Professor Hepcat's Primer on Supernatural Beings!

[Hepcat]

I'm glad you could join me here today. Our lesson this week deals with differentiating vampires from other creatures of the supernatural.

Now this, class, is a vampire:





This though is a fairy:





Got it? Questions anyone?

[Count_Zirock]

So, a vampire sneers and commands, while a fairy pouts and sparkles. Got it!

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[Unknown Primate]

Thanks, Prof!

So, do werewolves look like Oliver Reed in "Curse of the Werewolf" or more like CGI mini-van-sized malamutes?

[Fester]

I'm confused.  I always thought vampires looked like Bela Lugosi not Count Dooku . . .

[Hepcat]

So, do werewolves look like Oliver Reed in "Curse of the Werewolf" or more like CGI mini-van-sized malamutes?

Good for you! I see you're already ahead in the text. We'll cover that lesson next week though.

I always thought vampires looked like Bela Lugosi not Count Dooku....

Ahhhhhh, but since the form of vampires is derived from that of humans, you will find as much variance in appearance of vampires as you do in humans. Therefore the image below is that of a perfectly respectable vampire.





Attitude, carriage, mannerisms, these are the things that are key to differentiating at a glance between vampires and fairies, elves or pixies. Note in particular the regal bearing of the subject above.

[Flower]

Do I get extra points on my exam if I know that some 'real' vampires, when you look into their eyes, you can see bats?

Are your exams based on curves?

[Hepcat]

Do I get extra points on my exam if I know that some 'real' vampires, when you look into their eyes, you can see bats?

Yes, batting your eyes has been known to produce that effect.

Are your exams based on curves?

Yes, I admit there have been occasions when I've had to resort to grading on the curve.

[RedKing]

I'd give those curves a top grade! Ingrid Pitt was soooo sexy!

[Sly Wolf]

Mr. Hepcat? How do the vampire transforms into a giant bat, how they do it? Do they said the magic word or slowly transforming in a way any werewolves do?

Or they just pop into smoke where there is a giant bat that takes place of the vampire's spot?

[Hepcat]

Careful observation of the behaviour of vampires reveals that they transform into bats instantly in a puff of smoke through sheer force of will with nary a magic word uttered.

[RedKing]

I believe Bugs Bunny provided the answer to how vampires transform to bats when he met Transylvanian vampire Count Bloodcount in the 1963 Chuck Jones directed Loony Tune Transylvania 6-500. The undead blood sucker must use the mystic phrase "Hocus Pocus" to transform to a bat and the equally mysterious arcane phrase "Abra Cadabra" to change back.

[Sly Wolf]

How do you explain the strange and unusual existential of the Bunnicula? The rabbit that suck all the juice out of the vegetables in return that those vegetables turns into white unless things to eat. Do you ever meet Chester the cat and Harold the dog?

[Hepcat]

I believe Bugs Bunny provided the answer to how vampires transform to bats when he met Transylvanian vampire Count Bloodcount in the 1963 Chuck Jones directed Loony Tune Transylvania 6-500. The undead blood sucker must use the mystic phrase "Hocus Pocus" to transform to a bat and the equally mysterious arcane phrase "Abra Cadabra" to change back.

Count Bloodcount was clearly not a very powerful vampire then. Truly powerful ones like those I pictured above don't even need to say those words under their breath; all they need to do is think those words.

[Flower]

I saw this guy on my front steps this evening .. excuse me while I get my garlic out ...

[Count_Zirock]

All cats are naturally allergic to...
ALL CATS IS VAMPIRES!!!

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