NEWS OF THE WORLD - Current Events (May Be Disturbing, No Politics Please)

[Fester]

The Canadian Maple Syrup Heist

The United States have the Strategic Petroleum Reserve. China has the Strategic Pork Reserve. And Canada? Apparently it has its own strategic maple syrup reserve and it's been hit by sticky-fingered thieves in what is probably the sweetest heist of all time:

    The warehouse in rural Quebec held more than C$30 million ($30.4 million) worth of maple syrup, a whopping 10 million pounds of the amber pancake topping.

    It was not clear exactly how much of the sweet stuff was taken in the heist, which occurred at some point over the last few days and was uncovered during a routine inventory check.

    "We don't know yet how much is missing - we do know it is significant," said Anne-Marie Granger Godbout, executive director of the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers.

    Numerous barrels in the warehouse were emptied of their sticky contents. The remaining barrels need to be weighed and tested to ensure the syrup inside had not been tampered with.

    The robbers "were wise enough, they tried to hide their crime," said Granger Godbout. "We just want to make sure we know how much is missing and how much is still there."





Rumour has it Aunt Jemima is wanted for questioning.




http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Maple+syrup+thieves+make+with+millions+pounds+Quebec+delicacy/7174697/story.html

[Sean]

I Would Have Preferred To Fall On My Face Than Catch The Nude Guy, Too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsiXurg9W5Q&feature=player_embedded#t=2s

[Fester]

Fan bites Danny Bonaduce at Wash. state casino
Associated Press – 6 hrs ago


TACOMA, Wash. (AP) — Former child TV star Danny Bonaduce says a crazed fan bit him during an event at a Washington state casino.

The former "Partridge Family" actor tells The News Tribune of Tacoma (http://is.gd/u3wfjM ) the woman asked him if she could kiss him and then sank her teeth into his cheek for about a minute until others pulled her off.

Bonaduce, who works these days as a radio DJ in Seattle, said the woman was taken into custody Friday, but he doesn't plan to press charges.

His face had a bright red mark a day later, when he said what he was thinking during the attack, "Bath salts," he said, referencing a designer drug linked to bizarre and violent behavior in users.

Bonaduce's wife, Amy, says her husband was treated with antibiotics.

http://news.yahoo.com/fan-bites-danny-bonaduce-wash-state-casino-180528372.html

___

[Moonshadow]

Bonaduce's wife, Amy, says her husband was treated with antibiotics.

http://news.yahoo.com/fan-bites-danny-bonaduce-wash-state-casino-180528372.html

Considering all the things Bonaduce has done, they better treat his attacker with antibiotics too.

[Fester]

Book'em Danno.  Grand Theft Groin!

That's not my groin, that's not my meth

SPOKANE VALLEY, Wash. -

A suspect found inside a Les Schwab Tire store in Spokane Valley after an alarm went off told deputies it was neither his groin nor his meth found in his groin area they recovered after arresting him Wednesday.

At 2 a.m. Wednesday deputies were dispatched to the Les Schwab Tires at 15911 E. Sprague Avenue where an alarm had gone off.

Deputies discovered an unsecured door and K-9 Brax and his handler entered the store to conduct a search. Brax and his handler immediately located Kenneth Hooper, 45, who readily complied with the deputy's commands.

After he was taken out of the store to the patrol car, a deputy found two golf ball sized baggies of methamphetamine in his groin area.

Hooper, when the baggies of meth were placed on the patrol car's hood, told the deputy it was not his groin and had no idea where the meth came from.

He was subsequently taken to the Spokane County Jail and booked on charges of 2nd degree burglary and possession of a controlled substance.

http://www.kxly.com/news/spokane-news/That-s-not-my-groin-that-s-not-my-meth/-/101214/17135354/-/3m4ei7/-/index.html?showAds=0

[Fester]

Bob Wilkins always said: "Watch Horror Films--Keep America Strong!"  Maybe this is what he meant . . .

Watching horror films burns nearly 200 calories a time
Watching a horror film could burn off a whole bar of chocolate, according to new research released today.

Viewers who put themselves through 90 minutes of adrenaline-pumping terror can use up as much as 113 calories, close to the amount burned during a half-hour walk and the equivalent to a chocolate bar.

The movie top of the list of calorie-burners was found to be the 1980 psychological thriller The Shining, with the average viewer using up a whopping 184 calories.

Jaws took the runner-up spot, with viewers burning on average 161 calories, and The Exorcist came third, with 158 calories.

The University of Westminster study measured the total energy expenditure of ten different people as they watched a selection of frightening movies.

Scientists recorded their heart rate, oxygen intake and carbon dioxide output - and discovered the number of calories used increased by on average a third during the films.

The research also revealed films featuring moments designed to make viewers jump in terror are the best calorie-burners, as they cause heart rates to soar.

Dr Richard Mackenzie, senior lecturer and specialist in cell metabolism and physiology at the University of Westminster, said: "Each of the ten films tested set pulses racing, sparking an increase in the heart rate of the case studies.

"As the pulse quickens and blood pumps around the body faster, the body experiences a surge in adrenaline.

"It is this release of fast acting adrenaline, produced during short bursts of intense stress (or in this case, brought on by fear), which is known to lower the appetite, increase the Basal Metabolic Rate and ultimately burn a higher level of calories."

Helen Cowley, editor of the movie rental company LOVEFiLM - which commissioned the University of Westminster study - said: "We all know the feeling of wanting to hide behind the sofa or grab a pillow when watching scary or hair raising scenes, but this research suggests that maybe those seeking to burn some calories should keep their eyes on the screen."

