Author Topic: Fan Fiction: Abbott & Costello meet the Dreaded Sequel............EEEeeeekkkkk!  (Read 557 times)


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First off let me offer my apologies for this (although if the idea totally disgusts you just don't read it), it's been swirling around in my mind for years and years, even had a fairly completed version of it but lost it on a computer years ago.  Now that I find myself laid off with to much time on my hands I decided to revisit this unnecessary, unasked for sequel to what I hold as my all time favorite monster movie.  While certainly not perfect, Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein has always left me wondering a few things; Dracula wouldn't die from a fall, nor would the Wolfman and the monster was only burning for 5 seconds before plunging into the water so surely he survived, not to mention the fate of a few others in the movie.  If there is enough interest (or boredom) I'll go ahead and continue this as I find time and conjure further thoughts on the subject.  So without further ado I present to you, the harshest of monster critics,

Abbott & Costello meet.......untitled sequel to Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein

It's midnight, the wind howls, leaves rustle and blow across a deserted cemetery.  The moon is full.  How you got here and why you are urged to continue your zombie-like trek thru this desolate boneyard is unknown to you but you must go on....You finally come to your destination an impressive, ancient crypt of stone and marble.  Eroding from the elements, black mold fills every visible crevasse, a green moss makes it's home upon much of it's facade and the rest of it is almost completely covered in vines, a foreboding structure indeed.

You make notice of the meager offering of crudely inscribed warning signs, written in what you tell yourself most surely cannot be blood;


The heavy chains and rusty locks upon it's doors are obvious foreshadows that you should not be here but you do not heed the warnings.  You must continue on to discover your fate.  Pushing thru the decaying mahogany doors your fate indeed awaits you.....


A gasp excapes your throat before fear locks you up like some stonelike, graveyard monument.  You cannot believe that the ghastly, rotting figure that stands before you speaks and beckons to you!  The voice assaults your hears speaking thru years old dried out vocal chords, the breath scratching over the surface of a withered tongue and between cracked, rotting lips.

Oh, hello there and welcome!  I see you choose to ignore my signs, my chains and my locks and enter my decrepit crypt anyway.  What's that you say the locks were all unlocked, hhmpph must have been by oversight indeed, when the brain starts to rot you forget the common day to day things.  Well now that you're here you may as well pull up an urn, sit down and listen to a horrible tale of the macabre!


Please don't fear, don't fret.  I've no interest in harming you, at least not until my tale is told.  Besides now that the vault is closed there's no way out, until I let you out.   Just sit back relax and listen to my morbid tale.  First let me introduce myself, I'm Zombiehorror a fitting name indeed for one as dead-alive as I.  This is my eternal resting place, exquisite in it's own decaying gloom but home no less.  As I toil here in unrest I hear tales of those restless souls that roam these haunted grounds and now by some mistaken-misfortune of yours I have audience to relay their solemn tales...

As I tell this first nourishing-nugget of yore you may feel as though you know these individuals who's tales I tell, indeed a strange deja vue; was it a dream...a nightmare, are you perhaps one of these mishappen souls, have
you heard the tale before?  You may hear the tale and contemplate that it need not be told but I assure you that I must relay it.  I am compelled to spill every shockingly-gruesome twist and turn of it's darkening diatribe.  The souls in this tale thought that the new light of day would reveal a brighter tomorrow, that the events of the previous night were the end of their horrors but some monsters are not so easily laid to rest.....

An eerie calm as settled over the night as a lone dingy appears to row itself to the shore of a small island off the coast of a swampy marsh.  It glides ever so swiftly and makes land.  Footsteps appear from out of the dingy upon the sandy shore as if from out of nowhere.  The footsteps make their way toward a young couple who stand in shock and disbelief on the path leading up to an enormous castle.  As if from nowhere a voice offers, "Allow me to introduce myself, I'm the invisible man.  Are you perhaps Dr. Lejos and Dr. Mornay?".

The young man cannot believe his ears, though the events of the past evening leave his brain open to anything he simply stammers, ", you might be able to find them up there in the castle.".

The voice cordially replies, "Thank you, now perhaps you should attend to the young lady."  The young man turns to his female companion only to find her passed out in the sand.  Crouching down to help her, the strange self-
implanting footsteps continue on making their way along the path that leads to the castle.

I would feel remiss if at this point I did not quickly cover the current state of a few other players in our frightful fable.

