED,
So, it's a WILD RIDE;
I can't take, many, more, of such "THRILLS"!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
THE Von WOLFSTEINS Of HERRONVILLE, B.G.G.
Warning: Irish Limericks Ahead {Read 108,910 Times}
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTERS had, at last, met Their MATCH,
Thought They'd Win, but, there, was a CATCH;
Their Reputations, of EVIL,
Like, a Herd, of Boll WEEVILS;
Paled, by Compare, to Their Master's: SCRATCH!
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
The HERRONS, O' Von WOLFSTEINVILLE, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,958 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
I Stepped, Into THE HALLMARK STORE,
Ooh, CHRISTMAS Ornaments, GALORE;
I Bought, One, SO, FINE,
A KARLOFF FRANKENSTEIN;
UNIVERSAL-Sanctioned; I Hope, For MORE!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 108,991 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
I Remember, THEN, ACKERMAN, FORRY,
&, NOW, The Blasted Remnants, of NURI;
From Olde Years, SUBLIME,
Unto This FREEZING CLIME;
It Helps, To Be a Werewolf, Who's FURRY!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,075 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym
Whilst traipsing the Sands, of EGYPT,
The MUMMY, out, of practice, SLIPPED;
He was, bit, on the BLADDER,
By a Nasty PUFF ADDER;
So, He went, back, to Die, in His CRYPT!
hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,148 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Held His CALCULATOR,
In His CRYPT, A Perfect "COUCH POTATER";
Adding, up, all, the STATS,
On Flies, Spiders and RATS;
Then, RENFIELD Said: "DIG YOU, LATER!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,190 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
He spoke, turning the Key, in the LOCK,
"Alas, if, only, these Walls could TALK."
"I'd set, all, of Them, FREE,
But, We're Ghosts, you SEE;
Doomed, Forever, This Prison, To WALK!"
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,250 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
There, once, was a Zombie, named SAM,
Whose Skull was crushed, by a RAM;
The Zombie HORDE,
Not, to be BORED;
Ate His Body & said: "Tastes, like, SPAM!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109315 times)
:'( ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ ::) ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ :-*
'Tho' Birthdays, abound, in this MONTH,
Three, We Remember, Back and FORTH;
Yes, BORIS And FORRY,
Plus, SARA, Their STORY;
2, Out, of 3, Gone, Higher, than NORTH!
:'( ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~ ::) ~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,380 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WOLFMAN Was, Off, and, RUNNING,
Filled, with Primal Rage, and, CUNNING;
The Victim, He SOUGHT,
Set Sail, on a YACHT;
She'd Escaped a Dire Fate... STUNNING!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,425 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
Tonight's Temperatures will Drop, the MOST,
Well, Below Freezing, I am, here, to POST;
Set Faucets, to DRIP,
So, Pipes do, not, RIP;
& Create Nightmares: i.e., THE FROZEN GHOST!
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,480 times)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
QUASIMODO was a Great BELL-RINGER,
Powerful, right, down, to His Baby FINGER;
He'd exhibit His MIGHT,
That gave Mortals, FRIGHT;
I've a Hunch, He was known, as a SWINGER!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,525 times)
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
The TOMB, Now, Quiet; Ghosts, A-FLUTTER,
Visiting Olde HAUNTS, The Living SHUDDER;
Whether, LOVE, Or, GRIEF,
Or, Unfinished, BEEF;
They Flavour A Sleepy Night, "Like, BUTTER!"
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,615 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
The Wolf's-Bane, and, The Garlic, OFFEND!
The Stakes, and, The Crosses, Never, END!
I Must Flee The Holy WAFER,
And, Hide My Coffin, SAFER;
But, Morning's Light, My Corpse, Doth REND!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,678 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
An Episode, o' My Olde Show, Quite, QUIRKY,
Moved, on, Quickly, I might, even, Say: "PERKY"!
A "HORROR" Icon?! A JOKE!
Such, Fun, at It, I Did POKE;
Summing, It, Up, as a Feast: A VAMPIRE TURKEY!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,727 times)
:-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-*
'Tis ye Birthdate, Again, o' SARA and BORIS,
We Appreciate, Them, Much, in Loud CHORUS;
A High-Point, in NOVEMBER,
Is The Three, We REMEMBER;
Of Course, That, Too, Must Include FORREST!
:-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,790 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :blank:
On THIS, SINGLE, DAY, I BELIEVE,
'Tis UNNECESSARY, to GRIEVE;
The WEATHER, so, MILD,
Forestalls WINTER'S WILD;
With, Quite, a SPRING-LIKE REPRIEVE!
:blank: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,895 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie No Smile ~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie No Smile ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Cool
From Beneath the Soil, They ARISE,
Gaping Mouths, moaning Their CRIES;
Rotted, from DEATH,
Ravenous, for FLESH;
For, it's the Living, They, now, DESPISE!
Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~ Zombie No Smile ~ Zombie Shocked ~ Zombie No Smile ~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,915 times)
u6juu ~~ :o ~~ u6juu ~~ :o ~~ u6juu
The TURKEYS were, Glad, to be LIVING;
The Axe Appeared, They began SHIVERING;
Their Supreme SACRIFICE,
Plus, Yams and WILD RICE;
Gives Us, A Most HAPPY THANKS-GIVING!
u6juu ~~ :o ~~ u6juu ~~ :o ~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 109,985 times)
;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
110,000 Reads a-comin', 'round the BEND,
I'll keep a-scribin', 'bout DRAC & FRIENDS;
I don't need no REASON,
In any Four SEASONS;
I jest don't want th' LIMERICKS, to END!
;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,085 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
A Fond Fare-Well, to an Olde FRIEND,
As this Day, Hoary, November, ENDS;
I don't Know, Who DECIDED,
Great FUN, hath PROVIDED;
11 Months, await, 'til We meet, AGAIN!
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,150 times)
:o ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :o
EBENEEZER SCROOGE Felt, Quite, ACCURSED,
CHRISTMAS PAST'S GHOST Arrived, FIRST;
Then, Olde JACOB MARLEY,
Rode, In, On A HARLEY;
SCROOGE Complained: "Oy! BAD LIVERWURST!"
:o ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,180 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA saw His CHANCE,
He had His WIVES do a DANCE;
They made a STOOGE,
Of Ebeneezer SCROOGE;
Got Blood, from a Turnip, PERCHANCE.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,215 times)
Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL
"THE ZOMBIES Were Having FUN...",
Some, among Them, learned, to PUN;
Now, Rhyming "BRAINS"
With "Insane" & "DRAINS";
Joke, Over, Via Head-Shot, from a GUN.
Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,270 times)
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
A Werewolf, Found, In Moon-lit MIST,
Possessed A Scar, upon His WRIST;
There, Near, the JOINT,
A Star, of FIVE-POINTS;
Inspect It, Closely... NOW! I INSIST!
:blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,322 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
THE EVIL SPIRITS Contend, To CONFUSE,
They Prove, More, than "a, Bit, OBTUSE";
I've, oft, heard, It, SAID,
"The Sleep, of The DEAD";
Muse, How, Their Ruse Suffers OVER-USE!
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,370 times)
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
Olde EGYPT Survived, Many, A CRISIS,
SET, In The VEIN, Of OSIRIS And ISIS;
PHARAOHS, Come, And, GO,
Like, KING TUT, Y'all, KNOW;
IM-HOTEP, Was Hollywood's SYNTHESIS!
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,455 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIES, OF MORA TAU,
Eat BRAINS, Just, Like, COLESLAW;
They, Also, CONFESS,
A Preference, For BREAST;
Which They, Simply, Call: "TA-TA"!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,500 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
THEY showed a FULL HOUSE, of Cards, So, FINE,
Adding Two, WILDCARDS, To Three, of a KIND;
A Couple, of JOKERS,
+, 1, from BRAM STOKER;
Along, with THE WOLF MAN and FRANKENSTEIN!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,545 times)
8) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ 8)
Some guys want, to be JAMES DEAN,
Others, try, to emulate ORSON BEAN;
Some, cling, to the SPATULA,
Of Portraying COUNT DRACULA;
Acting Their "BEST" JOHN CARRADINE!
8) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,577 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
One Third, of December, Hath EXPIRED,
Think, How, the Ten Days, TRANSPIRED;
Fourteen Days, to GO,
With, Mayhap, some SNOW;
'Til MONSTER KID Gifts get, us, WIRED!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,615 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
SANTA CLAUS came, down, the CHIMNEY,
THE INVISIBLE MAN exclaimed: "BLIMEY!"
"In being Evil, my GOAL,
Was, to get, more, COAL;
Now, NAKED, I can Keep, Warm... FINALLY!"
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,670 times)
>:( ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :angel:
SCROOGE had, too, much, WASSAIL,
Which sent Him, to bed, without FAIL;
3 Ghosts Paid a VISIT,
He couldn't RESIST IT;
A True Conversion, to THE HOLY GRAIL!
>:( ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,745 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt
Audience have become, quite, JADED,
Classic Silver Screen Restraint hath FADED;
From ZOMBIES, to VAMPIRES,
Blazing Plot-Trails, and, FIRES;
Constipated, or, Desecrated, to MATED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,780 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o
The GREAT WHITE SHARK is One, Big, FISH,
Which, Appears, to have, Only, ONE, WISH;
Its, Only, "UPPER":
Find Its Next SUPPER;
Some Poor, Sucker's Life, To DEMOLISH.
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,848 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Caught A "WHIFF",
Of DOCTOR Van HELSING'S "GIFT";
Not, To His TASTE,
From The Garlic, He RACED;
Unable, To Return It, He Was MIFFED!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 110,975 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
SHAKESPEARE, Again, I Will, Do, for a LAUGH,
Glorious Speeches, like, some Fragrant BATH;
I'll, Now, Make, MERRY,
'Til Ye End, o' JANUARY;
Playing Two Rogues, MALVOLIO and FALSTAFF!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,035 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
Sherwood Forest's ZOMBIES Ran, AMOK,
They'd, Just, Devoured Olde FRIAR TUCK;
"This Doesn't Look, GOOD,"
Insisted ROBIN HOOD;
"My Merry Men Ran, Away - THIS SUCKS!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Of late I've not much to say,
Tis is the season to be gay.
Hope a miracle
And things lyrical
Visit you on this holiday.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,111 times)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
What are the Odds?! 1,000,000, to 7?
One, more, yeasty, Limerick LEAVEN!
One, multiplied, is the NUMBER,
In, all, Directions; no, BUMMER;
A Sort, of PERFECTION, like, HEAVEN!
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Santa the Vampire said
The holiday Needed more RED
So out the window he flew
and the death toll grew too
And now all in the town are quite dead
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,112 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
Plus, We Have Topped, A New PAGE!
BETTY Thought It, "ALL THE RAGE!"
Two-Hundred PAGES,
By UMA Limerick SAGES;
10,000, More, 'Til We Die, Of Olde AGE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,200 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS decided, to CELEBRATE,
Two-Hundred Pages, just, had, to be FATE;
Not, One, was MIFFED,
All, considered, It, GIFT;
Another Reason, Why, THE UMA is, so, GREAT!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,270 times)
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
The Final Days were CLOSING, IN,
SANTA CLAUS was Getting, THIN;
"'Tis a bit, of WHIMSEY,
Going, down, the CHIMNEY;
But, I do it, so, The CHILDREN, WIN!"
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
While everyone is so jolly.
Something just ate all my holly.
I doubt it's Santa,
Or that Antti Raanta.
Twas the Zombie on a folly.
Just when I'm trying to be zen.
The Zombies have started again.
I would love to chill,
But now we must kill.
The bodies we'll hide in the fen.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,344 times)
:-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-*
Countess JUDY Put, Up, The GARLAND,
Which She Found, In A Far-Away LAND;
She Doth, Not, STOOP,
To Join, Either, GROUP,
Of KANSAS, Or, TOTO, The Wily BRIGAND!
:-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Alas, this is the season,
For Zombies without reason.
They holler and yell
About how they dwell.
Shooting them won't be treason.
There once was a lady from Wooster
who claimed that a rooster seduced her.
When asked of the bird,
why he's covered in turd
he said:"it happened to me
when I goosed her!"
It really takes some common sense.
With Zombies you put up a fence.
She's not there,
What do I care?
I need a first line of defense.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,444 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
At CHRISTMAS, The ZOMBIES ASSEMBLE,
Awaiting SAINT NICK'S Visit, At TWELVE;
They Forget, Much, ELSE,
Unable To, Deeply, DELVE;
Save, Their Appetites, To Munch, on ELVES!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Perhaps he'd just gotten out of jail?
It's said Dracula put up the bail.
What was the crime?
Did he do time?
I wonder why Santa looks so pale.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,568 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
"MERRIE X-MAS", from The Von WOLFSTEINS,
From Our Fang-mily, to Yours: FRANKENSTEINS!
May Your Rooms, OVERFLOW,
With The MONSTERS, You KNOW;
"'X' Marks The Spot" - Where Your HEART SHINES!
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It is now Boxing day here,
A UK tradition I fear.
The reason being the relative fights,
While I would rather have my frights,
It always ends up with a broken reindeer.
Have a great time this holiday time,
Hey look I even made that rhythm,
See I'm not a big goof.
But a very lovable wolf,
So enjoy this very happy time.
To all the Baron and all my friends at the UMA have a pleasant Christmas time.
Maurice from Belfast
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,770 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, really, caught FIRE,
Unwitting Victim, of a FUNERAL PYRE;
"Please, pardon My PUN,
It burns, like, the SUN;
Another CURSE, of Being A VAMPIRE!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As this year rapidly does close,
My thoughts and feelings have froze.
Monsters, fiends and Ghouls,
Never follow the rules.
Why did that Zombie break my hoze?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,833 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :angel:
As TEDDY would say: "Simply, Bully! DELIGHTED!"
At the Revival, of Limerick Thread, HIGH-LIGHTED!
'Tis Lovely, to See, SON,
In this Christmas SEASON;
These PUN-Dit Offerings, so, Steadily, PYRITE-ED!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Well, this year is now closing fast.
Soon this horror will be the past.
Thus the bad must now end.
And to the devil send.
We pray to see the light at last.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 111,990 times)
:blank: ~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ :blank:
We RING, OUT, This Olde Year, WE DO,
We shall, also, be, There, in The NEW;
That's an Absolute FACT,
With FRANKIE and DRAC;
The WOLF MAN says: "HOOooWlDoYaDO?!"
:blank: ~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,050 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
ZOMBIES are, Really, a Most, Friendly, LOT,
Observe, All, of the People, They've CAUGHT;
No shallow "MEET & GREET",
More, like, "MEAT!" & "EAT!"
Showing Them, The FARM, that, They've BOUGHT!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
May the new year bring us good health
Secondly in importance, great wealth.
Drink too much booze,
And you will lose
The vampire's kiss has so much stealh.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,172 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
We are putting TWENTY-FOURTEEN, to BED,
Exercising the Option, to Raise The UNDEAD;
Or, Children, At LEAST,
A MONSTER-KID FEAST;
Mention 2015 & COUNT DRACULA Sees RED!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,257 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o
Two, Ancient, MUMMIES attended a PARTY,
They Danced, wildly, &, Sang, loud & HEARTY;
At 12, the Ball DROPPED,
Someone called the COPS;
The MUMMIES said They were LAUREL & HARDY.
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,340 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE ZOMBIES had been, Long, on the ROAD,
They drank the BLOOD, of a Poisonous TOAD;
'Twas a REAL DOOZEY,
They, all, became WOOZEY;
Then, with One, Giant BELCH - THEY EXPLODE!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Those Zombies tossed out a tree.
On it the dogs loved to pee.
Most Zombies are rude.
So very very crude.
Inviting us all for brain tea.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,390 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT ORLOK donned His TOUPEE,
Thus, Disguised, entered, into the FRAY,
"I don't, really, CARE,
If Vampires have HAIR;
This Way, I'm unrecognized, by My PREY!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Werewolves, Zombies, Mummies, I stress.
How did I ever get into this mess?
On my lawn they roam.
Can't they go home?
Or play somewhere else at recess.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,459 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
As THE WEREWOLF, OF LONDON, GROWLED,
At His Victim, on the Grounds, He PROWLED;
"Please, Don't Bite My GULLET;
Chew, On This SILVER BULLET!"
BANG! The Big, Hairy, MONSTER Was FOULED!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,515 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
A GIANT PICKLE, from OUTER SPACE,
Declared: "I am the MASTER RACE!"
"I'm GREEN, and, WARTY,
And, Under FORTY;
A Cosmic Legend, for My Good TASTE!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,622 times)
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
I remember Cinematic Beauty, TUESDAY WELD,
One glance, at Her, and, My Heart was FELLED;
The Flavour, of Her BEAUTY,
Akin, to TUTTI-FRUTTI;
Haunts Me, still, like, a VULCAN MIND-MELD!
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
That Zombie's eyes are flat, black, dull.
He's scary with his shaven skull.
Part of a twosome.
I know he's gruesome.
Top of the list for us to cull.
A green monster staring at my face.
It must've come from outer space.
Maybe it wants fun.
Safer for me to run.
I doubt it will keep up the pace.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,744 times)
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o
Bring, On, The ICE, And, The SNOW,
Tonight, Will Be, At Least, FIVE-BELOW;
It Came, To PASS,
WINTER, At LAST;
YODA Says: "On YOU, It Shall GROW!"
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,790 times)
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :o
KONG ripped, out, T-Rex's TONGUE,
In that Lost World, He lived, AMONG,
The Baddest and BEST,
Ann Darrow, IMPRESSED;
For, Of HIM, Her Praises, She's SUNG.
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ 8) ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,845 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'(
One, More, Weary, WEEK Takes ITS TOLL,
Battery, now, Drained, by Monday, "ON FULL";
But, It's, quite, a RELIEF,
To bring, Home, The BEEF;
Plenty, to Share, because, Mostly, IT'S BULL!
:'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,888 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE BLOB Started COAGULATING,
Saved, a Fortune, on FREIGHTING;
He'd Roll, down, the ROAD,
Engulf Ev'ry Lizard & TOAD;
Soon, Learned, It was CONSTIPATING!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 112,980 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :blank:
'Twas, All, a Part, o' My GRANDER PLAN,
Being, an Erudite, Noble, Wise, WOLF MAN;
Via Ye Classic Monster MOLD,
Which, Never, Grows, OLDE;
A TV Horror Host, Inspiring, Many, A FAN!
:blank: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I would love to bash in his head.
With my luck he won't be dead.
That he would contrive,
To somehow survive.
Perhaps a stake I should imbed?
Baby, it's freakin' cold outside.
I need someone to give me a ride.
Perhaps some real geek,
Or even an old freak,
Would take me to get my hair dyed.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,118 times)
:o ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ :o
Summed, up, in One, Single, SECRET WOID,
I.E.: Respect, for Classic Monsters: "DEVOID";
Something, GROUCHO might've SAID,
Taking DRACULA'S DAUGHTER, to BED;
"The 21st Century would confuse, even, FREUD!"
:o ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,173 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
"I am Plagued, by a Strange DOUBLE VISION,
Inherited, from My Doctor's Recent DECISION;
My Life has been TOUGH,
With The LIGHTNING & STUFF;
But, My "Up-Grade" is, from NUCLEAR FISSION!"
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,225 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
KHARIS, THE MUMMY, was Boiling MAD,
Somebody had dug, up, His dear, olde, DAD;
One, Giant, MISSTEP:
Is it, You, IM-HOTEP?!
This Pun has gone, from Worse, to, just, BAD!
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,277 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
'Tis, True ... I, once, Slept, in a COFFIN,
Whilst playing DRACULA, at KINGS' ISLAND;
The Coffin had "PRIOR USE",
Howe'er, no, Sleep, did I LOSE;
&, Awakened, By Screams, I was LAUGHIN'!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,333 times)
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
My Computer crashed, YESTERDAY,
Leaving, me, in a State, of DISMAY;
For, the Number, You SEE,
Was Eleven, Plus, THREES;
Altho' Missed, 'Tis, on Record, TODAY.
>:( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :o ~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,421 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S Odd Choice, to take a NAP,
Caused His BRIDES, quite, "a Lot, of FLAP";
He felt, at His BEST,
After Ten Minutes' REST;
Putting the "Vampyr Night-Snooze", on The MAP!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,477 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
His MONSTERS were FASCINATING and FIERCE,
The Veil, between, Living & Undead, He PIERCED;
BORIS, BELA, and, LON,
His Visages, They'd DON,
He was a One-of-a-Kind GENIUS... JACK PIERCE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,533 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE FAMILY came, to Our TOWN,
By Night, They learned Their way, AROUND;
They caused Great FRIGHT,
When They'd "Take A BITE";
The Officials, They did, totally, CONFOUND!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,599 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt
And, when it's, all, Done and SAID,
There are Perks, to being UNDEAD;
All, the Blood, you can DRINK;
Vanish, in the Eye, of a WINK,
Plus, have a Lavish Coffin, for a BED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The demons are invisible.
Making our life miserable.
Pain off the charts.
Breaking our hearts.
Life is now barely liveable.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,690 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The NEW YEAR Ushers, In "Der JANUS-KOPF",
Amidst SNOW Und ICE, Vot's, Not, To LUFF?!
"Dress, Warmly!" I'm TOLD,
"Lest, You CATCH A COLD!"
Few Things, As BAD, As Der JANUS-COUGH!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,740 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER peered, thru the Dungeon DOOR,
Frantic, to escape; He couldn't take, any, MORE!
Injuring Police & Villagers, ALIKE,
Be Wary, lest, it's, You, He STRIKES!
In The Graveyard, He hides, amid Peaceful GORE.
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,811 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
TIME is, oft, a Strange Flurry, of CHANGE,
Down, in the City, or, Home, on The RANGE;
If They don't pay their DUES;
Even, Cowgirls get The BLUES,
And, Untidy WEREWOLVES get The MANGE!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,875 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS ensure Our FREEDOM,
Because, in Deep LOVE, We NEED 'EM;
There's, Few, Things, as GROOVY,
As watching Our Fav'rite MOVIES;
And, when We're Done - To REPEAT 'EM!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,925 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o
That PHOTO, of The YETI, Loose, in BOSTON,
Looks, like, a Poor Man's CHARLTON HESTON;
Is He a REAL YETI?
Or, FUR, of SPAGHETTI?!
Well, the SNOW is Genuine, without QUESTION!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Our Zombie is really quite lazy.
The look in his eye is so crazy.
He dug up our clover
Blamed it on Rover
In fact his memory was hazy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 113,975 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ tynhrt
I, once, met a ZOMBIE, from POUGHKEEPSIE,
Whose "Take", on Reality, was, Pretty, "IFFY";
Said, He Ate JACKIE GLEASON,
As, well, as PERRY MASON;
I said: "Your Taste-Buds are Stuck, in THE '50's!"
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Suddenly without a forewarmng,
As the winter sky was just dawning.
I was bit on my neck
And thought "What the heck?"
I've had worse starts to my morning.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,030 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES Were Dressing, In GREEN,
I Guess, Y'All, Know, What That MEANS:
"With SAINT PATRICK'S DAY,
Less, Than 2 Months, AWAY;
Folks Think We're IRISH- Or, Green BEANS!"
thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There was some movement amongst the kelp.
Moving closer you could hear the yelp.
A monster so primeval?
Should there be a retrieval?
Confused, I raced off to seek help.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,130 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
I Hate, to Call It, "THE SPIRIT, OF THE TIMES",
To which, "SPEEDY ALKA SELTZER" RHYMES;
It seems, that, Our Current FATE,
Is Watching Weeks EVAPORATE;
With Days, Going Faster, &, Slicker, than SLIME!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,207 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA said: "It's, quite, LATE."
"And, Our meeting, I believe, to be FATE!"
"Don't know what, to EXPECT?!"
"Just show, Me, your NECK!"
"Trust, Me, Your Progress, will be GREAT!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,270 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Who, really, Knows, what Tomorrow will BRING,
Tonight, I know a Secret Heart Hopes, for SPRING;
CLASSIC MONSTERS, All, ASLEEP,
Buried, Safely, in Our Hearts, DEEP;
PEACEFUL, as VAN MORRISON Sings "SWEET THING".
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
What monster sent me all this snow?
His lair is in the village though.
All is not really lost,
If one can misquote Frost.
Or giggle, cause Zombies don't know?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,361 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
GODZILLA Let, Loose, a Great ROAR,
In Town, He Stamped, Out, The POOR;
His Negative ATTITUDE,
Proved Him, One, Nasty DUDE;
So, TOKYO "Showed Him The DOOR!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie is in front of my door.
Lurking moron, stupid brainless bore.
It will make such sense.
To put up a fence.
I think that I'll give Drac that chore.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,481 times)
:-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
February, 4th, Is ELDER ROBERT'S BIRTHDAY,
To Him, the Riches, of HONOUR, We UMA PAY;
Another Year, OLDER,
Call SCULLY & MULDER;
"The TRUTH Is Out There", as They, Both, SAY!
:-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Happy Birthday to Mr. Taylor.
I know that he's not a sailor.
He does not boast.
Here is a toast.
To the guy who's so scalar.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,600 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY returned, to "LIFE",
Re-animated, to seek His "WIFE";
Instead, of a RING,
Which, wasn't, His THING;
He opted, for the Funerary KNIFE!
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,727 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
NOSFERATU Applied His Brand-New TOUPEE,
Covering His Dome, Distinguished, In GREY;
Making His Fangs, Less, DISTINCT,
Some Bridgework, SUCCINCT,
To Hit, On Some Hottie, For VALENTINE'S DAY!
hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
All the ghouls seem to be about.
Makes me scared even to go out.
Much to my dismay,
They seem to want to play.
Are they friendly? Without a doubt.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,858 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE WEEKEND returns, once, AGAIN,
I invite, over, My ZOMBIE FRIENDS;
We throw a Big PARTY,
& I call, you: "SMARTIE";
ZOMBIES go, after Your Brain: The END!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,910 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ :'( ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Cool
The ZOMBIES had cornered Their "LUNCH",
Live BRAINS, to be had; a Whole BUNCH!!
Their VICTIMS, Held, TIGHT,
Who'd envy their PLIGHT?!
'Twas, over... at the SOUND, of "CRUNCH"!
Zombie Cool ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ :'( ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Will someone please hand me a torch?
There's a Zombie next to my porch.
Thus, I now explain,
It is held in distain.
Such loud cheering as the flames scorch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 114,990 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
This WEEKEND, Again, EVAPORATES,
FREEDOM, Too, Swiftly, Yields, to FATE;
Ah, Job-stress, RETURNS,
'Til Five, More Days, BURN;
Then, Head, Clear, &, Heart-Light, GREAT!
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Sadly, the truth must now be told.
That I'm quickly getting quite old.
I really hate snow.
Just want it to go.
And dread going out in the cold.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,000 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
O' LIMERICKS, Sick, I've become a VET,
To Turn a PUN, for FUN, I've, No, REGRET;
I'm, Home, on DERANGE,
LOOK, See Glenn, STRANGE;
STRANGER, than Him, I, ain't, MET, YET!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,055 times)
u6juu ~~ thrhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ thrhrt ~~ u6juu
COUNT DRACULA had a "CLOSE CALL",
Whilst "Hunting", at The Local MALL;
The Object, of His THIRST,
Knew, His Hunter, ACCURSED;
Would Cease, when, He Saw The AXE FALL!!
u6juu ~~ thrhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ thrhrt ~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,135 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIE, Of Texas, went MAD,
ZOMBIES, from Elsewhere, were SAD;
"He wasn't, so, GREAT,
'Til He bit, on Your PATE;
He'd nuance Our CURSE, Oh, So, RAD!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie committed a crime.
He covered my path with his slime.
Drac ratted him out.
Called him a lout.
Suddenly, bells started to chime.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,230 times)
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
"Your Love turns my day, into NIGHT!"
"My heart is, now, burning, so, BRIGHT!"
Gave, Her, one, final, KISS;
Now, Her, I, Sadly, MISS;
At Dawn, She became Dust, in my SIGHT.
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,344 times)
Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Censored
Ye FORE-CAST is, DISMAL, AGAIN,
It Calleth, for WINTER, My FRIEND;
Rude Wind doth BLOW,
'Mid, ICE and SNOW;
Ye BLOB hath Froze, Off, Its REAR-END!
Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Censored
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
That wasn't a gentle sweet breeze.
The Zombies are starting to freeze.
So start up a fire.
And turn the heat higher.
Even Drac is starting to sneeze.
A Valentine from the Mummy.
Oh, it looks so very yummy.
Not a real live heart,
Or an old spare part.
But chocolate for my tummy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,444 times)
ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN Demanded a BRIDE;
His Creator + Pretorius: WILD RIDE!
SHE was Young, &, ABLE,
To leave the Operating TABLE;
Her Rejection Broke His Heart's PRIDE!
ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,530 times)
ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~~ ededed
To Prove, LOVE, I Give, YOU, My HEART,
It Is, More, Than, Just, Some, Spare, PART;
On SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY,
When True LOVE Holds SWAY;
It Is A Blend, Of, Both, SCIENCE And ART!
ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,555 times)
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :o
'Twas a Day, For Cleaning and COOKING,
Really, An Ideal Time, "To Get BOOKING";
This Day Got, AWAY,
I Am, Sad, To SAY;
115,555 Sped, By, When I Wasn't LOOKING!
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Tis freezing, so monstrously cold.
Thus venturing out, is on hold.
A Mummy to cuddle.
To get in a huddle.
I doubt if I shall be that bold.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,627 times)
And, That's What FANTASTIC's FOuR! ;)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY arrived, on My PORCH,
"This Freeze puts Starch, in My SHORTS!"
That raised My IRE,
So, I set, him, on FIRE;
From Monster, to Hero: THE HUMAN TORCH!
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,737 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :blank:
I Was a Human, trapped, out, in the COLD,
On a Frozen Terrain { So, I've been TOLD!}
Winter's FROST-BITE,
Failed, out, of SPITE;
My Were-Transformation - Better, than GOLD!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Deeply depressed about Lesley Gore.
She'll never sing for us any more.
It's our turn to cry.
And let out a sigh.
Her parties were never a bore.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,835 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
I Bound, about the olde Castle's REMAINS,
To avoid the Villagers' murderous BRAINS;
Above, the Full Moon, SHINES,
In This Ice-Cavern, I REPINE;
As THE WOLFMAN, I Am Trapped and INSANE!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a house in our lane,
Where the people were thought quite insane.
One would hear loud moans,
Followed by loud groans.
I heard that they skipped out to Spain.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 115,915 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
I Prepped a Protein Shake, for My WIFE,
When It caused a great amount, of STRIFE;
It required Two STITCHES,
The Bloody Thing ITCHES;
UNEXPECTEDLY, Given, By a BUTTER KNIFE!
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 116,004 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA, arose, from His CRYPT,
To find His Fortune was STRIPPED;
"My Gold and My GEMS,
What's become, of THEM;
Renfield, you've let, Me, be GYPPED!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 116,103 times)
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
HERE, I Trust, is a LIMERICK, with BITE,
With Appeal, Mayhap, "A Bit, of a FRIGHT";
'Tis Rumoured, Our HERO,
Met, Up, with Olde NERO;
Whose Penchant, made Him "Fried-Day KNIGHT"!
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Vampires and Zombies make me mad.
I don't know why they have to be so bad.
Stop being such tools,
And acting like fools.
Tis better to be happy than sad.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead {Read 116, 230 Times}
:) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::)
If I Talk, when I Drink, I DRIBBLE,
It's, Least, about which, I'll QUIBBLE;
When I want, to SIZZLE,
I Chow, Down, on TRIBBLE;
&, Blow My Own Horn, ISH KABIBBLE!
:) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I really should perfect the art
Of pounding a stake thru his heart.
Perhaps with a shard
If I push real hard
He'll die without having to fart.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 116,315 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
Caught, Off-Guard, by that Last PART,
About Death, &, the Absence, of FART;
Logic Makes, or, BREAKS,
Your Pounding, of STAKES;
By, Wedding, Both, Science, and, ART!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Tis always good to bring a smile.
For in this life, is too much bile.
A big warm heartfelt hug,
Is my favorite drug.
I hope I didn't cramp your style.
;D
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 116,404 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
My Style remains, "UN-CRAMPED",
Your Wit helps, to keep It, AMPED;
My Wit's, only, HALF,
Gets Me small Laughs;
The Un-Dead keep My Odes VAMPED!
thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Some days, I am so very tired
My words so dull, not inspired.
No Zombies ate my brain,
Nor am I quite insane.
Just haunted, life leaves me wired.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 116,588 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
This BLIZZARD Is Growing, So, FIERCE,
Like, Some, Vile, Spell, Cast, By CIRCE;
Don't Drink Her WINE,
You'll Turn, Into SWINE;
Or, a YETI, Designed, by JACK PIERCE!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 116,707 times)
;D ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ ;D
It shan't be, too, long, so, "THEY SAY",
'Til, again, We arrive, at ST. PADDY'S DAY;
LEPRECHAUNS & GHOULS,
Play, like, They're FOOLS;
At least, They're Game, Come, What MAY!
;D ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Loud curses, groans, growls and rants we hear.
Leprechauns coming is what we fear.
Let's keep them in chains.
Zombie will eat their brains,
Gulping them down with sudsy green beer.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 116,822 times)
;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D
Olde PETER CUSHING and CHRISTOPHER LEE,
Were BEST, Of FRIENDS, as, BEST, Could BE;
Yet, Their Roles, ON-SCREEN,
Made Them Look Evil & MEAN;
To Watch Their ELMER & BUGS, I'd Love, to SEE!
;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ;) ~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 116,925 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
"I read the News, Today", Poor SPOCK;
LEONARD NIMOY is, Off, The CLOCK;
To His Soul: PEACE & LOVE,
In EVERNOW LIFE, ABOVE;
Your Earthly Life, no, one, can MOCK.
:'( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Leonard Nimoy, a special soul.
Who better practiced mind control?
Logic was his code,
His wisdom flowed,
He is missed, we need no poll.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Despite This WINTER'S POWERFUL BLUSTER,
Into 117 Thousand Reads, We, Now, MUSTER;
The Weather, ON-LINE,
Is, USUALLY, FINE;
Like, DRACULA'S BRIDE: Just Don't TRUST 'ER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
All mortals must heed this warning.
Zombies are invading the morning.
It sounds so insane,
But please use your brain
Or soon there will be much mourning.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,070 times)
:angel: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :D ~~~ :) ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:D
Here, We are, Again, at MARCH, Ye FIRST,
With ST. PADDY'S DAY, still, UNREHEARSED;
We've Hit the Ground, RUNNING,
+, More, Attempts, at PUNNING;
Exploits Exploited, Going, from Bad, to WORST!
:angel: ~~~ ;D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ :D ~~~ :) ~~~ >:( ~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,177 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~ :o ~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Mad
THE ZOMBIES Lurched, Directly, At ME,
Inspired My Sincerest Impulse, To FLEE;
Out, O' Ye Window, I JUMPED,
Into Ye Moat, So, PUMPED;
Turned The Crocs, Into Suitcases, For FREE!
Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~ :o ~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
My madness, like sadness, descends.
True heartbreak that just never ends.
Thus, would it be evil?
A magic retrieval.
To go back and make my amends,
The werewolves are very hairy.
Zombie and Mummy are scary.
Dracula and Ghost.
Can turn them to toast.
And make the Leprechauns wary.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,315 times)
:o ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ :o
LIMERICKS, Oft, Break POETIC LAWS,
Rip, Asunder, like, WEREWOLF JAWS;
Concepts, Strange, DISTORTED,
Attempted Humour, ABORTED;
Hey! You can call, Me, SANTA CLAWS!
:o ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,410 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
SHE Is, to Me, like, a Rare and Fine WINE,
I've Married, Her, for a Blessed LIFE-TIME;
I am, Happy, to SAY,
Today's Her BIRTHDAY;
Ever Thankful, to GOD, Knowing She's MINE!!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Beth, I hope this birthday brings you fun.
A Winter's day, much filled with sun.
There is nothing shady
About you dear lady
With the Baron you hit a home run.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,555 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym
SASQUATCH Staggered, In, From The STORM,
Saying: "THIS Is, No, Longer, The NORM!"
"You'll Think, It, A PUN,
When I Say: 'It's, No, FUN!';
Reminds, Me, Of Life, In My College DORM!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym
POST'S CRYPT:
----------------------
Thanks, FLOWER, BETH Loves Your Birthday Limerick!
Likewise, I'm Honoured, by Your Astute Insight! ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,625 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'(
This WINTER'S Had Its, Ups, And, DOWNS,
Turned Hopeful Smiles, Into Sad FROWNS;
I Believe, We, All, KNOW,
Not, Much, Longer, To GO;
Until SPRING Will Exceed Winter's BOUNDS!
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
One favor from you I do implore.
But really not a very big chore.
A bit of a thrill.
A Zombie to kill.
And don't leave the mess by the door.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,707 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
SPRING'S Nights Are, Most, BALMY And FAIR,
The VAMPIRES Exhibit, The Very, Least, CARE;
Indifferent, To STYLE,
Just, Like, GOMER PYLE;
They Cavort, 'Til Dawn, In Their UNDERWEAR!
thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A notice to all our undead.
Tonight all the clocks spring ahead.
Please make your kills early.
And spare my Aunt Shirley.
Permission to get Uncle Fred.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,777 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
TODAY, WE "SPRING, FORWARD", IT IS TRUE!
NOW, One, Less, Hour, O' DAYLIGHT, For YOU;
SO, PLEASE, DO, NOT, BICKER,
AS, NIGHTFALL, Comes, QUICKER;
VAMPIRES Can Nab, An Extra Victim, Or, TWO!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Stop my dear friend, do not weep.
You've only lost an hour's sleep.
Don't grab the bait.
Zombies at the gate.
Our alarm is starting to bleep.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,888 times)
:o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
I Am, Usually, Left, Feeling, Quite, MELLOW,
After Viewing Those Two, Funny, FELLOWS;
It, Really, Drives, Me, BONKERS,
As They Deal, With The MONSTERS;
Spooky Fun Abounds, In ABBOTT & COSTELLO!
:o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I really don't believe that ghoul!
How could anyone be that cruel?
He pissed my path,
And will feel my wrath.
Mess with me and you're a fool.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 117,976 times)
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
Our GENERAL Crawled, Out, Of His HOVEL,
He Relied, Upon His Pick-Axe and SHOVEL;
Winter's Blanket Was STEEP,
Minneapolis Snows, DEEP;
He Saw His Shadow, &, Is, Now, In TROUBLE!
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A monster sits upon my chest.
Heavy is, this unwelcomed guest.
We wish it would leave,
I openly grieve.
Sorry but I'm not at my best.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 118,100 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
The ZOMBIES, of Hartford, were SAD,
Held, in the PIT, of their Enemy, BRAD;
They longed, to ESCAPE,
Just, like, MOBY GRAPE;
They Became A Rock'N'Roll Group! EGAD!
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
My brain is now starting to pop.
At some point his cries have to stop.
I know he is sad
And I am not mad.
Our sorrow is over the top.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 118,245 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIES Dined, On The CITY-SLICKERS,
The Meagre Amounts Caused, Them, To BICKER;
"We're, Fresh, Out, Of BRAINS,
Just, The Entrails, REMAIN!"
Eating Them, As Snacks, Was The Real KICKER!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Vampires, Ghouls, and Mummies galore.
This party could never be a bore.
Blood flowing like wine.
Victims so supine.
All for only ten bucks at the door.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 118,288 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
'Tis FRIDAY, THE THIRTEENTH, Once, AGAIN,
Seems, That, We, Oft, Hear That REFRAIN;
Looks, Ominous, So, CLOSE
To This Holiday We CHOOSE;
Green ZOMBIES Eating Leprechaun BRAINS!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Is Friday the thirteenth, unlucky?
Many reasons, silly, or mucky.
Take your lucky charm
You'll come to no harm.
Don't eat any brains, too yucky.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 118,388 times)
:o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
'Twas MARCH, Ye 8th, o' TWO-THOUSAND-And-8,
Whence THIS Thread wast laid, 'pon OUR PLATE;
Things ha'e been "DUCKY",
We count, Ourselves, LUCKY;
'Twill be Birthday #7, so, make Thy GIFTS, GREAT!
:o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ ::) ~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This morning as he went for his jog.
A Zombie shambled out from the bog
Alas, he was slow.
But what do you know?
It's dangerous to slip on a frog.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 118,490 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Spoke, In DISGUST,
"It Has, Never, Been Said, But, It MUST;
About, Who, Suffers, WORST,
From This UNDEAD CURSE;
It is, All, Who Reap Hell, In Their DUST!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Leprechauns have invaded my dreams.
So, nothing is now what it seems.
Little scary green men.
Running out of the fen.
Shouting, Rainbows and gold for our teams.
Once upon a time near old Seattle.
Some Leprechauns prepared for battle.
As well as being green,
They were really quite mean.
For gossip and lies they did tattle.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 118,588 times)
>:( ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ >:(
The Angry LEPRECHAUNS Fought, BACK,
So, Many ZOMBIES' Skulls, Didst CRACK;
A Most, Sordid, AFFAIR,
With Brains, EV'RYWHERE;
Stopped Those ZOMBIES, From "Talking SMACK"!
>:( ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This is a great thread!
8)
Quote from: Hepcat on March 16, 2015, 06:08:38 PM
This is a great thread!
8)
Thanks!
I'm Proud, that, a HEP CAT, such, as Yourself, admires My Groovy Thread{s}!
I've been, oft, labeled, as the Fashion-Plate, of Transylvania! I wear the Colour, GREEN, Today, in Honour, o' SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!
An' I'm, Sure, There'll Be a Luvly, Green, FLOWER, Gracing This Thread, before THE DAY, is Out!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Dracula rose on St Patrick's Day.
Pondering who he desired to slay.
Their hearts should be mean,
With blood very green.
A Leprechaun Margarita parfait.
WARNING: Irish Limericks A HEAD! {Read 118,650 Times}
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
SAINT PATRICK, Eire's Powerful SAINT,
Performed Works, not, for the FEINT;
He cast, out, the divil,
& his uncouth drivel;
& Drenched the Wee Folk, in GREEN PAINT!
:angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON and BARONESS Von WOLFSTEIN, B.G.G.
The Irish love to wake the dead,
As do our Voodoo pals so it is said,
With a good green pallor,
We do love to howler,
St Patrick's dead are known for their street cred.
Happy St Patrick's day!
Happy St. Patrick's Day, Maurice. ;D
The rhymes they'd been written
By the bug I'd been bitten.
But seems though the others
My verse writing brothers
With my pictures were smitten!
(http://thetango.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/green-lucky-girl-saint-patricks-day-outfit-wallpapers-1024x768.jpg)
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
8)
Hubba hubba Darby O'Gill never looked like that! You just can't beat a good olde Irish colleen. Thanks for the greeting Flower, you're a bit of an honorary Irish colleen yourself.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 118,707 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
I Have, Just, Popped, Back, In, To SAY,
That, Your Posts Have Made My DAY;
You've Added Good LEAVEN,
To Year Number SEVEN;
My Request: Please, Come, Out, To PLAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We are so happy to 'see' Maurice.
Just hope that his postings don't cease.
Please give us a smile,
And stay for awhile.
If we promise not to call the police,
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 118,818 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
I Would, like, to Second That Motion, AGAIN,
MAURICE is, Both, Our Brother and FRIEND;
His Work is "All The RAGE",
Helped, Us, to Turn The PAGE;
Irish Limericks can, Now, Boast: PAGE 210!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Tomorrow is the first day of Spring.
Thus time to give the garden a zing.
Native flowers shall grow.
Solar lanterns will glow.
I wonder what the banshees will bring.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 118,888 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :angel:
So, Busy, Yesterday, That, I Was, Too, LATE,
&, Missed, Out, On The 1s, Composed, Of 8s;
Today, Requires A Long DRIVE,
Wherein My LOVE & I, THRIVE;
News, Soon, Revealed, O' Something, GREAT!
:angel: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Only on the good things we shall dwell.
And hope that all turns out to be swell.
We await your great news.
Just don't drive and booze.
When you are ready just give us a yell.
Sadly, I look out at the drizzle.
Hope that the weekend doesn't fizzle.
May things all end up well,
And nothing goes to hell.
Damn, I see Zombie, get my chisel.
We are now beginning to worry.
Please respond to this in a hurry.
Want to hear your great news.
We promise not to snooze.
I wonder if it's something furry.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,229 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
I Apologize, For Exciting, Such, DREAD,
I'm, Back, &, Your Fine Posts, I've READ;
The Name, Of The GAME:
"HORROR HOST HALL, OF FAME";
INDUCTEE # 51; It Shan't Go, To My HEAD!
tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,300 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
There, Once, Was A GOBLIN, From PHILLY,
Who's Powers Were, Quite, Truly, "A DILLY";
He Could Appear, Great, or, SMALL,
Still, He'd Make Your Flesh CRAWL;
Going Mad, You'd Run, Away, WILLY-NILLY!
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a way to make you happy.
I know that you are feeling crappy.
You have to know why.
I hate that you cry.
Kill the Zombies and make it snappy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,380 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
I've Dispatched The ZOMBIES, As, You've ASKED,
Seldom, Have I Faced, Such, A Repulsive TASK;
You Inquire, How, I CHOSE,
To Get, So, Very, CLOSE;
I Simply Wore My OFFICIAL UMA ZOMBIE MASK!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The night he first awoke as an undead,
All the ghouls, mummies and zombies fled.
Thus totally not drained.
And really not trained.
He was deemed not to be right in the head.
Sorry friends I must now scramble.
For we can hear the Zombie shamble.
Zombie is such a louse,
Eating brains from a mouse.
And with my life I will not gamble.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,470 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
I Spent My Youth, In SLEEPY HOLLOW,
I Find, Therefore, I'm, Apt, To WALLOW;
In Monsters & GHOSTS,
Of The Local BOASTS;
A Serving, Of IRVING, I, Often, SWALLOW.
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,491 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
Very, Deep, In The Universe, STARK,
An Enterprising Captain, Named QUARK;
Made His 1st Mate, SPORK,
Nearly, "Pop His CORK";
As QUARK, His Orders Barked, On A LARK!
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I'm sorry but I have a very bad cold.
And won't be able to post as of old.
I will be writing soon.
Wasn't attacked by a goon.
Nothing can help, even much gold.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,577 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
We've added Page TWO-HUNDRED-ELEVEN,
Reminds, Me, of MY OLDE FRIEND, KEVIN;
He was a GREAT HOST,
Not, Bad, for A GHOST;
WHO makes Regular TRIPS, UP, TO HEAVEN!
:angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,657 times)
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
SUNDAY Morning, in the SLEEPY A.M.,
Our HOUSE-CAT decided, to CLIMB;
By using My BRIDE and ME,
Like, Some, Scratching, TREE;
Left, My Prospects, for Sleep, rather, DIM!
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,759 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
There, once, was a MONSTER, named FRED,
They Said, He was, Nothing, if, not, UNDEAD;
Aside, from being SCARY,
He, also, Owned a LIBRARY;
Not, only, DANGEROUS, but, also, WELL-READ!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,777 times)
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
RENFIELD, just, gave me, a FRIGHT,
Jumped, out, yelling: "BOO!", in the NIGHT;
He seems, in a RUT,
As, if, he's gone NUTS;
There's Something, about him, not, RIGHT!
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
My Zombie hunting has come to a rest.
Alas, this cold won't get off my chest.
I doubt that you'll scoff,
Once you hear my cough.
I'll return when I'm back at my best.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,870 times)
:( ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ :( ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ :(
A Monster is attacking our FLOWER,
A Captive, She is, under its POWER;
Her Coughing and MUCUS,
Needs some SAMBUCUS;
To help Her Improve, by the HOUR!
:( ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ :( ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ :(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,909 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Bloody COUNT appeared, from the MIST,
Beside the Drained VICTIM, He'd KISSED;
Van HELSING had, it, RIGHT,
Tonight, had, to be The NIGHT;
To Introduce VLAD, to a Stake... and, His FIST!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,955 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
Ancient VAMPIRES were, at a Complete LOSS,
So, many, Centuries, They had been "BOSS";
Then, One, Certain, FRIDAY,
HE put New Rules, in PLAY;
Now, That Breed are Allergic... To HIS CROSS!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 119,999 times)
:angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel:
Yes, I've done, some, Early SHOPPING,
I've offered, more, Corn, for POPPING;
Ahead, of My TIME,
Went, to Number 9;
112,000 Reads; No, Sign, Of STOPPING!
:angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,000 times)
OOPSI! I Meant: Read 120,000 times, NOT, 112,000 Reads!
Mi Apologetto!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Alas, I am still fairly stuffy.
Plus, coughing and looking scruffy.
I'm trying to get well.
And only time will tell.
Being sick has been a real toughie.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,080 times)
:-X ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-X
Naw, I ain't, no, dam, SPAMMER,
&, I've, much, better, GRAMMAR;
So, Faminer, or, FEASTER,
Have a Blessed EASTER;
Mindful, of HIS Scars, SUPERSTAR!
:-X ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-X
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I really don't think that it's funny.
To be forgotten by Easter Bunny.
The chances are quite slim.
That Zombie got to him.
Perhaps he just stopped for some Honey?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,157 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
I agree, with You, FLOWER, 'taint FUNNY!
Being abandoned, by THE EASTER BUNNY.
If, The ZOMBIES got, to HIM,
We'll pronounce His Future: "DIM!"
Mayhap, They'll Ransomed Him, for MONEY!*
* {Or, "BRAINS!"}
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,212 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF CLAN Howled, at the MOON,
Like, all, good things, it ended, too, SOON;
Before the end, of the NIGHT,
They'd worked, up, an APPETITE;
They ate Green Cheese, with a Silver SPOON!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,242 times)
>:( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:(
The MUMMIES Stormed, Out, Of Their TOMB,
Demanding, That, They Needed, More, ROOM;
They Were, Not, Big FANS,
Of The Hot, Desert, SANDS;
So, They Made Their Escape, Via BALLOON!
>:( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Just can't live near those ghouls anymore.
Alas, we now must settle this score.
Vampires have not bit.
Our lanterns are now lit.
Tis a Zombie who darkens our door.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,322 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
I may have missed His Birth-Day, PROPER,
That APRIL FOOL, our MONSTER-COPPER;
LON, Born, on APRIL, FIRST,
Portrayed the Best & WORST;
Erik, Quasi & Vampyr - All, CHART-TOPPERS!
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,410 times)
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o
That crazy Norse god, named, LOKI,
Tried, to keep his schemes, LOW-KEY;
He would have, done, MORE,
If, not, for, Brother, THOR;
I'm, not, him, but, he, might, be ME!
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This morning I woke to loud thunder,
Zombies without brains and no plunder.
Flash lightning and rain,
Might bring with it pain.
Thus going out should be a blunder.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,545 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S CREATURE was told, to "SIT!"
Like, it was, some, Important, PREREQUISITE;
To learn, about LIFE,
He, just, wanted a WIFE;
The Mistreatment, He suffered, put Him, in a SNIT!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Mindless ranting, as Zombie chanted.
Bloody idiots, morons ranted.
Words of foul foaming pus.
Vile scum now screamed at us.
Thus too much wine had been decanted.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,612 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF is One, Giant, FUR-BALL,
Reduced, to Growls, Incoherently, VERBAL;
Unlike, THE MUMMY,
Who Fills His TUMMY;
With a TEA, That, Is, Delightfully, HERBAL!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A beautiful day should be dawning.
Woke to sweetly sung birds this morning.
All seemed to be good.
Things calm in the hood.
Then Zombie attacked without warning.
Perhaps I am just a silly goose.
And imagine monsters on the loose.
Mummies by the front door.
Vampires on the floor.
Zombie shambling to a hangman's noose.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,722 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
An Italian VAMPIRE, named, LUIGI,
Flew, one night, to the Island, of FIJI;
After draining a VICTIM,
{Boy, could He PICK 'EM};
They Cleaned His Face, with a SQUEEGEE!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,792 times)
>:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:D
As, all, of his plans, to escape, FIZZLE,
He's trapped, as the hell-fires, SIZZLE;
Feeling, like, a Sad CLOWN,
So, Deep, UNDERGROUND;
'Til, he escaped, as a Drip, in a DRIZZLE!
>:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Vampires stalked the unholy.
Draining life's blood oh so slowly.
With a great big smirk.
When they found a jerk.
Sprinkled blood over ravioli.
We love our limericks so Irish,
But not so much singer Miley Cyrus!
Out the zombies came
To feast on a fresh brain,
But her system remains without virus.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,828 times)
;) ~~~ z-z-z-z-z- ~~ ededed ~~ z-z-z-z-z- ~~~ ;)
'Tis crazy, how, Time, slowly, doth CREEP,
Whence Thy Brain, robs ye Night, o' SLEEP;
A Limerick, MAYHAP,
+, a Strong NIGHT-CAP;
Act as SED-A-GIVE, to Induce a Sleep, DEEP!
;) ~~~ z-z-z-z-z- ~~ ededed ~~ z-z-z-z-z- ~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,909 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
One Thing, that, makes DRACULA, GREAT,
Is His Longevity, a most, notable, TRAIT;
It is, not, terribly, OFTEN,
Someone sleeps, in a COFFIN;
&, all, night, drinks the Blood, of His MATE!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Today I woke up bright but yawning,
Hoping for a Zombie free morning.
We might have to flee.
He scares us to pee.
Otherwise, a new fine day dawning.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 120,999 times)
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
There, once, was a Writer, named, POE,
Who wrote Spine-Tingling Tales, of WOE;
That Early, Horror, MAVEN,
Scared us, with THE RAVEN;
&, I think, you, all, know, how, It GOES!
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 121,110 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o
There is a UMA MONSTER, from DUBLIN,
Who is, of "Two Minds", & that's TROUBLIN';
Some dare, to call him, MAURICE,
Or, TV HORROR {if you PLEASE"}
When We speak, I can hear His Brain BUBBLIN'!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Tis was a very creepy old ghoul
Who loitered near our Hebrew School.
Monster, Zombie or Creep.
His odor made us weep.
Until Rabbi drown him in the pool.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 121,245 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIE is a Slow-Moving DUDE,
No Hurry can ruin His MELLOW MOOD;
He corners His VICTIM,
Follows Zombie DICTUM;
Chows, down, on their Brain - How CRUDE!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Slowly, a vampire raised his head.
Apparently, he wasn't yet dead.
So what now would it take?
Something more than a stake?
This defies everything that we read.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 121,412 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
You know, RENFIELD, I must CONFESS,
VAMPIRE "Life" is, often, a Trial, a TEST;
Sure, the hours are LONG,
But, BLOOD is Our SONG;
As days grow, long, we get, more, REST!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombies, Vampires, Monsters beware.
I want you all to get out of my hair.
If I cut off your toe,
You'll hop when you go.
Which other parts shall we next impair?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 121,505 times)
:-[ ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :-[
Stern Warning: "Beware, Of The Dragon's MAW,
In A Single, Easy, Gulp, It'll Devour, You, RAW!
Don't Touch It's Razor-Sharp SCALES,
Remember, Dragons Have, No, NAILS;
Instead, Keep Your Head, Avoid The Giant CLAW!
:-[ ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Once while Dracula was our host,
We encountered an enchanting ghost.
He wasn't there to haunt,
Nor did he even daunt.
His heart's desire was just French Toast.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 121,621 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
LIKE, BATS, IN THE BELFRY, DAYS FLY,
AS VAMPIRES, IN SUNLIGHT, THEY DIE;
ALMOST, A CAUSE, OF FEAR,
HOW WEEKENDS, DISAPPEAR;
SO, "EXCUSE ME, WHILE I KISS THE SKY!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I cry, my heart it does now harden,
For some fiend has destroyed my garden.
I shall chop off its head.
The Zombie shall be dead.
No doubt about getting a pardon.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 121,721 times)
:o ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ :o
I eaten MEAT PIES, from SWEENEY TODD,
You might think, Me, TERRIBLY, ODD;
Please, just, take One BITE,
You'll discover, I'm RIGHT;
They taste, neither, like, Chicken, nor, COD!
:o ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
bill woke up to an awful smell
where it came from he could not tell
he looked at his wife
she swore on her life
that it came from his own tail
there once was a boy named jim
he was fast and tall and slim
he was always lookin for a fight
most say he wasnt too bright
it all ended, he bumped his head on a limb
tim told ted to hold the ladder
ted didnt see what was the matter
when tim tried to clean the gutter
his footing was like butter
tim came down with a splatter
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 121,750 times)
;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
A New MONSTER-KID, blows, into TOWN,
To make SMILES, out, of our FROWNS;
He's "Out, of The GATE",
With Limericks, 1st-RATE;
He'll fit, right, in, with THESE CLOWNS!
;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I was startled by all the loud noise.
As the Zombie tossed some little boys.
We do not know his stand,
As to where they will land.
But hope that he shall pick up his toys.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 121,840 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
SPRINGTIME is, Now, HURTLING, ALONG,
Caught, up, in Its own, GLAD, SONG;
You'll beg My PARDON,
as I grow My ROSE GARDEN;
SUMMER'S Comin' & Days will, Last, LONG!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies outside of my dwelling,
Are now cursing, screaming and yelling.
They have many pains.
Living without brains.
No one wants whatever they are selling.
can you hear zombies eating their heart
or even pulling their limbs apart?
crunching and chewing with every bite
even through all hours of the night
nevermind, its just the first of the month at walmart
sometimes i like to go to the woods and just watch
to see if i can spot me a squatch
i hear the twigs a snapping
and even on a tree a faint tapping
probably just a bird, ive had too much scotch
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 121,980 times)
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel:
I do, not, really, mean, to CARP,
I am, not, a LYRE, I'm a HARP;
You can string me, ALONG,
But, don't miss the SONG;
Great, hearing, from you, Dear CHARP!
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
these are all of just one story lol
i like doing these lol
they took a walk through the woods
just to warn them, I wish I could
on the path near the stream
he appeared to them like a bad dream
they met the man with the sickle and hood
as he showed them their fate
his menacing eyes filled with hate
he asked but only one question
who would fall into succession?
just one swipe ended the debate
as on head fell on the ground
the other one stumbled and fell down
the man reached out with his bloody hand
the other head is what he'd demand
...so thats why next to the stream there is a mound
Caught Zombie looking into our house.
Rotting, creepy, scumbag, sucking louse.
He's so f&*%in' crazy.
A moron so lazy.
And as mental has his noisome spouse.
She's a mental monster, so berserk,
And on the balcony she does lurk.
Thus seeking to destroy,
The things that we enjoy.
We give her the finger, she's a jerk.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 122,077 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
QUASIMODO went looking, for LOVE,
He happened, upon, a Treasure TROVE;
A True Beauty, quite, BLIND,
She said: "You're, all, MINE!"
An Angel, sent, from Heaven, ABOVE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
there once was a man called gimpy moe
frail and pale with a tie of bow
knew what to do when the invasion came
despite his left leg gimpy and lame
he abolished them,weapon of choice, garden hoe
some like to argue about who was the best 'stein
but just which one would I call mine?
Karloff, strange, or Lugosi
Gwynn, Boyle, or Chaney
to be honest, I think they all did just fine.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 122,122 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
I could, barely, distinguish Its FEATURES,
Mayhap, one, of a number, of CREATURES;
The room was, quite, DARK,
Then, It emitted a SPARK;
Announcing: "I am, one, of your TEACHERS."
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Tis the time I really must slaughter.
Zombie is diverting his water.
It's ruining my grass.
He such a dumb *ass.
Soon code will tell him what he oughter.
Walpurgisnacht is nigh
You must look to the glowing sky
You'll see witches a rockin',
To the music of Brocken
And you'll wish your broom could fly!
Ahh...if only.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 122,202 times)
:) ~~~~ :) ~~~~ :) ~~~~ :) ~~~~ :)
The Battle waxed, Furious, &, STRONG,
As the T-REX fought, with KING KONG;
Using, All, of His MIGHT,
KING KONG Won The FIGHT;
THE VICTOR, as We knew, all, ALONG!
:) ~~~~ :) ~~~~ :) ~~~~ :) ~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
zombie fred lost his head
but it's ok, because he's dead
he chased after Tim
and when he caught him
he couldn't bite him, oh what dread.
Yes, one would really think me a goof.
To believe I'd allow you on my roof.
Of monsters, I'm wary,
And you are quite scary.
Alas you are evil, we have proof.
they went hunting for witches
in camo shirts and camo britches
they gathered their guns
thought they'd have fun
but ended up slaughtered in ditches
Early this morning, I woke screaming.
Of corrupt Zombie I was dreaming.
As dawn started to break.
I raced to the lake.
Only to see monsters still scheeming.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 122,400 times)
:o ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ :o
What a WAL PURG IS, I do, not, KNOW,
Or, which, Witch, is which, 2, in a ROW;
That, They take FLIGHT,
On This Scary NIGHT;
Dev'lish Fast Food, Eat Crow, to GO!
:o ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~ >:D ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
hear the creaking floors
see the opening doors
flickering of the lights
all hour of the nights
are the spirits doing chores ?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 122,444 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIES did CONGREGATE,
To discuss, why, They CONSTIPATE;
"That, We, cannot, DO-DO,
Comes, from, what, We DO,
Being Undead, + the People We ATE."
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The psycho nasty evil sick witch.
Was a true black hearted crazy bitch.
The fact is that she lied,
Was taken for a ride.
Her body found in a weedy ditch.
what is it that ended Poe
that is something we don't know
its a mystery, something like in his books
was it something to which to give him looks?
thus, he was found on a bench in clothes not his own.
I looked out when I heard them yelling.
Zombie and a Ghoulie .. expelling.
A loud neighborhood fuss.
And foul words they did cuss.
Monsters too near to our dwelling.
Alas, need I now give you a hint?
As to who did so pull up our mint.
It's him that we all shun.
For he is never fun.
Zombie can shamble but never sprint.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 122,717 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA needed, to get some SLEEP,
Told His Bride: "Not, one, more, PEEP!"
" I'm getting, too, WIRED,
In My worries, I'm MIRED;
All, due, to Van HELSING, That CREEP!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
On this rainy day lurks much gloom.
And in our hearts is empty room.
As I fall in this hole,
Missing that gentle soul.
For his sake, more flowers need bloom.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 122,825 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
QUASIMODO had rung His last BELL,
Alone, now, His life was pure HELL;
ESMERALDA was DEAD,
So, He lost His HEAD;
At Montfaucon, they found His SHELL.
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie gathered all those silly fools.
And instructed them to bend the rules.
As Dracula watched.
A project so botched.
No brains for their pains, just useless tools.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 122,935 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ thrhrt
The ZOMBIE HORDES ran, amok, out, of ORDER,
They, even, strayed, across Several BORDERS;
Where THE VAMPIRE CLAN,
Drained Each ZOMBIE MAN;
Kept, All, of Their Corpses; They were HOARDERS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,017 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
I am, known, as the GHOST, of Olde JAMES,
Buried, hurriedly, in The River, THAMES;
I arise, late, at NIGHT,
To re-live my last FIGHT;
In my Death, I've sworn, off, of Card GAMES.
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a man named Ricky,
Whose neighbors all found him icky.
He was prone to glare
At women he would stare.
Until they slipped him a micky.
When Vampire was selling his house.
His agent was totally a louse.
He spoke about placement
Not about the basement.
Where Dracula was hiding his spouse.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,132 times)
;) ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ ;)
That Famous, Un-Dead Actor, BEAUREGARD,
Was a Close, Personal, Friend, of THE BARD;
He can be seen, TODAY,
In many STAGE-PLAYS;
Mostly, SHAW Plays; i.e., GEORGE BERNARD!
;) ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Count Dracula thinks it's quite groovy
To take in the occasional movie.
He saw his story "Untold"
But as the plot did unfold,
He decided the writing was "juvie"!
While you're gathering nuts in May,
Take time out and make sure you say.....
Kind words to your Mummy.
Be sweet and be chummy.
And celebrate her special day! :)
Happy Mummy's Day to all you lovely Mummies!
Vampires and ghouls are monsters all.
Zombie is one that is very tall.
Alas, all have mothers.
Some even have others.
Dead or not, please give your mom a call.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,245 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
We observe BLESSED LOVE, on MOTHERS' DAY,
Our MOMS were Our GUIDES, thru Work & PLAY;
We are, Ever, in Their DEBT,
On Their LOVE, We could BET;
For Their Eternal Happiness, We, EVERNOW, PRAY.
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on May 09, 2015, 12:03:23 AM
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,245 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
We observe BLESSED LOVE, on MOTHERS' DAY,
Our MOMS were Our GUIDES, thru Work & PLAY;
We are, Ever, in Their DEBT,
On Their LOVE, We could BET;
For Their Eternal Happiness, We, EVERNOW, PRAY.
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Nice, very nice. For all of you who still have their mothers around make sure you make tomorrow's day very special. It sucks when they're not with us anymore, believe me, I know.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,333 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRES swooped, down, from the TREES,
Disturbed, at TWELVE, by, so, many, THREES;
They had COUPONS,
For GREY POUPON;
Mustered, out, of a Mustard-y Mess, for FREE!!!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Something horrible, out of the norm,
Creeping in slowly as is the storm.
A cross at the door.
Should even the score.
Stealthy the evil begins to swarm.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,444 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
THE MAGICIAN tried, to Cast His SPELL,
A Surprise, when, He rang THE BELL;
From, out, of NOWHERE,
Appeared a GIANT BEAR;
Ate Him, used the Bones, for Show & TELL!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
May 12 is National Limerick Day.
(Who comes up with these "National Day" things, anyway?)
Quote from: Monsters For Sale on May 11, 2015, 11:47:10 AM
May 12 is National Limerick Day.
(Who comes up with these "National Day" things, anyway?)
Alas, you must write one tomorrow.
Words you may beg, steal or borrow.
It is understood,
They may not be good.
Don't allow that to cause you sorrow.
people nominate days for this and that
days for books, days for cats
what is the big deal?
is it something we're supposed to feel?
I don't get it, screw that.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,559 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY, was caught, in a bad NOR'EASTER,
Which spun Him, around, then, on His KEISTER;
Set, Him, down, with a "KLUNK",
But, THE MUMMY had SPUNK;
Re-wrapped His Junk, saying "Sorry, MEESTER!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Too many monsters are out today.
I think I shall stay inside and play.
I hear Zombie panting.
And others are ranting.
We pray they will soon go far away.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,688 times)
;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
'Tis, now, NATIONAL LIMERICK DAY,
Therefore, do I doff my TOUPEE;
I try, to be a POET,
But, most, often, BLOW IT;
So, WHOOPEE & HIP, HIP, HOORAY!
;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There is a ghoul, known as Scream Talker,
A friend of Zombie, thus a stalker.
He got into a groove
And shall now have to move.
He's brainless, as well as a squawker.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,825 times)
:) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :)
He played the Game, of "HYDE-And-Go-JEKYLL",
The POTION gave Him, Warts, out, of FRECKLES;
He couldn't keep HID,
The bad things He DID;
He tried, to Do Good, but, Proved, to Be FICKLE!
:) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a neighborhood ghoul.
A silly complaining old fool.
When he fell on his face.
They squirted their mace.
Now all know him as Mister Drool.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,923 times)
8) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ 8)
These Limerick Reads, just, keep A-COMIN',
I'm Humbled, and, that's, really, SOMETHIN'!
I'm, so, Thankful, to ALL,
Be Ye, Great, or, SMALL;
I Write, even, when My Brain's A-STUMPIN'!
8) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 123,955 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ :o
There's a Young ZOMBIE, named ROY,
Really, a most, Beamish, BOY;
Until He got "NICKED"...
&, then, He got SICK;
He's, no, longer, "A Bundle, Of JOY"!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There was a Zombie with eyes so blank.
Even for ghouls, he was foul and stank.
His pissing in our drains.
While gobbling down brains.
Was true to the nature of this crank.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 124,034 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
The CLASSIC MONSTERS are Nobody's FOOL,
Ahead, of the Curve, & Their Time, They're, COOL;
Although, by the Film's END,
They're "Killed off", AGAIN;
Their Return, in the next Film, makes, us, DROOL!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies are outside, how they SCREAM.
They are taking the noise to extreme.
Alas, we should pitch.
Them deep in a ditch.
Or toss the brain dead into the stream.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 124,150 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :o
The Flying Monkeys worked, for the WITCH,
Did Her bidding, when she threw the SWITCH;
Their Job was WELL-DONE,
Thought, She'd have some FUN;
'Til DOROTHY missed, and, Melted The BITCH!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Screamers and Zombies are now roaming.
Vile bile from their mouths drooling, foaming.
Bitter words they yell
As they drift to hell.
Vampires will get them at gloaming.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 124,324 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
Does THE BLOB, trapped, in water, FLOAT?
In a Wintery Freeze, does IT need a COAT?
I think, we, all, KNOW,
IT, just, tends, to GROW;
And, Over-Consumption produces a BLOAT!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a very stupid clown.
Who attempted to mow my flowers down.
It was not very nice.
I had to plant them twice.
The story spread by Zombies in town.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 124,444 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o
THE ZOMBIES appeared, after MIDNIGHT,
Desiring ye Local Denizens, to BLIGHT;
Their Hunger was RABID,
Their Urgency, RAPID;
Enjoyed the Feeding Frenzy, Bite, by, BITE!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I looked out my window this dawn.
Zombie with scissors, cutting his lawn.
I have to confess,
It looks quite a mess.
No brains for the inane, what a yawn.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 124,535 times)
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Grin
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named: "FRED",
Who, devoid, of, nearly, any, STREET CRED;
Was, just, like, His SPLEEN,
A Most, Sickly, GREEN;
He's, now, known, as "MARK, As UN-RED"!
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Monsters, Ghouls and Zombies assemble.
Vampires snicker, do not tremble.
Tonight will be a fight.
Until dawn's first light.
When all evil will disassemble.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 124,620 times)
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA ran, from the MOB,
Who accused, Him, of being a SNOB;
No, need, to REHEARSE,
He let, loose, a CURSE;
"I will kill every man, named, BOB!"
thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A vampire tried to play the flute.
To entice to her, forbidden fruit.
Her music so off key.
It set her victims free.
They fled faster with her every toot.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 124,844 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'(
He knew, that, He didn't BELONG,
Yearned, to flee the Gigantic THRONG;
If, not, for THAT GIRL,
He'd go, back, to His WORLD;
His Island hide-away, fit, for KING KONG!
:'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Little Squirrel ate Zombie's flower.
Alas that did not give him power.
To set out cruel old traps.
Squirrel fled out the flaps.
All laughing as Zombie does glower.
The Zombie is in a screaming rage.
Someone please lock him in cockoo cage.
He is lacking brains.
And should be in chains.
Without brains, this war he should not wage.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 124,970 times)
;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D
THE MONSTERS Studied The GRAPH,
Of, How, To Make Their Victims, LAUGH;
Altho', Clearly, CONSTERNATED,
THE MONSTERS DELIBERATED;
'Til, At Last, THEY Found The Right PATH!
;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Barry.
Who decided that he wanted to marry.
A silly ghost named Pearl,
A really naughty girl,
Who ran off with a Ghoul named Harry.
I planted me some magic seeds.
Zombie told all that they were weeds.
Knowing him a liar.
Seeds shot out fire.
Eternal flares for evil deeds.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 125,180 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
DOCTOR LAO is, indeed, a Great SAGE,
He could calm the most horrible RAGE;
With a Look, or, a WORD,
He could tame Wild BIRDS;
No small thing, for a Man, of His AGE!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Monsters, Zombies, Psychos, Creeps and Ghouls.
All tend to be crazy, mean old fools.
They all take the prize.
For telling brainless lies.
And not playing by the bloody rules.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 125,310 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER'S Castle was, set, ABLAZE,
The Angry Villagers supported This CRAZE;
THE MONSTER, IMMORTAL,
Spake {with a CHORTLE};
"Time, to make S'Mores & Pop Some MAIZE!"
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a pack of killer clowns.
In tiny cars, they rode into towns.
They are shot in the head.
And when they were all dead.
Where do we pump our extra rounds?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 125,500 times)
:-*~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
I'm Standing, In The Night's Rain, PUDDLED,
Looking, Lost, Forlorn, And, So, BEFUDDLED;
Herein, Stops, All, The HASSLE,
She Opens, The Door, Of Her CASTLE;
DRACULA'S DAUGHTER & I, about, to CUDDLE!
:-*~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Brad.
When asked why he was looking so sad.
There is nothing the matter.
I'm just mad as a hatter.
From drinking pints of blood that was plaid.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 125,690 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
I, Never, Ever, Know, What I'll WRITE,
To Start The Day, Or, End The NIGHT;
What Is, Something, RED,
That Excites The UNDEAD?
As COUNT DRACULA Said: "I'll BITE!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It is my way, without preamble,
To write my words as they ramble.
Sometimes they are hosts,
For Zombies or ghosts.
Alas, we track the creepy shamble.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 125,812 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE BREED, just, Loves, to FLITTER,
Thru the Night's dank air, 'til They've BIT HER;
A new Victim, They DRANK,
With, no, need, of THANKS;
Transforming, Her, into Their Kind, of CRITTER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 125,930 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
KHARIS, The MUMMY, knew He was RIGHT,
Because, after, all, 'twas a Full-Moon NIGHT;
Although, He needed, to PEE,
He Quaffed 1 More Tana-Leaf TEA;
Nearest Men's Room, 1 Mile; Not, Too, BRIGHT!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A Zombie was ranting by their door.
