10 Toys That Wouldn't Be Released Today

[Monsters For Sale]

I want the nuclear lab.

http://now.msn.com/dangerous-toys-from-the-past-photo-gallery

[Gillfan]

Lawn dart were never a good idea. To this day I'm convinced they were made by someone trying to kill kids. That said, I wonder if they would be effective against zombies.....

[Flower]

Part of the problem is that parents don't really supervise their children .. Easy Bake Ovens are only a problem if no one is watching and advising their kids .. as is the same with most of the other toys.

The older woman (in her 80's) down the block saw one mother not paying attention and her two little girls (the same ones in my back garden) almost get run over by a trash truck. The older woman was upset and told the girl's mom to put her kids on a leash .. Words followed.

REALLY .. if you watch and teach your kids the proper way to handle toys (and life) many of the 'dangerous' things aren't dangerous.

[Unknown Primate]

"OREO" Barbie?  Really?!!

We still have a Chomping Cabbage Patch Kid and a cool Sky Dancer - thank goodness they're trapped in a plastic bin somewhere.  They were my daughter's - I would never play with something that dangerous!

[marsattacks666]

"OREO" Barbie?  Really?!!

We still have a Chomping Cabbage Patch Kid and a cool Sky Dancer - thank goodness they're trapped in a plastic bin somewhere.  They were my daughter's - I would never play with something that dangerous!

I remember the Choming Cabbage Patch......scary.

[Python]

The Strange Change Time Machine, Incredible Edibles and Thingmaker. Hmmmm.....a metal electric heating pan. Plastic is heated to a very high degree and the kid takes the tray out with a pair of tongs. Then, with Incredible Edibles, the kids EAT the hot boiling goop. With the Thingmaker, the kids put the hot goop on their faces. Nah, I don't see any problem there. Heck, I survived them!

[Count_Zirock]

Don't they still make and sell Easy-Bake Ovens, though? I could swear I saw them on the shelves last Christmas. I think they now make one endorsed by Chef Duff Goldman from "Ace of Cakes"!

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[Dr. Madd]

Some stuff wouldn't be released now due to that tyranny with manners, political correctness.

[Mike Scott]

TRANSSCRIPT OF AN OLD "CONSUMER REPORTS" SHOW ON DANGEROUS TOYS FOR KIDS:


Consumer Reporter: Good evening, and welcome to the holiday edition of "Consumer Probe". Our topic tonight is unsafe toys for children. For instance, this little bow and arrow set. [ holds up ] Pull the rubber suctions off, and the arrows become deadly missiles.

We have with us tonight, Mr. Irwin Mainway, President of Mainway Toys. Uh, Mr. Mainway, your company manufactures the following so-called harmless playthings: Pretty Peggy Ear-Piercing Set, Mr. Skin-Grafter, General Tron's Secret Police Confession Kit, and Doggie Dentist. And what about this innocent rubber doll, which you market under the name Johnny Switchblade? [ holds up doll ] Press his head, and two sharp knives spring from his arms. [ demonstrates ] Mr. Mainway, I'm afraid this is, by no means, a very safe toy.

Irwin Mainway: Okay, Miss, I wanna correct you, alright. The full name of this product, as it appears in stores all over the county, is Johnny Switchblade: Adventure Punk. I mean, nothing goes wrong.. little girls buy 'em, you know, they play games, they make up stories, nobody gets hurt. I mean, so Barbie takes a knife once in a while, or Ken gets cut. You know, there's no harm in that. I mean, as far as I can see, you know?

Consumer Reporter: Alright. Fine. Fine. Well, we'd like to show you another one of Mr. Mainway's products. It retails for $1.98, and it's called Bag O' Glass. [ holds up bag of glass ] Mr. Mainway, this is simply a bag of jagged, dangerous, glass bits.

Irwin Mainway: Yeah, right, it's you know, it's glass, it's broken glass, you know? It sells very well, as a matter of fact, you know? It's just broken glass, you know?

Consumer Reporter: [ laughs ] I don't understand. I mean, children could seriously cut themselves on any one of these pieces!

Irwin Mainway: Yeah, well, look - you know, the average kid, he picks up, you know, broken glass anywhere, you know? The beach, the street, garbage cans, parking lots, all over the place in any big city. We're just packaging what the kids want! I mean, it's a creative toy, you know? If you hold this up, you know, you see colors, every color of the rainbow! I mean, it teaches him about light refraction, you know? Prisms, and that stuff! You know what I mean?

Consumer Reporter: So, you don't feel that this product is dangerous?

Irwin Mainway: No! Look, we put a label on every bag that says, "Kid! Be careful - broken glass!" I mean, we sell a lot of products in the "Bag O'" line.. like Bag O' Glass, Bag O' Nails, Bag O' Bugs, Bag O' Vipers, Bag O' Sulfuric Acid. They're decent toys, you know what I mean?

Consumer Reporter: Well, I guess we could say that all of your toys are really unsafe and should rightfully be banned from the market. I guess I would just like to know what happened to the good ol' teddy bear.

Irwin Mainway: Hold on a minute, sister. I mean, we make a teddy bear. It's right here. [ picks up giant teddy bear ] It's got a nice little feature here, you see? I'll hold it up here. We call it a Teddy Chainsaw Bear. [ revs chainsaw in teddy bear's stomach ] I mean, a kid plays with saws, he can cut logs with it, you know what I mean.

Consumer Reporter: Well, this is certainly a very sad situation. One of the precious joys of Christmas warped by a ruthless profiteer like yourself.

Irwin Mainway: Well, that's just your opinion, you know what I mean?

Consumer Reporter: Well, I just don't understand why you can't make harmelss toys like these alphabet blocks. [ points to blocks ]

Irwin Mainway: C'mon, this is harmless? Alright, okay, you call this harmless? [ holds block in hand ] I mean.. [ plays with block and fakes injury ] Aagghh!! I got a splinter in here, look at that! This is wood! This is unsanded wood, it's rough!

Consumer Reporter: Alright, that's enough of this ridiculous display. [ holds toy phone ] Here is another creative toy, safe enough for a baby!

Irwin Mainway: [ grabs phone ] You say it's safe, I mean, look at this cord.. the kid is on the phone - "Hello? Hello?" - then.. [ twists cord around his neck, screams, and falls backward in chair ] You know what I mean? It's an example! You see my point, a dangerous toy like that?

Consumer Reporter: Well, let's try this one. What about this little foam play ball? I mean, even you, Mr. Mainway, can't find anything dangerous about this. Huh?

Irwin Mainway: [ takes ball, bounces it on table, then shoves it in his throat and feigns choking ]

Consumer Reporter: That's all the time we have for "Consumer Probe" this week.

[Count_Zirock]

Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtain...classic!

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