Upon a small ledge on a higher level of the castle a distressed woman struggles to regain her consciousness, she ever so slowly reaches up to pull herself back toward to the window opening from which she was ever so violently thrust thru in hopes to make her way toward some semblance of safety.  She knows not what she may find still running loose inside the castle walls but she most assuredly cannot stay in her current position.  Her name is Dr. Mornay.  Her mind swirls with the thoughts of how she ended up in her current state; untold secret experiments that led her to be distrusted, disliked and run out of Europe.  All seemed lost for her, then hope sprang as if from out of nowhere when a doctor with seemingly similar interests offered her a position to help with an experiment of great magnitude.  Unfortunately for her a blind passion for science and medicine had led her straight into the hands of a monster, or several monsters as the case was.

Now let's turn our gaze upon a hapless soul indeed.  One of torment, sorrow, depression and loss but within all of that Larry Talbot always holds onto a glimmer of hope that he has a higher purpose that the
conflict within him must be for some untold meaning.  He must believe that, lest he go completely insane and give into the bloodlust that fills his every being.

At the bottom of a rocky cliff we see the body of a man being pounded into the huge rocks that stick out from upon the waters surface.  The roar of the ocean crashing upon these surfaces is deafening.  It's an angry sea indeed along this treacherous cliff side, one that surely no man could ever survive.  Lucky, or unlucky for Mr. Talbot he has not been a mere mortal for quite sometime.  An heavy, odd, cognizant fog offers over the restless sea, appearing to watch intent on making sure that the lifeless body is smashed to bits.  Suddenly the fog begins to swirl into a tight formation before slowly transforming into a huge vampire bat.  The new formed beast again looks down at the wave tossed corpse before swiftly flitting off toward the castle.

Questions?  You have questions?  All will be revealed in the unfolding of the tale.  I am glad to see you have come to be engrossed in this tale of terror, it seems to have filled you with an ease of which I did not notice when you first stumbled upon me visage....

Back at the sandy shoreline unbeknownst to those that are eager to leave this spook-show a monstrous hand slowly rises from the water reaching up for some offering of help.  Prof. Stevens has procured the dingy of the formless traveler whom he met earlier, his companion Joan lays upon the boats floor still safe from consciousness.  Dr. Stevens rows up upon two hapless men struggling to stay afloat in the chilly night water, he reaches out for them offering rescue.

The first man rescued into the boat says eagerly,"Thanks mister, I sure didn't look forward to swimming to shore.".  Both men help the other water soaked refuge into the boat.

The new found passenger offers up similar sentiments, "Yes, Thank you.".

Prof. Stevens humbly states, "No problem, I'm Prof. Stevens.  Are you two alright?". 

The first man introduces the duo, "McDougal and this here is Buck...I think we're alright, nothing some dry towels and a hot beverage won't cure.  Say what do you know about what's going on young fellow?

Prof. Stevens, "Apparently Dracula has come here to revive and perform a brain transplant on the Frankenstein monster and the wolfman is also here but he's intent on trying to stop Dracula plans.".

Mr. McDougal, "Man, if I could just sell tickets to that show!  Heh.  So you're telling me that Dracula and the Frankenstein monster are real.".

Prof. Stevens, "Well you saw the monster with your own eyes didn't you?".

Mr. McDougal stating eagerly,  "To be honest with you mister I'm not quite sure what I saw but what I do know is that with your testimony and the other witness's, I'm sure to get a nice fat insurance payout on those two missing exhibits.".

Prof. Stevens, looking displeased, "Here, please take over so I can check on Joan.".  Prof. Stevens then hands the boat's oars to Mr. McDougal who in turn hands them to his friend.

Meanwhile back at the castle the phantom footsteps have made their way upon the doorstep of the great stone structure.  The huge circular, iron doorknocker raises and lowers as if by itself, thudding upon the massive, wooden door.  After a few moments the door opens revealing a worldly, debonaire looking older gentleman decked out in smoking jacket and looking very at ease considering the state of the previous guests that were encountered.  The gentleman looks around but sees no signs of life until a disembodied voice speaks.
Invisible man, "Hello.  Dr. Lajos?".

Dr. Lajos, "Greetings, I bid you welcome.  Yes, I am Dr. Lajos.".

Invisible man, "My name is Geoffrey Radcliffe.  I received a telegram from a mutual colleague Dr. Mornay."

Dr. Lajos, "Yes, yes of course please come in you must be chilled to the.........bone."

Invisible man, "Indeed, I must apologize for my lack of dress but I was forced to discard my cloths to avoid certain suspicions and unwanted attention."

Looks like you grow weary!  We still have a few players to meet before the real terror starts but alas, it is a little much for the mind to handle.  Why don't you rest for now?  It's not like I'm going anywhere......And neither are you!

Well there it is for better or worse just a small sampling of my little attempt at a Universal Monster tribute (or desecration).  Whether you loved it, hated it, thought the writing sucked, etc. please feel free to discuss.


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