Thus was the time to even the score.
To send him back to Hell.
The place he knew so well.
His blank eyed shamble was no more.
There once was a mummy named Murray.
Who seemed forever to be in a hurry.
Finally, he did trip
Thus his shroud he did rip.
That should teach him never to scurry.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 126,075 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
A weary Day, became, an exhausting NIGHT,
As Van HELSING challenged the Un-Dead KNIGHT;
With the Setting, of the SUN,
The Deadly Battle was BEGUN;
Ending, with the Monster's Death, in SUN-LIGHT!
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a foul witch called Brook.
Whose shady old husband was a crook.
They attempted a spell.
Sending them both to hell.
Where they hang on a pruning hook.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 126,190 times)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
WORDS, I cannot think, of, Too, MANY,
"... Well!" Reminds, me, of JACK BENNY;
It's, not, hard, to UNLOCK,
LIMERICK "Writer's BLOCK";
It's, not, like, they're a Dreadful PENNY!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a lad named Teddy.
Who wanted a cool pet Yeti.
But he was hard put.
To find a big foot.
And got instead some spaghetti.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 126,430 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD ran, quickly, after the SPIDERS,
For a Treat, to wash, down, with His CIDER;
He, then, took a SWIG,
Danced a VAMPIRE JIG;
Then, went, out, to wolf, down, some SLIDERS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Luke.
Who was really some kind of a kook.
He would give you a wink,
When he started to drink.
And ask you if you needed to puke.
Paranoid, the gargoyle starts to glare
Please tell him, it's not polite to stare.
Nor to smoke and curse.
To kindly leave, disperse.
Or we shall feed him to our pet bear.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 126,648 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
RENFIELD was Killed, and, went, Up, to HEAVEN,
Where he met his Guardian Angel, named KEVIN;
"RENNY, It wasn't your FAULT,
Blame That Guy, from The VAULT;
In The Bread, Of Life, he's, really, Bad LEAVEN!"
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Monsters BEWARE! This is my home.
And not a place for you to roam.
I will shoot you on sight,
As is my divine right.
So says my attorney, Jerome.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 126,730 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt
THEY carried the Plague, TOGETHER,
Could, also, control Bad WEATHER;
DRAC and His MISSUS,
Shared Deadly KISSES;
In a BOND, for Worse, or, for BETTER!
thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I came out and surveyed their mess.
Monsters are slobs, we shall attest.
The landscape they did mar,
Wait till I tell the Czar.
Sloppy beings, he'll dispossess.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 126,828 times)
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
QUASIMODO tried, to keep, up, the PACE,
After, being, entered, in The Great RACE;
He ran, around PARIS,
Beating PRINCE KHARIS;
The Prize? Plastic Surgery, on His FACE*!
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
{*That's How, He won the Role, of DANIEL, in HOF}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
While not her name, we call her Lucy.
A fiend by nature and quite goosy.
If you flipped the switch,
It would light up bitch.
But Zombie does find her quite juicy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 126,951 times)
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
I was, about, to Partake, of THE GRAPE,
I caught, a Whiff, of a Giant SKUNK-APE;
Put, off, by a REASON,
Bordering, on TREASON;
A NASTY CASE, of OLFACTORY RAPE!
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Thunder raged, then out of the storm.
A ghoul so hideous started to form.
Screamer and Zombie hid.
It looked a giant squid.
Dracula laughed as was his norm.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 127,082 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Night had, turned, strangely, QUIET,
Our Guide whispered: "I, just, don't BUY IT!"
Then, from, out, 'neath, the GLOOM,
THEY Flew, out, of Their TOMBS;
VAMPIRE FEEDING FRENZY... A Real RIOT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Spike.
Who had a twin brother called Mike.
It wasn't an art.
To tell them apart.
Unless you met their triplet named Ike.
Christopher Lee, he is no more.
It's hit us all to the very core.
I don't want to lie,
I never thought he'd die.
He with Bela now, chatting lore
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 127,321 times)
:o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ :o
IT Lived, through The PRIMORDIAL GOOP,
To This Day, Eats HUMANS, like, SOUP!
Such, Steely, RESOLVE,
To Refuse, To EVOLVE;
'Til, IT Grew Wings, and, Flew The COOP!
:o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 127,323 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
I'm, Quite, Sad, that, We'll, no, longer, SEE,
That Fine Fellow, named, CHRISTOPHER LEE;
Still, 'tis, Quite, GROOVY,
We can watch His MOVIES;
In HEAVEN, EVERNOW, May His SOUL, BE FREE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Ron Moody often played the buffoon.
Starring in "The Mouse on the Moon"
He turned down Dr. Who
A thing which he did rue.
His a true heart always in tune.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 127,455 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
COUNT DRACULA survived, the War, as, a VET,
One, who, never, required, any, Safety NET;
His "Work", done, by NIGHT,
Was His Enemy's BLIGHT;
VLAD was Cool; absent, of the slightest REGRET!
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 127,555 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :blank:
Started, Out, Long, Ago, as a FIENDISH CUR,
A MONSTER, with FANGS, &, HOWLS, &, FUR;
Ran, Wild, through the TOWN,
Never, let, it, get Me, DOWN;
Living, in My Castle, reading Fine LITERATURE!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombies and ghouls form a danger zone.
If they are around, don't stay alone.
Bar all of your doors.
Never go outdoors
Tis better to be safe, than atone.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 127,721 times)
:-[ ~ :( ~~ :) ~~~ ;) ~~ :D ~ :laugh: ~ ;D ~~ ::) ~~~ :angel:
I moved, to ALASKA, it feels, like, HOME,
My Neighbour is a GNOME, from NOME;
I went, to the HEADER,
But, It gets, even, BETTER;
The Top, of This Quip, holds a PALINDROME!
:-[ ~ :( ~~ :) ~~~ ;) ~~ :D ~ :laugh: ~ ;D ~~ ::) ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As I looked at my Obedient plants.
I almost jumped right out of my pants.
Triffids started to sway.
Silent, we raced away,
As Zombies yelled "FEED THE ANTS!"
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 128,030 times)
??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ???
HOUDINI made, some, strange, GYRATIONS,
As He traveled, through, so, many, NATIONS;
Every Paper sought, to SCOOP,
He revealed, the Need, to POOP;
Things can be, Worse, than, CONSTIPATION!
??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie ate the brains of his cleaner.
A poor woman, could he be meaner?
When is all said and done.
It could not be much fun.
And still he sports a tiny wiener.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 128,421 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
LAWRENCE TALBOT espied the FULL MOON,
Knowing, the Change would come, SOON;
'Twas a Job, without THANKS,
Battling DRACULA and FRANK;
His only Helpers were a couple, LOONS!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Dave.
Who didn't know how to behave.
Eating brains with hot sauce.
And forgetting to floss.
He was sent off to live in a cave.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 128,940 times)
:o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ :( ~~~ :o
I, just, got, back, ON-LINE,
The Internet is a SWINE!
At it's very BEST,
It is POSSESSED;
& Drives, Me, Outta My MIND!
:o ~~~ >:( ~~~ :o ~~~ :( ~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
With slanty eyes and cigarette smoke
The strange old woman started to choke
Coming from Zombie's lair,
She was not our affair
Nor was the mayhem she'll now invoke.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 129,433 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
With Shanty Lies, and, a Carton, of SMOKES,
GLENN STRANGE'S Olde Man startled the BLOKE;
Combing THE ZOMBIE'S HAIR,
Sheep weren't a part, of our AFFAIR;
Northward, the May Queen, We'll, now, INVOKE!
:angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
Thank You, FLOWER, for your Perfect Inspiration!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie did shamble, twas before noon.
An horror unexpected, too soon,
We all wanted to puke
But would it cause rebuke.
So we smiled and ran from the goon.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 129,659 times)
u6juu ~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~ u6juu
In Quaint IRELAND, so, Fair, THEY LIVE,
THE WEE FOLK, with a GIFT, to GIVE;
A POT, O' GOLD,
To Have & HOLD;
Then, They, Beastly, Beat You, Black-&-Blue, with Their Fierce SHILLELAGH!
{Doesn't Rhyme, with LIVE & GIVE?! C'mon! COMEDY... It Ain't Always PRETTY!}
u6juu ~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 129,711 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ :angel:
Once, upon a Time, a ZOMBIE, named, DEVON,
Had begged GOD'S MERCY, to Be FORGIVEN;
In the Film, of His STORY,
Portrayed, by PETER LORRE;
Happy Hollywood Ending, He went, to HEAVEN!
:angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
His eyes told the best horror story.
Of course we speak of Peter Lorre.
With Sidney Greenstreet,
A combo not beat.
We hope they found their fame and glory.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 129,820 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA made His Delicate INCISION,
In the poor Girl's neck, with Surgical PRECISION;
Had, He, left, Her, ALIVE,
Instead, of, One, of His WIVES;
Her New "Life", wouldn't be, met, with DERISION.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Walking dead, gathering to buffet.
As Zombies celebrate Father's Day.
Chocolate sauce on brains
Nothing with whole grains.
Shambling slowly as they look fey.
There once was a Zombie named Jerry
Who was married to ghostly Teri.
Come rain or come shine.
Come pickled or brine.
They washed down all brains with fine sherry.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 129,983 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel:
You can cut IT, and, yet, IT, won't, BLEED,
Or, if, you gut IT... IT mustn't be a NEED;
Whether, Urbane, or, a HICK,
You might, Crave, a LIMERICK;
THEY'RE an Addiction... That's Our CREED!
:angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an old creepy crone.
I believe that her real name was Joan.
A zombie, not a witch.
She was surely a bitch.
Calling wickedness over the phone.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 130,080 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There was, once, a really, crispy, olde, CLONE.
I was relieved, when, they took, out, her PHONE.
As, both, Zombie and WITCH,
She'd leave, you, in a DITCH;
For stalling her Wicker-Man's rise, to the THRONE.
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
FLOWER, I, gratefully, acknowledge, that, the Rhythm, in your Limerick, caught my ear, to produce a Spin-Off!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
*Cool .. 8)
Twas a foul monster living next door.
We refused to have it anymore.
It was trapped in a cage.
And oh boy did it rage.
As it cleared customs, shipping offshore.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 130,168 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
We're watching olde MOVIES, on TCM,
They, of course, Star, our Very, Dear, FRIEND;
Quite, a nice STACK{ULA},
Of CHRIS LEE, as DRACULA;
& Other Famous Monsters, well, some, of THEM!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Sadly, we say good-bye, Mr. Steed.
A true gentleman, a dying breed.
In "A View to a Kill"
Macnee gave us a thrill.
Rest peacefully Avenger. Indeed.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 130,248 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
My Best LIMERICKS are Written, by GHOSTS,
'Tho' Humbled, I'm, still, Delighted, to BOAST;
In the Dead, of the NIGHT,
They Command, me, to WRITE;
&, oft, phone Them, in, on COAST TO COAST.
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As the Zombie and the Scream Talker rants.
We cover our ears, to their moron chants.
What they lack for brains,
Causes everyone pains.
They have I.Q.s less than most house plants.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 130,393 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
IMHOTEP Felt, as Dry, as a BONE,
Shifting, like, the Sands, quite, ALONE;
Could things get, any, WORSE,
To be "Called Up", by a CURSE;
Then, into His "Life", strode His CLONE!
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghoul staring at our garage.
Along with Zombie's foul entourage.
Thus I wanted to scream.
Perhaps it was a dream.
What a skanky gang, creepy mirage.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 130,545 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLVES Threw a Huge PARTY,
At The COMIC, They Laughed, Loud & HEARTY;
At the End, of His ACT,
As a Matter, of FACT;
THEY Ate, Him, for Being, Such, a SMARTY!
:blank: ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Bob.
Who wanted to be part of the mob.
So he acted a hood,
And did what he could.
But the others all thought him a snob.
Werewolves gathered, there was no respite.
We heard them howl long into the night.
The smart ones, they fled.
The dumb ones, they bled.
Senseless killings until the first light
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 130,835 times);
:) ~~~ :D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ 8)
DR. WHO went, faaaaar, back, in TIME,
Where, He ran, into a STREET MIME;
"In a BAR, they did CARD, US,
So, We, left, in THE TARDIS;
It's, not, like, We committed a CRIME!"
:) ~~~ :D ~~~ :laugh: ~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ ::) ~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie so mental.
Who said we were being judgmental.
He only ate brains.
To stop all our pains.
The killings were all accidental.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 131,025 times)
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
My BRIDE & I watched THE MUMMY,
CHRIS LEE, quite, Grisly, no, DUMMY;
He tried, His best, RUSHING,
Dear, Olde, PETER CUSHING;
At Commercials, We played GIN RUMMY!
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 131,170 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
As a CHILD, I, always, LOVED, to SEE,
The MONSTERS, of MYTH and PREHISTORY;
I'd run, 'round, My HOUSE, 'N',
Try, to be, RAY HARRYHAUSEN;
Building Clay DRAGONS & DINOS! WHEEE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie, stumbled around in the dark.
He drove very drunk, not a lark.
Peering into houses.
Oogling the spouses.
Whilst eating brains of someone called Mark.
There once was a vampire named Nick.
Who said he only wanted a lick.
He would begin to suck
Thus they were out of luck.
As he plunged his fangs very quick.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 131,397 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ :o
QUASIMODO saw, Himself, in a MIRROR,
And, said: "I have, nothing, to FEAR!"
"True, I may, not, be CUTE,
But, I'll give, You, The BOOT;
If You say, My Face, looks, like, Your REAR!"
:o ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy named Meg.
Who decided to go out and beg.
She held her arms out.
To some lager lout.
Who randomly hung her on a peg.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 131,555 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
I've had, Today, my Second ANNIVERSARY,
Two Years, passed, a Moment, Very, SCARY;
Things could've been, WORSE,
When my appendix, BURST;
Love & Grace, prevailed; 'twas, all, NECESSARY!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 131,711 times)
:angel: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :angel:
THE MONSTERS were, "On The LAM",
Subsisting, on Blood Pudding & SPAM;
Not, just, for a Place, to HIDE,
But, Somewhere, Safe, to RESIDE;
That's, when, They Found UNCLE SAM!
:angel: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 131,753 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
Since "Millions" read, what, We've POSTED,
{Although, Many, Appear, To Be GHOSTED};
How Do You MEASURE,
The Infinite PLEASURE;
O' the Limerick Tons, which, We've TOASTED?!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie from Mumbai.
As ghoulie go, he wasn't very spry.
They caught him in a trap.
Singing very bad rap.
Now his guts are lighting up the sky.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 131,895 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt
There hath appeared, a GHOST, in My BED,
My Friends spaketh: "'Tis, All, in Thine HEAD!"
Yet, from My Bed, didst I PULL,
A Pillowcase, with a BULLET-HOLE;
To Sleepeth, There, Giveth, Me, Great DREAD!
tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Mummy and Zombie decided to strip.
Dracula thinks that this should be a trip.
As Mummy unwraps.
Dracula drinks Schnapps.
Zombie shambles and fumbles for his zip.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 131,980 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
Please, Judge, Not, &, Don't call, Me, a FREAK,
'Tis, Monday, again; We begin a New WEEK;
My, how Times, FLY,
We're, now, in JULY;
4 Months, remain, for, Us, HALLOWEEN GEEKS!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As the Zombie started to lament.
No one cared for his discontent.
He caused the brains to flow.
So now our grass won't grow.
To spite all our time and money spent.
I thought it was just a very bad dream.
That scary, shrill, horrid monster scream.
Then in the garden,
Ghoul out on pardon
Starting to glare, grumble, rant, rave and scheme.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 132,263 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE BLOB decided, to become a MIME,
As a way, to leave His Life, of CRIME;
He was Nobody's FOOL,
He ate the Whole SCHOOL;
His Victims, laugh, then, they're, out, of TIME!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
On to our landscape he brings a blight.
The Zombie known as "Idiot's Delight."
He shall know no thrills,
From any of his kills.
The brainless rants, for that is his plight
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 132,357 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
When DRACULA turned, into a BAT,
He realized, He was getting, too, FAT;
"I'd, rather, drink MUD,
Than Non-Fat BLOOD;
To, Me, Full-Fat is, "WHERE IT'S AT!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Saul.
Who was really behind the eight ball.
Non Kosher was the blood,
He spit it in the mud.
Before donning on his prayer shawl.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 132,458 times)
Zombie No Smile ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie No Smile
THE CREATURE felt, Pickled, in BRINE,
"Maybe, good, for Hooves, of a SWINE;
But, in My BLACK LAGOON,
I'll be, Gone, much, too, SOON;
Excessive Salt, in My Diet, ain't FINE!"
Zombie No Smile ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie No Smile
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire called Maud.
In some ways she was heavily flawed.
She was very uncouth,
And quite long in the tooth.
Blood sucked through a straw, what a fraud!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 132,533 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Sunny Day turned, Stormy, and, DARK,
A Trick, COUNT DRACULA did, oft, for a LARK;
Yet, whilst taking a STROLL,
The COUNT paid a stiff TOLL;
The SUN, reappeared, He dissolved, in a SPARK!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 132,588 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
I got Spooked, by a GHOST, but, ain't FAINTED,
Ate some, bad, ECTOPLASM, It was TAINTED;
Forced, into a DUEL,
By some, creepy, GHOUL;
Ya know what?! I think, My Life Is HAINTED!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 132,685 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt
Still, This Olde, LIMERICK THREAD, RAGES,
Like, WEREWOLVES, Transforming, in STAGES;
'Tis, Fearfully, READ,
By, All, THE UNDEAD;
Even, DRACULA Said: "Nearly, 225 PAGES!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 132,686 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
BINGO!!!! 225 PAGES! WHO'DA THUNK IT?!!!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie called Whack Jack.
Only lone women, he would attack.
He knew they were prone.
When they were alone,
But would run when they counter attack.
There once was a vampire named Lizzi
Who would often go into a tizzy.
The blood she would guzzle
Was part of the puzzle
Of the fate of her dear brother Izzie.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 132,810 times)
:'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
A Enterprising VAMPIRE, named, BLANCHE,
Moved, away, from Her Castle, &, onto a RANCH;
But, Rustling CATTLE,
Was an Uphill BATTLE;
Her Demise came, from a large, Holly, BRANCH!
:'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Schwartz.
Who loved to follow all kinds of sports.
If his teams chose to lose.
He would drink all our booze.
Preferring domestics to imports.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 132,875 times)
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
MINA hid the Fang-marks, with Pencil, STYPTIC,
Van HELSING'S Remarks, bordered, on CRYPTIC;
Soon, the Evidence, CONGEALED,
DRACULA blamed it, on RENFIELD;
Does This qualify, as a Diorama, or, a TRIPTYCH?
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Kay.
Who always wanted things her own way.
Known as Miss Mucky Muck.
She met enchanting Chuck.
Who was married and led her astray.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 132,970 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE CLAN has an Enviable TRAIT,
They go, to "Bed", early, &, stay, up, LATE;
I, often, go, to SEE 'EM,
In Their All-Night MUSEUM;
I get, in, for FREE, as We discuss My FATE.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Rickie,
Who was out on the prowl for a quickie.
He wasn't that bright,
Thus later that night.
He found Lucy and gave her a hickey.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 133,073 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
RENFIELD was caught, by SURPRISE,
For aiding The COUNT, with his LIES;
Now, he sat, FRETTING,
The Cost, of ABETTING;
Van HELSING said: "No, More, FLIES!"
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Alas, Zombie is such an huge dope.
And needs his mouth washed out with soap.
His foul curses and lies
And false alibis
Soon he'll be hanging by his own rope.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 133,153 times)
:) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::)
THE WEREWOLVES Rehearsed Their SONG,
For the Royal Coronation, of KING KONG;
THEY Serenaded THE APE,
Sounding, like, MOBY GRAPE;
&, Challenged HIM, to a Game, of PING PONG!
:) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It's so hot that everyone's melting.
Mummy's unwrapped, Wolfie's unpelting.
Dracula is ranting,
About Zombie panting.
Over some witch's pants unbelting.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 133,213 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Ye VAMPIRE Castle is, darkly, Ancient & DANK,
Safe, atop, a Stark Precipice's Highest BANK;
Oh, THEY like, It, that WAY,
So, THEY come, out, to PLAY;
Unafraid, of Intruders, infiltrating THEIR RANKS.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Mick.
Who hung out with a Zombie named Rick.
They would rant, they would rave.
And send folks to their grave.
Never knowing what made humans tick.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 133,303 times)
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN never wore SUSPENDERS,
For, awhile, He Rocked, Out, on a FENDER;
The Worst Thing, by FAR,
His Bride's Head, in a JAR;
To set, Her, free, He had, to UPEND 'ER!
ededed ~~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~ ededed ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire called Finn.
His story? Is this, I shall begin.
He broke his right fang,
Drinking tainted tang.
Now he mixes his victims with gin.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 133,383 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Confused
An Unstable ZOMBIE, named, MAX,
Decided, He must cover His TRACKS;
It raised a Public DIN,
The Cops were Called, IN;
In His Cell, they said: "Just The FACTS!"
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie so addled.
The rocks in his head truly raddled.
His thoughts so deranged.
They weren't exchanged.
With insanity he was saddled.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 133,503 times)
;) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ;)
Recently, spotted, off, the White Cliffs, of DOVER,
The Loch Ness Monster munching Tons, of CLOVER;
Yet, Their sequels, still, THROBBIN',
Of Super-Heroes, BATMAN & ROBIN;
Could, aptly, rename Them, THE DYNAMIC DUO-VER!
;) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 133,578 times)
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE ZOMBIE HORDE was running, AMOK,
All, alone, in my Home, I was STUCK;
Tried a desperate DODGE,
Escaped, to my GARAGE,
Then, mowed, 'Em, down, with my TRUCK!
Zombie Grin ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Their once was a zombie so sour.
Who also neglected to shower.
It wasn't a gamble.
He would slowly shamble.
As odors would race up the tower.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 133,657 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
The next sound, you hear, is, me, CRYING,
'Cos our Eight-year old Modem is DYING;
So, to assuage my SORROW,
We buy a new one, TOMORROW;
Then, our Sloooow Reception will be FLYING!
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Luke.
Who was known to be some kind of kook.
He was really quite jerky.
As well as very quirky.
And would pass himself off as a duke.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 133,929 times)
8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8)
THE DOCTOR took many, spare, PARTS,
And, created a Being, with two HEARTS;
He was uncertain, what, to DO,
So, He called him, "DOCTOR WHO";
Who is a Master, of many, strange, ARTS!
8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I dreamt of a very strange creature.
Who possessed a familiar feature.
She started to scare
And I was beware
Of this person, my third grade teacher.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 134,153 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA is known, to be very, BOLD,
Who does, not, like, to do, as He is TOLD;
Since, most, sleep, at NIGHT,
That is, when, He takes FLIGHT;
Not, bad, for a man, past 500-YEARS, OLDE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie was feeling like he was beat.
Shambling slower in this damn heat.
Ranting in the rain.
Like all the insane.
Never seen a creature so effete.
There once was a zombie called old Fred.
Who wanted to kill him some undead.
So he picked up a rake.
Which he thought was a stake,
And thus wondered why nobody bled.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 134,313 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF is a most, Fiendish, BRUTE,
Rendering FEAR, to the Point, of MOOT;
By DAY, eating FRUIT,
Whilst wearing a SUIT;
&, taking a Whiff, off, His PHILLIES CHEROOT!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Morty.
Who was at least four hundred and forty.
While long in the tooth,
And far from a youth,
But he continued to dress quite sporty.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 134,540 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE - Our UNCLE FORRY,
As DR. ACULA, Renowned, for being, quite, GORY;
He was, Long, in the FANG,
Mistook, BLOOD, for TANG;
His FAMOUS MONSTERS is a Whole, Other STORY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a dentist named Walter.
My distain for him will not falter.
Seeking a cheap thrill.
Cecil he did kill.
Now chop off his head on the altar.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 134,673 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
In This Thread, She's the Woman, of the HOUR,
I Laud Her Limericks, with, All, of My POWER;
You know, what, They SAY,
A Most HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Our Limerick Starlet, CHARLOTTE, aka, FLOWER!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Her limericks are always sharp.
On this I have no wish to harp.
A happy birthday.
Should she come this way.
Charlotte is the alias Charp.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 134,750 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :angel:
There, once, was a Prince, named, VLAD,
Who lived, upon, naught, save, SALAD;
He wore this Gentle FAME,
Whilst another chose SHAME;
Howe'er, all, of His Peasants, were GLAD!
:angel: ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
So, we found the Zombie by our back door.
It was too smelly for us to ignore.
He was being morose,
And so ugly and gross.
We called Ghost Busters to drop him offshore.
At last Miss Zombie's goose is cooked.
Insane, on addled brains she's hooked.
She is seen as lazy
And she's known as crazy.
Her path to the graveyard, now booked.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 134,959 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
The Sun, now, sinks, low, in the SKY,
Tonight, we shall hear WEREWOLF CRY;
It's coming, up, SOON,
A Giant, BLUE, MOON;
Lock your doors, if you don't want, to DIE!
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,017 times);
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA was Attacked, by THE MUMMY,
Formerly, They'd been seen, as, quite, CHUMMY;
As Their Arguments, RANG,
He Pulled, Out, VLAD'S FANGS;
It left The COUNT feeling Embarrassed & GUMMY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It really is so freakin' hot.
Gross Zombie has been dripping snot.
Tis not a pretty sight.
I won't sleep this night.
Having nightmares of flowing rot.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,188 times);
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA says: "HOWD'YA DO?"
He's, careful, to mind His "P'S And Q'S";
Be Wary, at NIGHT,
When He tends, to BITE;
Then, You'll "awake", in a Coffin, You'll RUE.
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,255 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
They flush the BLOOD, down the DRAIN,
To Feed, all, the VAMPIRES, of SPAIN;
But, They, usually, FROWN,
As, it's, so, Watered, DOWN;
"It's the Last Straw, that old Water MAIN!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Sammy.
Who had hands that were cold, very clammy.
He was a stick in mud.
And not a young stud.
But won the heart of the Zombie Tammy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,350 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF OF LONDON was COOL!
As Universal's "First", He was, no, FOOL;
He dealt, with His CURSE,
It could've been WORSE;
His release, in Death, was, not, CRUEL.
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Their ungodly screams are from the West.
Why doesn't Zombie give it a rest?
Arms that are thrashing.
A moron rehashing.
Even Mummy wears a Kelvar vest.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,430 times)
Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie LOL
ZOMBIE COMEDIES are, truly, INANE,
The Writers, of, such, have, NO, BRAIN;
Logic's Rules, they BEND,
Again, and, AGAIN;
Leaving Minds Empty & wallets, in PAIN!
Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Why did the Zombie cross the road?
Was he looking for a juicy toad?
He is so inane,
As he has no brain.
We wonder where he'll implode.
There once was a vampire named Frank.
Who hung out with his ghoul buddy Hank.
Balls they would go bunt,
Before the big hunt.
And then giggle about the blood they drank.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,570 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE MASTER-ZOMBIE turned the CORNER,
Where He, attacked & ate Little Jack HORNER;
He was WELL-TRAINED,
To remove Jack's BRAINS;
The Poor Lad's Last Words: "I'M A GONER!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Kim.
Who kept forgetting to go to the gym.
She liked to fine dine.
Red blood was her wine.
Alas, she will never be called Slim.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,677 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES swoop, down, out, of the SKIES,
To give you, Their "Kiss", as a Sundown SURPRISE;
I know, some, are ABLE,
To call, Them, a FABLE;
Those, who, say The Un-Dead don't exist, tell LIES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,717 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS came, out, to PLAY,
Upon the Terrified Villagers, did PREY;
These Gruesome UNDEAD,
Would rip, off, Your HEAD;
To use, in Their Game, of CROQUET!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,759 times)
:laugh: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :laugh:
There are MYSTERIOUS Things, A-FOOT,
Sounds, of Entry, through My COAL CHUTE;
But, WHAT can It BE?!
No MONSTER, I SEE...
Mayhap, just, a Harmless TRIFFID'S ROOT.
:laugh: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a young monster named Hope.
Who started to skip school and smoke dope.
Which made her errant.
She cursed at a parent.
And had her mouth washed out with soap.
Zombie is madder than a hatter.
Climbing a ladder, ranting chatter.
Now, watering in the rain,
We know that he's insane.
And hope to hear him fall and splatter.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,870 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank:
Classic Monster, I be, but, still, Loved THE HOWLING,
Whole, lotta, Points, that, I thought, were "WOWING";
Amazing TRANSFORMATIONS,
In My WEREWOLF NATION;
It, Tastefully, Bludgeoned the Act, of DISEMBOWELING!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 135,910 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
There was, once, an Obnoxious GHOUL,
Attempting, to pass, a Humongous STOOL,
He did, not, feel, GREAT;
'Twas, something, He ATE;
Reports confirmed, 'twas Ye Olde Village FOOL!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a slender witch named Betty.
Who became overly fond of spaghetti.
She would eat the whole dish,
And then deem it delish.
Now, she's starting to look like a Yeti.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 136,045 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
An Italian VAMPIRE, called, GIUSEPPE,
Was, always, Amorous, and, PEPPY;
"'Tho' I drink Beer, with SUDS,
The Power's, in the BLOOD;
It revs Me, up, better, than, PEPSI!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Gertrude.
Who attempted never to be crude.
She would carefully suck,
And wish you "Good Luck"
Then say "Thank You" as not to be rude.
It was only a little flower.
But it was not within my power.
To keep it alive,
As Zombie did skive.
As the brainless ones do devour.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 136,240 times)
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER fell, in Love, once, He'd SEEN 'ER,
His racing Heart, ne'er, more, Alive, nor, KEENER;
The, Sadly, Inevitable, FACT,
She did, not, Love, Him, BACK;
A Broken Heart, yet, again, made, Him, MEANER!
ededed ~~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~ ededed ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Dave.
Who decided to dwell in a cave.
When the blood would drip.
He would take a sip.
Before spending the night at a rave.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 136,333 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA knew, how, to cause a FRIGHT,
His Toothsome Smile could "invite" a BITE;
Out, of Action, by DAY,
VLAD, still, had His WAY;
During Slow, Languid, Hours, Every, NIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Mick.
Who thought that he was mighty slick.
The he became chummy,
With Harry the mummy
And found that he was a boring hick.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 136,440 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
THE SWAMP MONSTER lived, up the CREEK,
Ate, only, Big ALLIGATORS, and, LEEKS;
His Humour was "GOON",
Many Folks, He would MOON;
One, yelled, at Him:"Why, of, all, the CHEEK!"
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 136,500 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
YE PIRATE'S GHOST, oft, Walks His SHIP,
Where He was, angrily, Known, to QUIP;
"I'd trade, all, Ye, for SEAL-BLUBBER!"
"Yer, unfit, for Sea, LAND-LUBBERS"
And A GHOSTLY CHORUS, Sighs: "PIP-PIP"!
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Tegan.
Who decided to become a vegan.
I was a strange quirk,
And frankly didn't work.
So then she changed her name to Megan.
They called me about the zombie louse.
That was plainly staring at my house.
So what would he gain?
Surely not my brain.
Did he seek to find a freakin' mouse?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 136,657 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIES Ate BRAINS, and, GREW,
Bigger, not, Smarter... We're SCREWED;
To prolong Their REIGN,
They must Eat Our BRAINS;
Then, We, too, won't know, what, to DO!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I need to get a government grant.
Is what Zombie has started to rant.
As brains are not cheap
The price is so steep.
I had to eat the one of my aunt.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 136,785 times)
Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
In THE EMERALD CITY, They met THE WIZ,
Needing some Things, &, That, was His BIZ;
Courage, Heart & BRAIN,
That same, olde, REFRAIN;
"Kill The Wicked Witch - That's Your POP QUIZ!"
Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 136,822 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, MURPH,
Whom, they buried, really, deep, in the EARTH;
Despite their PRECAUTIONS,
He outdid DAVID NAUGHTON;
"UNDEAD, now, I'm going, to prove My WORTH!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Nora.
Who decided to read for the torah.
She didn't look Jewish,
But more sort of bluish.
And she certainly shone a bad aura.
There once was an old golem named Willie.
A monster who was really quite silly.
He would race down the hall
And don his prayer shawl.
Screeching loudly in tones that were shrilly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 136,950 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
We've Arrived, at Page 2-HUNDRED-&-THIRTY!
Oh, My! However, did, We, get, so, WORDY?!
We Must Be, "IN TOUCH",
With MONSTERS & SUCH;
LIMERICKS: as told, by a FLOWER & a BIRDIE!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy named Scotty.
Who needed to go to the potty.
He unwrapped in a bush
And scratched up his tush.
Now his wrappings are all sort of knotty.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 137,111 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-*
COUNT DRACULA spent the Night, AWAITING,
A "New Girl", He was interested, in DATING;
As He stood, on the LAWN,
It was, suddenly, DAWN;
As Ashes, He was blown, down, the GRATING.
:-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Vampire named Mel.
Who really was a creature from Hell.
He'd rip you apart,
And then he would fart,
Posting photos online from his cell.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 137,245 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA'S BRIDE, just, BIT MY NECK!
No Pain, so, I thought: "What The HECK?"
She's, Voluptuously, CURVY,
Turns My World, TOPSY TURVY;
I Need BLOOD, Sleep, by Day - I'm a WRECK!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 137,333 times)
8) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ 8)
There, once, was a YETI, named, HARRY,
For BIGFOOT, the Mail, He did CARRY;
Then, He went, far, A-FIELD,
Took a Job, with S.H.I.E.L.D.S;
Working, for a MONSTER-KID, Named, PERRY!
8) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie is out, wildly flinging his arms.
Showing all that he's crazy, raising alarms.
Neighbors not hiding,
No one is biding.
As we all calmly eat Lucky Charms.
We don't want Zombie near us no more.
I can hear him creeping by our door.
Should we poison some brains?
Or just lock it in chains?
Zombies, roaches and rats, we ahbor.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 137,787 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank:
THE MUMMY climbed the Pyramid's STEPS,
Then, into the Burial Chamber, He LEAPT;
"Having been Cursed, to ROAM,
There's, no, place, like, HOME!"
Shutting the Sarcophagus Lid, He SLEPT!
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
YIPES, my bed is so damn Crummy!
Shouted old Nicolas the mummy.
I should unwrap my sheets,
Before attacking the eats.
But this sandwich is just so yummy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 137,970 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIES went, to War, with THE GHOULS,
Believing They were, just, "BRAINLESS FOOLS";
'Twas a MAJOR FEAT,
To consume, all, that MEAT;
The Victory Feast was where "ZOMBIES RULE!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Minnie.
Who was told she was way too skinny.
Thus the way to all fats.
Was to eat under hats.
If she wanted to marry Vinny.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 138,015 times)
:o ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :o
THE GHOST Of CALAVERAS COUNTY,
Came, from CANADA, as a MOUNTIE;
Trapped, in the FOG,
He stepped, on a FROG;
And, was, later, killed, for the BOUNTY!
:o ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Their once was a vampire named Clark.
Who didn't like living in the dark.
He shot for the fun,
To get him some sun.
That is how he went up in a spark.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 138,123 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt
VAMPIRES, ZOMBIES, And, GHOULS,
Like, spinning a Yarn, from a SPOOL;
The Stories RELATE,
Like, a Bite, to The PATE;
THE FANG-MILY'S Gems, not, JEWELS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie so dumb.
That it made our minds very numb.
He did not have a spine
And tried to cross the line.
Running all the way home to mum.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 138,233 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
I do, hope, that, You'll Forgive ME,
We had a Death, in Our FANG-MILY;
I missed, YESTERDAY,
Forced, to stay, AWAY;
As Our Olde Computer died, You SEE.
tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Again and again, we have the last laugh.
As once more Zombie did not get it by half.
Thus, when the bell tolls,
Zombie's head so rolls.
Foully committing yet another gaffe.
Evil monsters are these machines.
Pretend friends, wicked queens.
They often bail.
Frankly just fail.
Glad you've revived your screens.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 138,333 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D
Our Brand-New Computer is Shaken and CHURNED,
And, Ready, to roll, so, let's see, what, I've LEARNED;
I'm back, for more FUN,
With Ye Limerick PUN;
I'll CARRY ON, VAMPIRE, Hoping, Not, to get BURNED!
;D ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Chuck.
Who was goofy, a bit of a schmuck.
His peers were amused,
That he was confused.
And never knew which part he should suck.
There once was a vampire named Dave.
Who really needed a good close shave.
His nails like a thorn.
Hair that should be shorn.
Looking like he stumbled out of a grave.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 138,433 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Confused
I, once, knew a Zombie, named HUMPERDINK,
Poor Lad, He was, horribly, addicted, to DRINK;
Even, His Zombie ROT,
Craved Brains, from SOTS;
Claimed, that, it Sobered Him, up, to THINK!
Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
On Tuesday the Zombie went missing.
We could not hear him rant or hissing.
A missing token.
And nonsense spoken.
Red headed Lucy he was kissing.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 138,555 times)
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
Every MONSTER has Its own STORY,
Pathos, Sorrow, wrapped, up, in GORY;
Emotions, portrayed, are REAL,
Helpful, for a Book-To-Film DEAL;
The Best get BORIS, BELA, or, PETER LORRE!
ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 138,683 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
The NINJA ZOMBIES Practice STEALTH,
Pretend, to be, in the Best, of HEALTH;
Unleashing Their POWER,
In The MIDNIGHT HOUR;
A Fortune, in Brains, They count, as WEALTH!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie so brash.
Who decided to spill his trash.
So just before the dawn.
It ended on my lawn.
Which stinks of rancid brains and hash.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 138,811 times)
The GLOAMING is the low light that is seen in the Evening, as the sun sets.
i.e. "Fireflies twinkled in the gloaming." [= in the Twilight; at Dusk]
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
When, in Rome, do, as THE ROMANS,
When you GLOAM, do, as THE GLOAMIN';
Set, Afire, many, PYRES,
And, Avoid VAMPIRES;
Try, to Stay, LOW, like, WILLY LOMAN!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 138,811 times)
The GLOAMING is the low light that is seen in the Evening, as the sun sets.
i.e. "Fireflies twinkled in the gloaming." [= in the Twilight; at Dusk]
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
When, in Rome, do, as THE ROMANS,
When you GLOAM, do, as THE GLOAMIN';
Set, Afire, many, PYRES,
And, Avoid VAMPIRES;
Try, to Stay, LOW, like, WILLY LOMAN!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Roy.
It could never be said that he was coy.
He took a young miss,
And gave her a kiss.
Before turning her blood into soy.
The dreams that came to me last night.
Gave me quite the most horrid fright.
It was very bad,
That they were so sad.
I was shaking at the first light.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 139,083 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
I, once, knew a ZOMBIE, so, DAPPER,
That, He had, no, need, of The CRAPPER;
His wallet, full, of BENNYS,
Back, in The ROARING 20's;
Won Him the LOVE, of MINNIE, The FLAPPER!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 139,159 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE was, poised, to STRIKE,
He'd found a Beautiful Girl, to "LIKE";
Tracked, down, Her ADDRESS,
But, soon, left, in a MESS;
"She" was, really, a Guy, named MIKE!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Careen.
Who was also a bitch and very mean.
She had no moral codes,
Thus went into strange modes.
Before her kill, a whisper of words obscene.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 139,313 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
I, once, knew, an Old Bat, from ELMIRA,
Fancied, herself, on a Par, with ELVIRA;
She was tall, dark and LEAN,
Quite, a Fright, on HALLOWEEN;
Got, Sucked, Dry, by My Friend, VAMPIRA!
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie named Pete.
Who really did not like raw meat.
While looking for some grub,
He stepped into a pub.
Hoping for burnt brains as a treat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 139,423 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA had decided, once, AGAIN,
To broaden His mind, using ZEN;
"I'll do, as I PLEASE,
I love good CHINESE;
It helps, to keep My mind, OPEN!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This morning just an hour before dawn.
We spied Zombie making a mess on our lawn.
I know he's insane
And doesn't have a brain.
Or he would never eat the poisoned prawn.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 139,553 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :blank:
Through the dark Forest, The WEREWOLF, LOPED,
'Neath the Full Moon, with His CURSE, He COPED;
His Blood-Lust, AFIRE,
He sank, in the MIRE;
And, 'til THE DAWN, Broke, He, just, MOPED!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Ruth,
Hundreds of years old and no youth.
Her favorite play toys,
Were young silly boys
Who were dazzled by her wisdom tooth.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 139,680 times)
:angel: ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
QUASIMODO set, out, on a QUEST,
Far-flung, from CHINA, to BUDAPEST;
Settled, down, for GOOD,
In Olde HOLLYWOOD;
You'll see him, nowadays, at MASK-FEST!
:angel: ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Murray.
Who was hungry and thus in a hurry.
He did have the knack,
For grabbing a snack.
Of young Indian girls for a curry.
There once was a Zombie named Bart.
Who liked to eat brains and to fart.
Alas, the stink was bad,
And it made us all mad.
When his gas would start to depart.
There once was a vampire named Laurie.
Who would faint when things got too gory.
This was a quirk,
That didn't quite work
And sounds a bit like a tall story
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 139,878 times)
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
Funny, or, strange, just, how, Time PLAYS,
Been, without, a Computer, for Two DAYS,
Then, over, Our Son CAME,
Found the weak link, to BLAME;
&, Restored it, to Function, like, ALWAYS!
:angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 139,915 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel:
We're closing, in, on 140,000 READS,
We give half-wit Humour, that, BLEEDS;
No, Ve, Ain't, KEEDING,
It's a Sign, of Good BREEDING;
Only, 860,085, to Go, 'til We're FREED!
:angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a odd fiend named Joan.
An evil witch, plus an old crone.
She was not very slick
And would fail at a trick
She's extremely accident prone.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 140,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA was, seemingly, VEXED,
To Reason, Out, His Existence's CONTEXT;
"Yes, Time hangs, so, HEAVY,
That, I've Chosen A BEVY;
Of VAMPIRE BRIDES... ;) ... OVER-SEXED!"
thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a lady from Worchester
who claimed that a rooster seduced her
when asked of the bird
why he's covered in turd
he said: it just all came out
when I goosed her
In the Black Lagoon lived a Creature
whose gills on its neck it did feature
a girl swam in his lair
now five mackerel she'll bear
No more skinny dipping in lakes, that'll teach her.
There once was a vampire named Bennie.
Who looked like the actor Michael Rennie.
It gave him a chill,
When the earth stood still
But won him the heart of the fair Jenny.
There once was a girl from Vasaria,
who came down with a case of Malaria.
Drac sucked out her blood,
then passed out with a thud
now the vampires are all in hysteria
There once was a Zombie very nuts,
Who was also an idiot klutz.
When he would shamble,
Neighbors did ramble.
How much they hated his bloody guts.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 140,140 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I, once, knew a VAMPIRE, COUNT HUSKULAR,
Who prided, Himself, on being MUSCULAR;
His manner, of COPING,
Was Smart BLOOD-DOPING;
Made, all, of His Pumps, most, CORPUSCULAR!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Remember Kharis the Mummy
in his tomb as stiff as a dummy
on him linen was hung
and they cut out his tongue
with Ananka he got way too chummy.
There was a werewolf named Leon
fangs and fur his face you can see on
to the people in Spain
he turned out quite a pain
all the hydrants in town he would(http://www.tourspecgolf.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/tsg_smiley_censored.gif)
There once was a vampire named Dennis.
Who was really a pest and thus a menace.
He was lacking in brains,
And could not find veins,
So he left it all to go play tennis.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 140,225 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES went, out, to EAT,
Which, is, normally, no, mean, FEAT;
In Their Carriage, quite, COSTLY,
They rode, silently, GHOSTLY;
Saving wear and tear, on Their FEET!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Medusa feasted on grapes
amongst the human stone shapes
with those snakes in her hair
contemplate, do we dare
if her carpet indeed matches her drapes
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 140,333 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
THE YETI started, an Amazing COLLECTION,
Of Things, that, He considered "PERFECTION";
He scavenged, without MEASURE,
A Huge Mass, of TREASURE;
Like, DRACULA'S Mirror {sans REFLECTION}!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Monsters, Zombies, Vampires gather.
Mouths foaming, soaked with bloody lather.
Soon their time will come,
When drinking tainted rum,
That they start shrieking crazy blather.
There is Ymir the monster from Venus
who'd attack us at once if he'd seen us
if you ask are there more,
do not fret on that score
the beast has no discernable(http://www.tourspecgolf.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/tsg_smiley_censored.gif)
There once was a zombie named Shelly,
Who was suddenly had a big belly.
Thus was on a whim
That she was with Jim.
Playing spoke and rim or just felly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 140,555 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Confused
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, SURREAL,
Who yearned, to learn, how, Humans FEEL;
An Aerial MANEUVER,
Landed Him, in the SEWER;
A Giant ALLIGATOR Ate Him, like, VEAL!!!!
Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 140,595 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
Sometimes, You have, to brings, KNIVES,
Against MONSTERS, Who try, to CONNIVE;
Resorting, to POP-GUNS,
'Gainst a MONSTER, Who PUNS;
And, bring Stakes, for DRACULA'S WIVES!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a fellow named of Costello
Hey ABBOTT! was what he was known to bellow.
At times he would so boast,
That he could hold that ghost.
As his voice would quiver like a bowl of jello.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 140,767 times)
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ;D
THE MUMMY'S dress-code caught my EYE,
I'd thought, They wrapped-up, "On The FLY";
I admit, to being WRONG,
'Cos They're comin', on STRONG;
With Designer Bandages, Now, in THREE-PLY!
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie without a clue.
Her reasoning skills were hard to construe.
If one tried to talk,
Then she would just baulk.
She was deer in the headlights coo coo.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 140,893 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Even's Sun, set, promptly, at SIX-O-FOUR,
So, no, longer, does COUNT DRACULA, SNORE;
When, in, comes Van HELSING,
To make "Someone, Else", SING;
SAD VLAD, as the Stake gives, Him, "WHAT-FOR"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This monster I can not comprehend.
He just went out, accosted my friend.
There will be a fence.
Brain dead, thus so dense.
No Zombie crossings, this is the end.
The season will soon be Halloween.
Zombies, ghosts, ghouls, monsters to be seen.
Some will dress in rags,
Others as ugly hags.
Tricks and treats for all .. a happy scene.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 141,028 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
An arrow killed DRACULA'S DAUGHTER,
Right, through Her Heart, it CAUGHT HER;
Which, I find, quite, SAD,
As She cremated Her DAD;
But, was DRACULA'S SON, Her BROTHER?!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 141,055 times)
Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named KEVIN,
To, Whom, Laughter was the Ultimate LEAVEN;
It took His Last BREATH,
Resulting, in Real DEATH;
His Happy SOUL Entered LIMERICK HEAVEN!
Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil clueless witch.
Alas, she was wicked and a true bitch.
This vile old meanie
Broke Zombie's weanie.
A broken wand, tossed into a ditch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 141,114 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Razz
I read, about it, in an olde MAGAZINE,
The Evil WITCH, buried, in MARGARINE;
SHE'S, back, from the DEAD,
She's called: "BUTTERHEAD";
Still, Slides, into town, on HALLOWEEN!
Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 141,177 times)
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
A Cyclic Landmark has, Us, in Its THRALL,
As We're moved, to the 1st Day, of FALL;
HALLOWEEN'S GOT 'EM,
This 1st Day, of AUTUMN;
GHOST & GOBLIN Season, again, Y'ALL!
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Today we said good-bye to Yogi.
He said many things, a crafty fogi.
Not Me He for Yoo Hoo
We now cry out Boo Hoo.
Rest in peace and say hi to Bogey
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 141,244 times)
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
Like a BIG WHEEL, with Multiple SPOKES,
We are Known, to be LIMERICK BLOKES;
Ever, Vigilant and READY,
To drop, One, quite, HEADY;
Letting, Loose, with a New Bunch, o' JOKES!
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jerry.
Who needed to lose his bloody cherry.
He saw a likely bloke.
But ran before the poke.
And hid his shame by drinking port sherry.
There once was a zombie named Miss Scott.
Who only ate brains covered in snot.
She found it so tricky,
To eat brains so sticky.
Thus had to lick her fingers a lot.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 141,464 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
I challenged DRACULA, to a DUEL,
Because He was being, so, CRUEL;
I pulled, out, a STAKE,
He turned, it, into a SNAKE;
so, I told Him, He was being a FOOL!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 141,545 times)
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
THE MUMMY Performed an IMPOSSIBLE FEAT,
As He Joined, His FRIENDS, for TRICK-OR-TREAT;
With His MAGIC, ADMIRED,
Set, Himself, ON FIRE;
Then, Walked, the Whole Night, Without FEET!
thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Beyond the Triffids, Zombie did stalk.
Watching us folk, we want him to talk.
The screams shall be grim.
Triffids will eat him.
While the busy bodies stare and gawk.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 141,690 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, LON,
Who awoke, each, Night, with a YAWN,
Which, caused, Him, to LAUGH,
That, turned, Him, into a BAT;
Who said: "Drat! Too, dark, to mow, the LAWN!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We seem to be several members short.
On Zacherle's birthday, where is Gasport?
I hope that he is fine.
Or just filled with wine.
Come back on your own or we might exhort.
Evil ones gathered, our alarm did bleep.
Jarring us out of our deep deep sleep.
In darkness they plot.
But they scare us not.
Golem protects us, now they shall weep.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 141,888 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
The last nights, of September, were MILD,
'Til The Blood Moon turned, Things, WILD;
WEREWOLVES, on the PROWL,
You can, now, hear, Them, HOWL;
As The Local Populace are being DEFILED!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Pete.
Who thought that he was one of the elite.
He was such a snob.
And would not hob nob.
With anyone he felt was effete.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 141,977 times)
:o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o
There, once, was a HOMO NALEDI,
Whose name, in Life, had been BETTY;
It proved, quite, CAUSAL,
They discovered Her FOSSIL;
Her new-found fame, was, too, HEADY!
:o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ :o ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 142,015 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES, met, in an ENCLAVE,
So, SECRET, 'twas, held, in a CAVE;
'Twas ye Same, Olde, STORY,
Since We read, from FORRY;
Plans, to make Humanity, Their SLAVES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As monsters return this time of year.
They bring with them many things to fear.
It's not fun and groovy,
To watch some old movie.
If chills and thrills then bring on a tear.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 142,142 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ :o
"AROUND THE WORLD?!" Said PASSEPARTOUT.
"IN EIGHTY DAYS! Or, Less!" Said FU MANCHU.
"This World's, Gone, To The DOGS!"
Spake A Perturbed PHINEAS FOGG;
"What Do These Cryptic Numbers Mean: 142,142?"
:o ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Tracy
Who hung around her sister Gracie.
Large breasts they would bare.
They both had a pair.
That even Hammer would find racy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 142,255 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
'Twas a DARK, and, STORMY, NIGHT,
EERIE, Enough, to Cause A FRIGHT;
Dear, Olde, OLLIE & STAN,
MEET THE WOLF MAN;
Now, there's a Film Classic, with BITE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 142,364 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~ Zombie Confused
There, once, was a Zombie, MAURICE,
Who was bit, back, in Ancient GREECE;
He's gone, nearly, INSANE,
From looking, for BRAINS;
The lack, thereof, gives, Him, no, PEACE!
Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 142,444 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE Issued, Forth, From Her TOMB,
Exclaiming, "Oh, I Must Have, More, ROOM!"
"For Parties, And, LAUGHIN',
And, Many, More, COFFINS;
Completing My Desire: A Handsome GROOM!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Sable.
Who did not bring much to the table.
From dust until dawn,
All she did was yawn.
And complain to about her sister Mable.
There once was a vampire named Chang.
Who wanted a good old fashioned bang.
He found a sweet tart,
But she was so smart.
That she gave him a kick to his wang.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 142,701 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, BOB,
Who, with poor Farmers, liked, to HOB-NOB;
They grew, food, from the MUD,
Which gave, them, Healthy BLOOD;
It Tasted, Sweeter, than CORN-ON-THE-COB!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Mona was a very sexy mummy.
No one could deny that she was yummy.
Linen wrapped so tight.
Everything looked right.
With Dracula she was very chummy.
There once was a gypsy woman named Jane.
Who secretly journeyed from the Ukraine.
She had to meet Meyer.
And kill the vampire.
That was killing in a way not humane.
.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 143,111 times)
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
An Olde Friend, of Mine, named, FREDDY,
Is, Now, classified, as a HOMO NALEDI;
Reputedly, a STALLION,
But, He can't be ITALIAN,
Except... for His Love, of SPAGHETTI!
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 143,285 times)
Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, VINCENT,
Whose Skills were, Charmingly, NASCENT;
He'd Shuffle and GRASP,
With His Voice, in a RASP;
Calling, out: "BRRRAAAIIINNSS!", Quite, DECENT!
Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie from Cork,
Who only ate brains with a fork.
He was so very neat,
As he ate to replete.
That they booked him a gig in New York.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 143,413 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz
ZOMBIE had a Starring Role, in that VENUE,
On OFF-BROADWAY, near SECOND AVENUE;
He "Stole The SHOW",
& through Brains, did MOW;
At Curtain Call, He passed a Massive POO!
Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Dylan.
Who was the winner of a million.
So things looked sunny,
As he poured his honey.
Over the brains of a vaudevillian.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 143,655 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
The CREATURE swam, out, of the POOL,
His Plans, for the World, to RULE;
He rented, out, His CAVE,
To Exotic, Gorgeous, BABES;
In Hopes, of attracting, unwary FOOLS!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 143,777 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
So, many, Women, COUNT DRACULA has KISSED,
We Know, those VAMPIRES, are, hard, to RESIST;
If, His Kind, is, to THRIVE,
He needs, Many, WIVES;
That explains His Becoming a Great BIGGA' MIST!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a warlock named Zack.
Who often hid behind a shack.
His spells often failed.
Couldn't get them nailed.
He really didn't have the knack.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 143,970 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :o
All, Reports, seemed, Severely, OUTLANDISH,
As Bizarre, as a Fantasy-Writer, might WISH;
An Unbelievable TOPIC,
Arriving, from the TROPICS;
A Strange Description, of a Wild MAN-FISH!
:o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Claire.
Who always seemed to be everywhere.
At a Zombie party,
Or anywhere arty.
For dramatics she just had the flair.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 144,044 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :angel:
THEY don't, Do, much, save, PERUSE,
To SPEAK, mayhap, Would CONFUSE;
When THEY Draw, NEAR,
THEY Exhibit, No, FEAR;
Then, LEAVE, having, Nothing, to LOSE.
:angel: ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Today we listened to Zombie's lies.
The guy is crazy look in his eyes.
Nothing is fixed.
His deal is nixed.
We have decided to go for the prize.
As I listen to Zombie yell with rage.
I wonder when he'll leave, turn the page.
The guy is just crazy,
Both hostile and lazy.
Eating tainted brains, monster needs a cage.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 144,200 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE FESTIVAL OF NEW CORN
The VILLAGERS Ate CORN-ON-THE-COB,
The VAMPIRES Assembled, in a MOB;
The Battle was PITCHED,
If You discount One GLITCH;
They were, ALL, Consumed, by THE BLOB!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 144,259 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
The OCTOBER WINDS, are A-BLOWING,
JACK-O-LANTERNS, Now, are SHOWING;
I'm About, to FREAK,
In a Couple, o' WEEKS:
HALLOWEEN; &, I Hope, It ain't SNOWING!
:blank: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire who wore Armani.
I believe that he told people he was Bahraini.
Wearing his heart on his sleeve.
Thus he would then aggrieve.
About Maria, the wonderful Romani.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 144,355 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
Two, Young, VAMPIRES decided, to ELOPE,
By sharing Their Eternity, They could COPE;
They felt, LOVE, so, TRUE,
They were, Nevermore, BLUE;
Now, They SPARKLE, and, Need, No, SOAP!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Mandy.
Who ate them brains like they were candy.
They were her only treat
She found them really sweet.
Plus they caused her to become randy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 144,404 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
BELA LUGOSI was, TRULY, A STAR,
Continental, Charming and BIZARRE;
His Work, LEGENDARY,
VAMPIRE TOOTH-FAERIE;
Between Takes, a Big Toke, of CIGAR!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 144,444 times)
;) ____ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ____ ;)
IT came and went, whilst I SLEPT,
In the Wee, Small, Hours, it CREPT;
Filtered, out, CYBER-DOORS,
Moi TREASURE, Of FOURS;
So, Here, IT is, Now; Promise KEPT!
;) ____ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ;D ____ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Patty
Who liked to eat brains that were fatty.
She would chant "What the heck?"
As sauce drips down her neck.
This zombie wasn't very natty.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 144,599 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Olde Graveyard, Winds, blowing, WILD,
The FULL MOON'S Light, cast, benignly, MILD;
Deep, in His CRYPT,
Coffin-Lid, FLIPPED;
COUNT DRACULA Awoke... Then, He SMILED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Clark.
Who took his victims to the park.
When he was ready,
He would become heady.
And start to whistle like a lark.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 144,744 times)
>:( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ >:(
The WITCHES went, about, "KILLING SWINE",
LAUGHING, like, MAD, as if, IT, were WINE;
"We'll be Your DEATH,
Dear, olde, MacBETH;
To Crown, Yourself, KING, just, isn't Your LINE!"
>:( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie is such a creepy louse.
We don't want him around our house.
Brains rotting in his bins.
A host of other sins.
Even worse is his ugly spouse.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 144,924 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, Named, CAROLINE,
CONNOISSEUR, of BLOOD, Drank, IT, like, WINE;
She Declared it, "NO HASSLE",
When She entered a CASTLE;
Married a DOCTOR, There, Named, FRANKENSTEIN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 145,105 times)
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
COUNT DRACULA Sported a Odd MUSTACHIO,
'Twas, the, unlikely, Colour, of PISTACHIO;
Beneath, It, just, SOUTH,
When He'd Open His MOUTH;
Laughter was Replaced, by a Terrified "UH-OH!"
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a crazy old witch.
Or maybe she was just a bitch.
She'd rip up your lawn
And then she would yawn
Until she was found dead in a ditch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 145,315 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :blank:
From Outer Space, came The KILLER TOMATOES,
Ruining, My VACATION, in SUNNY BARBADOS;
It's, All, TRUE, I SWEAR,
KETCHUP, EVERYWHERE!
Thank Goodness, for those Freak TORNADOES!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a guy named Jerome.
Most people thought he was a gnome.
Because he was short
And had a large wart
Plus lived in a hut of woven brome.
The evil snake woman was around.
She did slither close on the ground.
We knew that she was near.
And attempting to hear.
About the magic spell we had found.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 145,694 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'(
I remember that Guy, you called, JEROME.
Had a head, like, Erik, the Phantom's DOME.
His dates, always, SHORT,
The Ladies would ABORT;
He lived, on a diet, of Humus and LOAM!
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 145,755 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ tynhrt :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
Honoured, to Celebrate, a BIRTHDAY, TODAY,
As BETH and I Enjoy a Refreshing GET-AWAY;
Our Congenial HOSTS,
Olde Colonial GHOSTS;
Classic WILLIAMSBURG, what, more, can I SAY?
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ tynhrt :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 145,885 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
Everyone's Life is wound, like, a SKEIN,
For some, It is Good, for others, MEAN;
6 years, now, I'm BLESSED,
With my Loving Wife, BETH;
My Love, for Her, surpasses HALLOWEEN!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Today, we lost the beautiful Maureen.
Miss O'Hara lit up the silver screen..
"The Foxes of Harrow"
To "The Fallen Sparrow"
She delighted us on every scene.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 146,020 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
For MAUREEN O'HARA, We're, in MOURNING,
As Her HEAVENLY JOURNEY Is A-BORNING;
She paid her dues, HERE,
May She Live, Free, of FEAR;
In Brightest LOVE, of EVERNOW'S MORNING!
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 146,100 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Sailed, on THE VESTA,
So, RENFIELD was DRACULA'S GUEST, EH?!
"Just, one Sip, of Old WINE,
Then, upon, him, I DINED;
Now, He's a Slave, to My QUEST, HAH!!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Silly Sally.
Who gathered her friends for a ghoul rally.
So on Halloween,
They would make the scene
And haunt all who dared enter the alley.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 146,164 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
WEIRD TALES, Of HORROR, MENACE, And WOE,
From THE MONSTERS, Whom, We, All, KNOW;
Conquest and REVERSAL,
Made, By UNIVERSAL;
CLASSIC APPEAL Equals: "ON WITH THE SHOW!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
All the ghosts are gathering for the day.
When they can openly go out and play.
They can be mean.
On Halloween
And not worry about what to say.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 146,350 times)
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
THE GANG was hunting, down, DRAC,
By following, many, assorted, FACTS;
Things went, Bad, to WORSE,
The COUNT found, Them, FIRST;
Turned, Them, all, into SCOOBY SNACKS!
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Mummy named Polly.
Who trick or treated, which was jolly.
She took her friend Sandy
And they begged for candy.
Getting chocolates, chips and a lolly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 146,810 times)
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
WHO goes, there, I say, Friend, or, FOE?!
I said "HALT!", because, I, really, must KNOW!
I, don't, like, to FRET,
As the Sun is, now, SET;
And, I cannot, help, but, Notice Your GLOW!"
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch named Mandy.
Who gave out Halloween candy.
But all was not well
The treats had a spell.
Which turned the tricksters very randy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 147,110 times)
thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS Yelled: "YEAH! ALL RIGHT!"
"WE must, Wait, just, one, more, NIGHT;
It's, in Our GENES,
To 'DO HALLOWEEN';
And, Take MORTALS, Out, For A BITE!"
thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Sitting on our fence are some crows.
Zombie saw them, and then he froze.
Can it really be?
Crows caused him to flee.
Halloween magic, I suppose.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 147,267 times)
Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Censored
I, once, knew a ZOMBIE, from FRANCE,
Who exuded a HIDEOUS "FRAGRANCE";
It remained, rather, MUFFLED,
If His feet, merely, SHUFFLED;
But, STANK, if He broke, out, in DANCE!
Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Censored
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 147,380 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :blank:
Fairly, Rare, posting, Twice, in one DAY,
Howe'er, 'tis, quite, Nice, to SAY;
"I'm Full, of BEANS,
And, 'tis HALLOWEEN;
Now, that, You KNOW... RUN, AWAY!!!!"
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 147,599 Times)
>:D ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
FUNNY, HOW, WE Juxtapose FALL'S HAINTS,
Wherein, People, Fearful, Scream and FAINT;
By the Plight, of Old DISMAS,
We Pilgrimage, to CHRISTMAS;
Mindful, THIS DAY, to HONOUR, ALL, SAINTS!
>:D ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 147,855 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a GHOST, called SPOOKY SAM,
Whose Computer was riddled, with Gnarly SPAM;
As That, stuck, in His GULLET,
He riddled, it, with BULLETS;
It "Gave, Up, The Ghost", in Toilet, was CRAMMED!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was witch without a dime.
Who decided to find some keylime
She said with a sigh,
I need to bake pie.
That will enchant fools in quick time.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 148,148 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
STANLEY was a GHOUL, who could DANCE,
His accent, muffled, was He, from FRANCE?
Long, ago, made a TRIP,
That was His Fatal SLIP;
Into a Nest, of the Deadly, FER-De-LANCE!
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I don't know why some are being so rash.
Just tossing their pumpkins out with their trash.
Should we tell Michael
He has to recycle.
It takes no time to do it right and then dash.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 148,388 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
"There's, more than, 1 way, to Skin a GHOST!"
Spake the VAMPIRE, Who Loved, to BOAST;
"And, also, to FEAST,
On a Mythical BEAST;
But, if, You're, like, Me... AVOID THE HOST!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Frank.
Who along with his twin brother Hank.
Were really quite kean.
To keep their fangs clean.
Thus, the brothers were totally swank.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 148,444 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
In His House Of Horrors, MR. MacDOUGAL,
Insisted, upon Appearing, quite, FRUGAL;
Wanted His MONEY, BACK,
A & C "LOST" FRANKIE & DRAC;
Toots His own horn, by blowing a BUGLE!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Minnie.
Who was really silly, a ninny.
Not to be catty.
She was now fatty.
Snacking on pig's brains, she's not skinny.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 148,525 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ hmjfym
I, once, knew A MONSTER, Soooooo, EERIE,
ENGLISH, to a Fault, called, Me, "DEARIE";
Sat, on a Tall STEEPLE,
Ate, Scads, of PEOPLE;
As My Friend, said: "YOU MUSTN'T FEAR ME!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Boo Beal.
Twas so stupid, it was unreal.
What she did was folly.
And cost her much lolly.
Now she's haunting up her next meal.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 148,728 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
All ZOMBIES have, something, in COMMON,
To the Living, with haste, They be BOMBIN';
They have, only, One, LAW,
To, quickly, Use Their JAWS;
Eating Brains, like, they're Noodles, in RAMEN!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch who was so mean.
That on her house we had to place a lien.
She is clueless and strange.
It's said that she has mange.
Thus her nickname is Loco Latrine.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 148,814 times)
;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
I, once, knew a GIANT PRAWN,
Unaware, of, Where, IT had GONE;
IT took a Giant STEP,
Became a SALES REP;
Selling Linoleum, in LEXINGTON!
;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Why are the Zombies always so loud?
They are evil, certainly not proud.
With the I.Q of a plant,
All that they can do is rant.
No wonder they live under a cloud.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 148,900 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES were "Getting Their KICKS",
By Tormenting THE ZOMBIES, with BRICKS;
They'd Smash, In, Their HEADS,
So, THE ZOMBIES Fell, DEAD;
This, All, Happened, "Out, In The STICKS"!
thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 148,955 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD was Trapped, in VAMPIRE SIN,
His will was weak, knew, he'd, never, WIN;
He caught a Lucky BREAK,
They slept, he used STAKES;
Rode, Down the Mountain, on his SCHWINN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie named Jake.
I saw him outside with a rake.
He raked some leaves.
From under my eaves
Then ate them with brains, big mistake.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 149,120 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
That ADAMS FAMILY Member, called, THING,
Lived, in a Vase, of the Dynasty, MING;
He fell, off, His PERCH,
Was Saved, by LURCH;
At a Concert, by A CROSBY, named, BING!
:angel: ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Donny.
Who wanted to marry his sweet Bonnie.
But being undead.
Hath filled her with dread.
So he married her grandmother Connie.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 149,255 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
"Why are ZOMBIES, always, so, LOUD?"
They, always, "Hang, Out", in a CROWD!
Busy, Running INVASIONS,
To Conquer, All, NATIONS;
Instead, of a Quiet Plot, and, a SHROUD.
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie named Queer Stew.
Who found moldy brains in his left shoe.
They stuck to his foot,
And looked like black soot.
How they got there, he had not a clue.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 149388 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
They say, DRACULA was a Stingy MISER,
'Til the night, He failed the BREATHALYZER;
He became a Real PUNK,
After Drinking A DRUNK;
Ended, up, as a large Bag, of FERTILIZER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an old witch named Lynn.
Who took out her broom for a spin.
She was losing her sight
And thus ran a red light.
Flying top speed into her twin.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 149,500 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :blank:
The, once, was a WOLF MAN, named, LENNIE,
Who Transformed, not, One, time, but, MANY;
And, Each time, He LEARNED,
That, He'd, always, be SPURNED;
Until He stole Jokes, from dear, old, JACK BENNY!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Kelley.
Who suddenly grew a big belly.
And then in the loo,
She pushed out some goo.
Which she saved in a jar by the telly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 149,570 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS were Watching OLDE MOVIES,
They Thought, them, to be, Downright, GROOVY;
They Shouted, in CHORUS,
"WE Love BELA and BORIS;
LON, VINCENT & PETER: We're Their GROUPIES!"
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 149,655 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, the Fair Maiden, KISSED,
Then, He fulfilled Her UNDYING WISH;
As He proceeded, to BITE,
On Her Last, Human, NIGHT;
She arose, embracing Him, in the MIST.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a werewolf named Tony.
Who came across a girl too bony.
He gave her a treat.
Which she won't eat.
Not everyone falls for baloney.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 149,727 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
A ZOMBIE-IN-TRAINING, named, FRED,
Was Adapting, to Being UN-DEAD;
A Bad Case, of The MUNCHIES,
He'd Bite, Heads, so, CRUNCHY;
The Results left Him feeling WELL-FED!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Izzy.
Who was eccentric as well as ditsy.
Victims he would shake,
In hope to then make.
Tasty blood shakes, thick and very fizzy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 149,811 times)
ededed ~~~ >:( ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :'(
MONSTER Went MAD, They'd raised His IRE!
Stupid VILLAGERS Attacked Him, with FIRE;
It didn't Drive, Him, AWAY,
NOW, how, They would PAY!
They Squealed, like, Little Girls, in a CHOIR!
ededed ~~~ >:( ~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Today a Zombie roamed down our street.
Looking hungry, searching out brain meat.
He took out a shovel,
In front of a hovel.
Where he bagged a head for Dutch treat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 149,903 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
Our LIMERICKS Are "CLOSING THE GAP",
I, don't, mean, to cause a BIG FLAP;
By the Ghost, of E.A. POE,
A, mere, 97 READS, to GO;
'Til We Land, on the 150,000 Reads MAP!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Peter.
Who would guzzle down blood by the liter.
It dripped down his shirt
And looked like red dirt
He was an incredible sloppy eater.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 149,982 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
KHARIS was Sad, all, His Friends were GONE;
Asleep, in Museums, just, Famous PAWNS;
"I must make AMENDS,
By making New FRIENDS;
I'll start, with a Woman! I'm Fond, of BLONDES!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Pat Pat.
Who would only eat brains from her hat.
She could not tell you why,
Eating from a porkpie.
Hath made her feel like a plutocrat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 150,000 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
MY VENERABLE FRIEND, DR. WHO,
Has helped, Me, with a Thing, or, TWO;
Took Me, Back, In TIME,
'Twas, Truly, SUBLIME;
To Write, This, at 150K Reads! YAHOO!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 150,105 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
Within the very Bowels, of the DUNGEON,
Sat, a Vampire, who, dwelt, in High DUDGEON;
He, never, took a WIFE,
Far, too, Angry, at LIFE;
To, Being, Anything, save, a CURMUDGEON!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an odd mummy named Dean.
Who was in love with the zombie, Jean.
An odd attraction,
Lead to distraction
As they dined on a fresh bloody spleen.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 150,200 times)
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
I, once, had an APE, as a PET,
Unhappily, He started, to FRET;
His Plan did UNFURL,
He kidnapped a GIRL;
They carted him, away, in a NET!
:o ~~~~ :o ~~~ :-* ~~~ :o ~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie named Bruce,
Who really liked to bake his own goose.
While he loved to cook,
But not by the book.
And served up a tasty brain mousse.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 150,333 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank:
THE MUMMY was Trapped, in the SANDS,
A Storm, arose, pinioning His BANDS;
He exclaimed: "CRAP!"
"Now, I must UNWRAP;
Lest, this renders Me, unable, to STAND!"
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 150,501 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a poor Slob, named JED,
Who "Got The Invite", to Join THE UN-DEAD;
A VAMPIRESS VIXEN,
Out, TREAT-Or-TRICKSIN';
"TURNED", Him, as He rode His MOPED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 150,640 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, So, COOL,
That, He made MORTALS, look, like, FOOLS;
His Manners, so, ELITE,
As He'd chew, off, Your FEET;
Made You blush, as He'd hand You a STOOL.
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 150,855 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
There's Someone I miss, by the HOUR,
Who's doing, all, within Her POWER;
One, cannot, REFUTE HER,
When She's, on Her COMPUTER;
THE U.M.A.'s One, and, Only, FLOWER!
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 150,955 times)
;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D
Big birthdays, Nov. 23rd, of BORIS And SARA, :laugh:
Nov. 24th, FORRY A.'s, I, just, gotta TELL YA! ;D
Sad Things make, me, BLUEST, :'(
INGRID PITT and C.S. LEWIS; :-*
Died, on that date, & JFK, too, Boo-Hoo, YEAH. :'(
;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 151,015 times)
u6juu ~~~ :'( ~ :-* ~~~ u6juu
Tomorrow, All, TURKEYS Must DIE!
Pity, Commercial Birds Cannot FLY;
But, Those, Are The FACTS,
Falling, Sharp, As An AXE;
So, Moment, Of Silence... BYE-BYE!
u6juu ~~~ :'( ~ :-* ~~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
YAY, now my computer is home.
Fixed by someone, not a gnome.
I have to catch up.
Or get a new cup.
And start looking for verses and tome.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 151,180 times)
A BLESSED & SAFE & Most HAPPY THANKSGIVING, to Our UMA!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
On This Day, THE MONSTERS Bow, to THE LIVING,
Who've, so, much, to make Their THANKS-GIVING;
"Where LIBERTY is the NORM,
They can watch, US, PERFORM;
Sharing A Prayer, that, Our FILMS are, FOR GIVING!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie so jerky
Who invited a witch for turkey.
Thus, he was not bluffing.
They ate brainy stuffing.
As the menu was odd and quirky.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 151,275 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a Stupid VAMPIRE,
Who, 'ere Dawn, got stuck, in Deep MIRE;
"It was not, My PLAN,
To Sink, in QUICKSAND!"
The Sun, arose, then, He Burst, into FIRE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We really did not tally the score
When the Demon marched to our door.
And right off the bat.
She menaced our cat.