The top 10 calorie-burning frightening films were:

1. The Shining: 184 calories

2. Jaws: 161 calories

3. The Exorcist: 158 calories

4. Alien: 152 calories

5. Saw: 133 calories

6. A Nightmare on Elm Street: 118 calories

7. Paranormal Activity: 111 calories

8. The Blair Witch Project: 105 calories

9. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: 107 calories

10. [Rec]: 101 calories








http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9638876/Watching-horror-films-burns-nearly-200-calories-a-time.html

[Anton Phibes]

Bob Wilkins always said: "Watch Horror Films--Keep America Strong!"  Maybe this is what he meant . . .

Watching horror films burns nearly 200 calories a time
Watching a horror film could burn off a whole bar of chocolate, according to new research released today.

Viewers who put themselves through 90 minutes of adrenaline-pumping terror can use up as much as 113 calories, close to the amount burned during a half-hour walk and the equivalent to a chocolate bar.

The movie top of the list of calorie-burners was found to be the 1980 psychological thriller The Shining, with the average viewer using up a whopping 184 calories.

Jaws took the runner-up spot, with viewers burning on average 161 calories, and The Exorcist came third, with 158 calories.

The University of Westminster study measured the total energy expenditure of ten different people as they watched a selection of frightening movies.

Scientists recorded their heart rate, oxygen intake and carbon dioxide output - and discovered the number of calories used increased by on average a third during the films.

The research also revealed films featuring moments designed to make viewers jump in terror are the best calorie-burners, as they cause heart rates to soar.

Dr Richard Mackenzie, senior lecturer and specialist in cell metabolism and physiology at the University of Westminster, said: "Each of the ten films tested set pulses racing, sparking an increase in the heart rate of the case studies.

"As the pulse quickens and blood pumps around the body faster, the body experiences a surge in adrenaline.

"It is this release of fast acting adrenaline, produced during short bursts of intense stress (or in this case, brought on by fear), which is known to lower the appetite, increase the Basal Metabolic Rate and ultimately burn a higher level of calories."

Helen Cowley, editor of the movie rental company LOVEFiLM - which commissioned the University of Westminster study - said: "We all know the feeling of wanting to hide behind the sofa or grab a pillow when watching scary or hair raising scenes, but this research suggests that maybe those seeking to burn some calories should keep their eyes on the screen."

The top 10 calorie-burning frightening films were:

1. The Shining: 184 calories

2. Jaws: 161 calories

3. The Exorcist: 158 calories

4. Alien: 152 calories

5. Saw: 133 calories

6. A Nightmare on Elm Street: 118 calories

7. Paranormal Activity: 111 calories

8. The Blair Witch Project: 105 calories

9. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: 107 calories

10. [Rec]: 101 calories








http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9638876/Watching-horror-films-burns-nearly-200-calories-a-time.html

I dunno if I buy this one. I have been to many horror conventions. Not everybody there is  skinny. Just sayin'.

[Haunted hearse]

The only reason the "Blair Witch Project" would cause you to lose weight, is that the motion sickness you would get from watching that film would make it hard not to lose your last meal.

[zombiehorror]

Ok, that's it!  I'm waiting for the dvd to come out from now on!

"Blaec Lammers, of Bolivar, is accused of buying assault rifles and more than 400 rounds of ammunition in a plot mimicking the July mass shooting that killed 12 and wounded 57 at an Aurora, Colo., theater showing the premiere of the latest Batman movie, the Springfield News-Leader reports."


http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2012/11/16/twilight-missouri-man-charged-mass-shooting-plot/1710211/

"After he was taken in for questioning, Lammers admitted he had bought the firearms with the intention of shooting up the movie theater in Bolivar on Sunday. However, he later decided to also target a Walmart because he feared running out of ammunition and he would have access to additional ammunition inside the Walmart, according to court documents."

http://www.downrightcreepy.com/articles/article_twilight_mass_murder_plot.html

[Fester]

Hmm . . .

This sounds like Ex-wife #3 . . .

Woman 'had sex with skeleton'

A Swedish woman has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a skeleton.

The 37-year-old was charged with using human bones as sex toys after police found the skeleton in her apartment.

Prosecutor Kristina Ehrenborg-Staffas said the woman had a virtually complete skeleton, and said the bones had been used in an "unethical" way.

"I have never heard of a case like this and neither have my colleagues, so I dare to say that this kind of case is quite uncommon," she said.

"In the confidential section of the investigation we have material which indicates she used them in sexual situations."

The woman pleaded not guilty when she was formally charged with "violating the peace of the dead" at Gothenburg District Court.

"She admits to having the bones, but says she collected them out of a historical and archaeological interest," Ms Ehrenborg-Staffas said.

The prosecution's evidence included two CDs labelled "My necrophilia" and "My first experience" which contained a number of document files and pictures.

"She has a lot of photos of morgues and chapels, and documents about how to have sex with recently deceased and otherwise dead people," Ms Ehrenborg-Staffas said.

"You have to ask yourself why she would have those pictures."


http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Woman_had_sex_with_skeleton

[Unknown Primate]

Well, I guess it always has a b***r...

[Fester]

Well, I guess it always has a b***r...

That's like Ventriloquism!
I tried not to say it.
I thought it.
And someone else said it!

[Unknown Primate]

Oh, you definitely sent me a telepathic message to say something about it's b***r... I had no choice.

[Scatter]

Oh, you definitely sent me a telepathic message to say something about it's b***r... I had no choice.

Why am I picturing two rusty tin cans joined by a string?

[Unknown Primate]

You nailed it again, ya big ol' ape!