Author Topic: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.  (Read 16198 times)

BlackLagoon

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #30 on: July 04, 2012, 11:09:34 PM »
Oh man...I got through about 3 seconds of that before I started getting hives.
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Sean

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #31 on: July 05, 2012, 12:02:04 AM »
If I went down to the YMCA and started cracking entire families in the head with a Louisville Slugger-----I'd get off with a warning once I told the cops that I had just watched Chicago with Richard Gere because they'd understand.  EVERYONE should understand, right?



I would rather be forced to watch 7 Brides For 7 Brothers AND dress like one of them every day for an entire year than see Chicago again.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2012, 12:05:27 AM by Sean »

BlackLagoon

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #32 on: July 05, 2012, 12:22:16 AM »
I clocked that one in at 0:04

It's not everyday I get to stay up till the wee hrs of the morning like this....I have no room for Chicago...I mean literally no room. There is bile in my throat right now because of those 4 seconds.
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Fester

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #33 on: July 05, 2012, 12:37:01 AM »
Speaking of hive inducing:

Can't Stop The Music starring Steve Guttenberg, Valerie Perrine, Bruce Jenner, Paul Sand, Tammy Grimes and The Village People!  Newsweek said of it: "Can't Stop the Music ushers in a whole new concept in entertainment -- it's the first all-singing, all-dancing horror film; the Dawn of the Dead of the disco era."
It cost $20 million to make and brought in only $2 million.  Grease 2 made more in its opening weekend than this turkey did in its whole theatrical run.
Can't Stop the Music Trailer

Haunted hearse

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #34 on: July 05, 2012, 01:24:37 AM »
With such genuinely atrocious films as "Trash Humpers","Last year at Marinebad" and "Battleship"; as well as really awful musicals such as "Lost Horizon" (1970's), "Xanadu", "Can't Stop the Music"; I find it difficult to believe that there are people here who perfer those to "Chicago", and Gene Kelly Musicals (we'll as far as Kelly is concerned, the ones besides "Xanadu") which I really enjoy.  When a film is included in this thread as "the worst', there's a clear inferance the poster thinks all other films are better then what the one they are posting about. Oh well, to each their own.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2012, 06:29:02 AM by Haunted hearse »
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Haunted hearse

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #35 on: July 05, 2012, 01:31:26 AM »
Meanwhile, my daughter wanted to know why some of the people here think the recent musical "Moulon Rouge" is better than "Chicago", which she really enjoyed.
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Sean

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #36 on: July 05, 2012, 07:53:45 AM »
When a film is included in this thread as "the worst', there's a clear inferance the poster thinks all other films are better then what the one they are posting about. Oh well, to each their own.

I never saw "Trash Humpers","Last year at Marinebad", "Battleship", "Lost Horizon", "Xanadu" or "Can't Stop the Music.  The thread is asking for movies we SAW.  There are some films SOOO bad that I never will/ never did give a try. I never saw Moulin Rouge.  Never will.  Can't comment on it.

That said, if I saw Richard Gere walking on the sidewalk after watching Chicago-----I'd drive my car up on it to get him. ;D  That scene I posted is PAINFUL to me.  I'm sure I'm not alone... and it wouldn't matter if I was.  We all have our personal kryptonite. 

As for the Gene Kelly musicals-------BL got me going on the 'dancing/ nature of the character' incongruencies, e.g., gang members dancing or greatest generation active servicemen dancing or mountain men dancing.  Many of them are classic musicals that aren't REALLY the worst movies I ever saw... but from a personal taste standpoint, I'm with BL's grandfather:  "Yeah, dance it out, fellas (as he walks out)". ;D

« Last Edit: July 05, 2012, 08:07:34 AM by Sean »

Sean

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #37 on: July 05, 2012, 07:56:08 AM »
Speaking of hive inducing:

Can't Stop The Music starring Steve Guttenberg, Valerie Perrine, Bruce Jenner, Paul Sand, Tammy Grimes and The Village People!  Newsweek said of it: "Can't Stop the Music ushers in a whole new concept in entertainment -- it's the first all-singing, all-dancing horror film; the Dawn of the Dead of the disco era."
It cost $20 million to make and brought in only $2 million.  Grease 2 made more in its opening weekend than this turkey did in its whole theatrical run.
Can't Stop the Music Trailer


Dave, I had never seen 'Can't Stop the Music'.  But now that I have been subjected to it-------I will drive my car up on the sidewalk to get YOU as well. ;)

Haunted hearse

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #38 on: July 05, 2012, 08:30:09 AM »

That said, if I saw Richard Gere walking on the sidewalk after watching Chicago-----I'd drive my car up on it to get him. ;D  That scene I posted is PAINFUL to me.  I'm sure I'm not alone... and it wouldn't matter if I was.  We all have our personal kryptonite. 