Twas something that we could not ignore.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 151,355 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Played, "IN THE MOOD",
Sentimental, of The Women, He'd WOOED;
As Fodder, for TABLOIDS,
"IXNAY", on The STEROIDS;
But, Yes, All, Parties, Present, Were NUDE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a strange Zombie named Saul.
Who went looking for brains at the mall.
He looked at sweet Mary.
But she was too wary.
And called him a crazy scum ball.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 151,455 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, DIGBY,
Of Diminutive Stature, classified: "PYGMY";
"Hey! Cut the 'Short' CRAP,
Else, I'll Bite Your KNEECAP;
Big things come, in small packages, & I DIG ME!"
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Corey.
Who loved it when things got quite gory.
He would snap a neck
And say 'What the Heck?'
Then drop the bodies in the quarry.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 151,535 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
Six WEREWOLVES walked, into a BAR,
BARKEEP said: "I know, who, you ARE!"
"Seen, each, of Your MOVIES,
And, Y'all, are, So, GROOVY;
Did You walk, here, or, drive, in a CAR?"
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a cool ghost named Meyer.
Who used to be a clothing buyer.
The fashions he would flaunt
In the places that he'd haunt.
Showing off his atest attire.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 151,625 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
I, once, knew a VAMPIRE, ENCASED,
In a COFFIN, of BLOOD, so, DEBASED;
He licked the place, CLEAN,
In a Manner, OBSCENE;
Yet, was, still, by His Brides, EMBRACED!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Saul.
Who wanted to get away from it all.
But where in this great nation,
Could he take a vacation?
So he decided to go on a blood crawl.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 151,735 times)
:D ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ;D
KHARIS, certainly, knew, how, to PARTY,
His Fans, all, Agreed: "Such, a SMARTIE!"
He'd shuffle, and, CHOKE,
Quite, many, a BLOKE;
But, the one Guy, He missed: BILLY BARTY!
:D ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire from Paris.
Who was known to all as Monsieur Marris.
A kiss to each cheek.
Some blood would then leak.
Then he would call for his servant Harris
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 151,865 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, OTTO,
Who dwelt, in a Subterranean GROTTO;
"I live, in CRUD,
&, rely, on Free BLOOD!"
I'm UN-DEAD, and, I Live, by This MOTTO!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie tried to attack Grandmother.
Now he should have chosen another.
She bashed in his head,
We hope that he's dead
And doesn't have an evil brother.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 151,950 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
The Ancient VAMPIRE dwelt, in a *QUOIT,
By Night, His maneuvers were very, ADROIT;
All, around, lived, in FEAR,
Sensing, His Presence, NEAR;
Not, too, shabby, for a KID, Born, in DETROIT!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
*QUOIT : A Single-Chambered, Megalithic, Tomb {Also, referred, to, as a DOLMEN.}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Walt.
Who had a great craving for salt.
He wasn't too smart
Like his brother Art
And ended up locked in a vault.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 152,055 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WOLF MAN walked, into The BAR,
Having, left, His Chauffeur, in The CAR;
One Patron went FETAL,
That Famous, Olde, BEATLE;
You know, of course, it was RINGO STARR!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Carol.
Who held her victims over a barrel.
Slowly, blood would drip
And then she would sip.
Sharing a drink with her boyfriend Darryl.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 152,152 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
THE GNARLY MONSTER arrived, from the MOON,
Its Plan: WORLD DOMINATION, and, SOON!
Bring Our World, to Its KNEES,
With His Stinky, GREEN CHEESE;
We were Saved, by Records, of PAT BOONE!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a pious gremlin named Randall.
Who forgot to light a Hanukkah candle.
The dreidel did spin.
And he did not win.
So he ranted and caused an huge scandal.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 152,222 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE Tripped, over His COFFIN,
"Clumsy, of Me!" Said Un-Dead He, SCOFFIN';
"My CRYPT'S, Bad, ENOUGH,
Without, This, Callin' My BLUFF;
Well, at least, I'm, not, CHARLES LAUGHTON!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Now, I do not want to sound too airy.
I invented the Chanukkah Fairy.
It might be a shame
But I am to blame.
For creating a monster, not scary.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 152,282 times)
;D ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ;D
WEATHER-GUESSERS share an Odd PREDILECTION,
Owing, to Their Issuance, of WEATHER PREDICTIONS;
Yet, WHY, do They LIE,
Saying: "Rain", when it's DRY?
Leading Us, to Believe: They love SCIENCE FICTION!
;D ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Tommy.
Who was known to be kind of balmy.
He would take some pains
To pickle stale brains.
And sell them as kosher pastrami.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 152,370 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
I'm, really, not, one, for DISPUTIN',
The Fate, of that Monster, RASPUTIN;
He did, what, he DID,
In Olde Russia's GRID;
Yet, could, not, escape, the SHOOTIN'!
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I think that this now needs to be written.
A crazy neighbor screamed at my kitten.
Now, I beg your pardon,
She walked through your garden,
No reason to curse us, I wish you bitten.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 152,455 times)
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
I'm told, that, She sang, in the CHOIR,
Accompanied, Herself, on the LYRE;
LIFE'S a Short TETHER,
She's, "Under The WEATHER";
Sadly, Died.. But, is, now, a VAMPIRE!
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a baby vampire bat
Who wanted blood from a juicy rat.
He hunted the lane
A chase quite insane.
Until helped by a little house cat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 152,575 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
I remember, quite, Well, LORD GODALMING,
We tracked olde DRAC, &, studied EMBALMING;
No, Matter, the CHALLENGE,
We Excavated STONEHENGE;
And, drank CHAMOMILE TEA, Most, CALMING!
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Buck.
Who was totally down on his luck.
He broke off his fang
When his cell phone rang
And now he is unable to suck.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 152,690 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA arrived, in This Country, NEW-FANGLED,
In Transit, His Coffin became, Horribly, MANGLED;
The New Flag, as a Banner, DRAPED,
Allowed The COUNT, to Wear His CAPE;
"Wow! These Stars & Stripes, really, are SPANGLED!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Our Zombie set up his Christmas tree.
Topping it with a screaming banshee.
Brains hung with such care
Some from the au pair.
As his children laughed with such glee.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 152,822 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused
The ZOMBIES were preparing, for CHRISTMAS,
"Because We're Un-Dead, It might MISS US;
One thing is, for SURE,
We need, It, all, the MORE;
When We, finally, Die, CHRIST Will KISS US!"
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy from Bordeaux.
Who, with great care, hung his mistletoe.
He was a great lug,
And preferred a hug.
But a kiss gave him such afterglow.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 152,975 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE Coven was EAGER,
To Refill Their Blood supply, MEAGER;
Drove, there, in TANKS,
To Rob The Blood BANK;
Then, Feasted, to Satiate Their HUNGER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Marc.
Who enjoyed to picnic in the park.
He would offer fine wine.
Which was hard to decline.
And then suck on sweet necks in the dark.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 153,113 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :-*
There, once, was a WITCH, so, very, DEMURE,
When She cast a Love-Spell, on a MONSIEUR;
He Fell, Hard, for Her BEAUTY,
And, Considered it, His DUTY;
To, completely, Succumb, to Her Dazzling ALLURE.
:-* ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I think a Zombie lives in that tunnel.
We believe his name is Charlie Runnel.
Our gang has a hunch,
That for Sunday brunch,
He drains thick bloody brains through a funnel.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 153,200 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
REALITY is WEIRD, when lines BLUR,
'Neath Full Moon, with Fangs and FUR;
To Give, or, RECEIVE,
If I must BELIEVE;
That, My BELOVED, just, said: "GRRRR"!
:blank: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy named Bill.
Who longed for a big Christmas thrill.
He wanted old Santa,
To chant out a manta,
While shrouding a woman named Jill.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 153,315 times)
:o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ C:) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
QUASIMODO was, Exultant, at LAST,
Having saved ESMERALDA, and, FAST;
But, PHOEBUS Stepped, IN,
Took, Her, away, from HIM;
Then, He, mysteriously, died, in the BLAST.
:o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ C:) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil witch named Holly.
Who was chubby but not very jolly.
She cast an old spell
But not very well.
And turned into a furious Collie.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 153,404 times)
:'( ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :'(
I'm Plagued, by One, Major, REGRET,
That, I, Slowly, Murdered BOBA FETT;
Yes, He had, to SUFFER,
Using, Time, as a BUFFER;
That's His Corpse, caught, in My NET.
:'( ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a goblin named Terry.
Who really knocked back lots of sherry.
Before you could wink.
He'd finish his drink.
And start his mischief bright and merry.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 153,492 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES sang YULETIDE CAROLS,
Rolling, out, Their BLOOD-FILLED BARRELS;
They put, on a SHOW,
Amid Ice and SNOW;
Joined, in Chorus, by Olde WILL FERRELL!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jim.
His victims he would find in the gym.
Their hearts would be thumping.
His fangs would start pumping.
Killing on treadmills kept him quite slim.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 153,599 times)
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Grin
The ZOMBIES escaped, from The MORGUE,
Chased, by The Rampant HIVE, of THE BORG;
They ran, 'round, the CORNER,
And, there, Ate The CORONER;
Then, Blogged, All, about It, on ZOMBIES.ORG!
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Our Mummy was wrapped in fresh gauze.
He was waiting to see Santa Claus.
Cookie and milk
Things of that ilk
Gave Santa some reasons to pause.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 153,690 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I Arrived, at the MONSTER CONVENTION,
As Ghouls and Goblins, vied, for ATTENTION;
I was, quite, BREATHLESS,
'Cos The Vampires, DEATHLESS;
Left, on My neck, Their Fangs' INDENTION!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie laid out a trap to catch Santa.
He laid out plates of cookies with Fanta.
But trapping is an art
And Zombie's not real smart
Thus no brains in his stocking, I grant ya.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 153,802 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ tynhrt
I know, that, it wasn't, for lack, of TRYING,
That, The ZOMBIES fell, ill, and, were DYING;
They needed a TRAINER,
Well, 'Duh! 'a "NO-BRAINER";
At Their funerals, there was, no one, CRYING!
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie thought that he would attempt a trick.
And would disguise himself as old St. Nick.
It did not work.
He went berserk
Ranted and raved he was a Bolshevik.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 153,883 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
Some MONSTERS are, Victims, of One TOPIC,
Their "World-View", more, than, a trifle, MYOPIC;
Their version, of UTOPIA,
Results, of Delusional MYOPIA;
Settling Arguments, with Fangs, or, an ICE-PICK.
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie invited him for Christmas cheer.
Mumbling something not very clear.
Singing a Yuletide song.
While taking out his dong.
Under the mistletoe, oh so queer.
Hey. wow! Has anyone else noticed that Flower is now the first woman poster to not only exceed 10,000 posts but to receive over 1000 likes as well?
???
Congratulations to Flower!
8)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 154,022 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
The Devil & his host, feared CHRISTMAS EVE,
Holy Light penetrates darkness, like a SIEVE;
GOD'S Child was BORN,
Evil's power was TORN,
By LOVE DIVINE, if, only, the Child-like, BELIEVE.
:angel: ~~~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The screaming woke me this Christmas dawn.
Little devils racing on the lawn.
It was not for good
They woke the whole hood
Merry Christmas from the neighbor's spawn.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 154,075 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS were, All, going, SPASTIC,
But, it had, to be done, something, DRASTIC;
It was, only, one, NIGHT,
To Bed, without, LIGHTS;
To await SANTA'S Gifts, 'cos He's a CLASSIC!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie, her name was Joyce.
Being a brain eater was not her first choice.
She longed for some veggies,
Or potato wedgies.
Thus munching on Vegans made her rejoice.
I hear Zombie shambling, making noise.
No one can accuse him of having poise.
Maybe the brain candy
Is making him Randy?
Or Santa didn't deliver fun toys.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 154,315 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
I'm peddling, Uphill, in LIMERICK CONUNDRUMS,
Most, just, "POP, THROUGH", without any ONIONS;
"We LOVE, Them, that WAY!"
THE MONSTERS, All, SAY;
"Because, They'd, otherwise, give, US, BUNIONS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 154,350 times)
;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o
These TWELVE DAYS, of CHRISTMAS,
Fill, up, notably, my Present and PAST;
But, don't "POP" a SUTURE,
Or, there goes The FUTURE;
Too, avoid Beans, as They cause GAS!
;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Stan.
Who generously tipped his doorman.
He was quite the sport
Who much loved his port
And thought that Stan was the Batman.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 154,488 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
"Keep Thy FANGS, Clean!" VAMPIRES PREACH,
They speak, thusly, "The NEWBIES", to TEACH;
"Get, to bed, before DAWN,
1 Second, Late, & You're GONE!
We're Unable, to Help, if You're, Out, Of REACH!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As Zombie shambles thru wintry slush.
His brain has rotted and thus is mush.
A post Christmas glare,
A blank mental stare.
He provokes images of things to flush.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 154,654 times)
8) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ 8)
On Thursday, we close, out the CYCLE,
Baby New Year arrives, on a TRICYCLE;
Hey, but, we SAY,
"O.K., Wot the HAY?!"
Another Year, for Our PUNS, to RECYCLE!
8) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
All we want is a zombie free Year.
And don't need to live with this fear.
It's not that we're yellow.
But when he does bellow.
Folks aren't safe in our biosphere.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 154,800 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I challenged COUNT DRACULA, to a DUEL,
"Do You take Me, for some kind, of FOOL?!"
'Twas His, only, REPLY,
He turned, BAT, to FLY;
So, I returned, to My Snack: GHOUL GRUEL!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As monsters gather on New Year's Eve.
We think there is something up their sleeve.
The Zombies we hear
And Drac is so near.
From their horror there is no reprieve.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 154,905 times)
:) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
Tonight, at Midnight, beginneth TWENTY-SIXTEEN,
Wouldst Thou tradest Thy Soul, for a New SPLEEN;
Or, for The Fountain, of YOUTH,
Extract Thine Every TOOTH;
Or, Just, Rest, in Thy COFFIN, until HALLOWEEN?!
:) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We prayed this year would be Zombie free.
Alas, bad luck, this was not to be.
Knocking down cans
With giant hands,
He's off on another killing spree.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 155,055 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
'Tis The First Day, of The NEW YEAR!
So, Begone, all, ANXIETY and FEAR;
Live TRUTH & Be CLASSY,
Avoid, Uncouth and GASSY,
Imbibe Red Wine, not, Rot-Gut BEER!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 155,140 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA was looking, quite, FRAZZLED,
"At CHRISTMAS-TIDE, I am, BEDAZZLED;
Nor, do I RESENT,
12 Days, of PRESENTS;
But, then, I must Clean, Up, The CASTLE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Eric.
Who was formerly part of the cleric.
He would love to feast
On any old priest.
And his reasons were quite esoteric.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 155,288 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
A Man, in Black Cape, grabbed THE BARD,
His Teeth, to BILL'S Jugular, bit Him, HARD,
Then, said, with a CHORTLE,
"Now, You're IMMORTAL!"
"Come, with Me, I am COUNT ALUCARD!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Anne.
Who decided to move to Japan.
Her reasons were many.
With people aplenty.
She would likely extend her lifespan.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 155,435 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
Well, I've got, to be, running, ALONG,
But, I'll leave, you, all, with a SONG:
"Don't eat a HALIBUT,
Unless you're LARRY TALBOT;
'Cos, then, your breath is, too, STRONG!"
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a story, long told.
Of a Zombie, named Marigold.
When it would start to freeze
And before one could sneeze.
She'd kill them quickly in the cold..
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 155,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, finished, singing the CODA,
When RENFIELD brought, Him, a BLOOD SODA,
He said, with a SMIRK,
"Now, if, only, You'd TWERK;
You'd be, as popular, as MILEY CYRUS, or, YODA!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I raced outside, I heard a screech.
What hit me was the stink of bleach.
More Zombie trouble.
New bloody rubble.
Created by the brainless leech.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 155,720 times)
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE ZOMBIES have evolved, around ME,
Some, can be found, hanging, from TREES;
Some, try new, THINGS,
They grow Butterfly WINGS;
Some, "chill out", with Brewskis, & Watch TV!
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
All looked upon Zombie with scorn
And wished that he'd never been born.
When he laughed with glee
We would swiftly flee
As it meant he was looking at porn.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 155,855 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA'S BRIDE used Her Feminine WILES,
Knew, that, She could Hypnotize & BEGUILE;
Any Fool, after DARK,
Did, so, oft, for a LARK;
Her "Come-Hither" Look is, Always, In STYLE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Claire.
Who's victims never had a prayer.
Swiftly she would pounce
And drain every ounce.
Laughing all the way back to her lair.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 155,999 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
The COUNTESS seemed, to Grow, YOUNGER,
With Her "Odd" Appetite, and, Insatiable HUNGER;
It had, oft, been SAID,
"She must be UNDEAD!"
So, They staked, Her, at Dawn, with a PLUNGER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Finally a deep rich warm sound sleep.
Something that I wasn't able to keep.
I woke with a start
And held on my heart.
Zombie blasting loud music, that CREEP.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 156,120 times)
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, so, STUPID,
He didn't know, that, His Body was PUTRID;
He went, INSANE,
& Ate His own BRAIN;
Now, He tells, Everyone, that, He's CUPID!
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Tony.
Who wanted to eat some baloney.
He went to the store
But there was no more
So he ate all the abalone.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 156,235 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE GRIM REAPER swung His SICKLE,
It took, out, The STORK and His PICKLE;
MONSTERS are CLASSIC,
But, so, is a VLASIC;
I wish, that, they, just, cost One NICKEL!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Jane.
Who would only come out in the rain.
She looked so confused
But can be excused
Because she was lacking a brain.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 156,359 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS Murdered THE ZOMBIES,
Who worked, for FITCH & ABERCROMBIE;
Their "Lives", UNWOVEN,
Good-Bye, BEETHOVEN;
Over The Rainbow, with WITCH MOMBIE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Hattie.
Who haunted her cousin Pattie.
Cause as you all know,
Pattie stole her beau
And deserves the moans of Catty.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 156,515 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :'(
It would take, more, than a HUNDRED "TRY"S,
And, be, profoundly, impossible, to EULOGIZE;
Our Comrade, DAVID BOWIE,
So, I pray, that, He KNOWS, WE
LOVED Him, &, Bless Him, HOME, In The SKIES!
:'( ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Fern,
Who lusted after Howard Stern,
She fell for his schlock
Then went into shock
As she still continued to yearn,
I wonder if Zombie would be so bold.
As to shamble out into artic cold
In this breeze
He could freeze
Frozen Zombie would be a sight to behold.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 156,777 times)
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
BEWARE! For TODAY, is a Day, to FEAR,
The FIRST FRIDAY 13th, of The YEAR;
It's, so, Big, and, so, BURLY,
It ESCAPED, 2 Days, EARLY;
Just Ignore It, and, Drink, up, Your BEER!
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 156,888 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
Der JANUS-KOPF, Nearly, HALFWAY, DONE,
Past Face, complete, Now Face MOVES, ON;
While January's DREAR,
Kicks, Us, in The REAR;
In Limericks' Light, We Laugh, at New PUNS!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I wonder who's that scary chap.
He bundled in a mummy wrap.
Is it some dummy
Or a real mummy
Looking for victims to trap.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 157,044 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Odd VAMPIRE wandered the GROUNDS,
In search, of a Victim, to Amaze and ASTOUND;
Having, No, LUCK,
He drained a DUCK;
It became COUNT DUCKULA, a Rodeo CLOWN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It is once again a day of gloom.
Thus we wonder now what horrors loom.
Zombie or Mummy
Or just a dummy.
On his way to his Temple of Doom.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 157,217 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
I remember That ZOMBIE, RAPHAEL,
Who came, from The Bowels, of HELL;
Unnaturally, STRONG,
He didn't,last, LONG;
Victims Ran, from His Hideous SMELL!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a wealthy old earl
Who was charmed by vampire Pearl.
Blue blood she did drink
Then what did he think?
That she was just a sexy punk girl?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 157,422 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRES' FEASTING Extended, Past, DAWN,
As VAMPIRE-HUNTERS made, Them, Their PAWN;
Their Underground LAIR,
Had one, Unique, FLAIR;
A "FLIP-TOP" ROOF, to Destroy The HELL-SPAWN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The heartless Zombie, without a soul
Is now outside screaming for a pole.
This piece of crap
Put out a trap.
He's after squirrels, f'king a-hole
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 157,650 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
At, long, last, ye SNOW hath FALLEN,
Yea, WINTERTIME, hath come, A-CALLIN';
It, seems, so, UNFAIR,
That, this FRIGID AIR;
Hath, Mayhap, 3 months, left, for STALLIN'!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Mummy named Trish.
Who harbored a very strange wish.
To unwrap her face
And to pop in place
A kosher potato knish
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 157,890 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ???
I've seen that MONSTER, Olde Man WINTER,
Use His Work, to make our Hearts, SPLINTER;
Oh, it has a Nice RING:
"'Twill, soon, be SPRING!"
That's, in the Long Run, Unfit, for a SPRINTER!
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a foul creature named Scott.
A brainless female, I kid you not.
Organs she loudly bangs
Upsetting us with clangs
No brains in her head, just dry rot.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 158,110 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE MONSTER that Escaped, from SCHENECTADY,
Was "In a New York Minute", the Soul, of BREVITY;
He'd rip, &, He'd POKE,
But, still, tell a JOKE;
Infusing His Gruesome "Talents", with LEVITY!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Once upon a time, the world was serene,
The sun shone brightly and the grass was green.
As I watched from the ridge
You crossed the rainbow bridge.
A broken heart in a world now mean.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 158,355 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER had reached an IMPASSE,
In an Attempt, to win, the Love, of a LASS;
Then, He made BOLD,
When, all, has been TOLD;
Convincing Her, He runs, on Electricity, not, GAS!
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
So tripping over the undead
Is something that all humans dread.
We must use care
And be aware
Of exactly where we need tread
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 158,570 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE shared this Weird STORY,
Which He'd heard, from UNCLE FORRY;
It added, up, the STATS,
Of Folks, who went BATS;
Viewing the Artwork, of EDWARD GOREY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Vampire named Leigh.
Who invited me over for high tea.
The raspberry scones.
Resembled old crones
I passed on them and ate all the brie.
There once was a zombie named Lenore.
Who found eating brains to be a bore.
She lusted for steak
When she eyeballed Jake
He hightailed it down to the seashore.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 158845 times)
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
I, once, knew a ZOMBIE, from FRANCE,
Who, quite, often, spoke, of ROMANCE;
He had, it, down, RIGHT,
To inflict "THE BITE";
He, first, had, to L'Amour... and DANCE!
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 159,022 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
A WEREWOLF, in the Forest, did LINGER,
Gnawing, upon some poor Bloke's FINGER;
The FULL MOON did FADE,
The Man, said: "I'm DAID!"
"You've, really, put me, through the RINGER!"
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As I sit here this morning.
I hear groaning and yawning.
Zombie's awake
Run for your sake.
Not a test! A real warning.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 159.229 times)
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
I saw, some, ALLIGATOR PEOPLE,
Dining atop, a CHURCH STEEPLE;
They're known, to FLOUT,
Their weird CARRY-OUT;
The Kind, that's proven, to CREEP, ALL!
:o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Another morning so very bleak.
Who will I see first? Zombie or Freak?
It is not very fair
That they lurk so near.
The sign on my house, Monster Boutique.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 159,485 times)
:o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
There was a Fish-Monster, from BRAZIL,
Who became a Fish-Man, with GILLS;
He made a PASS,
At a most, lovely, LASS;
To win Her LOVE, by a Sheer Act, of WILL!
:o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Visiting the Island of Lost Souls.
Please beware of the many *ss holes
With their brains in a twist
They imagine in the mist
That everyone they meet are trolls.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 159725 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES, Of BOSTON, were COOL,
They Did, NOT, Gladly, SUFFER FOOLS,
They'd PARTY, All, NIGHT,
Then, at Dawn, take a BITE;
And, leave, The Remains, for Their GHOULS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Mick.
Who was a bit silly, not real slick.
He once tried his knack.
On a girl's big rack.
Using a single Chinese chopstick.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 159,935 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA had an ITINERARY,
Always, wanted, to visit, TIPPERARY;
Now, I must, CONFIDE,
He met a New BRIDE;
And, Three Guys: CURLY, MOE & LARRY.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I can hear the Zombies as they watch.
Now is the time to kick it up a notch.
We will do more than cuss
If they come after us.
And swing a sledge hammer at his crotch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 160,111 times)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
THE YETIS' Plan, to take, over, The WORLD,
They'll Marry & Mate, with HUMAN GIRLS;
They are Big, and, HAIRY,
& Love Girls, named MARY;
Who can tell Jokes, just, like, MILTON BERLE!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ogre from Belize.
Who tormented people with his sneeze
We put up magic wards
And called forth our hordes
To send back enchantments on the breeze.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 160,277 times)
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
Next month's Beer, I'm told, is, quite, HAIRY,
Some, say it's made, by THE GREEN FAERIE;
'Tis, not, IMPOLITE,
To avoid, it, at NIGHT;
Or, e'en, Daylight: Be, of FEB BREW, WARY!
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a beautiful fairy.
I believe that her name was Mary.
Her wings were pure silk
She only drank milk
And nibbled on things that were dairy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 160,447 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
I Love, All, that, BASIL GOGOS Painted, or, DREW,
'Tis. a MUST, when, ONLY, THE BEST, WILL DO!
In PERSON, Such, a CARD,
He's MONSTERDOM'S BARD;
With a TALENT, Possessed, by an Incredible FEW!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I heard the Zombie talk about brunch.
Deciding on whose brains he should munch.
Maybe it would be Meg's
Scrambled lightly with eggs.
Adding in some cartilage for crunch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 160,537 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt
The First Month, Evaporated, could, Not TARRY,
Used, the last, of Its Thrust, &, also, Its PARRY;
In LIFE'S SWORD-FIGHT,
'Tis, EVERNOW, a DELIGHT;
Observing the Verve, in This Month: FEBRUARY!
tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Brenda.
Who choose her victims with an agenda.
She would pick their pockets
And steal their gold lockets.
To pay for a swanky hacienda.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 160,789 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ 47 Years ~~~~~~~ ededed
__________________________________
'Tis BORIS' Birth, to HEAVEN, TODAY,
I pray, He is, There, EVERNOW, to PLAY;
Gave, Us, Scares & MIRTH,
In His long Life, on EARTH;
Thanks, to Movies, He's, with Us, ALWAYS!
ededed ~~~~~~~ 47 Years ~~~~~~~ ededed
__________________________________
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Miss Laine.
Even for a zombie she was quite inane.
With her thin lips
She'd suck brain tips.
Until her poor victims went insane.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 161,050 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE was Tipsy, INEBRIATED,
His unholy Thirst, however, was SATED;
"My thirst, I did SLAKE!"
Then, He fell, in the LAKE;
When He drowned, His Curse ABATED.
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~ tynhrt ~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Jane.
Who liked to eat her brains in the rain.
When it was foggy
And brains all soggy.
She'd drape them on a weather vane.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 161,323 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
A VAMPIRE Maiden, named, MAUDE,
Would Marry, and, then, commit FRAUD;
'Tis, no, Simple PRANK,
Knocking, over BLOOD BANKS;
Her many Husbands found It, quite, ODD.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Before you crawl back into your hole.
You need to watch the new kitten bowl.
Forget about the mall.
And silly football.
Adopt a kitten and save a soul.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/life-video/video-behind-the-scenes-of-the-kitten-bowl/article28485758/ (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/life-video/video-behind-the-scenes-of-the-kitten-bowl/article28485758/)
I'll be at Puppy Bowl XII .. helping out.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 161,535 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
'Tis ye Birth-Date, again, o' Young ROBERT TAYLOR,
Who wast a SCHOOL-CHUM, o' VLAD, Ye IMPALER;
They'd end DRINKING BOUTS,
With Guffaws and Loud SHOUTS;
Whilst Ghost-Writing Books, for NORMAN MAILER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a crazy old witch.
Who liked to hit kids with a switch.
She aimed at their head.
And laughed as they bled.
We shot her because she's a bitch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 161,675 times)
:-* ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :-*
Too soon, We'll observe CUPID'S DART,
As It pierces Our BELOVED'S HEART;
We're "Over The MOON",
With Heart-shaped BALLOONS;
Which, upon Bursting, release FARTS!
:-* ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jace.
Who loved to wear frilly white lace.
He was very clean
And not very lean.
For he sucked at a very fast pace.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 161,800 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :'(
A TOAD, I, Once, knew, Turned, Into A PRINCE!
He would CROAK, Loudly, as On-Lookers, WINCED;
Then, came His "CHANGE",
Sans, Warts... or, MANGE;
His New Bride, however, remained, UNCONVINCED!
:o ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Burke.
Who with Zombie and Witch he would lurk.
Looking for cheap kills,
Without using his skills.
Hunting with dumb dumbs was such a perk.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 161,899 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named JAKE,
Who committed the Classic Un-Dead MISTAKE;
With insomnia, PLAGUED,
He got, up, {RESTLESS LEG};
The SUN, was A GUN - JAKE'S "SHAKE & BAKE"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a wizard named Bruce.
Whose spells tended to be abstruse.
So often he would try.
To conjure ham on rye.
Getting sandwiches of fried moose.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 161,959 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
To Copy THE MONSTERS, is, to PRETEND,
Shocked, THEY are, that, THEM, We BEFRIEND;
It seems, such, a LARK,
To play, with the DARK;
As, if, THEY were Family, We'd have, to DEFEND!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie so dumb.
Who couldn't shamble and chew gum.
She hated all boys.
And made too much noise.
Crunching brains until she was numb.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 162,102 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank:
PRINCE KHARIS, said: "That, One, will cost YA!"
"To Purchase My Recipe, for TANA LEAF PASTA;
I'd experience Great GLOOM,
Were, You, to add, MUSHROOM;
Or, use the Wrong Herb, and, make, it, 'RASTA'!"
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil spirit named Dyke.
Who liked race Zombies on her bike.
That's not an art
But she's not smart.
And found her evil self in the Klondike.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 162,444 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
RONDO HATTON appeared, as THE CREEPER,
His Strange Career was, rather, a SLEEPER;
Still, with, all, Said & DONE,
He seemed, to have FUN;
His opposite? WALLY COX as MR. PEEPERS!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies went to Niagara Falls.
They decided to roam touristy malls.
There was a cold breeze.
Outside they did freeze.
Winter seized, gifting them frozen balls.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 162,905 times)
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o
DYKE exchanged her Bike, for a CAR,
Small wonder, she didn't get, too, FAR.
That Scary Saint, BORIS KARLOFF,
Said: "You'll Freeze your AZZOFF!"
"You've driven, into a KLONDIKE BAR!"
:o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Mitch.
Who fell hard for the neighborhood bitch.
She wanted some money,
Before she gave honey.
A strange standoff. A bloody odd glitch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 163,073 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
As COUNT DRACULA stood, at the TOP,
Of His Castle's roof, Heard, a "PLOP!";
Devouring, All, FLIES,
RENFIELD Tried, to FLY;
VLAD Said: "That's unwise! Now, STOP!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a poor witch so spellbound.
Who sought her soul in the Lost and Found.
Sorting thru brains
And things inane
Until finding magic, she did rebound.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 163,212 times)
ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN Found, in the Sulphur Pit, ENCRUSTED,
YGOR, Un-Dead, was, Not, Afraid, to be "BUSTED";
Still, Time, to MOVE, ON,
To Herald the New DAWN;
YGOR'S Brain? MONSTER'S Body?! Not, to be TRUSTED!
ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Vampire named Faye.
Who wore slinky outfits all in gray.
But it has to be said.
That today she wore red.
In honor of St. Valentine's Day.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 163,353 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :blank: ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
After sunset, evil holds, full, SWAY,
Allergic I'm Told, to the Light, of DAY;
Yet, even, at NIGHT,
They ain't, too, BRIGHT;
Your Power bests theirs, if, You PRAY!
:blank: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :blank: ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jean.
On whose coffin was placed a lien.
Thus, where she was laid,
The rent was unpaid.
So she had to come up with some green.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 163,475 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
HONEST ABE was billed, as a VAMPIRE SLAYER,
In Reality, of our Country's Law, He was THE SAYER;
He made, more, than a DENT,
As our Sixteenth PRESIDENT;
COUNT DRACULA, though, was, not, a Major PLAYER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Sally.
Who liked to hangout in our alley.
She was very neat.
With brains she would eat.
The bodies she shipped to Death Valley.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 163,559 times)
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
Soon, We'll be Rolling, in CLOVER,
This Month is, more, than half OVER;
THE MONSTERS, All, SING:
"BRING, ON, THE SPRING!"
In MARCH, We'll Duck, For COVER!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Norm.
Who liked to drain the girls in his dorm.
Let it be said,
Norm was well read
Reciting poetry in grand form.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 163,657 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA devised a Humorous RUSE,
HUMAN BEINGS, being, so, easy, to CONFUSE;
When He "CUT LOOSE",
He "Goosed" a MOOSE;
It proved, RENFIELD, to be, patently, OBTUSE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We woke this morning to a Zombie yell.
And hoped that he was on his way to HELL.
Everyone heard him twice
As he slipped on ice.
Shambling as a bell started to knell.
We said good-bye to Nelle Harper Lee.
She wrote about Boo, gifts in the tree.
Without a doubt,
Ms Lee was Scout.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Boo Radley.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 163,835 times)
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
GODZILLA had E-REPTILE DYSFUNCTION,
ON-LINE, He was mistaken, for a MUNCHKIN;
The Effect and The CAUSE,
Was The WIZARD, Of OZ;
Who cast the Bizarre Spell, of REDUCTION!
:o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 163,893 times)
>:( ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ ;D
That Dumb ZOMBIE Stole, then, ATE, My TOMATO,
Then, Ravenously, Devoured My PASTA ALFREDO;
He leapt, from the TREE,
In, an Attempt, to BITE ME;
So, I Bashed, out, His Brains, with My SPADE, OH!
>:( ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Rudd
Who liked to shamble in the mud.
It's not hard have to guess
That he made quite a mess.
He fell to his knees with a thud.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 164,044 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS, Trapped, in a State, of FLUX,
Cinema's Arrival gave, Them, a GRAND REDUX;
That Door is, Still, OPEN,
THE UN-DEAD Are COPIN';
With Population Explosions! "THE GREAT INFLUX"!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~ tynhrt ~ hmjfym ~ tynhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie often acts so very frivol.
Against our home he placed someone's shovel.
He has no mind
We are not blind
And returned the shovel to his own hovel.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 164,200 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
Some MONSTERS are, quite, ADDLE-PATED,
Likewise, VAMPIRES can be CONSTERNATED;
CASTLE DRACULA is, quite, PLUSH,
The Bathroom has "ROYAL FLUSH";
A "Liquid Diet" leaves VLAD, CONSTIPATED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Marty.
Who was always the life of the party.
He would turn into a cat.
And then go and drain a rat.
Laughing as they called him Lardy Farty.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 164,352 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
THE ZOMBIES have Infiltrated Our REALM,
Those Gross, Nasty, UNDEAD, at The HELM;
Why, from This News, ALONE,
I Want, to get CLONED;
Those Brain-Munchers tend, to OVERWHELM!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We saw Zombie rummaging in the trash.
Fishing out an old game of Balderdash.
Looking for brains, he's just lame.
Does he think that stinky game
Was something that he could turn into cash?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 164,490 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
Those Meticulous GHOSTS, Never, SLEEP,
They are, Totally, Absorbed, with UPKEEP;
They'd, rather, HASSLE,
About Cleaning Their CASTLE;
Than, Rattling Chains, when They CREEP!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Last night I had a strange nightmare.
About zombie kids in daycare.
Playing with building blocks
While munching Goldilocks.
Little Red Riding Hood, BEWARE!
There once was a zombie in Bismarck.
Who decided to visit his cousin Lark.
His plan was quite insane
He tried to take a train.
Minot North Dakota to Denmark.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 164,644 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym
Various MUMMIES, abound, in THE MOVIES,
Running, amok, and, feeling, Really, GROOVY;
Their Epithets, HURLED,
All, the Time, in The WORLD;
As I destroy Them, They try, to REPROVE ME!
hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This morning it is so very icy.
Making going out so very dicey.
But one should note
That ghosts can float.
And deliver goods that are quite pricey.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 164,747 times)
u6juu ~~~~~~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~~~~~~ u6juu
DAVID WARNER Played THE RIPPER, named JACK,
Dear BORIS Played A VAMPIRE, THE WURDALAK;
'Tho', Deadly, you SEE,
'Tis Scary, to ME;
That, more, People EXPIRE, from Eating BIG MACS!
u6juu ~~~~~~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~~~~~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The female Zombie on our lawn.
Perhaps she is seeking her spawn.
As cameras roll.
Catching that dumb troll.
Pigging out on brains, yawn, Yawn, YAWN.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 164,830 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
Our FELLOW MONSTER-KID, named DONALD F. GLUT,
Had, Yet, Another BIRTHDAY! SAAAAAAY WHAAAAAAT?!
No Chip, on His SHOULDER,
For being a Year, OLDER;
Not, bad, for a Kid, who went, to School, with KING TUT!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~ hmjfym ~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 164,894 times)
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
CAPTAIN KIRK was, oft, known, to be RECKLESS,
Whilst, some, of His Crew, appeared, FECKLESS;
Fiddling, Women, like, NERO,
He, still, turned, out, The HERO;
I miss him, Now, TV's Wasteland, is, STAR TREK-LESS!
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'( ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Willie.
Who didn't much like weather real chilly.
His engine flooded.
He was hot blooded.
And would dance to Foreigner, so silly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 165,500 times)
8) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ 8)
TODAY gives, Us, another LEAP YEAR,
Let's, all, raise Our Glasses, and, CHEER;
The 29th, of FEBRUARY,
Bids, Us, to make, MERRY;
A Late-Winter TOAST, with Wine, or, BEER!
8) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Stan
Who decided to drink the milkman.
Alas, milk with meat,
Not a kosher treat
So he hunted for a nun named Ann.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 165,131 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
ERIK was The OPERA PHANTOM, full, of STARCH,
His enemies, with Unbearable Heat, he would PARCH;
He fell, for a GIRL,
She destroyed his WORLD;
I wish, that, He'd been played, by FREDERIC MARCH.
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Doris.
She drove around in an old Morris.
Brains in the trunk
With other old junk.
She wished for a new Ford Taurus.
There once was a vampire named Beryl.
Whose lifestyle was really quite feral.
She was so wild
And often riled.
Draining victims on the edge of peril.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 165,357 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
We're running, into the HOME STRETCH, NOW,
So, "Ay, Carumba, Man, don't have a COW!"
Bless the UMA SAGES,
For these 256 PAGES,
Ready, to Celebrate 8 Years, o' LIMERICK LOW-BROW!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~ :o ~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Dean.
Who set out to find a special queen.
Some sips from his flask,
Then the royal task
Of finding someone sexy named Jean.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 165,444 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The BRIDES, of DRACULA are FUN,
They make, most, normal, Men, RUN;
At NIGHT, They ATTACK,
Seeking 1 Thing, They LACK;
BLOOD, to Extract, by Fangs, or, GUN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an old zombie named Moe.
Who asked if he could shovel our snow.
He did not want money,
Only brains with honey.
Go away. Go away, you old SCHMO.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 165,585 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
This Date, Another BIRTHDAY, for BETH,
Heaven-Sent, like, My FINEST BREATH;
6 decades, I WAITED,
Now, I feel, ELATED;
I'm Thanking GOD, for HIS Merciful GIFT!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 165,630 times)
u6juu ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The QUIETUDE can, sometimes, be SCARY,
Awaiting A MONSTER, who's Rotting, or, HAIRY;
Then, once, They ARRIVE,
You Produce Axes & KNIVES;
Chopping THEM, into PARTS, You must BURY!
u6juu ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There is a new zombie so named Jake.
We are waiting for him to awake.
Zombies will cry.
Jake will then die.
So we'll toss his body in the lake.
There once was a vampire named Frump.
Who was buried in a garbage dump.
Under awful smells.
In lovely Seychelles.
His fate is sadly that of a crump.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 165,777 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
This Mad, Olde, World is Falling, APART,
Courtesy, I'm told, of COUNT ALA CARTE;
One Neck, at a TIME,
His Smile, So, SUBLIME;
His "Signature", Produced, as HIGH ART!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Jeannie.
Who was known to be a meanie.
She would steal toys.
From girls and boys.
And then stole our baby's beanie.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 165,855 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
We have, Merely, TEN DAYS, REMAINING,
Then, Green Shamrocks will be REIGNING;
Embarking, on SPRING,
We'll LAUGH and SING;
ST. PATRICK'S DAY Memories, ATTAINING!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Today the zombies went insane.
They started to melt in the rain.
Zombies can't cope
So we have hope.
That they pick up and move to Spain.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 165,957 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
As We, steadily, Ascend, into March, the EIGHTH,
With the Days Rolling, By, We can, hardy, WAIT;
Leprechauns, PRANCING,
Rainbow's GOLD, DANCING;
ST. PATRICK'S DAY awaits, by Yonder Green GATE!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There was a very old man named Glenn.
Who lived in a tiny shack on the fen.
He had the 'sight'
And late at night
Would watch the dances of little green men.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 166,042 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE COVEN was reduced, to, just, THREE,
The MASTER, His QUEEN... and, Li'l, Olde, ME;
To guard, Them, by DAY,
In Gold, They, did PAY;
I STAKED, Them, at Dawn, with Their Riches, I'm FREE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a creature named Jewel.
She was creepy and a real ghoul.
Jewel didn't like boys
And made lots of noise.
Until she sunk in a cesspool.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 166,122 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
Some THEMES, resound, Immortal, PERPETUAL,
I.E., Black Cats & Witches: "PURRR-PET, Y'ALL!";
+, Vampires & CAPES,
Or, Planets & APES;
The MYTHIC, Not, Actual, but, Borders, on FACTUAL!
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jean.
Who picked her victims from the canteen.
No matter what they ate.
They couldn't escape fate.
She lusted their blood for the caffeine.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 166,210 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
Some Actors are, One, in a MILLION,
Take, for example, NATHAN FILLION;
FIREFLY, Or, CASTLE,
He's Cool, No, HASSLE;
For, Him, to turn, up, at a COTILLION!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Mazie,
Who most people thought was kind of crazy.
Then her heart really sank.
When they closed the blood bank.
She was not insane, but only lazy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 166,270 times)
;) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ;)
Our UMA COUNTDOWN begins, Now, with, FIVE,
Our Eighth Year, in which our LIMERICKS, THRIVE;
Four Days, from TOMORROW,
To Assuage, Our SORROW;
ST. PADDY'S DAY Cut-Ups, put, down, your KNIVES!
;) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We wonder, as the clocks jumped ahead.
Is it something all vampires dread?
Less night!
More light!
Lost time for them to roam and be fed.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 166,320 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
Killing His Victim, THE WEREWOLF sought, MORE,
Appeasing His BLOOD-LUST was, hardly, a CHORE;
Whilst the Full Moon doth SHINE,
He'll Rip, out, Your SPINE;
He, sure, seems, to revel, in the BLOOD And GORE!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As the leprechauns gather once more.
Discussing mischief, pranks and some gore.
Shall we be so bold
To hunt for their gold.
Or just allow the Guinness to pour.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 166,459 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
ST. PATRICK'S Day is, Now, Three, Days, AWAY,
Our UMA LIMERICKS have, so, much, to SAY;
We spell, it, out, for FREE,
HAPPY 8th ANNIVERSARY;
If You can LAUGH, That ain't, too, much, to PAY!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Vampire named Arch
Who decided on the Ides of March
That he'd take a jab
Instead of a stab
And impersonate Larry Starch.
Leprechauns gather in the bungalow.
Little ugly green faces, all aglow.
They gather sticks
And plan their tricks.
For there will be much mischief tomorrow.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 166,789 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EVERYTHING is going, according, to PLAN,
Celebrating ST. PAT'S DAY, across UMA LAND;
I can feel the GLOW,
With, just, 1 day, to GO;
Humouring "The Locals", with Little Green MEN!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Count's pallor was a ghastly grey,
He needed a victim to come his way,
Along came Miss Riding hood,
Aha he cried here comes my food,
Before he could strike she hit him with her tray.
Ireland was running short of shamrock,
So the Mayor ordered his butler Brock,
To search high and low for a patch,
As he looked he checked his watch,
It's time to check 10 Cloverfield lane near the old town clock.
Happy St Patrick's day fellow members of the UMA
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 166,870 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
On This 8TH ANNIVERSARY, I, truly, Feel FINE,
As 8 years, of LIMERICKS, Evolves, into NINE;
LEPRECHAUNS, DANCE,
"We are, from FRANCE";
Mass Quantities, of PUNS, explode, in My MIND!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The little green men drove me to drink.
And thus I ended up in the clink.
The Leprechauns sang.
Until things went bang.
Tis foul beer landed me in this precinct.
The Zombie is coming, time to hide.
No one is safe, not even inside.
He has nothing to gain
And wants to eat your brain.
A voodoo curse to be nullified.
There once was a zombie named Mike.
Who we all wished would take a hike.
A creature rude
And prone to feud.
We Fedex'd him to the. Klondike.
There once was a vampire named Jacki.
Who only wore clothing that was khaki.
When asked why,
She would sigh
And reply that she was a bit wacky.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 167353 times)
:angel: ~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :angel:
We had Great Fun, this Weekend, AWAY,
Although, in Travel-Time, we had, to PAY;
We went, to HORRORHOUND,
&, Robert Taylor was PROFOUND;
Come, Monday, we'll begin a NEW DAY!
:angel: ~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Kim.
Who was in love with a zombie named Jim.
On what should they dine?
Blood or brains in brine?
The chances of a romance were slim.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 167,444 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
VAMPIRES perpetuate, evil, with BITES,
Draining LIFE, via Their Usual FRIGHTS;
Entombed, before DAWN,
These Vile, SATAN-SPAWN;
Dream, of Provocative, Sanguine, NIGHTS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Today promises to be scary.
I've just seen the vampire, Mary.
She goes up to lugs.
And gives them tight hugs.
Draining blood as if it was dairy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 167,547 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
Post-Sundown, COUNT DRACULA made His ARRIVAL,
Cautiously, aware, of His great need, for SURVIVAL;
In WEREWOLF FORM,
He summoned The STORM;
Once, He saw the Woman, He became, quite, CONVIVIAL.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A female zombie attempts to cause us pain.
Tis a pity she hasn't much of a brain.
Banging on piano keys,
Won't bring us to our knees.
We'll box her up and send her to Spain.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 167,644 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
I know, that, there's, so, much, in STORE,
The Moon Waxes, I Need, to Shave, MORE;
I remember That NIGHT,
When I received My BITE;
'Neath The Full Moon, I shan't be a BORE!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a monster named Morgan.
Who in truth was an ugly Gorgon.
Such an horrid sight.
She would come at night.
And ask that we donate an organ.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 167,755 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Crypt's SIGN Said: "Sh-h-h! DO, NOT, DISTURB!
OR, ELSE, a SLEEPING VAMPIRE, You will, PERTURB;
Stupid Noises, for a LARK,
Invite Pay-Back, after DARK;
The Manner, of Your Disappearance, will be SUPERB!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire from Norge.
Who decided to move to Pigeon Forge.
Women with huge breasts.
Passed all his tests.
And on their fine blood he could now gorge.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 167,837 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE KING had hit a real NERVE,
"We must press, on, with Vigour and VERVE;
In 'Un-Dead' UNDER-PINNINGS,
THE ZOMBIES are WINNING;
To Copy Their 'Formula', We must OBSERVE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Beal.
Who was always looking for her next meal.
Alas, all was not well.
In the place that she did dwell.
And no one wanted to hear her strange spiel.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 167,909 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
That Spring, all, the Flowers were BLOOMING,
By the Pond, stood, a young Girl, ASSUMING;
That, the Strange Man, She MET,
Would, never, ever, FORGET;
How, The Flower Toss, could end, up, DOOMING!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy named Sonny.
Who dressed up as the Easter Bunny.
Yes he could hop
But he did flop.
As bunnies aren't wrapped in gunny.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 168,011 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
We Celebrate JESUS, on EASTER DAY,
For Keeping, attacks, by evil, at BAY;
Greatest Thing, ever, DONE,
Thanks, to GOD'S SON;
Believe, in HIS Power, come-what-MAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There are monsters in this morning mist.
I believe that they are going to have a tryst.
We don't mean to pry
And nor will we try.
Watching them is not on our bucket list.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 168,186 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS were throwing a PARTY,
And Performing Their Roles, Very, ARTY;
COUNT VLAD was a SMASH,
Sang "THE MONSTER MASH";
Then, Bit the Microphone, Such, a SMARTY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We heard a noise and were down in a flash.
A Zombie was picking through our trash.
There aren't any hearts.
Or other body parts.
And wonder why zombies are so brash.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 168,325 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
I knew a VAMPIRE Woman, named KATE,
Who delivered a Most, HORRIBLE, FATE;
She drained ELMER FUDD,
When He ran, out, of BLOOD;
For a Souvenir, Ripped, Off, His PATE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Our local monsters went into battle.
Once again, over some sort of prattle.
Another major fight.
An imagined slight.
The beasties ranting and will now tattle.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 168,444 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
MARCH is, almost, "Officially", GONE,
Two days, until the Birthday, of LON;
I've been a Million PLACES,
With My Thousand FACES;
His Star is, Not, Something, I'd PAWN!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies broke down our front door.
They did not know what was in store.
Ready were our cats.
As were giant rats.
Zombies won't bother us no more.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 168,540 times)
Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
I'm, Mad, as a Proverbial MARCH HARE,
On this final day, I, just, have, to SWEAR;
What, could be WORSE?!
Don't say: "APRIL, FIRST!"
Else, I'll send GHOULS, not, Fools! A PAIR!
Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Kelley.
Who had a really big fat belly.
We drove in a stake
And much like a lake.
With Blood flowing like dark red jelly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 168,639 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
A BIRTHDAY Observation, on this APRIL, The FIRST,
To Our Favourite LON, as THE WOLF MAN, ACCURSED;
You were, Never, "in a RUT",
Portraying LARRY TALBOT;
As WEREWOLVES, go, You're The BEST, not, the WORST!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie caught, looking into our house.
We wonder who he decided to rouse.
His death no one will weep.
For he was a big creep.
Farewell to him and his ugly spouse.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 168,733 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
FRANKENSTEIN arrived, in a CRATE,
DRACULA awake, was, nearby, to WAIT;
Into the THICK,
Stumble WILBUR & CHIC;
THE WOLF MAN would seal Their FATE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Tommy.
Who decided to join the French army.
No matter the rank.
All their blood stank.
For they ate stinky cheese and were swarmy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 168,833 times)
:'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
This WINTER'S, still, Creeping, AROUND,
I Thought, that, by, Now, HE'D Left TOWN,
'Tho', HE'S "OVER THE HILL",
HE, Still, Exerts a CHILL;
Several Weeks, until SPRING, ABOUNDS!
:'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I woke up this morning and saw all the snow.
Where was the grass that was starting to grow?
The robins are crying.
For seeds I'm supplying.
Did the Zombies steal Spring? I want to know.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 168,950 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The BRIDES, Of DRACULA, were awaiting His ARRIVAL,
For Food, from His nightly Hunt, to ensure Their SURVIVAL;
Then, the Castle walls, RANG,
As The Children's voices, SANG;
The Hymns', of GOD'S Praises, learned, from THE BIBLE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Pearl.
Who had married a wealthy old Earl.
The butler and cook,
They drained by the book.
Before giving the gardener a whirl.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 169,085 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE ZOMBIES Invaded LOCH NESS,
To search, for NESSIE, I'd GUESS;
As "MONSTER FODDER",
They'd, JUMP, in the WATER;
In Hopes, of Her BRAIN, to POSSESS!
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie is an inconsiderate bloke.
Blasting rap very loud until we woke.
They called the cops
To bust his chops.
Who whacked his head, out dripped egg yolk.
There once was a vampire named Donny..
Who was dating my fair cousin Ronny.
Thus they would both run
To stay out of the sun.
Giggling that tanning was for the scrawny.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 169,444 times)
;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
YESTERDAY was, lost, to a COMPUTER FRITZ,
I'm Back, and, I'm quick, using My HALF-WITS;
MONSTERS Grumble & SPEW,
My Fresh LIMERICK STEW;
'Cos it's a Sin, produces Bad Skin, i.e., ZITS!
;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Ricky.
Who really enjoyed a bloody quickie.
Alas, if he would fail
His victims would just pale.
And would end up with a silly hickey.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 169,870 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMIES gathered, to practice Their CURSE,
They felt, after Millennia, the need, to REHEARSE;
But, They could, not, AGREE,
Whether, One, Word, or, THREE;
Was needed, to Finalize, IT, for Better, or, WORSE!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Margaret the odd Witch has returned.
We wonder if we should be concerned.
She will give us flack.
We want our lights back.
Don't lend things to witches, you will get burned.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 170,250 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES, most, notably, wear CAPES,
Prosthetic Muzzles, for PLANETS, OF APES;
MUMMIES wrap, in GAUZE,
WEREWOLVES have Fanged MAWS;
'Tis, Known, that, FRANKENSTEIN, TRAIPSES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Dracula & Wolf Man were seen
Enjoying their favorite cuisine.
The Wolf Man will munch
Most anyone for lunch,
But Dracula prefers nec(k)tarines.
There once was a vampire named Stan.
Who wanted to be a garbage man.
He looked at all the trucks.
Daylight pick ups. AW SHUCKS!
And had to come up with a new plan.
Maxfield Harrington Post
Sat down to devour some toast.
He couldn't taste it, you see
For it happens to be
That poor Maxfield H. Post is a ghost.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 170,420 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
I'm, not, a Big Fan, of, too, much, GORE,
Script can be, slick, not, Blood, on the FLOOR;
The Plot, GUESSABLE,
Means We're GULLIBLE
INTEGRITY, Lost, is, oft, Hard, to RESTORE!
:angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Another day of freezing rain.
Will foul creatures now cause us pain?
I wish for some sun,
But will take a gun.
To drive them all away again,
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 170,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA RAN... for His LIFE,
As Van HELSING wielded a SILVER KNIFE;
He Lunged, for DRAC'S HEART,
TO CUT, HIM, APART!;
He MISSED, Hitting His TARGET'S WIFE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jonah.
Who offered his victims many krona.
If they passed his tests
And showed him their breasts.
But only if it gave him a bona.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 170,690 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA'S Daughter tried, to be Human & WARM,
Yet, She remained, Trapped, "outside, of The NORM";
She tried 'Straight & NARROW',
'Til Pierced, by Sandor's ARROW;
He got, to the Heart, of HER frail, Human, FORM.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Murray.
Who longed to eat a spicy hot curry.
He decided to stop
At the next curry shop.
But that was all the way out in Surrey.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 170,820 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ Zombie Blush
THE ZOMBIES held a "MEAL", for, Us, HUMANS,
We were the NEXT FEAST, They were GROOMIN';
Their Food made, Us, SICK,
The Meat, was, Oddly, 'SLICK';
So, We BARFED, on Our Hosts, and, went ZOOMIN'!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie from Kent.
Who gave up all red meat for lent.
But brains did not count.
That he won't discount.
And on this point he won't relent.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 170,959 times)
>:( ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ >:(
QUASIMODO had Every, Good, Reason, to KICK,
Claude Dom Frollo, possessed, by The Old NICK;
For the evil, He'd DONE,
A Swift Kick, in the BUNS;
Launched, Him, off, of Notre Dame, Really, QUICK!
>:( ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Christine.
Who didn't like ghosts, thought they were mean.
She'd whine and pounce
And then would flounce.
Befitting a zombie Drama Queen.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 171,127 times)
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D
AGAIN, with the ONSLAUGHT, of MONSTERS,
Portrayed, by BELA, BORIS, or, THE LONSTER;
We try, to have FUN,
Connecting a PUN;
Shoot, From The HIP, as Limerick GANGSTERS!
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Mike.
We all wished he would take a hike.
His actions are sick
And he is a dick.
So sad that his brain is on strike.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 171,270 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA had gone, to the RACES,
In Search, of Some, Lovely, Young, FACES;
He Discovered a GIRL,
Gorgeous Eyes, Lips & CURLS;
'Til She Smiled... &, really, needed BRACES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Chip.
She wore her hair in a MTM flip.
Not like Mary,
Chip was scary
Thus, over her sweet curls, blood would drip.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 171,400 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
VLAD DRACUL, TRANSYLVANIA'S TOP COMMANDER,
When ENEMIES, of His Land, raised His Ire & DANDER;
He obtained His REVENGE,
Over, and, Over, AGAIN;
As, to His DARK SIDE, He was, oft, Wont, to PANDER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Dracula was splitting hairs.
Nosing into others affairs.
His foul heart sank
At the blood bank.
He wasn't one of the named heirs.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 171,550 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S Love-Life was MIRED,
In the INERTIA, of FAME, He'd ACQUIRED;
"No one, Loves, Me, for 'ME',
My 'Legend' is, Who, I 'MUST BE';
This Phony Façade, makes, Me, very, TIRED."
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Today we say good bye to Doris.
She goes to join my uncle Morris.
There was nothing shady
About this funny lady.
Saying Rest in Peace, join the chorus.
R.I.P. Doris Roberts .. your timing was always perfect.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 171,688 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o
THE BLOB rolled, into Town, MAD, as a HATTER,
Hit the Doughnut Shop; slurped, up, the BATTER;
The Customers SCREAMED!
He Ate, Them, with ICE CREAM;
Polishing, off, His 'Snack', He, Left, MUCH, FATTER!
:o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Hope.
She was quite sexy and not a dope.
Blessed with natural poise.
Hope would entice the boys.
And allow them to have a sweet grope.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 171,831 times)
:) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
MR. HYDE Pushed, aside, the MEDICAL TRAY,
His Intent, quickly, to Exit, and, be, on His WAY;
His manner, UNKIND,
Coarse & UNREFINED;
Hunger drove, him, on, to BEAT BOBBY FLAY!
:) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a large monster named Brock.
Who would hide behind a craggy rock.
Brock was a big lump,
He quickly did jump
Causing his victims to die of shock.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 171,959 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
I, once, knew an Awful, Olde, TROLL,
Capable, of spewing Outlandish BULL;
He played, "The HALF-WIT",
Who was, Full, of S**T;
Yet, despite, Many, Hobbies, was DULL!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Grim Reaper has been taking his toll.
Thus we wonder what is his final goal?
Please stay away.
And on this day.
Only take away Zombies and a troll.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 172,132 times)
:-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
THE GRIM REAPER went, "On HOLIDAY",
Into the World, of Mortals, He did FORAY;
He found Him "Some BABES",
Took them, to their GRAVES;
Back, at Work, it looks, more, like, PLAY!
:-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This evening at the Zombie brain roast.
We searched for our mysterious host.
Fresh brains on the grill.
Didn't give us a thrill.
So we decided just to eat the toast.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 172,222 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o
QUASIMODO went, Deaf, Ringing The BELLS,
He Fired Cannon, in Overture, EIGHTEEN-TWELVE;
The Yelling, of CROWDS,
Could, also, be, LOUD;
Plus, He played Drums, for THE KEEBLER ELVES!
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There was a rumble up on the shelves.
Looking up, we saw a bunch of elves.
They seemed so proud
Of being so loud.
We asked that they whisper among themselves..
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 172,500 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
In Daylight, VAMPIRES are, quite, BRITTLE,
Easier, for Us, Their STTAKES, to WHITTLE;
Less, DRAMA, than, NIGHT,
To Stake Them, in DAYLIGHT;
Any Jury would Agree, with Our ACQUITTAL!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil Troll named Dave.
Who had a black soul, no one could save
He was a total loss.
And didn't give a toss.
His evil soul continued to rave.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 172,777 times)
C:) ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
THE MUMMIES Enchant, using MYSTIC POOLS,
Turning Human Victims, into UGLY GHOULS;
Make use, of a GUN,
ZOMBIES, on the RUN;
With Scant Brain-Power, They are, merely, FOOLS!
C:) ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Dora.
Who along with her daughter Nora.
They were not berserk
But had a strange quirk
Only hunting women called Laura.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 172,888 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
In TRANSYLVANIA, VAMPIRES are The INDIGENOUS,
For We know, that, They tend, to be Very METICULOUS;
It goes, against Their GRAIN,
To leave Gory BLOOD-STAINS;
Some Movies suggest It, but, They say: "RIDICULOUS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Old witch lived high up in a tower.
She was evil with magic power.
There are no parallels
For her powerful spells
Until the day they all went sour.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 172,992 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :o
The HUNCHBACK Auditioned, to Portray SGT. PEPPER,
The Management said: "NO!!", like, He was a LEPER;
The Call-Backs, were CLEAR,
He Smiled, from Ear, to EAR;
That HOLLYWOOD Feller - Name, of JOHNNY DEPPER!
:o ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As we all know, Zombies are such scum.
We don't have to keep beating that drum.
He is such a clown
Will be taken down
Brains not included, is how Zombies come.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 173,211 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
We know, THOR, was The God, of THUNDER,
Who, was, seldom, blamed, for a BLUNDER;
That, was LOKI'S DOMAIN,
But, He was, Crazy, INSANE;
Moved, To Australia, The Land, DOWN-UNDER!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Brook.
Who never played by the book.
She stole from the blood bank
Alas, her coffin stank.
For she tried to drain a snook
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 173,393 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
At this Stark News, COUNT DRACULA, FROWNED,
Rumoured, It was, of His BRIDE, "Running, AROUND";
"Yet, I smell a SKUNK!"
"Am I being PUNKED?!"
He, then, Strangled RENFIELD, for Being A CLOWN!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Frank.
I think he was a limey or Yank.
He drank only bloody rum.
Was an evil as they come.
Until he was killed by a freaky plank.
There once was a vampire named Bud.
Who parked his coffin in the mud.
He lived with Gert
Who liked the dirt.
And together they hunted up blood.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 173,620 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE Inquired: "Is This BLOOD, FRESH?"
His WEREWOLF Slave, Replied: " Yes, I GUESS."
Their Reign, of TERROR,
Upon The MAID, FAIRER;
Failed, to Inflict, upon HER, Any MAJOR STRESS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Sonny
Who would kill for the love of money.
He would follow the trend.
On fresh blood he would spend.
Which was sort of very sad and funny.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 173,825 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
As WALPURGISNACHT Reached Its ECLIPSE,
Partying, Heartily, RENFIELD Yelled: "PIP! PIP!"
But, Then, DRACULA'S MOTHER,
With Her Wings, All, A-FLUTTER;
Felt, the Time, Was RIPE, to "LET ONE RIP"!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
So, nothing goes off without a hitch.
Zombie was not buried in a ditch.
We shipped him to Boston.
He ended up in Austin.
Now we need to get rid of that witch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 173,909 times)
:) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ;)
DR.JEKYLL, now, forced, to Try, His Formula, FRIED,
In case, MR. HYDE, about Its Chemistry, had LIED.
To this Classic DO-OVER,
He added, fresh CLOVER;
&, A Flavorful Dose, of CARBON TETRA CHLORIDE!
:) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We buried the witch under clover.
Then invited the Zombie over.
To show him what spring.
Might yet to him bring.
Unless the brainless moved to Dover.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 174,055 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
ERIK, Madly, In LOVE, yet, BROKEN-HEARTED,
As, He and CHRISTINE, had, Sadly, just, PARTED;
Healed, by Her LOVE,
Yearning, for Heaven, ABOVE;
He would, Now, FINISH, What, She, had STARTED!
:-* ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Wyatt.
Who was quite unhappy with his diet.
The brains he was scoring
Were bland, tasteless, boing.
So he stole Mensa brains on the quiet.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 174,212 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
I, once, knew a MONSTER, named DOUG,
Who looked, just, like, a GIANT SLUG;
Loved CHOCOLATE MALT,
Bad Intolerance, to SALT;
Most Girls, He approached, just, said: "UGH"!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We noticed the old troll named Craig
Was suffering from the black plague.
So we asked wise Moe
Where should he now go.
Thus we shipped Craig to the Hague
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 174,350 times)
:-[ ~~~~~~~ :-X ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;)
THE MUMMY turned, 'round, He was STARTLED,
Been Drinking, again... JAMES And BARTLED;
"No, not, TANA LEAF TEA;
'Cos, it makes, Me, PEE!"
"With ALCOHOL, tho', I think, I, just, FARTLED!
:-[ ~~~~~~~ :-X ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We decided to seek help from our Mummy.
Who we knew to be a major rummy.
He was offered much drink,
If Zombie he would sink.
Now they are no longer faintly chummy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 174,464 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
QUASIMODO Sang, in The CHOIR,
'Twas, akin, to a "House, on FIRE";
In Olde NOTRE DAME,
He was, "The BOMB";
Explosive, if, You Invoked HIS IRE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Alas, the foul Zombie made a mistake.
Soon he'll encounter well deserved heartbreak.
As the walls come down
He'll leave this town
As the sun shines with happiness in his wake.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 174,595 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
I Remember, ZELDA, an Ornery, Olde, WITCH,
Who lived, with a WEREWOLF, named, MITCH;
He Loved The Olde HAG,
To, all, He would BRAG;
Of Their Love, being, Free, of, Trial, or, GLITCH!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a strange troll named Jerome.
Who befriended a lonely old gnome.
They made an odd couple
Neither was very supple.
But who cared what they did in their home?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 174,714 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
His Nocturnal "Adventures", INCREASED,
We thought, He'd been, Killed, &, CEASED;
Whether, in Brain, or, GULLET,
Seems, that, No, SILVER BULLET;
Can keep TALBOT, Down, or, DECEASED!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil ghost named Mack.
Who saw us and started to attack.
We did not scare
Or raise our hair
But started howling, as counter attack
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 174,870 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
The PERSON, in Question, was, BRASH,
He appeared, in, quite, a Literal "FLASH";
He didn't Yell: "BOO!"
'Cos, He's DOCTOR WHO;
Altho', His TARDIS is, Known, to CRASH!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Beck.
Who asked us to sign a blank check.
Did he want to buy brains?
Or was he just insane?
We told him to leave with his dreck.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 174,950 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S Bride wore a SNOOD,
VLAD'S objection was, oft, rather, "CRUDE";
"I say, What, The HECK,
Your hair's, off, Your NECK;
I can grab a Bite, when, I'm, In The MOOD!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Today is National Limerick Day.
Vampires, Zombies and ghosts come to play.
Their words will rhyme,
Most of the time
But they really haven't much good to say.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 175,115 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
I, Distinctly, Remember, Olde NEBUCHANEZZAR,
WHO, finding my hat, said: "Dropped YOUR FEZ, SIR";
My Thanks were EFFUSIVE,
And, My Tactics, ELUSIVE;
I Rejoined: "For, All, Your Trouble, have a PEZ, SIR!"
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an odd zombie named Brad.
Who was angry as well as quite mad.
We would hear his loud roar,
He would even the score.
Brad was real crazy and no one's Dad.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 175,345 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
One, Very, Odd, TRAIT, of VAMPIRE WOMEN
Is Their Insatiable CRAVING, for PERSIMMON;
Picked, up, from the MUD,
They pair, Well, with BLOOD;
But, must consume it an Hour, before SWIMMIN'!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Someone left the Mummy out in the rain.
Where he saw Evil Zombie, so insane.
Mummy gave a yell!
Evil go to HELL!
I want you out of town on the next plane.
In this early morning fog and chill.
The zombies scramble up a steep hill.
They are unaware.
Death awaits there.
All the trolls are now poised to kill.
I'm really starting to miss the Baron.
Without his wit, this thread is so barren.
I hope his computer works.
And is finished with quirks.
Now, let us talk about ghostly Karen.
We were missing our favorite ratfink
Perhaps he was hiding under the sink.
He was not to be found.
Or made a single sound.
We think that he eloped with a sly mink.
There once was a vampire in France.
Who liked to do prance a hula dance.
The stiff grass skirt.
Really did hurt.
So she swayed in a bloody trance.
It is scary being here all alone.
All I see are zombies and an old crone.
I should give out a yelp.
And run fast for some help.
Or just hope that someone sends out a drone?
There once was a zombie named Sweet Rosy.
Who was crazy and more than a bit nosey.
She stuck her long thin nose.
Into our water hose.
That is not the way to sprinkle our posey.
As we hear the Zombies rant and yell.
We wish that some magic will make it quell.
They are so numb.
Without brains, DUMB.
Just wish that they would return to HELL.
Have no fear my dear,
I've just came so near,
So you're not alone,
I just created a clone,
To help you out that's clear.
My avatar let's me count to three,
I find it hard for some to agree,
Yes I've four fingers to a hand,
And that worries me that's grand,
As poseable thumb's go I'll see.
There once was a vampire named Chester,
Who sadly looked like uncle Fester.
It seemed that girls,
Preferred some curls
And Fester looked like a court jester.
We all know I'm slightly bammy,
As I've been known for a double whammy,
If my puns don't hit the mark,
I'll wait until it get's dark,
Then club them with my stolen Grammy.
In my library there is mystery at hand,
Many a volume are held with a band,
Yet my greatest treasure,
Is reading for pleasure,
As there's no beating that feeling it's grand.
It is hard for me to confide,
Being a vicious Mr Hyde,
Does not bring out my very best,
So the women I keep close to my chest,
Just to show that I have a softer side
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 176429 times)
8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-*
....... "HEY, MAN, DON'T HAVE A COW!"
I Haven't Been, Back, Until, NOW!!!
Nine, Long, Days, AWAY,
I'm Feeling, Quite, FAZED;
I'd Write A Limerick, But, I Forgot, HOW!
8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Aha the curse of the nine,
The Baron has returned that's fine,
There's not much to keep us back,
As we are all a bit of a hack,
So it's onwards and upwards in rhyme.
We are HAPPY! The boys are back in town!
Now there are no reasons to pout or frown.
So, Zombies beware.
Vampires take care.
For limericks are starting to come around.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 176,550 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;D
I've an olde Relative, a very, Fierce, WERE-TIGER,
Who Doubled, on Film, for the Actor, BRAD STEIGER;
'Tho', His Greatest FEAT,
Amid Summer's HEAT;
Was eating Bread, with a Slice, o' BRAUNSCHWEIGER!
;D ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Baron needs to spare the Rod,
As he got his Steiger's mixed that's odd,
Brad wrote horror books,
While Rod had the looks,
So there's something fishy and it aint cod.
The Zombie has over stepped his bounds
Desecrating our holy sacred grounds
Brains he was frying.
People were crying.
So to Hell we go and set out the hounds.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 176,655 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE COUNT and His BRIDE danced a PAS DE DEUX,
Just, prior, to DAWN, something, They'd, Soon, RUE;
They were, so, carried, AWAY,
They got caught, by The DAY;
Identification, from the ashes, was, hard, to CONSTRUE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire from old Greece.
Who wanted nothing more than some peace..
He waved the white flag.
At a crazy old hag.
She gave him a hug, wonders never cease.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 176,999 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
They Dreamed, of a LIFE, NEVER-ENDING,
With Powers, Enchanting and MIND-BENDING;
Turning, into BATS,
That's Where It's AT;
Dream, Over, via Stake, so, HEART-RENDING!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We woke this morning and heard the old witch.
A nasty one, an evil cranky bitch.
She started to howl.
Her spells so fowl.
So we tossed her ugliness into the ditch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 177,277 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, His unholy craft, PLIED,
Creating a MADMAN, to serve, as a SPY;
Then, RENFIELD was SENT,
To MINA { No, ACCIDENT};
Yet, for Flubbing His Mission, He DIED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This morning as I worked in my garden.
The witch called Paino, seeked pardon.
What evil she had done.
There will never be none.
Perhaps she thinks that she is Eve Arden?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 177,433 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY Demanded, to be THE BOSS,
He hit THE VAMPIRE, with a Golden CROSS;
"I'm much, Older, than YOU,
With Greater MAGIC, TOO!"
A Spell, turned THE BAT, into an ALBATROSS!
hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There are too many zombies in this hood.
We would kill them all if we only could.
The evil dead.
Are things to dread.
Please beware, as they are up to no good.
I had a nice night on the town,
Bottles broken and still I was down,
With London so foggy,
I had got quite groggy,
And let the two policemen drown.
Being Jekyll is no fun,
So as Hyde I like to run,
As my eyesight is so bad,
I ran straight into a wee lad,
Making him shoot up like a fired gun.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 177,537 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD slid, down, the Carfax BANISTER,
Clutching, onto, Something, quite, SINISTER;
DRACULA'S ASHES!
Yep! The DNA MATCHES;
Were, conveniently, Stored, in His CANISTER!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Mummies, witches, zombies and thunder storms.
All are lurking around our buddy norm's.
He's out on a limb.
We need to save him.
But, we need to fill out these freakin' forms.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 177,687 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, MILT,
Who was, proud, of His legs, when, in KILTS;
His victims, when, CAUGHT,
He would tie, up, in KNOTS;
'Til one's sword pierced His Heart, to the HILT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie accosted a boy on our walk.
Now the police need to have a good talk.
It was just a boy
Not an evil ploy.
We are entitled to holler and squawk.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 177,777 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
'Twas, upon that, Dark and Stormy, NIGHT,
COUNT DRACULA Approached, to BITE;
As Fair Maiden, turned, AROUND,
VLAD DRACUL fell, without a SOUND;
MEDUSA 'Stoned', Him, such, a Sad PLIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Rockshasa had a Bigfoot encounter,
While on his bike in the roads center,
He heard a few whoops,
That made him jump hoops,
So into the woods he now won't enter.
