"Ode To Stanley's Pussycat"

[Meek]

   Since I brought this up over on the word association topic, I feel obligated to post it:


                                   "ODE TO STANLEY'S PUSSYCAT"


                 "When I was a little child everyone said I was manly.
                  I had a parakeet---a bicycle seat---and a dear little friend named Stanley.

                  His father's voice was somewhat high(something to do with a doctor)
                  His mother taught him psychiatry, honest I could have socked her!
                  She taught her son to exert his mind on animal and friend
                  What he did to his pussycat was just about the end.
                  He purred like other pussycats and always drank his milk
                  Then that dreadful Stanley put him on the couch
                  And psychoanalyzed poor pussycat and made him such a grouch.
                  That pussy's personality slowly began to change
                  He hissed and arched his back so much he looked like a camel with mange.
                  He sneak into the living room with steps as soft as satin
                  Climb upon the cocktail bar and mix a strong Manhattan
                  Throw back his head and gulp it down and lost all sense of reason
                  Leering at female pussycats in and out of season.
                  He'd drink it down, then down the street he'd stagger round and fat
                  Soon everyone was gossiping about Stanley's pussycat.
                  His drinking went from bad to worse, 'twas really most disturbin'
                  He catch the mice at any saloon in trade for a shot of bourbon.
                  Stanley's pussycat became a drunk; he stole to purchase liquor
                  When nice pussycats drank mild and cream, Stanley's would hiccup & snicker.
                  Soon he couldn't catch the mice at all, the saloons would no longer pay him
                  The mice ran away when he sneaked up on them 'cause his breath would betray him
                  His bloodshot eyes would spot a mouse, he'd lurch in hot pursuit
                  And run into the fireplace singing "Mammy" all covered in soot.
                  He'd see two mice instead of one, sneer, "I got you you little mother."
                  But the one he grabbed was never for real, he was always catching the other.
                  Then doom did come as it comes to all, he finally went to the clinic
                  The doctor sneered as he examined him, the doctor was a terrible cynic.
                  His heart beat so awfully fast and even more his pulse, sir
                  Stanley's pussycat was switched to cream, he had a pussycat ulcer."

                                    Percy Dovertoncils, Poet Laureate to the Whole World