As for the Gene Kelly musicals-------BL got me going on the 'dancing/ nature of the character' incongruencies, e.g., gang members dancing or greatest generation active servicemen dancing or mountain men dancing.  Many of them are classic musicals that aren't REALLY the worst movies I ever saw... but from a personal taste standpoint, I'm with BL's grandfather:  "Yeah, dance it out, fellas (as he walks out)". ;D
We'll Sean, just be grateful that there are cinematic efforts, like the films of Gordon Herschell Lewis and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" that don't require dance as part of their narrative that you can have a better time with. 
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Sean

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #39 on: July 05, 2012, 08:51:52 AM »
We'll Sean, just be grateful that there are cinematic efforts, like the films of Gordon Herschell Lewis and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" that don't require dance as part of their narrative that you can have a better time with.

LOL. ;D
 You know, I LOVE HG Lewis.  So I AM putting Chicago UNDER The Wizard of Gore for watchability. ;) 

Haunted Hearse, I don't know if it's the dancing---------or more the TYPE of dancing...  I have no problem with Grease.  Maybe it's watching the Chairman of the Board locking arms with Gene Kelly and tap dancing in sailor suits and finishing up by plopping down on a bed sitting next to each other with their chins resting on their fists making cutesie Shirley Temple faces that just ruins it.  I'd rather play walkie-talkies with BL's grandad. 8)

Haunted hearse

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #40 on: July 05, 2012, 09:39:38 AM »
Opinions are like rectal orifices; everybody has one.  While I enjoyed the satirical send up of a media circus (such as the OJ Simpson Trial) in the clip you played from "Chicago"; the same scene made you to want to run over Gere with your car.  You loved "Grease", where others have been upset that it provided a mesage to teenage girls that you needed to become a slut to be popular.  Gene Kelly dancing with Frank Sinatra in the uniform of American servicemen was too cutsie for you; whereas I see two talented performers making great art.  I'm glad you like the works of HG Lewis, apparently better then Lewis Himself.  In an interview with John Waters, he stated he considered his work scat.  But again this forum is about the worst films you ever saw.  I can understand someone not liking "West Side Story", Anchors Away", and any number of American Musicals made a half century ago, but I think that the later half of the 20th century has produced films far more deserving of disgust.
 
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Terry

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #41 on: July 05, 2012, 11:33:15 AM »
Worst? That one with Richard Gere- Chicago. I slapped myself after sitting thru it. >:D >:D

Sean

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #42 on: July 05, 2012, 12:23:33 PM »
I can understand someone not liking "West Side Story", Anchors Away", and any number of American Musicals made a half century ago, but I think that the later half of the 20th century has produced films far more deserving of disgust.
Quote


I can't disagree with that last statement.  I just don't even go see them they're so bad.

Fester

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #43 on: July 05, 2012, 01:03:26 PM »
Part of the problem here seems to be a confusion over out of fashion versus inept when it comes to musicals.

I deeply admire Sinatra, Kelly, Astaire and the rest of the stars of the Golden Age Musicals.  I even respect and admire Crosby and Kaye for their work in Holiday Inn and White Christmas.  Those movies were made for one purpose: Escapist Entertainment.  Life was pretty damned grim in the late Depression, World War II and the Postwar years.  These movies were not intended to portray the world realistically.  Sure, there are references to there being a war on and soldiers & sailors were common sights--everybody had a friend or relative in uniform. However, these movies had lots of sappy comedy, schmaltzy romance and totally unrealistic song and dance numbers. And that is exactly what made these movies hits.  People needed and wanted relief from the stresses of life as they saw it. 

You want realism?  Then On the Town should have shown our heroes getting drunk; hiring hookers in the alley; getting rolled and robbed; puking up all over their liberty whites; being tossed in the brig by the Shore Patrol; put on report; and once at sea, dying blown to pieces by shrapnel or drowning on an oil covered sea as their ship is sunk.  I'll take the dancing.

Times have changed. Fashions have changed.

Some of the worst musicals (and bad movies in general) are a result of a bad idea, poor script, inept direction, and non-existent acting.  Case in point: Bruce Jenner was a brilliant athlete-- Decathlon gold medal in '75 Pan American Games and '76 Montreal Olympics.  But did it qualify him as an actor?  Did Nancy Walker (the housekeeper on McMillan and Wife) who had some sit-com directing experience, have the vision or ability do direct a theatrical movie?  I think the answer here was NO.  That movie lost $18 Million dollars.  Now, that is a bad movie.

Fester

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Re: The WORST Non-Monster film you ever saw.
« Reply #44 on: July 05, 2012, 01:05:01 PM »
Dave, I had never seen 'Can't Stop the Music'.  But now that I have been subjected to it-------I will drive my car up on the sidewalk to get YOU as well. ;)

Imagine how homicidal you would have been if you saw more than just the preview! ;D

 

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