There once was a zombie named Monkey.
Who was looking black and very chunky.
Zombie insane.
Raced down the lane.
Dropping stray brains and other junky.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 178,025 times)
:'( ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ :'(
THE CYCLOPS had plucked, out, His EYE,
For He could stand, no, more, that's, WHY!
"Why should I SEE,
POLITICS, on TV?"
"It's, so, Futile, it makes, Me, want, to CRY!"
:'( ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie called Evil Brooke.
Far and wide she was known as a big crook.
Foul brains she would steal.
And sell them as veal.
She would then claim that she was a great cook.
Mummy was really really pissed.
To find that he was on the blacklist.
Zombie was on there
But he did not care.
His name was erased, he did insist.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 178,333 times)
Zombie Grin ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~~~ Zombie Grin
ZOMBIES, Today, never, do, as They're TOLD,
Unlike, those Obedient ZOMBIES, of OLDE;
They'd have been "Given The SACK",
If, upon FLESH, They did SNACK;
Back, Then, that, was, just, how They ROLLED!
Zombie Grin ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~~~ Zombie Grin
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Witch came from Illinois.
More evil spells and much more noise.
We heard her cough
And chased her off
She flew away, with her toys.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 178,428 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
IM-HOTEP'S Behaviour was, Quite, DEPLORABLE,
To try & Mummify Helen Grosvenor, so, ADORABLE;
His Vile Plan, We DETEST,
It worked, out, for the BEST;
Lost, His Bid; Again, became MUMMY CONFORMABLE!
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Paige.
Who was trapping Zombies in a cage.
She was very strong
But their blood was wrong.
So she sold tickets to see them rage.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 178,575 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA was feeling, quite, GRAND,
His powers, appeared, to be, in, high, DEMAND;
"As My plan, UNFURLS,
I'll take, over, the WORLD;
Too, soon, Halted, by a Stake's COUNTERMAND!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies came out in the rain.
Wanting to hurt, cause us much pain.
So we cut them down
Chased them out of town
And all their terror was in vain.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 178,717 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
DR. FRANKENSTEIN had, His "Process", PERFECTED,
Yet, there was One Loophole, which He'd NEGLECTED;
He was, Forced, to CONFIDE,
That, The Monster's "BRIDE";
Was, as a Matter, Of Fact, AC and DC CONNECTED!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Last night, Zombie was outside banging.
And Dracula was out and fanging.
Being such bad boys
They made lots of noise.
Now in effigy they are hanging.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 178,871 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
The Night, fell, quickly, at LAST,
The VAMPIRES waiting, to BASH;
Throwing a PARTY,
Hale and HEARTY;
Until, sadly, They ran, out, of CASH!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Now Mr Hyde please don't have a fit,
We are only interested in your true grit,
So just stand very still,
While we use this here quill,
To mark a spot on your new model kit.
The most ugly zombie is female.
She looks like she ate too much peameal.
She is far from snugly,
Put the U in ugly,
Should be buried in a garbage pail.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 179,030 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE is a CREATURE, of PLAGUE,
In Fear, of His Curse, the People, oft, BEG:
"If You'll spare My LIFE,
You can Bite My WIFE!"
'Tis a Deal, upon which They'll, Not, RENEGE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The poor zombie is always thought of as a fool.
Never once is he given his due with a tool,
Off he stumbles,
While he mumbles,
Even though he loves brains as much as a ghoul.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 179,159 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD Wandered, into DRAC'S CRYPT,
Desiring VLAD'S BRIDE, His neck, to NIP!
Nearly, got His WISH,
Such, a Gorgeous DISH!
But, Tossed, Out, by DRAC'S Iron GRIP!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 179,325 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a GHOST, Who BOOED!
Folks thought, that, Him, MISCONSTRUED;
But, as He, never, ATE,
Would, Not, REHABILITATE;
Without FOOD, This DUDE'S MOOD Was CRUDE!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 179,535 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
I, once, knew a ZOMBIE, named, NATE,
Who traveled, via Railroad, as FREIGHT;
In every City, He'd STOP,
He'd, oft, 'Pop', a TOP;
Then, Enjoy, each, BRAIN, that, He ATE!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A Zombie or an evil witch, cast a spell.
The results on which I shall not now dwell.
A broken computer cord.
Kept me off the board.
I am back, soon all shall be very swell.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 179,687 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o
Why, it must have been, Something, I ATE,
A bad choice, yet, I do, not, believe, in FATE;
This, too, shall, PASS,
Amid Clouds, of GAS;
Leave, me, now, as the Sound, will be GREAT!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil one crone.
Who thought she could get me alone.
I did not fill the bill.
I'm not easy to kill.
Now she is nothing but old bone.
Zombie thought because he was so tall.
That he could kill Dracula in a brawl.
Drac showed him some fang.
And Zombie's bell rang.
As he went to his death with a catcall..
There once was a foul creature named Mike.
Who would scream talk about his bike.
The witch next door
Found him a bore.
And casted him to the turnpike.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 179,830 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY, really, wanted, to SHOCK,
Egyptologists, too, free, with Their TALK;
He had wanted, Them, DEAD,
Mummified, Them, INSTEAD;
Stashed, in Sarcophagi, heavily, LOCKED!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie named Moss
Who decided he was the Boss.
He climbed up the tower
And shut all the power.
What to do next? That was a loss.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 179,990 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Razz
See The ALIEN MONSTER, a HEAD, by a NOSE,
Beneath it, a MOUTH, of FANGS, in Sharp ROWS;
I call, Him: 'GARY',
Looks, like, Cousin LARRY;
A Weird Genius, Sprouts Wings & spouts PROSE!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 180,000 times)
:) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-*
I, really, don't mean, to "Become a BORE",
There's a Reason, tonight, to post One MORE,
We're, just, about, to PIN,
A Bunch, of Zeroes, AGAIN;
"180,000 READS", From LIMERICKS, GALORE!
:) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie ruined some Obedient Plants.
I guess that he was on yet more of his rants.
He is very mean.
And should drink benzene
While red ants race up his foul underpants.
Come on honey we must flee,
It's nearly half past three,
We have to leave now,
And I don't know how,
Why she cried because I'm Christopher Lee.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 180,150 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed
There were Things, which, THE MONSTER did DREAD,
Such, as FIRE, or, the BOLTS, that, held, on, His HEAD;
"My Doc told Me: 'Hey, DUDE,
If You lose 'em, You're SCREWED!'"
"So, I Tighten, Them, Up, BEFORE, I climb, out, of BED!"
ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Monster, the Zombie and the Witch.
Got together but there was a hitch.
They were all cross.
No one was boss.
So Mummy and Drac fixed the glitch..
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 180,333 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF attacked, with His CLAWS,
Ready, to Grab His Prey, Tight, with His JAWS,
Unable, to harm, HER,
She wore Body ARMOR;
Just, one, more, example, of Life's Little FLAWS!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We watched as the crazed witches dance.
I was enough to put us off romance.
With legs so hairy,
It was quite scary.
Perhaps they will spell themselves to France?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 180,490 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :o
THE CREATURE strode, out, of The LAGOON,
Thankfully, NOT, One, MOMENT, Too, SOON;
The Strike, of LIGHTNING,
Powerful and FRIGHTENING;
FRIED, ALL, of The FISH, +, 1 Unlucky LOON!
:o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Mandy.
Who drank human blood like fine brandy.
One day she was so drunk
And went after a skunk.
But the blood didn't taste very dandy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 180,630 times)
;) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;)
DRACULA attacked that SPRITE, called, PUCK,
For, His 'Blood Supply', was, in a state, of FLUX;
Mischievous and CRASS,
He made DRAC's Head, an ASS;
Then, turned His Body, into, that, of a DUCK!
;) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy named Roy.
Who dated my sweet cousin Joy.
When he took off his sheet
He just couldn't be beat.
And now they have a baby boy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 180,718 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
THE ZOMBIES were, told, to STOP,
By EVERYONE, plus, a Local COP;
But, They wouldn't LISTEN,
&, with a Hint, of DERISION;
Ate, Everyone, They saw, in the SHOP!
Zombie Blush ~~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 180,840 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
TODAY, marks, the, Last, Day, of SPRING,
Listen, as The Mournful VAMPIRES, SING;
"It's a TOTAL BUMMER,
Brief Nights, of SUMMER;
Spending, most, of Our Time, on The WING!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
No Zombies allowed, it's Father's Day!
All the Dads and kids need to cheer and play.
We will all eat cake
At the nice cool lake.
As all evil today is kept away,
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 180,905 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The SON "lived", in The SHADOW, of His FATHER,
Those, who, think, Him, inferior, needn't BOTHER;
One thing, He got, RIGHT,
Was His Technique, to BITE;
Sadly, like, "Dear, Old, DAD", He got CLOBBERED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 180,980 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
TODAY Begins The Summer SOLSTICE,
"The Green Season" Blossoms, for a PRICE;
In a, mere, 90 DAYS,
It, all, melts, AWAY;
Leaving Us, with a Huge Capacity, for ICE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Tonight they will how at the full moon.
Zombies, Witches and the crazy loon.
Summer is here,
We have no fear
It is normal for the month of June.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 181,120 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :blank:
KHARIS, The Mummy, was, finally, Set, FREE,
'Twas a Full Moon Night, amongst the TREES;
Beneath the Lunar PALLOR,
He's "The Man, of The HOUR";
Wrapping's, all, Disintegrated, He's, in BVDS!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once a witch and a troll.
To them life was pretty much droll.
Until they were caught
And their lives were fraught
Paying damages, a huge toll.
There once was a vampire named Sam.
Who was kosher but really missed ham.
So he went to the bog.
To look for a hog.
And found instead, the fair maiden, Pam.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 181,301 times)
:o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o
Fact: I, once, knew a LOUP GAROU,
As Cuddly, as WINNIE, THE POOH;
I don't, mean, to be CRASS,
But, He had a MOUSTACHE;
Which, reminded, Me, of FU MANCHU!
:o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We heard the three loony witches cackle.
It even scared our beloved pet jackal.
This noise me must quell,
So we cast a spell
Which drown them wrapped in block and tackle.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 181,421 times)
??? ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ???
The Mad WITCH Finished, Stirring, Her VAT,
Her 'FAMILIAR' was a Wise, Old, Black, CAT;
As She doled, out, the POTION,
Which, Smelled, like, the OCEAN;
Feline climbed, into the Litter-box and SHAT!
??? ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombies and ghouls keep coming around.
I wish that there was a bad monster pound.
Monsters in some cages.
To act out their rages.
The truly crazy ones should be put down.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 181,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD was, Not, DRACULA'S "TOP PICK",
TIME, was, a-wastin', He had, to work, QUICK;
RENFIELD went MAD,
Called, VLAD, His 'DAD';
So, The COUNT used His Fatal Neck-Twist TRICK!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We tossed some zombies in the moat
And watched as they began to bloat.
I has to be said
That we are ahead.
Proving that zombies do indeed float.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 181,680 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
I, once, knew a GHOST, Who, said: "BOO!"
For Security Reasons, I can't divulge, WHO;
You have, Me, to THANK,
Saving, You, from the 'STANK';
Left, behind, from His ECTOPLASMIC POO!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We saw the Zombie with a drill.
Rampaging near our beloved dill.
Our garden fairy.
Who is called Mary,
Chopped off his head, what a thrill!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 181,801 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ededed
DR. FRANKENSTEIN Was, Vexed, and, CONSTERNATED,
His Assistant, KARL, had, Proven, quite, ADDLE-PATED;
His Request: "a Fresh HEART",
KARL brought a Fresh FART;
WHOOPIE CUSHION, to unholy Union, CONSUMMATED!
ededed ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Rex.
Who felt that he was under a hex.
Alas, in the dark
He went to the park,
And saw some mummies having hot sex.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 181,870 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Confused
THE ZOMBIES are, after, My BRAIN,
For Reasons, They, cannot, EXPLAIN;
Have They 'got an ITCH',
To ROB, from The RICH;
'Intelligence', is, a Trait, They FEIGN.
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Burke.
Who was very much a big old jerk.
It was very plain.
That he had no brain.
So eating garbage was a perk.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 182,128 times)
:o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :o
At first, We Believed, They, All, LIED,
In Shock, We were Forced, to DECIDE;
Whether, MONSTERS, are REAL,
Or, if, it's Their Strange APPEAL;
If, so, are They best, Roasted, or, FRIED?!
:o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Zack.
His victims always had an huge rack.
He was quite a gent.
Would make a small dent.
Zack really had a quite a smooth knack.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 182,282 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THEY are, soooo, Bored, with STEREOTYPE,
Considering, Such, to be Prejudiced TRIPE;
"Some Things, are, 'NORMS',
Yet, WE, Don't, ALL, CONFORM;
Save, to Lust, after NECKS, that, are, RIPE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The monster, PAINo, was without a clue.
We believe that her mind is made of glue.
She stares into space.
OF brains, no trace.
As Dracula says, she's lacking a screw.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 182,444 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The Young MONSTER Breed needed a GIMMICK,
To Engrave Names & Faces, in Ways, SYSTEMIC;
"The Name, of The GAME,
Has, always, been 'FAME';
Dracula, Frankenstein, & The Wolf Man, We MIMIC!"
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombies are lurking in the doorway.
Why can' t they just leave on holiday?
The one they call Rafe.
Is not very safe.
Now, fireworks, might scare them away.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 182,630 times)
Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE CYCLOPS had become MYOPIC,
After living His Life, in The TROPICS;
With Humour, quite, WRY,
He said: "Damn My EYE!"
IGOR remarked: "Change The TOPIC!"
Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Late on Wednesday night, the monsters gather.
In my lane way, I could hear them blather.
Many are drunks
Stink like dead skunks.
They rant of evil deeds, video by Dan Rather.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 182,757 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER Screamed, "FIRE WORKS!"
The Villagers thought it, one, of their "PERKS";
They Howled, with DELIGHT,
Causing poor FRANKIE, FRIGHT;
Humans, oft, are, not, Monsters, just JERKS!
ededed ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The insane zombies huddled by our door.
We then rallied, shouting NEVERMORE!
Their brains on the grill
We called on old Bill.
Who served them to all the hungry and poor.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 182,888 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE slid, down, the SLOPE,
Amid Ice and Snow, with, no, ROPE;
It seemed, very, BRASH,
He Avoided A CRASH;
Adopting His Bat-form, gave HOPE!
thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire tracker.
Who was really more of a slacker.
He never found any.
Thou there were so many.
In his new job he is a safecracker.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 183,030 times)
Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
A Tense Situation; most, Difficult, to ARRANGE,
Hypnotize ZOMBIES, a Concept, too, DERANGED;
As They came, on, "FULL TILT",
Their Insane Brains were REBUILT;
By Their Prey, Singing: "HOME ON THE RANGE"!
Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We heard Zombie and Scream Talker last night.
It was scary They were an evil sight.
As the rockets red blare.
Shot into the night air.
All of us waited to learn of their plight.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 183,233 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ Zombie Razz
THE WIZARD, pleased, with His New SIDEKICK,
To Whom, He, Hoped, to Teach The Art, of MAGIC;
That, Lazy, 'BUMP-ON-A-LOG',
Got, Turned, into a FROG;
And, then.... He CROAKED! How, Very, TRAGIC!
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie with a Gnome.
It was scary on the days he was home.
He was drinking beer
And causing much fear.
Until the cops sprayed him with foam.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 183,370 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
Maybe, RENFIELD was, just, NEUROTIC,
From Hanging, with VAMPIRES, DESPOTIC;
It hit him, quite, HARD,
Trapped, by COUNT ALUCARD;
Unable, to escape, His Realm, HYPNOTIC!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As the evil witch went on her strange rant.
She killed flowers and the special plant.
Her plan has backfired
Payment is required.
She will not be allowed to levant
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 183,515 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
They came, to Sharp Points, very, ANGLED,
With the Power, to leave a Neck, MANGLED;
Some Thrilling ADVENTURES,
For DRACULA'S New DENTURES;
Giving, Him, a Smile, Truly, NEW-FANGLED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named James.
Who was very good at bloody games.
He had quite the knack,
Skills he did not lack,
But somehow it all went up in flames.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 183,638 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :blank:
The WOLF MAN Said, with a HOWL,
"I Love, to Bite, then, DISEMBOWEL!"
"It's, really, an ART,
To shred BODY-PARTS;
Then, Relax & Clean, Up, with a TOWEL!"
:blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Kay.
Who only wanted things her own way.
She put her bloody hook.
Into crazy dumb Brooke.
And watched as her blood washed away.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 183,783 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
I, once, had a FRIEND, QUASIMODO,
Most, folks, thought, Him, to be a DODO;
Looks, are DECEIVING,
But, I am, BELIEVING;
His, was, the Heroic Stature, of FRODO!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy named Willie.
Who shuffled on and killed a lily.
That made us so sad.
We went to his pad.
And wrapped him in lace, very frilly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 183,955 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The ALIEN CREATURE survived the SHIPWRECK,
With SPECIAL EFFECTS, not, exactly, HIGH TECH;
The Producer's VISION,
Was, met, with DERISION;
FILM REVIEWERS panned, It, as "HOAKY DRECK"!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It must be the effects of the moon.
For once again, Zombie fed the coon.
I went outside this dawn.
His garbage on my lawn.
The Zombie is crazier than a loon.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 184,164 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
GHOSTS were floatin', 'round, the Olde PLACE,
Some, of THEM, Headless, Some, with a FACE;
Weird, Strange, and, MEAN,
Of an Ectoplasmic GREEN;
Their "Home", a Filthy PIG-STY, BIG, DISGRACE!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I doubt if things will ever, ever change.
Zombie was staring at me, very strange.
Even at dawn
He's on my lawn.
We hope that he comes down with bad mange.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 184,280 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
I, once, knew an Athlete, named DOLPH,
Who was, Bitten, by a Rabid WEREWOLF;
He disliked "The CHANGE",
Caused, a bad case, of MANGE;
&, Destroyed His Chance, to Play GOLF!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The crazy old crone sat in her chair.
Sending foul odors, smoke in the air.
We wish her away.
She will turn to clay.
And all the Zombies should then beware.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 184,374 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
QUASIMODO came, off, as, OBTUSE,
Appeared, an "easy mark", to CONFUSE;
His HEART, ruled His HEAD,
Even, whence, He was DEAD;
We know, which One, He did CHOOSE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Norm.
Who liked to hunt in a thunder storm.
He loved their necks wet.
It was the best yet.
Even better than coeds in the dorm.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 184,505 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, ROSENCRANTZ,
He "Consumed Mass Quantities", in FRANCE;
As He gorged, on BLOOD,
He felt a hard "THUD";
A Stake, in His heart, He said "Call an AMBULANCE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Ghoul who forgot his guidelines.
Which opened him up to many and sundry fines.
He went out of bounds
And made scary sounds.
When told that he needed cash for planting land mines.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 184,625 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY'S Tomb, Flooded, by The NILE,
Reducing His lavish Sarcophagus, to a PILE;
"I don't mean, to be TERSE,
But, it can't get, much, WORSE!"
'Til, He was eaten, by a Massive CROCODILE!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
On our way back home from Hebrew School.
We spied the old crazy creepy ghoul.
So we did not run,
But had some good fun
Speaking in Hebrew and playing it cool.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 184,757 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::)
JULY is, Now, SPEEDING, ALONG,
'Tis, The Refrain, of a Familiar SONG;
Yet, try, as I MIGHT,
It's Speed, I can't BLIGHT;
AUTUMN Hovers, now, like, KING KONG!
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
In the early morning misty dew.
Monsters gather, there are quite a few.
They plot to destroy.
And kill all our joy.
So we spray painted them all bright blue
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 184,838 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE PHANTOM Ran, out, of THE OPERA,
Chased, by a GHOSTLY JIMMY HOFFA;
"It's, something, we're TRYING,
As We're, unafraid, of DYING;
Hoping, to make a PIC, with FRANK CAPRA!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie started to melt in the heat.
We knew that we now had Zombie beat.
I tossed a young yew.
On the barbecue.
And toasted the Zombie's brain , dead meat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 184,933 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MAUSOLEUM emitted a SMELL,
As RANK, as the BOWELS, of HELL;
Was, It, ZOMBIE ROT?!
Or, WEREWOLF, on POT?
I'm, Certain, I heard a Flush & a YELL!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The crazy crone filled the air with smoke.
Everyone choked, no one wanted a toke.
It is isn't fair.
To pollute the air.
So me pelted her hard with egg yolk.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 185,020 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ hmjfym
As the "LEADER, of ZOMBIES", SELF-STYLED,
MURDER LEGENDRE was, Both, MAD And WILD,
He "Pushed His TRIP",
'Til, Every, Seam, RIPS;
His Fall, to His Death, Freed, All, Those DEFILED!
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a fair zombie named Penny.
Who said that she wasn't getting any.
It was so very plain.
She was without a brain.
When she married a Mummy named Benny.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 185,210 times)
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
Evil YGOR grew, tired, of GRUEL,
So, He challenged DOC F., to a DUEL;
It raised His IRE,
His Gun didn't FIRE;
His Corpse, on a Pyre - what a FOOL!
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Otto.
Who found that he had won the big lotto.
What good was cold cash?
When he needed blood hash.
Never spend money was his new motto.
The old crone is trying to kill us with smoke.
We are coughing and about to uncloak,
A magic spell
If all goes well
It will send her and her clan to Roanoke.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 185,375 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I, once, knew, a VAMPIRE, from KUWAIT,
He, oft, Overslept, because He was "LATE";
When Hunting, for His MEAL,
He'd Score "The Square DEAL";
A Neck-Bite {both sides} + a Heart, on a PLATE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie called Dick.
Who blocked off our path with his brick.
What more can be said?
We wanted him dead.
So now his head sits on a stick.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 185,454 times)
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ tynhrt
There are, certain, Things, which are TRUE,
A CASK OF AMONTILLADO, for FU MANCHU;
Certain Films, from the '50's,
Were, really, quite, NIFTY;
Yet, many, should be Flushed, down THE LOO!
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
On thie Zombie's lawn there is a prize.
A dog left it, there are many flies.
He let it sit
He is a twit.
So, we watch as his sanity dies.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 185,555 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
I, once, knew a ZOMBIE named, JAKE,
Other ZOMBIES thought, Him, a FAKE;
It was, by fierce PRIDE,
He sought, not, a Free RIDE;
He became VEGAN, remaining AWAKE!
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The witch was looking for her daddy.
She heard that his name was Old Paddy.
But there might be another,
According to her mother.
Who worked at the greens as a caddy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 185,681 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA was a VAMPIRE, of GREAT REMORSE,
His FAVOURITE BRIDE Demanded, a DIVORCE;
"I, may, be, an OLDE FART,
But, 'til, Death, do, Us, PART';
I Believe, is, to Be, Our UNBREAKABLE COURSE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Klein.
Who said he was an old friend of mine.
Looking for a kosher meal.
He said my place was ideal.
And wanted to come over to dine.
There once was a vampire named Clive.
Whose coffin was next to a beehive.
Not that he ate honey.
He was after money.
To place high bids on the next blood drive.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 186,080 times)
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :( ~~~~~ ???
I met, a Vile VIRUS, THE CLAW;
Which, ATE My Computer, I SAW,
After 2 Days, AWAY,
I Happy, to SAY;
I'm, Back, so, Count, it, a DRAW!
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~ :'( ~~~ :( ~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Iris.
Who planted a garden filled with Xyris.
She loved her flowers.
They gave her powers.
To fight off the Zombies and their virus.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 186,208 times)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
QUASIMODO wasn't a "USED-UP HACK",
Kept His SCHOLASTIC CAREER, "On TRACK";
Proving, He was, No, FOOL,
Enrolled, in a Big SCHOOL;
NOTRE DAME had a HUNCH, He'd be BACK!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
All wish the Zombies would go on vacation.
A break is needed from aberration.
We need some peace
Wish they would cease.
And are tired of all the damnation.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 186,373 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
Van HELSING leaned, over, to Grab the STICK,
Sharpened, to a Point, He moved, very, QUICK;
Else, to the VAMPIRE, FED,
Himself, become UNDEAD;
Then, of Him, We'd Pen, many, Scary, LIMERICK!
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As we played on our upper deck.
We saw the Zombies, what the HECK?
They started to bay.
Would not keep away.
Eating rotten brains and other dreck.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 186,500 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY had Fallen, Deeply, in LOVE,
For that, into a Sarcophagus, was SHOVED;
After Three-Thousand YEARS,
& a Dozen Tana-Leaf BEERS;
He was, Relaxed, &, as Mellow, as a DOVE!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy name of Paul.
Who would love to get into a brawl.
He would often spin.
Until there was skin.
And would end up just wearing a shawl.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 186,625 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
I, once, Fell, in LOVE, with a VAMPIRE MAIDEN,
Who stole My Heart, with a Love, HEAVY-LADEN;
This may sound, TRITE,
She refused, to BITE;
Three Centuries, On, Our LOVE, Still, isn't FADIN'.
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Mark.
We saw him smoking in the dark.
It smelled like foul skunk.
So we told the Monk.
Who is our fine neighborhood Narc.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 186,717 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE, Flew, Straight, for My NECK,
The CRUCIFIX, I Held, kept, IT, In CHECK;
Its Flight-path, DIVERTED,
Into Bombings, PERVERTED;
What, Others, call: "Guano", I call DRECK!
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We watch as the monsters and fiends gather.
They are screaming and all in a lather.
Why do they all shout?
What is it about?
Alas, they are voting for Dan Rather.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 186,786 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ ;)
I, once, knew a MONSTER, named STEVE,
He raised that most, vile, PET, PEEVE;
It slept, by Day, in some LOAM,
Ate, him, out, of House & HOME;
Yet, had many other Tricks, Up Its SLEEVE!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We watched as the Zombie tossed out water.
Or was it the blood of his granddaughter?
He's a bloody creep.
And no one will weep.
When he is the one that they next slaughter.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 186,833 times)
>:D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :angel:
The Devil "cut a Deal", CONTRACTUAL,
A CHOICE, that, Corrupted DRAC, Y'ALL;
What, Many, are ABLE,
To Dismiss, as a FABLE;
Has a Solid, Basis, in Realms, FACTUAL!
>:D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It is so hot that Zombies should melt.
We don't want to see their smelly pelt.
So flush them away.
No Zombies can stay.
That is the hand they were fairly dealt.
Saturday morning, Zombies are about.
Shuffling around as if they had gout.
They are so scary.
We pity poor Mary.
Who fears these monsters and is on the rout.
A Sunday morning and Zombies STILL.
Someone please give them the poison pill.
What stupid goose.
Let them out loose.
We want them chopped up and used as krill.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 187,187 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
A Reptilian Monster, freed, from Ooze & MUCK,
Fought Its way, into town, with amazing PLUCK;
Using Its Unequaled RAGE,
Until, Trapped, in the CAGE;
Eyes, hideously, ablaze, It disabled the TRUCK!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies are in another rage.
Will someone please just turn this page.
They fought the coons
And all the loons.
Now we have to listen to their outrage.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 187,311 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ thrhrt
"My 'MARRIAGES' are a SHAM, I must CONFESS,
Too, Many, BRIDES, Causes, Me, Great DISTRESS;
Some, only, BORE,
Others... They SNORE;
Making 'Life', around the CASTLE, a Big, Hot, MESS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We watch as many of the monsters lurk.
Very soon they all shall go mad, berserk.
We can not get lazy.
These monsters are crazy
So now we send warnings through our safe network
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 187,444 times)
:o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o
I, once, knew a WEREWOLF, named, MARK,
Who's Bite, was, far, Worse, than, His BARK;
It's My Firm BELIEF,
That, he broke all his TEETH;
Foolishly, Attempting, to Bite, TONY STARK!
:o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Mummy and Zombie decided to race.
I think they let foul Witchy set the pace.
We looked on in dread.
Racing for the dead?
Is it the Olympics or a disgrace?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 187,525 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ :o
A BLOOD-SUCKER, Unearthed, in PERTH,
Was, Unable, to Fly, due, to Her GIRTH;
We Discovered Our FATE,
Was Bound, to Her WEIGHT;
Her Millions, of Babies, as She gave BIRTH!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Pete.
Who was said to have very big feet.
Could they close the lid
On this big foot kid?
Or did he lay in a vaulted suite?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 187,595 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
THE BLOB was, Most, Truly, a GEM,
He'd meet HUMANS, then, EAT'EM;
If They were, Too, DRY,
He'd make Spittle, FLY;
& Wash 'Em, Down, with His PHLEGM!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire from Laos.
Flies were living on her bloody blouse.
The blouse was too posh.
To toss in the wash.
So she traded it for a field mouse.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 187,688 times)
:o ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o
The Egyptian goddess, SEKHMET,
Made the other gods, SWEAT;
The Act, They, ABHOR,
The Madness, called WAR;
Is what kept Them, all, in her DEBT!
:o ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Quick, there are zombies in the mist.
I can hear them shuffle and hiss.
Perhaps we should hide.
Or take a quick ride
To get help from Drac and his pride.
We have plan to make Zombies banish.
It is written in English and Spanish.
They will be no more.
It is our next chore.
So now we all wait to see them vanish.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 187,845 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a Bad DINOSAUR,
Who grew, Bigger, with every HOUR;
Was, exceedingly, TALL,
Yet, Brain, very, SMALL;
Too, Dim, for a Desire, for POWER!
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an odd zombie named Zack.
With a shovel we gave him a whack.
He gave us kind thanks.
Rejoined his ranks.
Where the others gave him zombie flack.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 188,018 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA'S CASTLE, Overflows, with TREASURE,
It's Worthless, to VAMPIRES, by, any, MEASURE;
You can tell, by Their LOOK,
It's, just, Bait, on The HOOK;
Luring Fools, in, for "DRINKS" - Their PLEASURE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Shane.
Who felt that blood sucking was a pain.
He went to the blood bank.
And thus found that it stank.
So he ordered blood take out from Wayne
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 188138 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
On Today's Date, BELA, DIED,
60 Years have passed, in Time's TIDE;
His suffering, long, PAST,
We Pray, HEAVEN, at LAST;
That, Mercy, led His Soul, to GOD'S SIDE.
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Bela died the same day as Elvis.
A vampire dies and a pelvis.
Both deaths are sad.
Elvis made me mad.
And nothing else rhymes with Elvis.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 188,222 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:D
As He mixed, in, the Final INGREDIENT,
To prove the Truth, of His EXPERIMENT;
He took a Big SWIG,
It, really, Flipped His WIG;
MR. HYDE was His New PREDICAMENT!
:angel: ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There was a young vampire named Min.
Who was hiding in the Zombie's bin.
He was looking for blood
But it started to flood.
So he decided to go for a spin.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 188,348 times)
;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
We, slip, away, towards SEPTEMBER,
AUGUST Is, mostly, DISMEMBERED;
Passing Weeks, now, FEEL,
Like, a Slick Banana PEEL;
A HALLOWEEN SLIDE, into OCTOBER!
;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a goblin named Harley.
Who was so mean and very snarly.
Instead of a BOO.
He said F YOU.
And blamed it on his brother Farley,
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 188,488 times)
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTERS were Losing Their MINDS,
"HUMAN BEINGS have been, so, UNKIND!"
"We look, for EMPLOY,
They want, to DESTROY;
Small wonder, We, 'GO FRANKENSTEINED'!"
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie woke me at four this morning.
I am now giving them very fair warning.
If they do it again.
They'll be in the fen.
And no one will be sorry or mourning.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 188,575 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym
I used, to be, THE MUMMY'S SLAVE,
Brewing That TEA, purported, to SAVE;
His need, of a WIFE,
Brought Him, back, to LIFE;
Plus, Archaeologists robbed, his GRAVE!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
PAINo is an evil stupid witch.
And deserves to be thrown in a ditch
She destroyed more flowers.
Ready to use powers.
Thus time to get rid of that sick B*tch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 188,678 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, DEB,
She got, caught, in a huge SPIDER-WEB;
The SPIDER 'DETAINED' HER,
Bit, Her Brain, &, DRAINED, HER;
She felt Her 'LIFE-FORCE, Slowly, EBB.
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a strange zombie named Neal.
With whom we bartered a fine deal.
He would eat the few brains.
Of the one causing pains.
And we wouldn't interrupt his meal
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 188,755 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :blank:
From OUTER SPACE, came, an Exotic FLOWER,
Which, landed, back, in the Day, of The DINOSAUR;
A CARNIVORE, TOO,
When IT was, THROUGH;
IT was Revered, as The Planet's RULING POWER!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Mummy named Sammy.
Who wanted to win a gold Grammy.
He was from the old South
The song out of his mouth.
Was a rocking tune,|"Whammy Mammy"
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 188,818 times)
ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed
The MONSTER decided, to "Test His METTLE",
He was irritated, as, if, by a bunch, of NETTLE;
Oh, He got the ITCH,
To exterminate a WITCH;
By Impaling, Her, with Hot, Sharpened, METAL!
ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We decided to send the Zombies to Hell.
It is the place where they need to dwell.
Once they are out of here.
We won't have any fear.
And the Paino will follow as well.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 189,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE is a Most, Notorious, BEAST,
Whose Real Human Feelings have CEASED;
By day, He plays DEAD,
In His swank COFFIN-BED;
But, by Night, His Vital Signs are INCREASED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Matt.
Who loved going around in his top hat.
He looked very dapper.
Not like a neck snapper.
Who is a second would have you flat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 189,189 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :-[
A "MYSTERY MAN" Ate THE GREAT PUMPKIN,
The Diminutive Suspect, a COUNTRY BUMPKIN;
His Noticeable FLAWS,
Hailed, from The Land of OZ;
And, a Known Member, of the Clan, MUNCHKIN!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Fang.
Who lived on blood, Kool Aid and Tang.
At his local store.
Flavors were a bore.
He imported his drinks from Shenyang.
(http://www.x-entertainment.com/pics/kool1.jpg)
8)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 189,389 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Our World, attacked, by Oozing, Green, SLIME,
Not, SCIENCE FICTION, It's, REAL, This TIME!
If THIS were a JOKE,
I'd call, out, the BLOKE,
Who's Responsible... THERE! Grab That MIME!
:o ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Polly,
Who still liked to play with her dolly.
She would drag it around.
With its head on the ground.
Then she buried it deep in the holly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 189,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, DEAN,
His Personal Habits were, None, Too, CLEAN;
He induced the SLAUGHTER,
On "Welcome Back KOTTER";
To Escape, was Flushed, down, the LATRINE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie named Brainless Eve.
Who had tried , tried and tried to conceive.
She asked Screamer Mike.
To give her a tike.
A Screamer half Zombie. Hard to believe.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 189,750 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
The VAMPIRE awaited Its FATE,
Remained, awake, much, too, LATE;
The DAY, in Full BLOOM,
Had Sealed Its DOOM;
Its Decay followed, the "Usual TRAIT".
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We are on to the Zombie/s stupid tricks.
So we set out many, many sharp sticks.
If he kills one more plant.
We shall do more than rant.
He'll be missing both brains and his pricks.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 189,999 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral
THE ZOMBIE QUEEN, {Formerly, MRS. GRUNDY},
Has Been Munching, on BRAINS, Various & SUNDRY;
She's Killed, Many, a JERK,
All, in a DAY'S WORK;
And, She has Eaten Her Way, to The BAY, OF FUNDY!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 190,000 times)
:-\ ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :-\
Our SORROW, Cannot, Become MILDER,
DR. FRONKENSTEEN'S Gone: GENE WILDER;
WILLIE WONKA, TOO,
Sad, and, Yet, TRUE;
This Big, Old World, just, got, a lot, WIDER.
:-\ ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :-\
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Ollie.
Who kept as a pet an undead collie.
Together they would walk.
Causing much silly talk.
About their blood lust, Lassie and folly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 190,159 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE BRIDE, Her Lips, did LICK,
She sought, to BITE, Her Victim, QUICK;
Altho', quite, a HASSLE,
As She'd left The CASTLE;
Run, thru Her Heart, with an ASPEN STICK!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We looked out into the pouring rain.
And saw Paino munching on a brain.
A Zombie, she is not,
But a witch and a snot.
As she ate, Drac got her in the vein.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 190,290 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
There was, once, a Sad ZOMBIE, named, MOE,
Who tried, hard, to be "FRIEND", &, not, FOE;
He, didn't, SUCCEED,
He made People BLEED;
As ZOMBIES, too, they tell Him "Where, To GO!"
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Greg.
Who really wasn't a rotten egg.
He hates to see blood.
Come out like a flood.
So he would drain his victims left leg.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 190,409 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
MS. VAMPIRE 'Wannabe', completely, SELF-STYLED,
Met "THE REAL THING", In An Instant, BEGUILED;
Not, just, "SOME CLOWN",
Out, for a Night, on The TOWN;
Li'l Miss Fake, Sleeps, by Day, in Her Coffin, DEFILED!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jason.
Who in his old life was a freemason.
Causing others pain.
Went against his grain.
So he buried himself in a basin.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 190,515 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
With AUGUST, Now, Done, We move, on, to SEPTEMBER,
When SUMMER'S Heat-Wave provides Its own EMBERS;
Less, than 30 days, SOBER,
And, We're, into OCTOBER;
Rounding the Bend, to HALLOWEEN, Again! REMEMBER?!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie hated our flowers.
We had to keep watch for hours.
He pull and destroy.
And was a bad boy.
But didn't realize our powers.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 190,590 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
I have, many, Friends, Who, now, are "GHOSTS",
"LOVE, Never, Dies!" So, Their SOULS, BOAST;
I know, This, to be, TRUE,
It Applies, Also, To YOU;
Such Knowledge, is, Worthy, of, Many, a TOAST!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The vampire told me that love never dies.
And that he won't tell me many lies.
To try to relax.
Just like paying tax.
We drain you dry, and will hypnotize.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 190,690 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER was Learning, to TALK,
Thanks, to His Vulcan Teacher, MR. SPOCK;
A Stranger, in a Strange LAND,
Has, Now, at His COMMAND;
The Intuitive Awareness & Meaning, of "GROK"!
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
That crazy old crone did a quick return.
We wonder if this is cause for concern.
She sits there smoking
And is now choking.
Perhaps we should use our magic fern.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 190,830 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ 8)
The SHARK Daughter, of AL O'DON, MEG,
Wanted some 'Dinner', for which, She did BEG;
She aimed, for the FEET,
Of a Yummy Diver, to EAT;
'Til, His SPEAR-GUN, His 'OFFER' RENEGED!
:o ~~~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombies, Old Crones and the crazy witches.
All grew too big for their large size britches.
We wish they were all dead.
And would chop off their heads..
For a bounty, if we could get riches
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 190,999 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Razz
THE OUTER SPACE MONSTER had SERIOUS MASS,
The Earthlings perceived ITS Threat would, not, PASS;
IT flew, into a RAGE,
Failed, attempt, to CAGE;
For, IT Dissolved every FETTER, with HORRIBLE GAS!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie so very foul.
Who always seemed to be on the prowl.
No regard for others.
As he ate their mothers.
Leaving orphans in the care of brothers.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 191,139 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a GHOST, So, BIG,
He'd Crush, Us, when, Dancing a JIG;
To escape, such, a FATE,
He'd, Stop, when, He ATE;
So, Keep, on Hand, a Supply, of FIGS!
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Farley.
Who hung out with Jacob Marley.
They would rattle their chains
And do things so insane.
That the head Ghost had to parley.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 191,301 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :blank:
THE TWO WEREWOLVES began, to NUZZLE,
So, Close, They were MUZZLE, to MUZZLE;
Funky LOUPE-GAROU LOVE,
With a Full Moon, ABOVE;
Aw, C'mon! It ain't that, much, of a PUZZLE!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
So many monsters lurk at our door.
We just can not take this any more.
Huddled in terror.
We found our error.
Let them buy their brains at the store.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 191,450 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
I Remember MAURICE, a Ghostly RENEGADE,
Whose Fashion sense, was Satin and SUEDE;
A Bon Vivant, very, NEAT,
From Head, down, to FEET;
Partied, all, Night, yet, at Dawn, would FADE!
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a goblin named Joe.
Who was sadly, sort of a schmoe.
If things really went wrong.
He would burst into song.
Singing tunes of a Minstrel Show.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 191,555 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIE Crawled, Out, of THE SCUM,
No, Sittin', around, for Him, on His BUM;
Had, to, constantly, FORAGE,
Can't, Afford, no, Cold STORAGE;
Sure Loves, to Flavor His Brains, with RUM!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 191,648 times)
9/11 Remembrance
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
We've seen, how, MONSTERS, are, 'REAL',
By Their Dead Lack, of Capacity, to FEEL;
Responsible, for ENTOMBIN',
Many, Innocent, HUMANS;
No, Soul, left, to $ell, that's Their DEAL.
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As witches sat with their yappy dogs.
Scared off all the princely magic frogs.
Then the cat walked by.
Gave them the evil eye.
Alas, the frogs have returned to their logs.
Today we honor those in heaven.
Who sadly left us on nine eleven.
A sad day, indeed.
Our hearts still bleed.
END ALL TERROR! Say it times seven.
We smell evil in the cool Autumn air.
All the goblins are now leaving their lair.
So take in your spawn.
Goblins eat them like prawn.
Until witches come and demand their fair share.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 191,855 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
Although, a WEREWOLF, I'm, also, a FOX,
Who deplores "Keeping GOD, In A BOX";
You think, Me, DERANGED,
That, somehow, I've CHANGED;
Yet, 10 days, Hence: Autumnal EQUINOX!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Evil ones lurk, are now about.
We hear them rant, we hear them shout.
Thus have no fear.
For help is near.
Zombies soon to be snuffed out.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 192,111 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
I'd, once, purchased a CANE, from ABEL,
Which reminded, me, of their Mother, MABEL;
She was, kinda, THICK,
Didn't care, for, My SHTICK;
Convinced They were, nothing, but, FABLES!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie named Katie.
We believe that she came from Haiti.
I used some VOODOO.
Then bid her Adieu.
That's how she became a Kuwaiti.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 192,322 times)
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
I Knew, a HOBBIT, with a Bad HABIT,
When Upset, He'd Swear: "DAGNABIT!"
'Twas His, only, CRUTCH,
Which, ain't, Sayin', MUCH;
BUGS, He called: "A Wascally WABBIT"!
:o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy named Sally.
Who started a new monster rally.
She thought they all could race.
If Zombie could keep pace.
Who took a shortcut thru the alley.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 192,444 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
That INFAMOUS VAMPIRE, COUNT ALUCARD,
Saw a Play, at THE GLOBE, Starring THE BARD;
It moved, Him, so, DEEPLY,
He became, Quite, WEEPY;
To replace His fluids, He sucked 10 necks, HARD!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Rosie.
Who kept her coffin clean, neat and cozy.
One day some kid.
Opened the lid.
Poor Rosie is gone because he was nosy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 192,655 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
SEPTEMBER is, Over, Half-Way, GONE,
Soon, I, won't, Need, to Mow the LAWN;
Sad, Glorious, TALK,
Shoveling My SIDE-WALK;
Olde Man WINTER makes, Me, His PAWN!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a horror known at the Glick.
Who was mean and nasty down to the wick.
Glick was very evil.
A real boll weevil.
Until the villagers beat it with a stick.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 193,030 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
Cackling Witches, fly, about, on Their BROOMS,
Sailed, boisterously, past The Unkempt TOMBS;
They awakened the GHOSTS,
Who flew, towards the COAST;
'Neath the Full Moon, as the Wolfsbane BLOOMS!
:blank: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Under last night's shiny bright full moon.
We saw Zombie and another goon.
They were doing dope.
There isn't any hope.
So STONED s they drown in the lagoon.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 193,273 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE crawled, out, of The CRYPT,
But, the Marble was, slick, and, He SLIPPED;
Before He FELL, FLAT,
He turned, into a BAT;
"I pulled, that, out, of My Hat!" He QUIPPED.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We saw a zombie much like Farley Granger.
On a train, we are sure he was the stranger.
Said he would kill for us.
That there would be no fuss.
Then we would kill for him, as an exchanger.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 193,444 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SEPTEMBER'S FIENDS are Pushing TIME, ALONG,
As WILD RHYTHMS, Unrelenting, Sing Their SONG;
Summer yields, to FALL,
Yet, is, Never, BANAL;
Leaves, Colouring, Gently, And, Pumpkins, STRONG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As the Autumn leaves now start to fall.
Monsters gather in the shopping mall.
Brains are eaten.
Shoppers beaten.
And we are missing our uncle Paul.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 193,588 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE WITCHES were Dating THE GHOULS,
Dancing, Naked, across Swimming POOLS;
And, The RECORD DJ,
Looks, like, TURHAN BEY;
& Performs 'snip-snip', on Family JEWELS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The evil old witch mixed up her bins.
Just one of her many dumbass sins.
She is crazy trash.
Smoking potent hash.
We are so lucky that she's not twins.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 193,687 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o
TODAY, is The FINAL Day, of SUMMER,
Despite the Fading Heat, it's a BUMMER;
Autumn, then, WINTER,
Whine, like, a VINTNER;
"ROCK ON", like, a Heavy Metal DRUMMER!
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 193,770 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ 40 Days, to Go! ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
WELCOME, to the First Day, of FALL,
THE MONSTERS, All, Obey The CALL;
They'll Vent Their SPLEEN,
Without Being MEAN;
At THE ANNUAL HALLOWEEN BALL!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ 40 Days, to Go! ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Izzy.
A blonde chick and very, very dizzy.
Placed blood in a glass
And added some gas.
To make her a 'latte' warm and fizzy.
There once was a vampire named Burke.
Who was crazy and really a jerk.
He or his wife.
Would take your life.
And blame it on his twin brother Dirk.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 194,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
I, Really, am, a, MOST, MISERABLE BUM,
I give VAMPIRES, GARLIC-CHEWING GUM;
More, than, Bad BREATH,
They Choke, to DEATH;
Then, I drink Their Health, with Garlic RUM!
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Bill.
Who really didn't like the Fall chill.
His coffin was designed.
And very warmly lined.
But being in there wasn't a big thrill.
As the zombies start an early morning stalk.
All the neighbors gather and have a good gawk.
At the ugly slow fools
Brainless shuffling tools.
As they are finished off and are now chalk.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 194,290 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE ZOMBIE, IN-CHARGE, was THE BOSUN,
All, Decked, Out, in TATTERED LEDERHOSEN;
Not, much, Flesh, REMAINED,
But, to The UNTRAINED;
His Taste, for Brains, was, obviously, CHOSEN!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy so sleek.
Who hated to look like a geek.
She only bought rags.
With designer tags.
Hence, her wrapping were very chic.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 194,434 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
There, once, was a GHOUL, from NANTUCKET,
Who Resembled that SINGER, GARY PUCKETT;
I'd draw, You, a MAP,
Of THE UNION GAP;
GHOUL said: "September's Kicked The BUCKET!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As I tossed out the weekly junk.
I saw Zombie scare a poor skunk.
It was not pretty.
She scared our kitty.
And now we are all in a funk.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 194,585 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :o
A Strange GIANT GRAIN, came, from TRAFALGAR,
IT enjoyed, a Reputation, of being, quite, VULGAR;
When, IT landed, in Hot WATER,
The Green Giant's DAUGHTER;
Had IT Mushed, in Milk, &, Declared IT: "BULGUR!"
:o ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As I sat outside with my new phone.
I realized, I was in a danger zone.
Mummies were unbound.
Zombies are around.
Then I was saved by a witch named Joan.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 194,755 times)
??? ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ 8)
FU MANCHU was Dining, on Yummy DIM SUM,
Deciphering the Exotic Works, of R. CRUMB;
Insidiously WISE,
He severed, all, TIES,
To One, He looked, down, upon: TOM THUMB!
??? ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Monsters, Zombies and witches return.
We wonder if they will ever learn.
So, they are kept at bay.
They need to go away.
Or the barn fires will again burn.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 194,844 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS were feeling, FRUSTRATED,
TIME Moved, so, Slowly; was It CONSTIPATED?!
THEY Seek, That, ONE NIGHT,
To Get, Out, &, Cause FRIGHT;
ALL-HALLOW'S-E'EN, so, Quickly, DISSIPATED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The evil has turned the world sideways.
As monsters turn life into a maze.
We have a magic cape.
So now seek to escape.
And return our lives to better days.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 194,974 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In FRIDAY THE 13th, Folks, were a {BLOODY} MESS,
One, after, Another, It was, Bad! SUDDEN DEATH!
Still, in Ways, quite, MELLOW,
VORHEES a Jolly, Good, FELLOW;
JASON Married a Girl! Her name? "SHIRLEY U. JEST"!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I guess that it is some sort of foul fate.
That this morning we woke up very late.
Blood was on the ground.
Brains were spread around.
Zombies had an early start, close the gate.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 195,091 times)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE OPERA PHANTOM, We, All, know, as "ERIK",
THE ELEPHANT MAN, was Born, "JOSEPH MERRICK";
Each achieved, Fame, in a MOVIE,
With LIVES, Less, than, GROOVY;
Their MALTREATMENT, was, Shamefully, BARBARIC!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil one named Scout.
It is said that she had a lot of clout.
A little rat fink.
Who only wore pink.
And won every fight, battle and bout.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 195,240 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
I knew, an Asian VAMPIRE, named, MING,
Who was, Deadly, when He took, to WING;
He would, oft, RETORT,
"I, just, do it, for SPORT;
But, after 'Drinking', I do, Love, to SING!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch named Sarah.
Who had a twin sister Clara.
Their magic spell.
Didn't go well.
So now they live in Canberra.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 195,475 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
Our CASTLE, Now, bedecked, with PUMPKINS,
Tonight's Meal, Eatin' a Mess, of MUNCHKINS;
We, so, Love, OCTOBER,
No Need, to be, SOBER;
Sippin' BLOOD Cocktails + Skulls, for MUNCHIN'!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a tiny troll named Jeeves.
Who loved to play and hide in our eaves.
Alas, by mistake.
We took up the rake.
And blanketed him under the Fall leaves.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 195,620 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
"THOSE NIGHTS" are, NOT, Far, AWAY,
When MONSTERS come, out, to PLAY;
Assembling Their ATOMS,
In Dead Leaves, of AUTUMN;
HALLOWEEN & Such Things Hold SWAY!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Last night was we sat on our deck.
We heard them CRACKLE. What the HECK?
It was those old witches.
The neighborhood bitches.
Spouting out slander, lies and dreck.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 195,810 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
They ride the Night's Autumn WINDS,
On Wings, which appear PAPER-THIN;
They return, to Their NORM,
Their Damned Human FORM;
As They seek, to make, All, of, Us, KIN.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The bad old witch liked to drink.
Spirits of all kinds, she did stink.
Smoking pot.
And a lot.
Maybe we should thus call her shrink.
This morning we saw a crazy Clown.
On his face, a painted bloody frown.
You scare us, go away!!!
We don't want you to stay.
Go play in another far away town.
We watched as the witch left on her broom.
Silently and without a big zoom.
Maybe she'll get lost.
No matter the cost.
And then we can rent out her old room.
We can not give up and lose all hope.
Elderly witches smoking strong dope.
No wonder they crackle.
And howl like a jackal.
Even with ear plugs, we can not cope.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 196,350 times)
:angel: ~~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel:
Of FLOWER'S LIMERICKS, You have a BOUQUET,
Whilst The BARONESS and I have been, AWAY;
'Tis a True FLOWER BED,
As She filled, in, My STEAD;
Having Rested and Read Them, I give Her an A ! {+}!
:angel: ~~~~ :-* ~~~ ;D ~~ :-* ~~ ;D ~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombies to the left, Witches to the right.
No Vampires or mummies in our sight.
We shall stand tall.
And fight them all.
Our army is small but we have a sprite.
A big welcome back to the Baron and his lovely bride. :D
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 196,475 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
Poor, Olde, OCTOBER is, Rapidly, MELTING,
Candidates' LIES, like, Songs, They're BELTING;
A Most, Scary, DATE,
NOVEMBER, The EIGHTH;
HALLOWEEN, Victimized, by MIND-MELDING!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie Witch tossed down her broom.
Then tore a monkey out of her womb.
She is not slick.
Is a real hick.
As she marches slowly to her doom.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 196,599 times)
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-*
"THE NIGHT" shall arrive, in Twenty-One DAYS,
When COSTUMES are Made; Worn, to AMAZE;
We'll make The SCENE,
Upon HALLOWEEN;
Then, upon CANDY And TREATS, shall GRAZE!
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We hear the howling in the breeze.
A sound that causes many to freeze.
Werewolves are scary.
So very hairy.
And won't fair so well in Belize..
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 196,777 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ thrhrt
In The HAUNTED HOUSE, I heard a LOUD CRASH!
I saw, How, The VAMPIRES, The ZOMBIES, did BASH;
To Kill Those UN-DEAD,
They hit Their HEADS;
Dropped a HUGE SAFE, on ZOMBIES' Cranial STASH!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Paino the WITCH was a party pooper.
Always ranting on her porch in a stupor.
Words she did slur.
Her magic a blur.
Now she's been turned into a looper.
(https://thecomfortablecoop.files.wordpress.com/2016/06/cabbage-looper-larvae1.jpg?w=391&h=269)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 196,929 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ :'(
Of many, things, which Challenge & TRY US,
We are, both, now, beset, by a Nasty VIRUS;
This Trick, in the FALL,
Ain't, no, Treat, Y'ALL;
Seeking a CURE, from Our Ancient PAPYRUS!
:'( ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an odd zombie named Herb.
Who didn't know a noun from a verb.
When he went way down.
He looked like a clown.
Gobbling bloody brains on the curb.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 197,050 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :o
THE PUMPKIN CROP Staged a REVOLT,
Saying: "All, of you, Humans, are DOLTS!"
"You take, Us, Odd, PLACES,
You Give, Us, Weird FACES;
Lighting Candles, inside, Us! Horrible JOLT!"
:o ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 197,143 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, forced, to try Counting SHEEP,
From INSOMNIA causing, a Huge Lack, of SLEEP;
Went, from Bad, to WORSE,
His "Best Option", TERSE;
He applied His VAMPIRE BITE, on LITTLE BO PEEP!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie names Fred.
Who placed a pumpkin on his head.
The look wasn't chic.
Made us go EEK, EEK.
As we locked him in the woodshed.
As we decorate for Halloween.
We saw a ghost, I think that it's Jean.
Sweet while alive,
Now she's all jive.
Haunting us with her dance partner Dean.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 197,333 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
OCTOBER Is Happening, Too, FAST!
HALF-WAY, OVER, It Cannot, LAST;
Enjoy Every BREATH,
Of Autumn's DEATH;
Make HALLOWEEN, Truly, a BLAST!
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Scary goblins, ghosts and critters.
Give us all the creeps and jitters.
We hide under the bed.
From all that is undead.
While drinking our gin and bitters,
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 197,400 times)
:) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
It's DR. BANNER'S Anger, that, Acts, as The TRIGGER,
Which, Produces THE HULK, Who, keeps, getting, BIGGER;
On-Lookers, Gawk, AMAZED,
Brains, fog, over, with HAZE;
His CHEERING SECTION'S Chant, Erupts, "GO, FIGURE!"
:) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Danny.
Who started dating my dear Aunt Fanny.
On their very first date.
They decided to mate.
So now they seek a good undead nanny.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 197,497 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
GHOSTS and GHOULS, now, Rehearse, "Being, MEAN",
With Red, Glowing, EYES and Eerie, Vocal, SCREAMS;
Such Practice, reaps Its TOLL,
'Quick Energy' is The GOAL;
"TAKE 5", with a Bowl, of Great Pumpkin ICE CREAM!
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a bewildered ghost named Rex.
Perhaps he was under an evil hex.
When he screamed BOO!
They all said "WHO?"
So he legally changed his name to Tex.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 197,637 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
"I believe, the Wine Barrel's, run, DRY."
"Check, it, for me, I'm, no, longer, SPRY."
"Poor Fellow, Bad MATH,
Fell, into The ACID BATH;
&, Pity: No, one, even, heard, Him, CRY!"
:angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a young fairy named Petal.
Who enjoyed reading Hansel and Gretel.
She scattered some crumbs.
And attracted some bums.
So now Petal is in a fine fettle.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 197,777 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;D
Once, AGAIN, It is, Time, for a JOKE,
For, Such, I'm an Infamous, Aulde, BLOKE;
By My Rod and My STAFF,
I hope, to make, you, LAUGH;
With Last Lines, Ever, "Going, For BROKE"!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 197,779 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
Allow, Me, make, this, Abundantly, CLEAR,
Were It, not, for Him, I'd, not, be, HERE;
He changed My LIFE,
I've got a Vampire WIFE!
Happy Birthday, BELA, for, both, Laugh & TEAR!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire mouse.
Who scurried into our warm house.
"May I be so bold'
"I am very cold"
He squeaked, as he sucked on my spouse.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 197,909 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE played, with His FOOD,
Said: "I'm, just, in a Frivolous MOOD!"
So, He did ORCHESTRATE,
That Poor, Victim's FATE;
Then, Swiftly, Drained him, How RUDE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a young vampire named Rick.
Who wanted to go out and treat or trick.
He got lots of candy.
Which is very dandy.
Till he treated himself to little Mick.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 198,198 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE ROYAL VAMPIRE Appeared, in The NUDE,
The ZOMBIES, All, Swore: "You are, Too, CRUDE!"
He did PERPETRATE,
A new, Act, of STATE;
Odd Fashion, like, Blood, be, constantly, RENEWED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 198,325 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
I, don't, Care, what, others, may SAY,
Since, it is My BIRTHDAY, TODAY;
I may be, Older, than DIRT,
Yet, My BETH and I, FLIRT;
For, Much, More, of, This, I Do PRAY!!!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As we were raking leaves and talking,
We realized that Zombie was stalking.
If only our rakes,
Were as good as stakes,
Zombie would be packed, gone and walking.
Dear Baron, you bring so much joy!
Your rhymes make us all shout, "Oh boy!!"
But you've much more to do-
With your fun Birthday crew,
And I bet you'll have a ball!
You rascal, you!
Your buddy, Charlotte. :)
There once was a vampire from Perth.
Who wanted more time walking this Earth.
He desired some sun.
And didn't want to run.
So he prayed and prayed for rebirth.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 198,707 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
Today, Our Wedding Anniversary, # SEVEN,
BETH'S Love expands my Life, like, LEAVEN;
Sharing, Tears, or, MIRTH,
It's, always, RE-BIRTH;
Makes My Heart feel, like, Earth is HEAVEN!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I feel the cold icy fingers of death.
Today I can even smell its foul breath.
Sorry, I won't go.
But what do you know?
It is not my turn, he has come for Seth.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 198,858 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
With OCTOBER, so, Rapidly, ENDING,
Six Days remain, for Our BLENDING;
Of Costumes & CANDY,
& Make-Up, quite, DANDY!
Too, soon, WINTER, we'll be FENDING!
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The witch cried out "The smell, THE SMELL"
So we knew that all was not well.
Thus we had to tweet,
She tossed her meat
Onto the sidewalk, not so swell.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 198,955 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA prepared, for His PARTY,
Ghosts & Monsters, All, dressing, SMARTLY;
By the end, of It, ALL,
They enjoyed The BALL;
Dancing & Singing & SCARING, HEARTILY!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named blinky Miles.
Who would scare us with his stinky smiles.
He was so damn mean.
That on Halloween.
Brains were stacked by his door in bloody piles.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 199,022 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
TONIGHT, Our COUNT-DOWN, is, FIVE,
In Honour, of COUNT DRACULA'S WIVES;
Only, FIVE Nights, to GO,
But, They're, all, in a ROW;
For You LIMERICK Cut-Ups, with KNIVES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
He didn't leave on Halloween.
How could fate be so very mean?
Farewell our Cool Ghoul.
I will pray in Shule.
A more loved host was rarely seen.
R.I.P. John Zacherley
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 199,199 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
MONSTER KIDS know Horror Host, ZACHERLEY,
At NINETY-EIGHT, He left, us, a bit, too, EARLY,
His First Name was JOHN,
Also, known, as ROLAND;
Makes This HALLOWEEN, Sad, for YOU and ME!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Witches, Zombies and monsters now lurk.
Paino the witch is going berserk.
Ranting and raving.
She's not worth saving.
Even as witches go, she is a jerk
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 199,409 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
THREE Days, remain, until OUR BIG NIGHT,
WE shall "TRICK OR TREAT", 'til DAYLIGHT,
Then, back, to Our CRYPT,
With a Great, Big, "HIP, HIP";
"HOORAY, For HALLOWEEN" & CANDY BITES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies encountered a big fail.
It is time for them to turn and bail.
Pay their fines.
No fine wines.
Thus it's their time to leave and turn tail.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 199,644 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Me, Oh, My, almost, a FULL YEAR, Gone, BY;
TIME, Aging, has faded... 2016, GOOD-BYE;
I don't, mean, to be, MEAN,
Tomorrow, is HALLOWEEN;
I'll be Candy Goblin, Sans, Question, "WHY"!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Witches, Zombies, goblins and a mummy.
At our door looking for something yummy.
They asked for a treat
And something to eat.
Bats, spiders, worms and things very gummy
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 199,770 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Ah, TONIGHT, We got Our "HAPPENIN' SCENE",
No, lie, when, I say, that, We are, All, KEEN!
We're SUPER-EXCITED,
In, no, way, BEKNIGHTED;
BETH & I Wish, You, All, A HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Lights on, pumpkins lit we were so handy.
But hardly any goblins came for candy.
We had many treats
And yummy fun eats.
Maybe we should've given out brandy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 199,959 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
HUMAN, or, MONSTER, We, all, have Our 'TAINTS',
In Our Best Behaviour, We show some RESTRAINT;
In Compassion, We MODEL,
HOLY SOULS & APOSTLES;
After, All-Hallow's E'en, We Celebrate ALL SAINTS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We can hear the Zombie's tormented scream.
He rants and raves and calls us evil mean.
Vampires now gamble
That he'll no longer shamble.
No brains for him, so he tries to catch bream.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 200,000 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
The WEREWOLF Transformed, Getting, HAIRIER,
His Howls, capable, of breaking the Sound BARRIER;
But, that's, not, ALL,
Because He's, so, SMALL;
He became an Adorably Cute, Tiny, WERE-TERRIER!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It rained on the monster's parade.
No dancing for them in the glade.
Mummies and ghouls
Acting like fools.
They will not get a passing grade.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 200,155 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
THE GHOST Moaned His way, throughout the CASTLE,
Sins, Committed; He was bogged, down, by a PASSEL;
He Repented, Every, HOUR,
Of His Abuse, of POWER;
Trapped, By His Castle's Decay, was a hell, of a HASSLE!
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jackie.
Who was strange, silly and fairly wacky.
Then she met old Sue.
Who is a big shrew
Now they are known as evil, mean and tacky.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 200,255 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
A ZOMBIE Bit, Me, on The NOGGIN!
&, Now, My Olde BRAIN, is, FOGGIN';
All, Sorts, of PAIN,
Come, with the CHANGE;
Now, I've forgotten, how, to LOG-IN!
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 200,370 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
A MUMMY was Known, to Stalk RICHARD STARKEY,
Other Reports said: "That's a Bunch, of MALARKEY!"
The MUMMY, went FETAL,
After meeting THE BEATLE;
& RINGO Autographed The Old EGYPTIAN'S CAR-KEY.
:o ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We wonder what monsters lurk beneath the leaves.
Zombies, mummies, trolls or vampires with heaves.
Wish that I had a stake,
But will take my old rake
And bury them all under the foul neighbor's eaves.
Having turned the clocks back an hour.
We have zapped the evil one's power.
So nothing works.
Now it just smirks.
As we bury it under dead flowers.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 200,744 times)
:-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D
Too, Early, it's becoming, so, DARK,
Yet, the light, in Your eyes, is a SPARK;
But, as You are, UNDEAD,
That Spark is BLOOD RED;
Our Evenings, Together.; What A LARK!
:-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Jason.
Who used to be a nice old mason.
He likes his brains hot.
And covered with snot.
So he stole our supply of capsaicin.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 200,838 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES played "HIDE & GO SEEK",
Running, All, about, like, Crazy FREAKS;
Then, Drinks, all, AROUND,
Provided, by a Bloody CLOWN;
Then, on, to Things, of which No One SPEAKS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie lurks, we sense another trap.
We are alert and don't fall for his crap.
Brainless and not dead
A combo we dread.
Until Mario breaks his kneecap.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 201,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS had fled, in Stark FEAR,
Learning, this, was an ELECTION YEAR;
"The Ride has been, WILD,
The Electorate BEGUILED!"
DRACULA smiled: "Who wants a BEER?"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We can not believe our cruel fate.
And count the votes state to state.
Monsters are bad
But Trump is mad.
The Barbarians are at the gate.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 201,102 times)
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ GOD, Bless AMERICA ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
With the Counting, Now, Over and DONE,
Work, remains, to make Our Country, ONE,
The Voters have DECIDED,
The Paths, Too, DIVIDED;
Difficult, to End This LIMERICK, with a PUN.
:angel: ~~~ :angel: ~~~ GOD, Bless AMERICA ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an old bent troll named Jack.
It is said that he sold Zombie bad crack.
So stupid old Ron,
And brave young Don,
Had to give them both a strong arm whack.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 201,201 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMIES had a Conference, in a Huge TOMB,
So many attended, They used Adjoining ROOMS;
"In the Name, of Great CHEOPS,
Someone, please, Call The COPS;
To Rid, Us, of Mummy WITCHES & Their BROOMS!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie named Wyatt.
Who was loud and not very quiet.
Drac wanted to sleep.
His anger was deep.
All the vampires started to riot.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 201,275 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :-\ ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-*
YGOR had that Nasty KRICK, in His NECK,
So, He says, to Himself: "What the HECK?!"
"I've left, no, Stone, UNTURNED,
And, what, have I LEARNED?!"
"That, I could have been GREGORY PECK!"
:o ~~~~~~~ :-\ ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G
~~~~~~~~ thrhrt thrhrt thrhrt thrhrt thrhrt~~~~~~~~
There once was a woman in Venice,
Who a Vampire called on to menace,
He went for a killing,
But left with a filling,
For he'd crept in the home of a dentist!
~~~~~~~~ thrhrt thrhrt thrhrt thrhrt thrhrt~~~~~~~~
There once was a vampire named Alice.
She was filled with both hate and malice.
But then she had sex.
With the mummy Rex.
And eloped to a palace in Dallas.
There once was a vampire named Minnie.
Who drank so much blood, she wasn't skinny.
She loved some daft Baron,
Who in turn loved Karen.
Until she was taken with a Jinni.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 201,450 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ >:D
NOVEMBER, They say, on a SATURDAY NIGHT,
Next E'en, ye FULL MOON Shines, Big & BRIGHT;
You'd think, Me, a LOON,
Yet, on yon SUPER-MOON;
Not, as Bird, but, WEREWOLF! So, beware, I BITE!
;D ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was an Egyptian Mummy,
Who really was no happy bunny,
Allergic to dust,
He couldn't adjust,
For his bandages made his nose runny!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 201,500 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :blank:
TONIGHT, a HUGE Treat! A WHALE, of a MOON,
GARGANTUAN, so, I grabs Me Trusty HARPOON;
I'll navigate The THAMES,
Whilst hunting Old JAMES;
& Croon: "The DISH ran, away, with The SPOON!"
:blank: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G
I can't believe so many left us this week.
We are too sad to even start to speak.
Why not take the Trump?
Or zombie's fat rump?
Leonard, Robert and now Leon. So bleak.
:(
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a misty and dark London Street,
A Werewolf was prowling for meat,
Then a She-Wolf appeared,
And the old dog was scared,
For the hairy fanged lass was on heat!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They gathered under the super moon.
Vampires, Zombies, Trolls and a loon.
Then a werewolf howl.
It wasn't an owl.
That scared them all in Saskatoon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a creature with Gills,
Who liked to go swimming for thrills,
When a lady came by,
Gillman let out a sigh,
As she screamed and ran for the hills!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 201,673 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
Ye CASTLE GHOST was, an Aulde, SCOTTISH LAIRD,
Who came, back, as a HAUNT, Forever, ENSNARED;
"Had I, only, been KIND,
'Stead, o' a Stupid SWINE;
In This New Life, 'ow, much, better, I'd 'ave FARED!"
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G
There once was a zombie named Kermit
Who was killed attacking our hermit.
It is all over town.
That he was taken down.
And we are around to confirm it.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 201,858 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The Sky Pales, heavily, as It shifts, into NIGHT,
Breathe Decay's Hunger, in the Fading LIGHT;
The Darkness, They RULE,
Feeding, upon Sorry FOOLS;
Drawn, into Their Corrupted Sphere, They BITE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G
There once was a handsome vampire king.
Who gave his beloved a ruby red ring.
She looked at the bloody rock,
Which she decided to hock.
And flee with Van Helsing to old Beijing.
~~~~~ Zombie Razz Zombie Razz Zombie Razz Zombie Razz~~~~~
There once was a man-eating beast,
That went out in search of a feast,
After finding a pub,
It filled up on grub,
Feeling groggy from all of the yeast!
~~~~~ Zombie Razz Zombie Razz Zombie Razz Zombie Razz~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 202,120 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
Long, Ago, We began, with Page ONE,
Madly, Abounding, with Limerick PUNS;
We've made, much, PROGRESS,
Plus, Quite, a Bit, of a MESS;
For The Universal Monster Army's FUN!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G
A couple of Zombies, out in the back.
It is the evil twins, Zack and Mack.
They are up to no good.
Doing something with wood.
While waiting for the trolls to attack.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 202,272 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
We had probed the Olde GRAVEYARD, at DUSK,
Unaware, that, the LIVING, give, off, a MUSK;
Then, we heard COUGHIN',
Emanate, from a COFFIN;
And, Saw, Arise, an Undead Monster, with TUSKS!
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A rhyme a day keeps the doctor away,
So without any further delay,
I offer one more,
Without any chore,
So our limerick thread won't decay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a travelling Gremlin,
Who called upon the great Kremlin,
And stepping a boot in,
He met mad Rasputin,
And the poor mite ran away trembling!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a mummy named Toulouse.
Who's wrappings started to become loose.
So from every angle.
Things started to dangle.
And now he's been nicknamed the Moose.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a roadside motel,
Whose owner was rather unwell,
His head was a mess,
But mother knew best,
For he did things too awful to tell!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 202,642 times)
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
The WITCHES were cleaning Their ROOMS,
Of Many, Old, Things, Stolen, from TOMBS;
Many Fingers and TOES,
Plus, an Old, Runny, NOSE;
Finalized Multi-Tasking, with Their BROOMS!
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie named Pete.
Who thought he was one of the elite.
With his nose in the air.
He would stroll thru the fair.
Looking for victims to browbeat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 203,255 times)
>:( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o
RENFIELD had, to wait, Nervously, at BORGO PASS,
For tardy Service, He'd, The Coachman, LAMBASTE;
When, at last, It, ARRIVED,
He stated, Feeling, DEPRIVED;
The Driver, insulted, threw, Him, down The CREVASSE!
>:( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was an ambitious Ghoul,
Who opened a grave-robbing school,
But on lesson one,
It all went wrong,
For his students dug up a cesspool!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a vampire named Kay.
Who just had to have things her own way.
We nicknamed her Lucy,
As she was so goosey.
That she partied as night turned to day.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 203,777 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
THE ZOMBIES were, All, running, LATE,
Charging, onward, to an Inevitable FATE;
Then, felled, to Their KNEES,
By the Violent BREEZE,
Of Weapons, discharged & Bullets, in PATE!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Randy.
Who was crazy about lovely Sandy.
She wasn't undead.
But turned his old head.
Thus he drown his sorrows in sweet brandy.
Zombie Grin Zombie Confused Zombie Nuetral Zombie No Smile Zombie Grin Zombie Confused Zombie Nuetral Zombie No Smile
There was a zombie named Pete,
Who hated the taste of live meat,
So needing a fill,
With no-one to kill,
He decided to eat his own feet!
Zombie Grin Zombie Blush Zombie Nuetral Zombie No Smile Zombie Grin Zombie Blush Zombie Nuetral Zombie No Smile
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 204,024 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, FRED,
Who made, All, Other ZOMBIES "SEE RED";
He'd start, with a FIGHT,
Yet, end, up, with a BITE;
When, Done, Those UN-DEAD were, DEAD!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie named Shawn
A slob, dropped his brains on our lawn.
We called the police,
Who told him to cease.
But all that he did was to yawn.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 204,204 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ :o
That ALIEN BEING, from Deep OUTER SPACE,
Had, just, Crash-Landed, in a Metallic CASE;
UNEARTHLY, IT WAS,
We had JUST CAUSE;
Having taken One Look, at ITS Inhuman FACE!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch nicknamed Beal.
She was so dumb, it was unreal.
Beal had an old chopstick.
And thought it a broomstick.
Fly, fly, fly away, she would peal.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 204,304 times)
u6juu ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ u6juu
I, once, slew a VAMPIRE TURKEY,
My Memory, of It, a tad, bit, MURKY;
He was, HALF-BAKED,
So, I threw, in, a STAKE;
That's, when, It stopped being PERKY!
u6juu ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie so jerky
Who decided to serve a turkey
Its brain was small
It didn't serve all
But she was always very quirky
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 204,444 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
KING BORIS KARLOFF was, Truly, GREAT,
My Belated Birthday Wish, One Day, LATE;
Not, just, for This DUDE,
But, it, also, INCLUDES;
His Child, SARA, Who shares this BIRTH-DATE!
