Author Topic: Excerpts from the diary of...  (Read 3847 times)

mike c

  • Sergeant
  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 1498
Excerpts from the diary of...
« on: February 01, 2008, 02:21:22 AM »
Bela the Gypsy:

-That skank Cher! Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves is so inaccurate!

-MAN do I wish I'd seen the pentagram on the palm of the $#^%! who sold me this crappy caravan...

-YES, Maleva, the way I walk IS thorny... hello, football injury!?!?!

-Who's this 'Wilford Brimley' and why do the kids keep calling me that?

-Had that damned dream again... drafty old castle, some crazy kid trying to sell me real estate or something... and as always, I woke just before those three hotties got to my coffin. Disturbing...

-You know, just between you and me, dear diary... I kinda LIKE peeing in the woods more as a man than as a wolf!

-Had lunch with Esmerelda again today, but I fear she will not have me. She says she 'wants to see Paris'...


Frankenstein's Monster:

X- Me have lunch with friend. Friend say me need 'Mate'. Me think no way; beer... football... gooooood!

XXX- Me have bad dream. Me narrate story some jerk steal Christmas. What in world 'Who Hash'?!?

XX- A Love Poem
      Me love you
      Me want you love me
      Me not want kill you
      Me want take you lake but me not run out flowers, me promise

XXXXX- Is just me, or Ygor gain weight?

XX- That Elsa Lanchester dreamy!




Mike C.

Meek

  • Sergeant
  • *****
  • Posts: 1379
Re: Excerpts from the diary of...
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2008, 11:13:51 AM »

   Fritz's diary:

   Aug. 1st:  Lost job at bakery making pretzels after telling off the Boss who thought he was funny by constantly saying "Are you sure about that Fritz or do you just have a hunch?"

   Aug. 3rd:  Looking for job. Ask at the hiring hall for Local #86 of the "Henchmen and Lab Assistants Guild" to see if anyone is hiring---no luck. Buggers!

   Aug. 6th:  Was just about to pawn my bicycle at the Goldstadt Hock 'n Shop when I very nice Englishman asked me if I needed employment--said he needed someone good at procuring hard to find parts--must be restoring something. What luck! Turns out he's the Herr Baron's kid back from medical school----I could have a job for life!

   Aug. 7th:  Herr Henry takes me out to show me where we'll be working--turns out to be the old watchtower up in the hills. Says he needs his privacy while he works---whatever, at least there won't be any neighbors to complain about odd hours or noise. Aw Buggers! Look at all those stairs---hasn't Herr Henry noticed I've got a bit of a problem here what with the walking and all? Hmmmn, maybe he's too polite to mention it. That's a plus in his favor.
          Workplace is impressive--very high ceilings---I hope he doesn't expect me to clean this joint as well but then there is the free room & board, so I guess I can overlook the lack of handicapped accessable stairs.

   Aug. 8th:  Herr Henry says I need some new clothes--at least one good suit, so we take the train to Vassaria to the local outlet of the "Small & Twisted Men's Shop" and found a really nice dark pin-striped suit with lots of room in the shoulders but the pants are way too big---story of my life. Will have to cinch them with a belt. Will end for now, duty calls.
"I am like a Unicorn in a racing stable. Beast doesn't fit."   T.E.Lawrence

mike c

  • Sergeant
  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 1498
Re: Excerpts from the diary of...
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2008, 11:48:16 AM »
Heheheh! Very good Meek...also, I think I could use a Small & Twisted Mens' shop!

Mike C.

fmofmpls

  • Army General
  • *****
  • Posts: 5435
  • Play nice!
Re: Excerpts from the diary of...
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2008, 03:31:13 PM »
Helen Chandler's diary:

*  That David Manners is such a ditz. He doesn't even know how to properly kiss a woman. Are there any REAL leading men in these silly horror films?

*  Mr. Lugosi is a nice enough man, but those smelly cigars of his are driving me crazy!

*  Mr. Browning asked me to try on a gown that he said was made by Vera West. I told him absolutely not! It looked more like a cheap negligee from a brothel.

* I keep receiving a telegram from somebody named Terry Ingram. He claims to be from the year 2008! That's 77 yrs in the future! These horror films are ruining our youth's minds. Poor lad.
The Famous Monster of Mpls.  Sayer of the law.

