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Author Topic: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead  (Read 374742 times)

typhooforme

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #15 on: March 30, 2008, 12:01:05 PM »
Three cheers now for Mr. Jim Bertges!
He stifles his blood-spillin' urges
With daily good deeds--
But the whole village bleeds
When he's out on the "nacht" of Walpurgis!

And what about Matsui (Rodd)?
His twin was seen acting quite odd!
Said Rodd, "That was no twin,
For I saw him begin
As a bubbly blank blob--in a pod!"

There's a young Jersey Devil called Rob,
Who has plans to pull off a sly job--
So look out, Mr. Shank!
Tullo vows he will yank
Souvenirs from your bucket of BLOB!
Robert in Ohio

 "I donít care what they do, so long as they donít do it in the streets and frighten the horses."   Mrs. Patrick Campbell

BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #16 on: March 30, 2008, 04:54:54 PM »
THE PUN OF FRANKENSTEIN:
-------------------------------
Puts the "ICK!" in Limerick, eh, wot?!
````````````````````````````
Sir Robert o' Taylor, 'tis said,
Haunts a house, in Ohio, with dread,
As Dear Friend, of BORIS' Daughter, SARA,
His knowledge could scare ya,
Into turning your beds head-to-head.

typhooforme

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #17 on: March 30, 2008, 05:20:08 PM »
Our old Timotheus, the Baron,
In daylight is sometimes called Herron--
But at dusk, when he howls,
How he startles the owls
With that fearful greasepaint he's a-wearin'!
Robert in Ohio

 "I donít care what they do, so long as they donít do it in the streets and frighten the horses."   Mrs. Patrick Campbell

monsterphile

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #18 on: March 31, 2008, 06:03:35 AM »
Here's 2 for now.  Maybe more if I can find the time.

In Ohio was the Taylor collection
It had clutter in every direction.
But Karloff and Price
Made it real nice
In fact, it was a thing of perfection.


In Pittsburgh we find our chum Max
Whose sobriety had become lax
He is a nice fellow
And is usually mellow
But autograph frauds he attacks.


Meek

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #19 on: March 31, 2008, 10:43:38 AM »

   Where the deuce were all of you with yer limericks back on St. Patrick's Day?

    Hmmmmn, these must be time-released limericks . . .

    Do keep 'em coming!

   
    "Meek"
"I am like a Unicorn in a racing stable. Beast doesn't fit."   T.E.Lawrence

The Drunken Severed Head

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #20 on: April 02, 2008, 03:31:56 PM »
The Necronomicon?? You can't be shown one!
While the libraries never will loan one!
But if it's so rare
And guarded with care
Why does every nutcase seem to own one?

- Dennis Maggard

BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #21 on: April 03, 2008, 12:00:30 PM »
Our dear Severed Head; who's named MAX,
Is a particularly sharp champion, of facts;
Yet, losing his head, 'tis reportedly said,
'Twas done,  with THE TOWER OF PUN-DOM'S AXE!

BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #22 on: April 03, 2008, 12:12:10 PM »
typhooforme writ:
Our old Timotheus, the Baron,
In daylight is sometimes called Herron--
But at dusk, when he howls,
How he startles the owls
With that fearful greasepaint he's a-wearin'!
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Elder Brother ROBERT!
...  Is it Moi? Or, is there a draft, in here? ... Now - Thanks to you! - I shalt have to undergo ye tedious, expensive Cosmetic Surgery ... for, reading your insightful humour, I laughed mine Arse OFF... COMPLETELY! {'Tis no cheap thing, to replace one's hind-quarters!}
It only hurts when I sit!
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON "OWLS WELL THAT ENDS WELL" Von WOLFSTEIN

BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #23 on: April 04, 2008, 01:00:48 AM »
That murderous man, COFFIN RAY,
Has "toys in the attic", they say,
He's mad, but, he's real,
With vegan sex-appeal,
A CAST-STEEL Trouper, o' THE UMA!


packy120353

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #24 on: April 04, 2008, 03:15:43 PM »
Kind of non-Limericky but what do you think I was doing this afternoon?

A Vampire dark and full of fright
Glared down from on my roof this night -
said "It's all right, I vill not bite,
just taking down your Christmas lights!"

And to keep up here's another proper limmy skeleton from my closet:

Once needing more juice than was able,
a monster lay pouting on table.
His capacitors leak,
cosmic power is weak,
So he's begging the Doctor for cable.

packy120353

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #25 on: April 04, 2008, 03:16:57 PM »
Oh and who could forget:

As Count Dracula slowly ascends,
from the Shady View Rest Home of mens.
It's not blood that was stoled,
"It's no fun being this old -
ven you haf to filch somevun's Depends!"


 

packy120353

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #26 on: April 05, 2008, 05:54:29 AM »
Now for a different point of view...

There's a human on top of my bed.
If he moves I can bite off his head.
But not even a rustle,
Packy won't move a muscle.
Tonight I go hungry instead.

A better ambush I must choose.
Tomorrow the closet I'll use.
When he opens the door
I'll grab him before
He can see that I'm not tennis shoes.










typhooforme

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #27 on: April 05, 2008, 10:24:43 AM »
Oh and who could forget:

As Count Dracula slowly ascends,
from the Shady View Rest Home of mens.
It's not blood that was stoled,
"It's no fun being this old -
ven you haf to filch somevun's Depends!"


Packy, The Depends one cracked me up--er, uh...must be my age or something!
Robert in Ohio

 "I donít care what they do, so long as they donít do it in the streets and frighten the horses."   Mrs. Patrick Campbell

packy120353

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #28 on: April 05, 2008, 06:05:19 PM »
Quote
Packy, The Depends one cracked me up--er, uh...must be my age or something!

You mean "The Age of Crackquarius"? Thanks Robert for chuckling! Now go get a paper towel. Mommy, wow!


BARON TIMOTHEUS BGG

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Re: WARNING:Irish Limericks Ahead
« Reply #29 on: April 05, 2008, 09:23:48 PM »
Dear Brothers, PACKY & ROBERT,
... "Excellent, Mr. Renfield, Excellent!" Charming limericks; except, for that line about:
"hafing to filch somevun's depends!" Poor Olde DRAC! As he & I are so closely associated, it brings a sad down-turn, to the usual allure, of Vampiric 'eternal life'.  : {
... Hopefully, this is not too "Olde School"! You younger kids might have to look it up, on-line.
``````````````````````````````````
Our Mr. Brooks, Conrad, by name,
Achieved, long ago, his 15 minutes, of fame,
Not satisfied, he, with mere memory,
Of his past bouquet, of cinematic flowers,
Now, they call him Conrad Add-An-Hour!

``````````````````````````````````
EXANIMO EVERNOW,
BARON TIMOTHEUS, B.G.G.