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a troll named Little Rough
Who really felt that she was hot stuff
Her sister Mary
Was very scary.
But she was just trollie, smelly, gruff
tynhrt~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ tynhrt
There was phantom named Bruce,
Who was kind of a creepy recluse,
He tried to be ghoulish,
But felt rather foolish,
For he wouldn't say BOO to a goose!
tynhrt~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ tynhrt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a gelatinous BLOB,
That devoured an entire mob,
But the evil so horrid,
Was alas frozen solid,
Before it could finish the job!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 204,599 times)
;D ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE INVISIBLE MAN had a Neat TRICK,
He'd sneak, up, on ZOMBIES and KICK;
They'd Thrash, about, INSANE,
Then, He'd kick, in, Their BRAINS;
It, Always, Left Their Necks, in a KRICK!
;D ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We think that it is that witchy chick
Who is causing our keypad to stick.
All will soon be well
We will break her spell
And get back to typing really quick.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 204,777 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
TODAY is Our FINAL, FULL, DAY,
TOMORROW, We must, Go, AWAY;
We will, not, GRIEVE,
Since We must LEAVE;
Knowing We shall Return, SOMEDAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
thrhrt~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ thrhrt
There once was a vampire named Hank,
Who got thirstier the more that he drank,
At the end of his tether,
He devised something clever,
And opened an all-night blood bank!
thrhrt~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ thrhrt
ededed~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8)
There was a chap named Frankenstein,
Who met an old man who was blind,
Together they sat,
And having a chat,
They enjoyed a cigar and some wine!
8)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ededed
There was a crazy vampire named Russ
He would often ride with us on the bus
Russ wanted to talk
About some old hawk
Sadly no one would ever believe us.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 204,977 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
Whilst, 'tis, ever, such, Fun, to ROAM,
I concur: "There's, no, place, like, HOME."
Nestled, snug, once, AGAIN,
With My Cat and BEST FRIEND;
I sat, down, and, wrote, You, this POEM!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Betty.
Who lived at the end of a long jetty
She had a strange taste
Nothing went to waste
As she snacked on blood over spaghetti
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was an invisible man,
Who tried a most devious scam,
To rob loads of cash,
As quick as a flash,
But the bank teller saw through his plan!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 205,055 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA bought, Me, a GIFT,
Designed, to give My Spirits, a LIFT.
It's, not, terribly, BRIGHT,
As, It dissolved, in SUNLIGHT;
Upon Learning Its Fate, He'll be MIFFED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a cackling Witch,
Whose broom suffered a glitch,
And with a shrill cry,
She fell from the sky,
And landed hat-first in a ditch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 205,205 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :blank:
This Month, of NOVEMBER, is, Nearly, OVER,
As YETIS eat Spaghetti and RUSSELL STOVER;
From Cold Alaskan CLIMES,
To Hawaiian Winter-TIMES;
Such, is the Migration, of The GOLDEN PLOVER!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I am currently under a hex
We think that the cause is complex
My keys stick
They seem sick
Evil haunts this machine, I cry vex
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 205,350 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
The TREE is, up, Filling Our LIVING ROOM,
Christmas Wonder, to see, dispelling GLOOM;
So, Welcome, DECEMBER,
Amid Fireplace EMBERS;
&, Old SAINT NICK will be, Appearing, SOON!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I await the festival of lights.
Hope there are no monsters in our sights
Zombie shambles
Strangeness rambles
Hanukkah wishes with all our might
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 205,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE COUNT cleaned, up, a Messy TOMB,
"Time was, this, was a Stately ROOM!"
"But, as CENTURIES, UNWIND,
TIME is, oft, LESS, than, KIND;
My MAID SERVICE? A WITCH & BROOM!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a vampire named Judd,
Who grew tired of drinking warm blood,
So he left for a swamp,
With no necks to chomp,
Where he wallowed with frogs in the mud!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a Zombie from Atlanta.
Who decided that he wanted to eat Santa.
Brains soaked in Holly,
From the one so Jolly,
Was the Zombie's new much chanted manta.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 205,705 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
In My Castle, dwelt a VAMPIRE, named, CLARK,
Whose Appearance was, both, Revolting & STARK;
Although, He was SCARY,
He'd 'Drink' His Gal, MARY;
With, such, Precision, that, He, never, left, a MARK!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch from Sulawesi
We heard that her nickname was "That Jessie"
Her chants were so loud,
She was not that proud.
And stayed in places that were very messy
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 205,850 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Now, before We get "Seasonally", Carried, AWAY,
There is, Something, I've, just, got, to SAY;
To, All, Human BEANS:
"HAPPY HALLOWEEN!"
Post-Turkey & Pre-CHRISTMAS, HAVE-A-NICE-DAY!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named the Boss Perry
Who enjoyed a haunt and a good sherry.
For great Caesar's ghost.
He loved that the most
Because he was both grumpy and merry.
thrhrt~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
There once was a vampire bride,
Whose husband was preoccupied,
Each night he'd go out,
And by day lay about,
So she ran off with Jekyll and Hyde!
Zombie No Smile~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ cl:)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 206,052 times)
:) :) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :) :)
Those Wonderland Twins, Tweedledee & TWEEDLEDUM,
Fancied a Chinese meal, with, some, Yummy DIM-SUM;
At the Table, NEXT,
The Mad Hatter, VEXED;
Sought, to leave a Tip, but, got Rolled, by Some BUM!
:) :) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :) :)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil ghoul named Gus.
He was green and nasty and full of pus.
For the highest bid
He would scare your kid.
No one knew or cared or made a fuss
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 206,155 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
In the Deep Forest, the Trees' Gnarly BARK,
Seldom, is pierced, by Sounds, of the LARK;
Them Woods, really, CAIN'T,
Conceal, All, Their HAINTS;
Who populate that Land, soon, after DARK!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil troll named Hank.
Who had a large belly, plus he stank.
He was under trash.
Seeking our cache.
But we had taken it all to the bank.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a Vampire Bat,
Who drank so much blood he got fat,
And too bloated to fly,
He yelled out Banzai!
Then fell down to earth with a SPLAT!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 206,310 times)
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
No, Matter, how, much, RENFIELD TRIES,
He, just, Can't, give, up, Eating FLIES;
Plain, or, with MUSTARD,
Or, Baked, in a CUSTARD;
Their Taste is "The BUZZ", to MESMERIZE!
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The troll was an horrible creature.
And was previously a bad teacher.
As often the case.
She was wasted space.
Thus her doorknob brain was her best feature.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 206,455 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :blank:
THE WOLF MAN Howled, 'neath The MOON,
His Neighbours, Rudely, thought, Him, a LOON;
He didn't, mean, to be, CRASS,
But, He sought, out, a LASS;
A Pentagram, on her hand, to Him, was a BOON!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 206,555 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
PEARL HARBOR was YESTERDAY,
JOHN LENNON was, Taken, TODAY;
The Years, seem, to MERGE,
Which gives, Me, the URGE;
To be, Thank-Full, for LIFE & PRAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a wolfman named Dave,
Who was seldom seen out of his cave,
Filled with great pride,
At full moon he'd hide,
Without having a shampoo and shave!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 206,733 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
I remember, that WOLF MAN, named, DAVE,
Although, Different, He was, certainly, BRAVE;
Yet, I Laughed, when I HEARD,
Him mispronounce a WORD;
It was "SUAVE", but, He pronounced: "SWAYVE"!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Quote from: BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG on December 09, 2016, 07:21:21 PM
I remember, that WOLF MAN, named, DAVE,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That party animal named Wolfman Dave,
Loved nothing more than a moonlit rave,
And his favourite bash,
Was the Monster Mash,
Where young ghouls gathered to misbehave!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a Zombie named Annie
Who was looking for a new nanny.
The old one called Dawn
Ran away with Troll Shawn
So now she hired her aunt Fanny.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 206,900 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA, unafraid, to Test, His METTLE,
Whilst His enemies, their Stakes, did, WHITTLE;
First, as a Mist, He'd ENGULF,
Then, Take the Form, of a WOLF;
Draining, Them, of, All, Fluid, including, SPITTLE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 207,027 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
TONIGHT, Ends DAY, Number ELEVEN,
DECEMBER, Rising, as, if, It is LEAVENED;
Tomorrow, the TWELFTH,
Move The Elf, on the SHELF;
Old Year, gone, like, a Memory, of HEAVEN.
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 207,207 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES' Existence Is, GRUELING,
For Any Reason, They're, Always, DUELING;
They'll Punch, Out, Your LIGHTS,
Over The Slightest, Of SLIGHTS;
Yet, still, take Their Breaks, for REFUELING!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a beast named Godzilla,
Who clashed with a huge Caterpillar,
In a fight so terrific,
They crossed the Pacific,
Before crushing the whole of Manilla!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 207,370 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ;D
Our World {Thanks, to GODZILLA}, is, SAFER,
Although, HE Flattened MANILA, like, PAPER;
He's bet, on, by BOOKIES,
&, Feared, by, All, ROOKIES;
Has a Yen, for Cookies, like: VANILLA WAFERS!
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a troll from the West coast.
Who was mean to all and would boast.
That he was nasty.
Ate our meat pasty.
And then devoured our crown roast.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 207,450 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Yes, currently, We have TRYING TIMES,
Each day, making, up, New RHYMES;
To make, it, a HOOT,
With Christmas, to BOOT;
My Stockings are filled, with GREEN SLIME!
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an monster named Beal
Who had a roommate who would steal.
She borrowed our lights
And got into fights
So we cast a spell that was real
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 207,700 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA met THE MUMMY, in His TOMB,
"I Love, All, of Your ARTWORK, No, GLOOM!"
"COFFINS, dissolve, into DUST,
But, not, Your SARCOPHAGUS;
Your ABODE, will Inspire My Castle ROOMS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a travelling Yeti,
Who came by a wee Scottish Jetty,
And fishing for Shrimps,
He had a quick glimpse,
Of the timid old beast known as Nessie!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 207,930 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES, All, said: "NO WAY!"
"I'll Expose You, All, to the Light, of DAY!"
THE ZOMBIES APPLAUDED,
They, too, were DEFRAUDED;
When It was Done, They, All, went, AWAY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 208,150 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Am I CRAZY?! Or, do, YOU, also, HEAR, IT?!
It's MIRACULOUS! I hope, You'll go, NEAR, IT;
Beyond Rhyme, or, REASON,
'T'is, More, than a SEASON;
Grace, Most, Amazing: The CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 208,333 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a SAD GHOST, named DALE,
Who Clinked, 'bout the Castle, in CHAIN-MAIL;
"I Confess, It; too, much, PRIDE,
'Tis ye Sole Reason, Why, I DIED;
One, cannot, Live, long, 'pon Kale & WASSAIL!"
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 208,585 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
I, once, Grabbed THE MUMMY'S HAND,
For, He was, sinking, in the QUICKSAND;
I meant, Him, No, HARM,
As I Ripped, Off, His ARM;
He was Gone! 'Twas, not, as I'd PLANNED!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 208,788 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS were, Wishing, Us WELL,
Hoping, We, can Avoid Their Private HELL;
"Although, LIFE, can be, ROUGH,
You're made, of The Right STUFF;
Promised, A Chance, in Heaven, to DWELL!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 208,999 times)
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed
THEY Chose, to Exercise, BRAIN, Over, BRAWN;
Our Dear BORIS, BELA, and, oft-times, LON;
Their Minds, altho', TORTURED,
With BRAINS, often, SUTURED;
Their MONSTERS, in Our Hearts, LIVE, STRONG!
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 209,209 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
{I Miss, All, of My Co-Conspirators, Here!}
CHRISTMAS, Once, Again, Is, nearly, HERE,
So, I offer this Wise Bit, of HOLIDAY CHEER;
Despite the Distance, You ROAM,
There, ain't, no, Place, like, HOME;
It's, in the Hearts, of FRIENDS, Far & NEAR!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 209,415 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
As THE VAMPIRE Flew, down, the CHIMNEY,
Bumping, into Someone, He Yelled: "JIMINY!";
He Meant, Neither: "CRICKET",
Nor: "BOBBY BORIS PICKETT";
'Twas ST. NICK, just, Returning, from BIMINI!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
With Sandy Claws on his merry way,
It appears to be a joy filled day,
Happy are the cute little fiends,
Bouncing about like Mexican beans,
Personally I'd rather have a large food tray.
Happy holiday's to all the members of the UMA.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 209,555 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
On THIS NIGHT, at The MIDNIGHT HOUR,
The MONSTERS, weak, are Without POWER;
No One's House can be HAUNTED,
Whilst St. Nicholas, Most, WANTED;
Delivers the True Meaning, of HAPPY HOUR!
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
With the little jingle of his bell,
Rudolph decided all's not well,
I'm fed up being the safety light,
Now's the time to end my flight,
He let one rip Ho ho ho what a smell.
not gone ... computer problems.
sick keyboard.
Many keys sticking on laptop.
MERRY XMAS.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 209,800 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Our Dear FLOWER is beset, by a SICK KEYBOARD,
We Pray, that, SOON, It will be, Fully, RESTORED;
Christmas Magic, TODAY,
I am Most Happy, to SAY;
MERRY CHRISTMAS, to All, in LOVE, OUT-POURED!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 209,999 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS, Really, Knew, How, to PARTY,
Each, One, in His Own Way, QUITE, HEARTY;
THE BLOB was THE WORST,
Dealing, Out, ITS Vile CURSE,
The Others, All, Screamed: "You're, Too, FARTY!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 210,000 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o
THE BLOB is Comprised, of INCREDIBLE MASS,
The Squeamish, do find, IT, to be, Very, CRASS;
Hook, Line, and, SINKER,
IT'S, just, One, Big, STINKER;
When, Asked, to Visit, I Say: "Sorry, I'll PASS!"
:o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 210,012 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o
THE BLOB has Created a PALINDROME,
And, Did It, without, ever, Leaving HOME;
A Bad Case, of 'THE MUNCHIES',
'Cos, Humans Is, So, CRUNCHY;
Especially, Those Cold Alaskans, in GNOME!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Why was the stranger looking so grim,
Was it because no one could see him,
Jack Griffin was his notorious name,
And his temper he could not tame,
Rich and poor was his target to trim.
In Egypt's fair land there is John Banning,
While he search's for Mummies tanning,
He also found many a rare tome,
One of those he found by a rotten tomb,
Why it's a new book by our own Chakor Channing.
Good luck with your writing as there will be many BUMPS ahead.
There once was a scribe of great stock,
Who tripped and fell down with a knock,
And feeling quite dizzy,
He quickly got busy,
For he no longer had writers block!
Thanks guys! I can't think up any rhymes or limericks at the moment, so I'll just change the entire tune of this thread and leave you all with...
Halloween is in the air, in the air, in the air... hmjfym
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 210,222 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
I, once, knew a VAMPIRE, afraid, of the DARK,
Instead, of The BAT, He turned, into a LARK;
Serious Skills, were, LACKING,
Whenever, He was, ATTACKING;
He'd, Apologize: "Oops! That'll leave a MARK!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire bat,
Who lived under Dracula's hat,
In a friendship complex,
They'd hunt for plump necks,
Whilst chatting about this and that!
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 210351 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, Named, CLEM,
Who was, Troubled, by an Obvious PROBLEM;
Instead, of Eating BRAINS,
Or, Other, Ghastly, REMAINS;
He, only, Relished, the Taste, of PHLEGM!
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 210,599 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
NEW YEAR'S DAY, is, like, MOMENTS, AWAY,
TWENTY-SIXTEEN, FINALLY, Fades, to GREY;
Another Year, OLDER,
To Add, to My FOLDER;
As the Cold, gets, Colder, Add a 2nd TOUPEE!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
still have computer problems. >:( :(
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 210,770 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
How, Swiftly, broke DAWN, This MORNING,
It came, about, Without, Any, WARNING;
The VAMPIRES, All, SCARED,
Were, Totally, UNPREPARED;
The Few, Who Survived, did the MOURNING!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Van Gogh showed his love with an ear,
While the Frankenstein monster had a leer,
So it's out with the tragic old,
And about time truth be told,
So many fine people died this last year.
I wish all the members of the UMA a most joyous new year.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 211,017 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
The Final Day, of This Old Year, is PAST,
Flipping, Us, over, to a New One, at LAST;
For, All, We've Loved & LOST,
We are, Counting, the COST;
As, Ever, unto This New Day, We are WED.
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 211,022 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
I Write, This, with My BRIDE and I, SICK,
I'm, still, Wrestling, One, More, LIMERICK;
LIVING, Sans, FEAR,
In a HAPPY, NEW YEAR;
Our Wish, for, You, ALL, so, make Your PICK!
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 211,055 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
The Final Day, of This Old Year, is PAST,
Flipping, Us, over, to a New One, at LAST;
For, All, We've Loved & LOST,
We are, Counting, the COST;
A Part & Parcel, of our Fortune, AMASSED.
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 211,277 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA evinced a Strange APPETITE,
In AMERICA, out and about, for The NIGHT;
He'd, heard, of WHITE CASTLE,
& bought, for Himself, a PASSEL;
After Eating, his Gut, was a Big, Gassy, FRIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 211,444 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY, THE VAMPIRE and THE GHOUL,
Were, Each, in Desperate Need, of Their 'FUEL';
MUMMY Drank TANA-LEAF TEA,
VAMPIRE said: "BLOOD, for ME";
And, THE GHOUL found His own 'COFFIN GRUEL'!
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 211,599 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~~ thrhrt
A Huge, Vile, BAT, flew, through My WINDOW,
Then, as a Cloudy MIST, began, to BILLOW;
Terror, as The VAMPIRE FORM,
Solidified, within My ROOM;
So, I Staked, It, with a Garlic-Coated DILDO!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 211,912 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
JAPANESE MONSTERS, Always, seem, to GROW,
We, can't, Tell, whether, They're Friend, or, FOE;
But, Anything, that, BIG,
Makes Me, Flip, My WIG;
'Specially, at Night, when You can Watch'em GLOW!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a Vampire from Derry,
Who drank just to feel light and merry,
Whose favourite blood,
He'd find down the pub,
Where the ladies all tasted of Sherry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The parents of Hansel and Gretel had an itch,
So decided to lose them near a deep ditch,
When the woods grew dark,
They tore through the bark,
And nearly ended up as supper for the witch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 212,012 times)
ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed
THE BURGOMEISTER, Yelled: "STOP!"
As THE MONSTER, Fled, from the COPS;
In the GRAVEYARD, He HID,
But, 1st, Fell, &, then, SLID;
Into a Freshly-Dug Grave, with a "PLOP!"
ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Creature got fed up with the lagoon,
So decided to leave at the next high noon,
All those years without so much as a cut,
Led to him being out of breath and a beer gut,
What he needed now was a lady to sit under the Moon.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 212,127 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA won His Renown, as a WARRIOR,
Times changed, and, now, He's, just, SORRIER;
Where He "Hit The SKIDS",
Was, all, those Wives & KIDS;
Which 'Drove Him BATS' & made Him a WORRIER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 212,212 times)
>:( ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;)
I'm, Certain, there are, Some, quite, SUSPICIOUS,
'Pon seeing 'The Number, Above', So, AUSPICIOUS;
All, Two's, One's and TWO'S,
So, Break, Out, THE BOOZE;
Drink, a TOAST, to the LIMERICKS! DEEE-LICIOUS!
>:( ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 212,222 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
Why, 'tis, only, ONE HUNDRED, AWAY,
It shouldn't, take, More, than, a DAY;
I think it's Big NEWS,
To 'Line Up', All, TWOS;
For, now, that's, all, I'm going, to SAY.
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 212,222 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ :'(
Apparently, My MATH has been, a Bit, FLAWED,
My NUMBERS were, Way, WRONG, how, ODD!
To Arrive, at, All, TWOS,
I hate, giving Bad NEWS;
We'll need 10,000 More Reads, Just, BECAUSE!
:'( ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire from Mars.
Who liked to hang out in local bars.
No matter who he drank.
His breath was still rank.
Thus he said in his candid memoirs.
There once was a Zombie from New York
Who ate his brains with a knife and fork.
He was not a slob
But was a known snob.
Plus was kosher and didn't eat pork.
Henry Frankenstein berated poor old Igor,
Over the brain switch near the lecture door,
Never do it again or you'll feel the pain,
If I have to set the monster without restrain,
It'll be your last time among all the gore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's no such thing as ghosts I said,
As the creaking came from the stairs.
That breathing sound is just the wind,
I'm too old for childish fears.
I must have put the keys in the oven,
It's an easy mistake to make.
And those pots that fell in the dead of night,
Were caused by a mini earthquake.
That figure I saw in the corner of my eye,
Was merely a trick of the light.
And that sharp prod that I felt in my back,
Could have only been a flea bite.
A cat or a fox must have crept in the house,
And torn the bedsheets to rags.
And I'll try to ignore that unearthly laugh,
While I hurriedly pack up my bags.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ tynhrt
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 212,400 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :o
Dear FLOWER Returns, with Her STUNNING WIT,
Irish TV HORROR, with MORE, Gives, US, FITS;
Then, with POETIC SONG,
Comes, LONG LIVE KONG;
YOU, THREE, are, CREATIVELY, CRUSHING IT!!!
:o ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an odd ghost named Barry.
Who haunted my dear cousin Larry.
He didn't harangue
But chains he did clang.
Annoying an old troll named Harry.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 212,522 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile
The Rabid ZOMBIE bit, into My SHOULDER,
I Feel, like, Calling, SCULLY And MULDER;
'Tis a Hard Fact, to BEAR,
"The Truth, is, out, THERE";
With My Brain & My Blood, turning, COLDER!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As a kid E.C comics were quite famous and rare,
I remember my friends asking me as a dare,
Rotten zombies or the odd axe split head,
Nothing beat the return of the living dead,
Gone are the greats of that art but not my childish stare.
My salute to the great artist's of the E.C stable.
I've always had a softness for Basil Rathbone,
Even when he was Sherlock and used the phone,
While working at Universal,
He had a bit of a reversal,
And played Frankenstein with a chill to the bone.
There once was a tall Zombie from Amman.
Who claimed to be related to the Khan.
He had a schnozzle.
Big as a nozzle.
That he used to find brainy Hassan.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 212,702 times)
:) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:(
Things, REALLY, began, to get, HAIRY,
As HOUDINI Disappeared, with LARRY;
The FULL MOON, AROSE,
We know, how, This GOES;
Tomorrow, another, poor, Fool, to BURY.
:) ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Since 1933 they have searched for a new Kong,
Travelling to Skull island is so very wrong,
Why don't they leave him in peace,
To roam until his final release,
While the natives sound the dinner gong.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 212,777 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
Please, don't, Consign this LIMERICK, to SPAM,
Or, of This Page, say: "One, more, Pun, to CRAM;
My BRAIN is, at WORK,
'Tho', I might be a JERK;
It's, more, than: "Wham, Bam, Thank, You, MA'AM!
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Mike
Who wanted a fast motor bike.
He thought it a real blast,
To for once to go fast.
But he was told to ''Take a hike''
There once was a zombie named Gray.
Who lurked in the alleyway.
He was a big creep.
We buried him deep.
And told all that he moved away.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 212,912 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S Brides are WELL-ENDOWED,
Which, Proves, Helpful, to Draw a Vast CROWD;
I'll tell, You, No, LIE,
Fang, is, quicker, than EYE,
Big Increase, in THE UNDEAD, did, Him, PROUD!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Finn.
Who was buried across from the Inn.
One day he did rise,
And as a surprise.
Bought us all a large tonic and gin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ededed~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Frankenstein's Monster Recipe.
Take a gentleman's torso freshly dug up, pluck the eyes from a beggar down on his luck.
Steal the legs of a soldier cut down in his youth, snatch the arms of a thief from the hangman's noose.
Find the corpse of a genius and lop off it's head (If there's none at the morgue use a madman's instead).
Carve the heart from a peasant, cut the lungs from a lad, then pickle them quickly before they turn bad.
Make a stich here, screw some bolts there. Use lightening sucked from the cold midnight air.
Now behold your creation with spirited pride, and scream out aloud "IT'S ALIVE, IT'S ALIVE!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ededed~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fritz liked to give the monster a little shove,
He tried to force through the doors alcove,
Why won't you ever heed me,
I don't ask much while you are free,
The master wants you in the tower above.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 213,013 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :angel:
How, Fitting, that, on FRIDAY, 13th,
The 'READS' Tabulate, to the ENTH;
1, More, Reason, to WRITE,
As My Fancy takes FLIGHT;
&, Once, Again, I Hit, for the FENCE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I just figured out I'm a changed man,
I may be split but not a fancy Dan,
Sure I've kicked a few on the ground,
But later in the pub it is drinks all round,
I still think my Hyde is Irish and that's grand.
Get out the fireworks so we can celebrate,
The Limericks were started by that reprobate,
Packy 300 pages ago on a whim,
So we have to blame someone him,
For these long years at this going rate.
Happy 300th to all the members of the Limerick thread whether they be living or undead.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 213,092 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
Very, Strange, Beings: VAMPIRE LEPRECHAUNS,
So, small, They blend, seamlessly, into the LAWN;
Most, Oft, Mistaken, for FLEAS,
Leave Fang-Marks, on your KNEES;
As They Re-Sole Your Shoes, &, Gone, at DAWN!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
CONGRATULATIONS ON 300 UMA PAGES OF LIMERICKS!
(http://imageshack.com/a/img922/6819/0qIOoH.gif)
Usually while walking home I use a bit of a trot,
Pass the graveyards or some other creepy spot,
Thinking that some body snatcher is lurking,
Ready to pounce with his hand Burkeing,
Burke and Hare and their new friend Mike Scott.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 213,132 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ ;D
WE'VE Done It! PAY DIRT, &, "All, That ROT",
Plugged, away, Butchered, many, a Foul BLOT;
Filling, up, 3-HUNDRED PAGES,
Required Many Limerick SAGES;
& 1 Pyromaniac, Whom, We, Love: MIKE SCOTT!
;D ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire from Cathay.
Who really wanted to move to Bombay.
He asked a boffin
To ship his coffin
Which customs opened on a midsummer's day.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 213,231 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
We'll, Soon, Leave, Page 300, in Our WAKE,
More, Pun-Proofs, to appear, We're No FAKE;
As, Films, of Olde UNIVERSAL,
Up, to, Now, just, REHEARSAL;
Cue, the ORCHESTRA, to Play: "SWAN LAKE"!
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I've been scratching my dual head,
Wondering about the king of the thread,
Who would win this precious honour,
As I've seen his name on the banner,
It's Baron Tim with 300 pages read.
There once was a gremlin named Brooke.
Her face looked just like a snook.
One day at dawn,
She had her spawn.
Both are too ugly. Do not look!
There once was a Werewolf named Dwight,
Who would goad other monsters to fight,
Then during a duel,
He was killed by a Ghoul,
For his bark was much worse than his bite!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 213,373 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ hmjfym
I, too, Sing the PRAISES, of Our TV HORROR,
Eh, Wot? Did someone call Him, "SCHNORRER"?
To, some, He's, "ALL WET",
Yet, He's {YETI'S} a UMA VET;
"Hail, Fellow, Well, Met!" W/o Him, we're POORER!
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Now that my inflated head feels all swell,
The Baron made me proud where I dwell,
I remember Meek aka Linda the librarian,
Unknown primate aka Mark the libertarian,
Gone but not forgotten and that's swell.
I toast them all our absent friends including Sean and others who have gone to that monster filled paradise. CHEERS and thanks for your company.
The creepy old crone has returned.
And all in our town are concerned.
She is more scary,
Than crazy Mary.
We pray that our fears are unearned.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 213,513 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
THE UMA, Truly, has Some, Great, 'LOST LOVES',
The MONSTERS & THEM were HAND-IN-GLOVE;
MEEK, MARK & SEAN,
'Tho', Physically, GONE;
We Believe, that, They Dwell, EVERNOW, ABOVE!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Kay.
Who went after my brother Jay Jay.
Before she could even start.
He put a stake in her heart.
Now he's looking for others to slay.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 213,713 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA was Livid; Totally, DISGRUNTLED,
Whilst He watched His CRYPT being DISMANTLED;
"There are, few, Things, I RUE,
As much, as This, which, I DO!"
The DAYLIGHT poured, in, into Dust, He CRUMBLED.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 213,800 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE YETI got, up, EARLY, MORNING,
To CELEBRATE The FROST WARNING;
"We think, it's, so, NICE,
To have SNOW and ICE;
In Summer, We go, into MOURNING!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We are all afraid of the Old Crone.
She is mean and evil to the bone.
With zombies she dwells,
And casts vicious spells.
Thus now we live in a danger zone.
Dracula was at the end of his tether,
No one feared him that much either,
So his money he got from the bank,
And went and bought a brand new tank,
Now we'll see some stormy weather.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 213,950 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ >:D ~~~~~ ededed
Doc Frankenstein's creation needed a BRAIN,
So, he sent FRITZ, to fetch one, in the RAIN;
The Good Brain, He COPPED,
Fell, and, got 'PLOPPED';
So, FRITZ took the one, marked "INSANE"!
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ >:D ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Too many visits from the Grim Reaper
Has turned me into a major weeper
Somewhere over rainbows
Is a place my heart knows
Where love lives and memories are deeper
There was a loud noise like a bump,
Who could it be to make this thump,
I've searched the house from top to cellar,
Found nothing maybe it was the previous dweller,
They seemed a nice couple but who is this Trump?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 214,124 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
I said, to that Weird Spook, THE GRIM REAPER,
"Jeepers, Creepers, wheredya get those PEEPERS?!"
"They're Dark, &, yet, GLOWING,
You move, like, a BOEING;
You work, for Free, it couldn't get, any, CHEAPER!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jace.
Who said this world was a scary place.
With that grump
Donald Trump.
We see the end of the human race.
Dracula asked the waiter for the house phone,
I've got an important message and watch your tone,
Look mate I'm English and sore,
And you're a bit of a bore,
So here's your check that'll leave you prone.
Satan was outside screaming and yelling.
We won't buy the crap he was selling.
Either the clown named Ronald
Or the evil one Donald.
Both options are extremely repelling.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 214,422 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym
TODAY contains A BIG BUNCH, of TWOS,
The Poor MUMMY was 'SINGING THE BLUES';
"FOLKS Think, Me, MAD,
But, I'm, really, just, SAD;
I Loved a Woman, but, She was, BAD NEWS!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 214,514 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :angel:
I, once, Caught a WILD, ZOMBIE, TROUT,
IT Tried, to bite, Me, as I pulled, It, OUT;
So, for the Sake, of a PUN,
I produced My WEAPON;
Then, Butchered, It, Removing, All, DOUBT!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Rick
He had a sister, an Umglick
They were both crazy
So very lazy.
And ate dirty brains off a stick
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 214,599 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
I Yelled: "Don't get Your BRAIN, in a STEW!"
The ZOMBIE replied: "But, what, if, I DO?!"
The Vampire, VEIN-DRAINER,
Said: "Duh! A NO-BRAINER!"
On hearing, that, The ZOMBIE, WITHDREW!
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I had a little hunch back at the office,
Yes his name is Igor that should suffice,
He does his job and works hard,
I pay him little as he's a bit of a card,
And he won't even pour the oil from the precipice.
There once was a vampire named Neal.
Who was looking for a travel deal.
He searched for a boat.
As coffins don't float.
And settled upon the S.S. Beal.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 214,755 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Things looked, so, Bleak, for The VAMPIRE,
Caught, in Her Coffin, Trapped, by the FIRE;
Explosive and MEAN,
Some Added GASOLINE;
And... In, THREE! TWO! ONE! BAM!! PYRE!!!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a fatty troll named Midge.
Who lived in grande style under the ridge.
She would often jump out.
And loudly scream and shout.
"You all keep your hands out of my fridge."
There was an old sea dog named Stu,
Who bit off more than he could chew,
When he peered from his deck,
And screamed "what the heck?!"
For he'd snagged the almighty Cthulhu!"
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 214,959 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
That Despicable, Olde, VAMPIRE, SIR REGINALD,
One Night, from His Decaying CRYPT, CRAWLED;
Removed His CRAVAT,
&, Turned, into a BAT;
Flew, Too, Low, &, by a WEREWOLF, got MAULED!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 215,055 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
Remember 'Weird Fred', the HOMUNCULUS?
Lord 'Av Mercy, He was an Orn'ry Old CUSS;
A case, of Diminutive EVIL,
Not, unlike, the Boll WEEVIL;
'Til, He got blind-sided, & crushed, by a BUS.
Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We looked out and saw the bloody gook.
Brains left rotting by that Zombie, Brooke.
They began to stink
Attracting a mink.
Who gave them away, 'What a crook!'
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 215,152 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
A 'SHOUT, OUT', to My Older Brother, MIKE,
He Proves, Stayin' Alive is, like, Riding a BIKE;
It, all, Starts, to BLEND,
At 3-SCORE And TEN;
So, 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' and 1 Million 'LIKES'!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Kevin.
Who longed to go and live in Heaven.
"I really am good"
"And misunderstood"
On the wait list he is number seven.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 215,430 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :o
JANUARY, Quickly, COMES, to ITS CLOSE,
So, CLOSE, that, It's A HEAD, by a NOSE;
WINTER Is SCARY,
Up, Next: FEBRUARY;
In Describing IT, I Get, REALLY, VERBOSE!
:o ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 215,599 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
I Loosed, an Arrow, from My QUIVER,
To Slay that WEREWOLF, GULLIVER;
SILVER ARROW-HEAD,
It Pierced, Him, DEAD;
For Loved Ones, from Him, to DELIVER.
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 215,777 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA said, to THE MUMMY:
"How about a Game, of GIN RUMMY?"
"No, thanks, I don't DRINK,
Nor, am I, Dumb, as you think;
You meant: 'A Drink, of Gin, DUMMY!'"
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 215,800 times)
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Alien
Remember, THOR? Norse God, of THUNDER?
More, than, I bargained, for, Fatal BLUNDER;
He told My Girl a JOKE,
Then, went, for BROKE;
When, all, was Said & Done... He PUNNED 'ER!
:o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Alien
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie so gaudy
Everyone thought he was a Saudi.
He was a nut
With a big butt
And brains piled high in his Audi
There once was a goblin named Jack.
Who haunted our dear cousin Mack.
We found an old spell.
And all is now well.
The evil is heading right back.
Although it is only marked on the map with a dot,
The house seems large but not free from rot,
So it's off to the Marsden house I'm bound,
Though I've been told Hubie is still hanging around,
Where did you say this place was oh that's right Salems lot
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 215,888 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES, Wantonly, Attacked The PARTY,
Desiring, to Dine, on a Menu, so, Hale & HEARTY;
Before, it, came, to BLOWS,
They followed Their NOSE;
Ran, Away, to Avoid GARLIC hors d'oeuvres 'FARTIES'!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Ray.
Who didn't have a whole lot to say.
He'd give them a wink.
Drink their blood like ink.
Then toss them off the end of the quay.
Hurrah we are getting a new movie of Kong,
Fay Wray when she saw him broke out in song,
With a very loud mighty howler,
Cutting deep into his back molar,
An infection set in giving him a breath with a pong.
There once was a warlock from Guangzhou.
Who moved his family to Bordeaux.
They loved the sweet wine,
And places to dine.
But would still cast spells from a kowtow
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 215,999 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
TWO-FACED JANUS, Tonight, ends His REIGN,
Still, WINTER is, upon Us, driving, Us, INSANE;
Feel His Ice-Cold DROOL,
Old Man Winter's, No, FOOL;
A POPSICLE, for ZOMBIES: Our FROZEN BRAINS!
;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a young boy named Sal.
Who wanted a vampire best pal.
To sleep in a trunk.
Under his own bunk.
It didn't matter, guy or gal.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 216,055 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank:
VAMPIRE GROUNDHOGS are Attacking, TONIGHT,
For Fear, that, Tomorrow, might be, TOO, BRIGHT,
You might think, them, PUNY,
Just, like, MICKEY ROONEY;
As Their SHADOWS, cause, Them, Great FRIGHT!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
While he was soft spoken and had brains,
He loved to be in charge with the reins,
For you knew he was smart,
Right from the very start,
Who was this man but Mr Claude Rains.
Today is a very sad day.
Two years since dear Deuce went away.
The Rainbow Bridge called,
And we bawled and bawled.
Everyone wanted him to stay.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 216,199 times)
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
In, one, of His last, Major, Roles, He was BATS,
Yet, His Career spanned, Donning, Many, HATS;
His Epic, FRANKENSTEIN,
Ceased, for, Us, in 1969;
BORIS, HEAVEN-Called, as Young BILLY PRATT!
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Walt.
Only certain drunks he would assault.
He wasn't the ilk.
Who liked his milk.
Thus only attacked those that drank malt.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 216,390 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, SLIM,
Who appeared, to be, remarkably, DIM;
Using MIND-OVER-MATTER,
Made Attempts, to get, FATTER;
He wears a disguise, now, calls himself :"TIM"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There was a werewolf named Mitch,
Who fell head over heels for a Witch,
But feeling unease,
She conjured some fleas,
And sent him off with a terrible itch!
Last night, Zombies were screaming by our door.
Brainless ghouls, we won't take anymore.
We told our Pops.
Who called the cops.
Thus, they will soon be knocking them to the floor.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 216,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE "Tasted" The ZOMBIE, for FLAVOR,
The ZOMBIE, with Curiosity, Returned, the FAVOR;
GENETIC ENGINEERING,
What We're, All, FEARING;
CROSS-OVER MONSTERS, New Concept, to SAVOR!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy named Bald Burke.
He was very tall and a real jerk.
Looking like a geek
Not a royal sheik.
As he shrieked, yelled and went berserk.
I wondered what the day would bring,
Sitting on my outside porch swing,
So decided to watch some television,
But that proved to be a wrong decision,
For all I got was the girl from the Ring.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 216,700 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA, was, Livid, at RENFIELD'S BETRAYAL,
RENFIELD, Sorry, Begged, his Master, for JAIL;
"For your Heinous CRIME,
You'll be given, No, TIME!"
Then, &, There, Decided, RENFIELD, to IMPALE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Billy.
Who made a deal with wealthy old Tilly.
He said "Listen Honey"
"I don't want money"
Just some blood from your sweet niece, meek Milly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 217,077 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ :blank:
THE WOLF MAN, Roamed, out, among the TREES,
On the Foggy, Moon-Lit, Moor, began, to SNEEZE;
Found, out, He was, ALLERGIC,
To that ACID LYSERGIC,
A Colorful TRIP, which, He shared, with His FLEAS!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 217,157 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
That Evil LEPRECHAUN, named, FERGUS,
Attended a MOTORCYCLE RALLY, in STURGIS;
To Drink & Make WAVES,
Hangin', with Sexy BABES;
Which occurred, on the Night, of WALPURGIS!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The evil PAINo was stealing some trash.
We hope that she gets a nasty old rash.
She is scary
Killed our Mary.
It is hoped that she and her broom shall crash.
For those many thousands of years,
The Mummy was wrapped to his ears,
As he lay under those stars so bright,
Waiting then on that one fateful night,
He went for a little walk leaving poor Ralph in tears.
The zombie woman is a creep.
When she dies. none of us will sweep.
She is the sinner,
Who took our spinner.
Brainless trash! We shall bleep, bleep, bleep.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 217,477 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
At a BAR, a Man, fell, for a Lovely VAMPIRE,
Looked, so, Human, with drinks, He did PLY 'ER;
Not, what, He'd EXPECT,
His 'Plan', lacked, EFFECT;
He learned, from Her, that, He'd Played, with FIRE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We saw the zombie out in the cold.
Even then we could detect the mold.
Rotting brains do smell.
And the bells now knell.
For justice as in the days of old.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 217,577 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-\ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :o
FEBRUARY is, Tonight, reduced, by a THIRD,
As, if, Winging, away, like, a BAT, or, a BIRD;
'Tis, kind, of, a BUMMER,
This INDIAN SUMMER;
Really, it's WINTER! I give, You, my WORD!
:o ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-\ ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
While the old witch was plotting my doom,
I decided to creep across the darkened room,
As she sat cackling from where she was sitting,
Stirring her brew under the dismal lighting,
She spotted me and hit me on the head with her broom.
The zombie, our vampire and the witch,
Were all trapped together in a ditch.
Drac said "What the heck?'
And went for her neck.
Until she sent him flying to Greenwich.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 217,817 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES, Amassed, Looked, Very, TRIBAL,
Filled, with the Raucous SOUNDS, of a REVIVAL;
The Evil Plan, They MADE,
Too, soon, began, to FADE;
As Their Enemies used HOLY WATER & THE BIBLE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Woke up this morning, and what do know?
Paino the witch is buried under snow.
A being so cozen,
We hope she's frozen.
And zombies eat her brains. Cool sideshow!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 217,977 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
We Knew, and, LOVED, a GREAT MAN, Dear, UNCLE, FORRY,
He'd "Whip, Up", MONSTER-KIDS, just, like, Making POT-POURI;
He turned, Us, into FIENDS,
Vis-à-vis His Fine MAGAZINE;
Not, to be Gory: Forry went, to His Glory, thus, ends, My STORY!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Casper was feeling depressed one night being a ghost,
He went out for a walk and stood under the lamp post,
Oh why can't I find a true friend,
Even one who would pretend,
Suddenly he saw Wendy waving for him to join their roast.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 218,118 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :blank:
We discovered, a MUMMY, Who, is TWO-FACED;
In an unmarked Sarcophagus, by Chains, ENCASED;
"I've shed, enough, TEARS,
Over Three Thousand YEARS;
Knowing the Truth, of my History, has been ERASED!"
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The witch and the zombie started to rant.
A red faced PAINo yelled her crazy chant.
"I don't give a druthers,
About the rights of others."
We wish she would get a needed brain transplant.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 218,581 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
FRIDAY, THE THIRTEENTH, Fell, on a MONDAY,
In THE UMA, it's, Always, considered, A FUN DAY;
A Curse, NEVER-ENDING,
O' Verses, MIND-BENDING;
Go, for Broke, on a Joke, JEST, 1, More, PUN, EH?!
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
On Valentine's Day, we expected hearts.
But received Zombie and foul witchy farts.
It is mean and unfair.
And more than we can bear.
So we are now flying off to St. Barts.
Count Dracula awakened with a start,
Someone is taking the place apart,
As it was soon Valentine's day,
He would have to keep them at bay,
For he feared a stake through his heart.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 219,319 times)
:-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ ededed
I Love this Holiday, of ST. VALENTINE'S,
Giving Flowers, Chocolate & Fine WINE;
Shot, by CUPID'S ARROW,
Thrills Me, to the MARROW;
Most, Other, Days, I'm FRANKENSTEIN!
:-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 219,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA, Harshly, did RENFIELD, BERATE,
"Your JOB: to Protect Me, from a Dire FATE;
Don't make, like, KING TUT,
Get, off, Your Lazy BUTT;
Every Dawn, to Go, Out, and, Lock The GATE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Mandy.
Who longed for some nice flowers and candy.
She received a heart.
From her buddy Art.
And shared his brains with Zombie Randy.
There once was a zombie named Billy.
Who wanted to move down to Chile.
His reasons were dicey.
Craving brains more spicy.
Visa rejected! Just too silly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 220,392 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, MILLIE,
'Lived', just, west, of the CIRCUS, of PICCADILLY;
She grew, rather, FAT,
As a Famous ACRO-BAT;
And, She gave, all, of Her Victims "The WILLIES"!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 220,400 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
I Remember, The Lovely VAMPIRE, named, MILLIE,
Who thrived, on the Blood, of her Love, Odd BILLIE;
They had a Nasty SPAT,
She fed, Him, to the RATS;
His Skeleton, still, gives Her Victims "The WILLIES"!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 220,414 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
That Sultry VAMPIRESS, called 'CHILLY MILLIE',
Loved, to give, all, of Her Victims "WET WILLIES";
Her Spittle brought FEAR,
To many a Frightened EAR;
So, Their Crazed Owners, ran, off, WILLY-NILLY!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a fairy named Petal.
Who floated from nettle to nettle.
She found a bright flower,
And used all her power,
To make it her home and resettle.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 220,522 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :-*
THE CREATURE Loves that VAMPIRE, named, MILLIE,
When She saw Him, She exclaimed: "WHAT A DILLY!"
He's, now, Her Favorite DISH,
She was, always, partial, to FISH;
And, to date, no one says this Odd Pairing is "SILLY"!
:-* ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 220,590 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD commenced, to Scream, SHRILLY,
As He was attacked, by the VAMPIRE, MILLIE,
"He won't be the SAME,"
She said, without BLAME;
"I'll drop His Bloodless Remains, upon PHILLY"!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There was a Werewolf named Louise,
Who lived under constant unease,
With howls of despair,
She'd claw at her fur,
For the mangy old pooch suffered fleas!
There once was a vampire named Rosie.
Who was gossipy and very nosey.
She knew all the ropes.
As she watched the soaps.
So she blackmailed Zombie re his Posey.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 220,690 times)
:-* ~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~ tynhrt
They are BLOOD-RELATIONS, ROSIE & MILLIE,
Always, Enjoying, Their EXTRA-FRESH KILLY;
Going, through, Every KNIGHT,
Taking a VERY, LARGE, BITE;
Known, for Ferociousness: "GOING GODZILLY"!
:-* ~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 220,770 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
There, once, was a FAERIE, named, PETAL,
Who danced the Night, away, to Heavy METAL;
She was a Bright STAR,
Who played Air GUITAR;
And, Sang, in a Trio, with HANSEL & GRETEL!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies and the vampires lurk.
Hiding in our bushes with a smirk.
What can they see?
Cats as they pee?
Or deranged witches dancing the Jerk?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 220,820 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
That VAMPIRE SINGER, sure, is a Cute FILLY,
Strictly, from HUNGARY, where, it's, very, HILLY;
She, seems, so, NICE,
But, Heart, Cold, as, ICE;
Even BLACULA Insults Her as:"MILLIE VANILLI"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 220,942 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, TILLIE,
Oft-confused, with Her Blood-Sister, MILLIE;
Like, something, out, of POE,
They, followed the same M.O.;
Except, She dressed, in outfits, more, FRILLY!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie that I'll call "Paul"
He was creepy, scary and very tall.
It may sound silly,
But witchy Milly,
Placed a spell that locked him in a kraal.
Excuse me young man are you going my way,
I'm new here in London and afraid of an affray,
Don't worry my man,
I may be a fancy Dan,
But you'll be safe on the streets with Dorian Gray.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 221,081 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA finds BLOOD, His Unholy ELIXIR,
By Its subtle Scent, It's the way, that, He PICKS 'ER;
When held, by His CHARM,
They come, to, No, HARM;
Make a Woman, UN-DEAD?! "That's, 'ow, I FIX 'ER!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 221,122 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
There, once, was a MONSTER, named, WARD,
Who, 'tho', Beaten, by BORIS, to Play MORD;
From The Tower Of LONDON,
Runs THE UMA'S PUNDOM;
Plies his Pundit craft, both, Back & FORWARD!
:o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Last night the zombies were very loud.
Yelling and cursing at our home crowd.
We kicked them in the rump,
And sent them off to Trump.
They are his followers, much avowed.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 221,252 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
THE WEREWOLF OF LONDON felt, OLD,
A Cast-Away, thrown, out, in the COLD;
"You can't snuff My LIGHT,
Not, without a Big FIGHT!"
But, His Ending was, Sadly, FORETOLD!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Brenda the shy vampire wrote a blog,
About attacking victims in dense fog.
No looking in their eyes
Or telling them sweet lies.
She would drain them quickly and fly off to Prague.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 221,444 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym
IM-HOTEP Stood, beneath the FULL MOON,
"So, many, I've missed, stuck, in this TOMB;
No Need, now, to TALK,
I'll, just, Go, for a WALK;
Then, get rid, of this SAND, with a BROOM!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Crizwell may have been a losey swami,
But Ed Wood was far from being barmy,
All I know is he gave Lugosi a chance,
With Tor and Vampira a fine romance,
As aliens bent on World dominance Cor blimey
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 221,592 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
We Stand, upon the Shoulders, of GIANTS,
Then, fall, into a Field, of Soft PLANTS;
LIFE, Full, of Ups & DOWNS,
Of MONSTERS & CLOWNS;
Remember: HERE, We, All, are MIGRANTS.
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We were reading the new "Zombie Files"
About the spawn called "Big Nosed Miles"
It was ugly as sin,
And tossed in the bin.
Now the goblins are all big smiles.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 221,700 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN Bought, Much, PLASTIC SURGERY,
His Monies made, from Illegal Practice, of BURGLARY;
In His New Face, "Got BUSTED",
He could, not, be, TRUSTED;
The Court condemned His Reliance, upon PERJURY!
ededed ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 221,812 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a Vampire, named, RUTH,
Who was 'ALLERGIC', to telling The TRUTH;
Pretended, to BE,
Just, like, You & ME;
For Her Lies, 'Paid The Price', in DULUTH.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
{Now, she LIES, there, permanently... well, at least, her ashes do.}
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Georgie the vampire liked to schmooze.
Almost as much as he loved his booze.
At a tiny slight,
He would start to fight.
As blood was shed, he'd drink, then snooze.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 221,922 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
ERIK was THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA,
Invisible, saw CHRISTINE remove Her BRA,
Her Tattoo, He SAW,
Was, of Old AMUN RA;
With a Phrase, above It:"QUE SERA, SERA"!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I must introduce you to a gentleman you'll agree,
He has been an actor for decades as you will see,
Of the many parts he has played,
There is one that is always displayed.
That is Count Dracula with Sir Christopher Lee.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 222,022 times)
>:( ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was an Evil TROLL, BRUCE,
Who lived, Under an old, BLUE SPRUCE;
They found His REMAINS,
From Robbing a TRAIN;
On the Tracks, Killed, by the CABOOSE!
>:( ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Raj was a Genie who lived in a lamp.
It was cold, lonely, dark and damp.
He wish for a goil,
And got Olive Oyl.
Just what he needed, a fun skinny vamp.
There once was a troll called 'Tiny Neal'
Who would beg, borrow and from us ... steal.
It wasn't right!
He stole the light.
And in the darkness he waits to deal.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 222,222 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
Destroying a VAMPIRE: STAKE & SHAKE,
Dispatching a ZOMBIE: BIG HEADACHE;
WEREWOLVES: A-QUIVER,
To Hear: " HI-HO, SILVER!"
MUMMIES, in NILE Flooding: MUD-CAKES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 222,392 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
T-REX had Attacked His "NEXT DINNER",
Hungry, with No Desire, to get THINNER;
His one, small, MISTAKE,
Went, far, beyond, "ACHE";
His Giant Ape 'Victim' will be The WINNER!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Wilford the wolfman was so furry.
But his vision was very blurry.
He would stop the lasses.
And ask for their glasses.
So he could find his way to Surrey.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 222,522 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES are NOTORIOUS CREATURES,
Having a Couple, of Distinguishing FEATURES;
Their Pallor & BLACK CAPE,
That Their "Wannabes" APE;
& Fangs, as They say: "Pleased, to MEETCHA!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 222,622 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
The YETI drove His Iceberg, GIGANTIC,
Into that poor Steamship, THE TITANIC;
In the Blink, of an EYE,
Many did, Cry, &, DIE;
Pandemonium ensued! FRANTIC PANIC!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie came home all crazy, and did shout.
That he hated us and wanted us out.
So we whacked his frame,
Thus now he is lame,
And can only hobble brainlessly about.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 222,732 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named WILLIE,
Who desired, to bite, that VAMPIRE, MILLIE;
But, try, as He MIGHT,
She,'d always, take FLIGHT;
So, He lost Hope, of VAMPIRE-BRAIN CHILI!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Chang.
Who had a crush on Jessica Lange.
In every movie,
She was so groovy.
He yearned for her hot blood in Shenyang.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 222,888 times)
;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
We enter This Magical Month, of MARCH,
LEPRECHAUNS, abound, full, of STARCH;
Pot, o' Gold, Emerald VIEW,
Satisfaction, an Irish BREW;
So, Your Lips & WITS won't be PARCHED!
;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
While Zombie was shaking his fist.
He didn't see the cops in the mist.
They took him to jail.
There won't be bail.
And he'll have to learn to dance the twist.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 223,123 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
O' RILEY, O' THE WEE FOLK, met The VAMPIRE,
Cast, a GAELIC Curse, on IT, increasing ITS IRE;
The Angered BAT, FLEW,
At "YOU KNOW WHO";
But, The LEPRECHAUN, Calmly, set, IT, on FIRE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 223,132 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE SHOE-MAKER ELVES Demand a LIVING WAGE,
Before THEY Consent, THEIR TRADE, To ENGAGE;
THEY Labour, By FAIR MEASURE,
"Craft, Created; Worth TREASURE."
This Principle, Only, Skin-Flint VAMPIRES, ENRAGE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 223,142 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ u6juu ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE VAMPIRES, upon Victims, were CHOWING,
THE WEREWOLF, on His Prey, was CLAWING;
Truly, Not, a Good DAY,
When Evil, Holds, SWAY
And, DORIAN GRAY, His Portrait, is DRAWING!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ u6juu ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Soon will be the time of little green men.
We might see one, or we might just see ten.
Leprechauns they are called.
Many are very bald.
Under bright green hats, dancing in the fen.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 223,523 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
Official UMA LEPRECHAUN, Brother MAURICE,
As a MONSTER-KID, is Our GOLDEN FLEECE;
A LIMERICK TERROR,
Our Dear TV HORROR;
Nobody's Perfect, so, upon IRELAND, PEACE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 223,688 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
Evil, cannot, always, hold full SWAY,
Darkness fades, in the Light, of DAY;
I can rejoice a long WHILE,
In my Birthday Girl's SMILE;
For Today, is Beloved Beth's BIRTHDAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 223,822 times)
>:D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
There, once, was a STRANGE BEING, named, MITCH,
Whom the Locals Feared; Sure, that, He was a WITCH;
"Odd Things" would HAPPEN,
When MITCH started ZAPPIN';
'Til Great TREASURE appeared & made them, all, RICH!
>:D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 223,992 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
I, once, knew a VAMPIRE, named SHELLEY,
Whose CRYPT, was, Offensively, SMELLY;
"I've tossed the Rotted TREES,
Liberally, Sprayed The FEBREEZE;
Yet, it Stinks, like, the Shows, on the TELLY!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 224,042 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The Precious Hours, of Daylight, SLIP, BY,
Inevitable, Sunset and Nightfall, are, NIGH;
Comatose, in Their COFFINS,
UN-DEAD, silently, LAUGHING;
Slipping, out, for a BITE, makes, Us, CRY!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch named Mona.
Who didn't like old man Jonah.
So she cast a spell.
To send him to Hell.
But he took the bus to Corona.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 224,244 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
'Twas, in bright moonlight, out, on the LAWN,
I believe, that, I saw a dancing LEPRECHAUN;
Then, he knocks, at Me DOOR,
Says, to Me: "Mister, I'm SURE,
You'll buy Me Pot o' Gold, wot I needs to PAWN."
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The sad little green man was called Bennie.
And said that he would dance for just a penny.
He played a strange tune,
Dancing under the moon,
Until he was mugged by a gang of twenty.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 224,342 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
COUNT DRACULA "Took, To The SKY", NIGHTLY,
Spooking, All, of the Villagers, Quite, RIGHTLY;
Then, taking HUMAN FORM,
He Summoned a Great STORM;
Got "Zapped", by Lightning, none, too, POLITELY!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 224,522 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
I knew an odd Vampire, named CLARK,
Who opened His BAR, after DARK;
He thought it a JOKE,
To light, up, a SMOKE;
While He drank, which ignited a SPARK!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Norm.
Who liked to drain his victims while warm.
He'd give them a hug,
And when they were snug,
Suck them dry as the thunder would storm.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 224,712 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
OLD SNIVELY, the GHOST, was a BORE,
Spent His worthless Life robbing the POOR;
His death proved a SEQUEL,
To Life's "All Things Being EQUAL";
He was sent, to Haunt The EARTH'S CORE.
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 224,722 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIES left THE LEPRECHAUNS, CLUES,
To TRAP, Them, and, Keep, Them, CONFUSED;
Longing, to Eat Their BRAINS,
&, MAGIC, They hoped, to ATTAIN;
By Ingesting Their "Magically Delicious" STEWS!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 224,724 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
We'll throw a Grand Party, in TEN DAYS,
SAINT PATRICK'S will be a GREEN HAZE;
We're Pledging: "GOOD CHEER!"
With Our Annual GREEN BEER;
Corned-Beef LIMERICKS, Now & ALWAYS!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 224,844 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
That FEMALE WEREWOLF, LORETTA,
Had an Odd, Cheesy, Scent, like, FETA;
She lived, in the BOG,
Howled, like, a DOG,
'Til She was, Finally, Rescued, by PETA!
:blank: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Paino the witch climbed onto her broom.
She expected it to just go Zoom.
But it then took a spin.
And we had a big grin.
As she rocketed towards the moon.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 225,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The Sun, setting; on, comes The NIGHT,
I hear Evil BAT-WINGS, Taking FLIGHT;
Lock Doors and WINDOWS,
Keep Cross & Garlic, CLOSE;
Beware, THEIR Kiss, and, Nocturnal BITE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 225,102 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE, THOR, rose, on a THURSDAY,
Up, from His Coffin-Bed, Powerfully, THIRSTY;
At Crypt-door, to the NIGHT,
As He, nearly, took FLIGHT;
His VAMPIRE BRIDE, Spoke: "THOR, STAY!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie accosted our dear friend.
We wonder if this nonsense will ever end?
A brainless creature.
You can not teach her,
As the truth she doesn't comprehend.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 225,222 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY Shambled, into THE HERBAL STORE,
Intrigued, as He said: "I'd not been there, BEFORE;
They tried, to sell me, GRASS,
But, I said, 'I must PASS.'
For, I Ran, Out, of TANA-LEAF TEA & Need, MORE!"
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 225,355 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
NINE YEARS, of LIMERICKS Spewed, FORTH,
All, for the Sake, of a LITTLE UMA MIRTH;
In A Mere Seven DAYS,
We'll voice Our "HOORAYS!"
'Cause, We, all, Know, what, They're WORTH!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 225,505 times)
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER was SURROUNDED, by FIRE,
His SITUATION was, EXTREMELY, DIRE;
He Reviewed, All, His STATS,
Then, Remembered The BATS;
Snuffed, out, all, the FLAMES, with VAMPIRES!
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a sly odd Zombie named Beck.
Who went to a restaurant. What the heck?
Ordered brains ala carte,
But when they came apart,
He quickly left without paying his check.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 225,612 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The Stairway, in the old House, CREAKED,
And, the Roof, in this Storm, also, LEAKED;
'Twas, then, that, I SAW,
My Great-Great-GRANDPA;
As He Smiled, His FANGS made Me FREAK!
:o ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy named Carter.
Who decided that he would barter,
His old sheets
For some beets
But he ended up with a garter.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 225,712 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
We Remember the Horrid MUMMY, named, CARTER,
Achieved Infamy, as a Dangerous CROWD-PARTER;
He could drive Folks, AWAY,
With His "Vaporous SPRAY";
Undying Legend, a Toxic Rear-End: He's a FARTER!
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The leprechauns were dancing all night long.
Prancing about and singing this old song,
"Zombies are gray,
And witches gay."
We wonder if they had the lyrics wrong.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 225,852 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-*
A Fetching, Young, VAMPIRE, named, MYRTLE,
Although, UN-DEAD, still, relied, on Her GIRDLE;
DRACULA wooed Her, &, WON,
But, that Girdle?! Long, GONE;
Plus, She's proven, to be, Exceptionally, FERTILE!
:-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 225,875 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ;D
There was a Very Svelte VAMPIRE, Named, CARRIE,
Who'd attempted, to Woo & Seduce, MATA HARI;
She got Seduced, INSTEAD,
Boy! Did Her Face turn RED;
Thus, it came, to pass: She got Staked & BURIED!
:-* ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Peter.
Who loved to drink blood by the liter.
His victims were big,
Most fat as a pig.
He found them online, he was a tweeter.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 225,999 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ ededed
Calamity Strikes! FRIDAY, The 13th, on a MONDAY!
An Unwary Mob, Presses, on, led, by MRS. GRUNDY;
THE MONSTERS, AWAIT,
Us, to Fall, for Their BAIT;
Reap, Sad Consequence, for which, We'll, Long, PAY!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,091 times)
;) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :angel:
The Wily LEPRECHAUN went, out, to PLAY,
'Twas, past, Night-fall, in olde GALWAY;
He Wanted, to PRANK,
Yet, as, more, He DRANK;
He was rendered, unable, awake, to STAY.
;) ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ ??? ~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a leprechaun named Gilly.
Who was prone to do things that were silly.
It just wasn't right,
That he danced all night,
And then eloped with my great Aunt Tilly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,172 times)
8) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
In Deep, OUTER SPACE, The Brave CAPTAIN QUARK,
Found a NEW LIFE-FORM, which, Appears, to BARK;
Otherwise, quite, BLAND,
Yet, He saw The BRAND;
"Made in Ireland", MR. SPOOK said: "What A LARK!"
8) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,226 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
That POOR GIRL was Searching, for LOVE,
She thought, IT, fell, from the Sky, ABOVE;
So, late, in the NIGHT,
Hearing Wings, in FLIGHT;
Saw COUNT DRACULA, in Cape, Hat & Gloves!
:-* ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie went to bother our friend Paul.
He wanted Paul to join his monster brawl.
Well this what we know?
Paul pushed him in the snow.
And Zombie was soon buried by the squall.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,300 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
A ZOMBIE bit, off, My Left PINKIE,
&, now, it's becoming, quite, STINKY;
My Brain pattern's CHANGED,
I'm Becoming DERANGED;
I'm Knot Shur I No How 2 THINKY?!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,352 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ >:D
QUASIMODO had, no, fear, of HEIGHTS,
Hung, out, with GARGOYLES, Day & NIGHT;
He Knew, no, THREATS,
In His High PARAPETS;
But, Dom Claude Frollo gave Him a FRIGHT!
;D ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Soon we shall spy some little green men,
As they come dancing out of the fen.
We are awestruck,
Hope they bring luck.
Some gold would be nice and oh so zen.
There are many movies yet to be seen,
Whether it is on television or big screen,
One thing you can be sure off they're not rotten,
And some of them starred the great Rondo Hatton,
However as it is now St Pat's day his pallor is green.
Greetings to my fellow members on this 2017 St Patrick's day.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,422 times)
>:( ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
Eaves-dropping, while the Digger said, "PULL",
Deep, in That Ancient, Rectangular, HOLE;
Then, Familiar, Creaking, SOUND,
Excitement, at What was FOUND;
Whispering, when They unearthed The SKULL!
>:( ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,488 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
My FONDEST, of WISHES, For THE UMA,
Is, on This HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY
To Wipe, away, All, TEARS,
With Ample GREEN BEERS;
9 YEARS, since, We Came, Out, To PLAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Leprechauns offered us some green beer.
They told us we had nothing to fear.
Alas we were bold
And asked for some gold.
We traded for bagels and a schmear.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,611 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o
The LEPRECHAUNS Tracked a GIANT TOAD,
Surprised, to Uncover Its SECRET ABODE;
Into Violent PUNS,
Those Sons, o' GUNS;
Felt The TIME Was Right, to "LOCK'N'LOAD!"
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,622 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D
In IRELAND, The Wee Folk, "They SAY",
Run, about, After DARK, "Making HAY";
When the Sun don't SHINE,
They build a "FRANKENSTEIN";
He's GREEN & Protects Them, ANYWAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,632 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
The LEPRECHAUNS put Their GOLD, on DISPLAY,
Like, a RAINBOW, It appears, to Fade, AWAY;
'Tis, Not Hard, to FIND,
Take It Line, By, LINE;
'Tis Abundant, in Our LIMERICK THREAD, UMA!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,642 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
JEFF BARNES is a LEPRECHAUN, We KNOW,
He Places, Quite, Often, as: "Best, Of SHOW";
While, Big, for His SPECIES,
He's, not, Full, o' FECES;
His PERFECT JOB, is Listed, Under: "SNOW!"
;D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,722 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
THE LEPRECHAUNS Told Us: "We'll See Ya AROUND!"
"'Twas FUN, Workin', with, ALL, o' You, UMA CLOWNS!"
"We'll drink a GREEN BEER,
Then, see, Ya, NEXT YEAR;
For LIMERICK ANNIVERSARY, # 10! So, PROFOUND!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 226,822 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
IRISH VAMPIRES are, Again, DRESSED, In BLACK,
With SAINT PATRICK'S DAY, Past, Back, on TRACK;
"We wear, GREEN, for ST. PADDY'S,
As our 'Snacks' make, us, 'BADDIES';
In Holiday Colors, We can make SNEAK ATTACKS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,007 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o
The Gorgon, MEDUSA was an Old SNAKE-CHARMER,
They lived, on Her head, yet, Never, did HARM 'ER;
Poets penned SONNETS,
To Her Reptilian BONNET;
Real Men got STONED, even, if, They wore ARMOUR!
:o ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an old leprechaun called Brock.
Who was different from the rest of his flock.
He had a Shillelagh
For his crooked right knee.
And tossed us a lucky golden shamrock.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,127 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
That mean Scottish VAMPIRE, MacKENZIE,
Resorted, to DIRTY TRICKS, due, to ENVY;
Although His Breath STANK,
He Robbed a BLOOD BANK;
Whipping Other VAMPIRES, into a FRENZY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,222 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Censored
That ZOMBIE, named, FREDDY, was WEEPY,
He'd Remembered a Promise, Worth KEEPING;
About, Not, Inflicting HARM,
He Released the SCHOOL-MARM;
To Bite Low-Life Politicians, who were CREEPY!
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Censored
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Today those zombies shall be beheaded.
It is the day that they have long dreaded.
Now things will halt.
It is their fault.
At last, all their evil shall be shredded.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,327 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
Ye PIRATE GHOST sought, out, FRESH PLUNDER,
In Ship-Wreck, Dead, in The Land DOWN-UNDER;
Many, He Failed, to SMOTE,
Or, to Write a Ransom NOTE;
'Til The Grim Reaper's Scythe, Rent, Him, ASUNDER!
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Paino is the neighborhood witch.
Looking at her makes us all twitch.
She mostly fails
And never sails
Her kayak is always in the ditch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,422 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Who could forget olde WILL, O' THE WISP,
He pronounced a few Sounds, with a LISP;
Whist Freezing, one, NIGHT,
Drawn, to Warm FIRELIGHT;
Fell, in, by Accident, &, Burnt, to a CRISP!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,442 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ ;)
We LOVE That APE WRITER, KING KONG,
Whose PROSE has, Us, Moving, ALONG;
'Tis, Worthy, of NOTE,
That's, not, all, He WROTE;
He's Co-Written Many Rock & Roll SONGS!
;D ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,477 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'(
GODZILLA was STOMPING The CITY,
Not, because, He was, without PITY;
Just Being, so, HUGE,
Brought His Havoc DELUGE;
Left, in His wake, a Real NITTY-GRITTY!
:'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,511 times)
8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ 8)
I tell You: "I AM, NOT, A ROBOT"!
Despite Everything You've been TAUGHT;
You say "It's OFFICIAL!"
My Intelligence, ARTIFICIAL;
+, Up-Grade offers, which can be BOUGHT!
8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombies are being sued for slander.
As are some witches and a bystander.
Soon they shall all pay
For the lies they say
In cash and by eating oleander.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,577 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ hmjfym
The SUN, again, is, about, to SET,
Meaning THEY haven't awoken, YET;
Caught, upon the BREEZE,
Is the Scent, of My SNEEZE;
THEY will take, Me, to see The VET!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,622 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
As DRACULA Flew, He felt a Big "CLANG!"
Realizing His plight, issued an Angry "DANG!"
"The Night Air was, SWELL,
'Til I hit That Church BELL;
So, Hard & Fast, that, it dislodged My FANG!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
McNasty is an evil witch.
Who even makes the zombies twitch.
With a great zeal,
She loves to steal.
And toss her bounty in a ditch.
OOOOOO'Leary is dead
and O'reily don't know it
O'Reily is dead
and O'Leary don't know it
they both are dead
in the very same bed
and neither one knows
that the other one's dead
Baroom Baroom
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ixhXFwqEnV4/UXm6m4dVmUI/AAAAAAAAATs/NINxABQLLog/s1600/Baroom.jpg)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,722 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
"I don't mean, to cause you any FRIGHT,
But, you see, it's quite deep, into NIGHT;
Just, Relax, &, you'll SEE,
That, you, really, Love ME;
Pardon, Me, while I catch a Quick BITE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,757 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
"Now, that, We've had Our, Little, CHAT,
I can Promise, You'll, never, grow FAT;
As, to Our 'LIQUID DIET',
You'll get others, to Try IT;
It's Best, to Bite, as they sleep, as a BAT."
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Jerome.
Who hid his all brains under a dome.
Along came a sly troll,
He put them in a bowl.
And served them to his buddy the gnome.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,888 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
That Sumptuous, Beauty, A VAMPIRE, named, RUTH,
Finally, sold Their Mortal Enemy, on ETERNAL YOUTH;
Once, She Transferred Her BLOOD,
He proved, that, He was No DUD;
Van HELSING admits: "Now, I'm Long, In The TOOTH!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 227,977 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
TRAPPED, Suddenly, amidst The Early, Morning, DEW,
The DAWN, approaching, RAPIDLY: "What, to DO?!"
Try, to FLY, She MUST!
Whether, Boom, or, BUST;
Sunlight burnt her, to DUST, We say, Sadly: "ADIEU"!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Faye.
Who longed to see the sun light the day.
Alas she had some hope,
To use a periscope.
Only if she could find a way to pay.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,088 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There was a New VAMPIRE, named, FERN,
Who had many Un-Dead Ways, to LEARN;
Not, a Real SMARTY,
Threw a Daytime PARTY;
They sent Her ASHES, home, in an URN.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,098 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ :blank: ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :blank:
THE FULL MOON is, Useful, to ALL,
MONSTERS, both, Great & SMALL;
Werewolves, to MUMMIES,
+ some Human DUMMIES;
Who taunt THE BLOB, at The MALL!
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ :blank: ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,102 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
Now, I'm, TIRED, and, Must, GO, TO SLEEP,
Until, TOMORROW, from, Me, NOT, A PEEP;
This day was, too, LONG,
I'll Snooze, all, Night, LONG;
&, Dispense, with the Need, to count SHEEP!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,122 times)
;) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
I have returned,;as a Threat, or, a PROMISE,
MUA-HA-HA-HA! {A Laugh Quite, OMINOUS};
Attempting a JOKE,
I go, for BROKE;
Egging you, on, with a LIMERICK OMELETTE!
;) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a shy zombie named Katie.
Who was from the country now called Haiti.
She chanted a curse.
Got it in reverse.
And was deported as a Kuwaiti.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,222 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Those Limericks gods know, no, SEASON,
Sans Obsequious Fawning, only, PLEASIN';
The Day's, Better, by HALF,
When We Share, a LAUGH;
Ever, Time, for a Rhyme, with, no, REASON!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil witch named Nellie.
Who we would often see at our deli.
She would bring Pasha
And order kasha,
No wonder they have such an huge belly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,322 times)
:o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-*
There, once, was an OGRE, named, TELLY,
Who fell, Madly, in LOVE, with SHELLEY;
'Tho', She was a SPRITE,
'Twas, LOVE-At-1st-SIGHT;
They have a DELI, with Daughter, KELLY!
:o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,382 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
STORMY, with BLUSTER, DARK, was THE NIGHT,
As, if, ALL, the WORLD, was BITTEN, by BLIGHT;
As the Realm, of the DEAD,
Into our SOULS, had BLED;
May The Sad GHOSTIES, cause, Us, No, FRIGHT!
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,444 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
The WEREWOLF Approached The PYRE,
Moments, prior, to Its being set, AFIRE;
Just, before, Its FEAT,
Would be COMPLETE:
Consume the Remains, of the VAMPIRE.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
PAINo, the old witch, never seems to learn.
Damage or move our stuff and she will burn.
To be very frank,
She looks at us blank.
Perhaps she should lay off all the sauterne.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,522 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
So, often, SEEN, it becomes, rather, TRITE,
DRACULA'S Clan holding Their satanic RITE;
Thinking, they'd win the FIGHT,
Yet, end, up, Taking FLIGHT;
Then, Good Guys Dispatch, Doom & SMITE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228581 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
In the Ancient CRYPT, the RATS, often, SQUEAK,
THE VAMPIRE Arises, He is NATURE'S FREAK;
As The CENTURIES, ROLL,
He Grasps, as a WHOLE;
The SPEED, of TIME, Running, Through A WEEK!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Kay.
Who often went after the wrong prey.
She wasn't very smart.
Found a stake in her heart.
Thus we laughed and watched her decay.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,599 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
A Voluptuous VAMPIRE, 'Turned', in Her Sheer NIGHTIE,
Her Hypnotic Charms make Her Victims say:" ALRIGHTY!",
The, Longer, They STARE,
To Crave Their Fair SHARE;
Their last phrase, as Humans, is: "Go, Ahead - BITE ME!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,700 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ ;D
There, once, was an old, Giant, SLUG,
Which, beneath My Coffin, had DUG;
Roamed, through My VAULT,
'Til, I broke, out, THE SALT;
That, Finally, got, Rid, of That BUG!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,707 times)
:o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ u6juu ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :angel:
Doc FRANKENSTEIN'S Brother was a FAKER,
He met THE BRIDE, &, Tried, to BREAK 'ER;
But, SHE was, too, STRONG,
&, Something, went WRONG;
She sent, Him, HOME, to meet His MAKER!