Meek

  • Sergeant
  • *****
  • Posts: 1379
Re: Excerpts from the diary of...
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2008, 09:50:11 PM »

   Fritz's diary, continued:

   August 12th:     Been very, very busy--mostly running up and down those bloody stairs to answer the door. Little did I know that I'd be working the graveyard shift---with heavy emphasis on the graveyard---hard-to-find spare parts indeed. Humph!
       Ah well, I'll say this for Herr Henry--he's got class---not many chaps can pull off looking casual yet debonair while graverobbing--must be that flowing ascot tied just so.

   August 13th:    Got my feelings hurt a bit last night during our little nocturnal scavenger hunt; for some odd reason there was a twilight funeral service and while I was attempting to get a better look at such a rare thing I got pushed down rather hard(mind the 'ump, 'enry) along with Herr Henry's  "Down . . .down, you fool!" Looks like a certain someone left his good manners back at the lab last night. But what really boiled my bum was that here I was told to "Get down!" and then Herr Henry just stood there like a statue. Well, I forgive him---he's got girl trouble and is a bit distracted---that dishy little blond of his is pestering him to get married. I wonder what she'll think of Herr Henry's little "hobby"? Good thing he's got his own place up in the hills---I doubt the soon-to-be Frau Frankenstein would let him tinker with his stuff in the cellar.   Is it just me or do I do most of the heavy lifting & dirty work around here? Me back is absolutely killing me after last night---guess this is what they mean by "busting your hump at work"---Hoots!
     Told Herr Henry last night that my back was giving me what-for but he said we only had one more stop to make before heading home, turned out to be the gallows at the cross roads and yours truly had to shinny up the 'effing thing to cut down the corpse. After all that bother it turned out to be damaged goods. I swear Herr Henry wasn't putting much effort into pushing that bloody cart while I was pulling.


     August 14th:  Asked Herr Henry if I could have the night off and he said "I'll think about it." so I just casually reminded him about the Guild's rules and the little matter of "overtime"---Herr Henry then said "Tomorrow O.K. with you?"

     August 15th:  On my way out for a night at the movies Herr Henry asked me if I ever thought about attending night school-----night school? How on Earth would I ever get into night school! Well, I'm off to the movies and then have a bit of a knees-up at the pub.
"I am like a Unicorn in a racing stable. Beast doesn't fit."   T.E.Lawrence

ProfGriffin

  • Corporal
  • ****
  • Posts: 455
  • Horror Historian
    • The Midnight Shadow Show
Re: Excerpts from the diary of...
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2008, 11:08:35 AM »
Kharis the Mummy.

(written on Papyrus)

Entry 1- 
Today my caretaker...High Priest Mehetmet Bey (a funny little man with a Turban) made a rather glib comment that he is 'taking a wife'.   I am over 3700 years old, and my mind isn't as sharp as it once was...but I'm pretty sure that's forbidden.  Now I'm faced with a issue. Do I strangle him now?  Or wait?   He really makes the BEST Tana soup...ohhh...man. 
I need to cut down on that.  Really.

Entry 2-
More Tana Leaf Soup.  I know it's bad for me to drink too much...and makes me crazy...but I really feel better when I drink it.  I promise I'll quit tomorrow.

Entry 3-
High Priest whats-his-name, actually had me kidnapp some lady he was all goo-goo over.  THIS is the new Bride of Karnak?  Plu-eeze!  Idiot. Been there, done that.  Look what happened to me!
OH I really want to strangle him now...
Ooooh, what's that smell?  Gotta go.  Something's brewing...

Entry 4-
High Priest dead, mob with torches chased me into a house and then they burned the thing down!  I only had ONE MORE Banning decendent to kill and then I could've gone back to Egypt...the mother-land.  But NOOOOOO.  The fez-wearer with the Jackal in his pants had to get all crazy! 
Damn I'm burned.
And there's no soup.
HEY! High Priest? Moron! Look at me! Look what happened to me!! And it's your fault!
Too bad he's dead...I really wanted to strangle him.
Hey...what's that  smell?

Gotta go...

XXX OO

Rest in Peace,

Prof. Griffin
Horror Historian

 

en iyi bahis siteleri

https://diziizle.wtf/

totobo