:o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ u6juu ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,717 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER was Out, and, ABOUT,
The VILLAGERS Saw, Him, &, gave a Great SHOUT;
'Twas, not, on a Mere WHIM,
That, They chased, after HIM;
So, He Hid, Down, in the CATACOMBS, to POUT!
ededed ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Two zombies and a witch got into a brawl.
They woke my Aunt Sarah and Uncle Saul.
Should they call the cops?
Or Sam the Cyclops?
A troll was who they decided to call.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,822 times)
>:( ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :'(
MANNY, The RAT, was FU MAN CHU'S BOSUN,
Served, on many a Voyage, over the OCEAN;
He served, FU'S DAUGHTERS,
They Sank, in Arctic WATERS;
MANNY R., Called, but, CHU Are FROZEN!
>:( ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,877 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
THE ALIENS arrived, from OUTER SPACE,
Some, of Them, Appeared, without, FACE;
Their Mouths, Kept, HIDDEN,
Shown, Only, If, BIDDEN;
As They thought, Themselves, a DISGRACE.
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombies are screaming out in the rain.
What do you expect? They have not one brain.
Plus they lost in court
Now have to abort,
All the dreck that they started, how insane!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 228,977 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ u6juu ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ tynhrt
THE VARIOUS VAMPIRE CLANS didst FIGHT,
Cruel SLAUGHTER, was done, Every, NIGHT;
So, Busy, with WAR,
They took, No, STORE;
&, So, ALL, were Destroyed, by SUNLIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~ u6juu ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,072 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ;D
A PAINFULLY, SHY, MODEST, VAMPIRE, named TESS,
Found, in Her UNDEAD State, a Most HORRIBLE MESS;
Her Virtue was, Such, LEGEND,
That, Her 'Victims' DEPENDED:
To SCARE, HER, Away, They would, Simply, UNDRESS!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Standing outside, in front of his lair.
Zombie lurks, scaring us with his stare.
He is such a huge creep.
Our hearts started to beep.
As we chanted a magic prayer.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,133 times)
C:) ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The APRIL FOOL'S BIRTHDAY, that, We, AWAIT,
Is, His, Who made THE MONSTERS, 1ST-RATE;
With Amazing APLOMB,
LON CHANEY'S "THE BOMB"!
He's regarded, by, All, as, Being, Forever, GREAT!
C:) ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,222 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES Horde invaded Town SQUARE;
After Sunset, many, of Them, arrived, by AIR;
The Shoppes were, all, CLOSED,
Which, left, Them, MOROSE;
"Ve came, for Big Sale, de Savings, to COMPARE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Claire.
Who said that she had nothing to wear.
She attacked a bloke,
And stole his fur cloak.
Which didn't cover her derriere.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,282 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :P ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Weekend has, sped, by, too, FAST!
The Work-Week begins, with its TASKS;
Days, longer, Go, FASTER,
"BOSS DRAC" is My MASTER;
His Blood-Bank is, where, I Fill, CASKS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :P ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,333 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Van HELSING, at the Tomb, of UNDEAD NED,
Said: "It's Time, to Wake, Up, SLEEPYHEAD!"
He threw, open, Ned's COFFIN,
And, then, started, LAUGHIN';
As Ned's EMBARRASSED ASHES Turned RED!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Sammy.
Who was in love with the zombie Tammy.
They sat on the lawn
And waited 'til dawn.
Cursed and under a double whammy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,388 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank:
APRIL is, Once, Again, RUNNING, ALONG,
Chirruping, Sweetly, SPRINGTIME'S SONG;
THE MONSTERS, DISMAYED,
Their Nerves, VERY, FRAYED;
As They foresee the DAYS, Growing, LONG!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,399 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
THE GORGON SISTERS, of Ancient GREECE,
Craftily, captured The Famed, GOLDEN FLEECE;
All, of The Hellenic HEROES,
Add, Up, to, Mere, ZEROES;
Turned, to STONE, Their Chances, DECREASE!
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,455 times)
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
That Funky, Old, ZOMBIE, named, STEVE,
Held, a HOPE, Others, couldn't, BELIEVE;
In His ROTTED HEART,
An Adventure, to START;
That, Someday, His BRAIN, He'd RETRIEVE!
Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Teddy.
Who along with his buddy Freddy.
Attacked an old monk,
He was very drunk,
So on their feet they are unsteady.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,555 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :angel:
THE GREAT WHITE SHARK is, still, a FISH,
&, catching One, is, something, I'd WISH;
Some Kinda MEETING,
Lot's, o' Good EATING;
If BRUCE Ends, Up, on My DINNER DISH!
;D ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,622 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Hates, to Get, Up, in The MORNING,
He's had, to Do, so, on Occasion, without WARNING;
Oh, He'd, rather, SLEEP, IN,
But, a Few Times, The DIN;
Of Villagers, with STAKES, spells Trouble, ABORNING!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
She has returned! The evil old Crone.
The one who hails from parts unknown.
A nasty witch,
Who makes us twitch.
And hangs with zombies from Bayonne.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,733 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY Decided, to Launder His WRAP,
CLEAN DUDS would put, Him, "On The MAP";
The Machine proved, FICKLE,
It left, KHARIS, in a PICKLE;
Garb, torn, to Bits - He Exclaimed: "Aw, CRAP!"
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,802 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt
A VOLUPTUOUS VAMPIRE did BEGUILE,
Her evil Charms, dressed, with a SMILE;
Her Prey, She, ENCHANTED,
Yet, They, soon, RECANTED;
One Day, Finding Her ASHES, in a PILE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named James.
Who enjoyed playing video games.
Much to his great surprise,
The sun began to rise,
Thus, at the next level were death flames.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,855 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE KING was, There, at the FOUNDING,
Of TRANSYLVANIA, which is, quite, ASTOUNDING;
When The Rivers ran, RED,
More, became, UNDEAD;
A True, Fearless, LEADER, Calm and GROUNDING.
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 229,922 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a SAVAGE, OLD, GHOST,
Who was, Truly, Feared, COAST-TO-COAST;
So, many, did, LEARN,
This Spectre could BURN;
He'd, laugh, Saying: "Now, You're TOAST!"
tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Chase.
Who loved to wear frilly Belgium lace.
He was vain and fickle,
And stole Zombie's pickle.
It is said to be his coup de grace
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 230,032 times)
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
MR. HYDE was, essentially, CORRECT,
When He said: "Nobody's, PERFECT!"
"I'm, not, a BETTER HALF,
Nor, am I, a GOLDEN CALF;
But, if, I Cut, YOU, in Half, I DISSECT!"
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 230,310 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-*
The FULL MOON Is Rising, Once, AGAIN,
As WEREWOLVES are Stirring, to CONTEND;
When, out, from Their CRYPTS,
Like, Computer Screen 'BLIPS';
VAMPIRE WINGS are, Whirring, My FRIEND!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a foul witch named Betty.
Who tried to poison our spaghetti.
So we cast a spell,
And sent her to hell.
After tossing her off the jetty.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 230,515 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE, Who drinks Blood, is BAD
He's, Typically, a BOUNDER, and, a CAD;
He passes His DAYS,
In some, kind, of DAZE;
At SUNSET, He seems HAPPY and GLAD!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 230,632 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
A LONE ZOMBIE went the WRONG WAY,
Down, that Very DARK ALLEY, One DAY;
He ran, into a MOB,
He felt a Last THROB;
'Twas a "REAL NO-BRAINER", They SAY!
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There is so much evil surrounding me.
Zombies and trolls as far a the eye can see.
Racing thru the twiddles,
We jump over piddles.
Only to now bump into a banshee.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 230,788 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
A SOPHISTICATE VAMPIRE, Named, DIRK,
Known, for Foibles, &, many, an Odd, QUIRK;
In Graveyards, He'd LURK,
Folks thought, Him, a JERK;
Drank Victims' Blood, thru a Straw, as a PERK.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 230,930 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S CREATION Awoke, CONFUSED,
A NEW-BORN, with LIFE'S POWER, ENTHUSED;
His Way, to BEGIN,
Sans, Error, or, SIN;
Unaware, of the Life-or-death Power, to CHOOSE.
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We can hear PAINo the witch clanging.
On her porch, she is busy banging.
She is afeard.
And very weird.
Thus is very ripe for a hanging.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 231,112 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER had found a "FRIEND",
He'd hoped, it, would start a TREND;
But, it cut, like, a KNIFE,
Rejected, by His "WIFE";
That, was the Beginning, of The END!
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 231,231 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
The DINOSAUR Era was, ever, so, GRAND,
All, Part & Parcel, of a Much, Larger, PLAN;
They Came & WENT,
Enjoying Their STINT;
Without, US, on This Planet, UNMANNED.
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The vampires and ghouls were groaning.
Witches, zombies and trolls are moaning.
As they blow up caves,
And dig up the graves.
All because of the strange new zoning.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 231,470 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Eerie Night felt, like, a Dying GROAN,
Leaves weaved, amid the Winds' MOAN;
In the Cemetery RUINS,
The Ghouls be A-CHEWIN';
Some Things are, Better, Left, UNKNOWN.
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 231,588 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
Old IM-HOTEP had, FINALLY, DECIDED,
That, He was, Wearied, of being DERIDED;
About, to play His HAND,
He'd, Triumphantly, STAND;
But, Lost, to a Fate, that, ISIS, PROVIDED.
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombies and trolls are now estranged.
Both sides are acting very deranged.
We don't care a bit,
About their big split.
Or that evil spells have been exchanged.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 231,755 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt
Van HELSING Acquired a SECRET WEAPON,
Which, took, Only, a MOMENT'S PREPPIN';
PINOCCHIO was DANDY,
Came, in, Really, HANDY;
Impaled VAMPIRES, when Lies, BECKONED!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 231,900 times)
C:) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The SQUADRON, of POLICEMEN, were SERIOUS,
Over The REPORTS, of a MONSTER, DELIRIOUS;
They came, out, in FORCE,
Said MONSTER was NORSE;
That KRAKEN gave 'Em, an Achin', DELETERIOUS!
C:) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 231,909 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES Pulled, Out, ALL, The STOPS,
To Advance, in Making Blood-based LOLLIPOPS;
Their INGREDIENT LIST,
HITS, Us, like, a FIST;
We're Their OBVIOUS CHOICE, for THE CROPS!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 231,931 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE SCIENTISTS Had Unearthed A GIANT EGG,
DOUBLE, the SIZE, of a REGULAR BEER-KEG;
When, It, BROKE, OPEN,
They were, Forced, into COPIN';
With A MONSTER, that, chewed off, Their LEGS!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Our local witch is extremely vile.
She sits on the sidewalk spitting up bile.
Instilling fear,
She has no care
We grin, as soon she will be on trial
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 232,123 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIES were, in Need, of a NAP,
Being, newly, UNDEAD, felt, like, CRAP;
"It's, not, Nice, to COMPLAIN,
Yet, I feel, quite, INSANE;
This 'Walking Dead' Thing's a BUM RAP!"
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 232,223 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
A VAMPIRE LADY flew, into His Suite, as a BAT,
Attached Herself, to the Vein, of the DIPLOMAT;
Drank His Blood, Rich & TASTY,
'Til His colour went Very PASTY;
Said She: "Politics & Vampirism is 'Where It's AT!'"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Hector.
Believe us, he was a true spectre.
He was so gaunt,
Which helped him haunt
And scare away the bill collector.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 232,333 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~ ededed ~~~ >:D ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER had found a New 'FRIEND',
So, Unlike, the FIRST, This, SECOND;
Certifiably, INSANE,
Gave THE MONSTER His BRAIN;
Our Worst FEARS, will, Now, NEVER, END!
ededed ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~ ededed ~~~ >:D ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 232,432 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ >:D
SWEENEY TODD, Noted, for Being a Really, Good, COOK,
He was, Shockingly, Revealed, to be, quite, The ROOK;
His Yummy MEAT PIES,
Full, of DEADLY LIES;
Landed, Him, in the Hot Water, of a Real DONNYBROOK!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We tossed the evil witch out in the rain.
And wondered if Zombie could smell her brain.
Then we all bet a penny.
That she didn't have any.
Everyone won! Except the evil Dane.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 232,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
A Beautiful VAMPIRE passed, on Her CURSE,
In a Very Realistic DISGUISE, as a NURSE;
She'd give BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS,
Then, amidst, All, the CONFUSION;
Send Her Victims' Bodies, Away, in a HEARSE.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Even on Easter, we hear Zombies scream,
We hold them ALL in major disesteem.
The army of trolls
And many lost souls,
Will soon be tossing that evil downstream.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 232,799 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
The Ghostly and Ghastly are, a mere, SUB-SECTION,
Of Choice's Spectrum, from Damned, to PERFECTION;
ETERNITY is, Ever, NEAR,
LOVE DIVINE, to, hellish FEAR;
I Walk, thru the Door, Opened, by HIS RESURRECTION!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 233,033 times)
ededed ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ededed
TIME'S Pace, never, slackens - MONDAY, AGAIN!
Weather-Guessers saying: "Sure looks, like, RAIN!"
Puttin', on The RITZ,
I, again, send, out, FRITZ;
To find, me, another Fresh Heart... or, New BRAIN!
ededed ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Witches. Zombies and Monsters now gather.
We wonder if we should call Dan Rather.
They drink too much booze,
But that is not news.
Just the usual nonsense and blather.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 233,683 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA gave His 'Newbies" a QUIZ,
"If you shake, up, Fresh Blood, does it FIZZ?"
"Can You play the HARP?"
"Or, make a Stake, SHARP,
Whilst Kissing a CARP? What say, You, LIZ?!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 233,700 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
The MUMMY Thought, it, Time, for a Small NAP,
It was Interrupted, by a Loud THUNDER-CLAP;
"It gave, Me, The SHIVERS,
Plus, it Shook, Up, My LIVER;
So, I must find a Restroom, to Take a CRAP!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 233,777 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
THE GHOST, that, Haunts Our MANOR,
In Life, was, Well-known, as a TANNER;
He'd take a Fresh HIDE,
Give, it, the 'Usual RIDE';
To Produce, it, as a Rug, or, a BANNER!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Milo.
Who wanted to reside in a silo.
He thought it was best,
A cool place to rest.
That is why he is hunting in Shiloh.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 233,903 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
"Among VAMPIRES, Certain Things, are, UPHELD,
Like, Sharing Our Spoils, as BLOOD, is SMELLED;
You must learn, to SEE,
Us, as Your New FANG-MILY;
Long, before Mr. Spock, we did The MIND-MELD!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 233,970 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-*
An OUTER SPACE MONSTER, a GIANT TOMATO,
Complained, on arrival, of 'a Touch, of LUMBAGO';
The Local MEDICAL STAFF,
Made an Inter-Stellar GAFF;
As Their 'Aid', reduced, Him, to PASTA ALFREDO!
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil witch named Jacky.
All the warlocks thought her to be wacky.
She put a spell on Jill,
Who fell suddenly ill.
But that was from eating all the ackee.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,103 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE MOOSE,
A Vile Aberration, with, no, EXCUSE;
He wrought, much, HAVOC,
During Night-Time's CLOCK;
By Day, Transformed, into a GOOSE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,181 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
The SUN, arose, on the VAMPIRE GOOSE,
A HUNTING PARTY was raised, no, one, REFUSED,
Yet, as They were TRACKING,
Found Information, LACKING,
Learned, in one Mis-Step, Its Bowels were LOOSE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a young ghost named Bobby.
That decided that he needed a hobby.
He asked the troll,
Who was quite drole,
And was extremely rude and snobby.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,234 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The COCKNEY VAMPIRE mourned Her Sad PLIGHT,
Wherever She Traveled, She produced a BLIGHT;
A VERITABLE PLAGUE,
Towns, on Their Last, LEG;
"'Tis, jus', Me 'abit, to get 'a BIT, O', ALL, RIGHT?!'"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,342 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE GRIM REAPER Needed a NEW SICKLE,
Sought Quality, for Cheap - He was FICKLE;
Searched the World, OVER,
Then, found, One, in DOVER;
To His delight, Price was Right, Paid 1 NICKEL!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a warlock named Matt.
Who thought that he was getting fat,
He made a diet brew.
It looked sort of like stew.
But turned him into a big rat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,432 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
ZOMBIES, Always, remind, me, of DANDELIONS,
EVERYWHERE, &, just, as Infectious, as PRIONS;
Looking, for BRAINS,
They ain't no BARGAIN;
And, if You see, 'em, You'd, Better, Start FLYIN'!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,532 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-*
ERIK, The Phantom, Weary, of being DERIDED,
To Christine Daaé, This Message, CONFIDED:
"I am, Not, Really, BAD,
No LOVE Drives, Me, MAD,
Finding You has Freed, Me, I've, so, DECIDED."
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,585 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, JUNE,
Who loved, to view, each phase, of The MOON;
Her MANTRA, A PUN,
"Reflected Light, of the SUN";
When It was, Full, it, just, made Her SWOON!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,615 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The NIGHT had, Fallen, 'round, Them, TOO, FAST,
They Feared Their Fate, as The VAMPIRES' REPAST;
'Twas WALPURGIS NIGHT,
To Try a Dangerous FLIGHT;
Against Silent Night, the Whir, of Wings, CONTRAST!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,623 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a MUMMY, named, FRANK,
Who had, All, the Egyptian gods, to THANK;
He stole the Queen's PURSE,
So, His ETERNAL CURSE;
Is, when Revived, a PERPETUAL 'STANK'!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,714 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
Once, upon EARTH, The MONSTERS, ROAMED,
Upon MOUNTAINS, High, or, by The SEA-FOAM;
For, All, of Their SAVOR,
They fell, out, of FAVOR;
To Earth's Dust, Returned, Now, They're LOAM!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
PAINo the witch gathered her coven.
As a group they were really sloven.
Leprechaun Rick.
Knew a great trick.
And pushed them into a hot oven.
There once was a lonely troll named Reid.
They say he was the last of a rare breed.
He lived with the undead,
It got into his head.
That he could be happy smoking weed.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,800 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
THE WEREWOLF OF LONDON sat, CRYING,
Because, He knew His Love, would be DYING;
His Close Attempt, FOILED,
By a Bullet, WELL-OILED;
Then, She and Her New Beau, left, FLYING!
:'( ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,850 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE WRAITHS Appeared, in Each MIRROR,
To Drive the HUMANS, MAD, with TERROR;
Most FIENDISH and VILE,
'Twould take, Them, AWHILE;
Before They could come One Step, NEARER!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 234,932 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
QUASIMODO Awoke, FEELING BLISSED!!!
For ESMERALDA had Given, HIM, a KISS;
IT Rang, ALL, HIS BELLS,
Released, HIM, from HELL;
Up, to that Moment, a Key, of Life, MISSED!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,000 times)
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE GHOULS and THE WITCHES were, AT WAR,
At Definite Odds, with EACH OTHERS' GORE;
Defenses were BROKEN,
Incantations were SPOKEN;
Then, ZOMBIES Ate Them, All, & Wanted, MORE!
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,035 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Who can Compete or Defeat THE BLOB,
There was, once, a ZOMBIE, named BOB;
A very, odd, FELLOW,
Mistook It, for JELLO;
Ended, up, as a Part, of THE BLOB'S JOB!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There is something evil and out of the norm.
PAINo and McNasty have started to swarm.
Witches so evil,
They scare the weevil.
Time to take shelter from the coming storm.
Tis time to kill the evil zombie spawn.
Miles to go before we kill him at dawn.
We don't care.
If it has hair.
For we have brains and that's better than brawn.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,122 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF got caught, by the MOB,
Of Villagers, whose lives, He had ROBBED;
He knew This FULL MOON,
Would SEAL His DOOM;
Then, They, ALL, got Eaten, by THE BLOB!
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,153 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, BILL,
Who, in the Zombie Plague, ate His FILL;
Many tried, to 'spike' HIM,
He made Them, just, like, HIM;
He was 'taken out', by a bomb! OVERKILL!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a crazy sad old witch.
Because she was born with a strange twitch.
Her spells went awry.
She ate magic pie.
And turned into a warlock called Mitch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,235 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ u6juu ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE MONSTER, over, Them, did LOOM,
Signaling Their FATE, and, Their DOOM;
His Great Strength, UNFURLED,
Sent, Them, out, of This WORLD;
Not, even, Much, Remained, to ENTOMB!
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ u6juu ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,259 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE VAMPIRE Flew, in The WINDOW,
ZIGZAGGING, About, TO and FRO;
Landing, On The BED,
So, Typically, UNDEAD;
Staked & Tossed, Out, In The SNOW!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,315 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ thrhrt
It is said: "THEY can see, in the DARK!"
"THEY'll drink Your BLOOD, for a LARK!"
"THEY can turn, into BATS!"
"Control WOLVES & RATS!"
"2, of THEM, weren't, on NOAH'S ARK!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jane.
In the next crypt, lay her husband Wayne.
When he started to flirt.
With the zombie, Gert.
She shipped them off to Bangor, Maine.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,423 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ thrhrt
The ZOMBIE, named FESTER, was SAD,
Regret, for His Vile Debt, Felt, so, BAD;
It was, down, to the WIRE,
When He met a VAMPIRE;
Who Showed Him, He was, Really, RAD!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,453 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named BRICE,
Who was Repulsive and Covered, with LICE;
His distinctive FEATURES,
Masked, by these CREATURES;
Were, oft, Surrounded, by a Horde, of MICE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Colleen.
Even for a zombie, she was mean.
She wasn't smart.
You could ask Art.
But she ripped out and ate his spleen.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,532 times)
Zombie LOL ~~~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~~~ Zombie LOL
THE WITCH waved Her wand, made, of SWIZZLE,
Yet, The Storm, She called, forth, was a DRIZZLE;
Always, something, TRAGIC,
With the Poor Use, of MAGIC;
Often, as, not, the SPELL, Improper, will FIZZLE.
Zombie LOL ~~~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,555 times)
>:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
"We'll find Them!" He said, with a SNEER,
"Job, done, we'll 'ead, off, for a BEER!"
"A Tisket, a TASKET,
A bloody Vampire's CASKET!"
Stupid Goon, spoke, too, soon! Shed a TEAR!
>:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Bud the vampire was very frisky.
Was it because he drank so much whiskey?
We doubt he'll ever change,
And is still very strange.
Staying up till dawn is very risky.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,715 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ::)
There, once, was a Defiant, Giant, HOG,
Who rooted His way, through the BOG;
But, there, he got EATEN,
It was, Very, DEFEATING;
By a CROCODILE, Disguised, as a LOG.
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ::)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,800 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA said, to RENFIELD: "You're FIRED!"
"For Conduct, Unbecoming, of a VAMPIRE!"
"You, still, attend MASS,
Which I, cannot, let, PASS;
And, now, I'm Told, You Sing, in the CHOIR!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Ron.
Who tried to pull off a foul con.
He told a bystander.
Some crazy slander,
And blamed it on Zombie Shaun.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,905 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ ededed
THE VILLAGERS Ransacked The CASTLE,
Searching, for The MONSTER, a HASSLE;
Then, down, in the DUNGEON,
They were, all, BLUDGEONED;
DOC FRANKENSTEIN had made a PASSEL!
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,930 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
As the Sun, sets, WALPURGISNACHT, BEGINS,
All, those Germanic WITCHES flaunt their SINS;
Tonight, is LEGENDARY,
Scares even the Tooth FAIRY;
The Morrow's Sun, arising, ends, all, of the DIN!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 235,999 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNTESS ELIZABETH BATHORY
In Her subjects' BLOOD, Her servants, BATHED HER,
to Countess Elizabeth, a cause, of, much, LAUGHTER;
Her castle they STORMED,
And, is, often, The NORM;
Locked Bathory, away, for a, Long, MORNING, AFTER!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
PAINo the witch loves drinking her booze.
Really loves guzzling down Chartreuse.
She took out a nozzle,
To beat zombie Schnozzle.
But first she fell into a deep snooze.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,102 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD begged DRACULA'S BRIDES, to STOP,
Sucking His BLOOD, like, IT was SODA POP;
"You're, much, too, DEFT,
But, I haven't, much, LEFT;
I'll be a Withered Husk, you'll need a NEW CROP!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,136 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ???
He awoke, lying, there, on the LAWN,
Shortly, after the breaking, of DAWN;
The Full Moon was DOWN,
He felt, like, a CLOWN;
Odd Memories, of being a WEREFAWN!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Drew.
Who drank an extremely strange brew.
He shambled like a pig,
As he danced an odd jig.
And then started to scream 'MOO MOO'
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,222 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
TUESDAY came A-Roarin', on, THROUGH,
THE WALRUS sang: "GOO-GOO-GA-JOOB!"
The Week, as a WHOLE,
Is, Both, ROCK & ROLL;
HE Says: "Behold, I make, All, Things, NEW!"
:o ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,236 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE CLAN held a Local PARADE,
At MIDNIGHT, the Entire Town was DISMAYED;
It raised Their IRE,
Mocked, by VAMPIRES;
So, with Holy Water & Crosses, They PRAYED!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a monster named Ramone.
Who decided to fly a spy drone.
He was up for hire.
But broke a live wire.
That fried him to his own funny bone.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,362 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Main Thing, about DRACULA'S WIVES,
Is, that, they're, awfully, hard, to DESCRIBE;
Each, is a Real BEAUTY,
And, DRAC does His DUTY;
Taking Time, each, One's BLOOD, to IMBIBE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,436 times)
:) ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
TWEEDLEDUM Said, Unto TWEEDLEDEE:
"NO MONSTERS, So, Far, as I can SEE!"
"That Appears, Good NEWS,
But, 'Ya Snooze, Ya LOSE';
'Cause, Behind You, I count, at least 3!"
:) ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Rittvo the vampire loved fine wine.
On drunk French chefs he would often dine.
When he was tipsy.
He could be dipsy.
And sing and dance like Andy Devine.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,512 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
QUASIMODO was, out and about, One NIGHT,
& He saw something, that, gave him a FRIGHT;
ESMERALDA APPEARED,
With Fangs, looking, WEIRD;
She Flew, away, after Taking, of Him, a BITE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,536 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
The STORM Raged, on, Causing, Much, FRIGHT,
Within the Old, Foreboding, CASTLE, a BLIGHT;
What Everyone's FEARING,
Ghastly Wraiths, APPEARING;
Enjoying such Weather, They say:"GOOD NIGHT!"
:o ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
PAINo the witch told so many lies.
That we can not think of compromise.
Thus it's not her call.
She's nailed to the wall.
And only the zombies sympathize.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,632 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile
THE ZOMBIES held "A Day At The RACES",
Find a Crowd, and, Eat, Off Their FACES;
At THE TOWN SQUARE,
They were, more, than, FAIR;
HUMANS had a Head-Start, of 100 PACES!
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,712 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
THE ZOMBIES Ate GUTS, like, SPAGHETTI,
Bits & Pieces FLEW, About, like, CONFETTI;
Their Method was WILD,
Their Victims, DEFILED;
Like, Lions & Wildebeests, on the SERENGETI!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,718 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ :'(
THE ZOMBIES carried Their HEAVY LOAD,
Many miles, 'til Their legs & backs, BOWED;
But, the Memories, of YORE,
Made Them carry, it, MORE;
A SPORTS CAR, that, when, Alive, They RODE!
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Two zombies lurking by our back door.
You would think that they would know the score.
They will go to jail,
Without brains or bail.
Having to exist as an herbivore.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 236,936 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF was hit, by the BULLET,
It missed His heart, striking His GULLET;
Not, made, of SILVER,
It made him SHIVER;
Then, He killed the Jerk, with the MULLET!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,027 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
PINOCCHIO had Discovered TERMITES,
His Bark was the Worse, for Their BITE;
It was a BUST,
He is, Now, SAWDUST;
GEPPETTO said: "That, just, ain't RIGHT!"
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Spike.
Who punched a large hole in the dike.
Causing a flood,
And lots of mud
Where he caught some very large pike.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,202 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :'(
THE LOVE-STRUCK MONSTER was MAD,
He saw "Her" ... and, wanted, Her, BAD!
Wanted Her, for His OWN,
She turned, Him, to STONE;
She passed, by, Deep, inside, He was SAD!
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,307 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, PIERRE,
Who posed, as a CARNY, for The STATE FAIR;
His pretext was, LAME,
The Price, of His GAME;
Was a Trick, to see, Who, longer, could STARE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a young ghost named Drake.
Who haunted from dusk to daybreak.
It wore him out,
Then he did shout,
"Why didn't you come to my wake?"
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,372 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
Men would see, Her, and, exclaim: "VA-VA-VOOM!"
Gullible, They would invite Her, up, to Their ROOM;
In that First DATE,
She'd Seal Their FATE;
Take Them, Out, for a Nibble & Seal Their DOOM!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,437 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :angel:
Ye Local GHOST tried, hard, to CONFESS,
About His earth-life, and, causing Its MESS;
You weren't the WORST,
So, Forgive, Yourself, FIRST;
We'll absolve, with the Verse: "GOD BLESS!"
tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The quirky ghost of Eve Arden.
Spied some zombies in our garden.
She scared them away,
And asked us to pay.
So she could go haunt Ty Hardin.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,555 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY, Of LUXOR, was THIN,
He was known, to raise a GREAT DIN;
He made the most NOISE,
Partying, with 'The BOYS';
One, of Whom, was, Really, a JINN!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,597 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ hmjfym
A VILE MONSTER was, of a STRANGE ILK,
Others' TRIFLES, He would Plan, to BILK;
Yet, He'd, never, CONFESS,
His Treasures, WORTHLESS;
His MOTTO: "Don't CRY, Over SPILT MILK!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The female zombie is stalking.
We all see her spy and walking.
She's in our clover,
But it is over.
As the trolls have her trash talking.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,777 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :-*
There, once, was a WARLOCK, named, MITCH,
Who won the Heart, of FRIEDA, The WITCH;
Together, Their SPELLS,
Produced Wedding BELLS;
I, just, LOVE It, when Folks find Their NICHE!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,792 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA donned His bow-tie and CAPE,
To perform His "Quick-As-A-Bat" ESCAPE;
In an instant, He's GONE,
'Cos, here, Comes The DAWN;
And, Oh, My! How the On-Lookers did GAPE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The little zombie was a big snitch.
He told about PAINo the witch.
She rang the bell
And cast a spell.
That fell flat and couldn't bewitch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,877 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt
Ye Olde TOWER held, CAPTIVE, A GHOST,
In Days, Long, Since, He was Its "HOST";
So, Much, 'Business', UNFINISHED,
Sadly, His SPIRIT, DIMINISHED;
Three Centuries, On, Trapped, at His POST!
tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 237,937 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-\ ~~~~~ thrhrt
Sleeping, Deeply, beneath The SOD,
Like, Seeds, to Sprout, Earthen CLODS;
UNDEAD, from The PAST,
No SHADOW, They CAST;
Arising, at Sunset: What are the ODDS?!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-\ ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombies just won't leave us alone.
Don't they know that their cover is blown?
They hover near as we plant,
Like a crazy maiden aunt.
Hunting brains as they drool on the phone.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 238,007 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
That VAMPIRE MASTER, named, ROSENCRANTZ,
Found Many "Young Lovelies", to put, in a TRANCE;
Whilst, many, did DEPLORE,
His Boast, to keep SCORE;
One, Angry Suitor pierced His heart, with a LANCE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombies are out on our street.
Looking for bloody brains to eat.
They don't have a clue.
And stepped in some goo.
Which ended their chance for fresh meat,
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 238,138 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
Trapped Souls followed an evil IMPULSE,
Eternal Payment, for Their Lives, REPULSED;
Yet, GOD Remains, TRUE,
To CREATE, Them, ANEW;
For REPENTANCE, despite having, no, PULSE.
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 238,238 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-[ ~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
In many ways, Leaving, here, is a PITY,
Yet, to Pun, I must make, This, WITTY;
Our Vacation, now, OVER,
We'll eat RUSSELL STOVER;
Until Evening, as We arrive, in Our CITY.
:'( ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~ :-[ ~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Scout.
Who started to cry, whine and then pout.
Drac got her a rat,
She wanted a cat.
So she screamed and smacked him on the snout.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 238,323 times)
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
The CLOCK 'Tick-Tocked' Our Day, AWAY,
TOMORROW is The Mid-Point, of MAY;
Feels, like, SURVIVIN',
After 7 Hours, of DRIVIN';
Sadly, Another Vacation was, done, TODAY.
:o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 238,382 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, BENNY,
whose First victim, was a Lady, named, JENNY;
They started a CLAN,
Naming, by PLAN,
Their Many Sons: DENNY, KENNY, and LENNY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Pin Yin.
Who desired his very own minion.
He wanted to be boss,
And didn't give a toss.
As to anyone else's opinion.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 238,500 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA had, Tried, to be REASONABLE,
For CENTURIES, He'd proven, to be INDEFATIGABLE;
"The World is Spinning, Too, FAST,
I'm feeling, Nostalgic, for The PAST;
Yet, without a TARDIS, to use, sadly, UNFEASIBLE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 238,599 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
TWO Local GHOSTS were invited, to The ROYAL BALL,
Once, Summoned, They, Politely, Answered The CALL;
They'd begun, to DANCE,
When They caught a GLANCE;
Of The KING & QUEEN; left, Them, feeling, quite, SMALL.
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Dash.
Who was always short of ready cash.
He went to the blood bank.
And then his black heart sank.
Withdrawal denied, his fangs did gnash.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 238,738 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE SKELETONS ran, past the GRAVES,
Because, of the way, GHOSTS, BEHAVE;
"They're, always, so, NEAT,
And, so, Full, of SHEET;
That, I'll, either, Ignore Them, or, WAVE."
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 238,808 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS had set, out, to STEAL,
Things, which held a 'HUMAN APPEAL';
Some Things, quite, OLD,
Or, so, I've been TOLD;
Their Greatest Treasure? A GLOCKENSPIEL!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A witch and a zombie sat on a step.
Moaning about how they made a misstep.
Soon the ax shall fall.
Should they move to Gaul?
Or beg for mercy on my own doorstep?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 238,923 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE KING was, Benignly, PIXILATED,
In considering, a Servant, truly, ADDLE-PATED;
Who, of Brains, was, In WANT,
With, Naught, else, to FLAUNT;
Locked him, in a Castle room, most, DILAPIDATED!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 239,050 times)
:D ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~~~ Zombie LOL
TIMES are, Sometimes, FULL, Sometimes, LEAN,
This many, Months, Prior, to ALL-HALLOWS-E'EN;
Just Drink a STRANGE BREW,
Reciting: "GOO-GOO-KA-JOOB";
It'll leave, You, Feeling, like, a JOLLY, OLD, BEAN!
:D ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombies watched us with blank eyes.
What did they gleam, these moron spies?
Their shuffles and rambles.
Got them caught in brambles.
As Drac laughed out loud at their lies.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 239,200 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~~~ :o
THE ZOMBIE, Angrily, Raised, Up, His FIST,
A futile gesture, for, which, He was DISSED;
As He shook it, with VIGOR,
Thanks, to MORTIS, of RIGOR;
It detached, almost, hit a Mortal, but, MISSED!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 239,239 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, GUY,
Who, Try-As-He-Might, just, could, not, FLY;
Folks thought, Him, INSANE,
As He'd, jump, out, of PLANES;
Sans Parachute, while, "WAVING 'BYE-BYE'"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The witch and zombie watch as we plant.
We hear their strange crazy Voodoo chant.
Alas, we are immune.
As they chant out of tune.
We laugh and laugh as they chant and rant.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 239,399 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
THE UNIVERSAL MONSTER ARMY is a Great FORUM,
All, of, Us, MONSTER-KIDS, Together, make a QUORUM;
With Interests, DIVERSE,
In a Classic Monster UNIVERSE;
If The WHOLE WORLD Joined, We'd have S'MORUF'EM!
;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 239,509 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EDWARD'S Hands were, all, "SCISSORY",
Despite Their Talent, some, MISERY;
Bravo, for Johnny DEPP,
He imbued, It, with PEP;
Making, it, a Fine Part, of FILM HISTORY!
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mummy named Parker.
Who was a killer and a barker.
He killed zombie Miles,
And was all big smiles,
As he wrote in red magic marker.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 239,700 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY became, quite, a GROUCH,
"They've stolen My FUNERARY COUCH;
I call, 'em, as, I see, 'em,
I'm, off, to the museum;
To fetch, it, back - of, This, I do VOUCH!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 239,710 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel:
MISTER HYDE was, Out, &, Running, WILD,
No Woman was Safe, from Being DEFILED;
His Methods were 'SHADY',
Yet, He did 'Love the LADIES';
&, was, Unaccustomed, to Being REVILED!
:angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 239,717 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
ITS VICTIMS could, not, Run, AWAY,
IT could, move, by Night, or, by DAY;
No "ORDINARY SLOB",
No, This, Is THE BLOB;
IT will Eat You, then, be, on ITS WAY!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 239,839 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
THE GHOSTS, of MANY, PAST, PEOPLES,
Oft, Seen, Floating, 'round Church STEEPLES;
With Their Graveyards, NEARBY,
They Enjoy a "Mid-Night, FLY-BY";
Scaring Onlookers, out, of, Everything, FECAL!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an old zombie named Nora.
Who wanted to circle dance the hora,
With mummy Dale,
They both did fail.
But not the nimble vampire, Cora.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 240,042 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ thrhrt
The SUN, once, more, began, to RISE,
As Its Golden Light, pierced The SKIES;
"If, not, for My CRYPT,
I'd feel, quite, GYPPED;
RENFIELD has, it, so, Easy, Eating FLIES!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil one named Jayden.
He was got at a monster child trade-in.
They had wanted that Mitch,
Made another switch
For the ghost of old Sterling Hayden.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 240,177 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF prowled the Night FOREST,
Hearing, all, the Dark sounds, in CHORUS;
One Sound, He DESIRED,
Kept His Blood-Lust, FIRED;
The Jugular Pulse, of His BELOVED, DORIS!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 240,240 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
PIRATE GHOSTS are The Bitterest DREGS,
Society's Wastrels; some Legs, are PEGS;
To Beg, was a CRIME,
So, instead, became SLIME;
Oft, found Their Fate, over POWDER KEGS!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch with bright red hair.
With the Zombie, she was having an affair.
It didn't turn out well,
She rang a magic bell
Turning him into a Windsor chair.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 240,420 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY had been The HIGH PRIEST,
His Ancient Egyptian Flock, He FLEECED;
Things remain The SAME,
Just, Substitute a New NAME;
He proved, Himself, to be a Horrible BEAST!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 240,524 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
'Twas a HAINT, like, NONE, would EXPECT,
MANNERS, Aside, not, Politically, CORRECT;
'Twas, literally, a BEAST,
Its Powers, INCREASED;
Whoever Imagined, The GHOST, Of T-REX?!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Mummy was wrapped tightly in lint.
As he shambled into our fresh mint.
Should we offer tea?
Will it make him pee?
Or just change our garden's bright tint.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 240,640 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ;)
Unearthed a MUMMY, looks, like, MICHELLE PFIEFFER,
Read Strange Hieroglyphs, Very, Hard, to DECIPHER;
She came, back, to LIFE,
Asked, to become My WIFE;
I visit Her Museum, but, sometimes, just, SKYPE HER!
:-* ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 240,740 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
Every MONSTER Requires a "CERTAIN FIXTURE",
Like, MR. HYDE, with His MADDENING MIXTURE;
For FRANKENSTEIN - ELECTRICITY,
DRACULA Renders a Story, BLOODY;
DORIAN GRAY: Chained, to His Tragic PICTURE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Peter.
Who would scare people by the meter.
He didn't care who,
He would just go BOO!
Then hoped that they were a tweeter.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 240,840 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
Although, THE VAMPIRE BREED is, quite, DURABLE,
They Lack 'CERTAIN TRAITS', Deemed, PREFERABLE;
It's, not, Preaching to The CHOIR,
To discuss Their 'Allergy', to FIRE;
A Fact, which, renders, Them, Patently, UNINSURABLE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 240,940 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
That Vampire, BOB, would eat HAY,
At, every, FULL MOON, He BRAYED;
"I hope, to PASS,
As A SILLY ASS;
So, My Victims, won't, be AFRAID!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Molly.
Who liked to haunt with her dolly.
She was very young,
With quite a sharp tongue.
Her hauntings were truly jolly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 241,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
Friday Night! So, Let the Weekend BEGIN,
Seek, out, BLOOD, of People, who, SIN;
The Sun, nearly, SET,
"Hail, Fellow, well, MET!"
We'll enjoy Nocturnal Flight, on the WIND!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 241,099 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
A Strange CIRCUS is Coming, to TOWN,
Full, of Aerialists, Elephants and CLOWNS;
But, the Carnival BARKERS,
Pursue JONATHAN HARKER;
Open, to, ALL, once, the Sun goes DOWN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 241,142 times)
;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'(
THE GENIE appeared, to grant me, ONE WISH,
I said: "I'd Love a Woman, who's, truly, a DISH!"
He gave, me, a HOTTIE,
Ohh, La-La, What a BODY!
Found, out, She's a MERMAID, One-Half FISH!
;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch named Monique.
Who was certainly an antique.
Her old spells went awry.
She fell out of the sky.
Landing on top an Arab Sheik.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 241,314 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
I remember, that Old WITCH, MONIQUE.
We, Long, Ago, played HIDE AND SEEK;
As a Funny, Little, KID,
She turned, into a SQUID;
Made Her Fortune, as a CIRCUS FREAK!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie from Kentucky.
Would thought that eating brains was yucky.
So he and his Betty,
Ate some red spaghetti,
Which was both silly and unlucky.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 241,421 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
A Gluttonous ZOMBIE ate, so, many, BRAINS,
It put, Him, right, on the EDGE, of, INSANE;
"Gaining, so, much, KNOWLEDGE,
I have, no, Need, of COLLEGE;
I can Open a School, other Zombies, to TRAIN!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 241,531 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
VAMPIRES Are Very ALLERGIC, To LIGHT,
To Avoid It, They Are Willing, To FIGHT;
Altho', They're UNDEAD,
It Makes Them 'See RED';
If, The LIVING, Tell Them: "Good NIGHT"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jonah.
Who would do anything for a Krona.
He killed old Bill,
And drained our Will
All for the small price of a Corona.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 241,599 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
The Giant MONSTER was composed, of CHALK,
Writing Its Story, as It conquered each BLOCK;
The Crew, that, followed, BEHIND,
Neither grew Grumpy, nor, WHINED;
Armed, with Erasers, wiped, out, the SCHLOCK!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 241,742 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Ever, since, I've "Grown, long, in the TOOTH",
'Tis odd, to say: "The Songs, of My YOUTH";
'Tho', an Official 'Old FART',
I Remain, 'Young, at HEART';
To LIVE, EVERNOW, By GOD'S Grace & TRUTH!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jean.
Who was turned when only a teen.
She played rock n roll.
And had eyes rimmed with kohl.
As she drained her high school mates clean.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 241,842 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE ZOMBIE HORDE Attacked The MUSEUM,
In Hopes, of some MUMMIES, to 'REDEEM';
They chewed, on Their SKULLS,
But, of Brains, They were NULL;
Just as well, if They had, They'd have SCREAMED!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 241,924 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
The lovely, young, VAMPIRE was SLEEK,
Enticed, all, the young men, to PEEK;
Demure, &, then, CRUEL,
She was Nobody's FOOL;
Made Her VICTIMS' Lives, rather, BLEAK.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Andy.
Who in his life was a real true dandy.
The wine would splash,
So he did dash,
To drain victims drunk on fine French brandy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 242,042 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
Poor RENFIELD was Forced, to Pay RENT,
To His small salary, it made a Huge DENT;
"A Man's Home is His CASTLE,
But, This Castle's a HASSLE!"
DRACULA doesn't know, where, He WENT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 242,124 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, NATE,
Who was Self-Conscious, when, out, on a DATE;
He felt, that, He LIED,
Made, Him, TONGUE-TIED;
So, His Chance, of a Second, was, Not, GREAT.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 242,242 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA'S Brow, It was, Perfectly, ARCHED,
EYES, Ablaze, showed His Throat was PARCHED;
Showing His most, Livid, FACE,
Damned Soul, without GRACE;
Towards His prey, with Single Intent, He MARCHED!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 242,382 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie LOL
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, CAROL,
She slept, Not, in a COFFIN, but, a BARREL;
She was, Oft, MOCKED,
Her Barrel was CLOCKED;
Doing 80, until She Flattened WILL FERRELL!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 242,500 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ >:D
There, once, was a WILL-O'-THE-WISP,
Who exhibited a most pronounced LISP;
He lived, in a Deep WELL,
A DOORWAY, to HELL;
It OPENED - He got Burnt, to a CRISP!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 242,599 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES Clan, a Plan, CONSORTED,
Opening a BLOOD BANK, as REPORTED;
Doing, as They saw FIT,
Drank, up, all, the PROFITS;
Just, found, out, They've been DEPORTED!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Mel.
Who loved to tell tall stories of Hell.
Of intense heat,
And roasting meat
All cooked by a zombie called Belle.
Zombie slandered us to our friends.
We all hope that he gets the bends.
He is so thick
His tales so sick.
Soon he'll need be wearing Depends.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 242,724 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~~~ :o
The Young WITCH Flew, By, with a "ZOOM!"
Broke the Sound-Barrier & Shook My ROOM;
This Younger GENERATION,
With "Speed INFATUATION";
Will, most, surely, Spell, ALL, of Our DOOM!
:o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Drac invited us all over to dine.
He offered us some of his rare fine wine.
There was a strange smell,
And then we just fell.
Into coffins made of the freshest pine.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 242,824 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRES' Motives seem, Quite, COLD,
I believe, it's, because, They're, so, OLD;
They sleep, beneath MUD,
All, night, Sucking BLOOD;
Which, tends, to make Them, Giddy & BOLD!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Miranda.
Who liked to haunt our verandah.
She would like to zing.
On our new porch swing.
While hugging a giant red panda.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 242,942 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral
THE ZOMBIE, His Wound, tried, to STAUNCH,
Else, He'd be a Meal, in Some Other's PAUNCH;
The Gash was, Too, DEEP,
And, His Viscera did SEEP;
Attracting Such, as would Savor His RAUNCH!
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 243,025 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The MONDAY SUN is, Slated, to ARISE,
As Dawning Light fills New-Born SKIES;
I'm, ahead, of My TIME,
To Complete this RHYME;
'Ere the Rays, from which, My Kind, DIES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The witch flew into the trolley.
And sat next to our friend Molly.
She seemed to be lost.
Then asked the cost.
Of the fare to get to Mali.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 243,143 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
THE GHOSTIES flew, 'round, Ye Old MANOR,
It looked, like, the WAVING, of BANNERS;
The Guests were, all, SPOOKED,
'Cos, Everywhere, they LOOKED;
WEIRD THINGS, to drive, them, BANANERS!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 243,222 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
The MONSTERS had decided, to LEAVE,
The Dungeon, with, so, much, to GRIEVE;
With Its Past, so, TRAGIC,
But, a Spell, cast, by MAGIC;
Granted, THEM, a Charming REPRIEVE.
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a monster named Frank.
Who was overdrawn at the bank.
He asked for a loan,
And was tossed a bone.
That was caught by the zombie Hank.
There once was a vampire named Graham.
Who told us that he was on the lam.
He asked if he could stay.
And said that he would pay.
In either blood or money, no scam.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 243,324 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF wandered the Ancient MOOR,
'Neath the Full Moon, Thoughts, of PLEASURE;
"Heck! Even, old, DRAC,
Would be One, Tasty, SNACK;
Bloody Bites, that, I'd, not, have to MEASURE!"
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 243,412 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
The ALIEN Horde invaded the EARTH,
Searching, for Females, to Give BIRTH;
To Interstellar SPAWN,
Then, They'd be, GONE;
Off, to other planets, of Greater WORTH.
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 243,500 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN'S BRIDE wore Her FORMAL,
As She met, and, then, Wed "ABBIE NORMAL";
No Intent, to be CRASS,
'Twas, a Most, Apt, ALIAS;
Choosing LIFE-After-Death, as a Pair-o'-NORMAL!
ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an old troll named Marty.
Who tended to be very farty.
All over the dell,
Floated that smell.
When he started to drink Bacardi
There once was a witch named Abby.
Who often was very shabby.
Even her broom
Won't go ZOOM
And her black cat became a tabby.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 243,734 times)
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
"Never, Ever, say, 'NEVER'", THEY SAY,
Be, it, On LAND, or, In OCEANS' SPRAY;
I'll be HORN-SWAGGLED,
My Mind is, so, BOGGLED;
My HEAD, Now, don't, Fit, My TOUPEE!
::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Anna.
Who attempted to drain our dear Nanna.
Nanna was plucky
And very lucky.
That her blood smelled of garlic banana.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 243 834 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE ZOMBIES wiped, out, The MOB,
Ate, 'Em, Up, like, CORN-On-The-COB;
They were, all, feeling, GREAT,
Until,They found, out, too, LATE;
They'd become a MEAL, for THE BLOB!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie from Dover.
Who we saw rolling in our clover.
He thought he was slick.
But we had a trick.
Which involved whizzing and Rover.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 243,843 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES Do, not, Really, "SLEEP",
They rent Coffins, to Earn Their KEEP;
Like, MATTRESS-TESTERS,
They, too, do, not, FESTER;
Hold Their Breath, by Day, not, a PEEP!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 243,943 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
They say, All, the VAMPIRES are DEAD,
With Poisoned BLOOD, They were FED;
I'm, sure, their Last THOUGHT,
Was: "BIG MESS, Of SNOT!";
And, I'm certain it made, Them, See RED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 244,044 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
The Phantom, ERIK, a wide Smile did BEAM,
His sad luck was turning, so, it would SEEM;
"Oh, my! It's, so, DANDY,
My own Brand, of CANDY;
Called: 'The Phantom Of The Opera CREAMS'!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil zombie named Grant.
With a bald head like a giant eggplant.
He would frail his arms,
And set off alarms.
As he continued his old boring rant.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 244,144 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA had a Craving, for PASTA,
Since 'Hangin' Out', with The RASTA;
He sent Renfield, to the STORE,
To purchase Some MORE;
Who, in reply, said: "Yes, MASTAH!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 244,200 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
In The Weird ANNALS, of THE UNDEAD,
Stands {?} The Drunken, Severed, HEAD;
We call, Him, MAX,
& Wish, Him, PAX!
On His Birthday, with Cake, be, He, FED!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 244,244 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ hmjfym
On a Brisk Stroll, through the ARCTIC CLIM,
Our Friend, The YETI, is Feeling, SUBLIME;
In a Mood, PLAYFUL,
He dances the MAY-POLE;
Then, carries, on, as a PROFESSIONAL MIME!
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Dracula said to the old Mummy,
"We really should become quite chummy"
Our power to kill
Anyone that we will
Then blame it on Zombie, the dummy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 244,344 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt
THE INVISIBLE MAN Proved a Real FINK,
Callously, helped, Himself, to My DRINK;
Despite, all, of My HELP,
That Miscreant WHELP;
Stole My Great Invention: INVISIBLE INK!
tynhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 244,444 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER Bellowed: "I'll give You, WHAT FOR!"
With Golf Club, in Hand, He, then, Yelled: "FORE!"
He gave, it, His, ALL,
Pity, That Poor BALL;
He had RUINED, THREE, This, was NUMBER FOUR!
ededed ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombie is thick as a plank.
They think that he's high on some crank.
With a head like a dome.
We wish that he'd go home.
Or harass the people of Burbank.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 244,544 times)
u6juu ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ u6juu
That MONSTER, called, STANLEY, The HORRIBLE,
Must Take, Us, ALL, for Being, quite, GULLIBLE;
He thinks We are FOOLS,
Insults, Us, as "TOOLS";
Whilst He Exhibits BEHAVIORS, DEPLORABLE!
u6juu ~~ :o ~~ ::) ~~ :o ~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 244,599 times)
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, LUCY,
Who Found, Blood, both, Yummy and JUICY;
She combined it, with MUSIC,
In Her Legend, as "Wild CHICK";
In Vampiric Liaison, with CLAUDE DEBUSSY!
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a warlock named Wayne.
Who was in love with the zombie Jane.
His spell to bewitch,
Turned her into Mitch.
And gave her a new tiny birdbrain.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 244,724 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA Dared The WOLF MAN, To FIGHT,
"I'm, so, Tired, of Your Claiming The RIGHT;
Best Me, 2-Out-Of-3,
&, I'll Set You FREE;
No, More, CURSE, with Its FIENDISH BITE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 244,777 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ hmjfym
There, once, was a Monster, made, of SLIME,
Its existence bore, neither, Reason, nor, RHYME;
Its poor Victims, CONFUSED,
Covered, by Gooey OOZE;
Until, They realized, They'd run, OUT, OF TIME!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The once was an old witch named Jackie.
Who was known to be very wacky.
Her lack of magic,
Proved to be tragic.
When killed by her familiar, Blackie.
There once was a vampire named Fay.
Who toyed with her victims, not fair play.
If they were young,
She gave them tongue.
Laughing as she sent them to their doomsday.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,024 times)
>:( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
I hate, when, You can't Scratch The ITCH,
Or a Computer's sick, with a Big GLITCH;
A Techno MYSTERY,
From Old HISTORY;
Like, an Evil Spell, cast, on It, by a WITCH!
>:( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,124 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
THE ELVES did BATTLE, with THE GNOMES,
In order, to SAVE Their FAMILIES' HOMES;
They were THE KEEBLERS,
And, in No Way, FEEBLER;
They taught those Alaskans, Not, to ROAM!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Gaspar the ghost, was haunting the dairy.
Where he came upon a lovely fairy.
Who loved chocolate milk
And her wings were soft silk.
He blew her a kiss, that was scary.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,245 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
That VAMPIRE HUNTER, named, BUSTER,
Necessary Skills, was, unable, to MUSTER;
"To Walk The WALK"?!
A Big LAUGHINGSTOCK;
A VAMP Attacked! He was, Lucky, to DUST 'ER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a werewolf named Phil,
Who grew tired and over the hill,
So each full moon phase,
He'd stalk the highways,
In search of delicious roadkill!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,354 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~~~ :blank:
THE ALIENS Rendezvous, in DEEP SPACE,
To Discuss, Clothing, of Silk, and, of LACE,
Interstellar DANDIES,
Make Yummy CANDIES;
In MAR'S Bars, which, no, one, can TRACE!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,444 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a GHOST, named, McCARNEY,
So, IRISH, He was "Topped, Off", with BLARNEY;
In Life, His Diet, so, BLAND,
When It got, Out, o' HAND;
Met His Fate: A Spicy Bowl, o' CHILI Con CARNE!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,542 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
So, Grateful, to have TWO KINGS, of The MACABRE,
BELA, and, BORIS, and, Neither, of, Them, a SLOB;
Their Fine CHARACTERIZATIONS,
Constant Cause, for ELATION;
Left Their Great Pairings, to make Our Hearts' THROB!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,624 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
A Sleepy, Sunday, MORNING, Now, APPROACHING,
I Feel the FIRST RAYS, of DAWN, ENCROACHING;
The Problem is, NIPPED,
Settling, into My CRYPT;
5-Hundred Years, On - Don't, need, No, COACHING!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a kosher ghost named Shelley.
Who haunted our local Glatt deli.
Salami on rye.
She would loudly cry.
And please turn up the sound on the telly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,724 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie LOL
A ZOMBIE, its Lunch, did HURL,
A Cascade, of parts, did SWIRL;
In His nearby NOOK,
They found a BOOK;
Titled: "How To Puke Up A GIRL"!
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,754 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~ :-[ ~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ :'(
DOCTOR FRANKENSTEIN tried, "To PERFECT",
His Relationship, which, He had WRECKED;
For, there was, No, MONSTER,
Had He been, more, CONCERNED;
Would've, known, to show LOVE and RESPECT.
:o ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~ :-[ ~~~ ededed ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Tammy.
Who wanted to see her dear old Grammy.
She gave her a surprise.
And appeared at moonrise.
Now her Grammy is cold and all clammy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,858 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
"For, now, We see, through, a glass, DARKLY,"
Yet, No, Reason, We must Behave, 'SNARKY';
As LOVE Lives, ABOVE,
Let's try Peace & LOVE;
Take Our Lead, from Dear RICHARD STARKEY!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 245,912 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :angel:
THE ZOMBIE is SCARY Piece, O' MALARKEY,
And, Not, EXACTLY, "A Walk, In The PARKY;
They "turn, on a DIME",
Yet, 'tis, No, CRIME;
Wishing Happy Birthday, to PAUL McCARTNEY!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombies shambled out in the rain.
With hopes to cause us much pain.
Betsy showed them her rack,
And lured them on the track.
Then along came an express train.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,024 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
I, once, knew a SPECTRE, named, JOE,
Who, in The Dark CASTLE, did, GLOW;
Otherwise, Not, Too, BRIGHT,
The "Resident NIGHT-LIGHT";
To Distinguish a FRIEND, from a FOE!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,064 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
"You, Humans, Love the 1st DAY, of SUMMER,
Our Vampire breed says: 'what a BUMMER!'"
"This Day is The LONGEST,
We're, not, at Our STRONGEST;
Caught, in the Sun, We won't, even, MURMUR."
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a creepy ghost named Patty.
Who in her living life was real catty.
She's quite a kook.
More than a spook.
And even her haunting is so batty.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,162 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE Reeled, with DELIRIUM TREMENS,
Due, to Feasting, on the DRUNKS, in BREMEN;
"It's, really, quite, SAD,
I think, I've been 'HAD';
Such, A Shame, All, the Tee-Totallers are WOMEN!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,246 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
FEARFUL VILLAGERS carried Their TORCHES,
In the Dark Night, through Fen and MARSHES;
The MONSTER, They SOUGHT,
Amid GRAVEYARD ROT;
Yet, preferred, to be Home, on Their PORCHES!
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a smart genie named Jan.
Who lived big in a large garbage can.
Bigger than a bottle,
Or even a pottle,
Plus she had a crush on the trash man.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,346 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ je7u6ker6 ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, HEDY,
She liked BLOOD, as SAUCE, on SPAGHETTI;
"I love, it, in STRUDEL,
Or, on any NOODLES;
I drank it, from a KRUEGER, named FREDDY!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ je7u6ker6 ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch named Maryanne.
Who was in love with Sam the wolfman.
Things went from bad to worse.
She put them in reverse.
And used magic to send him to Japan.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,426 times)
thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS, ONCE, THREW A PARTY,
ALL, Attended, Even, DOCTOR MORIARTY;
A Surprise, He'd INFUSE,
Into Their BOOZE;
Left, 'Em, breathless, w' Laughter & FARTY!
thrhrt ~ ededed ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ tynhrt ~ ededed ~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,505 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER was BATTERED,
Arose, from the Ordeal, Clothes, All, TATTERED;
The Villagers got a PEEK,
Of His Massive PHYSIQUE;
A Young Woman, Whistled, He was FLATTERED!
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,546 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE SNOWMAN was, ABOMINABLE, TRULY,
In MATTERS, Most, CRASS, and, UNRULY;
He Lived, In A LAND,
Sans, Helping HAND;
Ashamed, of His Lot, Mimicked TOM DOOLEY.
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a warlock named Ray.
Who was in love with the witch Fay.
On her broom they'd ride.
And had lots of pride.
As she gave birth to little May.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,624 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
CAL, The ZOMBIE had Teeth, made, of WAX,
They would Break, off, whenever, He'd ATTACK;
He'd, bravely, enter a FIGHT,
But, with, Really, NO, BITE;
His "Success Rate" was Considered, Too, LAX!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,700 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
'Tis an Interesting CREATURE, the WURDALAK,
A Type, of VAMPIRE, with Immeasurable TACT;
Spends, most, of Its TIME,
As a Professional MIME;
Due, to Its Name's Meaning: "WORD, I LACK"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The once was a warlock named Billy.
Who just thought that his name was silly.
There is no shame,
In any name,
So he changed it to Dilly Willy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,777 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-*
This WEEKEND'S Hours are, FLEETING,
Another One has taken a BEATING;
*Appropriate PUN*,
Great MONSTER FUN;
Soon, Another One, We'll be MEETING!
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,824 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE BEHEMOTH crawled, out, of the CRATER,
Made, Deep, in the EARTH, by that METEOR;
HE Tried, "To Blend, IN,
Not, Be MIND-BENDIN';
He Dressed, Up, and, Got a Job, as a WAITER!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch named Sally.
Who entered a motor rally.
She mounted her broom,
But when it went VROOM
They all raced to the wrong valley.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,924 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
The TWILIGHT Lingers, Longer, for NOW,
Whilst SUMMER'S Sun is our 'SACRED COW';
Until, Shorter, by SECONDS,
Then, by Minutes, I RECKONS;
We'll 'Fall Back', into Long Nights: KA-POW!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 246,977 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ Zombie Razz
There, once, was a GIANT FROG,
Who started, out, as a POLLYWOG;
He, never, SPOKE,
Until He CROAKED;
He's buried, now, out, in The BOG.
Zombie Razz ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ :'( ~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a troll named Murray.
Whose vision was very blurry.
He wanted the ridge.
By the new bridge.
But ended up going to Surrey.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,074 times)
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-*
"I'm going, to SMITE YOU", She SAID.
"Until I have Proof, that, You're, DEAD!"
"Shortly, after DAYLIGHT,
I'll get, on, with My SMITE;
& with This Stake, pin You, to Your BED!"
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,142 times)
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE VAMPIRE Woman felt Her Neck, GRIPPED,
When She Attempted, to Exit Her CRYPT;
Nearly, came, to BLOWS,
Then, Suddenly, FROZE;
As a Nasty STAKE, through Her heart, RIPPED!
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a lonely ghost named Joan
Nightly she would grunt, groan and moan.
She was very scary,
And panicked poor Mary.
Causing her to flee to old Bayonne.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,247 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES Love Their LIQUID DIET,
A Coffin, by day, offers Peace and QUIET;
Turn, into a WOLF or a BAT,
Wear a Cape and TOP HAT;
If it intrigues You, why, don't, You TRY IT?!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,274 times)
:-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-*
THAT 50-FOOT WOMAN was a WHOPPER,
On a RAMPAGE, Impossible, to STOP HER;
She Sought REVENGE,
Caused His life, to END;
She was, Finally, Killed, by The COPPERS!
:-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a grumpy ghoul named Ron.
Who took the side of the Zombie Don.
Without knowing facts
Or valid contracts.
He gave to all a free brains coupon.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,347 times)
:-[ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ :'(
THE INVISIBLE MAN was, "Down, in The DUMPS,
At The GYM, He couldn't see His Muscles PUMP;
"I know, I'm getting, BIGGER,
But, I can't see My FIGURE!"
His Emotional 'Nose-Dive', put, Him, in a SLUMP!
:-[ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Norm.
Who made hunting victims an art form.
Decked out in mauve,
He was just so suave,
As he sang and danced up his blood storm.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,447 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, RON,
He remained, Outdoors, to watch the DAWN;
"I'm, Not, UNDEAD, I'm an ELF!"
{He made an Ash, of HIMSELF}
... Not, enough, BRAIN, to match His BRAWN!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE QUEEN, ZELDA, Stood, DEFIANT,
Forcing Her Slaves, to be, Very, COMPLIANT;
Her 'Agenda'? Quite, SIMPLE,
Just, like, Popping a PIMPLE;
Drink Their Blood, upon, which, She's RELIANT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,559 times)
;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
THIS, IS *REPLY* NUMBER, FIVE-THOUSAND!!!
A LANDMARK, for, which, I've Been, CHOSEN;
So, Much, In STORE,
At, Least, 5,000, MORE;
On Our Limerick Ship, with FLOWER, My BOSUN!
;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,624 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, DRAC,
Who was, Well-Known, for His Absence, of TACT;
An Eye, for The LADIES,
Sweet, MARY O'GRADY;
He turned, Her, since She had "Great TRACTS"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an Ogre named Bill.
He lived far away, under a hill.
His life was jolly,
Then he ate Molly,
And got sick and so very ill.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,674 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ hmjfym
There, once, was a MUMMY, named, ROD,
He was Blessed a, Really, Strange, BOD;
Said, He, with GLEE,
"Every Part, of ME;
Resembles a Pablo Picasso Portrait: 'ODD'!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,777 times)
:-* ~~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~ ededed ~~~~ :angel:
THE MONSTER was, Burnt, by the FIRE,
Shambled, into the Quicksand QUAGMIRE;
Undying, He LEARNED,
He'd, Ever, Be SPURNED;
How He Yearned, for The Celestial CHOIR!
:-* ~~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~ ededed ~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a monster named Chester.
Who wanted to marry Aunt Esther.
He gave her a ring,
She started to sing.
Then he told her marry Fester.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,874 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :-*
THE WEREWOLF Bit, into His Victim's THROAT,
Just, missed, Her Jugular Vein, Worthy, of NOTE;
He had "The Upper HAND",
That HIRSUTE VILLAIN!
Now, 30 Years, Married, it's Her Turn, to GLOAT!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 247,974 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE CREATURE was, Truly, BEGUILED,
As His Eyes beheld, Maiden, So, MILD;
Worked, into a LATHER:
"I, Alone, Must Have HER!"
Such, Mad, Desire drove, Him, WILD!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt
VAMPIRES have, Only, ONE, WISH,
A Desire, described, as, 'GHOULISH";
Willing, to Travel, AFAR,
By Plane, Train, or, CAR;
For Human Blood, Their Favorite DISH!
thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch named Jenny.
Who needed to spend a penny.
She drunk too much wine
And was in a bind
Until she was saved by Benny.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,084 times)
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
The STORM, that Night, was, TORRENTIAL,
FEARSOME, in its Horrifying POTENTIAL;
It seemed, all, the WHILE,
To support 'life', most, VILE;
To escape death, was, Most, PROVIDENTIAL!
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,124 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Ye Ghost Knight lay, down, His Sword & SHIELD,
"My Centuries, of wandering, tonight, REPEALED;
No, longer, a BLIGHT,
I, Now, See THE LIGHT;
&, Whence, I Enter IT, I shalt, Fully, Be HEALED!"
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This morning we saw the witch's spawn.
We wondered what she was doing at dawn.
They traded brooms
And chanted dooms.
Under a strange spell from Zombie Shawn.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,228 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Our Founding Fathers, The Revolution, WINNING,
Gave, to us, LIBERTY, on it, Their hopes, PINNING;
We lose, some, &, Win, SOME,
Life's Humbling CONUNDRUMS;
Sad, to Think, They're, in Their Graves, SPINNING.
:angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,284 times)
:o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D
THE EYEBALL was, HUGE, REALLY, BIG,
From OUTER SPACE, Looking, for a GIG;
IT came, from a STAR,
Said: "Come as You ARE";
In Hollywood, hangs, with PORKY The PIG!
:o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Pete.
Who started to melt in this heat.
Oh what a muddle.
He's now a puddle.
For ghouls and trolls to wash their feet.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,384 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY Tried, On, a New SUIT,
Adding Some, Nice, Leather BOOTS;
"I'll Look, WELL-READ,
In Cool, New, THREADS;
Maybe, Now, Chicks, for Me, will ROOT!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,444 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
There, once, was a GHOST, named, SUE,
Who Married a ZOMBIE, named, BRUCE;
A Remarkable PAIR,
With a Dynamic FLAIR;
& a Time-Share, in an old, BLUE SPRUCE!
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Storch.
Who was prone to lurk on his front porch.
He would tender bids,
And scare all the kids.
As he aimed to fire his blowtorch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,518 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :blank:
As the Night falls, Alive, and, CHILLING,
Beasts awaken, to Thoughts, of KILLING;
Howls, 'neath the MOON,
That Grew, Full, too, SOON;
To the Bars, where Victims are SWILLING!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, CLARK,
To Whom, being UN-DEAD, was a LARK;
He'd turn, from a BAT,
Into a Suave ARISTOCRAT;
As WOLF, prove A BITE, Worse, than, A BARK!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombie dyed her hair bright red.
Would it get her brains or just dead?
She didn't look snuggly.
Just so very ugly.
As she destroyed our flower bed.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,624 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE MUMMY Yelled: "KICK OUT THE JAMS!"
DRACULA indulged His Love Affair, with SPAM;
THE WEREWOLVES were ROCKIN',
Whilst ROBERT, was BLOCHIN';
As KHARIS Surfed, Over, The ASWAN DAM"
hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,700 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
Beware, of The Great GIANT APE,
Or, The Odious, MARTIAN GRAPE;
Their Gaping GULLETS,
&, Worse, Their MULLETS;
Remind, Me, of SEVERUS SNAPE.
Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a ghost named Buddy.
Who in life was pretty cruddy.
He tried to make amends.
But just gave us the bends.
As his messages were muddy.
There once was a vampire named Josh.
Who told all his victims "Oh my Gosh!"
"Now don't have a fit"
"It will hurt a bit"
But I need to have my midnight nosh.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,777 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
THE MONSTERS can be, so, OBTUSE,
They Seek, HUMANITY, to CONFUSE;
Oh, They 'Take a Few, OUT',
But, are, Known, to POUT;
When Taken, to Task, for such ABUSE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Mad
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,848 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, BUBBA,
Whose claim, to fame, was playing the TUBA;
He, literally, INHALED,
Those, who'd been JAILED;
Most Famous Meal? One, known as DOUBYA!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a rich vampire named Beck.
Whose had a motto that was 'What the HECK?'
Don't be so weary,
I love you dearly,
Give me your blood and I'll pay the whole check.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 248,984 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, STU,
who, famously, gave the Devil, His DUE;
As, part, of His CURSE,
He'd turn, into a PURSE;
Biting Women, who, didn't, have a CLUE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 249,120 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
I, once, Slew a VAMPIRE, named, ROD,
Started, off, with a Big, CATTLE PROD;
To say, it, was SHOCKING,
It Prevented His MOCKING;
Finished, up, by setting Fire, to His BOD!
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G
Moving on with the Zombie Files,
They stacked their brains in neat piles.
In the parking lot,
They started to rot
And you could smell the blood for miles.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 249,249 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
The HAINT, in our House, was DEMENTED,
'Twas The SPOOK, of a Resident, CEMENTED;
BONES, between the WALLS,
DANCES, down the HALL;
WOKE, UP, to The REAL LIFE and REPENTED!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 249,319 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ thrhrt
"Quick! We must, Fly, to Our CRYPT!"
"Dumb Zombie, just, bit, off, My LIP!"
"I, didn't, realize, it WAS,
One, of Our UNDEAD CUZ;
"So, We must cut, short, Our TRIP!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Herb.
Whose wife rudely kicked him to the kerb.
He knew he was wrong,
And sang her a song.
That made werewolves howl "DO NOT DISTURB"
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 249,429 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
I've been Knocked, Down, by a Mighty, Big, FELLA,
Who bore a Very STRONG RESEMBLANCE, to BELA;
He was, bitten, by a SPIDER,
Whilst Wolfing, Down, SLIDERS;
His Spider-Induced Spasms, Dubbed: "TARANTELLA"!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 249,524 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
The DRIFTING SNOWS Block, Out, The VIEW,
Of "THOSE BEINGS", as THEY come, after YOU;
In Landscape, DISORIENTING,
Sad Cause, for LAMENTING;
You Awaken, Wearily, to Realize: It's, All, TRUE.
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
PAINo the witch was by our back door.
Keeping her away is quite the chore.
She rips up our flowers
With her evil powers.
And then quotes the Raven "NEVERMORE"
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 249,649 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE Moaned: "It's My Predestined FATE!"
"My Plea was: 'STOP'! But, She Refused, To WAIT;
Hungry Smile, then, a BITE,
I was, too, weak, to FIGHT;
I turned, into a VAMPIRE!... Hey, Wait! It's GREAT!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We saw the Zombie walk down our street.
Carrying a bag filled with fresh meat.
She left a bloody trail.
Alas, it was a fail.
As the Wolfman sniffed out her brainy treat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 249,794 times)
;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
"DEE-ZOPPA, BE-BOPPA, POPPEREE!",
Said The SPIDER, unto The FLEA;
"I don't COMPREHEND."
"Are you, on the MEND?"
At this SPIDER Chortled, with GLEE!
;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 249,888 times)
>:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'(
There, once, was an Angry, Old, WITCH,
She birthed, a WEREWOLF, named MITCH;
He was SOFT-SPOKEN,
But, not, HOUSE-BROKEN;
She Punished, Him, oft, with a SWITCH!
>:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 250,000 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE YETI Drove His SNOWMOBILE,
His Fingers, Numbed, Couldn't FEEL;
The night was FREEZING,
He was, just, TEASING;
Leaving Prints, no, one, thought, REAL!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
For Zombie is at the end of his game.
His terror would never be the quite same.
Drac took him to court,
Where he came up short.
Then he told the witch that she was to blame.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 250,152 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Greatly Desired MISS MINA,
He Was Endeavoring, Something, OBSCENE;
He'd been "Loosey-GOOSEY",
With Poor, Sweet, MISS LUCY;
HARKER saw DRAC, as "Stealing The SCENE"!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 250,250 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE Clan can be, quite, FLIGHTY,
With Voluptuous Women, in Their NIGHTIES;
Men, in Their TUX,
You're, out, of LUCK;
Especially, if you say the Words: "BITE ME!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We saw Zombie, a monkey in his arms.
The thing was screeching, setting off alarms.
Trollie took it away.
To live another day.
As the villagers took up their firearms.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 250,350 times)
ededed ~~~~~ 8) ~~~ ededed ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ededed
DOCTOR PRETORIUS got Blitzed, on GIN,
"My Only Weakness is, more, like, a SIN."
"I, just, cannot, help, IT,
Nor, preach, from the PULPIT;
When 'Sauced', I have one, wicked, GRIN!"
ededed ~~~~~ 8) ~~~ ededed ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a mean witch named Minnie.
Who had red hair and was far from skinny.
She sat on Jack,
And broke his back.
Then blamed it on my great Aunt Ginny.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 250,525 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER climbed, to The MOUNTAINTOP,
Sheer Sides; Easily, a THOUSAND-FOOT DROP;
It, all, seemed, a DREAM,
His Fans came, to SEE 'IM;
So, He opened a B'n'B with a Souvenir SHOPPE.
ededed ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies were having such bad dreams.
We could all hear their ungodly screams.
May their dreams come true.
And no one will be blue.
When they drown and are eaten by breams.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 250,625 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym
PRINCE KHARIS was, brought, Back, to LIFE,
With the Express Purpose, of Finding His WIFE;
No, Cup, of SANKA,
For Princess ANANKA;
Sacred TANA Leaves, to end, all, Their STRIFE!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 250,725 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN, across the ARCTIC, did TRUDGE,
RANKLED, by Human Prejudice, Held a GRUDGE;
"They hate Me!" He SAID,
"Wish I had a DOG-SLED;
Or, that, They hadn't been, so, quick, to JUDGE!"
ededed ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Dennis.
Who invented lawn and brain tennis.
Brains over the net.
Would win you the set.
And a date with your choice of menace.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 250,852 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE COUNT Bit My BOOKIE,
Thus, Crumbles, Yet, Another, COOKIE;
He looks, like, ELMER FUDD,
With FANGS, out, for BLOOD;
Happier, too, Scoring UNDEAD NOOKIE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 251,025 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE VAMPIRES were a CURSE & a BLIGHT,
Beyond the VILLAGERS' Ability, to FIGHT;
They Called, Out, to GOD,
HE did, Something, ODD;
Destroyed The UNDEAD, in Early DAYLIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a witch named Lizzy.
Who was often in a tizzy.
Her spell went awry.
She's now in Shanghai.
Drinking a brew that is fizzy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 251,125 times)
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt
THE MUMMY was, Bitten, by an ASP,
To which, He replied, with a RASP;
"I, ain't, in DENIAL,
Ain't 'Queen Of The NILE';
And, I'm, Way, Past, My Last GASP!"
:o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 251,251 times)
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'(
THAT NIGHTMARE was, Only, BEGINNING,
With THE MONSTERS, Perpetually, SINNING;
By Using Brute FORCE,
As a Matter, of COURSE;,
They Killed, Off, All, Sane UNDERPINNINGS!
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
They watched as the evil zombie Queen,
Tried to suck the genius brains of our Jean.
But our Jean was too quick,
The Queen just got a lick.
Of some bath salts laced with pure benzene.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 251,352 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :blank:
The LYCANTHROPE King was a WARRIOR,
Indeed, by Full Moonlight, much, FURRIER;
No "Captain KIRK-ER",
A Raving BERSERKER;
Turning, All, of His FOES, into WORRIERS!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a monster named Jake.
Who stole our beloved Easy Bake.
He took our pink oven,
To trade to a coven.
In hopes that they'd make him a cake.
Yay for this thread! May it live long and prosper.
8)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 251,651 times)
u6juu ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-*
SOLDIERS' BLOOD Flowed, Deep, making a TRAIL,
The Poor WOUNDED were, DYING, So, Very, PALE;
Some ANGELS were NEEDED,
Their CALLINGS, They HEEDED;
YAY, CLARA BARTON & FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE!
u6juu ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 251,780 times)
::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ C:)
There, once, was a WITCH, named, McCLEARY,
Who told, all, the Folks: "You must FEAR ME!"
Convinced, She, was NUTS,
They got, off, Their BUTTS;
With Cement Booties, Sank, Her, in LAKE ERIE!
::) ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ C:)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Rudy.
Who had and loved married the fair witch, Judy.
They danced at dawn.
And ate many prawn.
Until they were feeling very broody.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 251,925 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA reached, the Age, of CONSENT,
"Two-Hundred, and, Ten Years, without a DENT!"
"Sometimes, Touch, and, GO,
Avoiding Crosses, that, GLOW;
It flew, by, so, fast, I don't know, where, It WENT!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 252,052 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Censored
THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE is a DISEASE,
A VIRUS, Passed, by a BITE, or, a SNEEZE;
You Go, Out, Of Your MIND,
Then, Wake, Up, feeling FINE;
But, Forgotten, where, You left Your KEYS!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Censored
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie got up before the dawn.
Just to rip up our flowers and lawn.
It is a pity.
We called the city.
They will use brains to defeat his brawn.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 252,152 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :blank:
A JOY, of WEREWOLVES, is Our PELT,
Soft & Shiny, Wonderful, when, FELT;
I Won the LIVES,
O' My 1st 5 WIVES;
At a Touch, of My Fur, Hearts, did MELT!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 252,252 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, Once, was a MONSTER, of SLIME,
Who moved, North, from a Tropical CLIME;
In the Harsh WINTER,
It Froze & did SPLINTER;
Begging: "Brother, can You spare a DIME?"
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 252,352 times)
ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
Amidst, all, the Gloom & Rainy DRIZZLE
The Mad Doctor sewed Organs & GRISTLE;
Then, 'The Spark, of LIFE',
To Re-animate His WIFE;
Sadly, Sometimes, Experiments, FIZZLE.
ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Mummy named Dwight.
Who wrapped his linen way too tight.
He could only shamble
And fell in a bramble.
Some how getting a strange blight.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 252,500 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, VICKI,
Drank Blood, from Her Victim, Poor, MICKEY;
His Blood, IRON-POOR,
Left Her wanting, MORE;
Because, It tasted, so, sweet & was STICKY!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 252,615 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :o
We carried that old Coffin, from its TOMB,
Setting, It, down, in a Brightly-Lit ROOM;
Came, off, without a HITCH,
But, the Corpse, of the WITCH;
Was Gone, by evening! So, was Her BROOM!
:o ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Last night we set out some monster traps,
As we sat under our safe tent flaps.
Caught a zombie and witch.
Plus the vampire Mitch.
And celebrated with shots of schnapps.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 252,752 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE TRIFFIDS Arrived, and, were SQUATTERS,
Devouring the Humans, Sons and DAUGHTERS;
The END, was, so, NEAR,
But, the Solution, to FEAR;
Was, to Spray, THEM, down, with SEA WATERS!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 252,875 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :-*
Van HELSING found DRACULA'S WIVES,
He cut, off, Their Heads, with His KNIVES;
While They were 'SLEEPING',
He did This 'HOUSE-KEEPING;
Which, Them, of Their Blood-Lust, DEPRIVES.
:angel: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a crazy ghost named Barry.
Who used to haunt my dear brother Larry.
He stole his best pants.
And filled them with ants.
On the night before he was to marry.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 252,952 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ;)
MERLIN invoked MAGICKE: "ABRACADABRA!"
"I command you, to rise, off, of that SLABRA!"
The Body, RE-ANIMATED,
Appeared, to be FATED;
To Fashion Candle-Holders, i.e.: CANDELABRA!
:o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 253,053 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ u6juu
THE ZOMBIE mumbled, sadly, "I'm DONE!"
"Eating, just, Brains aren't, what, I'd call, FUN;
I miss eating CANDY,
&, sometimes, Miss MANDY;
'Til their Boyfriends attacked Me, with GUNS!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ u6juu
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies tried to invade our dear home.
Good thing that it is protected by a Gnome
Who swiftly cut them down,
And put them in the ground.
Burying them deeply under loam.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 253,202 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRESS applied, to be, an AU PAIR,
In Child-Care, She could, let, down, Her HAIR,
As She, only, worked, at NIGHT,
None, of the Parents did BITE;
So, She did, instead! Their Worst NIGHTMARE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 253,253 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, MABEL,
She could pass, as the Twin, of BETTY GRABLE;
For a, mere, Quarter a PIC,
Your Neck, She would LICK;
Then, finish the Job, for Free, in The STABLE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The new Zombies are really frightening.
We pray that they are hit by stray lightning.
It is their sad norm.
To be in the storm.
But the laws against them are tightening.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 253,435 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE ZOMBIES made a Huge MESS,
Their Cannibalistic mode, RELENTLESS;
You'll pardon My PUN,
"We need a Bigger GUN!"
So, Their hellish Brains, We can BLESS!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 253,532 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
That, Vampires follow, a 'life', KINETIC,
Doomed, to search, Trails, PERIPATETIC;
It's, clear, as, MUD,
Addicted, to BLOOD;
Their Limited Loop, equals, "PATHETIC!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Beware of the ugly evil crone.
She's back and her cover is now blown.
She has many faults.
Is licking bath salts.
And stays in the zombie crazy zone.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 253,652 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRES weren't, very, NICE,
Spreading Plagues, of Rats & LICE;
High, on Their STANK,
Robbed the Blood BANK;
The Sanguine Liquid was PARADISE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 253,852 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :-* ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
There, once, was a BEING, from SPACE,
Who Liked, to Use the MONIKER: "ACE";
Earth women He HUSTLED,
But, was OUT-MUSCLED;
He found, out, He was Allergic, to MACE!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :-* ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There seems to be a crazy monster club.
Screaming at midnight in a big hot tub.
They woke up old Mary.
She is very scary.
As she jumped in and joined them for a scrub.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 254,042 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :'(
THE OLD GOBLIN said, to THE GNOME:
"I wish, We were, on the Path, HOME;
So, long, We've been, LOST,
That, I'm counting the COST;
Yes, I, Certainly, Miss ANCIENT ROME!"
:'( ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ :'( ~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 254,154 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
THE VIKING GHOST hit My head, with a MACE,
I Believe, in an Effort, to re-arrange My FACE;
He did, not, SUCCEED,
All, I did, was, BLEED;
So, He drank a Cup, then, Left, in DISGRACE!
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
For the Zombies there will be no pardon.
'Cause all the damage done to our garden.
We will take that creep,
And bury him deep.
Before his foul brains begin to harden.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 254,254 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
Haunted, by the GHOST Girl, SERAPHINA,
Whom I met, in That Decrepit CANTINA;
Couldn't tell, She was DEAD,
She was Very WELL-READ;
She had, Hoped, to become a BALLERINA.
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 254,452 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
Forward and Backwards, the SAME,
Monsters can, either, Kill, or, MAIM;
These Numbers, FLY,
When Eye cross My I's;
A PARADIGM, for a PAIR, O' DAMES!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ ::) ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a silly ghost named Katie.
Who decided to relocate to Haiti.
There were Zombies to taunt.
And many places to haunt.
Plus all Haiti's ghosts were very matey.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 254,645 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE, Miffed, Expression, quite, STERN,
"Mine Enemy, of late, My COFFIN, Hath BURNED!"
"'Tis, not, too, LATE,
To VACILLATE;
I shalt Repose, the Day-Light Hours, in an URN!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Brady.
Who would loudly scream and shout 'HEY LADY!'
They thought he was Jerry,
But he was too merry.
And even in the dark he was shady.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 254,972 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
PUMPKIN SEASON is, About, to APPEAR,
JACK-O-LANTERN FACES {&, not, a REAR!}
Funny, or, SCARY,
We use HARA-KIRI;
Remember: Don't drink, too, much, BEER!
:blank: ~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 254,985 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
FREDDIE was an Eerie, Olde, WRAITH,
Who was Killed, whilst using a LATHE;
He looked, for THE LIGHT,
And, Found, IT, One NIGHT;
He moved, on, in LOVE, filled, with FAITH!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 255,055 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
DRACULA said, to His Victim: "Why, hello, my DEAR!"
"I am, sure, You remember, just, Why, I am HERE."
"Your Bloody Thirst, to SLAKE!"
As She Impaled, Him, on a STAKE!
His Last Words: "I should've gone, out, for a BEER!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
McNasty the witch did appear.
Now we are all quaking with fear.
She is so very strange.
We stay out of her range.
And pray that she'll soon disappear.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 255,155 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY Proved, He's, really, a BADDIE,
So, Upset, as He's, not, called "THE DADDY";
Times have, sure, CHANGED,
MUMMIES are DERANGED;
Book Him, into a Nice Cell, that's PADDED!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 255,255 times)
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
There, once, was a GIANT PISTACHIO,
Known, to His Friends, as HORATIO;
Sans Mouth, or, GUTS,
They labeled, Him, "NUTS";
Got Crackin', &, Fed Him, to PINOCCHIO!
;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Wizard sold us a magic charm.
He said it would keep us safe from harm.
That all monsters would flee,
And we would dance with glee.
Until it set off our smoke alarm.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 255,425 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE LADY,
Who was, known, as, MARY O'GRADY;
With Her fine, IRISH LILT,
She was, powerfully, BUILT;
Loved the Blood, of her Victim, BRADY.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 255,505 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :angel:
"You can't Teach, an old Dog, new TRICKS",
But, You can Learn, some, new, Musical LICKS;
These Human BRAINS,
Prove, We're INSANE;
Especially, when, Inventing NEW LIMERICKS!!
:'( ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Missy.
Who looked lovely, sweet and very kissy.
Until she would pout.
And her fangs came out.
Her victims all knew her as Ms. Hissy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 255,555 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
ERIK, The OPERA GHOST, sawed, on, His FIDDLE,
Whilst CHRISTINE DAE, Her thumbs, did TWIDDLE;
Her Rescuers, THWARTED,
Their Hopes, ABORTED;
By Fiendish Plan, They were, Trapped, in the MIDDLE!
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 255,705 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, MIKE,
Who was, quite, Agile, when riding a BIKE;
When, within RANGE,
He'd bite Peoples' BRAINS;
'Twas, Something, that, Most, did, Not, LIKE!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie monkey named Mel.
Who used to live in an old haunted dell.
Mel moved to the city.
Tis was such a pity.
He was evicted because of his smell.
(Saint Denis, 3rd century)
There once was a French bishop named Denis
The Roman Governor thought him a menace
Although they beheaded him in sword style
He picked up his head and walked for a mile
Now he's the patron saint of Paris
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 255,777 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
That ZOMBIE, BOB, Bit, out, My KIDNEY,
As I Drove, around, in My New JITNEY;
Yanked, it, right, OUT,
I gave a Loud SHOUT:
"Adieu, to you, you, and, you, all, I Bid YE!"
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 255,925 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLVES were, out, Hunting PREY,
As The FULL MOON'S Glow, lit Their WAY;
Teens, in LOVER'S LANE,
No thought, in Their BRAIN;
That, They could end, up, as Dinner, or, WORSE.
:blank: ~~~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a silly witch named Ginny.
Who would cast any spell for guinea.
But there was a quirk.
Spells that didn't work.
That would summon up an evil Jinni.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 255,955 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE MONSTER Fell, off, of the CLIFF,
Attempting, a Giant Boulder, to LIFT,
To crush, Those, BELOW,
Like, Bowling Pins, in a ROW;
Instead, it was Him. What's the DIFF?!
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 256,052 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
The NIGHT was, becoming, too, THIN,
For That Breed, with "Sensitive" SKIN;
I know, it sounds, LAME,
But, They burst, into FLAME;
As a Fitting Way, to Pay, for Their SIN.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies gave us yet another laugh.
Brainless, they pulled off another gaffe.
Accosting our friends.
For their evil ends.
And gave themselves a super sized shaft.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 256,156 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ???
There was, once, a MERMAID, from MURMANSK,
Who said: "My JOB is a Big, TASKLESS THANKS!"
"My Friend, The Good FAERIE,
Has, likewise, become, WARY;
Since, the WORLD is, now, driving more, TANKS!
:-* ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 256,300 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
I know, this, somehow, sounds, LAME,
In the RUSH, of my morning TIME-FRAME;
With, under, an HOUR,
To Eat, Write & SHOWER;
If this is under-cooked, I take the BLAME.
:'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The sorceress had strong magic power.
All the evil ones should run and cower.
Zombies are doomed
As Justice loomed.
Strong magic protected us in our tower.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 256,500 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE arose, from His CRYPT,
Said: "You deserve, to be WHIPPED!"
"Not, only, a BORE,
You, also, SNORE;
My Curse is, Worse, I feel GYPPED!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 256,562 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D
They told me, IT came, without WARNING,
The Pure Shock, of Trouble, ABORNING;
An Unexpected THREAT,
Now, they're, in My DEBT;
A Fresh Limerick, exploded, this MORNING!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We decided to finally take a stand!
Thus we chopped off the evil Zombie's hand.
It continued to flicker.
But we couldn't bicker.
Cheering against evil, this was well planned.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 256,700 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, CRAZY MAISIE,
A Legendary Crypt-Potato, inherently, LAZY;
Thought, of, as, HALF-BAKED,
Until, She got STAKED;
Her Ghost is, Happily, Pushing, Up, DAISIES!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 256,825 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
I added, GARLIC, to Replace, The CHIVES,
Instead, of Wooden Stakes, SILVER KNIVES;
A Sumptuous MEAL,
To 'Seal The DEAL';
Entertaining, My Draining, of Dracula's WIVES!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a pair of evil wizards.
Who ate mainly fried lizards and gizzards.
We cast a spell.
Now all is well.
As it turned them into DQ Blizzards.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 256,925 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS Love, to CAROUSE,
In Dear, Old, FRANKENSTEIN'S HOUSE;
Such, "GOINGS-ON",
From Dusk, until DAWN;
Then, Specialists, come, in, to DELOUSE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 256,956 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ???
Tomorrow, Already, is FRIDAY, AGAIN,
As, "OFF", Another Work-week, we FEND;
A Two-Day SANDWICH,
Then, back, to the DITCH;
FIVE, More, Days, our senses, to OFFEND!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,007 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, MEG,
Considered, to be, One, of Society's DREGS,
She'd start, off, Sweet & FLIRTY,
Then, get "Low, Quick & DIRTY";
On Occasion, known, to chew, off, Your LEG!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an evil vile creature.
That had not one redeeming feature.
We fed him to the troll.
Who ate him with a roll.
Now this term we need a new teacher.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,057 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, MEL,
Who 'lived', 'neath the Town's Church BELL;
Being, of The UNDEAD,
He'd, oft, use His HEAD;
To beat, against It, the Sound, for, to QUELL!
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,157 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Censored
I, Once, knew a ZOMBIE, named, MEL,
Who Emitted, a Most, Horrible, SMELL;
"I'm Proud, that, My STENCH,
Felled DAME JUDI DENCH!"
"Pardon, My FRENCH, but, It's HELL!"
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Censored
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an old monster named Fred.
Who wanted to eat our uncle Ted.
We offered Zombie Mel.
But it didn't go well.
And the monster still needs to be fed.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,257 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
The HAUNTED HOUSE, in Town, stands, FORLORN,
In decrepit Decay, Its Warmth and Vitality, SHORN;
GHOSTS live, there, They SAY,
One, even, Stole My TOUPEE;
As Regards This Meeting, of Ours - Let's ADJOURN!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,317 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a BIG, BALL, Of SLIME,
Oozing His way, into My town, this TIME;
"I'm, not, Your LOVER,
But, I've got You COVERED!"
ABSORBING Drama & a Heinous CRIME!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a kooky ghost named Belle.
Who married the farmer in the Dell.
So, maybe once or twice
As they danced with the mice.
She washed their little feet in the well.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,375 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
ROB, THE ZOMBIE, was, in Need, of a NAP,
All, of His Energies, had, been, SAPPED;
He felt, He could SNOOZE,
He had, Nothing, to LOSE;
'Til His Head was, Ripped, Off, with a "SNAP"!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,475 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :-[
There was a Strange Witch, named ESTELLE,
Who was, never, able, to do, anything, WELL;
She'd "get, in Her LICKS",
By, trying new TRICKS;
They'd backfire, on Her, or, so, I've heard TELL.
:-* ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a sweet witch named Cora.
She lived close to my dear Aunt Dora.
They loved to prance.
While in a trance.
As the garden danced with magic flora.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,572 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER crawled, out, of The DEEP,
Surrounded, by a Flock, of Frightened SHEEP;
He dropped his KNIFE,
He saw His Future WIFE;
Lovely Lass, too, known, as LITTLE BO PEEP!
ededed ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,657 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a Crazy, Old, BAT,
Who lived, in a Beat-Up TOP HAT;
He'd fly, out, at NIGHT,
Necks, He would BITE;
'Til, INEVITABLY, He got, Too, FAT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The tale of May, the witch, shall now commence.
She was guilty of more than one offense.
Should she be boiled in oil?
Or be wrapped in tin foil?
And tossed to the Zombies over the fence?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,752 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE CAT AND THE MOUSE Played some POKER,
The CAT, from His HAT, Pulled THE JOKER;
Quite, upset, The MOUSE,
Said:"No cheating, you LOUSE!"
And, played THE BATMAN Card, of BRAM STOKER!
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,757 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
THE BLOB said: "It seems, sadly, My FATE,
My Anxiety gets, high, as I Gain WEIGHT!"
"I see Food and Eat IT,
Then, Again, Repeat, IT;
Perhaps, I should consider a BARBITURATE?"
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,857 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ;D
The POLITICAL WORLD is our Saddest SHAME,
To most, of the Players, It's, One, Big, GAME;
Their Impenetrable CIRCLE,
Reminds, me, of STEVE URKEL;
FAMILY MATTERS, with Someone, to BLAME.
;D ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a monster named Trump.
Who was crazy and quite the grump.
All he does is gloat.
His brain a dust mote.
He belongs in the garbage dump.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 257,975 times)
>:( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~~~ >:(
FU MANCHU was, feeling, quite, GLUM.
"I could, really, use, some, DIM SUM."
"Murder and TORTURE,
Hasn't, much, FUTURE;
I'm Bored, to the point, that, I'm NUMB!"
>:( ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 258,058 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE MUMMY'S Last Words: "GEE WHIZ!"
Drank a Soda Pop, with, too, much FIZZ;
This made, Him, FART,
Which blew, Him, APART;
Another BOFFO, Ending! That's SHOWBIZ!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We watched as Paino the witch lurked.
And when our morning coffee perked,
On her broom we poured glue.
So when away she flew.
We hope that she's stuck and it worked.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 258,158 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
And, Who, can forget MISS MINA?!
She is, Truly, One, Spicy, LATINA!
She found His CRYPT,
But, She, really, FLIPPED,
DRACULA wooed Her, on His CONCERTINA!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 258,358 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
THE ZOMBIES were, in, great, DISTRESS,
They'd made, such, a HORRIBLE MESS;
"Shopping", for BRAINS,
Drove, Them, INSANE;
"We're Stupid, if, We call, This, PROGRESS!"
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a warlock named Joey.
Who tried to impress a witch, Zoe.
He waved a magic feather.
That changed all of our weather.
And that is why it is so snowy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 258,625 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt
I'm, out, for a FRIDAY NIGHT BITE,
ALCOHOL gets, Me, 'High, as a KITE';
The Blood, of a DRUNK,
Leaves, Me, like, a SKUNK;
STUPID... So, I want, to pick FIGHTS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 258,800 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
The GHOST, of famed Roman Senator, TIBERIUS,
Found the Political Sphere, quite, MYSTERIOUS;
That, His opinions, VOICIN',
Led, Directly, to POISON;
And, that, Some Folks, are, Way, Too, SERIOUS!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This morning we had to call the police.
Will this vile Zombie horror ever cease?
In hell they will burn.
For killing our Fern.
Hopefully, their numbers will soon decrease.
Be very wary of Irish Limericks Ahead
Constantly pops up when recent posts are read
It is so amazingly sad
That people can write this bad
I wish the Admins would kill this thread
(http://wtf.sunfox.org/vendredi/clapping-crowd-applause.gif)
Of course, they have every right to post
though they are more frequent than most
it's a cross we must bear
with this thread we must share
how many rhymes we must read with the word "ghost"
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 259,159 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
We're "FAMOUS UNKNOWNS", Coast, to, COAST,
Feel, ever, Free, to Feast, on Our LIMERICK ROAST;
A Strange, Verbal, DANCE,
Uncommon, in FRANCE;
Herr Hussman knows, here, We "Give, Up, The GHOST"!
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 259,345 times)
??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~ :'( ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o
One day, I met a Strange MAN,
Who said, that, He knew RODAN;
He was, not, LYING,
I started CRYING;
As IT appeared, I turned & RAN!
??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~ :'( ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Morris the vampire made it clear.
That we really had nothing to fear.
He came to the deli
To fill up his belly.
And only wanted a bagel and schmear.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 259,559 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ :angel:
A Thousand, more, Views about, to WRAP, UP,
So, many, Brains, Our LIMERICKS, CORRUPT;
They, can't, be REPLACED,
No, Accounting, For TASTE;
ZOMBIES won't Bite Them, They THROW UP!
:angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 259,859 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-*
THE MARTIANS have Conquered Our WORLD,
Their Vile PLAN, like, Their Flags UNFURLED;
They've needed The EARTH,
Our Women, to give BIRTH;
Since MARS, has, long, been: "UN-GIRLED"!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombie is ranting and raving.
Could it be our brains that he's craving?
Trollie saved the day.
He lured him away.
Under the dirt the city is paving.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 259,999 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
A MUMMY and a ZOMBIE got MARRIED,
Right, off, the BAT, Life became HARRIED;
'Tho', Good FRIENDS, YES,
Way, Different, AGENDAS;
They had a BIG SPAT; One, got, BURIED!
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
:-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 260,100 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES went, "ON HIGH ALERT",
They posted The SENTRY, named, BERT;
To stave, off, the THREAT,
Which had, not, arrived, YET;
Such MEASURES, They deemed, CURT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Solly.
Who was in love with my dear Aunt Polly.
She turned him flat down.
For a circus clown.
But introduced him to Zombie Molly.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 260,240 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, QUINN,
But, His "LIQUID DIET" left, Him, quite, THIN;
So, He ate some BURGHERS,
& Charged, with Their MURDERS;
Ate the Judge and Entire Jury, for the Big WIN!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 260,340 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, MIKE,
Who, unable, to FLY, Chose, to Ride a BIKE;
He could 'Pop a WHEELIE',
It made, Him, feel, so, FREE;
While Drinking the Blood, of DICK Van DYKE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Phil.
Who floated into our bar and grill.
It was the wrong venue.
He looked at our menu.
Then left with our lovely waitress, Jill.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 260,482 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There was an evil VAMPIRE, named, MOLLY,
People shuddered, and, said: " Oh, GOLLY!"
The Worst, of The BEST,
Hailed, from BUDAPEST;
They stopped, Her, with a Stake, of HOLLY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 260,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
A VAMPIRE robbed the BLOOD BANK,
Got Busted, 'cos His Breath, STANK;
An UNDEAD CREATURE'S,
Distinguishing FEATURE;
So, now, We know, Who, to THANK!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
(https://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/421x431q90/923/hqNaHG.jpg)
The wolfman said that he was sick
So he needed just a little lick.
I know I'm hairy.
And very scary.
I promise to be very quick.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 260,690 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ;D
There, once, was a GIANT BALL, Of SLIME,
Slurped up, the Populace, a Major CRIME;
Takes, too, long, to RELATE,
I, can't, Pay the FREIGHT;
But, Lookey! My Limerick stops, on a DIME!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
(https://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/421x431q90/923/hqNaHG.jpg)
The vampires all thought it ironic.
That the mortal could be so moronic.
Not to heed their warning.
Soon he shall be mourning.
And wish that he wasn't so sardonic.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 260,910 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
The ZOMBIE NERD went, out, to find "GRUB",
Who Lived, in the BODY, known, as, BUB;
He aimed, for the BRAIN,
But, missed, it, AGAIN;
He's legendary, for a thing, called, THE FLUB!
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
(https://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/344x358q90/924/01bLdo.jpg)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 261,002 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The NIGHT had been, all, but, BANISHED,
With The VAMPIRE'S Work, UNFINISHED;
Had, Her, in His GRASP,
To feel Her Last GASP;
SUN Arose - Vile Creature, just, VANISHED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A demented Big Gimpy Ghoul
Every day, would annoy as a rule
He'd Stop at each forum
And Proceeded to bore them
Then limp back to his hole full of stool
The Zombies will pay for their offenses.
On those charges, they have no defenses.
Slaughter and slander,
Oh how they pander.
They have bankrupt morals and expenses.
So lonely is the old dead soul
Who comes seldom out of his hole
He has one little groupie
Who cleans up his poopie
Then hold hands and go for a stroll
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 261,122 times)
;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-*
I Welcome Young Maceo1's WORK,
Another Limerick Artiste, added, PERK;
The Name, of The GAME,
Is Good Humor, We CLAIM;
This Offer, stands, to, All, Who LURK!
;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Like Van Helsing I sound the alarm
This simple ploy works like a charm
Let him type all he wantsta
While inside stays the monster
And keeps the playgrounds from harm
The Zombies and their monkey spawn.
Screamed and yelled, they woke us at dawn.
Old vampire Mort,
Said 'take them to court'
Then sweep their brains onto their lawn.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 261,277 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
A MUMMY took, just, One, More, CHANCE,
Attempting, to Learn, the Newest DANCE;
He spun, like, a TOP,
Body-parts flew, OFF;
Not, to mention, His Shirt and His PANTS!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
(https://mereinkling.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/chimp.png?w=580)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 261,387 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF, was, out, on the PROWL;
'Neath the FULL MOON, let, out, a HOWL;
He ignored the FACT,
Of His being TRACKED;
At, last, put the BITE, on SIMON COWELL!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
(http://boardofwisdom.com/cachetogo/images/quotes/171859.png)
The Zombies are now feeding a skunk.
Paino the old witch is stinking drunk.
We asked the Troll.
What is their goal?
He told us, it was some sort of bunk.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 261,500 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
I've DECIMATED, Most, of My GARDEN,
Reminds, Me, of, Dear, Old, EVE ARDEN;
Weeds, like, Political CROOKS,
Could use "Our Miss BROOKS";
Instead, Their Stench, Of Greed, A-FARTIN'!
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Was forced to see Abe's Tomb
A tortuous place of gloom
No talent, found anywhere in it
Could barely sit through a minute
Should be flushed in the nearest restroom
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 261,599 times)
;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :-[
The MAGIC, of CINEMA, can Be LOST,
When no one is Counting The COST;
Some, conquer the WORLD,
Others, may make you HURL;
For, All, the Hard Work, STAR-CROSSED.
;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 261,680 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE YETI Refused, to Leave, HOME,
"No, I have, No, wish, to visit, NOME;
I've been, there, BEFORE,
That Trip was, such, a BORE;
I had a, Much, Better, Time, in ROME!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/7e/7e/3e/7e7e3eddf77ba8b50ba972db25dc1922.jpg)
There once was a zombie so filled with hate,
Who tossed bloody old brains over our gate.
So, we can not lie.
We wish he would die.
But will leave him to his preordained fate.
(https://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1317051712978_9808514.png)
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 261,810 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
DANNY, The ZOMBIE was an Ornery, Old, CUSS,
HUNGRY, for Brains, He would, Run, after US;
A Nasty, Old, SHMOE,
Glad, He was, so, SLOW;
I Blew His Brains, out, with My BLUNDERBUSS!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 261,912 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
500th BIRTHDAY; what could DRAC GIVE HER?
He threw a Grand Party, Her GIFT, to DELIVER.
At the Masked BALL,
One Man stood TALL;
Took Her Heart, with a Sharp, Wooden, SLIVER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a crazy ghost named Mabel.
She used to haunt our dear uncle's stable.
Then she had a chat.
With the old barn cat.
And left to haunt a house with a gable.
(http://www.asktheheadhunter.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/sucks-so-bad-300x145.jpg)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 262,052 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ededed
THE MAD DOCTOR, the Wires, did CONNECT,
All, was, in Readiness, Everything, PERFECT;
He threw the SWITCH,
Old-Fashioned & KITSCH;
From the table, arose, the PRESIDENT-ELECT!
ededed ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
(http://christianpoliticalparty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Americans-Learning-to-Live-with-Treason.jpg)
The sick Monster was a clicking clock.
It was time for us really take stock.
Who would foot the bill,
For this necessary kill?
What we need is a Ghoul with a Glock.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 262,322 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
That Ghoulish, Old Fellow, blew, SNOT,
Smelled, just, like, 10-Year Old ROT;
I, now, must CONFESS,
He won Our CONTEST;
I tried, hard, but, just, went, to POT!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Evan,
Who petitioned to enter sweet Heaven.
When they turned him down,
He had a big frown.
Went crazy and killed the dwarfs, all seven.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 262,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-*
The UNDEAD were, Holding, Their BREATH,
They'd, Not, Done, So, since Their DEATH;
"We'll Be 'Making The SCENE',
'Twill, Soon, Be HALLOWEEN!"
Which, I, Too, will Celebrate, with My BETH!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
McNasty the witch and the zombie Queen,
Ranting and raving by our window screen.
Spreading rumors this day,
For their slander they shall pay.
And on their humble abodes is a lien.
The wizard lent us his magic wand.
So that we could contact the beyond.
We did our best
And passed his test
But he still tossed us into the pond.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 262,827 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
That VAMPIRE, EVAN, grew a BEARD,
Resembled, a WEREWOLF; How, WEIRD!
He Poisoned 7 DARTS,
To Kill, All, the DWARFS;
All, Seven, from Heaven, just, SNEERED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 263,111 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
"My Tummy, Aches!" Said DRACULA, SADLY.,
"I Ate a STEAK; Things, turned, out, BADLY."
"It was a Stupid BET,
Yes, I Won, but, YET;
My Digestion is, BEHAVING, Quite, MADLY!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Foul Zombie changed his name to Blackie.
Then applied to be Drac's new lackey.
Drac gave a howl.
Said 'You're too foul.'
But would you care for a nice ackee?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 263,222 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
THE ZOMBIE had Remembered His NAME,
When The MIRROR Reflected His SHAME;
But, 'Life', Moves, ON,
When Humanity's, GONE;
APPETITE, The New Cause, of His FAME!
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 263,400 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
THE ZOMBIE had Remembered His NAME,
Yet, swore, that, he was, not, to BLAME;
"I didn't make a WISH,
Or, Eat, any, FISH;
It, just, Illuminated My Brain, like, a FLAME!"
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a lonely ghost in Mali.
Who went to join a haunting in Bali.
It was quite a feat.
When she booked a seat.
Next to the ghostly Salvatore Dali.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 263,451 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
FASHIONS are, Fickle, They "COME And GO",
"In", for a Moment, Then, "Out", They THROW;
70's Monster RETRO-THREADS;
FLUORESCENT Greens & REDS;
Why, even, DRACULA'S Cape, is in 3-D DAY-GLO!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 263,510 times)
thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym
As The VAMPIRES Bite My NECK,
The ZOMBIES Feast, on My DECK;
My House, OVER-RUN,
By MONSTERS & PUNS;
Life is, Hard, but: What The HECK!
thrhrt ~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies, witches and monsters spill jive.
They are known as the slander house five.
Soon they will be hushed,
Then they will be crushed.
We are betting that none will survive.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 263,599 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE MONSTER TWINS; One, named, POLLY,
Decided She'd Torture, Her Brother, TOLLY;
It was, so, OBSCENE,
Cooked, Him, with BEANS;
She ate, him, too! Her GAS was, pure, FOLLY!
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 263,799 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
It was Time, to Sound The ALARM,
The ZOMBIES took, over, The FARM;
Run, Humans, RUN!
Don't forget Your GUN;
It will, keep, You, Free, from HARM!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombie is getting much meaner.
He tried to eat our new house cleaner.
But not on this day.
She had magic spray.
And turned him into a big wiener.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 264,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
BARON MEINSTER was portrayed, by DAVID PEEL,
Needing Brides, seemed, like, such, a BIG DEAL;
Then, Van HELSING, ARRIVED,
Whilst The UNDEAD, THRIVED;
Until He Saved The Day, He was, nearly, a MEAL!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 264,152 times)
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The Bishop, of ZOMBIES, wears a MITER,
Like, the Rest, of His ILK, He's a BITER;
So, "Hat's, off, to YOU",
Means, You're, in His STEW;
Unless, You CONFESS, You're a FIGHTER!
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a lonely witch named Hester.
Who fell in love with the court jester.
It did not go well,
So she cast a spell.
Turning him into Uncle Fester.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 264,315 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym
KING KONG Fought & Killed The GIANT EEL,
He didn't, like, the way, IT made, Him, FEEL;
More, than, ECLECTIC,
It was, Fully, ELECTRIC;
Strong, enough, to cause His Skin, to PEEL!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 264,514 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRES, in Night-Time, do FEED,
WEREWOLVES, 'neath Full Moon, are FREED;
"UNNATURAL!" They SAY,
But, They like, it, That, WAY;
"Co-Creating", to make a Perfect HALF-BREED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Jace.
Who tried to get into our new place.
He saw the cross.
Between the moss.
And we laughed at the look on his face.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 264,745 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The MORNING, Ran, on, into The NIGHT,
The Time, of MONSTERS, Now, Who BITE;
I dread the VAMPIRES,
I Roast, Them, on FIRES;
They say: "I'm Dead! I say: "Quite, RIGHT!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Zombie Mommy,
Who was vile and very balmy.
She was oh so vain.
And very insane.
As she fed her spawn brain pastrami.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 265,075 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
No matter, what, the News may SAY,
There is, still, Reason, for, All, to PRAY;
Nature has, gone, INSANE,
We need, to Ease, the PAIN;
&, by Our Actions help, all, to be OKAY.
:angel: ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 265,200 times)
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
WOW! Already, SEPTEMBER, The TENTH,
I'm Clueless, as, to where, Summer, WENT;
I'm, Dumbstruck; AMAZED,
Autumn's arriving, UNFAZED;
My BRAIN Needs HALLOWEEN'S FERMENT!
:o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 265,210 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel:
The FRUITS, of This SUMMER, are, DYING,
TOMATOES, All, Picked & TIME Is A-FLYING;
Next Year, Y'ALL,
In a Nod, to FALL;
I"ll grow PUMPKINS & Gourds, for DRYING!
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 265,215 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
The GHOST Exuded, from Its GRAVE,
She Resembles My First Wife, MAEVE;
Looking, So, GAUNT,
The Better, to HAUNT;
At Least, No Blood, does She CRAVE!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We all are going to be more than thrilled.
When all the zombies are dead and killed.
There is now a firm plan.
To keep them off our land.
And then all our prayers shall be fulfilled.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 265,321 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY was, ANGRY, and, HURT,
"THE OSCAR went, to ERNIE and BERT!"
"I gave, it, My BEST,
&, now, Loudly, PROTEST;
They're PUPPETS! I'm Treated, like, DIRT!
hmjfym ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 265,455 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, MATT,
Who was, Bitten, by a Rare, ZOMBIE, BAT;
It happened, one, NIGHT,
Which started His BLIGHT;
A Career Change, upon, which, He grew FAT!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an odd Wizard named Dave.
Who lived in a magic crystal cave.
We asked for some help,
He gave out an yelp.
And told us we were foolish, not brave.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 265,599 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, MULLER,
Whose FANGS, just, got, DULLER and DULLER;
"I must put, up, a FIGHT,
For each and every BITE!"
"I Confess, I'm, horribly, Addicted, to CRULLERS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 265,717 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
There, once, was a NASTY, OLD, GHOUL,
Who swore, He was "NOBODY'S FOOL"!
Then, ZOMBIES INVADED,
What is, Next, INTIMATED;
Is, He's, Now, part, of Somebody's STOOL!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Dean.
Who only chose victims who were clean.
Some he gave a bath,
Others his wrath.
He was fussy and not at all mean.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 265,855 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
I remember that ZOMBIE, named, DAVE,
His Poor Victims, We'd, attempt, to SAVE;
Not, often, too, LUCKY,
We'd remain, PLUCKY;
He's, always, Hungry, for what He CRAVES!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 265,959 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE GHOST BRIGADE Marched, Off, to WAR,
But, Forgot, What, They're FIGHTING, FOR;
Old Habits are TOUGH,
To Break, but, ENOUGH;
They'll Remember, 'cos, there's, Plenty, MORE!
tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombie wore a wig, what a giggle.
It ate bad brains and started to wiggle.
Dancing a jig,
She lost the wig,
And started to scream, rant, rave and jiggle.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 266,155 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
The Distraught GHOST Roamed The MOORS,
But, He'd, rather, be Shopping, in STORES;
He was, in Need, of a JOB,
Teamed, Up, with The BLOB;
In The MALL, after-hours, Mopping FLOORS!
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a Vampire named Frank.
We met him while on line at the bank.
Frank hated zombies too.
We asked him what to do.
He told us to whack them with a plank.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 266,599 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
I couldn't get, in, here, last NIGHT,
Computer, in some kind, of BLIGHT;
Learned, just, This MORNING;
Of Basil Gogo's ADJOURNING;
New Sorrow, to Monster-Kids' PLIGHT.
:'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Paino the witch is such a creep.
And makes all the alarms go beep.
She is that crazy,
Plus very lazy,
We hope that she finds the big sleep.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 266,745 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The Coffin creaked, open, last, NIGHT,
THE UNDEAD seek Food and a FIGHT;
To prove, They're, SUPERIOR,
They get Eerier, and, EERIER;
Until, You force, Them, into DAYLIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 266,825 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :'(
The GIANT MONSTER was FIFTY-FEET, AROUND,
Size & Weight Measurements, meant, to ASTOUND;
IT could've been, a TEACHER,
Yet, ITS, most, unique, FEATURE:
IT ate ITS Students! That's, quite, some, RENOWN!
:o ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was an odd monster named Ray,
Who hated the zombies named Gray.
He would never pardon,
Damage to his garden.
Thus he killed all zombies this day.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 266,930 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
There, once, was a MAGICAL FISH,
Who, if, caught, would Grant 1 WISH;
Our Bargain was MADE,
With our Wild ESCAPADE;
He ended, up, Cooked, on My DISH!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Ahead (Read 267,070 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
The MONSTER was, Trapped, in the FIRE,
He was, sure, that, He heard Angel CHOIRS;
Then, the Fire was, DOUSED,
By His Bride, who was, SOUSED;
So, He built, Her, Her own FUNERAL PYRE!
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie accosted my uncle Meyer.
And tried to toss him into the fire
But Meyer was strong.
So it didn't take long.
Until Zombie was in the pyre.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 267,218 times)
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The Meanest MONSTER, that, I, ever, FACED,
Was a Vile CREATURE, with a Lack, of TASTE;
'Twas, about, MIDNIGHT,
When, It, tried, to BITE;
So, I Crushed Its SKULL, into TOOTHPASTE!
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Witch and the Zombies are so dumb.
More than brain dead, their senses are numb.
We caught them on tape.
They can't escape.
And have I.Q.s less than most pond scum
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 267,447 times)
:-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :'(
There, once, was a MAIDEN, so, PRETTY,
From the Country, She, NOT, the CITY;
When, at last, She ARRIVED,
For, awhile, She THRIVED;
But, was Devoured, by ZOMBIES; a PITY!
:-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Tooker
Who was tall, gaunt and not a good looker.
She went after meals,
Tittering on heels.
As she fell into a pressure cooker.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 267,672 times)
:-* ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
There was, Once, a GENIE, from SPAIN,
Whose MAGIC was, in Producing RAIN;
She'd Grant 3 WISHES,
+ a Free Set, of DISHES;
This STORY is, from PUBLIC DOMAIN.
:-* ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 267,717 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :angel:
When We were, Young, We were, WILD,
In late Middle-Age, We're, quite, MILD;
As, LOVE'S, Ever, STRONG,
When, Things, go, WRONG;
LOVE keeps, Us, from feeling, DEFILED!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 267,820 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;) ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
We are, not, so, Very, Far, AWAY,
From Celebrating Our Favorite DAY;
From Our COUNT, DOWN,
To Our "Man, About TOWN";
HALLOWEEN is 6 Weeks, from TODAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;) ~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie and the Witch walked into the bar.
Neither of them was going to get far.
We tossed them out.
They looked about.
As they both stumbled into a boxcar.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 267,957 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE reported, more, VIM,
As, in Their BLOOD, She did SWIM;
"They were, such, FOOLS,
Their Blood, Fills, My POOL;
See? It keeps, Me, Lovely & TRIM!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,000 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
LIMERICK MAGIC happens, Here, a LOT,
Even, if: "YOU DON'T KNOW SQUAT!"
Limericks are RIDDLE-Y,
Not, unlike, BO DIDDLEY;
The BEST, of Them, cannot be BOUGHT!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~ ;) ~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,088 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
SEPTEMBER 22nd, Starts The New AUTUMN,
TIME, Left, if, You've, not, yet, BOUGHT 'EM;
To The COSTUME STORE!
For MONSTERS, GALORE!
The ZOMBIES, Abound! FRESH, or, ROTTEN!
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We cried when the Zombies came to town.
They turned happy smiles to a frown.
The Mummy had a plan,
And called the Klu Klux Klan.
Giving them a choice to hang or drown.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,186 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
As this Last Day, of Summer, CLOSES,
Shorter days add, to Our NEUROSES,
We dread Longer NIGHTS,
More, Hours, for Their BITES;
With the Fiendish Curse, It, DISCLOSES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,245 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
TODAY IS, The FIRST DAY, Of FALL,
As MONSTER-KIDS, Let's, REJOICE, Y'ALL;
We'll Vent HAPPY SPLEEN,
Up, to ALL-HALLOW'S E'EN;
With MASKS & COSTUMES, from The MALL!
:angel: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a burley wolfman named Mack.
Who said 'i really need a hardy snack'.
A zombie won't do,
They are hard to chew.
Maybe I'll just roast a tender young yak.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,368 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
THE WEREWOLVES Attacked THE UNDEAD,
Tearing, off, LIMBS, Biting, off, HEADS;
No, time, to SHOUT,
'Twas a Total ROUTE;
Two SURVIVORS, shivering, under My BED!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,386 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D
TODAY, is The BIRTHDAY, of GENERAL TERRY,
He got a Set, of FANGS, from the TOOTH FAERIE;
From VAMPIRES, CULLED,
& WEREWOLVES, of OLD;
When, IN, looks, like, the GIBB Kin, named BARRY!
;D ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The leprechauns picked up a new drone.
They few it over a danger zone.
It was a great bargain,
Bought in Killargon.
To knock the zombie queen of her throne.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,500 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~ ededed ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN Whistled a Very, Old, TUNE,
On His Midnight stroll, 'neath The FULL MOON;
WEREWOLVES, ABOUT,
Too, CALM, to SHOUT;
His Music Charmed, Them, out, on the DUNES!
ededed ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~ ededed ~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Mickey.
When it came it victims, he was picky.
They had to be lean.
And so very clean.
Or he won't even give them a hickey.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,599 times)
Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
TWO ZOMBIES were Eating a CLOWN.
"Strangest Meal, I've, ever, FOUND!"
"I'd tend, to AGREE,
It Tastes, FUNNY, to ME;
Especially, His NOSE! It's, So, ROUND!"
Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Mummy said "Put away your purse."
"You can not buy off my ancient curse"
"Don't call out for Rover."
"Your plush life is over."
A doctor won't help, nor would a nurse.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,628 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
A SWAMP MONSTER, made, out, of WOOD,
Attacked the SMALL VILLAGE, Not, GOOD!
Their Treat was a TRICK,
Dropped, a Ton, of BRICK;
Perfect Trap & Fire, Set, just, as, it, SHOULD!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,680 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :angel:
THE LUCK, OF THE IRISH, is, quite, FICKLE,
Ofttimes, NOT, Worth a PLUGGED NICKLE;
The HIDEOUS TRUTH:
Plant a BABY RUTH;
It turns, up, Not, as a Potato, but, a PICKLE!
:'( ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~ :o ~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,685 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA Enrolled His Kids, in SCHOOL,
Disruptive, They were thought, to be FOOLS;
Gave the Teacher 'the SHAKES',
By Unleashing SNAKES;
Spend Their time, astride DUNCE'S STOOLS.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Zombies tried to detect our motion.
But we had a special magic potion.
Soon they were all zapped
And then they were trapped.
Before dumping them all in the ocean.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,770 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
"OUR HOLIDAY IS COMING!" THEY SAY,
A Year, apart, seems, So, FAR, AWAY;
But, Nights, turning, COOL,
Fine, for GHOST or GHOUL;
"Trick or Treat", so, you won't have to PAY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,800 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
THE ZOMBIES have stolen My PLANTS,
It gave Them, ANTS, In Their PANTS;
They Twitch and JIVE,
Just, like, They're ALIVE;
Causing a Viral Dance Craze, in FRANCE!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The monster was so ugly, and gaunt.
On high wobbly shoes she would flaunt,
What she had for sale,
But would always fail
As she wasn't a vessel for a jaunt.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,888 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
The Evening Fog added Its GLOOM,
Enshrouding Gravestones & TOMBS;
Masking The UNDEAD,
So, They'd get AHEAD;
Sealing Unsuspecting Victims' DOOM!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 11 times)
I know there's a man in the moon
He looks down like a lonely cartoon
He flies his night kite
in the dark side of light
Whilst whistling a lunatic tune
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 0 times)
There once was a toothless old Goon
Aging badly and crazy as a Loon
Found a lonely dried up Date
He asked, "would you be my Mate?"
Now together they share cat food with a spoon
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 268,938 times)
:o ~~~ chain_saw ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'(
The Magician sawed his Assistant, in HALF,
The Audience, stunned, began, to LAUGH;
"Oh, the trouble, it, BRINGS,
'Going Half', on EVERYTHING;
Imagine the Challenge, of taking a BATH!"
:o ~~~ chain_saw ~~~ ::) ~~~ :-* ~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 2 times)
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The bee buzzed round the clock,
The clock struck five ,
She went to her hive,
Hickory Dickory Dock!
There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
Who never had more than a penny;
He spent all that money,
In onions and honey,
That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
There was an Old Man with a flute,
A sarpint ran into his boot;
But he played day and night,
Till the sarpint took flight,
And avoided that man with a flute.
There was an Old Man who supposed,
That the street door was partially closed;
But some very large rats,
Ate his coats and his hats,
While that futile old gentleman dozed.
There once was a hunchback named Gash Neville.
Who had a deal with 'Old Nick' the devil.
If he could play the harp.
And take something sharp,
His evil would ascend to a higher level.
There once was a wonderful star
Who thought she would go very far
Until she fell down
And looked like a clown
She knew she would never go far.
There was an Old Man of Quebec,
A beetle ran over his neck;
But he cried, 'With a needle,
I'll slay you, O beetle!'
That angry Old Man of Quebec.
Quote from: Maceo1 on September 27, 2017, 05:10:25 AMThere was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
Who never had more than a penny;
He spent all that money,
In onions and honey,
That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
Unless you're Edward Lear you're plagiarizing.
http://www.dltk-kids.com/crafts/miscellaneous/mlear-limerick-kilkenny.htm (http://www.dltk-kids.com/crafts/miscellaneous/mlear-limerick-kilkenny.htm)
:o
Do it right or not at all.
>:(
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/General%20Album%203/General%20Album%203001/Halloween%202_zps0is4c8rw.jpg)
There comes once a year the dark fest Halloween
With tricksters and treaters not other times seen.
Scarecrows and witches, plus sometimes a ghost
In masks by Ben Cooper and even Don Post.
For Mars bars and Cheetos they're all very keen. tynhrt
Quoteyou're plagiarizing.
If you do not know the definition of a word...you should not use it.
Quote from: Hepcat on September 27, 2017, 08:30:13 AM
Unless you're Edward Lear you're plagiarizing.
I don't see it written anywhere that they have to be original. Point out the author, if you want, but the personal comments aren't necessary.
Here's one that a71678 originated and I fine tuned for the Halloween boxes a71678 is planning to give out this year:
The werewolf he learned all too soon
To pull on some trousers by noon.
If it got dark by chance
And he weren't wearing pants,
The ladies would see his full moon.
cl:)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 269,055 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
THE WOLF MAN was, Not, Very, BRAINY,
Mistook Charlie Chaplin, for LON CHANEY;
You Are, What, You EAT,
Now, He turns, out, His FEET;
And, Waddles, as He twirls His CANE! {HEH!}
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (over 250,000 tortured)
A Wolf, wanting lamb for his dinner,
Growled out, "Lamb, you wronged me, you sinner."
Bleated Lamb - "Nay, not true!"
Answered Wolf - "Then 't was Ewe -
Ewe or lamb, you will serve for my dinner."
We asked the Sorceress for assistance.
And she came from a very far distance.
To vanish the brain dead,
Without any bloodshed.
Soon, the zombies will know nonexistence.
Here's another one that a71678 originated and I then polished:
The dark evening in Frankenstein's lab
When the monster did rise from his slab,
The mad doctor was billed
For the power he swilled
But poor Igor was handed the tab!
cl:)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 269,170 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ ;)
IRON MAN, as, We, All, know, is TONY STARK,
SAM CLEMENS is, a Writing TWAIN, named, MARK;
DR. PRETORIUS, altho', THIN,
His "Only, Weakness, is, GIN";
& a WEREWOLF'S BITE, is, Worse, than, His BARK!
:-* ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 269,269 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA invited, Us, to DINNER,
My Wife, before my eyes, grew, THINNER;
I felt, quite, FINE,
'Til offered His WINE;
I eat Spiders, now, &, feel, like, a SINNER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombie is looking very chunky.
We hope that she's not spawning a monkey.
She spawned one named Snozzle.
With a nose like a nozzle.
Feeding it mashed brains, that smell so funky.
Here's another one that a71678 wrote to which I added some polishing touches:
The werewolf infested with fleas
Requested the vet help him please.
Her prescription of powder
Soon caused him to doubt her
Since all he could do then was sneeze.
8)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 269,369 times)
ededed ~~~~ 8) ~~~ ededed ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER devised a Strange PLAN,
For DISGUISING, Himself, as a MAN;
He'd "Vent His SPLEEN",
With: "HAPPY HALLOWEEN!"
Issuing, from His lips; Very, GRAND!
ededed ~~~~ 8) ~~~ ededed ~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
A secret we were keeping under wraps.
Cleverly set new zombie booby traps.
While eating a crepe,
We caught them on tape.
And put them on YouTube, they are such saps.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 269,577 times)
;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
TODAY, is The FIRST DAY, of OCTOBER,
So, SEPTEMBER is, OFFICIALLY, OVER;
Not, DAY 31,
Pardon My PUN;
I'm very Fond, of Its hybrid: "SEPTOBER"!
;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We heard the Zombies screeching scream.
It woke us from a happy dream.
Even in October,
They are far from sober.
And should drown themselves in our stream.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 269,629 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
GODZILLA, really, NEEDED a SNACK,
HE had WALKED, to TOKYO and BACK;
HE ROASTED THE BLOB,
Into an Inert, Lifeless, GLOB;
Then, as, with TAFFY, gave IT a WHACK!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We were invited to a tea party.
That was hosted by the ghostly Marty.
It was quite the spread.
With many undead.
The food was great, we ate very hearty.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 269,759 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
That Wily VAMPIRE, called, MacGILLACUDDY,
Awoke, in His Coffin, feeling, quite, CRUDDY;
"I, really, do THINK,
I'm, Addicted, to DRINK;
All, the Sots, at the Pub, call, Me, 'BUDDY'!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There are so many monsters on this street.
Seeing some real humans is a rare treat.
People that are sane.
Who won't eat your brain.
We pray that all the undead will retreat.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 269,919 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
THE WEREWOLF bit, into My SPLEEN,
I said: "Hey! Stop, being, so, MEAN!"
He, then, let, out, a HOWL,
As, him, I, now, DISEMBOWEL;
SHAZAM! His Liver is, Putrid & GREEN!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 270,120 times)
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
THE MARTIANS INVADED THE EARTH!
But, Decided, to settle, down, in PERTH;
Became the 1st AUSSIES,
Without Being BOSSY;
Instead, Focused, on Laughter & MIRTH!
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Max.
Who refused to pay his coffin tax.
They took his fangs away.
But he still won't pay.
Thus now his bite is nothing but wax.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 270,270 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
There's "SOMEWHERE, Over THE RAINBOW",
That, MONSTERS lurk, &, You, don't, KNOW;
"Release the Flying MONKEYS!"
They're feeling, kinda, SPUNKY;
They work, for a Wicked Witch - & it SHOWS!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie named Graham.
Who really did not give a damn.
We killed his spawn,
He gave a yawn.
And told us that brains taste like ham.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 270,420 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ;) ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER was, Strapped, to The TABLE,
The Operation's Success, from Many CABLES;
He's, about, to Burst, FREE,
Thanks, to ELECTRICITY;
Forget The BRIDE, He wants BETTY GRABLE!
ededed ~~~~~ ;) ~~~ ededed ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It was a strange, lovely, haunting tune.
That we danced to under the full moon.
Tis on this fairy knoll.
We found the magic scroll.
That made the leprechauns laugh and swoon.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 270,707 times)
;D ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
TWENTY-FIVE NIGHTS are, as, Yet, REMAINING,
Which, This Year's Time, has been RESTRAINING;
With CHILD-LIKE DREAMS,
We Crave ALL-HALLOW'S-E'EN;
On NOVEMBER First, resume Our COMPLAINING!
;D ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 270,800 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES Filled, The NIGHT SKIES,
After SUNSET, to Deliver Their SURPRISE;
An INVITATION, to JOIN,
To VICTIMS, "on POINT";
Sadly, FANG-MARKS Lead, to, More, LIES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We saw the Zombie and brain dead witch.
They didn't know that Ron was a snitch.
Without any doubt.
He ratted them out.
And had them tossed into a ditch.
There once was a craggy old Witch
Who decided to dig a deep ditch
She did not explain
But buried her brain
Now all she can do is spew Kitsch
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 270,900 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER'S Desire: Simply, to LIVE,
The LOVE, in His Heart, never, got, to GIVE;
"To Hate My EXTERIOR,
Makes, You, so, INFERIOR;
Yet, I'll do My Best, Your Sin, to FORGIVE!"
ededed ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
PAINo the witch, watched as we raked.
She is so scary, her brain half baked.
Soon she'll be gone.
And we'll carry on.
As all monsters shall now be staked.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 271,021 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
DRACULA flew, past, Hitler, one, NIGHT,
"Why, that man is, TOO, EVIL, to BITE!"
"He creates, Such, HORROR,
It leaves, Us, All, POORER;
I wish, he'd turn, to dust, in DAYLIGHT!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 271,087 times)
:) ~~~~~ :-\ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-*
A Lizard-Man, in the Circus, named, ROLLO,
Complained, that, His life, felt, so, HOLLOW;
"It's, not, like, I CARE,
As We, go, EVERYWHERE;
I've, no, Need, to Lead, so, I, just, FOLLOW."
:) ~~~~~ :-\ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The fairy watched the leprechaun dance.
And wondered if she would have a chance.
But all in the fen,
Knew that it would end.
In another magical romance.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 271,222 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :blank:
The DAY'S LIGHT has, FADED, Too, SOON,
OVERHEAD, a Newly-Birthed FULL MOON;
The GROWLING, You'll HEAR,
Shall Elicit GREAT FEAR;
WEREWOLVES make the Call, of the LOON!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We had a plan, it began to hatch.
To visit the haunted pumpkin patch.
And trade cousin Mandy,
For a bag of candy.
We stuck to plan and we ate the whole batch.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 271,451 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
The ZOMBIE tried, to rip, off, My ARM,
Saying: "Must EAT, while, it is WARM."
Said I: "You're INSANE!"
So, I Blew, out, Its BRAIN;
To keep, all, you, fine folks, from HARM!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 271,644 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;)
The CREATURE was Looking, for LOVE,
She appeared, as, from Heaven, ABOVE,
She swam, like, an OTTER,
But, was, so, much, HOTTER;
He felt, They could, Fit, Hand-In-GLOVE.
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Dan.
Whose coffin was an old garbage can.
When we got the new bins.
They discovered his sins.
And broadcasted them over c-span.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 271,888 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
The GHOST Watched The VAMPIRE, BITE,
In His SOUL, knew, it, just, wasn't RIGHT;
He felt a Great SPASM,
Barfed, up, ECTOPLASM;
SLIMED that Vampire, up, to DAYLIGHT!
tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 271,955 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
Some JUGULAR VEINS are, Deemed: "SPRAYERS";
Many, Who doubt VAMPIRES are Real, NAYSAYERS;
It's a Funny, Old, WORLD,
When, All, is, UNFURLED;
VAMPIRES get, by, on a WING, but, No, PRAYERS.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a cute vampire Girl Scout.
If you didn't buy her cookies, she'd pout.
Under her sweet bangs,
Out would pop her fangs.
So, we asked for Tagalongs, she was out.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 272,022 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MONSTER was, Caught, in the FIRE,
CIRCUMSTANCES Appeared, to be, DIRE;
"I won't give, up, the GHOST,
As some MONSTER POT-ROAST!"
The End Result, sadly, proved, Him, a LIAR!
ededed ~~~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a troll, his name was Gluck.
Who had a run of very bad luck.
There was no one to scare,
So his cupboard was bare.
Thus being a troll can really suck.
We met a vampire in Paris.
He told us that his name was Harris.
Without any bites,
He showed us the sights.
And warned us about Zombie Maris.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 272,452 times)
:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ???
It used, to be "STICKS and STONES",
Today, it is "ZOMBIES and CLONES";
Ye poor, little, WAIF,
Thy Bones ain't SAFE;
Avoid Radiation, from CELL-PHONES!
:( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 272,590 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
Blithely, I keep, going, about My WAY,
In Pursuit, of a Happy Meal, of TYPE A;
Yet, in Honor, of POE,
I'd settle, for TYPE O;
Save, that, it, always, turns My hair GREY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a wolfman named Perry.
Who asked us for a sweet red berry.
We gave him a dozen.
Cause he was our cousin.
He went away happy and merry.
I'm a Freak from old Rosebrook
Trying my hand at writing a book
But no matter how hard I think
All the prose terribly stink
Besides, nobody gives a good fook
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 272,772 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
Past MIDNIGHT, Sound, Asleep, in My BED,
Get a Surprise VISIT, from The UNDEAD;
"Could Ye fetch Me a SWEATER?
Then, I'd feel, much, BETTER;
&, I'm, Sorry, for, Things, that, I've SAID."
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 272,922 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
A VAMPIRE, Whom, I know, from MILAN,
Has been, Celebrated, for His Great ELAN;
His Presence, MESMERIZING,
His Gaze, so, HYPNOTIZING;
& His Current FILM is the HIT, of CANNES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Troll is here, we have our gun.
Thus, now we have him on the run.
But, it is so sad.
That he is quite mad.
A sick nut trying to spoil our fun.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 273,153 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
On The GHOST PIRATE GALLEON, FIRST-MATE, LEE,
Appeared, 'DRESSED, TO THE NINES': Tall and STATELY;
"I Try, to COMPLY,
As Centuries, SLIP, BY;
Lest, Questioned: 'What have you done, for me, LATELY?'"
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 273,323 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The COLD NIGHT Transformed, into MORNING,
As VAMPIRES watched the Frost, ABORNING;
"Much, Sooner, than, LATER,
We'll Sleep, in REFRIGERATOR;
'Til Spring's Thaw has New Leaves ADORNING."
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We saw a witch, so ugly and gaunt.
Perhaps she's on a. Halloween jaunt.
She is so scary,
We can't find Mary.
And wish that she'd go away and haunt
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 273,523 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
I met Her, down, near the FIRE,
Oblivious, to Her being a VAMPIRE;
She began, to GLOAT,
Over My SORE THROAT;
So, I put Her, to Bed, on the PYRE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 273,599 times)
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE MARTIANS Bombarded The EARTH,
With Their Baubles, of, Really, No, WORTH;
"For, just, a BUCK.99,
Buy Our MAR'S WINE;
It Blows, You, Up, to an IMMENSE GIRTH!"
Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
This morning when we talked to Debs,
We told her that there are no webs.
Or Halloween candy
Which is fine and dandy,
She ranted to Maynard G. Krebs.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 273,753 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Great Darkness, now, covers the EARTH,
Your Heart's Light reveals your WORTH;
You must be the LEAVEN,
To lead Earth, to HEAVEN;
Te one death, that, leads, to True BIRTH.
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a bald Zombie named Marc.
Smoking his dope he set off a spark.
Much to his ire
There was a fire.
And then came the police and a narc.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 274,034 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, LUNA,
Oft, Remembered, for Her Aversion, to TUNA;
She tried, to be GOTH,
Even, went, to RYLOTH;
Died, from Allergic Reaction, to BIB FORTUNA!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 274,334 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
Merely, ELEVEN, short, DAYS, until HALLOWEEN,
With DRACULA, Blue, &, FRANKENSTEIN, GREEN;
Yet, Today, Birthed, a STAR,
BELA LUGOSI, from, AFAR;
Sets the Mood, for Classic "Good", as We've SEEN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
My Freaky birthday is soon to be
I feel and look, like ... 103
Do not morn, and shed not a tear
Rejoice, my tomb is just more near
And there's no place better for me
To have spent the time without luster
A life which is still a big cluster
Should write a suicide note
And put a knife to my throat
But no friends or family will muster
No fun being old and insane
And cannot remember my name
Many years as a costumed fool
Oh so tired of dribbling drool
So please... grab a gun and take aim
- Amen
I used to be a Scorpio, now I am a Libra.
There once was an ugly troll named Spence.
Who liked to come and sit on our fence.
He was a country bumpkin,
that came to steal our pumpkin.
Who used Halloween as a pretense.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 274,647 times)
8) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ 8)
On Monday, I have, another, LANDMARK,
Like, Maceo1, 'tis, "A Walk, In The PARK";
Time, again, is, OBEYED,
Celebrate My NATAL DAY;
After, So, Many, One, More, is a LARK!
8) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
When we told the Wizard about the bore.
His wise advice was, tis best to ignore.
Zombies have no brain,
And are so insane,
That it is best to shove them out the door.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 275,037 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRE COVEN, attacked THE MALL,
Those Poor Shoppers couldn't, even, CRAWL;
They tried, to ESCAPE,
Then, appeared, VAPE;
It en-fleshed, as Their Death... That, is, ALL!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Mel,
Who on Halloween rang our doorbell.
He wanted a snack,
We gave him no flack
And pointed out where the Zombies dwell.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 275,432 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
I Love, Me, some, Ice Cream & CAKE,
But, They do, not, a BIRTHDAY, MAKE;
It is, all, of My FRIENDS,
Their LOVE, Never, ENDS;
Makes, Me, GIVE, More, than, I TAKE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Oooooh, the weather is just a bit colder.
And our Baron is another year older.
But he's still just a lad,
and the cake that he had..
Was shared with an angel on his shoulder! ( Ms. Beth!)
Happy Birthday to the coolest fella around! And many, many moooore!
Now it is time for a special toast,
For our most favorite horror host.
Hope there is a fuss,
And some cake for us.
As we celebrate from coast to coast.
(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/glee/images/0/04/Happy-birthday.gif/revision/latest?cb=20111208081348)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 275,795 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
TODAY, Reminds, Us, of Our Answered PRAYER,
An ANNIVERSARY, of Our TWO LIVES, SHARED;
'Twas, simply, GREAT,
To Celebrate # EIGHT;
We Praise, You, GOD, for Our LOVE, WELL-FARED!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Baron, you make our hearts dance!!
We are delighted by your romance.
Ms. Beth is a cutie and her spirit's a beauty,
I bet it was LOVE at first glance! :)
Happy Anniversary, you two lovebirds!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 276,055 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :-[
THE DISH RAN, AWAY, With THE SPOON,
THE COW LONG-JUMPED, Over THE MOON!
It Sounds SELF-DEFEATIN',
To Admit, They were EATEN;
By THE CREATURE, From The Black LAGOON!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We went to the head Vampire, Old Fred.
And asked him to rid us of the Walking Dead.
So he had the Troll,
Dig a damp dark hole.
He buried them deep and watched as they bled.
We listened to the sleek black Raven.
Who told us that she was a maven.
Of all things spooky,
And some thinga kooky.
As well as movies by Wes Craven.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 276,599 times)
;) ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
HALLOWEEN likes, to play "HIDE And SEEK",
It's Re-Appearing, in, LESS, than, a WEEK;
Time's, all, A-SWIRL,
Like, Me and My GIRL;
+, I'm Known, as a CLASSIC HORROR GEEK!
;) ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Early this morning, came the acid rain.
The Zombies started screaming in pain.
It was the nurse,
Who said a curse
And now the evil flows down the drain.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 276,950 times)
>:( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
THE MONSTERS, badly, needed a BREAK,
"People Hate, Us, calling, Us, 'FAKE';
Our Mojo's gone, MISSING,
&, like, Snakes, A-HISSING;
The Public says, that, We're 'on the TAKE'!"
>:( ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie called Andy.
We decided not to give him candy.
Being very blunt.
He was then shunt.
And told to shamble to old Sandy.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 277,377 times)
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
THE MONSTERS Come, Out, TOMORROW,
Requesting, CANDY, They can "BORROW";
They turn, into VAPOR,
Haunt Trees' Toilet PAPER;
I Pray, They won't leave, You, in SORROW.
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We heard a pounding at our front door.
It was little children covered in gore.
They shouted "Trick or Treat"
We must have candy to eat.
Please give us some more, you are not poor.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 277,477 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
TOMORROW, We'll be "KEEPING THE DAY",
In Our, Most, TYPICAL, MONSTER-KID WAY;
And, then, Sight, UNSEEN,
We'll Spill INVISIBLE BEANS;
With Revealing PHOTOS, by DORIAN GRAY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The webs are up for Halloween.
So far, no goblins to be seen.
I see a Mummy
With a big tummy
And an ugly fat Zombie Queen.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 277,777 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
HALLOWEEN, Sadly, Ends, At MIDNIGHT,
And, Not, Unlike, The VAMPIRE'S BITE;
'Tis a Painful "ADIEU",
'Cos, It, is, THROUGH;
For a Year; Disappeared, Out, Of SIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
HALLOWEEN! Zombies surrounded our house.
They were bloody loud and we heard them grouse.
We called the spook police,
Sending officer Elise.
Who had blue hair and couldn't scare a mouse.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 278,027 times)
:'( ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
JACK-O'LANTERNS have, run, Their COURSE,
Still, THINGS, could, Always, Get, WORSE;
The SEASON is, PERKY,
Pumpkin Pie & TURKEY;
OFFERINGS, Extended; of CHAPTER & VERSE!
:'( ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Another Halloween has come and gone.
Marking the end of monster marathon.
A lone zombie lingers.
Without any fingers.
And will soon be shipped off to Kazakhstan.
Last night there was a zombie attack.
They tired to kill our good friend Mack.
For them it was a fail.
Zombie heads on a nail.
We know that soon they will begin to crack.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 278,807 times)
;D ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :'(
THE ZOMBIES had Opened a SHOPPE,
To Sell Music, from the Era: 'DOO-WOP';
Their Ulterior FACT,
Is, Music, DISTRACTS;
&, Their Quest, for Brains, Never, STOPS!
;D ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a vampire named Norm,
Who told us to go out in the storm.
And find him a treat
Or some bloody meat.
In return, he'd keep us safe and warm.
We were talking to the ghost of Bob Marley,
Who was looking for an actor named Farley,
With the last name Granger,
From a movie Stranger,
Cause he needed to start a ghostly parley.
This is the story of PAINo the Witch.
One day, she was found quite dead in a ditch.
No one did cry.
Or say good-bye
Not a tear was shed, she was such a *itch.
We just saw the evil troll named Neville.
Who is said be spawn of the devil.
He is so freaky,
And very sneaky,
Thus nothing he does is on the level
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 279,850 times)
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
THE BEAUTIFUL VAMPIRE began Her DANCE,
It might've been a Desperate, Last, CHANCE;
The Fire, in Her EYES,
The Men, MESMERIZED;
She's, now, "The Vampire Queen, of FRANCE"!
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
As we walked through the haunted park.
We saw the crazy zombie Mark.
He was smoking pot.
Which he does a lot.
So we called the neighborhood narc.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 280,258 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
LIFE Is, ROLLING, Along, FIRST-RATE,
With Challenges, for Me & My MATE;
We, All, get, SOME,
They Go & They COME;
Yet, This MIRACLE, Remains, ever, GREAT!
:angel: ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a zombie so very dumb.
The things that he did made our minds go numb.
It's Veteran's Day.
Put Christmas away!
Well what can you expect from Zombie scum?
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 280,482 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
THE MONSTERS began, to get, "LURKY",
Searched The Castle, with SKELETON-KEY;
They sought, to HOBBLE,
What said: "GOBBLE-GOBBLE";
In The Scullery, Discovered The TURKEY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The zombies were out screeching last night.
Banging ladders, such a sad sick sight
The female started to rant.
The Witches started to chant.
Until Drac came over for a bite.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 280,675 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There are, MONSTERS, under My BED,
Late, at Night, Their EYES, Glow, RED;
A Left-Over RELIC,
O' Times, PSYCHEDELIC;
Bloodshot, from BROWNIES, once, FED!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There once was a wise wizard named Gary.
Who was looking for a witch to marry.
She should have spells.
That rang his bells.
And always be happy and merry.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 280,888 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The NIGHT AIR Bears, an Oppressive CHILL,
Whilst VAMPIRES, Immune, drink Their FILL;
It does, Take, a BOLD ONE,
To go, out, for a COLD ONE;
When YOU might, end, up, as UNDEAD KILL!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
PAINo the witch is outside having a fit.
She is often violent, we have to admit.
When we see her rage.
We want her in a cage.
But the Zombies want her tossed into a pit.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 281,218 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
COUNT DRACULA sought, out, His "DINNER",
10-to-1 Odds, He will end, up, The WINNER;
His BLOOD-LUST, to SLAKE,
Put, the 'STAKE', in "MISTAKE";
It's, now, obvious, He's, undeniably, THINNER!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Zombie attacked Santa's new Sleigh.
But brave Rudolf kept him at bay.
Don't be so jerky.
We are not turkey.
You have confused the holiday.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 281,481 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Confused
There's UNDEAD Denizens, of the DEEP,
Who, from Their Watery Graves, CREEP;
They return, to LAND,
To give, You, a HAND;
'Tho' ROTTEN, it's a Memento, to KEEP!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Confused
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 281,871 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE KING, Of THE ZOMBIES, has been, KILLED,
LEGIONS, Of ZOMBIES, were, Very, THRILLED;
"HOORAY! Just, let, Him, ROT,
He deserved that HEAD-SHOT!"
To Celebrate, His Remains, They, Ate - GRILLED!
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 282,112 times)
ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE MONSTER had Demanded a MATE,
Forced, His Doctor, to Work, rather, LATE,
We, all, know the STORY,
An Exploding LABORATORY;
Chalk, It, up, to the Usual Hollywood FATE!
ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 282,328 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
IMHOTEP met, with KHARIS, to Play POKER,
They were joined, by Author, BRAM STOKER;
"Here, Deuces are WILD."
Said Poet, Oscar WILDE;
'Til, They were, all, destroyed, by THE JOKER!
tynhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 282,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
THE OLD MONSTERS were, LONELY, and, SAD,
"Some Things, We do, can't, help, but, be BAD;
On a Short-Ended TETHER,
Our 'lives' are Bad WEATHER;
One Bright Note: Monster-Kids make, Us, GLAD!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Wow Limericks loaded with Levity!
And it's hard to be funny with brevity.
But it's still going strong
And as Ann said to Kong
"Now that's what I call a long-gevity!"
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 282,822 times)
;D ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o
Some HORROR HOSTS can be TRUSTED,
Some have, left, Viewers, DISGUSTED;
When Related, to PECS,
Of The FAIRER SEX;
When ELVIRA appeared, She was BUSTED!
;D ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 282,940 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;)
We Loved, our Brief Visit, from PACKY,
He Founded, This Thread, BY CRACKY!
As, He, is, ever, a HOOT,
We shan't give him "The BOOT";
But, We, cannot, Help, being, TACKY!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
We first saw Possum, one year today.
A little sweet cat, all white and gray.
She was close not far,
When killed by a car.
Now over the Rainbow Bridge does play.
R.I.P. Sweet girl
(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g434/Balticprince/2017-%20Lucky%20and%20Posse/DSCN4126_zpsqmnmjoix.jpg)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 283,138 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES had heard, about THANKSGIVING,
"It's, just, another, useless, Feast, for The LIVING;
Little, do, They, KNOW,
They Reap, what, They SOW;
Unless We "turn them"; Them, We're OUT-LIVING!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 283,638 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
The Birthdays, of BORIS and SARA, YESTERDAY,
And, Dear, Old, UNCLE FORRY'S 101st, TODAY;
LIVING, or, DEAD,
In My Heart & HEAD;
Heaven-Blest, in LOVE, that, shall, not, Fade, AWAY!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 284,028 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
THE ZOMBIE is, Sadly, a CREATURE, Of FATE,
Who ended, up, on Another ZOMBIE'S PLATE;
Definitely, Not, FUN,
Chalk, up, Another, ONE;
There's, more, out, there; You needn't WAIT!
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 284,214 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
THE ANGRY MONSTER, they attempted, to ABORT,
Desperately, for, it was their very, last, RESORT;
"This is a Bunch, of BULL,
For, I am, INDESTRUCTIBLE!"
So, He wandered, off, seeking a Female COHORT.
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 284,524 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The Evil VAMPIRE'S Exploits were, DARING,
Unscrupulous, Reckless, &, also, UNCARING;
He didn't, Remain, UNSCATHED,
When, in Holy Water, BATHED;
His Ashes show, how, he's, currently, FARING!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 285,058 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
This Last Day, of NOVEMBER, is, DISAPPEARING,
Whilst DECEMBER'S Dawn is, Swiftly, NEARING;
There are, no, Slim PICKIN'S,
Just, Read Charles DICKENS;
Christmas Ghosts have, Morals, quite, CHEERING!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 285,658 times)
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
THE VAMPIRE Escaped The ANGRY CROWD,
She became a BAT, &, through, them, PLOWED;
To make matters, WORSE,
She mispronounced a CURSE;
And, fell, from the sky, Amply, OVER-ENDOWED!
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 286,022 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank:
After Dark, rose the Super Frost MOON,
Ascended the Heavens, far, too, SOON;
Don't make My BLUNDER,
Stare, up, in WONDER;
Whilst, IT, still, Wintry Sky, FESTOONS!
:blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 286,428 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY was "CREEPING, US, OUT!"
Hobbling, from Joint-Ache, called, GOUT;
Because He moves, SLOW,
Catching, us, is a "NO-GO";
He sits, alone, in His PYRAMID, to POUT!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 286,718 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :blank:
The WEREWOLF had London, in FEAR,
His plaintive Howls, heard, very, NEAR;
"Aye, there's the RUB,
Take, 'im, out, to a PUB;
Then, get 'im BESOTTED, with BEER!"
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 287,072 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
'Tis, again, the Hours, when VAMPIRES BITE,
Howe'er, Garlic, &, Crosses, can allay FRIGHT;
'Tis said, that, HOLY WATER,
Repels DRACULA'S DAUGHTER;
&, Tanning Booths work, as, well, as, SUNLIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 287,328 times)
>:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ >:D
THE VILLAGERS sought, out, MR. HYDE,
They scoured the whole COUNTRYSIDE;
A "Hermit", 'tho' BLIND,
Offered, Them, WINE;
He tricked Them, to join The Dark SIDE!
>:( ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 287,528 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE THREE GHOSTS, Of CHRISTMAS, APPEARED,
Leaving, Poor, Old, SCROOGE, Much, A-FEARED;
They did Their JOB,
The 4th GHOST, The BLOB;
Cleaned, up, 'Their MESS'.... How, Very, WEIRD!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 287,852 times)
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER brought Boughs, of HOLLY,
DRACULA accused, Him, of Great FOLLY;
"It makes My heart BREAK,
As I Fear HOLLY STAKES!"
FRANK said: "I brought, them, for MOLLY!"
ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 288,158 times)
??? ~~~~~ :) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8)
THE CREATURE decided, to SWIM,
That, was, nothing, new, for HIM;
'Til a Cute, Human GIRL,
Shook, up, His WORLD;
Now, He works, out, at the GYM!
??? ~~~~~ :) ~~~~ ;) ~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 288,408 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The Light, first, Flickered, then, FAILED,
As The Haunted House Ride, DERAILED;
A Vampire, not, FAKE,
I grabbed a Real STAKE;
And, before, He could, Bite, I IMPALED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 288,618 times)
ededed ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
The MONSTER Sang CHRISTMAS CAROLS,
Rolled YGOR, down, Snowy Hills, in BARRELS;
His Exceptional MIGHT,
Won each Snowball FIGHT;
Plus, the LOVE, of a HANNAH, named DARYL!
ededed ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 288,888 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, MIKE,
Whose Victims' LAST WORD, was, "YIKES!"
His Fangs were, so, HUGE,
They caused a DELUGE;
Until, they cut, off, His Head, with a PIKE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 289,248 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
That GREAT WHITE SHARK, from "JAWS",
Named, BRUCE, gives, Us, All, PAUSE;
Choose Wisdom's PEARL,
As GOOD Boys and GIRLS;
To receive Nice Gifts, from SANTA CLAUS!
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 289,475 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
I LOVE the WORKS, of LON CHANEY,
'Tho', Repetitious, &, a bit, REFRAINEY;
I'll sing His PRAISES,
For, All, of My DAYS;
SR., or, JR., like, ye Old ALLEGHENIES!
:angel: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 289,777 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The GHOSTS flew, about the Old CASTLE, at NIGHT,
Gave Eerie Warnings, of SOMETHING, NOT, RIGHT;
"We agree, that, by DAY,
All, Things, seem, OKAY;
By NIGHT, evil triumphs, for one hell, of a FRIGHT!"
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 289,982 times)
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
Those MUMMIES are, Really, Old, GEEZERS,
I've kept, quite, a FEW, in My FREEZERS;
They're, NASTY, not, NICE,
Good & TASTY, Over RICE;
Dustier Parts, best, picked up, by TWEEZERS!
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 290,280 times)
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
I, don't, know, how, well, "They" ABIDE,
Good, DOCTOR JEKYLL & Bad, MR. HYDE;
ONE, is, The OTHER,
From the same MOTHER;
It Must, Have, Been, ONE, WILD, RIDE!
;D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 290,500 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie LOL
London After Midnight & The Road to MANDALAY,
In the world, of "What Ifs": King Kong & Fay WRAY;
We awake, from a DREAM,
Either, Smile, or, SCREAM;
To finish, off, Jim Beam, to make, him, go, AWAY!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 290,720 times)
??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ 8)
Those PRESENTS, left, under the TREE,
Were, quite, mistakenly, Labeled, for ME;
A Clock and a HOOK,
I remember the BOOK;
I Deduce, they're, for a Friend, MR. SMEE!
??? ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 291,040 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :(
This FIRST DAY, of WINTER'S, a DOWNER,
GWYNPLAINE'S SMILE, is, Now, a FROWNER;
DRACULA hadn't HEARD;
His Bride Shared the WORD;
"I'm so Glad, We're, both, OUT-OF-TOWNERS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 291,291 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
Where we are, is, now, Cold and WET,
But,, I sure, ain't, seen, no, Yeti, YET!
The Nearby ISTHMUS,
Celebrates CHRISTMAS;
Might join, 'em, &, have, no, REGRET!
:angel: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 291,365 times)
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE ZOMBIES felt, Listless, and, PUNY,
Since They consumed Mister ROONEY;
They are, who, They EAT,
In a Quest, for Fresh MEAT;
They, now, appear Weird & CARTOONY!
Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 291,719 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
A YEAR has Passed, now, CHRISTMAS EVE,
A Wondrous Time, TRUTH, to CONCEIVE;
Despite, all, the MADNESS,
A SEASON, of GLADNESS;
A BABY, with SOMETHING, up His SLEEVE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 291,901 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
I, herein, have, TWO, Mere, WORDS, to SAY,
It Rhymes, with these Times: "CHRISTMAS DAY";
May, IT, be Your BEST,
Count, Yourself, BLEST;
If, IT, Lives, in Your heart, IT, shan't, go, AWAY!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 292,112 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE MONSTERS were, Hatching a PLOT,
Confused, by LIFE, They do, that, a LOT;
"We can't get a GRIP,
Get a Sword, or, a WHIP;
Then, figure, out, if, 'X Marks The SPOT!'"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 292,272 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
WINTER'S WINDS Blow this Old Year, AWAY,
With its Fake News, False Teeth & TOUPEE;
Into Next Year, we're GAZIN',
Back, to Honest, from BRAZEN;
NEW YEAR Occasions Resolutions, to PRAY.
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Alien ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 292,400 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE, to Whom, none, hold a CANDLE,
Whose Bite-Force can Break, a STEEL HANDLE;
Sweet, Mother O'GRADY,
This LASS, ain't, no, LADY;
I tell, You, BEWARE, of MANDY'S MANDIBLES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 292,622 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'(
I know, of, a WEREWOLF, so, MEAN,
Always, eager, to vent His SPLEEN;
If You, even, COUGH,
He'll tear You, in HALF;
&, repentant, say: "Sorry, Old BEAN!"
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 292,742 times)
ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
THE MONSTERS were having a PARTY,
To Ring, in the New Year, quite, HEARTY;
Then, flew, in, Old VLAD,
Kindly, Toasting & GLAD;
His Intelligence, Lauded, as "SMARTY"!
ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 292,812 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRES threw a Big DANCE,
Some, flew, in, from faraway FRANCE;
As Midnight APPROACHED,
RENFIELD was ROACHED;
Nasty Vermin ate holes, in His PANTS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 292,842 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ HAPPY A.D. 2018, U.M.A. ~~~~~~~ :angel:
The Dawn has Encroached, on another NEW YEAR,
MONSTERS, Gone, to Bed; No, Reason, to FEAR;
This WINTER SEASON,
Gives Several REASONS;
Valentine's Chocolates & St.Paddy's GREEN BEER!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ HAPPY A.D. 2018, U.M.A. ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 293,111 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :'(
THIS WEATHER is, Pure, ARCTIC BLAST,
HORRIBLE, in, that, it happened, so, FAST;
Every Faucet, on DRIP,
So, the Pipes don't RIP;
One, under our Street Corner, didn't, LAST!
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 293,633 times)
:'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
This ARCTIC FREEZE is Hectic & VEXING,
We should Practice our Practical HEXING;
This, most, Cruel, BLOW,
So, much, ICE & SNOW;
We'd, rather, be, in Texas, TEX-MEXING!
:'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 294,111 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
This NEW YEAR is, Speeding, ALONG,
Much, like, a SPEEDO, on KING KONG;
That Image, BRAINS, FRIES,
Yet, I hope, no, one, DIES;
Unless, He tries, to sing, an Old SONG!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 294,455 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
FRANKENSTEIN went, back, to His DOKTOR,
"On My last Visit, You gave, Me, a SHOCKER!"
"Over 1 Trillion VOLTS,
I consider, you, DOLTS;
When I begged, for a bride; you MOCKED HER!"
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 294,694 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S "LOVE", was, UNWAVERING,
'Twas, apparent, that, MINA, He was, FAVORING,
As BRIDE, or, as, DAUGHTER,
In Blood, Thicker, than, WATER;
Her Sanguine Treat, He was, Happily, SAVORING!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 294,802 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY needed New CLOTHES,
"Of these Old Rags, I must DISPOSE;
A Shirt, Coat and PANTS,
May, a Better Life, GRANT;
+, I'll see, if, My Popularity, GROWS!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 294,894 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE OLD VAMPIRE had, Migrated, out, WEST,
Whereupon, He purchased a Bullet-Proof VEST;
From Silver Bullets, SAFE,
But, Not, Wooden STAKES;
As It pierced His Heart, He felt, UNDER-DRESSED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 295,075 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Once, again, 'tis "THAT TIME", of the NIGHT,
Whence The MONSTERS appear, as I WRITE;
Limerick Topics are BROAD,
Pun Endings, quite, ODD;
Most, often, They SUCK, 'ere VAMPIRES BITE!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 295,295 times)
Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ C:)
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, ROBBIE,
Who saved each, bitten, Brain, as a HOBBY;
From the House, of HANOVER,
To the White Cliffs, DOVER;
His Prize Specimen, was an ENGLISH BOBBY!
Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ C:)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 295,429 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER became a Sad DERELICT,
People avoided, Him, as, if, a HERETIC;
By far, the Worse PART,
Broke His Poor HEART;
As, if, by His Creator, He'd been TRICKED.
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ededed ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 295,555 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE GHOST ran, right, through, The GHOUL,
Screaming: "Get, outta, My way, You, FOOL!"
The GHOUL felt a SPASM,
SLIMED, by ECTOPLASM;
Which Folks, oft, mistake, for GHOUL DROOL!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 295,592 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
As the SUN, arose, amid, WINTER, DIM,
LETHARGIC VAMPIRES flew, to the GYM;
"We like This Option, BETTER,
Because Their Blood is, WETTER;
So, Much, it's, like, We go, for a SWIM!"
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 295,855 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
THE OPERA PHANTOM remained, Sadly, PERPLEXED,
For, He sought Christine's Love, under False PRETEXT;
"What, have I WROUGHT,
Falsely, someone, I'm, NOT,
The Distance, between Truth and Lie, has, Me, VEXED!"
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 296,050 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
This SEASON, of WINTER, is, ROUGH,
SURVIVAL, Belongs, to THE TOUGH;
If you're UNDEAD,
Still, use Your HEAD;
Don't wander This Freeze, in the BUFF!
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 296,222 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
THE MONSTERS, all, sought, DESTRUCTION,
Their Fame has, suffered, GREAT REDUCTION;
What, once, was 'The NORM',
Is, now, Out-Dated FORM;
Explains, Why, They've stopped PRODUCTION.
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 296,330 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
GHOSTS, which, now, Haunt old ALCATRAZ,
Intent, on re-inventing, "RAZZ-A-MATTAZZ";
Rehearse, during the NIGHT,
On, Strictly, Class-A FRIGHTS;
Attempting, to Recapture, Their old PIZZAZZ!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 296,482 times)
:) ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :angel:
DER JANUS-KOPF looks, to The FUTURE,
AND, The Past; Can't 'POP' The SUTURE;
Please, pardon the PUN,
2 Heads, better, than 1;
Less, chance, Tripping, over FURNITURE!
:) ~~~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 296,636 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
The WITCH began uttering Her SPELL,
When She detected a Horrible SMELL;
"Methinks this Foul ODOR,
Is the Start, of a MOTOR;
My Victim's, driving, away, PELL-MELL!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 296,800 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
I realize, this, may sound, somewhat, TRITE,
How, The VAMPIRE'S Skin is Pale and WHITE;
At Night, Their APPEAL,
Makes the Fright, REAL;
When, at, Last, They 'Hone, In', for The BITE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 296,959 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
A GIANT OCTOPUS Escaped, from Its CAGE,
Slithering, about, and, Expressing Its RAGE;
With Eight Arms, to DANGLE,
& Great Strength, to MANGLE;
Predicting Its Damage, was, Hard, to GAGE!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 297,232 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
NEW YEAR'S Gateway Appears, to be, CLOSING,
11 Months, more, to go, Correctly, SUPPOSING;
You'll find, me, CONFESSING,
We, all, need, more, BLESSING;
"GOD Bless, Us, Everyone!" {in Great DOSING!}
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 297,372 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[
The WEREWOLVES were, on the PROWL,
'Neath a Full Moon, emitted a GROWL;
T'was Their Ardent DESIRE,
To DESTROY a VAMPIRE;
Then, realized, Their Prey, was, an OWL!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ >:( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 297,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The VAMPIRE was, Hungry, for BLOOD,
He clawed His way, out, of the MUD;
The night air was CHILL,
He picked, up, the BILL;
BILL wrote his Last Will, felt, like CRUD!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 297,888 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Cannot, You, feel, as, Slowly, IT, CREEPS?!
Unseen, as IT moves, through the DEEP?
You run, to CATCH, UP,
IT Flows, like, KETCH-UP;
Anticipation, of Time - Alarm goes: "BEEP!"
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 298,000 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Then, brace, Yourselves, for, more, SNOWS,
We are, Trapped, in WINTER'S Icy THROES;
A Scant, 90+, DAYS,
This, all, goes, AWAY;
Relegated, to MEMORY, where, It, GROWS!
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 298,200 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank:
HENRY HULL, Perfect, as THE WEREWOLF OF LONDON,
Long, before the Teenage Version, by MICHAEL LANDON;
With Praise, in This STANZA,
They, Both, hit 'The BONANZA';
And, are, Remembered, LOVINGLY, by Many, in FANDOM!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 298,444 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ thrhrt
Super Blue Blood Moon, larger, than LIFE,
Cutting Lunar Green Cheese, with a KNIFE;
Final Night, of JANUARY,
Beware, The Green FAERIE;
Drinking ABSINTHE, with DRACULA'S WIFE!
:blank: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 298,633 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
The RENEVANT, Arose, from His TOMB,
Enshrouded, in Evening's Violet GLOOM;
The Fog, ROLLING, IN,
Hid His Body, SO, THIN,
Thus, Ensuring His VICTIM'S Sad DOOM.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I've just flew in from the planet Mars,
I have been missing the smell of flowers,
With my brief visit to this Earthly plain,
I hear the groans he's quite insane,
Spare a thought I'm not the flu like Sars.
Looking at my collection is so much fun,
Why sometimes I treat myself to a sweet bun,
Yet nothing compares to this thread,
Well perhaps my growing sense of dread.
That the Baron will come back with an unfunny pun.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 298,855 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VILLAGER found the CASTLE, Very, TRYING,
As Sun, setting, unsure, if Folks had been LYING;
With Daylight growing DIM,
Those Stories, about HIM;
Seemed, More, REAL, with the Sound, of FLYING!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
If you want a teenage monster story,
There's also Gary Conway that's gory,
The ever mad Whit Bissell,
Taught his creature to whistle,
If the monster had a wig he'd be a Tory.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 299,049 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
The GROUNDHOG has, again, seen His SHADOW,
No, VAMPIRE, He, Neither, Sparkle, nor, GLOW;
His Curse, He PRESENTS,
And He does, not, RELENT;
For, WINTER Remains, 6 weeks, more, + SNOW!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 299,272 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
There's a Horrible Thing, called 'The FLU',
I Pray, that, It, will, NEVER, afflict, YOU;
PRAYERS, Requested, you SEE,
For My Beloved Bride and ME;
That, Our Healing, is both, Swift and TRUE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
There's no need to shiver,
Grab a blanket and quiver,
With the both of you down.
It's best to drink until you drown,
I've heard water is the best giver.
Get well soon Baron and Beth you are in my thoughts and prayers.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 299,449 times)
;D ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :angel:
LIMERICKS are, Weird, when They BREED,
From, All, constraints, to shackle Them, FREED,
Like, Energizer BUNNIES,
Famous, for PUNNIES;
Need a LAUGH? Then, a LAUGH, is a NEED!
;D ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
The Mummy climbed from his swamp trap,
Covered head to toe with a mouldy sap,
Why does he even bother,
As I'm sure he'd just rather,
Shout to the film crew it's a wrap.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 300,003 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
These, few, Days, now, into "Being ILL",
LIMERICKS, I think, Will, Fill, "The BILL";
Being Sick, makes, Me, SAD,
Deep, at, Heart, I am, GLAD;
As I Contemplate, GOD'S Grace and WILL.
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 300,503 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRES ate the BLOOD-SAUSAGE,
Proclaimed, it, to be: "'The Latest CRAZE!"
"That, it does, Us, 'a SOLID',
To, some, appears, MORBID;
Yet, it appeases Our HUNGER, for DAYS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 300,808 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY Contemplated the Evening's GLOOM,
While Standing, outside, His next Victim's ROOM;
"Do I break, down, the DOOR,
To "DO IN" One, MORE;
Or, just, take in a Movie & Pizza, with 'SHROOMS!"
hmjfym ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 301,201 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ thrhrt
Most, LIMERICKS are, regarded, as: DRIVEL,
Their PUNS, often, "Banked", off, the SWIVEL;
The, more, they're DEFINED,
By Static Limits, CONFINED;
Like, VAMPIRES, in DAYLIGHT, They SHRIVEL!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 301,440 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THEY "Woke, Up", on VALENTINE'S DAY,
The Sun's, down, yet, still, Hours, to PLAY;
KISSES lead, to BITES,
That, go, on, all, NIGHT;
That's one way, to give Your Heart, AWAY!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It's well known Clown noses are red,
And Pennywise fills you with dread,
Take my advice and don't follow a balloon,
As IT leads to storm drains all too soon,
So enjoy Valentine's until you go to bed. ;)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 301,599 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
A Gorgeous VAMPIRE COUNTESS, LORAINE,
Was COUNT DRACULA'S Lover, UNFEIGNED;
They'd, "GET, IT, ON",
From Dusk, until DAWN;
Then, 'Sleep', in The COUNT'S Secret DOMAIN.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 301,777 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Censored
There, once, was a ZOMBIE, named, FRED,
Who had grown, tired, of being, UNDEAD;
"I feel, like, a FAKE,
&, it takes the CAKE;
That, I, don't, have a BRAIN, in My HEAD!"
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Censored
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 301,941 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
SAINT PADDY'S is, just, a "Short" Month, AWAY,
Because, FEBRUARY has, only, 28, to PLAY;
So, LIMERICKS, to GATHER,
As, Much, Benign, BLATHER;
A Decade, since PACKY PAUL, First, had His SAY!
:angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G../
Igor had a bit much to drink,
Oh boy the cemetery does stink,
I'll just dig here near this tree,
This is dirty work with no fee,
But the master knows I'm no fink.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 302,222 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
WEREWOLF FANGS, Tear, and, CLAWS, RAKE,
VAMPIRE FANGS, Their Unholy, THIRST, SLAKE;
Yet, The INVISIBLE MAN,
Can, Never, get, a TAN;
The 50-FOOT WOMAN, many, a Heart, BREAKS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 302,622 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile
The Old MONSTERS, simply, could, not, RELATE,
As the New Generation, seemed, to tempt FATE,
"They have a CULTURE,
Reminiscent, of VULTURES;
&, Their WHINING, on our NERVES, doth, GRATE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie No Smile
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 303,003 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE was awakened, by SNORING,
"Sometimes, I swear, My 'Life' is, so, BORING;
I'd be rolling, in CLOVER,
If I could do a DO-OVER;
But, UNDEAD, The Blood's, always, POURING!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 303,263 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt
A Mere, TWENTY-ONE Days, still, REMAIN,
Until WE Sing ye Olde, Familiar, REFRAIN;
We, Babes, in the NURSERY,
On Its Founding ANNIVERSARY;
On ye Limerick 10th, will, repeat, yet, AGAIN!
hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 303,403 times)
ededed ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER was MAD!
'Cos, people had treated, Him, so, BAD!
"I Hate, Living; Love, DEAD,
&, did I mention: UNDER-FED?
Plus, I look, positively, STUPID, in PLAID!"
ededed ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 303,733 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
THE LEPRECHAUNS Danced, in DRACULA'S CASTLE,
To The VAMPIRE COUNT, that was, such, a HASSLE;
"Those Wee, Irish, FOLK,
Are some kind, of JOKE;
As, long, as They, don't, break, out, the TASSELS!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 303,873 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :o
We, Now, leave, behind, "Dear, Old, FEBRUARY",
With regrets, that, We vet, from FEW, to, NARY;
Tomorrow is STARCH,
We enter, into MARCH;
To stew, over STOOGES: CURLY, MOE & LARRY!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Greetings from Ireland
New member.
Don't worry about the Limericks, not in the slightest bit offensive, just a bit of "craic" as we say.
Will check back for the banter...
- HN
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 304,213 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
We've Two, Fine, People, from IRELAND, HERE,
I Hope, They're, not, Soused, on GREEN BEER;
For Richer, or POURER,
We've LOVE TV HORROR;
& HAMMERNERD, Our word, to You, is "CHEERS!"
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 304,500 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Today has Improved My WORTH,
The Sun arose, on My BETH'S BIRTH;
So, Happy, She's, MINE,
At Her Mere FIFTYNINE;
She is a Great Cause, of My MIRTH!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ :angel: ~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 304,770 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
These Days melt, away, HOW, FRIGHTFUL,
To reach, MARCH 17th, Again, DELIGHTFUL;
To, all, of My FRIENDS,
Anniversary Number 10;
So, PLEASE, leave, a LIMERICK, INSIGHTFUL!
hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 304,915 times)
:) ~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
A Mere, Ten, Days, More, of Waiting, REMAIN,
'Til, again, The UMA hears Love's Sweet REFRAIN:
"Your LIMERICKS, SUCK!
Even, with Leprechaun LUCK;
'Go, down, with the Ship' & 'Remember The MAINE'"!
:) ~~~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 305,035 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRE CLAN had crashed THE EVENT,
Making MEALS, of The FOLKS, as They WENT;
They got Down & CHUMMY,
& Saw 'They' were MUMMIES;
Tasting Moldy Dust caused, Them, to REPENT!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 305,135 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
The ZOMBIES were using Their BRAINS,
Trying, Humans, to Corral and CONTAIN;
Down, on Their LUCK,
Out a back gate, SNUCK;
Their Foul Trap, empty, and, all, in VAIN!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ :laugh: ~~~~~ Zombie Blush
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 305,250 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The ZOMBIE was becoming, quite, LAZY,
As His Memories dimmed, rather, HAZY;
"I feel, quite, THICK,
Such, an odd SHTICK;
Alive, such, a thing, wouldn't FAZE ME!"
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 305,350 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
Almost, Seven Days, More, are REMAINING,
Until Our Tenth Anniversary shall be REIGNING;
Whether, or, NOT,
You add, to this SLOT;
By Seven, More, LIMERICKS, We'll be GAINING!
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 305,450 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral
The MONSTERS were, Perturbed, felt, 'DISSED',
For, in these LIMERICKS, "Caught The GIST";
"We, liken, this 'HUMOR',
To, some, kind, of TUMOR;
We'd, not, CARE, Too, Much, if, We MISSED!"
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 305,635 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The LOCALS heard The VAMPIRES' SAD LAMENT,
How They'd lost Their Crypts' Lease, to HIGH RENT;
Some, kind, of FRIGHT,
This URBAN BLIGHT;
So, They buried the Greedy Landlords, in CEMENT!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 306,003 times)
:o ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :angel:
My DUNGEON was, Crawling, with CRITTERS,
Like, Rabbits, could produce MANY LITTERS;
I know, that, It's, TRUE,
Eat 'em, before They eat YOU;
I Like THEM, BEST, FRIED, UP, as FRITTERS!
:o ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 306,136 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :o
TOMORROW Is, UNDENIABLY, The DAY,
Our 10th LIMERICK ANNIVERSARY, Dear UMA!
If You'll CONTRIBUTE,
One, Single, "BEAUT!";
The Limerick Gods won't have, You, SPAYED!
{Neutered is 25-Cents Extra}
;D ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I wore my green suit today covered in fluff,
As it is St Patrick's day I'm a bit out of puff,
Running around chasing the Shamrock,
That seemed to float high above the rock,
I wish ye all an enjoyable day while I'm still in a huff.
10 whole years of this thread so cheers to my friends and those absent you are in my thoughts: Baron. Beth, Packy, Meek, unknown primate, flower , charp13, crazy1van, drunken severed head, monsterphile, Jim Bertges, creepyjeff, Sean, The General and others to numerous to mention. Happy anniversary.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 306,260 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
Ages, ago, for a short time, I was a LEPRECHAUN,
But, I grew, too, Tall, & had, too, much, BRAWN;
Moved, out, of IRELAND,
And, into a HIGHER LAND;
I changed My Name, to CHANEY; 1st Name's, LON.
:angel: ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
My Beloved Fellow Trooper, MAURICE/TV HORROR,
I agree, I carry, on, for those Voices, of FANG-MILY, amongst, stilled, by death, or, change, of venue.
It is, only, LOVE, By GOD'S Grace, which fortifies me, to seek this Tread, each day.
I hope, that, I add a touch, of Humour, to brighten THE UMA's Day and Lighten any heart, who is, Free, enough, to Hear.
HAPPY 10th LIMERICK ANNIVERSARY, to , US, All! GOD Bless The UMA!
Thank you Tim you're a gentleman as always, I'm just sorry I'm kept so busy and don't post more often.
It's nice to keep this thread so trim,
Writing Limericks to its very brim,
Day after day its a labour of love,
It's like writing sonnets from above,
That's the devotion of our Baron Tim. :)
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 306,360 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :blank:
The WEREWOLF is hunting His PREY,
Clueless, that, it could go, either, WAY;
Gives Him Fear's SHIVER,
If the BULLET is SILVER;
From One, who, Loves, enough, to PRAY!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ :blank: ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 306,500 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ ???
Ye LAST DAY, of WINTER, but, here's a HINT,
There's No Guarantees; read the FINE PRINT;
A Blast, of the ARCTIC,
Sleeves One, More, TRICK;
The Wind blows, as It will, where did it WENT!?
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 306,670 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
Our LIMERICK Feast is a Huge REPAST,
So, that, March Seventeenth, will, LAST;
The date may Come & GO,
But, if you're, 'In The FLOW';
364 Courses, to go, so, What A BLAST!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 306,820 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The Sweet Jingle, of GOLD, could be, HEARD,
For, no, one, dared, Breathe, a Single WORD;
In DRACULA'S VAULT,
It's, all, Your FAULT;
If, You're, found, out, by a BAT, Not, a BIRD!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 306,977 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
I, once, knew a VAMPIRE, named, SCHMIDT,
Who was, TRAPPED, in the PENDULUM'S PIT;
"it's, not, for Want, of TRYING,
But, there's, no, way, of FLYING;
This will cut, Me, up, or, down, to HALF-WIT!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 307,207 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed
The MONSTER, left, by a Hidden EXIT,
It was, very, similar, to 'Popping A ZIT';
"I applied, much, PRESSURE,
To Take This REFRESHER;
Not, unlike, England's Jolly, Old, BREXIT!"
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 307,387 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
There, once, was a MUMMY, named, DAVE,
Who excavated, Himself, from The GRAVE;
"The thing, I've ABHORRED,
Is, that, I'd become, BORED;
Or, by a Museum, be, classified, as: 'KNAVE'!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 307,525 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ thrhrt
Remember that VAMPIRE, named, SPIKE?
A BLOOD-SUCKING FIEND, Hard, to LIKE;
Put the Moves, on BUFFY,
Seemed, like, a TOUGHIE;
For Him, EVIL, was, like, RIDING A BIKE.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 307,657 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ thrhrt
At the Hotel, The VAMPIRE found WORK,
At the Front Desk, as the All-Night CLERK;
His Hypnotic EYES,
Guests, did MESMERIZE;
But, to Him, It was, just, one, more, PERK!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 307,887 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ???
THE EVIL WITCH Consumed Her own POTION,
Which, made, Her, a MERMAID, in the OCEAN;
She swam the Ocean's BREADTH,
Dragged Sailors, to Their DEATH;
Who knew, when She conceived that NOTION!
Zombie Mad ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ???
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 308,130 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
In this Hectic World, driven, by THE LITERARY,
We'll admit, that, ofttimes, Things are SCARY;
This FACT Is a GIVEN,
It's, all, Process DRIVEN,
Which is, why, Adults, fear, The TOOTH FAIRY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 308,300 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:D
'Twas, a Sacred Ceremony, so, SOLEMN,
In which, a Rabbi had created a GOLEM;
Mistake! Tainted CLAY;
Went, Madly, ASTRAY!
Turned, into a WEREWOLF, to MAUL 'EM!
:angel: ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 308,464 times)
::) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :'(
In Childhood, he was, known, as a "DULL YOUTH",
Until, he, escaped, his Home Town, of DULUTH;
Boys will be BOYS,
& need many TOYS;
Yet, his downfall was his discovery, of 100-PROOF!
::) ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 308,578 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
VAMPIRES & ZOMBIES are SECOND RATE,
They, cannot, do, the One, Thing, GREAT;
The Dead KING did RISE,
Ascended, beyond the SKIES;
Live, on, in LOVE, as We choose Our FATE.
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 308,630 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ hmjfym
Our Dearests: BELA, and, BORIS, and, LON,
Their Autographed Photos, We, now, PAWN;
'Tho', no, longer, on this EARTH,
Their Lives, still, Hold, WORTH;
May, that, be said, of Us, once, We're, GONE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 308,720 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
No matter, what, Others might SAY,
The VAMPIRES come, out, to PLAY;
Whence comes the NIGHT,
They fly, out, for a BITE;
Eat GARLIC, Raw & wait, for the DAY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 308,888 times)
:-[ ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
I guess, I, just, missed, YESTERDAY!
Somehow, the TIME, Drifted, AWAY!
The ZOMBIES, so, HUNGRY,
Like, Wasps, that, Stung, ME;
Ate My BRAIN, so, I wear a TOUPEE!
:-[ ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 308,958 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :o
There, once, was a SPIRIT, named, SHERRIE,
Who became an APPRENTICE TOOTH FAERIE;
With PLIERS, in HAND,
She was, not, in DEMAND;
But, seeing a Tooth, to Pull, She'd, not, TARRY!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,070 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THESE, are, STRANGE, TIMES, and, It SHOWS,
SPRING is, LAVISHLY, WILD, amidst SNOWS;
The MUMMY, RETURNS,
Yet, doth, still, YEARN;
For Ancient Egypt, where, only, Sand, BLOWS!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,139 times)
:'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
I look, outside, tonight, while it SNOWS,
WINTER'S Final Return? It, really, BLOWS;
One, last, RESORT,
To make a Snow FORT;
For My friend, the YETI, to follow His NOSE.
:'( ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,209 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ C:) ~~~~~ >:D
This Oddly-Weathered Weekend, SPENT,
My Weed-Bed Yard, not, a, single, DENT;
Wish I had the TIME,
& Commit a Major CRIME;
I'd kill, them, all, &, to h*ll, they be SENT!
:'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ C:) ~~~~~ >:D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,309 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~ ??? ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~~~ :angel:
Hath yon UMA LIMERICK BEAST been, QUELLED,
Some say, that, They'd heard Its DEATH-KNELL;
All, Rumours and LIES,
Said Beast doth DESPISE;
I can, see, that, It, Is, still, getting, on, SWELL!
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~ ??? ~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,370 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
TODAY'S WARMTH, felt, just, like, SPRING,
As Flowers are, Blooming, and, Birdies, SING;
But, that's, not, ALL,
For, after NIGHTFALL;
Our pulsating Blood is the Vampire's "THING"!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ ;D ~~~~ :o ~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,459 times)
:'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
GREAT SORROW, was, The Ultimate COST,
When, THE MUSHROOM PEOPLE, LOST;
Last words, They UTTERED,
"No! We've been BUTTERED;
With Steak & Onions: DOUBLE-CROSSED!"
:'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,535 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym
The Leaves, reappearing, on TREES,
The Air, filled, with Birds and BEES;
These warm days, a WONDER,
Next week, Nature's BLUNDER;
As THE YETI, Returns, upon SKIS!!!
:blank: ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,590 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :angel:
That EVIL TROLL, lay, hidden, in WAIT,
For a Victim, to come, through His GATE;
Next, showed, up, a DRAGON,
Who, sure, 'Fixed, His WAGON';
Mysterious, ain't it; the Workings, of FATE!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,679 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The VAMPIRES approached my bed, NIGHTLY,
Drawing, closer, breathing, ever, so, SLIGHTLY;
To Me, they're, all, DROSS,
So, I pulled, out, My CROSS;
As Their ASHES piled, up, I said: "BITE ME!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,740 times)
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ tynhrt
THE ZOMBIES were, Trapped, in the SNOWS,
So, COLD, They lost Four Limbs, and, a NOSE;
When They started a FIRE,
It became a Raging PYRE;
Along, with Their Ashes, Their SPIRITS, AROSE!
Zombie Blush ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,809 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER, decided, to LEAVE,
"I, don't, care, what, you, BELIEVE!"
"I'm, treated, so, BADLY,"
Said He, rather, SADLY;
My Heart feels, more, like, a SIEVE!"
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~ ededed ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 309,877 times)
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ Zombie Alien
THE CYCLOPS had, just, Roasted a SAILOR,
In a Way, reminiscent, of VLAD, The IMPALER;
The Victim, quite, GOTH,
Yet, Man, of the CLOTH;
CYCLOPS Relished, Consuming, This TAILOR!
:o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ Zombie Alien
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 310,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ thrhrt
RENFIELD had Desired, to go, on a QUEST,
VLAD said: "Does, that, mean, Going WEST?"
In Lieu, of REPLY,
He Munched, on a FLY;
Saying: "No, I'll, play, it, close, to the VEST."
thrhrt ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 310,130 times)
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ hmjfym
A GIANT INSECT, of, such, Pure, EVIL,
It looked, like, a MUTANT BOLL WEEVIL;
A Child saved the DAY,
Had a Can, of Bug SPRAY;
Rendered This MONSTER, ILL & FEEBLE!
Zombie Razz ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :D ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 310,250 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE VAMPIRE had, sealed, His own DOOM,
He, never, should have, left, That ROOM;
Outside, Day, DAWNED!
Fare-Well, Hell-SPAWN!
We'll sweep, up, His ashes, with a BROOM!
thrhrt ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 310,375 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE GHOUL sat, there, Eating His PREY,
Another Ancient Tomb, robbed, that, DAY;
His Unholy FEAST,
Marks, Him, a BEAST;
No MUMMIES' CURSE keeps, Him, AWAY!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 310,510 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE BLOB, just, kept, on, GETTING, FATTER,
"I, really, don't know, what, is the MATTER!"
"It's a Taste DECISION,
To Eat POLITICIANS;
Their 'Hot Air' blows, Me, up, like, a BLADDER!"
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 310,622 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ tynhrt
Ravenous ZOMBIES Appeared, after DARK,
Their prospects, for "Carry-Out", quite, STARK;
Searching Back ALLEYS,
Ran, into The O'MALLEYS;
LEPRECHAUNS, who Disappeared, for a LARK!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 310,777 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:(
THE THREE MONSTERS created Their FORUM,
DRAC, FRANK and LARRY, Rich, in DECORUM;
Their Legends, CLASSIC,
Not, Pickled, like, VLASIC;
They'd seen, Such, before, &, DEPLORED 'EM!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 310,925 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[
The Sad GHOST, in Her GRAVE, sat, ALONE,
"I've naught, left, now, save, SKIN & BONE;
My Earth-life, I Fear, IT,
No one comes, Near, IT;
The Writing's, even, worn, off, The STONE."
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 311,071 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
We're, Now, HALF-WAY, away, from The FALL,
TIME, Again, to, REALLY, get, "On The BALL";
My INTERNAL VOICES,
Voice, so, many, CHOICES;
For HALLOWEEN! I, just, might, be, Them, ALL!
tynhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 311,151 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed
THE MONSTER sought, to have, FUN,
"HORRIBLE, having, to be, 'On The RUN'!"
He's, Totally, BARMY,
In our U.M. ARMY;
Writes LIMERICKS, 'cos, He likes, to PUN!
ededed ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 311,231 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
A Vampire's Castle, with Cobweb, FESTOONED,
A Lone, Poor, Traveler, after Dark, MAROONED;
Sounds, glide, over STONE,
Proving, He's, Not, ALONE;
Decades, later, such, a Scene, is, LAMPOONED.
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 311,341 times)
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
THE ZOMBIES were Creating The STEW,
Using LEFT-OVERS, of, All, Their GRUE;
"We toss, in a SPICE,
The Droppings, of MICE;
Which makes, Us, turn, a lovely BLUE!"
Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Razz ~~~~ Zombie Mad ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 311,461 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'(
The Lone MUMMY was, out, in the SANDS,
Of EGYPT, where, He made His DEMANDS;
"I'm, tired, of this CRAP,
I'm, in need, of New WRAP;
& TANA Leaves, that don't come, in CANS!"
:blank: ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 311,581 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE VAMPIRE CLAN had started a CHOIR,
Melodious Voices, like, Birds, on the WIRE;
They put, on, a SHOW,
The Audience did KNOW;
Their last Song would be Sung, on the PYRE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 311,670 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
This night's hour, hath, grown, rather, LATE,
I shouldst, be, Asleep, yet, 'tis My FATE;
As, in, through, My DOOR,
A BAT, fell, to My FLOOR;
Transformed, into a Lovely Lady, called KATE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 311,771 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
WALPURGIS-NACHT came, and, it, WENT,
Gave WITCHES 1, more, Chance, to VENT;
The Cost, of New BROOMS,
Hovels, out, in The GLOOM;
Which, Now, They can put, up, for RENT!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 311,841 times)
:-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt
THE BRIDE, "ALIVE", screamed, at Her MATE,
He could see, They wouldn't get, along, GREAT;
He'd done His very BEST;
"She hate, Me, like, the REST!"
His next Action would, forever, cease Her HATE.
:-* ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 311,961 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-*
This Weekend has, all, but, DRIED, UP,
So, Tomorrow, WORK refills Our CUP;
Of yearnin' & PRAYIN',
Hey, I'm, just, SAYIN';
ONLY, FIVE DAYS, To Go, Until: "YUP!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 312,031 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There was, Almost, a VAMPIRE, named, MARK,
Who perished, due, to a Myocardial INFARCT;
It happened, at His WAKE,
Friends pounded a STAKE;
Into His HEART - the Result was, quite, STARK!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 312,090 times)
Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE ZOMBIES were, not, very, WISE,
Convinced, that, they'd won a PRIZE;
They went, to COLLECT,
But, got, No, RESPECT;
HEAD SHOTS; everyone, of Them, DIES!
Zombie LOL ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 312,200 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ ;)
THE RAVEN Quoth: "NEVERMORE", &, then: "CAW"!
As He, like, Us, sails, through the Mid-Week BLAHS;
In a, mere, Two, Days, MORE,
We'll LOVE, What's, in STORE;
Another WEEK-END, filled, with "Oohs" & "AAHHHS"!
:o ~~~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 312,287 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE WEREWOLF was, OUT, OF CONTROL,
DEVOURING His Hapless PREY, WHOLE;
"This is My CHANCE,
To hell, with NUANCE!
As a MONSTER Legend, I Take, No, BULL!"
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ u6juu ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 312,342 times)
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D
THE DINOSAURS, lasted, Millions, of YEARS,
We've, no, Record, of Their Fossilized TEARS;
While, We, in Our MEDIA,
Prove, We're, TEDIOUS;
As We drench Our Dark Sorrows, with BEERS!
:o ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 312,412 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
The DAWNING'S LIGHT, so, Abruptly, BROKE,
Caught The VAMPIRES, like, so, much, SMOKE;
Gasps and SCREAMS,
Truncated DREAMS;
PILES, of ASHES, like, some, STRANGE, JOKE!
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 312,471 times)
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
DOC PRETORIUS was an olde, drunken, SOT,
His weakness, for GIN, oft, got, him, CAUGHT;
To Create THE BRIDE,
Was One, Wild, RIDE;
Its UNHAPPY ENDING, left, Him, with NAUGHT!
ededed ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 312,570 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :o
THE GHOST, angrily, Berated THE VILE GHOUL,
"Not, since, My death, have I met, such, a FOOL;
It's, Impossible, to SAVE,
You've Eaten, from My GRAVE;
I'm 'Passing, Through', as a Part, of Your STOOL!"
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 312,612 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S Crypt, the Sun, going, DOWN,
Poor, Crazy, RENFIELD Opts, to play The CLOWN;
Empty Coffin, to HIDE,
Oops! There's a BRIDE;
She wore a Big Smile, but, DRAC, wore a FROWN!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 312,903 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
No, Word, from me, in the past Forty-Eight HOURS,
I'm, too, busy, adapting, to My, New, SUPERPOWERS;
I can Walk & Chew GUM,
Panhandle, like, a BUM;
Or, Turn, into a BAT, &, Fly, from My Castle TOWER!
:o ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 313,003 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ tynhrt
The CREATURE crawled, out, of a LAKE,
The TOURISTS declared: "He's a FAKE!"
They started, to SWARM,
It Heated, way, past, WARM;
All, Devoured, by His ANACONDA SNAKE!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 313,100 times)
;D ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
LIMERICKS are the UMA's "STAB", at PUNDOM,
Content, of those Five Lines, are a CONUNDRUM;
In, all, of Our GLORY,
We rival Uncle FORRY;
And, sadly, some, of them, Elicit: "PUN? DUMB!"
;D ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 313,173 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
A New Maid, unsuspecting, was, TRAPPED,
In the VAMPIRES' Den, in, BATS, FLAPPED;
Assumed Human FORM,
As, if, it were the NORM;
To tidy, up, 'loose ends', Blood was SAPPED!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 313,259 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The HAINTS flew, out, of Their GRAVES,
To scare the Living, and, make WAVES;
"They'll, not, forget US,
As We've vomited PUS;
To make, Them, Our Mindless SLAVES!"
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 313,313 times)
Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o
THE ZOMBIE Married a very, Sweet, VAMPIRE,
To protect, Her, from STAKE, CROSS and FIRE;
His LOVE was UNFEIGNED,
More, HEART, than, BRAINS;
From Their 'WORK', They shall, Never, RETIRE!
Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie In Luv ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 313,391 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8)
The WEREWOLF tripped, over the CLIFF,
Strong Winds, luckily, gave, Him, a LIFT;
Feet, firm, on the SOIL,
He attacked a MOYLE;
Who, before Dying, gave, Him, a GIFT!
:blank: ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 313,515 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :'(
The MONSTER had, just, Found a FRIEND,
Who would Help, His poor heart, to MEND;
'Twas Heaven, on EARTH,
Days, of Genuine MIRTH;
'Til He learned, all, Good Things must END!
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 313,655 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
"I am COUNT DRACULA, your New HOST,
You look, like, you're Scared, by a GHOST;
I might appear, PALE,
Yet, I shall, not, FAIL;
To prove, if, you wrong, Me, you're TOAST!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 313,953 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :laugh:
THE MUMMY was Showing, SIGNS, of MOLD,
"That's, PROOF, that, I am getting, too, OLD;
With Blessings, of RA,
I'll move, to FLORIDA;
In The FOUNTAIN, bathe, for Youth, UNTOLD!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 314,125 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE BLOB couldn't contain His DROOL,
A STADIUM, filled, with YUMMY "FUEL";
He ate, 'til He BURST!
But, that's, not, the WORST;
'Twas the Horrid STENCH, of His STOOL!
hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 314,234 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ ;D
In ye Alde, MANOR, Ye GHOSTS wert HOSPITABLE,
Ye VAMPIRES, tho', wert, oft, Most, DESPICABLE;
Set, within a MARSH,
Ye Nights wert HARSH;
Guests departeth Ye Premises, Quite, AMICABLE!
tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ ;D
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 314,368 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ :'(
SWEENEY TODD'S "Art" became, famously, VISCERAL,
MEAT PIES, of a Source, undetected, yet, PASSABLE,
Until, alerted, by COPS,
Police busted His CHOPS;
Using, as Main EVIDENCE, His Infamous CASSEROLE!
:o ~~~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 314,444 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
THE MONSTERS became, INFAMOUS, for GORE,
Exploits, left, Stunned Viewers, wanting, MORE;
Offers, some, EXPLANATION,
Why, some, POPULATION'S,
Ability, to separate Truth, from, Lie, is so, POOR.
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :'(
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 314,555 times)
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Shocked
THE MONSTER broke, up, Their PARTY,
THE VAMPIRES were being, too, ARTSY;
"We do, that, for FREE,
It's called: 'ART-EREE'!"
That's, why, FRANKENSTEIN got FARTY!
thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 314,714 times)
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
THE ZOMBIE looks, so, GROSS, Eating FLESH,
He scares, Me, yet, I watch, Him, AFRESH;
I Hide, UNDERGROUND,
So, I, can't, be FOUND;
My Dung-Heap Hide-Out, He, won't, THRESH!
Zombie Cool ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 314,804 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, PAT,
Who wore, only, a Black Cape and TOP HAT;
Some thought, Him, "ARTY",
And, Great Fun, at PARTIES;
Made you feel, at home, right, off, the BAT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 315,035 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
THE WILL-O'-THE-WISP stood, CRYING,
The Green Season, about, Him, was, FLYING;
"I, just, did, not, MEAN,
To, thus, vent My SPLEEN;
But, if, I'd said, I was Happy, I'd be LYING!"
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 315,385 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
BATS, Rats, Spiders & Flies, Appeared, in DROVES,
Called, by COUNT DRACULA, from Castle ALCOVES,
Like, MAGIC, APPEARING,
Left, Onlookers, A-FEARING;
Save, RENFIELD, Who, spiced, them, with CLOVES!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 315,770 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE MONSTERS will, Seldom, RELENT,
RARER, still, Their DESIRE, to REPENT;
It's, Always, about, MORE,
Whether, BLOOD, or, GORE;
It's the only time, They seem CONTENT!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 316,143 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, TELLY,
Who's, Lack, of HYGIENE, left, Him, SMELLY;
Each night, in His CRYPT,
For this snack, He FLIPPED;
A Macabre 'Substitute' Peanut Butter & JELLY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 316,511 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
That Ancient, Greek, VAMPIRE, ANTIGONE,
Centuries, later, fell, madly, in Love, with ME;
Our life, Hunted and HARRIED,
She was, already, MARRIED;
She was, brought, up, on charges, of BIGAMY!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 316,803 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :blank:
THE WEREWOLF, OF LONDON was COOL,
He "did, not, suffer, Gladly, Any, FOOLS!"
He thought Dr. YOGAMI,
To be, rather, BALMY;
Stealing Dr. G's FLOWERS led, to a DUEL!
:blank: ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :blank:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 316,853 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named MOE,
One, whom, "on the uptake", was, "SLOW";
New, to Undead 'LIFE',
Tried, to Bite, His WIFE;
She staked, Him, while, telling, Him, "NO!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 316,950 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
In the SAME WAY, in which, VAMPIRES, FEED,
This ARMY'S HUNGER, is, Based, upon NEED;
By ye Ghost, o' James WHALE,
We shalt, soon, Tip the SCALE;
3-HUNDRED & 17,000; in a mere 50 READS!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,000 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ tynhrt
Each MONSTER keeps Its Own, SPECIAL, CREED,
Like, the Strange colors, of the Blood, they BLEED;
Whether, Winged or BIPEDAL,
They Manufacture Great EVIL;
They are, ultimately, the Horrors, of which We READ!
hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,057 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
THE DINOSAURS didn't know Their "TIME WAS UP",
Neither, VENERABLE TRICERATOPS, Nor, T-REX PUP;
From, far, Outer SPACE,
To Smash Earth's FACE;
A LONE, GIANT, ASTEROID, in ONE, SINGLE, DROP!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,103 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, MOORE,
Who's escape was, to 'melt', through the FLOOR;
Didn't know, where, He WENT,
He's, now, Trapped, in CEMENT;
Slight misjudgement proved His reasoning, POOR!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,157 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym
The CLASSIC MONSTERS follow a Special MOTIF,
To be a True Fan implies having a TOTAL BELIEF;
When you see the MOUTH,
Is when, things, "GO, SOUTH";
Unlike, NORMAL Humans, THEY have MO' TEETH!
thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,231 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY, touted, as, being, TOO, RECKLESS,
Odd, as mild-mannered, He was called, FECKLESS;
Sought, Him, a WIFE,
Raised, up, His KNIFE;
ISIS came, to LIFE, which, Left, Him, DRECKLESS!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,271 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
That VILE VAMPIRE was, Both, CAD AND BOUNDER,
He'd turn His VICTIMS' BODIES, into 3/4-POUNDERS;
He bragged, of this FEAT,
Made a Fortune, in MEAT;
Got, Himself, STAKED, Tasted, rather, like, FLOUNDER!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,371 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
There, once, was a VAMPIRE, named, MICK,
Hard time, finding Blood, out, in the STICKS;
He used His ALLURE,
To Lure old LEMURS,
Slow on the Uptake & Fooled by His TRICKS.
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,431 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THAT MAD WEREWOLF was HOWLING, All, NIGHT,
The VILLAGERS were, All, SPOOKED, with FRIGHT;
No one was HURT,
Save, Ernie... or, BERT;
Discovered His Bark was, not, Worse, than His BITE!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ >:D ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,511 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA Arose, Feeling, So, OLD,
"Gone, the Endless Nights, of feeling, BOLD;
After 500 YEARS,
I am Near TEARS;
I've lost My True Love & Her Heart, of GOLD."
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,597 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA'S BRIDE forgot Her PURSE,
Dr. Van HELSING'S "Find", might prove ADVERSE;
Then, She got, LUCKY,
As RENFIELD was, PLUCKY;
Got Van HELSING, bitten, by a VAMPIRE NURSE!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ ;) ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
***WARNING: NSFW nor the EASILY OFFENDED!!***
(WW2-era stuff from dad.)
"There once was a lady from Wheeling
She had a particular feeling
She laid on her back, opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling!"
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,687 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
As the PUMPKINS are, Ripening, on the VINE,
I have, already, claimed the BIGGEST, as MINE;
Several months, MORE,
HALLOWEEN is, in STORE;
MONSTER-KIDS will sing the Song of New WINE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,770 times)
Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~~~ ;)
THE OLD WITCH had called The GOBLIN, to TASK,
"Show Some RESPECT! Is it, too, much, to ASK?!"
"You've had the GALL,
To say: 'WARTS & ALL';
Self-Satisfied, in Your Juvenile Humor, You, BASK!"
Zombie Mad ~~~~~~~ Zombie LOL ~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Grin ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,827 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
The VAMPIRE Clan created a MIXED COVEN,
With Local WITCHES, for the purpose, of LOVIN';
While testing Their METTLE,
In walked Hansel & GRETEL;
Who baked, both, of those Groups, in the OVEN!
thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,891 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
THE VAMPIRES know, what, BLEEDS,
As that's, precisely, how, They FEED;
As Creatures, from HELL,
With acute sense, of SMELL;
Undeterred, by, either, Flower, or, WEED.
{Save, WOLF'S-BANE & GARLIC}
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 317,957 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY had to Steal His CARTOUCHE,
To keep, it, 'Under Wraps', from The NEWS;
To Protect His NAME,
From Front-Page FAME;
Lest, His Fortunes change, in a "SWOOSH"!
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318,000 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The VAMPIRE SPECIES, with Intent, ABORNING,
Got a HUGE SHOCK, Delivered, sans, WARNING;
When, many, were TURNING,
They, also, were BURNING;
In a Crystal-Walled Crypt; It let in The MORNING!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318,043 times)
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;)
The FIRST DAY, of JULY, is, upon US!
As, Good, a Time, as, Any, to FUSS!
NIGHTS getting, LONGER,
VAMPIRES are STRONGER;
For Intestinal Fortitude, Buy a TRUSS!
:blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ :o ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318,100 times)
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ 8)
There was an ACCURSED GYPSY, named, BELA,
Who was a, Really, Most, Remarkable, FELLOW;
'Til, Larry raised CANE,
To Bash, in, His BRAIN;
Since, Then, His "Life" became, rather, MELLOW!
:blank: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ 8)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318141 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;)
The old HUNCHBACK walked, to the STORE,
Promptly, forgot, what He went, there, FOR;
He carried, only, a SACK,
As, soon, as, He got BACK;
He claimed, that, His Poor Back was, SORE!
:angel: ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318,183 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
On JULY, 4th, This Day, of GREAT WORTH,
FREEDOM, Accessible, to, All, was BIRTHED;
To the Whole UMA,
I'd, like, to SAY;
I pray Your Hearts retain Their Great GIRTH!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318,218 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
'Twas Five Decades, Ago, TONIGHT,
It delivered a TERRIBLE FRIGHT;
Rare THUNDERBOLT,
It gave, Me, a JOLT;
Hit, by a CAR, yet, B.G.G., ALRIGHT!
:angel: ~~~~~ :o ~~~ :angel: ~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318,270 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
There, once, was a Miserable GHOST,
Who haunted a ZOMBIE, His HOST;
Made a New PYRE,
Set ZOMBIE, AFIRE;
Now, in the Graveyard, He's TOAST!
tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Nuetral ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318,308 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA went, out & "Got HAMMERED",
RENFIELD, in Total SHOCK, Only, STAMMERED;
"Spiders, Flies & FLEAS,
Saint Christopher LEE;
As BELA'S TWIN could be 'KATZENJAMMERED'!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318,437 times)
:-* ~~~ ODE To The HAMMER MAIDENS ~~~ :-*
The VAMPIRES were laughing, out, LOUD,
Their New Recruit, really, did them, PROUD;
She infected a whole TOWN,
Folks thought, Her, a CLOWN;
In reality, She was, just, WELL-ENDOWED!
:-* ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318,500 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The Ancient VAMPIRE suffered, from a BAD JOINT,
Until, Revived, once, again, by a BLOOD-ANOINT;
With His Fangs, BARED,
Very Few, Well, FARED;
Unless, Cross revealed, with Command: "AROINT!"
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 318,853 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :angel:
The JAWS' Shark, BRUCE, voiced, by PETER LORRE,
Instrumental, as a Plot-Twist, in "FINDING DORY"
Censors cut out His PART,
So, much, for HIGH ART;
Reported, from The Great Beyond, by UNCLE FORRY!
:o ~~~~~~~ ??? ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :-[ ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 319,050 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt
The Night Winds were Wild and FREE,
They Remind, Me, EXACTLY, of, ME;
Folks believe, Me, BATS,
But, that's Where, Its, AT;
Join, Me, for a BITE, and, You'll SEE!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ;D ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 319,419 times)
:o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
I REALIZE, That, It's Been SEVERAL DAYS,
SUMMERTIME, and, Sometimes, I'm DAZED;
To break this BLIGHT,
I offer, This, TONIGHT;
ZOMBIES Munch, on Guts, largely, UNFAZED!
:o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ Zombie Cool ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 319,546 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
The VAMPIRES have gorged, on My BLOOD,
I, then, drank Theirs; it tasted, like, MUD;
My Top-hat, I'm DOFFIN',
Fun, to sleep, in a COFFIN;
And, watch re-runs, of Bugs & Elmer FUDD!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Count Dracula boarded a train.
A woman demanded his name.
She was the Conductor,
He bit her and sucked her.
Thus giving her his name in vein!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 319,700 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o
We LAMENT, to See SUMMER, Draw, to an END,
Hot Sunny Days, our oldest and dearest FRIEND;
Great Joy, we shall GLEAN,
Up, Through HALLOWEEN;
Then, Winter's ice & snow, our minds will BEND!
:o ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 319,709 times)
ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
A Profound Honour, to have PACKY PAUL,
Fill, in, my LIMERICK ABSENCE and ALL;
Worse, than UNDEAD,
He "Fathered" this THREAD;
Forget Ghost-Busters, Who you gonna CALL?!
ededed ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
Quote from: packy120353 on August 07, 2018, 06:05:34 AM
Count Dracula boarded a train.
A woman demanded his name.
She was the Conductor,
He bit her and sucked her.
Thus giving her his name in vein!
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 319,739 times)
:-* ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
She dove, off, of THE GREAT BARRIER REEF,
Expected, to find CORAL, Not, CORNED BEEF;
Yet, an Unexpected FEATURE,
Was an Underwater CREATURE;
They Married, so, Their Kids could have TEETH!
:-* ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~ ;D ~~~~ 8) ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 319,811 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
A Tortured VAMPIRE could, not, "GET IT RIGHT",
Yet, He would, not, "Give, Up", without a FIGHT;
The BLOOD that He SOUGHT,
IT cannot be BOUGHT;
He took COMMUNION & PERISHED That NIGHT!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 319,970 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Their VAMPIRE CLAN decided, to FEAST,
To swell Their Ranks, by Great INCREASE;
They got, in the GROOVE,
Made, ONE, False MOVE;
Got Decimated, by Van HELSING'S BEAST!
thrhrt ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 320,003 times)
:'( ~~~~~ chain_saw ~~~ 8) ~~~ :P ~~~~~ :laugh:
SLOWER, than, MOLASSES, "The READS",
Lest, I WRITE, more, often, then, it BLEEDS;
To get, back, "On TRACK",
With, more, Verbal SNACK;
I'll hope, that, it's Something, You, NEEDS!
:'( ~~~~~ chain_saw ~~~ 8) ~~~ :P ~~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 320,452 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
We stand, now, at SEPTEMBER, THE FIRST!
Summer's heat is, hopefully, passed its WORST;
TIME goes, on, SPINNING,
We're Losing & WINNING;
Our Calendrical Dance is, so, WELL-REHEARSED!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ 8) ~~~~~ ;D ~~~~~~~ ;)
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 320,910 times)
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
The ZOMBIES, so, Sick, that, They HURLED,
Doubled, Over, so, far, They looked CURLED;
The 'BAIT' was, so, LAME,
So, where, to lay BLAME:
Stealing Old JOKES, of UNCLE MILTIE BERLE!
Zombie Shocked ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~ Zombie Confused ~~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ Zombie LOL
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 321,027 times)
tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Shocked
I can Feel HALLOWEEN, in the AIR,
Oh, it's gonna be, Great, I SWEAR;
Several weeks, to GO,
Fast, by, they'll BLOW;
&, I know, that, All, of you, CARE!
tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~ thrhrt ~~ ededed ~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 321,178 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
THE MONSTERS, Awoke, from Their SLUMBER,
From the Noises, made, by Their local PLUMBER;
"We'll Allow, Him, to LIVE,
For the Comfort, He GIVES;
Since, with Plumbing, We're, DUMB & DUMBER!"
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
I'll give this a go even though this is not a limerick per say.
There once was boy from nan....
Wait a minute. Hows this?
Crack that bone,break that head
Beat little brother until he's dead.
Shove him in the oven and turn it to bake.
Make sure to make room for the chocolate cake.
Poor little brother sure was sweet
The BEST little brother we ever did eat.
The only sour part was a big red blister.
Next month for Christmas we'll have little sister. >:D
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 321,288 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
SUMMER'S Last Day, DISAPPEARS,
Like, a GHOST, it Gives, us, FEARS;
Chocolate & Jelly BEAN,
We Love HALLOWEEN;
Yet, in WINTER, we shed Icy TEARS!
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 321,321 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
So, TODAY, Marks The First Day, of FALL,
We've Surmounted The ANNUAL WALL;
Despite, what the Year's BEEN,
We Crest, On, to HALLOWEEN;
FILLED, of MONSTERS and CANDY, Y'ALL!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Cool
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 321,371 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
So, TODAY, Marks Our FIRST WEEK, Of AUTUMN,
We've Surrounded The SEASON and CAUGHT 'EM;
At the Speed, We're CAREENING,
We're a SMASH, HALLOWEENING;
Knocking The MONSTERS, Right, on Their BOTTOM!
tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ Zombie Razz
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 322,183 times)
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
THE MUMMY was, Feeling, "The URGE",
"Being HUMAN, Remains, a SCOURGE;
For, the Need, to PEE,
From TANA-LEAF TEA;
Oft, Arrives, in ONE, MIGHTY, SURGE!"
hmjfym ~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 322,223 times)
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
SEPTEMBER'S Last Day is FAILING,
OCTOBER, at Midnight, ASSAILING;
Pardon, My PUNTH,
We enter the MONTH;
For HALLOWEEN Tales' REGALING!
tynhrt ~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ ededed ~~~~ Zombie Roll Eyes
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 324,270 times)
:-[ ~~~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ :-*
Seems, I've been, derelict, in my DUTY,
Now, ain't, That, a Kick, in the BOOTY;
October flew & got MISSED,
More, like, Cease & DESIST!
UNWRITTEN, 'twas, All, still, a BEAUTY!
:-[ ~~~~~ :o ~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~ Zombie Censored ~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 324,382 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
COUNT DRACULA flew, through His CASTLE,
To prevent RENFIELD, from being a RASCAL;
"Only, moments, 'til, DAWN,
That Vermin, Human-SPAWN;
Threatened, to let Sunlight, into My CASTLE!"
thrhrt ~~~~~ >:( ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 324,793 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
October's PUMPKINS are, all, Broken, and, ROTTING,
Plus, Their CANDLE-WAX is, Frozen and CLOTTING;
GHOSTS are, still, HAUNTING,
Despite, it, being DAUNTING;
As A CHRISTMAS CAROL Gig, Looms, in the OFFING!
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ tynhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 325,271 times)
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
Dear BORIS KARLOFF has, "DONE, IT, AGAIN!",
Reminding, us, all, that, He's, still, Our FRIEND;
Doggone SON, Of A GUN!
For A-HUNDRED-THIRTY-ONE;
He's lost, neither, TALENT, nor, CHARM! THE END.
:angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 325,783 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
In these shortening days, of the YEAR,
VAMPIRES, still, quaff BLOOD, not, BEER;
Some, even, love TASERS,
Yet, Beer, is, only, a CHASER;
As They wish, you, a HAPPY NEW FEAR!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 326,100 times)
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
The First Storm, of this Winter's SNOWS,
Is, Raging, about, us, and, we're FROZE;
Tomorrow is FELT,
Like, it, shall MELT;
'Round, here, that's, just, how it GOES!
:o ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ :o
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 326,808 times)
>:( ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :angel:
The Three Spirits, of Christmas, ARRIVED,
Like, The Classic Monsters, They THRIVED;
"We, each, use Our STINT,
To help Scrooge, REPENT;
So, like, Those Monsters, He SURVIVES."
>:( ~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 327,382 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
The evil, of VAMPIRES, is WELL-KNOWN,
We pray, that, They, cannot, be CLONED;
We, all, know Their NEED,
It sets, apart, Their BREED;
&, text Their next Meal, on CELL-PHONES!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~ thrhrt ~~~ :-* ~~~~~ thrhrt
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 330,354 times)
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
There, once, was a WEREWOLF, named FRED,
Who loved, to SNACK, on THE UNDEAD!
Gave, Them, Severe FRIGHT,
Those Creatures, of the NIGHT;
'Cos His Fangs, proved Their Blood, to be RED!
thrhrt ~~~~~ :blank: ~~~~~ thrhrt ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 333,563 times)
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
There was an Ancient MUMMY, named, NED,
Who, if, you'd, cut, deep, enough, He, BLED;
"I'm, oft, CONSTIPATED,
Yet, not, DESICCATED;
I'm, so, Iron-poor, my Blood's, no, longer, RED."
hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~~ hmjfym
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 335,375 times)
ededed ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ededed
DEAR BORIS' PASSING, hath, passed, 'round, yet, AGAIN,
Half-a-Century, Gone, yet, He remains Our DEAR FRIEND;
His Great Shadow, falls, Long, &, DEEP,
From Punxsutawney Phil, not, a PEEP;
Our LOVE, Cherished, in LIGHT, BORIS doth Sleep! AMEN!
ededed ~~~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~~~ ededed
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 338,201 times)
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
The News, abroad, is: "February hath FLED!"
Winter, 'tho', Dying, just, may, be, UNDEAD!
It, still, EGGS, us, ON,
Scrambled, GARCON!
A Cold, Hearty, Meal, UP, on, which we're FED!
tynhrt ~~~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~ tynhrt ~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 338,730 times)
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
Now, as, THE THREE-DAY COUNTDOWN, BEGINS,
If, It, seems, "FISHY", well, then, Clap Your FINS;
Ye Anniversary MARK,
'Twas, ever, a LARK,
In Ye Race, against Time, Jest Make Sure It WINS!
thrhrt ~~~~ ededed ~~~~~ hmjfym ~~~~~ tynhrt ~~~~ Zombie Shocked
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 338,900 times)
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :laugh:
TOMORROW... Well, you know what "THEY SAY":
SAINT PATRICK'S is, a Most, AUSPICIOUS, DAY;
Despite a distinct lack, Of LEAVEN,
We limp, into, NUMBER ELEVEN;
For a Re-Birth, of LIMERICK Punsters, we PRAY!
:angel: ~~~~~~~ :-* ~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :o ~~~~~~~ :laugh:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 338,970 times)
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~~~ :angel:
I, hope, My Notice, is, not, too, ALARMING,
For, I've taken, up, SHAMROCK FARMING;
Not, nearly, "The CRAZIES",
Of "Pushing, Up, DAISIES";
And, No Four-Leaf Clovers, I'll be HARMING!
:o ~~~~~~~ ::) ~~~~~ ;) ~~~~~ Zombie Blush ~~~~~~~ :angel:
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
WARNING: Irish Limericks Ahead (Read 339,000 times)
:-[ ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :-*
Our "KEEPIN' THE DAY", is, Again, nearly, SPENT,
Our SAINT PADDY'S ANNIVERSARY, Came & WENT;
'Tis, now, 9 PM; sans, NIBBLE,
I'm, fine, &, shan't, QUIBBLE;
For your Limerick writs, I hope; they're EXCELLENT!
:-[ ~~~~~~~ :'( ~~~~~ :( ~~~~~ :angel: ~~~~~~~ :-*
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS & BARONESS BETH & FRIENDS, GOO-OO-ODD, B.G.G.
It is better to be late than never Tim,
So congratulations as I tip my brim,
You've kept this thread alive,
While the posts have taken a dive,
So there's no need to be so grim.
Well done on keeping the thread going for 11 years Tim, it was a mammoth task you took on and you should be proud. I'm just sorry I could not help you as my life has been very busy these last few years. :)
Maurice
Never count out a monster dread,
Try to have fun even from bed.
As I post this Limerick,
For the beloved St Patrick,
I hope to re-read this thread,
As memories flowed nuff said.
;D
Have a safe and enjoyable St Patrick's day to all the members of the UMA forum.
As all monsters appear to be green,
It really is something to be seen,
They might have horns and scales,
But that never stopped the online sales,
And there's nothing nicer than that pristine sheen.
Happy St Patrick's Day to all the members.
As it's St Patricks day and the Creature being an honorary Irish man with his wearing of the green, here's a small tribute.
Their once was an actor called Browning,
Who swam without even drowning,
He took to the high Seas,
After rising a few degrees,
And now he'll smile without frowning.
In honour of the last great Universal monster, rest in peace Ricou.
Yes! The Lough Neagh Creature is Irish.
;)
Quote from: Hepcat on March 17, 2023, 08:53:32 PM
Yes! The Lough Neagh Creature is Irish.
;)
Hepcat, the myth of Lough Neigh involves two giants one in the North of Ireland and one in Scotland. The story goes that the Irish giant scoops up a handful of soil and throws it at the Scottish giant. Unfortunately he missed and where it landed created the Isle of Man, the remaining hole back back in Ireland became the Lough.